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“Have you kissed anyone before?”
Following the question is an irrevocably punctuated silence, as Xiao very slowly turns his head to look over at his friend dead in the eye. He purses his lips and his hand tightens around the pencil as he becomes gradually aware of the fact that his face has turned red in a matter of seconds. “No,” he answers, and pulls his eyes away from Aether to continue scribbling on his notebook.
“You like my sister, though,” he chirrups, rolling onto his back. Aether’s on the bed in his bedroom, kicking his legs up against the wall and Xiao is on the floor with his legs folded, focused on the chemistry homework he tried to convince his friend to do, instead of speculating his crushes. The tips of his ears turn red at the question as he continues to dig the nib of the pen further into the page, till his handwriting starts to sound like harsh scratches against the paper.
“I don’t know,” he lies straight through his teeth, one, because he would rather burn to crisp rather than admit his feelings for a person, much less Aether’s sister. It’s not that Aether doesn’t already know—his intuition is to blame for finding out truths way earlier than they’re meant to be revealed—but Xiao hasn’t managed the courage to confess his crush when he’s never liked anyone before. They’ve known each other since they were kids, and Aether knows how difficult it is for him to grow a liking for a person. So, in a way, it’s natural that his best friend jumped at the sight of seeing him in love.
Aether worms off the bed and hangs himself off the edge. He hooks his legs around the bolster and looks right at his friend, who is diligently searching for correct answers in his muddled brain. “You can’t deny it! I’ve seen the way you look at her, and see, you’re even completely red right now—” he teases, a wide grin easing onto his lips.
“Stop,” Xiao insists, pulling his gaze away from his notebook at last. He eyes Aether again, a frown on his reddened face and his hands folded together in an adamant manner. Somewhere along the way, the wind blowing in through the open bedroom windows have also messed up his hair, and it only adds to the fact that he’s helplessly discomposed. Aether rolls over onto his stomach, leans forward, and props his chin up with his palm. He smiles, and not in the way that Xiao likes it.
“Since you’ve never kissed anyone,” he hums in a sing-song tone, as if to pull attention away from what he’s about to say. Aether’s never been good at feigning his emotions, even if it means pretending he’s being casual about something that is not, in fact, casual. “And since you like my sister, who may or may not have a crush on you back—”
“What—?” Xiao interjects, his eyes blown wide open.
“—I was thinking we could practise,” Aether completes, blinking at his friend with earnest eyes.
Xiao holds his silence for a moment. He doesn’t like the implications of this. “Practise what?”
“Kissing, I mean,” Aether blurts, his eyes sparkling with the mellow light of the sun and the thought almost makes Xiao choke on his next breath. He looks back at his friend like he’s made the most bizarre suggestion in the world, which it very well might be, and cups a hand over his mouth. He knits his eyebrows together, searching for any hint of embarrassment on his friend’s face. He finds none. “Come on, I’m not that bad,” Aether insists, pouting when he notices uncertainty riddled on Xiao’s expression.
And it’s at that point when things aren’t as simple as touches on elbows when they’re beside each other, or snagging milk buns off shelves after school, or watching movie marathons on Fridays, or waiting for each other outside class doors to spend lunch together, or heartbeats with missteps.
“You want me to practise kissing with you?” Xiao scowls, finally concedes that anywhere that his conversation leads him is going to be far from him completing his homework, and shuts the notebook on his lap. He has to scrutinise Aether’s expression to really understand what he’s trying to do here, but it’s only after some time of looking that he understands that, maybe, it’s really just an innocent offer.
“Well, yeah,” Aether shrugs, looking uncharacteristically normal about this. “I swear I’m good. Imagine my sister’s surprise when she tries to kiss you and finds out that you’re already experienced!”
Xiao throws his head into his hands and lets out a groan. “Stop it,” he grimaces, pleading with his friend to stop bringing his sister into every conversation, lest he wants Xiao’s heart to stop in his chest. He hasn’t even thought about doing so much with Lumine, really—all he knows is that he likes her. He isn’t even so sure about that fact either, but he’s convinced himself that he does. Part of that doubt comes from the fact that he doesn’t feel things like racing hearts or jittery fingers when he’s around Lumine, even though they’re supposed to happen around someone he likes, but sometimes he gets nervous. He’s seen her a lot growing up, because she’s a grade higher than Aether, and she’s always treated him well.
