Chapter Text
Ava perched atop an office building, ten-stories up. The sun had long set, giving way to the full moon, glowing softly and eerily with a hint of mist surrounding it. From this height, there weren’t many other lights in direct view; the street lights below bathed the ground in a warm glow that spread upwards until it faded away.
It was a calm night, barely a whisper of a breeze to those below. Up here though, she could feel it moving around her, brushing over her fur. She shifted her paws slightly, bracing against it. Closing her eyes, slowly rotating her ears back and forth, listening.
The city sounded like any other; the soft rumble of traffic, chatter from crowds standing outside pubs and clubs, a low and insistent thump emanating from the latter. It was monotonous, unrelenting, and almost distracting. She knew how to focus though, was well practised at it, and continued to listen for any signs of unrest.
This was her first night in the city. She’d been forced to move. She had been protecting the same place for several years, had gotten complacent, cocky even. It was to be expected in her line of work, that some people would see her. But they were never supposed to see her change . And it certainly wasn’t supposed to end up on social media, and then the local news, right by her apartment.
She had berated herself for the sloppiness. She was better than that. The only saving grace had been that they hadn’t really seen her. Not the real her, anyway. In the back of her mind, something had nagged at her as she tried to recall herself and realised the mental image was blurry. It had been too long. Her self-identity was flimsy at the best of times, but it had never felt this tenuous. Something needed to change, and so here she was.
Ultimately, it had been easy to leave. She had no friends or family to be concerned about; she’d been alone for a long time. She’d come to realise at a young age - forced to realise, she might say, if she cared at all for semantics - that there was no point. Nobody could ever know her, not the whole of her anyway. The only people who ever had known, had shunned her for it.
She was going to do things differently this time. She was going to keep her two lives separate and actually live . Like a normal person, like herself, as much as was possible. She had moved here and acquired an office job, due to start in two days. No matter what happened outside of that, she was going to spend several hours a day, and let people see her. Let herself see her. She couldn’t forget.
She could pretend that she was sitting up here to familiarise herself with the city, its layout, its sounds. And that was partly true. But the limits for which she could lie to herself, though impressive, only stretched so far. She was also up here to avoid something. Sitting here, eyes closed, her focused mind betrayed her for a second as an image of cardboard boxes strewn across a one-bedroom apartment flashed behind her eyes. It was pointless to pretend otherwise, that thing that she was avoiding: unpacking.
Then her ears pricked to one side, a shout coming from her left, two streets over. It sounded strained, panicked. She rose to all-fours and leapt into the air, her body immediately shifting and morphing until she was gliding towards the sound. She drifted over the alleyway, down the side of a club, that was the source - her owl eyes easily able to decipher the scene before her.
There was a woman on the ground, struggling to gain balance as she rose back to her feet. Judging by her shaking legs and the way her body swayed, she’d had a fair amount to drink. There was someone a few feet away, advancing towards her as she tried to back away. Ava had already dropped to the ground, just around the corner so she could take human form out of sight. Even though it wasn’t her own body, she always found herself to be more comfortable if she took the shape of a human roughly her actual size and stature.
Certainly there were many shapes she could use to intimidate, to fight. But she was plenty capable on her own, she rarely needed anything but her own fists. And if she was forced to change, if she did come across someone who was a match for her, she’d much rather it be a surprise.
She rounded the corner and shouted; the man froze. He braced at the sound and looked poised to run, until he took in her small frame and a snarl appeared on his lips. Clearly he didn’t think of her as much of a threat. As stupid as he looks, it would seem.
He changed course and started advancing on Ava instead, lunging in a sloppy attempt at a grab. She dodged easily and was already behind him before he knew what had happened. She gave a swift kick to the back of his knee and he stumbled as his leg gave way. She followed up with a blow to the side of the head and he was unconscious. Disappointing in a way, the fight had barely begun.
The thought was brief and forgotten entirely as she rounded to look at the woman, now on her feet, leaning against the wall with wide eyes. “Are you hurt?”.
The woman just stared blankly, no indication that she was even aware Ava had spoken. She moved in closer, slowly, gently, and asked again.
This time the woman exhaled and looked down at herself, running her hands along her arms, shifting her legs experimentally. She looked back towards Ava and nodded.
