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game night, bitches!

Summary:

The Marauders are a tightly knit group - but could a game night make or break their friendship?

or: a one-shot of the Marauder's era characters having a Game Night, with Wolfstar, Dorlene, Jegulus, Emmary, Pandalily, Ratbones and Rosekiller

Notes:

I know for a fact that the Marauders would go wilddd on a game night, so here it is! Also, speaking from personal experience; monopoly can absolutely destroy friendships, so... have fun...

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July 8th was a special day in more ways than one.

Firstly, it was Peter Pettigrew’s birthday, and as with all the Marauders birthdays, it was regarded as a National Holiday. Unfortunately, it fell during the summer, so they couldn’t sing obnoxiously at breakfast and throw wild parties in Gryffindor tower.

However, they found other ways to celebrate, and this led to the second special event of July 8th - the annual Marauders game night.

It was the origin of many inside jokes, special bonding, and many wild occurrences that were bound to take place when you put a crowd of Gryffindors in a small space. And the highly anticipated date was fast approaching.

“Are you bitches ready to get your arses beat next week?” Marlene crowed as she swung herself into a seat in the designated Marauders compartment on the Hogwarts Express.

“Please,” Sirius scoffed. “I have no plans to lose, especially to you, McKinnon.”

“Wow, Black, homophobic much?”

Sirius spluttered loudly. “I literally have a boyfriend?”

Marlene sniffed. “Yeah… My condolences, Remus.”

Remus snorted from his seat by the window, head buried in a book.

“Anyway,” she continued. “Do you have the list yet, Petey?”

Peter tutted loudly. “Now now, Marley. Everyone knows that the list stays secret until next week. We can’t have anyone having an unfair advantage by knowing the games that will be played.”

“It’s not like I would practise the games-”

“Yes, you would,” came a chorus of voices, and Marlene groaned.

“I hate you all.”

“Don’t worry,” Sirius told her comfortingly. “You’ll hate us even more next week.”

Marlene flipped him off, and flounced out of the compartment dramatically, slamming the door behind her.

Sirius waited until her footsteps had faded away, then turned to Peter.

“So, Wormtail, what games are on the list?”

Peter gaped at him. “I literally just told Marlene I wouldn’t tell her?”

“Yeah, but I’m me,” Sirius said impatiently, as if this was all the incentive Peter needed.

“Absolutely not. Wait until Saturday.”

“But, Bird-food-”

“Call me Bird-food one more time and you won’t be alive to read the list.”

Sirius sniggered, and Peter raised his head haughtily. “I am a rat, not a common field mouse. I will not be attacked like this!”

“Yeah, you tell him, Pete,” Remus said supportively. “At least you're not a bitch like Sirius.”

Sirius turned to him in outrage. “Excuse me? Firstly, I am not a bitch, and I think Moony would be very displeased to hear you refer to Padfoot like that.”

Remus sighed. “Sirius, for the last time-”

“Nope,” Sirius interrupted. “Moony adores Padfoot. I won’t have you slander their friendship like this.”

“It’s true,” Peter supplied, munching on a chocolate frog. “Padfoot is your favourite on full moons.”

“I told you!” Sirius raised his head triumphantly, leaning over to press his mouth to Remus.

Peter shrieked, leaning away from them. “Gross! Gross! Stop it!”

The compartment door banged open and James appeared, glasses slightly crooked. “Guys, what- Agh! No! My eyes!”

He threw a hand over his face dramatically, and stumbled into the seat next to Peter. Sirius broke away from Remus and looked up with a scowl.

“Fuck off, both of you.”

“I’m scarred for life,” Peter groaned into the seat, and Sirius slapped him on the back of his head.

“You’re fucking hypocrites as well,” Remus chimed in. “Peter, we have to deal with you and Edgar practically every day, and James, we didn’t complain when you were all over Lily.”

“Yes, you did,” James pointed out. “A lot, actually.”

“That’s not the point,” Sirius said dismissively. “But moving on- Prongs, Petey boy here won’t show us the list.”

“I’m not bloody surprised,” James grumbled, reaching over to snag one of Peter’s chocolate frogs. “He’s been working on that list for days.”

“Yeah, I’ve got some real bangers that will make you all hate each other,” Peter said cheerfully.

Sirius pressed a hand to his heart wistfully. “Peter Pettigrew, ruining friendships since 1971.”

“I’m going to take that as a compliment,” Peter said, “But I’ve made some changes this year. There’s going to be a few more people than usual.”

