Chapter Text
Serina tried her best, she really did. But when you keep secrets from your little brother with no excuse other than 'you're too young to get it', things get a little strained. Their mom had stopped showing up about a year ago, but Serina never gave Shouta a reason why.
Even when she had to take a second job, she never let him see how bad things were. And Serina would NEVER let Shouta see dad's shed, the only time she ever got mad was when he tried to go out there. That day, it was the morning of Shouta's 18th birthday, and Serina was passed out on the couch.
She wasn't drunk or anything like that, she just got done working a tough night shift.
...
Shouta had been drifting away from his sister for years now.
He'd like to say it started when he got accepted into UA at fourteen and began making friends for the first time in his life. But that would be a lie. It started with the rules. It started with the secrets. It started when his sister started comming home less and less often.
It started when Shouta came home on his eighteenth birthday to find his sister passed out on the couch, a half empty bottle of something foul smelling sitting on the end table, looking like the very picture of their neglectful, alcoholic mother.
He simmers with resentment and distain as he glares down at her. Finally, he kicks the leg of the couch she sleeps on, making the furniture jerk as he says, "You couldn't have picked literally any other day of the year to start taking pages out of mom's book?"
...
Serina yelped, almost falling off of the couch. She knew it was Shouta's birthday, she even got him a nice gift. And the foul drink? She found an old bottle of booze their mom left behind and she accidently spilt it.
Serina sat up, trying to collect her thoughts after her almost all nighter. "I don't know what you're talking about kiddo, and what's today?" She looked exhausted, it seemed like she'd always been tired lately, but she wouldn't tell Shota why.
...
What's today. What's today.
She really did forget.
"Don't call me that." He snapped instead of answering the question. 'Kiddo' was something his precious elder sister got to call him, not this...this second generation alcoholic in the making. And besides, Shouta wasn't a kid anymore. He hadn't been for a long time really, but it was official now that he'd turned eighteen.
...
She sighed, running her fingers through her hair. "Alright Shouta, what's going on today?" Serina knew it was something important, but a series of rough night shifts in a row did things to a person's memory. She felt awful, some nights she even contemplated calling cps to help her take care of Shouta, but then she remembered how easy it is for a child to slip through the cracks, especially considering what their dad was doing.
...
"What's going on today?" Shouta sneared mockingly back, voice hitting a bad falsetto imitation of his sister's question. He huffed, then continued in his own voice, "You know I'm an adult now, right?" he asked annoyed, in a tone that suggested he very much doubted she did know that. "Does that mean I'm finally old enough to know about all those secrets you've been keeping from me our whole lives?"
...
She froze upon realizing that it was her brother's birthday. She backed up, sitting down on the couch and sighing. "I-I am so sorry Shouta, I was honestly planning to get up early and make something special."
Serina looked away, not wanting to answer his question. "Well...it entirely depends on what questions you wanna ask, because there are somethings you still shouldn't know." A good example would be the shed, there was only one time Serina yelled at Shota, he was eight years old and she caught him trying to go out to their dad's shed. Their dad died not long after Serina turned eighteen, but she sill wouldn't say what he was doing out there in the shed.
...
Shouta narrows his eyes. He's not certain he believes her about remembering his birthday, and he thinks it should be obvious what questions he has. It's same questions he's been asking for years, ever sense he realized that his family didn't work like other people's families when he was a kid.
"Questions like why do I always have to go to bed by six thirty."
That rule was half the reason Shouta's sleep schedule was so awful. He'd go to bed, sleep for eight hours, wake up at three in the morning, and then just lay awake for the next three hours with nothing to do until he went in to school super early.
"Or what ever happened to mom." Shouta continued, ruthlessly asking all the questions Serina had always flinched away from answering. "Or what dad keeps out in that damn shed you're so scared of."
...
She sighed, shaking her head "It's not about sleeping, I just don't want you out of the house past 6:30." Serina got a little tense hearing about their mom. "I told you, mom left. She was an alcoholic who loved beer more than her kids." That was a half lie, their mom did drink a lot, but it had nothing to do with why she left.
Dad was the last straw, she stood up, looking down at her shorter brother. "Shota, I told you to not ask about that, dad is dead now, and what he kept in his shed is none of our business." Serina knew what it was, she knew the real reason their mom left, she knew all sorts of things that she'd never tell Shouta. Like how dad really died, she said it was a heat attack, but that was a lie.
