Chapter Text
Tooru sat on the side of his daughter’s bed, gently brushing her hair out of her sleeping face. She was all tuckered out, having been so wound up and excited for her very first cruise. Her energy meter ran out almost as soon as they were in their room and she had a few moments to be still. He’d gone to go unpack his own bags, and when he came back to check on her, she was out cold. So, as carefully as he could, he moved her more comfortably on the bed, covered her with one of the blankets she brought, and finished unpacking for her.
“Finally ran out of gas, huh?” He turned to see his mother at the joint room doorway.
“Yeah. She crashed within a half hour of being here.”
“I thought she would.”
There was a bit of an uncomfortable silence between them.
“Take care of her, okay?”
“Tooru…”
“I’ll be back.”
“Okay. But when? You know when she starts missing you, she’s going to want to find you.”
“There are plenty of things to distract her on this ship. That's why I picked it. Besides, we’re going to be on this ship for a month. A few days won’t hurt.”
“Please, Tooru.”
He bent down to kiss his daughter’s cheek. She’d been the result of a mistake he made eight years ago; her mother left her on his doorstep in Argentina when she realized caring for a child was too much for her to deal with. It was almost too much for him, too, with his volleyball career in its prime. But, after a year of trying to juggle both being a single father and playing volleyball, he made the decision that changed the course of his life forever. He resigned from the team, packed up everything he owned, and brought his daughter back home to Japan.
His mother was thrilled to have a granddaughter. His friends cracked jokes at his predicament, but also doted on their ‘niece’ almost as much as his mother did. It made him happy, back then, to know his daughter would have three protective uncles her whole life.
Tomoe was his blessing, his angel, and his steady presence. She was his little mini-me. She favored him in all but hair and eye color: honey blonde hair that reached just past her little shoulders, gray eyes that looked almost blue in certain light. And lately, her sunny disposition was helping him keep it together.
“Just give me a few days, mom.”
“You’re acting like he died.”
“He might as well have.”
“Good riddance, I say. He didn’t deserve you, or Tomoe.”
“Don’t say that, mom. I know you loved him as much as I did.”
“Of course I did. I guess I still do. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be angry with him.”
He chuckled softly and stood up, careful not to wake his daughter.
“I can really pick ‘em, can’t I?”
“It just wasn’t a good fit, Tooru.”
“No, mom, I know. There’s still someone out there for me, right? That’s what you always tell me, isn’t it?”
“Yes. They’re still out there. Maybe they’re just waiting to meet you. Maybe…”
Tooru snorted and his mother looked at him with a mix of sympathy and disappointment. It was a common look on her face lately, and he hated it, because it was all his doing that it was there in the first place. He’d gone off on her one night, never meaning to, but alcohol has a way of dulling everything.
“Why? Why do you keep looking at me like that? Why does it look like you’re blaming me for yet another bad decision I made?”
“I’m not, sweetie,” she said as she sat down at the table beside him and gently brushed her fingers through his hair. “You’re my baby boy, so my heart hurts to see you like this. I’m disappointed that yet another person has broken your heart. But, Tooru, maybe one day, you’ll find someone who can help you put your heart back together. Someone who will love and cherish both you and Tomoe. Someone who will stay.”
He wished he had an ounce of her optimism right now. Even so…
“Take care of her,” he told her again, looking his mother right in the eyes. “Distract her. Do what you need to do to keep her from coming after me. There’s an entire deck upstairs dedicated for the children onboard. She’ll love it there.”
His mother sighed with resignation. “Fine. How long will you be gone this time?”
“Just a few days. Max. I promise.”
“Alright. As long as you’re not gone any longer than that. She’s just as stubborn as you are.”
“I know.”
He watched his mother deflate a bit, and the disappointed expression was completely aimed at him. But he had to deal with this last heartbreak in his own way, which meant he was going to need a few days, a few bottles, and a place to be alone. Tomoe didn’t need to see him in the state he was going to put himself in. Not again. It broke his heart to see her little face crumple into tears when she found him that one time. She’d come up to him, told him he stank, and then cried, taking his face in her little hands. He’d promised her he’d never do it again.
Tooru cursed himself for breaking that promise. He knew drinking himself into a stupor wasn’t going to help in the slightest. But this breakup had been the worst of them all, and took its toll. He was mourning the loss of one of his best friends, regretting the decision he made to even get involved with them, knowing what it could lead to, and raging over the fact that this relationship had also hurt Tomoe, too.
He thought he’d finally found a partner to spend the rest of his life with.
His daughter had begun to love them like another parent instead of simply an uncle.
But, it wasn’t to be. It was a good thing his ex left before any further wedding plans could be made. And Tomoe was so resilient. His mother’s influence, no doubt. She was angry at first, and then she clung to him for both their sakes. His daughter was perfectly fine after a week. It was him who was much slower at going back to normal.
Making sure he had his wallet, the room keys, and a small bag with a change of clothes, he bent once more to give his daughter a kiss, and then he kissed his mother’s cheek, too. Nothing was said. Nothing needed to be said. Turning away from the two best ladies in his life, Tooru left to find the bar furthest away from their room.
One last journey into drunken misery.
One last bender.
He had a daughter to raise, and he wasn’t going to wallow in self-pity any more than he had to.
After this, he was swearing off all relationships.
For himself, and for Tomoe.
~*~
Koshi took one last look around the huge indoor area, on the second topmost deck, that was allotted for the kids on this cruise. Bright colors, padded flooring, and different areas for activities for those kids who came here to play while their parents did something else. His boss, the Director of Children’s Activities, and he had welcomed all of their staff in a meeting that ended fifteen minutes ago. First shift workers would be expected to be here and ready to go by 7am. Which meant he also needed to head down to his own quarters. He checked off the last item on his list, put his pen in his uniform pocket, tucked his clipboard under his arm, and switched off the lights before sliding the huge glass doors behind him, listening to the locking mechanism activate.