Sirius winced. “Yeah, sorry about that. Reggie refused to come unless he could bring his friends. Stupid prick.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Peter chuckled. “I actually like that group a lot.”

“What?” James said, faking shock. “You have friends other than us?”

Peter threw a fizzing whizbee at him. “Yes, Potter, I do. Plus, I’m sure Marlene will be happy that Regulus is bringing his friends.”

“What? Why?” Sirius demanded, and Peter mimed zipping his lips shut.

“Tell us,” James practically begged, and Remus snorted.

Sirius whirled on him. “You know too?”

His boyfriend sighed. “Yes, Padfoot. It’s very obvious. Only two morons like you could miss it.”

Sirius ignored the insult, practically climbing into Remus’ lap in an attempt to get closer to him. “Please tell me. Moony, Moonshine, Moonbeam, Mooncheese, New moon, Moony my love, Massive celestial rock-”

Remus stared at him, offended, while Peter and James wheezed with laughter. “Massive celestial rock? What the actual fuck?”

“I ran out of nicknames,” Sirius mumbled. “Please tell me?”

Remus kissed his forehead, and James and Peter mimed throwing up. “You’ll find out on Saturday.”

Sirius continued pestering the rest of them regardless, and the countryside flashed past as the train carried them further away from Hogwarts.

 

The game night was to be held at the Potter Mansion. Peter usually hosted, but this year his twin sister Ellie had claimed it for her sleepover.

“Honestly, it’s bad enough that she’s turned my room into some sort of art studio,” he complained loudly. “But now she’s stealing my birthday too?”

“I mean, it is her birthday as well, Wormy,” James said, straining under the weight of the table he was trying to move. “Give me a hand with this, would you?”

Peter complied, still ranting about his sister. “You know, I bet this is some sort of conspiracy to drive me out of the house completely. Next thing I know, I’ll be sleeping outside with the guinea pigs. I fucking hate those guinea pigs.”

James laughed, almost dropping the table on his foot. “Well, at least we have more space here. It would’ve been a bit crowded with everyone at yours.”

Peter let go of his side of the table, pressing his hand to his chest in mock offence. “Are you calling me poor, Potter?”

James almost dropped the table again. “What- no! No, of course not! I just meant-”

“Relax, Prongs, I know what you meant. You're just filthy rich. And this way, I can expand the scale of some of the games…” He grinned wickedly to himself and strutted off, leaving James to move the table by himself.

Effie and Monty had been extremely supportive of the event, letting them have the house to themselves for a whole night.

“Be responsible, kids!” Effie had called over her shoulder as she left James, Sirius, Remus and Peter to set up.

“Yes, be responsible!” Monty had echoed, but stopped to whisper to the boys before he left, “If there is nothing broken when I get back, I consider this night a failure. Be troublemakers, and be them proudly, sons.”

Sirius had saluted him, and the others followed suit. “Yes, sir!”

Now they were in the process of setting up one of the huge living rooms to serve as their game night headquarters. Beds were made up for anyone who wanted to stay the night (it would probably be most of them) and Peter was setting up the games.

Marlene arrived early, just as they were finishing laying out the food.

“Damn, Potter, your house is huge!” she exclaimed, admiring the surroundings.

James shrugged. “What can I say, McKinnon. It was built for nights like these.”

“Right…” Marlene said, eyeing the plush sofas and expensive vases. “Well, where’s Pete?”

“At your service,” Peter called, bustling into the living room.

“Petey!” Marlene bellowed, lunging at Peter. “Happy birthday, wanker!”

Peter looked resigned as Marlene tackled him onto the sofa. When she let him go, he stared at her suspiciously.

“Why do you look so happy?”

“Oh, no reason,” Marlene said airily. “But on an unrelated note, Peter, you’re lucky I’m here. Ellie’s sleepover looked mighty tempting-”

“You traitor!” Peter yelled. “I knew it! I knew she’d invited you!”

“What can I say, Peteykins,” Marlene said loftily. “Maybe she’s my favourite twin.”

Peter glowered at her, but the corner of his mouth was twitching. “Well, maybe I’ll target you in tonight's games. I am the gamemaster, after all-”

Marlene suddenly looked panicked. “No, please, I need to win-”

“Why, so you can impress a certain someone?” Peter teased, and Marlene glared in outrage.

“I swore you to secrecy!”

“You were invited to my sister's birthday party! On my birthday!”

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

They eyed each other warily, and Peter sighed. “Truce?”

“Truce, Marlene agreed, and they shook hands.

“Who are you trying to impress?” James asked interestedly, and Marlene turned red.

