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"Scar? Scar, what are you doing on the ground? And why are you biting your hand?"
Scar blinked open his eyes and looked up into the annoyed face of Grian. He sat up slowly, and let go of his hand.
He tried to hold Grian's gaze, but he quickly lowered his, staring at the floor. "I have nothing to say to you." He said, resentment boiling over into his voice.
Grian stared at him. "You know that hurts, right?" Scar let out a shaky laugh. "I could say the same to you." Grian froze slightly, before he visibly forced himself to look unbothered.
"I don't know what you're talking about." He said quickly. Scar stood up, and began to walk away. "Where are you going?" Grian called after him. Scar didn't turn around. He didn't slow down, either. He knew where he was going, and it was toward the pandas rather than his soulmate.
"SCAR!" Grian called, now angrily. Scar finally stopped in his tracks, but still refused to look his soulmate in the eye. "Scar, what's gotten into you?" Scar tensed up, preparing to make a biting remark, but bit his tongue at the last minute. "You won't talk about it. I now you won't." He said, slowly.
He turned, and saw Grian glaring at him. "Excuse me?" was the only response he reicieved. Scar returned his hostile look and turned fully to face him. "You must think I'm stupid. Maybe blind? And y'know, maybe it would have taken me a while otherwise. Because I am many things, Grian. But I am not numb."
Grian continued to look confused for a few seconds before realisation dawned.
"You felt it." He whispered. "Every bit." Scar felt tears pricking the corners of his eyes. "Well, I don't know how I'm gonna look Ren in the eye ever again." He said with a slight laugh. "Y'know Grian, I expected better from you. I thought you wouldn't do this. Maybe we wouldn't end up being friends, but I didn't expect you to betray me like that." Grian scowled at him. "Me? Betray you? I've built us a base and kept us alive! You've only cared about your stupid pandas!" Scar clenched his teeth. "Well I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know what I was doing, and you've made it readily clear that I'm a burden to you anyway!" Grian let out a growl. "Well if you're so insistent then, maybe!" Scar swallowed angrily. "What's that sudsed to mean exactly, Grian?" He was met with a scoff and an eye roll. "If you're so intent on just being a burden, maybe I'll just go with that!"
Scar scowled, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to form. "Well since loyalty was clearly LONG out the window, maybe I don't have as much of a problem with that as you'd think!" "Loyalty? You've been on with Pearl about the 'broken hearts club' or whatever you're supposed to be for quite a while here. YOU do not get to talk to me about loyalty. And don't pretend that without me here, you wouldn't just be running around trying to buy friends who never cared about you in the first place, even if you try to bribe them! You don't show an ounce of loyalty, so it's incredibly hypocritical to call me out over something you can't manage yourself." Scar opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again. He turned back around. "I would have followed earlier you if you bothered to TELL me that you realised we were Soulmates."
Grian laughed. "Liar. Or even if you believe what you're saying now, I don't believe you that you would have done it at the time. See, you're not exactly a reliable narrator most of the time Scar." Scar felt a surge of anger radiate through him before he whipped around to face Grian again. "Even if that were true -which I don't think it is- that doesn't give you the right to... To..." "To what, exactly?"
Scar bit his lip. "To cheat on me. That's essentially what you were doing, however you try to frame it. And you knew there was the risk of me being able to feel it. I can feel your pain, and you can feel mine. Don't try to tell me the though hadn't crossed your mind." "Well if you're so attached to the idea of this being anything more than keeping ourselves alive, then SURE I guess you could call it that. But since when do you get to control my intimate life? Me and BigB are both consenting adults-" "I DID NOT CONSENT, GRIAN." Scar yelled. Grian stood silent for a long minute before Scar continued."Maybe you didn't think that I would be able to tell. Maybe you thought 'yeah, sure this is fine, I say yes to this' but I did not. I wasn't THERE to say yes. I wasn't ASKED. I did not get a choice about that." Grian scoffed. "Well, I didn't know. And what do you expect me to do about it now?"
Scar chuckled slightly, as tears began to spill over his eyelashes. "I both love and hate the fact that apologising didn't even occur as a possibility to you." He said, trying to stop his voice from cracking. He didn't wait for a reply. He was out the door and well on his way to the panda sanctuary before he really processed what he was doing. And then the gate was clicking into place behind him, and a Jelly panda was nosing at his arm. He slowly stroked her head, a smile slowly starting to return to his face. His body ached from the overload of the unwanted pleasure, and this reassuring pressure was a comforting anchor. He slowly sat down, the panda placing her head in his lap as he continued to stroke it.
He wasn't sure exactly when he fell asleep, but it was far too late at night for any real rest. Not that he would have felt okay in the morning anyway. His chest hurt in a way he couldn't explain, and now his eyes stung.