Work Text:
Tommy sat at the dinner table picking at his food. He grimaced down what was supposed to be mashed potatoes. Mum had been out working late so that meant Phil had to cook for them. An awkward tension hung in the air, silence pounded in his ears.
Phil spoke up, breaking the silence. “So, Techno, how did you do on your English test?”
“I got an A.” He said it casually, the pride hidden in a small smile that quirked at his lips. Tommy wished he didn’t feel jealousy burning in his stomach.
Of course you did, sneered that voice in his head. Techno always gets straight A’s. The teachers loved him, and no matter how hard he tried, Tommy could never catch up. People always sung their praises for Techno, about how he would go to a great college and had so much potential. Tommy was always the afterthought.
“Tommy!” Phil scolded. Shit. Did I say that out loud?
“How’d you do on your test, Tommy?” Asked Techno.
“I got a B,” Tommy said. When he’d gotten it, he had been filled with pride. It had been his highest score all year, almost an A. But next to Techno’s success he shrunk in on himself. B’s were basically unheard of for Techno.
Phil ignored his reply, and Tommy pretended it didn’t sting. “Tom, apologize to Techno.”
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
Silence took over for a moment. The only sound was quiet chewing.
“Um, I got a solo part in the performance for band,” said Wilbur.
“That’s great, I’m so proud of you,” congratulated Phil, the words cut Tommy like a knife.
He just wished that maybe once Phil would say that to him? But he wouldn’t. Tommy was the disappointment, the useless child. Phil and Mum loved gloat about how great Wilbur was at the guitar and singing, or how smart and strong Techno was. Sometimes, Tommy felt like a ghost.
“Nobody cares about your stupid solo, Wilbur,” said Tommy bitterly, before he even knew what he was saying. He hadn’t meant for that to tumble out, for his mouth to spit the words he only let himself think in the quiet of his room. Words he didn’t believe.
“Tommy! Don’t say that to your brother,” said Phil, there wasn’t any malice in his voice, just disappointment. Which somehow made Tommy feel worse. Like he was just a burden on the family.
“Tommy, just because you can’t do anything doesn’t mean you need to ruin everyone else’s time!” Wilbur snapped.
”just because you can’t do anything.”
Wilburs words rung in Tommy’s ears, reverberating through his skull. He wasn’t going to cry. Not here. So he shoved the feeling down and covered it with anger.
“Shut the fuck up!”
“When have you ever done anything with your life, Tommy? When are you gonna start trying for once?” said Techno, the words cold as ice.
“All you ever do is play video games all day. You’re lucky Phil even let’s you live here anymore.”
Tommy waited, prayed for Phil to deny it. To say that was wrong, that of course he loved Tommy, he was his son for god’s sake!
But the silence was deafening.
He just sat and watched as Techno and Wilbur shouted at Tommy. Anger boiled in Tommy’s stomach. Why wouldn’t Phil do anything? Tommy knew he was a bad son, he knew that he could never live up to Techno or Wilbur no matter how hard he tried.
It didn’t matter that he had stayed up until 3 am every night studying the week before his test so he could prove he was smart like Techno. It didn’t matter that he had frustratingly tried to strum notes on Wilbur’s guitar when he was alone, efforts in vain. It didn’t matter because all they would ever see was the lazy, useless Tommy who never did anything right.
If they want me gone, I’ll leave. He furiously wiped at his eyes to try stop more tears from falling. Shoving some clothes and a few snacks he’d hid in his room into a bag, he grabbed his phone and slid open the window.
His room was on the second floor, but he had practice sneaking out. Tommy didn’t think twice before he pushed out the screen and slipped over the ledge. He didn’t care about Phil or Mum or Wilbur or Techno or any of them. Its not like they cared about him. Surely they would be glad he was gone.
Everything felt blurry and fast, and before he knew it, Tommy was at the door of Tubbo and Ranboo’s apartment. Suddenly, time caught up with him and Tommy realized that he didn’t even know if Tubbo or Ranboo were home. He felt a little guilty for showing up uninvited. Maybe he shouldn’t bother them? But he didn’t have anywhere else to go and he thought if one more person yelled at him he would shatter. So, cautiously, he knocked on the door.
There was a little while before it finally opened. Tubbo stood in the doorway.
“Tommy?” said Tubbo, surprise and confusion evident on his face.
It occurred to Tommy that he probably looked like shit. With eyes red from crying and messy hair from running his hands through it constantly.
“Uh- hi,” he choked out weakly.
“What happened? Are you alright?” Tubbo said, furrowing his brow in concern.
“I-,” Tommy swallowed, the words getting caught in his throat, “I got into a fight at home.”
“Here, come inside,” said Tubbo, “Ranboo! Tommy’s here!”
Tommy stepped inside the house, giving Ranboo a halfhearted smile when he came in. The room was nice. Familiar. Not messy, but well lived in. It felt more like home than his actual house.
Ranboo took in his appearance.
“Tommy, are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?” offered Ranboo.
“Uh- yeah, that’d be nice actually. Thanks,” replied Tommy.
“Let’s sit on the sofa,” said Tubbo.
All three of them sat down on the soft fabric of the sofa, Tommy in the middle.
He took a deep breath in before starting, “I made some rude comments about Wilbur and Techno and we-we got into a fight.”
Ranboo gave a reassuring smile, urging him to go on.
“They-they said I was...” he trailed off. Even though Tommy had said a million times to himself, somehow admitting it out loud felt different. He was getting all choked up again. He was just yelling with Techno and Wil about it, how come he couldn’t utter it now?
Because then Tubbo and Ranboo will realize that it’s true.
“Hey,” said Tubbo softly, saving him from the spiral of self deprivation, “you don’t have to tell us if you’re not ready, bossman.”
Tommy swallowed again, avoiding his friend’s gaze. He bit his lip before saying, “They said I was useless. And- and sometimes I feel like it’s true and I don’t know what to do because I’m not good at anything, and I’m mean and selfish and get jealous easily, and I feel like everybody hates me and that they only hang out with me out of pity, and I see that Wil and Techno are always so perfect and Mum and Dad love them and I know that I’ll never be as good as them at anything and that’s probably why Phil never says he’s proud of me or-or-“
“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Ranboo rubbed Tommy’s arm. “You’re not useless, and we love you. Me and Tubbo will always be here for you, okay?”
Ranboo waited for Tommy to nod before continuing.
“And you’re not mean or selfish, you’re funny and welcoming and you get along with everyone you meet. I know you may not see your talents right now, but you are so great at so many things and I’m proud of you for that.”
Tommy sniffled. He wasn’t one for sappy speeches or anything like that but Ranboos words affected Tommy more than he had anticipated. He didn’t want to cry in front of his friends but it seems that line was already crossed. He rubbed at his eyes trying to clear his blurry vision and smiled.
“Thanks man, that-that means a lot.”
“We love you dude,” said Tubbo, wrapping an arm around Tommy.
Tommy was definitely crying now. He rested his head on top of Tubbos. “I love you guys, too.”
Eventually they feel asleep like that, in a group hug on the sofa. Tommy was uncomfortably squished between his two best friends but he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. He smiled into Tubbos hair as another round of tears came on, but this time they were welcome. Even if things sucked right now, he knew that he could always count on his best friends.