“None of your business, Potter,” she said. “Now, I’m going to claim my room, and definitely not nose around your house.”

James watched her go, looked at Peter, and laughed helplessly at the expression on his face.

 

Mary and Lily were the next to arrive, as they lived in the same town.

“I have a great feeling about tonight,” sighed Mary as she took in the set up.

They had rearranged the furniture so that everything was facing the wide, flat coffee table, and the food was laid out in the kitchen. There were huge bowls of crisps with little dips to go with them, large plates of nachos, every drink under the sun, and of course the usual selection of chocolate and sweets.

“Welcome to the Game Night of 1977,” Peter said, proudly gesturing to the room. “Now, please place your wands in here.”

He held out a box, in which the rest of their wands already lay. Mary eyed it cautiously. “Why?”

“Because of numerous cheaters in the past,” Peter said, glaring pointedly at Sirius, who looked unashamed. “It’s just a precautionary measure. No confundus charms or levitating spells under my watch.”

Mary and Lily placed their wands in the box as the doorbell rang again.

“Oh, good, that will be Edgar and Emmeline,” Peter said brightly, running to open the door.

Mary stared curiously as it swung open to reveal Peter’s boyfriend, and what must be his friend Emmeline.

She was very pretty, Mary couldn’t help but notice, with long, straight black hair and delicate features.

Peter and Edgar were making out before they took two steps inside, and Emmeline rolled her eyes and pushed past them. Her eyes landed on Mary, and she fought very hard not to go bright red.

“Hi, I’m Emmeline,” she said, her tone friendly.

A moment passed, and Mary coughed quickly. “I’m Mary.”

“I think I’ve seen you around school,” Emmeline said, “But it’s nice to meet you properly.”

“Same here,” Mary said, smiling, and Emmeline grinned back before heading further into the house, nodding at Lily who was going the opposite way.

Lily reached Mary, and smirked at her expression. “See something you like, Macdonald?”

“Hot,” Mary managed. “She’s so hot.”

“Yes, she is quite pretty,” Lily mused.

“Careful, don’t let Pandora hear you saying that.”

Lily tilted her head thoughtfully. “Mmm, I think Pandora would agree.”

Mary chuckled, and they headed to join the others in the living room.

 

The next time the doorbell rang, it was a much larger group.

Peter was very much occupied with his boyfriend, so James and Sirius hauled themselves up to go and answer the door.

“Reggie!” Sirius exclaimed. “Finally!”

Regulus stood on the doorstep, accompanied by two Slytherins that James didn’t know, Lily’s girlfriend Pandora, and the Slytherin chaser Dorcas Meadowes. Quite an odd group, but who was he to judge?

Regulus checked his watch, and James’ eyes lingered on his slender wrist. “We’re right on time, Sirius.”

His brother shrugged. “Yeah, but everyone else is already here.”

They stepped back to let them in, and James rattled the wand box at them cheerily. “Wands in here, please.”

Regulus stared at him. “What? No.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll get it back,” Sirius sighed, closing the door behind them. “Peter’s just being paranoid. He thinks we will cheat.”

“No, he thinks you will cheat,” James pointed out, and Regulus laughed softly. James felt a thrill of pleasure, one that could only come from making Regulus Black laugh.

“Fine,” he relented, and one by one they placed their wands in the box.

“Right this way!” James led them all into the living room, where everyone else was already talking merrily.

Peter looked up when they entered. “Yes! Everyone’s here! We can start now.”

Everyone took a seat around the table, and Peter stood on a chair, clearing his throat loudly until people fell silent.

“Welcome, everyone, to our annual game night,” he began, and Sirius let out a loud wolf whistle.

“This year, we have a few more people joining us,” he gestured to the group of Slytherins. “So I’ve had to make a few changes to the running order.”

Peter hopped off the chair, walking over to where a sheet was draped over a large object. He pulled it off with a flourish, revealing a massive whiteboard.

“This year’s twist is that all the board games are muggle board games!”

“Do wizards even make board games?” James asked, confused, and Peter sighed.

“No, James, but you just ruined my dramatic reveal.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

Peter stood back on the chair, looking mildly annoyed. “Anyway, here is the list of games we will be playing.”

He waved his wand, which he had somehow kept hold of, and the long-anticipated list was finally revealed. It read:

Twister
Scrabble
Wink Murderer
Pictionary
Monopoly

There were cheers and applause for the list, and then whispered mutterings as people started plotting how they were going to win each one.

“Right, so those are the games,” Peter said, grunting as he flipped the board over. “Now, how it will work is that for each game that you win, or do well in, you get a point. Whoever has the most points at the end of the night wins.”