...
Shouta's voice was tense. "It might be true that mom loved her drink more than us, but she stayed with this family for two decades anyway. What changed to make her decide to leave after nearly twenty years? And dad's shed...I know there's something bad out there. You wouldn't care so much if there wasn't." He raised his voice a little. "I'm days away from starting my career as an underground hero, you know. There's nothing in that shed that I'm not going to be swimming neck deep in with my career...and even if there was, I've had to live next to that thing for eighteen years now! I think I deserve to know what's in it!"
...
Serina shook her head, trying to keep her voice level and calm. "Shouta, I've told you a million times to stay out of there, and no matter how much crap you see out in the world you're still my brother, and it's my job to protect you." Serina knew she hadn't done the best job of that, but she knew she'd always protect Shouta from their dad, even if it killed her.
...
The shed was always kept locked. But Shouta had been training to become a hero for half his life. If he really wanted to find out what was in that shed, he could make it happen. But at this point, it was almost more the principle of the thing.
He felt it was important that Serina acknowledged his adulthood, that she acknowledged that he was old enough now to share their family's burdens. He had spent half his life helplessly watching Serina destroy herself an inch at a time trying to raise him and protect him where their parents had failed.
He literally could not stomach watching for a single minuet more.
His eyes trailed back over to the bottle he had found at Serina's side. He still wasn't certain that he believed it was a remnant of their mother's, as Serina claimed.
His eyes darted back to meet Serina's, their looks so similar it was almost like gazing into a mirror. "Tell me about the shed, or I'm leaving, and I'm not comming back." Shouta blurted out abruptly, jaw set stubbornly.
The words to describe what his demand really meant tangled in his throat. Share your burdens with me. He meant to say. Let me help you. I can't and I won't keep watching you fall apart trying to deal with everything on your own. Come with me when I go. Leave this awful place and it's secrets behind us.
But Shouta was no wordsmith, and so all that came out was that damning ultimatum.
...
Those words hit Serina like a bullet. They seemed to confirm the inkling of a thought in the back of her mind, the thing that kept her up in the late hours of the night, the one thing she truly wonders. From Serina's point of view, those words meant she failed as a sister.
She sat back down on the couch, trying to figure out how to move forward. Millions of emotions and thoughts bubbled inside her. 'surely he wouldn't', 'where would he go?' Serina didn't know any of Shouta's friends, so she had no idea that there were many places to go, and for a split second, 'how dare he' flashed through her mind.
But she pushed that thought away, no matter what their parents did, no matter how many school dances she missed, no matter how many years went by where Serina had no social life outside of work, she could never blame Shota for any of it. She decided to keep Shota in the dark about what was happening, and she'd take that decision to the grave with her if need be.
"I don't want you out on the streets, but there are still things that you just don't need to know."
...
"Let me help you!" Shouta had tried to say.
And Serina had said, "No."
"I guess there's nothing else left to say then." Shouta said slowly, dully. It hardly felt real. It was against his nature, to turn around and walk away from someone who needed help, especially someone who had dedicated so much of her own life to helping his.
But all his life leading up to that day, Selina had unintentionally taught him an important lesson, over and over again, hammering it home.
You can't help someone unless they let you. And Selina had said, 'no'.
Shouta turned away from his sister without another word, only staying in that house long enough to grab his already packed bag out of his room. Hizashi's family was already ready for him to move in. They should only need to rely on his boyfriend's parents for a year or so, just until their careers took off, and then they would be free to pursue their own happiness in life.
If she would not let go of the secrets in her heart and come after him when he left, then living life well was the closest Shouta could come to honoring the sacrifices his sister had made for his sake.
He left without looking back.
...
Serina kept her eyes shut the entire time, hoping that if she pretended it wasn't real, then she could save herself the pain. But, as Shouta walked to his room, Serina did the one thing she swore she'd never do, she cried. That day was the first time in Shouta's life Serina let herself cry in front in him, and it seemed like it'd be the last.
That day, a part of Serina died, but she knew this would happen. She knew she couldn't always protect Shota from the world, but that knowledge did nothing to dull the pain she felt.