“Are you here with people?” Ava asked, gesturing towards the end of the alleyway, the sound of the music rumbling through the air towards them.
The woman nodded again, still silent, eyes still wild.
“Call them” Ava said with enough authority that even in her shocked, drunken state, the woman obeyed immediately.
Ava moved them out to the street and waited for the woman’s friends to arrive. A whole group of them emerged from the entrance, voices overlapping in a confused cacophony of questions. Ava explained the limited amount that she knew of the events, and they thanked her.
She continued to wait until a taxi arrived, and they bundled in. The woman from the alley still hadn’t spoken, but she squeezed Ava tightly and quickly, hoping that it was enough to convey the gratitude she felt. It was.
Once they were out of sight, she moved back down the alleyway, the man still slumped across the floor where she had left him. She hauled him up and dragged him to the bouncer at the entrance. Not caring about the questioning look on his face about how she was able to carry a man twice her size without breaking a sweat. She dumped him next to the door and told him what happened. He nodded, thankfully seeming to believe her, and she left.
She moved back down into the darkness, checking around her first; she was going to be careful now. She felt the air rush under her wings as she flew back to her perch - the night wasn’t over.
Monday morning comes with a blanket of clouds and steady rain, the grey sky looming over the city in what Ava can only hope is not foreshadowing for this new chapter of her life.
The previous day had been spent with a mix of unpacking and procrastination in equal measure. The apartment was starting to look somewhat like someone actually inhabited it, and not like it was just a storage dumping ground. Even if most of her clothes were still stuffed into a suitcase, and now thrown about across the bedroom floor, as she had hurried to find something appropriate to wear.
She knew the office wasn’t far, easily only ten minutes on foot. She had familiarised herself with the route on the map but still left early so she could take her time to absorb the surroundings of her commute.
She silently cursed her self-imposed rule as she tugged the hood of her coat closer around her face. She could easily change into something waterproof, and was tempted to even. But she wanted to do this right. Try to have a normal life, at least during the day.
The streets were fairly busy. She weaved through a sea of faces, all looking as miserable as each other as they clutched umbrellas and moved with hurried steps. She came to the corner of her office block and looked up. A feeling of dread started to seep in as she took in the mundane box of glass. It was bland and lifeless and she wondered how anyone had ever thought that this was the way they should spend their lives - most did not by choice, she knew.
This was not about the job though. This was about the people. Perhaps she couldn’t ever get close to someone, to truly trust them with every part of her, but unless she wanted to fully commit to being an animal full-time, she needed to engage in some form of social activity. A small niggling voice in the back of her mind begged the question, does she remember how?
Distantly she recalls a girl, brimming with life and vibrancy. A girl who could rarely stand still, revelling in every minute joy that this life had to offer. A girl who had maintained that same zest for life the first time she soared above the trees or ran through the fields, so fast the world became a blur. Had delighted in the myriad of new smells, sounds, colours that were not made for her to experience. But that was when the discovery had been hers alone; when there was nothing but a boundless expanse of new things to explore and treasure. Soon that discovery was shared to others, and had Ava been asked if it were ever possible to experience a greater change than the shifting of her entire physical being, she would have said no. She had been wrong.
She glanced down at her watch, small and made of a dark wood, and noted she was still early. There was a coffee shop on the corner opposite of her building, a steady queue forming. She hurried over and entered, out of the rain, and wondered whether the customers were here because it was good or simply that it was conveniently placed between several office blocks. She hoped for the former.
She waited in line, tapping her foot, watching one of the barista’s with mild interest. She was tall with hair too vibrantly red to be natural. There was a tattoo on the inside of her wrist, delicate lines, but Ava couldn’t quite make it out. To be honest, it had been some time since she’d looked at anyone long enough, who wasn’t on a screen, to even consider whether she found them attractive. The sensation was vaguely familiar, like a scent which conjured up the feeling of a memory, but the memory itself eluded you.
She made it to the front of the counter and ordered her drink: an oat cappuccino. She was careful to be polite, friendly - good practise for the day ahead of her. The barista smiled warmly, as Ava had seen her do for every customer that had been ahead of her. Still, she allowed herself to enjoy it as she took her drink and headed back out, thinking that perhaps this new way of life had a bit more complexity to it than she had anticipated.
