Chapter Text
December 2011
I turned the glossy leaflet over again in my paws, its surface thoroughly wrinkled by countless hours of reading and re-reading it. On the front, a huddle of young, beautiful, and diverse students beamed soullessly at me in college sweaters and expensive jeans.
It hadn’t been far off two years now since Jenna gave me Pueblo University’s admissions and academics leaflet the night that I’d helped her run away. I had poured over it a hundred times since then, but never with as much urgency as I had that night. I was wrapping up my last year of high school the next summer, and if I didn’t want a suspicious gap in my college application, I had to send it in by the deadline in just a week’s time for a Fall 2012 start.
I tossed the leaflet from my bed where I lay to my desk like a frisbee, and let my head fall back onto the pillow. I was tired. Tired of thinking, but also tired of arguing with my dad about going to college. For months now I’d been trying to chip away at him – he’d agreed in principle to pay for my college tuition, but only under the condition I majored in “something productive.” My favorite subjects, History and Photography, weren’t that, apparently.
I’d stormed off to my room after our latest spat. We must have fought for two hours, and we’d both said plenty of regrettable things. I knew then, though, that he wasn’t going to budge on the matter. Unless I suddenly decided I loved Accounting, Engineering, or Law in the next week, I could forget about Pueblo. I clenched my fists. I was too old to say I hated my dad offhandedly, but I was filled with rage. I still wasn’t even sure college was for me, but to be denied the choice, the chance to leave Echo… it angered me to no end.
Sighing, I did the only thing I could think to do and pulled out my phone.
Hey Jenna
Hey
Did you get that app sent?
Yeah, about that…
What happened?
My dad is being an asshole :/
Still??
Did you think about what I said regarding Journalism?
Journalism. It was a profession at least; one my dad might actually respect enough to let me do. I had been editor in chief of Payton High’s school paper for a while, and I enjoyed the work, but mostly in my capacity as editor. I couldn’t imagine an awkward simpleton like myself actually going out and finding stories, working to deadlines, interviewing…
More importantly, I didn’t want to commit my future to some consolation prize version of what I really wanted to study.
I dunno if it’s something I’m really interested in doing
What does wolf boy say
I think he just wants me to make up my mind already
Okay, how about this
My semester ends in 2 days, why don’t we talk about this in person
I’m staying with Emily
Okay yeah that’d be good
Just try keep an open mind till then
After reading Jen’s last message I let my arm fall, phone in hand, over the side of the bed where I let it dangle lazily.
Jenna, one of my closest friends since childhood who had since started at Pueblo U, arrived at Payton bus station two days later like she said she would. I was in Payton for school that day and on my way to meet my boyfriend, Leo, anyway so I offered to pick her up.
I remember that day like it was yesterday. When we saw each other we squealed and hugged and talked about how long it had been. It had been great to see her again.
“So hey,” I said, “I was just gonna meet up with Leo for lunch. Do you wanna come? He’ll be so surprised to see you!”
Jenna just smirked.
“I just got here, and you’ve already made other plans?” she said with mock accusation.
“Oh come on, you know it’s not like that – and hey – you were the one who insisted on meeting up with me today”
“Rude” she said, still smiling, and we laughed, “sure I’ll come along. On the ride down I had this great idea for a prank we could pull on Leo, though I didn’t expect we’d get to try it so soon”
“Ooh, am I being let in on a famous Jenna prank?”
“That you are, young Hunter.”
She told me the details. To this day, I don’t really know why I thought it had been a good idea, or how things might have turned out differently if I hadn’t gone through with it, but I don’t like dwelling on it too much.
At the time, though, I just followed along. On my phone’s contacts list I changed Jenna’s name to “Jared”, and replaced her picture with that of a generically handsome model wolf she’d cropped from an image of a teen magazine. Then, she sent me just enough texts under this new identity to obscure our previous conversation, and that was that.
