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It was a soothing cloudy night, but nonetheless, still, Somehow the moon shined as bright despite clouds hovering over it, covering it in an oddly comforting sense. At least to Chishiya.
Chishiya averted his gaze and started walking down a deserted alleyway while stuffing his hands in his pockets. He was clever, yes, but he would definitely be slaughtered by the king of spades if he wasn’t careful. He found himself thinking it’d be better to die in a card game than advance just to die in the hands of the kind of spades.
As Chishiya made it further through the ally way, he found himself gaining interest as he saw bright lights that outshined the moon, almost similar to the beach. If he had heard moaning, It may have even fooled him, or maybe the fact that when he got closer it was a ghetto-looking motel with a glass roof along with many windows.
Chishiya didn’t hesitate to enter the motel, it had a slightly muted yellow color for walls, and the floor was a dark shade of wood. All the observing came to a pause when he noticed a pair of stairs leading to another floor. Usually he’d be more cautious before doing stuff such as this, but he couldn’t find the motivation to do so.
His body starts leaning towards the stairs Curiosity almost takes over him, forgetting the situation he’s in completely. He starts walking towards the stairs, hearing every little creak from the floorboards as he calmly makes his way to the stairs.
As he made his way up the stairs he took his hands out of his white jacket and started looking around, he didn’t see anything interesting except the fact you could see the night sky perfectly with the glass roof. Chishiya hummed in appreciation of the sight taking a moment to look at the sight. Chishiya was about to walk back down, deeming this a waste of time, until something grabbed his attention, not too long after, followed by an amused smirk. What he saw was a small rustic table with exactly four phones, and on the right of the table was an identical table that looked like it had four collars settling on it. Each collar had a different number, one, two, three, and four.
Before Chishiya could react, he heard the floor creaking along with soft footsteps following not too far behind. Chishiya turned slowly in the direction of the stairs as he put his hands in his pockets once again. His breath hitched slightly, of course, he covered it up with a facade rather quickly.
The boy standing in front of him. He knew him but at the same time, he didn’t know anything about the boy standing right in front of him. It was no mistake, it was Arisu. They stared at each other in comfortable silence. One of them was smirking practically resembling a cat as the other stared Slightly shell-shocked. However, The peaceful silence was interrupted by an uncomfortably familiar voice.
“Registration closed. Players: Two.”
Chishiya turned, averting his gaze to the phones, and picked one up. Arisu inhaled air sharply and follows shortly after, walking over to the tiny rustic table and picking up a phone slowly.
Arisu finally decides to break the silence.
“Chishiya,” Arisu said his name almost as if it were a curse word. Followed by Arisu biting the inside of his cheek soon after.
Chishiya hummed in response turning on the phone and closely looking at the phone screen as if he was patiently waiting for something to happen.
Arisu looked at the shorter man for a few seconds before Chishiya decided it was his turn to interrupt the silence.
“Why are you here? It’s unusual to see you somewhere, alone that is.” He said rather smoothly.
“My visa ends today, the rest have a few more days.”He mumbled slightly. He turned his gaze to the phone.
“I knew you’d survive, at least this long,” Chishiya said rather bluntly. Arisu was about to respond before a voice chimed in.
“Game: Faith. Difficulty level: Four of Hearts. Time limit: 20 minutes.”
Arisu looked at the screen as if he was missing something. “No..” His voice trailed off, once sounding so confident to know a mix of concern and confusion.
Chishiya raised an eyebrow lightly, he didn’t expect it, but he couldn’t say he was surprised. Usually, Chishiya would be highly amused, but something felt, off.
“ To clear the game, Players must spill an unknown amount of secrets about themself until a certain amount of secrets have been told. If a player lies, they lose. If neither player lies within the time limit both players lose. Only one player will survive.”
And there it was, exactly why his gut wasn’t feeling too pleasant. Chishiya didn’t like this sinking feeling, he diffidently didn’t want to know this feeling too well. The game itself didn’t seem to appeal him.
It's official. Heart games are atrocious.
Arisu’s eyes widen in horror as he read the text fast but slows down near “Only one player will survive.” Arisu was starting to panic, he couldn’t do this again, not again.
Then a oh-so-familiar voice spoke up.
“Rules: 1. It is required for players to keep their collars on during the game. 2. Players must take turns saying said secret in number order.”
Chishiya then turns off the phone and stuffs it into his pocket as his free hand grabs the “Number one,”collar and puts it on. He almost laughed at how he’s been in so many card games that involved “collars” and “death”. Seems like the Bambi-eyed boy felt the same way as he was stared at the collars with caution.
Arisu then grabs the “Number 2,” collar with his free hand and puts it on. Still panicking about the game itself and how it brings up memories of a certain hearts game he’d rather not think about.
Before Arisu could get a word in, a rustic clocks to the top left started ticking down. Great two clocks counting down.