Xiao doesn’t care much for girls. He doesn’t care much for Lumine either. But he and Aether used to talk about girls a lot when they were children, how they’d get married and have families one day, and it’d be so nice if they were family in some way too. He could be family with Aether if he and Lumine were together, so somewhere along that persistence of wanting to be family, he found himself falling in love with his best friend’s older sister.
Naturally, Aether seemed over the moon.
“Have you kissed girls before?” Xiao cocks his head.
“Psh, yeah!” Aether replies, waving his hand about in the air. “I’ve kissed tons of girls.”
“Like who?”
Aether falls silent after that. “It doesn’t matter!” he says quickly after that, his own cheeks starting to flush scarlet at the idea of having to fess up. He pulls himself off the bed and sits himself down on the ground, legs folded and hands on his lap the same way as Xiao. Creases show in the skin of his eyes as his lips crack into a smile, the golden sunlight falling on his cheeks. “Xiao.”
“No,” Xiao disagrees, still frowning at his friend.
“I know you’re my best friend ever and ever but I’m not going to let you kiss me anytime you want, you know? This might be your only chance so if you want any chance at impressing my sister—” Aether persuades, and it’s horrible how he’s so smart about it too. He knows every way to make his friend concede with his ridiculous requests, and while this one is a little more out of the ordinary, he’s managed to snake the idea into his mind for good.
“Fine,” Xiao relents, puckering his lips.
Aether looks down at them, then back at his eyes, and bursts into a fit of laughter. He leans back against the lacquer bed frame, clutching his stomach as he practically rolls over in his amusement. Xiao lets out a sigh and presses his hand against his forehead in exasperation. He’s starting to think he’s committed to something he really shouldn’t have. “You’re cute when you make your lips look like that!” Aether comments breathlessly in between his laughter, and Xiao’s heart squeezes in his chest.
“Stop,” Xiao pleads, burying his face in his hands. “Come on, stop laughing! I’m going to leave if you keep playing around with me like that,” he says, with a slight whine in his voice.
Aether stops laughing promptly upon hearing his warning. He still lets out a giggle every now and then, as he rises to his feet to draw the blinds and flip the light switch off to, supposedly, create a romantic ambiance when kissing in his best friend’s bedroom is hardly Xiao’s idea of romance. He supposes, for something that isn’t so serious, it doesn’t matter that he can hear the rumble of the television downstairs, or smells whatever godforsaken substance it is that Aether’s older brother is cooking up in the kitchen.
Xiao doesn’t know what he’s doing, so he watches in silence as Aether arranges the world into what could be considered the perfect moment for a kiss. He returns to the ground a few moments later, sits himself much closer to Xiao and smiles at him. As he’s seated there, in front of his friend and looking into his honey-melted gaze, he thinks, maybe, things will not be the same anymore.
Xiao’s calm, though. He doesn’t feel like his heart would jump out of his chest, and his mind is still. His hands don’t feel the need to dig into his skin out of the impertinent worry of kissing someone, and, maybe this comfort is a part and parcel of growing up with someone. “So, you want to do this, right? Don’t tell me I forced you into it,” Aether confirms.
Xiao shrugs. “I guess.”
“You’re ready?” Aether checks again, slapping his hands against his cheeks in preparation. For some reason, he looks like he’s the anxious one even though he’s the one who suggested the idea to begin with. Xiao recognises his nervousness in the form of scratching nails and his shaking leg, and these obvious gestures raise questions in his mind as to what’s making him so worried.
“Sure,” Xiao replies nonchalantly.
“Okay.”
Xiao lowers his gaze to Aether’s lips. They’re pink, and they look soft, as far as he can tell. He has a small idea what they’ll feel like against his own—he’s had relatives press their ones against his cheek when they meet for family gatherings, or his grandfather presses his against his forehead when he visits every weekend. He can’t figure it could be much different from that; only, he hopes, it won’t feel as intrusive as it does when anyone else tries to kiss him.
He inhales, prepares his stance and watches as Aether leans into him. He closes his eyes slowly, mirroring his friend’s posture, and slowly leans forward. It’s at this point when his heart starts to pick up pace with the anticipation of it all, and it’s alright at first until starts roaring in his ears. He inches closer, closer and closer until he feels a pair of hands hold the collar of his uniform and a pair of lips press against his.
Xiao doesn’t expect himself to like it as much as he does. He’s tense, but it’s only because he doesn’t know how to get used to the sensation of something so warm being held against his lips so intimately and so close. He feels a flutter in his stomach and a shiver in his spine, but he learns to like these feelings as he leans forward and eases into the kiss. There isn’t much to it apart from that, but Xiao learns that he likes it a lot more than he should.
