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Language:
English
Series:
Part 3 of Every Fandom is Better With Dinosaurs
Collections:
Needs More Dinosaurs!
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Published:
2010-01-03
Words:
343
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
12
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58
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10
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1,089

Pathetic Lifeforms

Summary:

In which Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon encounter DINOSAURS. A birthday giftlet for afrai.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes and other works inspired by this one.)

Work Text:

"Master, that is not a pathetic lifeform," Obi-Wan said as calmly as he could manage, which was not very. Qui-Gon might be able to stare toothy death in the face with serenity, but Obi-Wan was just not there yet.

The creature stared at them with huge, dark reptilian eyes. It was covered with fine down, but despite the fuzz and the big eyes, it was not even remotely cute or endearing. Hungry, though, definitely hungry. And toothy.

"Don't be so quick to judge, padawan," Qui-Gon said. He fumbled in his belt pouch for a ration bar and tossed it to the creature, which inhaled it. Light flashed off a tooth as long as Obi-Wan's hand. The creature sidled closer to Qui-Gon.

"Master, I don't think--" Obi-Wan was interrupted by the sound of something extremely large crashing through the bushes. The feathered reptile made a strange warbling sound.

"I think the best course of action is to run!" Qui-Gon said, and did so, Obi-Wan following with Force- and terror-enhanced speed. He could hear roaring and more crashing behind them.

Safely back in their ship, Obi-Wan sank to the floor and breathed a sigh of relief.

"What did you learn from this experience, Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon asked, brushing a few leaves off his robe. He wasn't even breathing hard.

That my master is stark raving mad, Obi-Wan thought. "You can't expect gratitude for good deeds?"

Qui-Gon sighed. "I was actually thinking that it's not wise to make assumptions about another culture. Perhaps we violated some social taboo or--"

Obi-Wan stared at him in disbelief. "It clearly wasn't sentient! And it almost ate us!"

"You don't know that."

Obi-Wan gave up. "Yes, Master. I'll just go meditate on the experience now," he said, hoping Qui-Gon wouldn't pick up on his sarcasm.

Qui-Gon gave him a serene smile, which kind of made Obi-Wan want to smack him. Bad Jedi. "Very good, padawan."

He would have thought Qui-Gon had learned his lesson after the last "pathetic lifeform," but no. This was definitely going in Obi-Wan's report to the Council.

Notes:

The hypothesis that baby Tyrannosaurus rex may have been feathered is not widely accepted by paleontologists. This, however, is an OUTER SPACE T. REX, so whatever.

Obi-Wan would like you to know that he is not a xenobiologist.

Works inspired by this one: