Chapter Text
“Tell me if the things I brought you liked.
If anything, I said to you hurt you.
I had some moments of complete certainty.
Whiplashes of lucidity.
Tell me if the froth of the cortado pleased you.
If you ever thought of forgetting me
If you changed a sentence
At the last second, before speaking.” (1)
-.¸♡ - ♡¸.-
He had been keeping a low profile all week. Every nook and cranny of the school was used to hide and fulfill this objective.
February 14th was coming soon, and Mo Guan Shan didn't want to ask for permission from his new job in order to fulfill He Tian's whims.
“My love, don't hide.”
A long shiver ran down Mo's back, who lifted his feet off the floor to place them on top of the toilet seat.
“I saw your pretty little red head come in, don't think I'm patient, Mo” He Tian said in a bizarre voice, as if he was in the process of testing the waters before attacking. “Are you in this one? Or... that one?”
He heard someone flush the toilet and Mo couldn't feel more embarrassed. He came out of the bathroom where he kept himself hidden to notice a student looking at them both like weirdos.
He Tian, oblivious to the other boy's presence, pounced on Mo.
“I found you!”
“Let go of me, you idiot!” Mo shouted, in an attempt to get He Tian to get off of him “What are you looking at, huh?”
The boy quickly washed his hands and hurried out of the bathroom, just as the bell for the start of school rang. He Tian walked up to the door and put the latch on, knowing in advance that Mo wouldn't want to be overheard while they were talking.
“Then, why have you been avoiding me all week?”
Mo approached the sinks with his cheeks dipped in an intense blush and both hands trembling. That was the conversation he planned to put off until the fifteenth.
“Who's been avoiding you? I've just had a lot of chores and... work.”
“And you haven't had a moment to get close?”
Mo shrugged, turned on the faucet to wet his face, but He Tian turned off the faucet and pulled him back until Mo's back hit the wall, who out of inertia looked up slightly.
Dilated pupils, which contrasted with He Tian's serious look and contracted eyebrows. It was certainly scary when He Tian was angry or probing for answers; at that moment it was both.
He Tian said “Hey... well, I'm a man... this... busy.”
He Tian saw that Mo wanted to pull away again, so he put a leg between Mo's and held Mo's cheeks.
“I don't like being lied to, little Mo~.”
“D-don't you...”
He thought about answering, but He Tian was awfully close and decided to close his eyes as he forewarned what was (supposed to be) coming; however, it never happened.
“Did you want me to give you a little never mind kiss?”
“Who the fuck would want that?!” he inquired, nudging He Tian “Look I was avoiding you because Monday is that shitty holiday.”
“Valentine's Day? Do you have plans for both of us?”
“No! And that's for the best, I have work and... —Why don't you seem to listen to me?”
He Tian, couldn't stop grinning like a fool, but at the direct allusion, he came back to reality.
“I'm sorry, I was thinking how sweet it would be to have a date, really, with you, do you want to have one?” he asked, approaching, but not in an intimidating way. Now he was doing it with some trepidation that (his) Mo was going to break, in that gesture that (He Tian knew) caused Mo's legs to buckle. “It would be our first date as boyfriends— What would you like to do? You know I can pay for anything.”
“You haven't understood anything,” sighed Mo, who grabbed He Tian's wrists, in that tone of voice he used in situations where he really needed to make He Tian understand. “I have a job, and I don't want to lose it this time; so, don't insist, okay?”
He Tian looked disappointed, but he understood Mo's position on how important it was to himself and his mother that Mo had a job.
He reached up to Mo's forehead to deposit a little kiss there, to which Mo lowered his head.
“It's okay... at least come to my house for dinner that day, okay? Auntie's food is good, but you haven't been here for two weeks —and the last time you stayed five minutes....”
“I'll think about it.”
“I won't do anything you don't want —I told you— Ask me and I'll do it my way.”
That was the problem. That Mo was never prepared for He Tian's “ways.”