“Wins what?” Marlene called out. “What’s the prize?”

Peter wagged a finger at her. “Uh uh. You have to wait and see. Now, our first game is twister! If you will all follow me…”

They filed out after him onto the expansive back porch, where Peter had painted four rows of different coloured circles on the ground.

James gaped at him. “You painted my porch? Wormtail!”

Peter shrugged. “The mat wasn’t big enough for all of us. I asked Monty, he said I could.”

James grumbled something about the defacement of property, but assumed a spot on the twister ‘mat’.

“Now, while I am the gamemaster,” Peter yelled as everyone found a spot. “I will still be participating in the games, because otherwise it would be fucking boring. So, if someone would volunteer to be the spinner…”

Pandora said that she would do it, and happily sat against the screen windows as they all stared expectantly up at her.

She spun the pointer, and called out, “Right foot green!”

James dutifully moved his right foot to a green circle.

“Left hand blue! Right hand yellow! Right foot blue! Left foot red!”

She kept calling out instructions as they all stretched out on the mat, trying desperately not to let their limbs touch the floor.

Barty was the first one out, having misjudged a position and fallen on his ass. Evan was laughing so hysterically that he, too, lost his balance and fell to the floor.

“Two people out!” Pandora called gleefully. “Now, let’s see… right foot yellow!”

James found himself close to Regulus as Pandora kept calling out instructions. “Struggling, Black?” he grinned, and Regulus scoffed.

“Please. I could do this in my sleep.”

“Left foot green!” Pandora called, and both James and Regulus looked down. There was only one free green spot near them.

Regulus beat him there by a millisecond, slamming his foot down as James flapped his arms to keep his balance.

“You look ridiculous, Potter,” Regulus sighed, and James grinned.

“It’s working, though, I’m not out.”

“Yet.”

James scanned the nearby area. The closest green was on the other side of Regulus. He leaned around the other boy, only just managing to keep his balance, and gingerly placed his foot on the painted circle.

“Right hand yellow!” was the next call, and again, Regulus took the one directly next to James.

“That was so unnecessary,” James grumbled. “There’s one right there! You didn’t have to take mine.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow. “But then you wouldn’t be out.”

Helplessly, James felt himself grin. “Oh, it’s like that, is it?”

He bent over, practically draping himself over Regulus in his effort to reach the yellow circle.

“Left hand red!”

This time, James had to reach under Regulus to place his hand on the red circle. They were well and truly twisted now.

Nearby, Remus had lost his patience with Sirius, who was whispering filthy things into his ear in an effort to distract him.

Remus nudged him sideways as he reached for the red, causing him to lose his balance and stumble off the mat.

“Oops,” he said innocently, and Sirius gestured to him furiously.

“He pushed me! Come on, that’s not allowed! I’m still in!”

“Mmm, no,” Pandora pursed her lips. “You’re off the mat, you’re out.”

Remus looked smug, but Pandora wasn’t done. “You’re out too, Lupin. Cheaters aren’t winners.”

Remus sighed, and reluctantly stepped off, flipping off Sirius when he opened his mouth, no doubt about to ramble pettily about karma and all that shit.

“Left hand blue!” Pandora called, and Regulus twisted his body in a shocking display of flexibility, and now he was almost directly on top of James.

His black curls tickled James’ face, and their noses were only inches apart. Regulus’ face was gently flushed with exertion, and James thought he had never looked more beautiful.

“Uh, what the actual fuck?” Sirius's voice came from nearby. “Get off my brother, Potter.”

“Actually, he’s the one on me,” James said automatically, and then winced as steam practically exploded out of his best friend’s ears.

“How did this even happen? Oi, Pandora- Hey! Pandora’s not even spinning! She's just calling random places!”

Pandora’s mischievous chuckle rang in James’ ears as he stared up at Regulus. There was something glittering in the other boy’s eyes, and James wanted to kiss him.

“Okay, I think that’s enough Twister,” Peter’s hasty voice came from above them. “Anyone who’s still in gets a point."

Regulus stood, smoothing his clothes, and walked away without another word. James watched him go mournfully before turning on Peter.

“Wormtail? What was that for?”

“Mate, I think you better stop the pining before Sirius commits homicide,” Peter whispered, helping him up. Then, in a louder voice, he yelled, “Who wants to play Scrabble?”

 

The game of scrabble was predictably chaotic. Lily watched from the sidelines, as she had been banned from playing.

“If we let you play, you’ll win,” Peter had declared. “So you get an automatic point. Now you have to let the rest of us have a chance.”