“Ready for tomorrow, Koshi?”
Koshi turned to see his boss, Kiyoko, waiting calmly for him. He thought she already left, considering she had to be back up here earlier to make last minute preparations. Still, he smiled gently and started walking toward her. She joined him as they made their way to the elevators.
“Ready,” he answered her. “How come you’re not already in bed and asleep?”
“Not tired yet.” She shrugged and smiled at him as he pushed the down button and they waited on the elevator. “Besides, I thought I’d ask you something.”
“Oh?”
There was a gentle ding and the doors shushed open. They stepped inside, and Kiyoko tapped the button to their deck. Once the doors were closed, she spoke again.
“We’ve been assigned to the same cruises for a few years now, and I’ve been watching how you handle a few new responsibilities each cruise.”
“Ah,” he responded, unsure what exactly to say.
He knew there were employee evaluations, and each time, he did well enough to pass muster. Over the years, he steadily rose up the ranks to Assistant Director of Children’s Activities, and landed a semi-permanent position on this ship. After this repositioning voyage, he’d be boarding another ship for the new season, only to come back once that season ended.
The elevator door shushed open again, and they stepped out an almost empty Promenade deck. Most of today, passengers boarded the ship and settled in, taking advantage of room service and resting. Some people explored, and even more chose to go shopping and check out the restaurants onboard. Tomorrow, the ship would leave port and set sail for their destination. This was the longest cruise of the year, and one-way, which meant passengers would be flying back home.
“What would you say to a promotion?” Kiyoko asked quietly.
“A… promotion?” Koshi asked back, stopping in his tracks in the middle of the atrium.
“Well, yeah. My colleague on the Mediterranean route is retiring after her repositioning cruise, and they’ll need someone to take her place.”
“The Mediterranean…”
Kiyoko had no idea how much he wanted to return to that route. It’s where he started, and he fell in love with each port of call. Greece and Italy, even Istanbul; Koshi loved it all. Especially the sun and warm weather.
“They need someone with experience, and you’ve got that in spades. Plus, you’re good with kids and helpful with staff. You know what you’re doing, and you enjoy doing it. They need someone like you to take over for her.” Kiyoko sounded like she really wanted him to go. Koshi had to admit, it was very tempting. “Anyway. The position is yours, if you’re interested.”
“Wait. What?”
Kiyoko turned to him and smiled. “I told her all about you. Gave her a glowing recommendation. You’re the perfect fit, Koshi. I just know you’ll be a damn good Director.”
“When do I need to let you know?”
“By the end of the cruise,” she replied, blinking. “Honestly, I thought you’d have already agreed.”
“Well, it is a big step. I’d be moving to another part of the world. I need to consider everything this opportunity entails.”
Kiyoko looked a little relieved. “Smart man. Well, this is where I need to part ways. See you in the morning.”
“Yeah. See you.”
It wasn’t that he didn’t want the position, Koshi thought as he made his way slowly toward the back of the ship, and a smaller set of elevators primarily for employees. Really, it was a huge boost to his ego that Kiyoko thought so highly of him to recommend him for the position to begin with. The fact that she remembered how much he loved the Mediterranean, and missed it, showed that she had him in mind the whole time. And really, if she had asked him last year if he wanted the promotion, he would’ve already answered and signed his new contract on the dotted line. But…
Lately, he’d been thinking more about retiring himself; going home, finding someone, settling down. For ten years, he’d been working on a cruise ship in some capacity, mostly working with kids. Some made a life-long career out of this kind of job, and he had to admit, he’d still want to be on a cruise at least once or twice a year. Even if he settled down on land, he’d never completely give up the sea. Still, it was becoming increasingly lonely.
Just before he came to the elevators, he nearly ran into someone. They brushed shoulders a little too rough, and Koshi’s clipboard went flying. Both of them mumbled apologies, and the man clumsily bent to help pick up the mess. Koshi thanked him again, this time noticing the not-so-subtle reek of alcohol. He held in a scoff; it wasn’t surprising that there’d be at least one soul aboard ship to get blind drunk before they set sail.
When they rose to their feet, Koshi offered his hand.
“Thank you, again, sir,” he said kindly. “I’m so sorry I ran into you.”
“No, no. ‘M sorry to bump into ya. Wasn’t lookin’ where I was goin.”
When the man clasped his hand, Koshi felt himself shiver, and he took a better look at him. Tall, dark brown hair, eyes like rich chocolate (although slightly unfocused), and the sturdy, strong build of an athlete. He was strikingly handsome, Koshi thought. Better yet, this man was definitely hot. But he was also, quite clearly, drunk. Koshi let go of the other man’s hand and stepped away. Attracted to a drunkard. Lovely.
“Thanks again,” he said with a slight bow before he turned and continued toward the elevators.
“No problem,” the slightly slurred answer followed him.
Well, at least the probability of running into Mr Hot-and-Drunk again was slim to none. Far be it that he’d make assumptions about anyone onboard. Everyone had their own story. But that guy wasn’t going to be anywhere near the kids’ deck, and he was definitely too hot to be single. By the somewhat forlorn expression on his face, it was obvious he also wasn’t on the ship for fun. Of course, that didn’t stop Koshi’s inner mind from imagining what he’d look like sober and smiling.
Entering the elevator, he pushed the button down to his deck, and leaned tiredly against the wall. The last thing Koshi needed was to catch feelings for a man who, by first impression alone, was only here to find solace at the bottom of a bottle.