After a few seconds, Aether pulls away with a soft wet sound.
“Can I kiss you again?”
Xiao nods his head without thinking. “Don’t think too much,” Aether whispers against his lips, and before he can process those words, a pair of lips are pressed against his ones all too soon. His friend has shifted into a different position—he’s now on his knees and he’s slid a hand against Xiao’s jaw. The warmth on his face and the easy press of another body against his own helps him unwind, and he doesn’t find himself tensing up as much as before.
It feels good. It’ll feel good as many times as they try it, because Aether’s gentle with him and holds him with so much care in the world, it’s hard to hate it. Xiao can’t tell why he grows to like it so much, when it’s just his mouth and it’s another mouth being leaned against his, and it’s so ordinary. Maybe it’s the taste of banana milk which he steals from Aether’s lips, or the floral scent of his shampoo, or the fact that it’s Aether, whom he’s loved in some way even before he knew of love itself.
They get a little carried away in the process, and it’s not until the door creaks without a warning that Xiao pushes his friend off him and sits back. Lumine emerges through the door, blinking at her brother and his best friend with a look of confusion, because they’re both stuck in an obvious state of chaos. Xiao rubs his hand harshly against his lips to wipe the saliva off it, and throws a quick glance at Aether whose lips are red, and somewhat bruised.
“Food’s ready,” she announces and proceeds to leave without asking any questions.
───────
Xiao has a hard time telling himself to stop thinking about it.
He just lost his first kiss to his best friend, and his second, and a couple many after that. His first kiss is supposed to be a big deal, but he’d readily given so many away to someone who’s supposed to be his best friend. Not that it matters—but sometimes Xiao finds his mind circling around the feel of a hand curved around the structure of his jaw, and lips fitted against his lips like the last piece to a puzzle, and the eye contact which leaves a trail of fire burning in his heart.
He finds that he can’t make eye contact with Lumine like he used to. Maybe it’s shame.
Later in the day, when they’re both at school, their friends ask them why their lips are so bruised. Xiao wonders whether Aether will tell them that he’s a horrible kisser and still hasn’t gotten used to kissing without biting his lips, that they kissed that morning in the stairwell to practise again, but he doesn’t. It’s somewhere along that line of thought when Aether pulls him into a hug, instead, and claims that they’ve been doing something secret.
Xiao’s face burns up, but he tells their friends it doesn’t mean anything.
───────
Kissing becomes a part of their every day.
Right after school ends, the two of them would head to Aether’s house where Xiao would be towed up the stairs, pushed against the bed and they’d kiss for a while. Sometimes, they’d stop to do homework, or go downstairs to have dinner together, then they’d continue again until Xiao has to leave in the evening. At times, they kiss at school when no one’s looking—behind the stairwell, in between classes, or even brief pockets of time when no one’s looking at them.
Xiao gets undeniably better at the whole thing as days become months, and the year comes to an end. It’s just comfortable, and most of the time they end up on their sides, their hands slung around each other’s shoulders or waists, kissing lazily until one of them would wake up from their daze and mention the assignment due the next day.
Somewhere along the way, Aether gets bolder with his requests. On one of these days, he separates their lips, even if he still holds his face in a position where their lips are grazing. He’s more desperate today, in the way he runs his hands through Xiao’s hair and against his body, touching and feeling all the places he’s never been before.
Xiao wonders if something happened—if there’s a reason why he’s acting like it’s all going to end.
“Can I do something?” Aether asks, still staring at his lips. Xiao nods eagerly, and a hand reaches for his chest to push him down against the bed. He lies against the pillow, staring up at Aether who’s now leaning down over him, his legs straddling his hips. He’s caught off guard by the sudden weight, and then his back is pressed against the firm mattress with fingers kneading into his shirt. “Uh, sorry, I’ve never done this before and I—” Aether says, chuckling, the scent of fruits on his breath.
“It’s fine,” Xiao reassures with a small smile on his face. “Come here,” he says, and Aether sinks into him with a smile on his lips, bringing them into a kiss. They sort of smile into the kiss, the kind of thing they haven’t done before, and it’s a little difficult to bring their mouths together when they do. It’s fine, though, because Xiao likes it when it’s Aether. He feels a hand travel from his chest, up to his shoulder, and the hand rests over the thin fabric which stands as a guard to his racing heart.
