Work Text:
I just wanted more of you. To be enveloped in your sweet scent, to feel your warmth next to me, to see the tears fall from your beautiful eyes, leaving glistening lines behind. I didn't want to be your friend anymore because I knew you'd just run away more but at the same time I couldn't keep myself away from you.
Everytime I looked into your eyes I saw I would never be enough for you and you only made it worse by keeping your distance from me. I was going mad with every day passing, somehow still hoping that everything would change and we could be together. That everything will be okay. It was nothing more than just a lucid dream of mine which I couldn't escape.
I was back at square one, fighting with myself but you... you were my only dream. For you I could stand up again.
The drugs kicked in harder that night, making me fall apart completely but I still loved it. I loved the feeling of falling where nothing mattered anymore. The only thing I could think of was you. I knew I made the wrong decisions but I couldn't go back anymore. I did something dirty for once even if it meant going against every law possible just so I could keep you with me. The moments you spent crying, praying and suffering were true heaven for me. I was flying between clouds, with you in my arms.
I told you to say goodbye to my good heart cause the me you knew before was no longer existing. I changed, but only for you, can't you see? Every word I said was filled with my passion for you but you were just so blind to see me, to see my soul. Your friendly glances made your words cut into my soul even deeper, sending me to a spiral of insanity.
At first I wanted to run away from my own feelings, but they grew beyond me and I couldn't control them anymore. To be honest, at one point I didn't even want to. Only my instincts drove me when I dragged your limp body to the darkness of my basement.
My thoughts were only filled with you cause even if I tried to stop, I craved you, I was thirsty for you and finally I got you. Your loud cries echoed in the dark room when I pushed your body to the floor and even when you tried to fight, I never let you go. I was scared you'd run away from me again. I wrapped my hand around your throat and squeezed it until the light in your eyes disappeared for a few seconds, leaving only your beautiful body in this world. You came back minutes later, crying silently.
What did I do?
I just took what was meant to be mine but you never gave it willingly. My only motivation was you, my dreams were made about you and my whole world revolved around you. I was never a sweet person to begin with but my instincts made me forget every dirty thing I did, leaving only a sweet, intoxicating feeling behind.
I remember your pleading eyes when you kneeled in front of me, asking for my mercy. With a cold smile, I listened to your words, only your sniffles interrupted your plea. You wanted me. You desperately wanted my help after all the pain you put me through. When you were fighting for your life, you held onto me, trying to grab my soul through your tears but I shook every ounce of good in me, every emotion, leaving just my obsession to drive me forward. Your beautiful face was decorated with deep cuts and blood slowly oozed out of every one of them. It was only the beginning of a new end.
Without a clear pattern I made those cuts around your body, everywhere I felt the need to mark you. To make you mine.
I never wanted to hurt you, you made me do it.
Your deep red blood pooled beneath you, painting the floor red and making the night even filthier and darker. I couldn't contain my excitement so I cut even deeper on your flawless skin. You screamed when I made the next cut, trying to get free from the handcuffs which only made your wrists bleed even more.
You screamed, called me all the names you could think of and you were right. I knew it. Every twist, every little move you made just urged more blood to flow out of your wounds and slowly you lost consciousness but that only made it easier. I went over your body again slowly, marking every piece I could reach, carving my name in your blood painted skin so everyone would know you you betrayed. The one who you just played with and who took everything from you in the end.
My knife easily cut through your skin and you never woke up again. In your last minutes I saw how your heart was still fighting for me but it was already too late.
I sat beside you on the floor, drawing random patterns in your blood, thinking about our world, our love. Your body soon became cold but you were still beautiful. I was madly in love with you because I loved your soul, not just your body. Your first kiss was stolen by me years ago, and it felt right to steal your last kiss as well. Those cold lips of yours felt as hot as fire when I kissed you and it only drove me further, I almost forgot you were no longer alive.
Without thinking I grabbed my knife again and slowly sunk it in you to get to your heart. It was beautiful, colored in the most perfect red. I pulled your heart out and put it on my shelf, into a pretty glass box I prepared. Blood dripped down on the side of the box, right onto my shelf when I closed the lid, sealing your love away.
You were finally mine.
A soft smile crept its way to my lips while I looked at the work we made, while loving each other passionately.