We wound up being a few minutes late to meet Leo, mostly because of the setup, and then having to pull over so Jen could hop in the backseat to hide herself. I remember the next scene in parts. Pulling into the cheap chain restaurant. How happy I was to see Leo, and how happy he was to see me. Some PDA. Sitting down in the air-conditioned restaurant. Playing with my phone on purpose to bring Leo’s attention to it, and signal Jenna.
She had said that she’d prove Leo was insecure and possessive, though I felt sure Leo wouldn’t actually go for it.
“Have you decided what you want to do after school?” Leo asked me suddenly. I paused.
The question had been the bane of our relationship for the past two years. I didn’t know. Really, I didn’t – but my not knowing just seemed to upset Leo. This decision of mine was so binary to him; for me, no matter what, I wanted to make things work between us even if I escaped Echo. Though for Leo, it was like anything other than staying in Echo and working in his father’s auto shop was amount to leaving him. I had tried vainly to get him to consider coming with me, and part of me had selfishly hoped getting into college and leaving would give him the push he needed to get out of that shithole with me.
Yet I still wasn’t prepared for this question, nor did I have an answer.
“Don’t worry about it, Leo. I’ve still got some time to decide.” I say finally, and to save myself any further questioning and an argument, I stand up so that I can put Jenna’s prank into action.
“I’m going to the bathroom, be right back.” I say, having already stood up. As discussed with Jen, I left my phone on the table, screen up. At the far end of the restaurant, from the parking lot I see Jen poke out from behind her car seat and give me a thumbs up. I used the bathroom like normal, and coming out, I was almost a little nervous. Surely Leo wouldn’t be so insecure as to look at my texts just cause some guy called me.
“Hey.” I said as I reached the table.
“Who the fuck is this!?” Leo snarled, pissed. My heart sank.
I was confronted with the fake text conversation as Leo held my phone in front of me. There was supposed to be a little more to the prank, but I’d had enough already. Leo’s volume had attracted some attention, so I was quick to sit down and shush him.
“So, you are leaving?” Leo asked in a pained way, “Running off to fuck some other wolf?”
Okay. This was a mistake.
“It’s a joke, Leo, calm down” I started, trying to keep my voice steady and calm, “Jenna, we – we were just trying to have some fun – I was starting to realize this was a bad idea, but –“
“So,” Leo cut me off, “you’re playing this stupid game of keeping me guessing whether or not you’re gonna ditch me next year, and then you pull this shit!?”
I was starting to feel guilty, but at the same time I’m upset at how Leo seemed incapable of keeping it together in public.
“Outside, Leo” I said simply. I didn’t wait for him to respond.
Waiting at the side of the building, I was relieved that Leo actually did leave after the scene we made.
“The hell is wrong with you?” I blurted, the sting of his mistrust returning.
“Me!?” he almost yelled.
“You know, I told Jenna that there was no way in hell you’d fall for this since you already knew how I felt about you. Maybe I’m the one that should be fucking upset that you’d think that!”
“That’s not fair! You wanted a reaction out of me, and you got one. Happy?”
I wasn’t. This was miserable. I didn’t have anything to say to that, so I looked down and felt myself slump against the wall. We’re quiet for a moment, and then I hear Jenna’s footsteps before she’s next to me.
“What’s wrong, Leo?” she asked with that smirk.
“This was your idea?” he growled. I didn’t look up as I felt my phone being snatched from my paw.
“It’s a prank, Leo” she said, and I could almost feel her roll her eyes.
“Making me think I just lost my otter is a prank? If this is your idea of a fucking joke, you need to learn how to make one first.”
“Why don’t you learn how to take one?”
“How was I supposed to take that? Just laugh and shrug and say, “Well fuck, so much for that!” Is that what you expected?”
“Actually, we just thought you wouldn’t fall for it,” she lied, “at least not this hard. I mean, come on, I cropped that picture from the cover of a magazine. It was my number too if you didn’t notice.”
Leo must have felt backed into a corner. As bad as an idea as it had been, Jenna had a special talent for making people feel stupid.
