Work Text:
Thoughts
- July 1996
Claude was driving his car like usual, he was speeding up like usual. Many people envied him because he was never afraid of death. Imagine being that cold, like ice… He was not afraid of life, or death, he always tought that life happens wherever you are, wherever you’re ready or not, he faced that fact many years ago. He was never the lucky kid born under lucky star, he had a very hard childhood, an alcoholic father that was never home and awful mother. He was driving, he loved the sense of Liberty City and cold wind, he loved to think about life, he loved to think about everything deeply while enjoying his ride.
He remembered that day when he left his family house, if he can call that a family house, he remembered his house look. An middle aged house all in brown, dirty windows, wooden white door that were always dirty, his bike in yard, whitered flowers and many other things… He remembered his room, full of car posters, pictures and even a sport car magazines, he always loved cars and speed, he even remembered his room door all filled with pictures of many cars, he tried as much as he could to keep his room clean because he loved to enjoy every moment alone in his room…
As he drove he suddenly broke his thoughts and stepped his foot on a brake, it was a red light on pedestrian crossing and there was one little girl walking, she got scared and she ran away, Claude feeled a bit bad for scaring that little girl, but he continued to drive but this time he drove normaly, no speed limit cross for this night he thought…
As he drove his thoughts went deep again, he could hear his inner voice, what a strange thing he thought, he has not spoken in years but still there was his inner voice. That is the thing that Claude loved, he loved his voice and he keeped that only for himself, isn’t that a selfish thing ? - Claude thought, no, he answered himself, nobody deserved to hear his voice except him, that was his personal thing he thought… People can easly get scared when someone threatens them, someone can yell to scare you or act cold and have a deep and serious voice, but Claude doesn’t need that to scare someone, he loved when people were scared of him.
Claude loves the fact that he doesn’t have to say anything to scare someone, one deep and cold look is enough, he always liked to watch his enemies in the eyes, it was because they could see the depth of his rage, Niccolo Machiavelli once said “it is much safer to be feared than loved because ...love is preserved by the link of obligation which, owing to the baseness of men, is broken at every opportunity for their advantage; but fear preserves you by a dread of punishment which never fails.” Claude shared that thought too, he always thought that it is better do be feared than loved if you can’t do both.