Chapter Text
Arm knows his story of joining the main family as a bodyguard differs from his peers’. From his understanding, most of them have come from the military or police force, while several others had been athletes, including a couple of underground boxers. Arm has never been any of those things. Everyone here seems to know that, going by the whispers in the hallway as he was accompanied inside.
“He took down those politicians by hacking into their systems.”
“I heard he’s the one who killed every person who got in his way of slitting Senator Thanarat’s throat when he somehow got off scot-free. If Chan hadn’t been tailing this guy already to scout him, no one would have known who had done it.”
“I expected him to look like a minor family bodyguard. Tattoos and stuff, you know?”
“He looks so…nerdy.”
“I wonder why he did it.”
Arm ignores all of the whispers. He focuses on all of his trainings, coming to accept a potential fate consisting of him being tied up, weighed down, and thrown into the ocean. He figures if that doesn’t happen, he’ll be shot or stabbed or maybe - just maybe - make it long enough to work his way up to tech and cyber security once a spot opens up, like Chan had suggested. That’s what Arm would strongly prefer. Just because he murdered twelve people, doesn’t mean he likes violence.
He knows to expect it as part of his everyday life though. He may only be 22, but he isn’t naïve enough to believe he will be safe while working here. He has never been safe anywhere else, even when he was only around people who love and care for him. He is taking this job for them. While the promise of moving into a high tech security position after establishing loyalty and trust is intriguing, it hadn’t been the reason Arm said yes. He only said yes after they agreed upon sending money to his foster family - for lack of a better word. To top that off, they also promised to provide the best therapeutic treatment to his foster sister. That last offer had been what sealed the deal, nothing else. He knows a fraction of what she feels, going through some of the same terrors. But she always had it worse than him, even when they were both handed off to…
Don’t think about it. That’s what he always tells himself to do. Don’t think about it like Hansa does. Not thinking about it lets him function. He can put all of his brain power into building new gadgets, coding, hacking into the encrypted files owned by a sex slavery ring, and killing a major member of it. Now, he can put all of his brain power into not dying. The adrenaline from actively trying not to die might be a good distraction, even though Arm doesn’t feel like that sounds right when it comes to him. He appreciates being able to zone into something while not feeling threatened. The thought of what’s expected of him isn’t going to give him that, but it will give his chosen family a security they’ve never experienced. He wants to provide that for them. Hansa, Malai, Nalin, and Preeda might not be his sisters by blood, but they are the only family he has. He can learn to love the rush that comes from potentially giving up his life for some rich criminals. Chan had scouted him out because Korn had been ‘impressed and appreciative’ of the work he had done to help abused children and bring the perpetrators to justice. That tells Arm he isn’t working for an evil criminal organization, even though he knows part of Korn’s interest stems from Arm compromising or eliminating people in power. It gave the family a chance to begin the process of sneaking their own people and allies into those positions. Despite the potential double motive, they seem to care about their own and don’t seem to target people without any power. That’s going to have to be enough for Arm. He’ll deal with all of the trainings, no matter how exhausting and terrifying some of them can be.
He tells himself not to let his guard down and to not have any expectations. He’ll remain safe that way and not be taken by surprise. Or that’s what he thinks until he’s assigned to train in therapeutic crisis intervention and trauma responses. At first, he thinks that the mafia has gotten more compassionate. He even says as much and Bear literally laughs in his face before handing him a packet that lists his official posting.
“You’re working with Khun Nu,” Bear says with a smirk, then waves Arm over to a seat, “He’s a nutcase and you’re going to want to dropkick him. Korn outsources therapists and counselors to train Khun Nu’s bodyguards how to not do just that.”