“It’s – it just wasn’t a good time, alright?”
“No?”
“No” Leo said quietly, “what the hell are you doing here anyway?”
“Semester ended yesterday”.
“So, you’re staying at home for the winter?”
“Of course not. I’m staying with Emily, Jen says, and I was grateful that Leo seemed to be cooling off, until Jenna added, “you need to calm down, Leo. How can we ever have fun if you’re exploding all the time?”
“Telling me to calm down is the worst thing you can do right now” he growled.
Fuck.
“I’m tired, I’m hot, and I just wanted to have lunch with Chase”. I felt that sting of guilt again, sharper this time.
“You’re overreacting” Jenna said coolly, and I was starting to think I should step in before I heard something loud on the concrete.
A phone. My phone. Leo was still frozen in the position he’d been when he threw it. I made no move for it – it was destroyed.
“¿Qué mierda fue eso?” I hear Leo curse.
I could excuse Leo’s shouting earlier but getting violent with my property was a step too far, even for Leo.
“Otter, I’m sorry, I’ll buy you –“ he turned to me, but I’d already started to walk away.
“I can’t deal with this right now, Leo” I said.
“Chase…” I hear him call from behind me, but I don’t stop until I’m in my car. A few seconds later, Jenna got in beside me, and I wasted no time tearing the fuck out of the parking lot. I couldn’t even bring myself to look at Leo as I left.
Jenna spoke first.
“That went… well, it certainly went” she trailed off. I’d never heard her lost for words like that before, though she quickly recomposed herself.
“So I know I was talking down to Leo just there, but I suppose that was kind of a shitty prank to pull”. She said finally, with an air of resignation.
“Uh-huh” I murmur, my grip on the wheel tightened.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Nope”.
“Okay, well hear me out anyway,” she said, “I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that that was in no way a healthy reaction on Leo’s part. Is this really what you want to give up college for?”
I wanted to ask her what a healthy reaction would have looked like.
I was upset that she didn’t consider me staying with Leo and working in the garage to be a valid choice.
Most of all, I was tired, and I wanted to be alone.
“I’m just gonna drop you at Emily’s. I need some time alone. I’m Sorry.” I said finally.
“I… I understand” Jen said simply, and we kept our goodbyes short when I dropped her off.
I didn’t bother going back to school that day, instead I headed straight home to Echo and crawled into bed. By the time I woke up, it was almost dark.
I didn’t feel much better, though I really wanted to at least try and work things out with Leo. I fumble about in my pockets for a bit before I remember I didn’t have a phone anymore – and Leo owed me one. Even more reason to talk to him, I guess, though I’d have rather seen how he was feeling before heading over in person.
To smooth things over on my end, I decided to make the one thing I’m really good at – brownies with white chocolate fudge sauce. Hopefully that would sweeten things a little.
I find myself thinking things over again while I wait for my brownies to bake. What would my life look like if I went to Pueblo? I wanted to say I’d make interesting friends, try new things, and go to wild parties, but knowing myself I would probably scrape passes in all my classes, be too boring to make friends, and then spend my free time sitting in my dorm room alone.
“How goes the battle, son?” I was interrupted by my father raiding the fridge.
“Huh? Oh. I’m fine,” I said shaking myself more alert, “I’m just baking some brownies to take to Leo’s”.
“Don’t suppose you could spare one for your old man?”
“Nope, sorry,” I smirk, “all for Leo”.
“Figures”.
Like usual, there was no acknowledgement of the fight we’d had the previous day, as if midnight was a barrier that no conflict could cross. I decided then was as good a time as any to bring up the topic of my “missing” phone.
“Oh, hey… dad?” I said sheepishly, “I think I’ve lost my phone”.
“Have you had a good look for it? Do you want me to call it?” he asked.
“No, no, I mean I had it when I left the house this morning, but it wasn’t there when I got home”.
My dad sighed.
