Chapter Text
Please. Someone make it stop…
Every bone, every muscle and every cell in my body is desperately screaming. No words, no nothing - just destroying screaming pumping through my veins. I can hear the screaming, the pleading, the anger. I can hear it all.
I can feel how my body is made of thin paper. I know I’m just paper getting ripped at every edge, burned in a lighter flame and disappearing into thin air. Every meaningful word melting in the burning flame, every feeling and every memory written on the sheet of paper that is me, is gone.
Oh how words can be grating. How only a few words can cause agony and pain, how only a couple insignificant words can turn into a suffocating mess. Maybe you wouldn’t think about words that way. You’d think that they don’t mean anything, that they can’t hurt you. But in some cases simple words can ravel everything that you have inside your skull. They make you question it all. They smother you, find their way to your happy place… All this to cause you pain.
When my skin is turning purple and the floor is staining red I can feel the familiar resonating through my body that has been made into a piece of art. Apostasy has taken over, just like they wanted. I’m letting them consume my thoughts and every last bit of the human I still am inside my fragile mind.
Until it stops. It all just stops right there. There are no pairs of hands on my skin creating more of that art. There are no lies whispered into my ear anymore. Just the deafening silence that cuts through my delicate skin deeper than any blade ever could. And then I can catch a voice, low and raspy, sounding almost defeated.
“He doesn’t… He isn’t suitable.”
Suitable? Suitable for what? It’s almost like they heard my question I was only thinking of. Then there was a second voice, a little softer, almost soothing even.
"What do you mean?”
“Are you fucking stupid? Can’t you see the resistance? He isn’t going to give in no matter how long we continue. We are only wasting resources and supplies for nothing here! It isn’t working! His mental stage was already vulnerable when he was brought here. We need someone else, our time is going to run out sooner than we think…”
I didn’t hear the rest of the weird conversation. Everything was just aching more and more every second that went past. I could say I felt a sense of elation when the room around me blurred and the masked faces left my eyesight. I was done for today.