Arm immediately hates how Bear says it and he hasn’t even met Korn’s sons. He doesn’t even know the guy and the way Bear is talking about him seems unnecessary. Although, his annoyance is mostly overridden by shock that he’s even being assigned to one of them. Arm figured he would be a driver or stand guard outside the house most days. When asked about his preferences, all he had given them was a preference to not accompany Kinn while he’s getting his master’s. Arm got kicked out of the same university as an undergrad eight months ago for hacking the Dean’s computer and exposing him of embezzlement, which is how he caught Chan’s interest in the first place. It would be awkward if he went back to his old university. He hadn’t minded the thought of being Kim’s bodyguard and said as much, since Nalin and Preeda are roughly the same age as him. He never gave a preference when it came to Tankhun. Chan had only mentioned Tankhun’s age (25), where the bodyguards would spend most of their time (within the compound), and Tankhun’s hobbies (games, watching dramas, and designing clothing). He said nothing else that would imply his bodyguards need a crash course in trauma therapy. Arm knows nothing about Tankhun.
He just knows how the group home looked at Hansa during her flashbacks, the annoyance and obligatory pity, as if she were a burden on how the rest of the house operated. The looks on their faces and the tones of their voices don’t differ from Bear’s right now.
“Are they a part of his therapeutic team?” Arm asks, scanning the packet, “I don’t see his treatment listed-”
“Khun Nu doesn’t get therapy,” Bear interrupts, “He isn’t in his right mind and used to be the heir until he was seventeen, so he knows things. He can’t be trusted not to say them. That’s why Khun Korn set up this training. It’s a compromise and having his guards trained in it has made the use of sedatives much less frequent.”
Looking back, that had set the tone of bitterness Arm secretly felt for years when it came to Khun Korn.
“He doesn’t even remember what he watched ten minutes earlier in the episode,” One groans as he gives Arm a quick rundown of what to expect before meeting his new boss, “I don’t understand why he wants to watch them over and over again. He’s nuts. I don’t see why Pete didn’t jump at the chance to leave him when Khun Korn offered him a different position. He loves going on missions with Kinn when he’s in. He’s good at it. But he’s still mainly working for Khun Nu, even though he had a choice to go elsewhere. All I can say is tough it out. Khun Nu is annoying, but the tasks expected of you are easy enough. I’m moving onto building security detail. You can probably get something like that if you keep up with his crap, but don’t engage enough for him to feel one way or the other about you.”
“Why do they call him Khun Nu?” Arm asks, “He’s an adult and the eldest, isn’t he?”
One shrugs his shoulders, “Technically? From what I heard, Khun Korn started calling him Khun Nu after he officially decided Khun Kinn would be the heir. He probably also called him that to make it clear to the bodyguards how they should treat him. It caught on. It sort of fits who Khun Nu is anyway. He doesn’t seem to mind.”
Another strike. Arm is a little more aware of it this time. If this is how Khun Korn treats his eldest son, who’s to say he will take Hansa’s treatment seriously enough to pay for it? Why does everyone respect this man so much when-
“One, where are the fish treats?! Elizabeth and Sebastian are hungry!”
A man in a colorful floral kimono over a set of silk pajamas stomps into the room, a pout firmly in place. He’s tall, good looking, and gives off an aura that is both innocent and vicious. Arm watches as the man scans the entire room with his eyes, checking every potential exit and blind spot before his eyes lock with Arm’s.
“Are you replacing One?” Tankhun asks, resigned, as if a new bodyguard being added to his team is just routine to him now.
“Ah, Khun Nu!” One says with obviously fake enthusiasm, “Just in time! Arm here is your new bodyguard. He’s very excited to be assigned to you.”
“Aren’t they all?” Tankhun smirks, seeming distant and sardonic before schooling his face into one of petulance and facing Arm, “Where are Elizabeth’s and Sebastian’s fish treats? You are the new One, so you must have them!”
Arm stands up, “I don’t have them. One was just about to show me where they are kept. Would you like to show me instead?”
Tankhun huffs, then glares at One, “Stupid general compound bodyguard, you didn’t even show New One where the fish food is kept. All you’ll be guarding is marble and concrete now, when you could be playing Mario Kart or Through The Ages: A Story Of Civilization with me. I bought hair dye for you! I made you soup myself when you were sick last month! Myself! Me!”
One nods his head, “And it was very delicious soup, Khun Nu. I really appreciated it.”
“Whatever,” Tankhun says, waving his hands, “You think you’re too old to play with me anymore, it’s fine. Thirty-Five in June. Kinn doesn’t know all of his bodyguards' birthdays, but I do. I know all of the employees’ birthdays. I’ll remember to forget to give you a present this time around though.”