In truth, Lily was more than happy just to watch. Pandora sat with her, a twinkle still in her eyes from the twister game.

Lily didn’t know what that was about, but she would’ve had to be blind to have missed all the eye-fucking that James and Regulus were doing. She suspected Pandora knew something - all those moves had definitely been deliberate, and she had heard Pandora whisper “You’re welcome” to Regulus as he passed by her.

Right then, the scrabble game was currently down to four players. Peter had changed the rules to make it some kind of speed-scrabble, where you had a time limit and it had to be a word of five letters or more.

Peter, Mary, Edgar, Evan and James had given up and been booted from the game. Sirius and Marlene had tried to argue, but their made-up words had not kept them in. Barty had only been putting down swear words, and had made it an impressively long time with his expansive vocabulary, but had finally run out of ideas.

Remus, Regulus, Emmeline and Dorcas were still in. Remus and Regulus were putting down the longest-ass words known to man, and everyone else was fed up with them. Emmeline had proved herself a surprising whiz at Scrabble, and Lily could see Mary drooling from here.

She thought Dorcas was still in by sheer determination, and was honestly impressed.

Eventually, Regulus won, only narrowly avoiding losing to Emmeline. Remus had gotten distracted by his boyfriend’s antics, and failed to think of a word in time. Dorcas was in a similar situation, but with a certain blonde beater currently chugging beer with Sirius.

“Okay, let’s take a break,” Peter said finally. “There’s plenty of food, everyone! Dig in!”

They had a very enjoyable meal, munching on the nachos and crisps, with alcohol in plentiful supply.

Lily found herself talking to Edgar and Emmeline, who were actually extremely nice.

“So, me and Pete started dating about a year ago now,” Edgar said, blowing a kiss to his boyfriend when he looked up. “And me and Emmeline have been friends since second year.”

“He tried so hard to be cool,” Emmeline said affectionately. “But I saw him for the real geek he is.”

“Oi!” Edgar complained, while Lily laughed.

“What about you?” asked Emmeline. “Do you have a boyfriend? Or girlfriend?”

Lily smiled. “Yeah, actually. That’s my girlfriend over there. Pandora.”

“Oh, you’re Pandora’s girlfriend?” Emmeline said, surprised.

“Yep, do you know her?”

“We’re in Ravenclaw with her,” Emmeline explained. “But she’s never in the common room. Always down in the Slytherin dungeons.”

“Makes sense,” Lily said, thinking of the friendship between Regulus and Pandora. To be honest, it wasn’t unlike what she and Remus shared.

“And, um…” Emmeline hesitated. “You’re friends with Mary, right?”

Lily grinned. “I sure am. Any reason you asked?”

Emmeline blushed. “Ah, no… just wondering.”

Lily thought privately that Emmeline would be very good for Mary. They both seemed into each other, in any case.

 

When they had all finished eating, and were waiting expectantly on the couches, Peter resumed his spot standing on a chair.

“Now that we have all sustained sustenance,” he said, and there were a few snorts at his fancy language. “We shall proceed with the games. Next up: Wink murderer. Gather round, children.”

They all shifted into something that half resembled a circle, and Peter cleared his throat.

“The rules are simple; one person will be the murderer. No one else will know who this person is. There will also be a detective, who will try to guess who the murderer is before we all die. They will only have two guesses.”

He paused for dramatic effect. “But if you get winked at you are DEAD! DECEASED! GONE!”

He stared at each of them. “And I expect to see you die in the most dramatic way possible. I want horror, people. I want a story. Make it interesting. Make it disturbing. Use your acting skills.”

Peter clapped his hands together, searching the room. “Remus, you will be our detective.”

Remus groaned. “Do I have to?”

“Yep,” Peter told him. “Go stand outside.”

He grumbled, but stood, walking into the kitchen and shutting the door behind him.

Peter surveyed the remaining people. “One of us will be the murderer.”

“Wait, if you’re playing, who’s going to choose the murderer?” asked Marlene, confused.

“I will,” Mary volunteered. “I’ll sit this game out. I don’t particularly want to fake my death anyway.”

“Thanks, Mary,” said Peter. “Now, everyone close your eyes.”

When a murderer had been selected, they called Remus back in. Everyone was eyeing the others distrustfully, waiting for the murderer to strike.

Marlene was the first to go.

She gagged dramatically, standing up from her seat. “Oh no,” she gasped. “I’ve been hit with a curse. I think I’m dying.” she fell to her knees.

Peter applauded. “Nice, McKinnon. Who cast the curse?”

