Chapter Text
It wasn't every day Crowley called me into his office. Usually, he's not very useful, borderline useless. But today he has something important he wants to tell me.
"The kind, gracious, wonderful me has found a way for you to go home! The book said the answer to you going home is to exit the how you came! Which would be the coffin! You must enter the coffin, solve the problem in the story, and get the keys to form the Grimm Masterkey," Crowley explains, showing me a key designed with an open book swirling with magic as the top part.
"So, I basically just do what I'm doing now?" I ask, realizing I have to do the same shit over and over again.
"Er...yes. But at least you'll be able to go home, right? Since I am so kind, I will give you this magical key chain to make sure you can never lose the keys you gain," Crowley responds, handing me a black and purple belt with a large ring on the side. "Now then, to the Mirror Chamber!"
"Wait! I didn't even agree to do this! Grim!" I yell, holding onto Grim for dear life as Crowley flies with me through the air.
The Mirror Chamber is as dark as it always was. The big mirror in the middle is silent, but Crowley gives me a shiny crystal key, and every mirror starts to swirl to life. I hesitantly stick the key in the mirror, which causes water to pour out from the smaller mirrors floating above. The water swirls around the big mirror, and the liquid slowly turns green. A coffin comes out of the whirlpool, and glowing lights from the inside beckon me to open it. I use my crystal key again to open the coffin, and the minute it creaks open, an explosion of sparkles and light engulfs the room. I hear the coffin slam shut, next thing I know, I'm falling through the clouds.
"AAAAHHH!" I scream as I spiral through clouds, holding onto Grim. "Oh, my God! Grim, you're a Bandersnatch!"
Grim looks at himself and screams at how different he looks.
"I look hideous!" He screams, trying to push away his tail. "And you! You have on Alice's dress!"
I look down at myself and scream more. The dress is so not my style.
"If we don't find a way to land safely, we're pancakes!" I yell, seeing the ground draw closer and closer. "ACK!"
I hit something before the ground, and I bounce down whatever it is. I bounce off a mushroom top and land in front of a floating tea table.
"You're late! We've been waiting for you!" Ace says, dressed in a weird suit with a large hat.
"Ace?" I ask, dusting myself off as I stand up.
Wonderland is not how I expected it to look. Everything is more colorful, vibrant, wacky, and wild than Twisted Wonderland. Even Grim and I had an unnatural vibrancy to ourselves. There is never a dark space anywhere. The shadows even glimmer on the ground.
"What are you waiting for, an invitation? We don't have enough tea and crumpets to last forever!" Ace says, his bunny ears twitching.
Surprisingly, Ace is a rabbit beastman in this weird place. World? Simulation?
Trey, dressed in a green suit and green hat with 15/5 over it, grabs my hand and sits me on one of the floating chairs.
He pours a hot cup of tea and hands me a couple of biscuits.
"Eat! Eat! We don't have much time! Your trial is in a couple of minutes!" Trey rambles, giving me jams and jars of butter.
"Wait! What trial?!" I yell, nearly falling off the floating chair. "I just arrived!"
"Ah, but you didn't greet the queen first!" A voice says.
"Oohh, Chesire! That's where you've been, dear old friend!" Trey exclaims, hugging Che'nya. "Tea? Biscuits?"
"No, friend. I'm good for today. According to rule #569, a visitor to Wonderland must greet the Queen of Hearts upon their first step into Wonderland," Che'nya explains. "You fell and did not attempt to say hello."
"But I fell from the sky! Can't I say hello now?!" I yell as I feed Grim a biscuit. "How far is her castle?"
"I don't think you'll have to worry about that for much longer. Ah, Twiddle Dee, Twiddle Dum, won't you sit down and have some tea?" Trey, or the Mad Hatter, says, pointing out the card guards.
Two versions of Cater in geeky overalls walk over to the table and sit next to me.
"Oh shit!" I curse, feeling the card guard, who looks like Deuce and Ace, throw me off the chair and drag me to her castle. "Ugh! Why?!"
They throw me into a courtroom and lock the door.
"Attention! Wonderland court will now begin! The guilty person will get their head chopped off!" The Queen of Hearts screams.
"Riddle! It's me, your friend, Yuu!" I yell, hoping I can spare myself.
"Friend! Ha! No rude and uncouth person would ever be a friend of mine!" Riddle yells, his face turning red. "Onto the trial!"
A skinny flamingo beastmen hops into the courtroom and announces my charges.
"Guilty! She's guilty! BEHEAD HER!" Riddle screams, making the courtroom cheer.
"I haven't even made a defense yet!" I yell, fighting off the cards as Grim bites some.
"What does it matter if you're guilty or not?! You still didn't follow my rules!"
"Who the fuck cares about your rules! You're an overcontrolling, bossy, mean-spirited bitch who thinks she can do what she wants! If it weren't for your stupid rules, nobody would want to talk to you or say greet you!" I yell out.
The courtroom goes silent, and the queen sniffles a little. He runs away from the courtroom, dropping a key with a bleeding heart design for the top. The world starts to fill with black ink.
Guess I have to make him feel better twice.
After I pick up the key, I run after Riddle and find him crying in the rose maze.
"Listen, I didn't mean most of the stuff in the courtroom. If you were a bit more relaxed with the rules I'm sure more people would like you. It would also help if you weren't beheading people for the slightest offense," I say, rubbing his back.
"Really? But my mother always said the rules are important," He says, giving me a look full of red streaks on his face from his mascara.
"Not every rule is important. Just the ones that keep your kingdom, loved ones, and friends safe," I reply, hugging Riddle.
Riddle stands up and dusts off his dress.
"If you excuse me, I've got a couple of old friends to visit," He sniffles, going further into the rose maze.
The world begins to turn into a shrinking light, and I'm lying on the floor of the Mirror Chamber.
"Yuu, why are you on the floor?" Vil asks, helping me up.
"Uh, mix up in transportation," I lie, dusting Grim and me off.
"Nice key you got. Where'd you get it? Heartslabyul?" Vil asks.
"Sort of."