Tankhun turns back to Arm and huffs, “Come on, New One. I’ll show you where the fish food is and then we’ll go outside and feed Elizabeth and Sebastian. And then I want to watch a drama. I’ll show you a good one. I’ve seen it over twenty times. I know you’ll like it. After it’s over, I’ll quiz you on it to make sure you were paying attention, okay?”
“Um…” Arm hesitates, but gets over the plans for his day when Tankhun gives him a sharp look once they’re out in the hallway alone, “Of course, Khun-”
“Go ahead and say Khun Nu,” Tankhun says as he walks away, “It’s better if I just tell you to, right?”
The words make Arm stop in his tracks as he looks at Tankhun, “Not if you don’t actually want me to.”
Tankhun copies Arm’s lack of movement and comes to a halt before turning around, “Excuse me?”
“It just sounded like you might not like being called that,” Arm says slowly, “I can call you Khun Tankhun, or whatever else you may prefer.”
Tankhun’s face shows a flicker of something else again. Arm isn’t even sure what it is, but it’s the third time he’s seen it in the span of five minutes and each time he does it, he feels like Tankhun becomes a completely different person before coming back to himself again.
“Khun Nu is fine,” Tankhun answers quietly, “There is no need for you to stick out just to try to feign respect for me. The bodyguards can be cliquey. People should make friends with their coworkers, shouldn’t they? Sticking out here will only hurt you, even if it’s over as something as silly as a name.”
Arm stares at Tankhun for a long moment until Tankhun’s whole persona changes again.
“Not that I would know anything about having coworkers!” Tankhun says, walking away again, “I can’t believe I have to do Old One’s job and show New One the fish food!”
Tankhun calls him New One for another three months, only stopping when Arm gets him Scythe and new sewing kit supplies for his birthday. Coincidentally, this was around the time he trusted having Arm in the room during his nightmares or darker periods. Both make Tankhun exhausted, but particularly fond of him and Pete, as well as demanding of their presence. The nightmares happen frequently, but with no set pattern, while the days where Ativan is needed are a little more predictable. Arm has noticed that Tankhun takes them after what Arm can only assume is some specific, short burst of mania. Tankhun will stay up for a couple of days on end, keeping both Arm and Pete on their feet to play games and watch dramas at any given time, then will burn out and shut himself away in his bedroom, yet blasts the radio until Pete breaks into the bedroom to turn it off. It is always a little upsetting to watch Tankhun withdraw into himself like that, but Arm witnesses a more serious episode six months into the job.
“We’re more concerned this time, Khun Nu,” Pete says, trying to catch Tankhun’s gaze, “We care about you and want you to feel better. You aren’t going to feel better if you don’t sleep. It’s been four days.”
Tankhun says nothing and Pete looks lost at that moment. So far, Arm has only seen Pete, Kim, and Kinn succeed at pulling Tankhun back to himself. The rotating guards that take turns assisting with Tankhun if there’s availability are no match. Pete isn’t a Tankhun whisperer by any means and admits as much, but Arm can see that Pete cares for him greatly, possibly even sees him as family.
“Just go, Pete,” Tankhun mumbles, his eyes looking at nothing, “Leave.”
Pete shakes his head, “I’m not going to…”
Trailing off, Pete looks down at Tankhun’s hands and quickly, forcefully, and methodically takes something out of it. Tankhun struggles initially, but lets go of what he was holding after Pete orders him to.
“You’re not hurting yourself,” Pete says as if he’s seething, “Where did you get this?”
“Fuck you,” Tankhun growls, causing Arm’s eyebrows to raise. He’s never heard Tankhun utter a curse word once.
Pete and Tankhun have a stare off, both of their masks dropped as they become two completely different people. Pete is too upset to put on a comforting smile when he finally acknowledges Arm’s presence again, but it becomes something more neutral.
Pete purses his lips, “He was holding a razor. I need to call the infirmary and search the suite-”
“NO!” Tankhun shouts, then points at himself, “It’s my decision to do whatever I want with that! I’m sick of everyone controlling me and making me do things I don’t want to do! Stop forcing me! Stop it stop it stop it!”