Xiao likes the feeling—of being straddled between knees, of having his heart felt with the nimble touch of a thumb, of the gentle weight pressing down on his stomach.
It’s with a knock on the door that Dainsleif enters the room and the two boys are forced to pull apart. In that split second, neither of them are given enough time to pull away from this incriminating position they’re in. They whip their heads towards the door, and Aether’s older brother looks at them both with a look of increasing concern at the sight of his teenage brother pinning his best friend down against the bed, behind closed doors.
“Aether,” Dainsleif says warningly, folding his arms in a disappointed manner.
Aether is quick to clamber off as he regains his posture on the ground, making a guilty expression in front of his brother. Xiao sits up against the bed, eyebrows furrowed as he tries to wrap his head around the situation. He meets Dainsleif’s eyes, and his stomach ties itself into knots as he starts to worry that he’s done something wrong. He looks over at Aether for some kind of assurance, some kind of hint, that they haven’t been doing something wrong, but his brother’s piercing gaze and the whole truth that they’ve been sneaking around to do this tells him otherwise.
“Xiao, could you step out for a moment? Dinner’s on the table.”
Xiao slides off the bed, pulling his shirt down to hide the portion of his exposed stomach. He adjusts his pants, which had been riding low on his hips because of Aether’s movement on top of him, and with a lowered head slips out of the room. “I think I’m going to go home. Bye,” he says once he’s out the door, his backpack slung over his shoulders and socks dropped down at his ankles.
“Get home safe,” Aether adds meekly from behind, only to be glared at by his brother.
Xiao looks back at him once more, only to have the door shut in his face. His shoulders sag as he turns to look at the front, regret weighing down on his shoulders as he wonders if, maybe, he’s agreed to something he shouldn’t have. He should’ve been responsible enough to stop them, knowing friends don’t kiss friends, and he shouldn’t have gotten so carried away. And he wishes he could be in there and take the blame for Aether because he’s done nothing bad for wanting to help him.
As he’s standing against the closed door, he hears Aether sobbing. He’s mumbling something too, but among the little noise that leaks through the door, and his crying, Xiao doesn’t manage to hear what he’s saying. His heart sinks to a new depth, and his tail tucked between his legs, he leaves.
───────
When they’re eating lunch at school the next day, Aether remarks, preceding an uneven breath, “You’ve gotten good at kissing. You’re really good.”
“Really?” Xiao hums absent-mindedly. His gaze is lowered to the rice on his metal plate, and he’s been playing around with the food ever since he got here. He hasn’t been able to look at Aether since yesterday—not even in the morning, when they pass notes to each other in the class. Instead of sitting beside each other, they’ve made the mutual decision to swap seats with their friends. Though, with Aether’s approach, he can’t help but give into the sickening feeling tossing and turning in his stomach.
“I don’t think you need any more practice,” Aether continues, tightening his grip around the metal plate in his hands. He doesn’t set it down on the table where his friend’s seated, like he doesn’t intend to be there. He swallows a lump in his throat, and it’s at that moment when Xiao looks up, and sees tears welling in his eyes. “I don’t think there’s anything I could teach you, and uh, yeah.”
“Oh, okay,” Xiao replies numbly. Like that, he just agrees to it. He doesn’t know why he does, when his mind is throttling within its chambers for him to speak his truth, when his stomach is twisting and coiling itself into an unfixable loop. He doesn’t question those feelings. He shouldn’t.
Aether’s face falls at the response. “Okay,” he says, quieter. “Are you going to confess?”
“Maybe,” Xiao responds, uncertain. He reads Aether’s face for any hint not to.
Aether forces a smile. “Cool!” he adds with a laugh, backing up. “I’m going to sit with Ganyu.”
“Okay,” Xiao acknowledges, returning his gaze to his food. He doesn’t want Aether to go, as much as he might sound like he doesn’t care. It’s obvious as day, he doesn’t like spending his time with anyone else apart from Aether—so much so that he’d rather be alone than be with anyone but him. He doesn’t like this feeling in the least, and it’s one of the few feelings taught to him by Aether that he wishes he’d never feel again. “Are you going to be fine?” he asks, after a thoughtful pause.
“Yeah.”
“Okay.”
Aether shows him a final, tight-lipped smile, and before Xiao can muster the courage to hold him back and apologise, his friend is already too far out of his grasp. And as Aether’s silhouette drifts to another table, he continues eating and wonders why the food is so tasteless on his tongue.