-.¸♡ - ♡¸.-
He thought He Tian would ask him out the day before Valentine's Day to cash in on the date they couldn't have.
However, he only received the typical good morning message which he ignored and spent the entire morning waiting to see if a second message would arrive.
In an attempt to make the delay shorter, he even helped his mom clean the whole house and then watched one of the movies he loved, but Mo was bored out of his mind.
He kept his cell phone in his pocket all day.
He didn't get anything.
“Son, is everything all right? You seem a little depressed.”
Mo turned and smiled lightly at him.
“It's nothing— I have work tomorrow and He Tian told me he was going to help me with history, so I don't think I'll come home until Tuesday.”
“Okay, no problem, but before you go to your friend's house, come and take something for the two of you to eat— I want to take advantage of making dumplings.”
He thanked her quietly and turned his eyes back to the TV, where the cliché scene of the first kiss between the protagonists with a personality as flat as the plot was coming on.
He checked his phone again and was convinced that He Tian was not going to contact him.
-.¸♡ - ♡¸.-
He had a right to be a little angry.
He was also right to skip lunch, so as not to meet his annoying friends, let alone He Tian.
Even so, he was angrier with himself; because after the movie, there was a variety show, where women were telling problems on the subject of love.
And they all ended up with the same topic.
Lack of communication.
He Tian was not a fortune teller; he knew it well and yet he continued to strive (unconsciously) to make He Tian more predictable.
He wanted to express himself better and considered that the last few months he made vast progress in that area, although he feared that He Tian would get bored of him, because of the slowness it took him to come to terms with the changes that took place in such a short time.
“Oh... He Tian now owes me 80 yuan” said Zhan Zheng Xi, finding Mo at lunchtime with half a sandwich in his hands. “What are you doing here?”
“Can't you see, nerd?”
Zhan shrugged his shoulders. Well, He Tian has been looking for you for a while now and, I won't deny it, it's annoying to see his disappointed face.
Mo opened his mouth, but it was to take another bite.
“If you want, I can go...”
“I don't care.”
Zhan gave a half-smile and sat down next to Mo; on the back stairs of the gym, no one was going, let alone a cloudy day like that.
Zhan looked at Mo with that calmness so common to the boy. He was waiting for him to say something, anything, and Mo wished he could explain what he felt, not knowing how to pronounce the first syllable.
“In the end, are you going out with Jian Yi?”
“Yes... he asked me the other day, but I don't know what his plans are. I just hope nothing goes wrong” he replied. Mo wrinkled his nose and took another bite of bread. “He looks like a little boy, so excited.”
He noticed it in Zhan's smile and felt envy rise in his stomach. He bit his lip and finished his lunch with one last bite.
“I hope that stops him being such a pain in the ass.”
“And you have plans with He Tian?”
“Why should I have plans with that jerk... I have work to do.”
“Ah... that's why you're so angry.”
Mo didn't say anything, although he wanted to hit Zhan hard. Actually, he was about to, but he decided to be supportive of Jian Yi, since he guessed that Jian wouldn't be at all happy if he left his date with a black eye.
“I think He Tian has something planned” Zhan told him, with the class entrance bell ringing, “Don't be so grumpy and let him talk to you; if you continue to hide, you're not going to get anything out.”
“For some reason, I have a feeling that He Tian was going to reward you even more if you managed to convince me, right?”
Zhan looked to the side with a faint blush.
“Believe what you want —I told you this as a friend. But... will you talk to him?”
He recognized that Zhan was right in this conversation, or rather, he had been thinking about it since the beginning of the day, but the simple fact of hearing it coming from the mouth of a friend made him reconsider.
“Yes...”
“Amazing!” exclaimed Zhan. “Well, I'm off, I have English.”
He said goodbye and Mo arrived at the literature class a couple of minutes late, but only received a mild scolding and was allowed to enter. He sat down and waited for the last recess to play, not paying attention to the teacher's exaggerated interpretations of the paragraphs of the text they were to read. He waited with his arms crossed at the entrance, anticipating He Tian's arrival.