“Tankhun,” Pete says, his voice a dead calm, dropping all honorifics, “No one is making you do anything. We’re doing our jobs by keeping you safe.”
Tankhun lets out an unexpected cry, very unlike the ones over the wrong queen winning RuPaul’s Drag Race or Elizabeth swimming slightly crooked last Sunday. This cry is very real and raw, filled with a kind of pain and helplessness Arm is deeply familiar with. Before he’s even fully aware of it, he is sitting next to Tankhun.
“Go do what needs to be done,” Arm says quietly, only giving Pete a brief glance, “I’ll stay here with him.”
Pete looks conflicted as his eyes dart back and forth between him and Tankhun, “Arm, he can get dangerous when he’s like this. He has the training and knows how to fight. He hasn’t snuck anything back here in a while and when he does, it means things are bad-”
“QUIT TALKING ABOUT ME LIKE I’M NOT HERE!” Tankhun screams, getting up to storm towards Pete. Pete stands his ground and Tankhun stops right in front of him before collapsing to the floor.
“Get out,” Tankhun chokes out, then folds in on himself and brings his knees to his chest.
“It’s fine, Pete,” Arm says, coming over to sit across from Tankhun, “Go ahead. I’ll help him in here and you help him from out there.”
After Pete leaves the room, Arm is able to fully focus on Tankhun. His hair is disheveled and slightly greasy, his face is smeared with tears, and he’s been in the same robe for four days. If Kim hadn’t left for a summer program in California last month, he would likely be the one in here right now. Kim and Tankhun have a bond that runs deep, one that seems to make Kinn a third wheel when he isn’t off with Tawan. But even Kinn knows to show Tankhun love, understanding, and affection when he starts getting like this. Maybe that’s why this episode is the worst one Arm has witnessed - Kim and Kinn aren’t here and Tankhun needs his family’s support. Korn should have checked in on him by now. That is something Arm has yet to see from him.
Yet another strike.
“Can I see your arms?” Arm asks gently.
Tankhun only gives him one, the other suddenly noticeably covered, but Arm tries not to focus on that. If Tankhun were bleeding heavily, Arm would know by now. Maybe being checked for injuries isn’t what Tankhun needs anyway. Arm rolls up the sleeve to Tankhun’s robe and doesn’t see any scratches or cuts on the offered arm, but doesn’t let go.
“My sister likes this when she gets really upset,” Arm murmurs, applying pressure up and down Tankhun’s arm, “She’s gone through a lot and she’s so strong and brave, just like you.”
Tankhun sniffles and inches a little closer, holding out his wrist insistently when Arm briefly stops.
“How about a few more minutes of this and then I’ll find some new clothes for you to wear?” Arm asks, “It might help you feel a little better.”
“I need a bath first,” Tankhun says, his voice raspy, “I’ll take one after Pete forces Ativan down my throat. I hate Pete.”
“You adore Pete,” Arm snorts before he even realizes what he’s said. But when he looks up, Tankhun is looking at him thoughtfully and gives him a conceding nod.
“Okay, fine. But I don’t adore him right now,” Tankhun says stubbornly, then looks down at where Arm’s hands are on his wrist, “This is what your sister likes, hm? Is she as crazy as I am?”
Arm feels defensiveness curl in his gut like a reflex, but it isn’t as intense as it would normally be. He’s able to rationalize Tankhun’s words because he knows it isn’t an insult coming from Tankhun’s mouth.
“She was hurt by men who had no business touching her,” Arm says quietly, “All…All of us were, but she had it even worse.”
Tankhun looks at him with wide eyes and says nothing. Arm now understands Tankhun’s problems with silence as their eyes stay locked, so he clears his throat and looks away, “I’m sorry. I thought it may help if…nevermind.”
Tankhun shakes his head frantically, “Don’t apologize. I understand why…Do you…I can…”
Tankhun trails off, then slumps back down and shakes his wrist to prompt Arm again.
“You probably don’t want to talk about it,” Tankhun says, his voice so low that Arm strains to hear it, “I don’t like to either.”