Arisu wasn’t sure what to feel. There were just too many things going on at once, he couldn’t comprehend it. For example, how he finally saw Chishiya after so long, or how the game they’d have to participate in was a hearts game. On top of that, only one could survive, or maybe what made him panic the most was the fact he had seen Chota and Karube standing with blood on their clothes in the corner of a room with the clock perfectly on top of them. His train of thought was interrupted rudely, reminding him that they were being timed.
“19 minutes remain”
Chishiya was unamused, he would have to spill secrets about himself, leaving him vulnerable. He definitely wasn’t amused by this simple heart game.
However, it’s not like he had any free will here, he was forced to participate, even if he thought this heart game was atrocious.
Chishiya hummed looking at the dark blue sky which was currently covered by clouds, the moon still shining brighter than his will to live ever will.
Chishiya pulled down his white hood and stuffed his hands into his pockets once more, Still looking up at the glass roof, not wanting to make eye contact.
Arisu still held his gaze, looking at Karube and Choto, Karube lighting a cigarette as Choto waved with a bloody smile.
”I was practicing medicine at the time as a medical student, I was a surgical intern before ending up here,” Chishiya said calmly, but bluntly at the same time. Still, with his same demeanor.
Arise shifted his head to the blonde who was looking at the sky in satisfaction. Arisu didn’t expect him to be a medical student, a surgical intern? He didn’t know what to expect from Chishiya but a medical student was something he would have never guessed.
Arisu wasn’t somebody to keep secrets, in reality, he didn’t have many secrets, that were the truth. However, it’s his turn to tell a secret. It wasn’t a big deal, buts it’s something he’s not told to many, at least to someone alive.
“I was unemployed before getting here,”
Chishiya had a hunch. It was never really confirmed. shortly after that, he murmured something that Chishiya almost didn’t catch.
“All I’d do was sit around in my room all day, playing video games” his voice trailed off for a moment. “Playing video games,” he said in a whisper.
While Arisu was speaking, he was thinking of a way to get out of this, but every possibility was a dead end, it frightened him.
Chishiya didn’t respond, but it does make sense, Arisu was strategic, but he also was naive, something that would get him killed in a place like this.
Chishiya, of course, had a fair share of secrets that didn’t t matter to him so he was just going to be straightforward.
Unfortunately for him, He wouldn’t t keep this
“straightforward” act for too long.
“14 minutes remain”
Oh, he didn’t forget they were being timed, he forgot that only one player will make it out unharmed.
“One of my reasons for studying medicine as a surgical intern is to see if I cared for human life, I wanted to see if saving lives could give me some kind of interest in life,” Chishiya said smoothly as if he were talking about the weather. Still looking at the sky.
Arisu didn’t know what to think, part of him was still panicking, and had so many questions to ask Chishiya. He slowly turned his head back to a bloody Karube and Choto both smiling at him in a joking manner. It almost made him think they were real.
Arisu didn’t know how to react. He also didn’t know to say, he was overwhelmed. He just said something out loud. “I killed my friends in a seven of hearts game, they sacrificed themselves.” Arius's said abruptly. His eyes started to get glossy as memories slowly started coming back to him, he looked down at the floor, clenching his fists.
Chishiya's gaze soften as the word “killed” came up, he almost wanted to comfort that taller male beside him, but then he remembered he was horrible at comforting now.
“Killed? If I had to assume, they willingly died for you, based on the word sacrificed” Chishiya paused before lowering his voice. “Survivors' guilt is common, more common than you may think, but in a place like this-” He had got cut off.
“12 minutes remain”
Chishiya narrowed his eyes at the cut-off. He had no clue how this would go, he hadn’t had enough energy to care. Chishiya wasn’t good at comforting so, he tried to change the subject with his so called “secret” He then closed his eyes before saying a “secret”
What Chishiya didn’t anticipate was his mouth betraying him.
“I regret betraying you at the beach.” He was straightforward but not in the way he had hoped. Chishiya didn’t mean to say that out loud, he never thought he would ever tell the Bambi-eyed boy about that. It was out of character but, Chishiya couldn’t help but feel relieved. As if he wanted to tell him that. It was an odd feeling, but Chishiya wasn’t bothered at all by it.
Arisu was still staring at the floor, he couldn’t help as his vision getting blurry. He was not going to let Chishiya see him like this. Arisu was surprised when he heard Chishiya's words, he almost couldn’t
believe it. He thought he was going delusional, he was definitely going delusional. Heart games didn’t just play with your heart, they play with your mind as well.
“10 minutes remain”
Arisu’s mind was running wild, the clock constantly ticking reminding him of the timer going down at a rapid speed was not helping.
With half of the time left Arisu suddenly blurted out something. “I killed Tatta! He died by helping me in a club game!” He yelled, luckily not loud enough for anybody outside to hear.
There it was, the slight sobs coming from the taller male, from what Chishiya could tell he was looking down at his feet, hands curled in a ball. Chishiya had no clue why his chest started to throb at the sounds of the other males small sobs but he didn’t like it. He felt the need to comfort the man from his guilt, he just didn’t know how, or why he was feeling this way. How could he be so clueless, he doesn’t know.