They both went up to the terrace, with ten minutes to spare before the next class.
“How much did you pay him?”
“Eighty and if I convinced you, I would quadruple his pay.” He Tian admitted, without any hesitation, “I was going to double it, but that bastard Jian Yi had no intention of leaving his post.”
Mo folded his arms, to know that so many things were enough for him with 320 yuan.
“I didn't know your hiding place behind the gym....”
“He told you?! What a jerk!”
“Well, I forced him to...”
“So, you paid him more.”
“Little Mo, if you already know, why are you asking me?” Mo let out a snort and sat down on the warm cement. It was strange, with the day so sultry, but the sun still managed to warm up “I was thinking of going with you to work.”
“No.”
He Tian squatted down in front of Mo, calmly and skeptically.
“I'm going to go to work with you, aren't I?”
“No...”
This time he said it less sure because He Tian twisted his smile, and clenched his hands into a pair of fists.
“I've been very patient, little one... but I'm not going to take no for an answer this time.”
“What are you asking for?” Mo questioned, “if you're going to do whatever you want.”
He Tian scratched his head and tired of the posture sat down on the floor.
“Because I always hope that next time it will be different” he confessed, his eyes looking elsewhere. Mo opened his eyes in shock to see He Tian blushing a little. “Besides, I haven't seen you since Friday....”
“You make me feel disgusted. It doesn't suit you to blush, stop blushing.”
He Tian looked up and noticed how nervous Mo was getting. He licked his lips playfully.
“I get it, you're the cheesy type” he pointed, two steps closer to Mo. “You like it when I get cheesy, cutie?”
“I've got class, see ya.”
Mo stood up, next to He Tian who didn't want to let go.
“That, see you, is it because you let me go with you to work, honey?”
“Shut up at once, you filthy miserable idiot!”
“Oh, you're burning up Mo,” He Tian whispered, in the ear of Mo, who froze; He Tian reached down to the edge of Mo's belt. “Does this deal warm you up, baby?”
“Okay! Come with me to work but stop giving me that.” Mo agreed “I'm exhausted and you come out with this.”
He ended up leaving, deaf to He Tian's tireless flirtations. He tried to pay a modicum of attention in class, but couldn't because of the mixture of nervousness and anticipation that stabbed at any hint of concentration.
He hated feeling like this, like he was sick. He kept repeating He Tian's stupid voice inside his head, no matter how much he pounded on the notebook.
His friends even ended up believing that He Tian had finally managed to drive him crazy, and maybe they weren't entirely wrong.
He spent the rest of the class with his face pressed against the wood of the desk, his eyes on the soft swaying of the window curtain, and with each passing second, his heart fluttered anxiously.
It was almost paranormal that situation, where He Tian managed to force him to always be in his thoughts.
“I must stop watching those movies with mom” he thought “Mr. Darcy of shit.”
-.¸♡ - ♡¸.-
Mo worked as a receptionist at a veterinary clinic, partly because He Tian, as soon as he heard about the miserable pay, he was getting at the greengrocer's, didn't want him to work for less than one hundred yuan an hour and, after making a couple of contacts, got him the job.
He (Mo Guan Shan) preferred him (He Tian) to get him a job, rather than He Tian to bring him money. It was more dignified than behaving like a kept man.
Still, He Tian never went to the vet, and now he remained glued to him, with his hands on every dog that came to the vet's office.
“Did you bring a friend, Mo?” asked the vet, with interest and a smile that accentuated the wrinkles on his cheeks.
“I come to work today, with Mo, but I do it for the society” He Tian answered before Mo could interrupt.
“What?” said the veterinarian and Mo at the same time. He let Mo continue. “You didn't tell me any of this.”
“Between the two of you, you'll finish the job faster, won't you?”
Mo spoke privately with the vet, and He Tian waited at the counter. When he returned, Mo had a pair of aprons in his hand.