Arm could lead by example and talk about what happened to him. It had been what he was planning to do, as brief and vague as he would have made it for both Tankhun’s and his own sanity. But the thing is, Tankhun is right.
“Can I run you a bath?” Arm asks quietly, rubbing Tankhun’s wrist soothingly, “I’ll put bubbles in AND run the jets.”
Tankhun actually lets out a tearful giggle at that, “That sounds like pure chaos. And here I thought you were going to suggest something soothing.”
“You don’t seem to like soothing very much,” Arm says, smiling a little.
Tankhun breathes in and looks down at Arm’s massaging hands again, “There are a few soothing things that I like. I like the spa when I don’t feel well. I like it when you and Pete dry my hair. And I like it when you do this.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Arm says, returning Tankhun’s soft gaze.
After Arm makes good on his offer by getting the bath ready (all while doing a sweep of the bathroom as the tub fills), he gives Tankhun some privacy to get in and situated before returning to sit on the closed toilet seat. Tankhun’s head is barely sticking out of the mountain of bubbles that have developed in the swirling, bubbling water, but he seems to be content with the barrier of soapy white around him and only makes occasional small chat until asking Arm if he would mind washing his hair. Arm isn’t sure if it’s Tankhun not wanting to show the marks that are likely on his left wrist or if it’s because he just needs someone to touch him he knows won’t hurt him. Arm doesn’t feel a need to question him and does it as gently as he can.
That’s when Pete returns, who looks confused by the sight but shakes it off and gives the Ativan to Tankhun, who opens his mouth and lifts his tongue without being told to do so, as if it’s the only way he knows how to extend an olive branch to Pete in that moment.
“How did you get him so calm?” Pete asks as they wait outside the bathroom door.
Arm shrugs, “I just sat with him, talked with him a little, gave him some deep pressure on his arms, as well as some things I’ve seen you do.”
“I’ve never calmed him down from an episode that fast,” Pete says, shaking his head.
“Yes, you-”
“No,” Pete interrupts, “Not one like that. Tankhun was showing signs of entering a severe crisis. I was preparing myself for it to get a lot worse in the last two days. You haven’t witnessed one of his more severe episodes. They turn ugly, but even more so heartbreaking. He…He’s hard to work for because of those. That’s why so many bodyguards transfer as soon as they’re able. They don’t know how to handle it and get frustrated. But you haven’t gotten frustrated with him once. I heard they brought you on to eventually work in tech security and figured you were just doing your time with him until Korn and Chan decided to re-assign you once you earned their trust.”
“I…” Arm starts, then shakes his head, “I like working with technology. It’s what I had planned to do before ending up here and I still want to do it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t find being here with you and Tankhun rewarding too.”
Pete rubs at his eyes tiredly and nods, “That’s good. I’m happy to hear that. He uh…He needs someone who actually wants to work for him, besides me. I think he sometimes thinks I don’t want to be here because I enjoy missions and get frustrated with some of the things we do with him, but it’s just me feeling pent up.”
“I heard that you prefer missions and that you turned an offer to do more field work down,” Arm says, studying Pete, “Is it because it’s safer to work here with Tankhun? I know that’s a big reason why I don’t want to do a mission unless it’s necessary-”
“I need to be here. I care about Tankhun too much to leave him and I like the missions so much that it scares me,” Pete says. Arm isn’t even sure what that means. He never gets a chance to ask. Tankhun comes out of the bathroom at that point, dressed in a new set of pajamas and silently hugs them both.
“It’s getting late,” Pete says, keeping his voice low as he carefully ends the hug and directs Tankhun to his bed, “Why don’t you try to lie down?”
“Are you both leaving?” Tankhun asks, sounding anxious, “Which night guard is assigned to me? I don’t know the new ones that well-”
“We can stay,” Arm says, wincing slightly when Pete gives him a look, “Or I can. But we can just have an easy night, watch a movie, and keep the TV on low while we sleep in sleeping bags on the floor.”
Pete lets out a breath, but then smiles and meets Tankhun’s eyes, “Does that sound like a good plan? I’ll stay too.”
Tankhun nods his head slowly, then looks more satisfied as they go into the living room together.