“A dark wizard by the name of,” she paused. “...Voldemort.”

Sirius snorted. “That’s a stupid name.”

Marlene glared at him. “I was thinking on the spot, okay?” She gasped, stretched out one hand, and collapsed dramatically to the floor.

Dorcas looked amused. “Don’t worry, Marlene,” she announced, “I will avenge you!”

She cast a look around the circle, clearly looking for the culprit, and frowned. “Oh, wait, no. I’m dead too.”

She also collapsed to the floor, linking her fingers with Marlene, whose face lit up instantly.

“Suddenly, I like being dead.”

“Shut up, Marls, dead people can’t speak,” Remus murmured, “And I’m trying to focus.”

He scanned the faces of the people still in the circle, looking for a trace of guilt, but they all looked amused and slightly shocked.

Regulus stood up next, grabbing a cup of water on the table next to him, and taking a sip.

“I drowned,” he announced flatly, and sat down on the floor. Sirius snorted.

“That’s pathetic, Reg, give us some backstory.”

Regulus sighed. “Fine. I was trying to defeat- what was his name? Voldymould?”

“Voldemort,” sighed Marlene.

"Yes, him- and then I was dragged down into a lake by inferi.”

There was silence. “Damn, that’s morbid,” Sirius said finally, and Regulus shrugged.

“You asked.”

Edgar was the next to die, pretending to get stabbed by an unknown figure. Evan followed soon after, carrying out an impressive one-sided duel.

Then Lily stood up, at the same time as James.

“James, I was the one that got winked at,” she said impatiently.

“No, I got winked at!” he exclaimed.

She sighed. “Then I guess we’re both dying.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you!” he cried out, lunging forward, and falling in slow-motion to the floor, twitching slightly before falling still.

“Uh, I sacrifice myself to kill Voldevold,” Lily said, and Marlene groaned.

“For the last time, it’s Voldemort!”

“Yeah, whatever. I got hit by the avada kedavra by the way.”

Remus looked frustrated. “I’ve seen literally no one wink? This murderer is good, for fucks sake.”

“Well, I’m dead, if that helps!” Pandora said breezily. “I was in a potions accident and I exploded into a thousand pieces.”

She swirled around in a circle as if to illustrate her point, then sat down on the floor next to Lily.

“Oh, I’m dead too, then,” Barty said. “I just couldn’t live without you, Pan. Hang on, let me think for a second…”

They all stared at him while he thought of a cool way to die. “Ooh, I know,” he said finally. “I’ll have my soul sucked out by a dementor.”

“You’re not technically dead if that happens,” Regulus pointed out, and Barty shrugged.

“Eh, as good as.”

“Okay, I’m ready to make a guess,” Remus said finally, and they watched as he pivoted around in a slow circle.

“Sirius, babe, is it you?”

Sirius looked downright offended. “Did my own boyfriend just accuse me of murdering all these people?”

“Yes?”

“Well, I am shocked,” he declared. “Absolutely shocked. I would never do this, especially to James.”

“But you would do it to your own brother?” Regulus asked, and Sirius considered.

“Depends on the day, really.”

“So I take it to mean it isn’t you,” Remus sighed, and Sirius turned away, nose in the air.

“I’m not talking to you, traitor.” He lasted 12 whole seconds before turning back to Remus.

“No, it’s not me! How could you think it was me?”

“You looked suspicious!” Remus exclaimed.

“Sirius, he guessed you, so you’re dead now,” Regulus said wearily.

“Wait, okay, let me act out my death,” Sirius said quickly.

He stood, no doubt to make some dramatic performance, but tripped, stumbling sideways. He hit the curtains, disappearing through them and almost falling out of the open window behind them.

Regulus snickered. “Sirius died by falling through a curtain. What a lame death.”

“That wasn’t how I died!” Sirius complained. “I tripped! Just give me-”

“No redoes!” Mary said. “Sirius, death by a curtain. Now sit down and shut up.”

Sirius grumbled in annoyance, but sat down in a huff.

Only Emmeline and Peter were left. Remus opened his mouth to make another guess, but Emmeline stood up before he could.

“Voldemort came back to life and killed me,” she announced. “I duelled him and almost finished him off, but he killed me at the last moment.”

“Damn,” said Lily, “I sacrificed myself for nothing?”

“You didn’t sacrifice yourself,” Peter said gleefully. “I killed you! I killed all of you! Ha, losers!”

He did a little victory dance in the middle of the floor, and Remus sighed.

“Of course it was Peter. It’s always Peter.”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean? I kill you too, Remus. Uh, you die by… intestinal bleeding.”