“You'll do the heavy work, I can't let you go into the box,” Mo explained, holding out an apron. “It's time to move the 15- and 20-kilogram sacks of dog food to the shelf over there... and check the expiration date. Same with the cat food. Lastly, you're going to feed the hamsters and fish.”
He Tian shrugged his shoulders and began to work with a huge smile. Mo engaged in conversation with the arriving customers, while watching He Tian out of the corner of his eye.
In a way, he was still impressed with himself— he was dating He Tian! A guy who could have any supermodel for a girlfriend. It was reality. Mo Guan Shan and He Tian were boyfriends. Boyfriends. The word seemed as foreign to him as a stranger. As distant as the first time He Tian whispered it in his ear.
He packed a couple of products, his hands trembling as he noticed He Tian's biceps stiffening as he lifted a twenty-kilogram bag. As soon as he slung it over his shoulders, he searched for Mo with his eyes and narrowed his pair of eyes to find the boy watching him for a while now.
“Is something wrong?” asked a customer, at Mo's negligent behavior, marking a product over and over again. “I just want a bag of fish food.”
“Yes, I'm sorry.”
He erased the products and tried not to notice how He Tian exhaled as he put down the bags or the couple of beads of sweat that dampened his forehead and neck.
He Tian within a few minutes finished moving all the bags of food and checking the expiration dates.
“The one for fifteen kilograms of dog expires in six months. The rest in eight,” he said calmly. Mo nodded and wrote down what he had just told him. “Where do you keep the food for the rest?”
Mo looked for the box and He Tian greeted a little girl arriving with a rabbit inside a pink box, waited for Mo to finish attending to the mother.
“Did you see the rabbit? It looked just like you” He Tian pointed, his body leaning against the counter. Mo rolled his eyes and handed him the box.
“It was white, asshole.”
“Right, I like cats better” he admitted. “How much should I give them anyway?”
“Sixty grams for each hamster, and give the fish as much food as they need.”
“Got it, bunny.”
“Fuck you, motherfucker.” Mo snarled, crossing the girl and her mother off the appointment list.
He Tian ran out of unfinished business, ended up waiting for Mo sitting in the waiting room and fiddled with a Labrador that had just arrived.
Mo finished receiving the day's patients, a smile on his face. He listened to the clock approaching six o'clock calmly, along with He Tian's tender laughter overlaying the nervousness afterwards.
This situation did not bother him as much as he first thought. It was even similar to a dream.
“How many more are still to come?” asked the veterinarian, after finishing with the girl's rabbit and her mother.
“The Labrador is the last one.”
“How few! Good, then take the rest of the shift.”
“Really? If you need something else...”
“No, you go with your friend— I'll take care of the closing.”
“Thank you very much.”
Mo handed him both aprons and did a final tally of the day's funds, closed the till, and turned off the computer. He gestured to He Tian who instantly stood up.
“We're leaving.”
“No shit! Did I do so bad that you got fired?” He Tian asked, forming an amused smile. It was a truism that he himself was aware of how well he did. “Well, better for me— do you want to go to lunch?
Mo shrugged and followed He Tian who approached the fish tanks.
“That fish is different, is it the one you brought with you when... everything happened?”
Mo nodded and touched the fish tank with his index finger.
“It's nice, isn't it? And here it is healthy... I hope one day it will be adopted.”
He Tian put his arm around Mo's shoulders, and they watched the fish's acrobatics, as if it knew they were watching him.
Mo noticed that He Tian was carrying both of their backpacks, so he decided to play dumb and let him continue with his arm on top of him until they reached the place where He Tian felt like eating.
His mouth watered at the sight of the ramen advertisement and he mentally apologized to his mother, for not stopping by to pick up the dumplings. They walked in, sat at the counter and for convenience, He Tian had to take his arm off his back.
They ordered Ramen and it came so fast that Mo only managed to wash his hands.
“What are you doing here?”
At the sound of Jian Yi's voice, Mo looked up wearily, but soon returned his gaze to the plate of food. At that moment he would rather enjoy himself than bother with idiots.