Chishiya felt mentally exhausted but still was
Participating in a hearts game. So in the desperate feeling of distracting the Bambi-eyes boy, he kept the game going with another “secret”
“My reason for studying medicine as a surgical intern was because of lacking parental love, so I decided to follow in my father's footsteps in studying medicine, looking for some kind of love from my parents.” Chishiya stiffened a little, he’s never told anybody about this. He felt so vulnerable, he hated it. However, he felt that telling the Bambi-eyed boy was the right thing to do. Chishiya couldn’t believe this but, he felt confused. He was looking up at the sky, as if he was looking for answers.
Arisu’s sobs could be heard louder at that very moment. Chishiya then said something, he was tired of hearing the boy's sobs, it made him feel at fault.
“You need to forgive yourself for these ‘past mistakes,’ that’s the first step.” Chishiya paused before saying something else. “Everyone wouldn’t be too happy seeing you take the blame for their deaths.” Chishiya saw the taller boy's hands finally relax as a response. The sobs slowly going quiet.
Arisu’s glossy eyes slowly opened, he didn’t know how to feel, he didn’t like the idea of telling somebody about his feelings, and he didn’t mind it all too much he found himself wondering why.
“I came from a prestigious family, they often felt ashamed of me for being unemployed. I didn’t try to fix this problem because of mental health issues that they failed to notice.” This shouldn’t be a “secret” but Arisu hasn’t told many about his life at home.
It looked like Chishiya was about to respond but got interrupted.
“5 minutes remain”
Arisu had forgotten about them being timed, and he didn’t t know what to do, he tried to think but he couldn’t, something was bothering him.
Chishiya felt something he’s never experienced before, this feeling was strange. His heart sank. He felt like he was sinking under pressure. The boy that were once calm and couldn’t care less were, panicking? He couldn’t help but feel the tightening in his chest get worse. He couldn’t tell if he was letting his emotions show through his unamused mask. He then proceeded to blurt something out in a panic.
“I let a kid die because..” Chishiya's voice was shaking as it trailed off, he couldn’t finish his sentence. He shifted his head in front of him, staring at the wall. He couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact with Arisu. “Because someone that was more wealthy needed assistance.” Somehow, the game saw that as a secret, maybe it was the fact he secretly felt guilt.
Chishiya's hands were shaking as he realized what he blurted out. Soon after he felt something wet on his Cheek, he touched it to find out it was a tear.
“You carry guilt with you, don’t you Chishiya?”
“W - What” He said abruptly, catching himself stumbling on his words. He had lost his composure, his nonchalant mask was broken, it could only be broken by the boy beside him.
Arisu who was once sobbing and looking at the floor was now keeping his gaze on the cat-like male beside him. then Arisu broke the moment of silence.
“You need to forgive yourself, that’s the first step, right?” Arisu said calmly with glossy eyes.
Chishiya started choking before he could even get any words out, his eyes slightly wide. He was in shock. Denial. He couldn’t calm down, everything in his brain told him to quickly recover from shock but, he couldn’t. He let his feelings get the best of him. Chishiya didn’t see this coming, he didn’t expect him to falter on his words such as he did, he never imagine telling anybody about his problems. He never open up to anybody before it was all so new. He never let anybody to see him this vulnerable. He never showed his true emotions to anyone. Then, the realization hit him. The feelings he felt, he finally understood why he felt this way, who made him feel this way.
“3 minutes remaining”
Arisu’s eyes widen in shock and horror, he didn’t
know what to do, he was at a loss.
“No...no, no, no.. this isn’t real… this isn't happening.” He started to feel a lump in his throat.
Chishiya finally understood. He recollected himself, and he then cleared his throat.
“You know,” Chishiya’s voice trailed as he stared in front of him. I always hated selfless people, who tried hard in life. I guess… I was just jealous they had something I didn’t.” Chishiya said calmly.
“I was always afraid,” Chishiya said taking his hands out of his pockets.
“I get it,” Arisu responded quickly but quietly. Still panicking at the clock as it kept ticking.
“I knew you would.” Chishiya paused as he looked up at the cloudy midnight sky.
“Arisu, what’s something you haven’t told too many people?” Chishiya said smoothly with a light string of curiosity. Still looking at the dark sky.
“I.. My Father always favored my brother over me, he’s always made it clear that my brother was more successful than me, or he’d compare how me to him. Saying how much better he was than me.” Arisu said in a hurtful tone, almost mumbling what he said.
“1 minute remaining”
The clock ticking reminded him of what he just did. He was too overwhelmed to notice. Before Arisu knew it he was shaking. He’d been tricked, again.
Arisu looked over at Chishiya staring at the shorter male in a shocked state.
Chishiya finally, for the first time since the game started, made eye contact with Arisu.
Arisu saw Chishiya smiling, a genuine smile for the first time, it’d also be the last.
“30 seconds remain”
Chishiya’s voice broke the silence
“I never loved you, at all.”
“Game cleared. congratulations.”