“Intestinal bleeding?” Remus snorted, and James looked confused.

“Why is that bad? That’s where the blood is supposed to be.”

Regulus looked at him pityingly. “Oh, James.”

“What? Are you telling me I’m wrong?

“It was an evil curse that caused intestinal bleeding,” Peter said decisively. “And you die. Boom, dead. I killed all of you! A point for me!”

He strutted over to the whiteboard, adding a tally under his name. Mary sighed.

“I guess I’m the lone survivor, then.”

 

Mary and Emmeline avenged them all in the next game, however. They were absolutely lethal at pictionary, and beat the rest of them by a mile.

Evan and Barty, however, were less than capable.

Evan was drawing on the board, and Barty was shouting out answers.

“Uh- a book! A manticore! A… cock! Yes, it’s definitely a cock.”

Evan threw the pen down in frustration as the timer ran out. “It’s an aeroplane, Bartemius!” he fumed. “It is so clearly a fucking aeroplane.”

Barty looked confused. “What’s an aeroplane?”

Evan looked close to smacking Barty over the head with the whiteboard. They decided to end the pictionary there.

 

The final game of the evening was a highly-anticipated one, and one that could very possibly go on for hours. No matter the people, no matter the place, no matter the year - they always played Monopoly on game night.

And this year it was going to be brutal.

Remus and Sirius partnered up, like always. The two of them were fucking gods at monopoly. Dorcas asked Marlene to be her partner as well.

Lily and Pandora went together of course, as did Peter and Edgar, and Mary and Emmeline decided to continue their winning streak from Pictionary. Barty and Evan ditched Regulus and partnered up, much to his dissatisfaction.

“Who will I go with now?” he complained, and James perked up.

“Be my partner, Reg.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Marlene whispered loudly. “He’s fucking awful.”

James put on an injured look. “I am not.”

“You are, mate, sorry,” Remus said sympathetically, and James threw his hands up in the air.

“Everyone is always attacking me in this place-”

“Well, it doesn’t matter if he’s awful, because I’m good enough for both of us,” Reg said decisively.

James stared at him, looking oddly touched. “You’ll partner with me?”

Regulus nodded, and the ghost of a smile flashed across his face before the stony demeanour was back.

Sirius looked less than pleased, and opened his mouth to say something. Remus, however, was well aware of how his boyfriend could get and quickly distracted him with a kiss.

“Man, the PDA in here is atrocious,” Marlene complained.

Sirius broke away from Remus, glaring up at her. “Atrocious is a big word for someone who can’t read.”

“You tiny fucker-”

“For the last time, I am taller than you-”

“This must be some kind of record,” Lily sighed. “We haven’t even started yet, and people are already arguing.”

“Let’s get going then,” Peter said, having just set up the board. “Get ready to lose, bitches!”

 

Two hours later, they were right in the thick of it, and tensions were running high.

Remus and Sirius owned all the stations, and were slowly bleeding the rest of them dry - their stack of money was growing higher and higher.

“Give us that cashhhh,” Sirius would crow every time someone landed on a station, and it became a reason to throw things at him.

Dorcas and Marlene were crushing almost everyone else, owning half the board and a scattering of hotels and houses.

Marlene was sure to let Sirius know this, and he swore in retaliation every time they had to pay rent to the two girls. The two of them had a self-proclaimed ‘bitter rivalry’ and the main two cheaters in the game. Tax evasion and crooked dice were becoming increasingly common.

James and Regulus had been through some difficult times, but were emerging with a solid investment with the set of reds, each containing two houses. Their main issue was letting James roll the dice - every time, without fail, he cost them hundreds of dollars in rent.

“Why does Regulus let James roll?” someone asked, and Barty snorted.

“Because he’s in loveeee.”

The game was temporarily put on pause after Regulus put Barty in a headlock.

Barty and Evan were doing extraordinarily badly, with one shitty property and practically zero cash. However, somehow, they were still kicking, which was more than could be said for Edgar and Peter. They had been bankrupted about halfway through by Marlene and Dorcas, and were now making out in a bedroom upstairs.

Pandora and Lily were living comfortably, with hotels on Mayfair and Park Lane, and a growing pile of cash from James and Regulus. James could not stop landing on it. Every time they went round the board, he landed on them, to the point where it was lucky for them to land on super tax.

Emmeline and Mary, however, had got bored and quit, returning their things to the bank and heading outside for a smoke. Occasionally, the sound of their laughter would drift in. It sounded like they were getting on well. Really well.