She arrived at the office, having been escorted up to the 4th floor. She stepped inside and surveyed the room. It was as much as she had expected; high ceilings, entirely glass exterior walls, the majority of the space taken up by carefully arranged desks and computers. It was very modern, clean and slick, if a little lacking in imagination.
Her escort led her through, past a door through which she spied a kitchen, and a few people gathered inside to make their morning drinks. Some were already seated at their desks, glancing up with mild curiosity as she passed by; some returning the smile she offered in greeting, some simply going back to work.
She saw a woman emerge from a large room, heading towards them. She held herself with confidence, wearing an elegant suit, blonde hair neatly pinned up at the back. She could easily have been described as intimidating, if not for the warm expression that settled over her face as she approached.
“Ah the new recruit I assume. Jillian Salvius.” She came to a stop in front of them and extended a hand as she spoke.
Ava took it firmly and held her gaze. “Ava Silva.”
Jillian looked over her shoulder and gestured to someone, who immediately rose to join them. “I apologise, I was hoping to have some time to show you the ropes myself, but I’ve had an unexpected meeting scheduled. However,” she placed a hand on the shoulder of the woman who had come to stand next to her. “I’ve tasked Beatrice here with showing you around, introduce you to some of the team. You’re in good hands, I assure you.”
Ava turned her attention to the new arrival and felt her stomach lurch. She was wearing a short-sleeved shirt, buttoned all the way to the top. Her long, dark hair was pulled into a bun, save for a chunk of strands that fell loosely, framing one side of her face. A small smile tugged at her lips and Ava found herself mentally tracing the freckles that danced across her cheeks. She could scarcely be described as tall, barely a few inches more than Ava herself, but Ava found herself strangely delighted in the way she had to tilt her head slightly to meet her gaze.
She held a hand out and Ava tore her eyes downwards to track its movement. “Pleasure,” she said softly.
Ava reached out and took the hand offered to her and felt it squeeze in response. The warmth of her fingers, wrapped around her own, sparked something in Ava she’d thought lost.
In that moment, she truly realised the limbo in which she had placed herself these past years. The true extent to which she had not allowed herself to feel . Her life had been on hold, empty, dull, going through the motions. In that moment, she felt herself come to life.
Perhaps, after some deliberation, she had found the barista attractive. But this, this did not require thought or consideration. This came to her like knowledge offered on a silver platter and she did not hesitate to clutch it with both hands.
Jillian continued to speak to Beatrice. “IT should have already created an account. If you could get her setup, logins, security protocols, building access.”
Beatrice simply nodded in response
Jillian turned back to Ava. “I’ll come and find you when I’m finished. I’m hoping for a short meeting but,” she turns to Beatrice before finishing, “It’s Duretti, and I fear he does not understand the concept.”
Beatrice rolls her eyes in understanding before Jillian moves away, back into the room in which she had come from, which Ava can now see as the door closes, has a little plaque engraved with her name.
“Shall we?” Beatrice gestures for Ava to follow and she does so easily, eagerly.
Perhaps there was more reason to partake in the mundane human existence, than simply to maintain her own sanity.
The tour was short. The main workspace was open-plan, invisible lines stretching across the room and separating desks into segregated departments. Other than that, there were a few meeting rooms to the side, not currently in use, Jillian's office, the break room, the bathroom, and tucked away at the back, another office for HR. Beatrice had told her that the HR manager was named Suzanne and that she was ‘stern, but fair and caring’.
Beatrice, she had found out, was a developer. As she led Ava over to her desk, to introduce her to some of her team, a small woman in the desk opposite caught their eye.
“Bea,” she positively whined. “ Please just put me out of my misery.”
Beatrice chuckled fondly and gestured to the woman who had spoken. “This is Camila. Camila, this is Ava, the new starter.”
Camila looked over and beamed, nose crinkling, with a welcoming nod.
“Bad day?” Ava asked.
Camila scoffed but it was mostly playful. “Try bad month. One of the devs just up and left, no notice, no notes, nothing. And I’ve been left to pick up his work. And oh my god , it’s such a mess, I don’t even know how he was hired. Look at this code, Bea, where did he even learn?” She gestured dramatically towards her screen, Beatrice laughing again, before she stood with an exaggerated huff. “I need a coffee. Nice to meet you though, Ava!”