───────
It’s when Xiao tries to lull himself to sleep that night when the epiphany comes knocking on his door that his feelings for Lumine aren’t what they used to be a couple of months ago; a couple of months ago when life wasn’t kissing behind closed doors, clenching fabric in balled fists and yearning. So, so much of it. More than the fact that he doesn’t feel for her like he used to, it hits him that he never cared for her much at all. He’d known this—but for some reason, he felt the need to like her.
Although all this practice had been for her, Xiao’s not so sure where he stands with his feelings. He doesn’t think about her like he used to—all those thoughts about wanting to hug her, or hold her close, or run his fingers through her hair. He’s done those with Aether, and he thinks it’s perfectly fine when it’s with him. He finds thoughts being replaced by the sight of honey blonde braids instead of Lumine’s light, buttery blonde hair between his fingers.
He doesn’t know what it means.
But if he doesn’t confess to Lumine, all the practice will be for nothing.
So, he decides he’ll confess when he gets the chance. When he returns to school the next morning, after a sleepless night, it’s brought to his attention that Aether looks as bad—if not worse—than him. His hair is thrown into a ponytail instead of his usual braid, and his eyes look red and puffy like he’d been crying. In class, Xiao thinks about poking him in the back and slipping him a note. He decides against it, anyway.
…
“Hey,” Xiao greets, standing at the back door of Lumine’s classroom. He braces himself for the rush of adrenaline when she does so much as look at him, or the flush that will creep onto his cheeks. He’s only a little nervous, but he’s fine, otherwise, and it brings a subtle sense of surprise. Lumine’s face brightens at the sight of him, so she waves at him in greeting.
“Hey, Xiao,” she smiles warmly, meeting him at the back.
“There’s something I wanted to tell you,” Xiao confesses, cutting straight to the point. Lumine glances over her shoulder, where she finds her classmates flocking out of their classroom. She coils a hand around his forearm and drags him through the corridor, away from curious eyes. He looks down at the hand that’s holding firmly onto him with a sense of protectiveness, and he wonders why he doesn’t feel anything.
Lumine leads them downstairs, and when they’re outside, she asks, “Aren’t you with Aether?”
Xiao rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, fidgeting at the mention of his name. “Ah, no,” he fumbles out, mortified enough over the situation to hear about Aether at a time like this. He looks down, then glances up at her through his eyelashes, studying her expression. Her cheeks are dusted faintly with a soft shade of pink, and her eyes are a mesmerising shade of auburn. She’s pretty—just as she always has been. But he feels nothing. He doesn’t know why he doesn’t, but he wishes he would.
“So, what did you want to tell me?” Lumine asks pleasantly, hands tucked behind her back.
Xiao inhales deeply and lets it out. “I like you.”
Lumine’s posture changes in an instant. She narrows her eyes at him, and the smile hung on her lips curves into a doubtful frown. “No, you don’t.”
“Huh?”
She lets out a deep sigh. “Don’t lie to yourself. I know what you are.”
“But I’m not—”
“Don’t deny it.”
Xiao falls silent.
“Have you considered for a second that the person you like might be Aether?” Lumine suggests, folding her arms firmly. Xiao looks up at her for the first time during their exchange, and it’s also for the first time that he feels an ounce of something. His heart starts pumping in his chest, and he becomes all the more aware of the rush of adrenaline in his veins. Panic rises in his throat at the suggestion and his face starts to burn a horrible shade of red.
No, it can’t be.
Xiao looks down at her lips, cherry red and a little darker than Aether’s are—and he knows he’s supposed to want them the same way he wants Aether’s. But he doesn’t, and no amount of pretending or persuading or pleading would ever change that. His face settles into a look of discomfort as he finds himself stumbling backward, in need for support. “Uh, no,” he frowns.
“Xiao, listen. I don’t know you better than you know yourself, but I’ve seen the way you look at my brother, and I can tell you, as your friend, that you’ve never looked more in love.”
And it’s at that moment where Xiao realises that thinking about kissing his best friend when he’s standing in front of the girl he’s supposed to like is not, in fact, normal. The answer to everything had been sitting right in front of him all this time, and for some reason, he’d been so foolish as to have been circling around it all this time. Since they were kids, they’ve been attached to the hip. They’ve slept in the same bed when they were five, shared school lunches when they were seven, memorised each other’s rough corners by the time they were ten. They always loved each other.
There’s a reason why Aether was, and will ever be, the only person to make him feel the things he does.