“What are we gonna do with you, Chase? And you want to go to a school like Pueblo? With that scatterbrain?” he chuckled. I bristled a little but kept quiet.
“Well, I guess we can claim it on insurance. Don’t worry, pal, it happens” he said after a few moments’ consideration, clapping my back. “Though you’re not getting a fancy smart model like that again until you show some responsibility”.
“Actually, I think Leo was going to get me a new one”.
“Oh yeah? That’s good of him. You need that boy” he said, wagging a finger at me.
You need that boy. I repeated the words to myself in my head – well, it was his fault the phone was “missing”, but at this point I was prepared to call us even for the prank. Not in small part because of just how wounded and hurt he’d sounded, because of someone he loved. Me.
We still needed to have a serious talk about the way he’d destroyed my phone, though.
I couldn’t help but feel like Jenna only wanted me to go to Pueblo to prove a point, and my only motive was getting out of Echo. Still, Leo’s parents were about to put their house on the market and move to Payton, and Leo and I would probably go with them, so it wasn’t like I’d be stuck in Echo if I stayed with Leo.
I imagined us in a little Payton apartment, making breakfast together, walking to work at the garage, maybe having some horny workplace banter, then going on lunch dates and showering together after work, and having evening walks around the amusement park, drinking beers while we watched the sunset…
Not to mention as much sex as we had the energy for.
I realized I was smiling to myself as I thought about it, and I knew I’d made my decision.
My heart was in my throat as I rang the Alvarez’s doorbell. I was almost thankful when it was his mother who answered.
“Ah there you are!” She said, gesticulating wildly with her paws, “I dunno what’s wrong with him, but you’ll probably get farther than me. He’s in his room.”
All too true, I knew exactly what was wrong with him. I thanked Mrs. Alvarez, and excused myself to Leo’s room, the small boxy one halfway down the hall. I didn’t wait for a response after knocking, instead swinging the door open while holding my breath.
Leo was sitting on the edge of his bed, still in his work clothes. For the first time since I’d known him, I could help but think he looked small and afraid, and I wavered a little as I tried not to get emotional. Our eyes met, though we didn’t say anything at first. I just stared into his amber eyes, staring at me in both surprise and relief.
“I brought you these” I said eventually, holding up the cling-filmed plate of brownies I’d baked, lacking anything else to say.
Leo didn’t say anything back, but got up quickly and closed the distance between us, pulling me into a tight hug. I hugged back with my free arm as best I could.
He broke the hug to take the plate from me and set it on his end table, before sitting back on the edge of the bed himself.
“Come sit, Chula” he said, patting his thighs. I quietly sat in his lap, and felt his head rest on top of mine, his arms wrapped around my torso. I let out a much-needed sigh, and allowed my head to rest against his chest.
“I thought it was my phone” I heard him say quietly above me after a while. The words reverberated through his chest, which vibrated softly against my head. I could have fallen asleep.
“Oh, Leo” I murmured. I can’t imagine him destroying his own phone would’ve made the situation much better, but I had to give him the benefit of the doubt given the circumstances.
“It’s okay” I added.
“Your parents…” he began, sounding nervous.
“I told them I lost it” I interrupted him. Having said that, I felt his body relax a little more. “My dad was impressed when I told him you offered to buy me a new one” I said, smirking a little, even though he couldn’t see. He hugged me tighter and nuzzled my headfur.
“I meant it, otter” he said.
“I don’t come cheap” I warned teasingly, still smiling.
“I wouldn’t expect anything less” he said, laughing a little.
I sat in his lap like that for ages, just enjoying his company. Eventually I felt Leo stiffen a little again.
“So… go on then. Put me out of my misery” he said sadly.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, almost asleep.
“Are you leaving?”
I squeezed his paw.
“I’m not applying to Pueblo”.
I felt his body tense up as he let out a cry.
“Gracias a Dios, fuck, I was so fucking scared, baby” he said in strained English through sobs.
Before I knew it, I was crying too. I definitely made the right choice.
Didn’t I?