They both watched her bounce away towards the break room, seemingly as if the outburst hadn’t even happened. An interesting bunch so far, Ava thought.
She turned back to Beatrice. “So, how long have you been here?”
She was keen to lap up any information that Beatrice was willing to offer her, an insatiable and unusual curiosity that had bloomed the moment they met. So far, she had learned that Beatrice preferred tea, played football on the weekends, and was quiet but in a way that seemed to put everyone she spoke to at ease, as if emanating some calming force.
“About two years,” she replied. “Camila joined several months after me. She’s a genius really, definitely our best. Don’t tell her I said that though, I have a reputation to maintain.” She smirked at that and Ava was caught by the twinkle in her eye. She spoke with such a deep fondness and admiration that Ava found herself craving for Beatrice to speak of her in that tone.
They continued with some small talk before Beatrice was called over to another desk to assist someone. Ava excused herself and decided to grab another drink for herself.
She moved into the break room and found it currently occupied by a single person, their back facing the door as they poured water into a mug. As soon as she entered the room, Ava felt her nose twitch. Her eyes quickly focused on a packet on the counter next to the mug. The distinct smell of meat wafted through the air. Ava felt her face contort into a snarl and she was convinced, had she not currently been human, that she would have literally growled.
As it was, she just had a sharp intake of breath, which she played off as stubbing her toe on the door when the other person turned around at the noise. They gave her a strange look and Ava realised the fake smile on her face must not have been as convincing as it she thought. They picked up their drink and ‘snack’ and left, leaving Ava alone to slowly unclench her fists.
It was normal. She knew this. There was no way to avoid it, it wasn’t even safe to watch television without the constant danger of an advert for some fast food burger that made her stomach twist in disgust. She would have to get used to it, curb her reaction. But when you yourself could become an animal, had even lived among them at times, it was far outside her capabilities to not feel rage at the idea they could simply be viewed as food.
She moved to put the kettle on, taking deep breaths. She ferreted around in the cupboards for a moment and came across a box of peppermint tea, taking a bag and plopping it into a clean mug. Hopefully, it would be soothing.
She stepped into the bathroom while her tea brewed and looked at herself in the mirror, taking in all the details she had ignored for a long time. Her brown hair, cut just above the shoulders, swayed slightly as her head tilted. She ran a finger carefully over her brow, down her nose, mapping the shape and noting the line that appeared as her eyebrows knit together. It was familiar, and yet when she thought of herself, this image didn’t come to mind. None did really, she was just a shadow, a ghost with no tangible form. She hoped that could change, but a small part of herself worried that that was all she was ever meant to be.
She made her way back over to Beatrice, mug in hand, who was now seated at her own desk.
“Ah there you are. Jillian just messaged that her meeting is finished. She’s just making a few notes and then she’ll be ready to take you through your duties.” Ava noticed Jillian stand from her desk, her office only separated by glass, as Beatrice spoke. “To tell you the truth, I’m glad she hired you. She hasn’t had an assistant in all the time I’ve worked here and the woman works entirely too hard.”
“Hopefully I’m a good choice then,” Ava said, feeling her mood shift back slightly to before her incident in the kitchen.
“I’m sure you’ll fit right in.”
The rest of the morning passed uneventfully. Ava familiarised herself with the software and took notes on everything Jillian had said. Midday came around and a familiar face appeared over her screen.
“A few of us are going out for lunch. Care to join?” Beatrice asked. A reserved yet hopeful look to her.
Ava considered rejecting the offer. Going to lunch most certainly meant an onslaught of smells far greater than the kitchen incident. However, this was the best way to get to know people, to know Beatrice, and that was something she very much wanted. If this was a challenge she had to overcome anyway, may as well start now.
So she accepted gladly and revelled in the way Beatrice’s face lit up as she waited for Ava to gather her coat. Camila and a couple other people were waiting by the door and they started to move off as they joined them.
Thankfully, without the element of surprise, Ava found her self-control came more easily. She did her best to avoid looking at what was on the table, and instead focused on chatting to her new coworkers.