There’s a reason why he’s as head over heels as he is right now.
Xiao feels stupid, and more than that, he’s delirious at the untimely epiphany. It doesn’t matter that he’s caught friends for his best friend, that he’s seconds away from ruining something so special, because of feelings. He knows it’ll ruin if he doesn’t right his wrongs right now. His body itches all over and his mind is knocking him numb with the idea of running straight to Aether, wherever he is, and kissing him until he’s breathless. He’ll mumble apologies into their kiss, and promises for a better future, and there’ll be no mistakes like right now.
“Lumine, I think I have to go.”
“Yes, please do,” Lumine insists, stepping aside. “He’s at home, by the way.”
“Thank you,” Xiao exhales, and next he knows it, he’s running where home is waiting for him.
───────
The second Xiao bursts through the unlocked doors of Aether’s home, he flounces straight up the staircase and lunges onto his best friend. He yanks him off his bed by the collar, drags him to the bed and pins him down. Aether, who’d made a feeble attempt at diving away, eventually gives into his fate without putting up a fight. “Aether,” he huffs.
Aether blinks at him, looking mildly frightened. “I’m sorry for ignoring you all day—” he apologises, clasping his hands together and squeezing his eyes shut to brace for a punch to the face.
“Aether,” Xiao sighs, loosening his grip on his collar. “That’s not what I’m here for.”
“Is it about my sister?” Aether questions.
Xiao is contemplating all of his decisions at this single moment. His mind is alive with a thousand messed-up possibilities of how this could go, and of all those ones, he only clings onto the ones that tells him that this could go horribly wrong. He panics as he looks into Aether’s eyes, suddenly realises how close they are, how much he wants to kiss him again and do without a confession, but he has to do it. He has to get this out there, even if it hurts. “No,” he argues. “It’s about you.”
Aether squints. “Oh. Did you confess to her?”
Xiao wonders why the conversation keeps coming back to Lumine. “Yes, but that’s—”
“Did she reject you?”
“It doesn’t matter, Aether, because the one I like is you!” Xiao screams, frustrated. As his voice ricochets throughout the closed walls of the room, his hand loosens even more until it drops to his side. His eyes widen, and he waits a moment, then Aether’s does too. His jaw hangs open, and it’s a few seconds after that when his face turns completely red.
“Oh,” Aether makes a sound, barely over a whisper.
Xiao stumbles backward, taken aback by his sudden confession. His mind stirs and his heart falls to the pit of his stomach, and no, he’s done it too soon. He feels the crushing weight of rejection on his mind already, and he can’t be here right now, to cope with it in front of Aether. “I have to go—” he blurts, getting all panicky as he picks up his bag from the floor and tries to run.
“Xiao, don’t go,” Aether calls firmly, pulling onto his wrist. In a single, swift motion, Xiao finds himself pulled back around to face him, and then shoved onto the bed. He finds himself lying on the bed, with his best friend maybe more sitting on top of him. Aether’s hands are caging his head on either side, and their noses are brushing against each other. Of all things he notices, Xiao notices tears in his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Xiao chokes out, and a tear that’s not his own falls against his cheek.
“For making me wait so long, or for confessing to me at all?” Aether asks, a bittersweet smile on his, otherwise, unreadable expression. Xiao sucks in a breath, and he finds he can barely cope with the reaction that’s about to overwhelm him. He looks into Aether’s eyes, his mind reading over his words over and over and over again until they become a chant that echoes through his body, and his soul. “Do you know why I offered to help you practise for my sister?”
“I don’t understand, Aether,” Xiao stammers.
“Because I didn’t think I could go another day without kissing you, when I spent so, so much time loving you,” Aether cries, his body trembling. “And it didn’t matter if it was helping you practise for someone else, if knowing your lips would someday be someone else’s killed me. I wanted you to look at me. I wanted you for myself.”
Xiao lets out an unsteady breath, and brushes his fingertips against Aether’s jaw; and it appeared, from afar, as though he could spend his entire life just looking.
───────
On the other side of the door where Dainsleif and Lumine had been listening, the older brother lets out a groan as his sister holds out an open palm to him. “Couldn’t they have waited a week longer?” he grimaces, slapping a couple of notes into her hand.
“No, and I’m glad they didn’t,” Lumine grins mischievously, closing her hand around the money. “It was a pleasure doing business with you, dear brother,” she announces, marching down the hallway.
“Oh, save it, Lumine!” Dainsleif grimaces.