“Suck on that, motherfucker!” screamed Marlene as Sirius rolled a 10 and landed on their hotel. “950 dollars! Pay up!”

Sirius groaned, and Remus began to count out cash. He handed it to Sirius to pass on to Marlene, and everyone, EVERYONE, saw Sirius slip a couple hundreds from the stack.

“You are not slick, dumbass,” Regulus wheezed as Marlene shoved the money back in Sirius’ face.

“Give me my rent, asshole!” she yelled, and he swore back.

“That was the rent! Ungrateful much-”

“We all saw you, Sirius,” Lily said with impressive patience. “Now, put those hundreds back.”

He crossed his arms. “Why should I have to pay rent? This country is going to the dogs. Ever heard of free will? Well, I’m staying here for fucking free. Your capitalist, environmentally-destructive establishment is not getting a single fucking penny, McKinnon.”

“Then you can go to jail,” Marlene spat, picking up their dog figurine and planting it in the jail. “Like cheating fuckers in the real world do!”

Sirius picked up Marlene’s figurine and moved it to jail as well. “Well, you know what else gets jail time? Assault and battery!”

“What got assaulted, your feelings-”

“You’re just mad I’m better than you-”

“Better than me? You SUCK ASS AT MONOPOLY-”

“ME?? YOU’RE THE ONE THAT SUCKS ASS-”

Sirius moved his figure to free parking and took the money in the middle. Marlene moved her figure to go and took a fistful of hundreds from the bank. Sirius swiped her hotels off the board in retaliation, so she reached for his stations, and they both somehow managed to flip the fucking board.

There was no more monopoly after that.

 

After the monopoly fiasco, they decided to quit while they were only slightly behind. Peter gathered them all downstairs for the final reveal of the points.

“And in last place, with a total of zero points,” Peter read out from a sheet he was holding. “Barty, Evan, Sirius, Marlene and Pandora.”

“What?” Marlene yelped. “I got a point for twister!”

Peter hummed, looking thoughtfully at his paper. “No, you didn’t. An informant told me that your ass touched the ground in round six. You were out.

Marlene looked furious, and Sirius looked smug. “All of that, McKinnon, and you’re still last.”

“You’re literally last as well?”

“Yes, but my name was read out before yours, so I’m technically less last.”

“That’s not how it works, you motherfucker-”

Remus and Dorcas both had to hold back their significant others from quite possibly murdering each other.

Peter cleared his throat, raising his voice to be heard above the racket. “In third place, with one point, are Remus, James, and Edgar.”

James whooped and high-fived Remus and Edgar.

“In second place,” Peter continued, “With two points, are me, Lily, Regulus, Dorcas and Mary.”

Those mentioned shared mutual nods of satisfaction.

“And in first place, with a whopping three points, is Emmeline!” Peter cheered, and wild applause broke out as Emmeline stood up to take her bow.

“Hang on, I’ve got a trophy around here somewhere-” Peter said, voice muffled as he rooted through a box containing the game equipment.

“Ah! Here.” He handed Emmeline what looked like a six-year-old’s quidditch trophy, and she took it with a bemused smile.

“Thanks, Pete. Is this the prize?”

Peter hesitated, then nodded guiltily. “And bragging rights?”

Emmeline laughed, and accepted the trophy. “I would like to make a speech!” The room fell quiet as she raised her prize

“Firstly, thank you so much for this precious award,” she said, gesturing to the trophy. “It’s… uh, a lovely trophy.”

Peter nodded in satisfaction.

“Secondly, I would like to thank Mary, my successful Pictionary partner and not-so-successful monopoly partner.”

Mary raised a hand in acknowledgement. She looked rather ruffled, and her collar was buttoned unusually high.

“And lastly, I would like to say thank you to everyone that came tonight,” Emmeline said with a grin, “Only to watch me win! Thank you very much.”

The room exploded into applause, and Emmeline jumped off her chair to squeeze in beside Mary.

“Okay, settle down people,” Peter called. “Uh, rooms are upstairs, try not to get lost- although, this house is fucking massive…”

Everyone dispersed slowly, claiming rooms and snacking on the remains of the food, until it was just the Marauders left in the room.

“Well, that went great, didn’t it?” James said with a grin.

“Except for Marlene, she ruins everything,” Sirius grumbled, but he was half-laughing as he said it.

“Good birthday, Pete?” Remus asked, and Peter nodded in agreement.

“It was fantastic, really. Thanks for everything, guys.”

“A tradition like this is never broken,” said James, and the others nodded in agreement.

“We’ll keep hosting Game Nights until we die.”

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