They were all very welcoming, eagerly asking her questions about herself which she responded to with the story she had created well in advance. She was just a normal young woman, who had recently suffered a break-up and wanted a change, to see more of the world. Ignoring the voice in her brain telling her that if she did want to see the world, it certainly wouldn’t be here, in this dull, grey, concrete maze. That she chose to live in a city because it was where she felt she could do most good, help the most people.
Beatrice and Camila were especially kind. They seemed to be a close pair and Ava enjoyed watching their affectionate back and forth.
There was only one thing on the menu that Ava was able to eat, so she ordered it begrudgingly. Someone had noticed and asked. Ava simply shrugged and said “I’m vegan,” knowing that supplying any more information would take her down a rabbit hole from which she couldn’t return. She couldn’t possibly explain to them the real reason behind it, and her short response didn’t leave a space open for follow-up questions.
The rest of the day passed quickly. Ava diligently got on with her work. Occasionally someone would approach her desk to introduce themselves, or she’d have brief chats with people as they grabbed drinks. It was surprisingly easy to step back into social life. She found her body remembering the steps, the delicate art of small talk, knowing when to laugh, when to offer up information and when to listen. There was something soothing about it. It was just so normal.
Her first week passed by in a blur, coming accustomed to the routine far quicker than she thought possible.
The rain had clung like an unwanted parasite for days. She was glad to find it had finally shifted, and the night sky was once again clear as she drifted over the city. So far the city has been relatively calm. There wasn’t much for her to do which, while boring, she was relieved about. Better to be bored, than know people were in danger.
There seemed to be something brewing tonight though. She could feel the air growing thick in anticipation. She scanned the streets below closely, watching for any sign of unusual activity.
She noticed a van driving strangely, too quickly, and started to follow it. It sped up and she realised what was about to happen just before she heard, and saw, a thundering crash as the van streamed into the front window of a jewellery shop.
She dropped down to ground level as fast as she could and landed round the corner to change. She took off at a run, hearing the chaos that had ensued, men shouting, an alarm blaring, and moments later a siren in the distance.
She rounded the corner and halted with shock, taking in the scene. There was already someone there, methodically taking down the men who had entered the shop, with quick precision.
The stranger was covered entirely in black, even their head was covered, leaving no identifiable features. All Ava could tell was that they were fairly small, slightly bigger than herself, obviously highly skilled. And definitely moving at a speed at which a human should not be capable.
Ava rushed in and caught one of the men as he tried to make an escape, slamming him to the ground. The rest of them, six in total that Ava could see, were already unconscious.
The strange figure started to move away and Ava stepped forward, voice raised, “Hey, wait!”
They froze and turned their head to the side in her direction, back still turned.
“Maybe we could help each other. I haven’t met anyone else…like me.”
The figure finally spoke. “I don’t need help.”
The voice was low and smooth, definitely feminine. Perhaps a little familiar, but she couldn’t place it.
Ava slowly walked forward, closing the distance. “I’m not saying you need help. But it could be good? Seems like we might have the same goal here.”
The figure suddenly moved in a blur and before Ava knew it, she was pinned up against the wall, forearm against her throat, forced onto her toes to keep contact with the ground. All the air flew out of her lungs as her back hit the wall and the masked face came to be mere inches away from her own. She could feel their breath, smell them, and the scent nagged at her. She was sure, if she wasn’t using a pathetic human nose, that she could have deciphered why it bothered her.
The figure leaned in even further and spoke at almost a whisper, “I work alone. Don’t get in my way.”
Ava knew she could easily break this hold. It wasn’t a true threat, just a warning. She could likely just push them off with sheer force. She could change into something smaller, leaving their hands grasping at nothing. She briefly considered it, smiling at the thought of seeing their head smash forward against the wall as the throat they were leaning against turned to air. She didn’t want to reveal herself though.
In the end, the decision was taken from her. The sound of sirens came closer and the figure relaxed their hold and moved off at a sprint.
She slumped against the wall, gasping for air, and watched them go. She was confused, dazed, and to her own surprise, a little thrilled. She gingerly brushed her fingers against her neck, feeling the pressure that was now absent.
Before she could get too far into that line of thought, she saw flashing lights appear at the end of the street and pushed off to get out of sight.