“You're the one who interrupted us, aren't you, Mo?”
He shrugged his shoulders. He didn't care at that second of Jian Yi's complaints, he wanted to eat that food that looked too appetizing.
“Let's go, Zheng Xi.”
“The world is a small world, let's eat” replied Zhan Zheng Xi, as he sat down and played down the drama that Jian Yi created.
He soon heard the conversation He Tian engaged in with Jian Yi and Mo, he did not dare to look up, because he noticed Zhan Zheng Xi's amused grimace, without even checking.
The door opened again, as the boys finished their meal.
“What a coincidence! The boys are here anyway.”
Mo snorted in annoyance, but waved to his half-bald friend pretending nothing was wrong; though he furrowed his brow as he noticed He Tian stop talking to get defensive. He was a jealous shit, and he didn't deny that that could be quite funny, on some occasions.
But that wasn't one of them.
“Fumi is waiting for us over there, he already ordered the food, boss!” He added, pointing with his finger. “If you want, you can join us.”
He turned to see his group of thug friends, he greeted them without smiling, however, He Tian clung to the back of the chair as if his life depended on it.
Mo glanced sideways at He Tian, who was making a great effort not to look pleased at He Tian's murderous look. He would take it upon himself to annoy him.
“I’m with this animal today “Mo pointed out, and his friend, who was just noticing the animal's presence, eventually turned the smile into a strange grimace. “I have to make sure it doesn't die while eating. Next time.”
“Sure, boss, no problem!”
Mo approached He Tian's ear with disdain, aware that so many interruptions at a meal was never a good sign.
“What I said was true” he whispered and said to the three of them. “I'm going to the bathroom.”
He hurried in and had to wet his face to get the fumes down. In the past he would have hated it when He Tian was like this with him, but now that they were dating, it was almost an accomplishment.
He appreciated the reflection, in an attempt to notice in himself, what it was about him that made him someone who caused jealousy. He always thought the only redeemable thing about his person was the fact that he had red hair... if he grew his hair out, in the appearance He Tian told him it would look good on him....
He heard a rumbling coming from the restaurant, so he put vanity aside and hurried outside, to find out what was going on.
He thought he could tell He Tian how much he esteemed him... and how much he appreciated an impromptu, simple date.
He almost forgot how much he hated him. He almost forgot what a jerk he was.
“He Tian, you son of a bitch!” he shouted, pulling a piece of spaghetti out of his hair so that the next blink he looked down at the shirt he was wearing in disgust. A red stain stained the front “Shit, it was still hot!”
He stepped from between the tables, pushed He Tian angrily and restrained himself from hitting him.
“You know what? Fuck you! I'm out of here!”
He walked out of the restaurant in shame and anger. He held back tears and started to run.
“Wait, Mo!”
He ignored him and continued until he was exhausted from running. He Tian, who was a better athlete than him (how he hated him!) caught up with him.
“I... let... me... get... carried away.”
“And... what about me? You should... have... taken... yourself...”
They waited for a while, until they both caught their breath again. Mo, disgusted by the food of others on him, decided to take off his dirty shirt, only to find that the stain soiled his undershirt. So, he had no choice but to take off both garments.
He Tian looked at him, but noticed the same eyes of the veterinarian's Labrador retriever. He would no longer fall for such games.
“If you think any disgusting shit, save the comment” said Mo, who stuffed the dirty clothes into the backpack. At least the guy was smart enough to bring both of their belongings. “Because now, I'd love to hit you.”
“I'm sorry.”
“I'm sorry.” Mo rumbled; eyebrows furrowed. “Well, I guess that's the end of the boring day. We've eaten, haven't we, I'm going home.”
“Why are you so angry? I mean, I understand about the food, but Zhan told me that...”
“What! What does he know?!...”
“That's why! He doesn't know! But I do want to know what's bothering you” cried He Tian, almost desperate, as he took off his shirt and handed it to Mo. “Look, put on my uniform, just the sight of you makes me cold.”
He reluctantly accepted, and noticed that it fit him well, except for the sleeves, which he rolled up.
He smelled of He Tian, that expensive perfume and the restaurant's food.
“So?”
“It's nothing...”
“Do you want to go to my place? You said you were tired.”
He nodded and pulled his cell phone out of his pants pocket to dial his mother. He waited for the call to connect, where the woman answered excitedly.
“Ma’ I'm not coming home.”
“Everything all right?”
He felt his eyes sting, bit his lip, and answered.
“Yes, the thing is that we already ate with He Tian and we want to study as soon as possible.”
“Okay, but tell him I've prepared dumplings, in case he wants to stop by tomorrow for lunch.”
“Yeah...”
He hung up, put the phone away and put his hands in his pockets.
He walked a few inches away from He Tian, until they reached the subway station, where because it was pick time they had to approach. He was thankful that at least he respected the decision to be upset and not try to do anything strange.
He wondered why he nearly cried when his mother asked him how he was doing. Maybe it was the stress, the annoyance of being interrupted and, that He Tian had thrown the plate of food at him, was the straw that broke the camel's back.
He brought his right hand to He Tian's, which he held behind Mo's back; they intertwined hands and, in the midst of all those people, reconciliation slowly began.
-.¸♡ - ♡¸.-
He avoided He Tian's house mostly out of fear of the aftermath. Being left alone, in such a large apartment, and it was getting cold too quickly.
But against all odds, upon entering he was met with a feeling of security. He wanted to lie in bed, sleep for ten hours and wake up rejuvenated.
He Tian handed him a towel and went to take a shower. He loved the hot water on top of him, like the luxury it was, and the graceful way it carried away all the pent-up tension of the day.
He loved He Tian's shampoo, which left his hair soft and the boy's scent permeating himself for the rest of the day.
He saw that at a certain minute, He Tian left him at the bathroom door a clean pair of pajamas. He put it on and when he came out of the bathroom, his hair was almost finished drying; advantages of having it so short.
He Tian took a shower, taking the opportunity to boil hot water and prepare a couple of teas. He Tian sat at the counter, with a tender smile.
“I always like it when you walk around the kitchen, you've occupied it more than I have.”
“That's because I know how to cook.”
“You're right,” He Tian agreed, “but I'm a quick learner.”
“Do you want to cook now? We just finished eating.”
“Well, some other time.”
Mo nodded, dazed with sleep, he didn't understand the abnormal strength with which He Tian managed to stay on his feet after the set of things that had just happened. Especially when he considered that aside, he had to carry several bags of animal food.
“The dog at the vet's reminded me of the dog I used to have," he told him.” He came down from the counter and turned off the kitchen lights, to go to Mo's bedside. “He died of old age, but he was very good and playful, just like the one that came to the clinic.”
“What was his name?”
“Shan.”
Mo stood still for a moment, not taking his eye off He Tian who circled around the bed, lit both lamps and lay down.
“I began to like you more and more as soon as I learned your full name,” He Tian admitted, quietly, as if what he had just said wasn't something that would be completely off-putting. “I always wished I could talk to my dog, maybe then he would have told me what I needed.”
Mo sat on the edge of the bed. He put down his teacup and lowered his head. He wasn't ready for that kind of deep conversation. So naked.
“That's why, the day I found out that one of your names is Shan, I told myself I wasn't going to let you leave without telling me what was going on in your head. Be it big, small, bad, or good.”
“Don't Close Mountain...”
“Exactly, don't hide anymore, I promise I won't hurt you and I won't judge you. Tell me what you feel.”
Mo turned and met He Tian's gaze, fixed on him and tears. He rubbed his eyes in vain, because after a second, they were wet again.
He bit his lip, nodded, and lay down on the bed. He Tian slid in, to hug him as he cried.
Why was it so complicated to identify what he was feeling?
-.¸♡ - ♡¸.-
Ever since he was a little boy, he cried when he didn't like anything.
When he got sick; he cried.
When he got hurt; he cried.
When he got mad at his parents; he cried.
When his parents fought, and he listened to them in the room; he cried.
When he was punished; he cried.
However, it never crossed his mind to say what happened or how he felt. He cried, slept, and lived. Sometimes the crying went on for weeks, but it was always in solitude.
“Because men didn't cry” That's what Dad told him when he found him in the midst of the usual early morning sobs. However, seeing him in prison, and both of them eventually crying, he warned that no one ever became a real man.
Mo exploded with emotion. He learned to be impulsive, to act out if he got angry and avoid moments of discomfort.
He knew that crying came associated with attachment, so the day mom told him that dad would no longer live with them; he promised himself that he was going to try to spend life with as few people as possible.
Because that meant less attachment.
Even with this, he never anticipated that people would follow him.
The problem is that people didn't communicate through tears.
-.¸♡ - ♡¸.-
He Tian eventually got used to Mo's tears. Sometimes he brought them on himself, sometimes it was because of the situation.
Even so, he still could not decipher their language.
It was tender, and he liked to cuddle him whenever he would let it all out like a little child, hiding in his arms, it was obvious that this was one of Mo's most important languages: where he told him everything.
He still couldn't understand tears.
When Mo cried, he never made any attempt to speak, and that was worse. Not a whimper or an insult. It was complete silence and pure wetness.
He Tian grabbed the blanket and rolled them both up, so they were snugly wrapped in that cozy atmosphere. Mo didn't seem to notice, but if he did, he made no comment; to tell the truth, he almost felt himself clinging even tighter to He Tian.
He Tian also didn't say anything because he didn't need to. I mean, Mo was crying and seemed to be engulfed in tears, so even if he said a thousand and one nice things to him, he wouldn't listen to him.
He Tian sometimes thought that Mo with the tears, was going somewhere else. That he was no longer walking there, in the apartment too big for He Tian. It was the time when he disconnected. He ceased to exist. It was why he was so out of character as usual and exerted such loving contact.
He waited. For Mo to be ready to express to him in the same language what he was now practicing through moans; maybe it was too much or too little, but it didn't matter.
The important thing was sincerity.
-.¸♡ - ♡¸.-
I'm complicated and I'm sorry, but I really don't like being like that, I'd like to be clear and be able to tell you a thousand things without cutting myself off, but I can't, because in the past I've been hurt a lot for being the way I am; that's why I push you away when I want to keep you close and hide if I want you to find me.
Dad told me I shouldn't cry, and now I've disobeyed him again, but I don't cry just for me; I cry because I know you want to and you put up with it, for mom spending another Valentine's Day without my dad and vice versa, I cry for Jian Yi because I know he'd like to shut up half the things he says; for Zhan Zheng xi, who says less than he'd like, I even cry for She Li, I feel sorry for how broken he is.
I cry for many things and, at the same time, for nothing, but how can I express this in a few words so that you won't get tired of me?
-.¸♡ - ♡¸.-
“I want to stay with you.”
He Tian stopped listening to sobbing and understood the sentence in a flash.
“I understand.”
“I want to cry with you.”
“It's okay.”
“I want to laugh with you.”
He Tian gave Mo a little kiss on top of his head and stepped back a bit to define the mess he was now. To He Tian's surprise, aside from leaving both of their pajamas wet with tears and snot, he noticed that there was an adorable detail to the catastrophe.
“I want to do the same with you.”
“But I need you to wait for me.”
He Tian cupped Mo's face in his hands, tried to wipe his cheeks and ignore the red, puffy eyes. It was impossible, but realistic.
Mo bit his lips, closed his eyes, and lifted his face a little.
He Tian came closer, and they joined lips. It was wet, salty from tears, but, at the same time, fantastic. It was not the first, nor was it the third. It was from both of them, a kiss full of sincerity, respect and, above all things, love.
He Tian broke away from Mo, squeezed his nose and laughed.
“This is my "I'll always wait for you" kiss.”
Mo let out a snort and sat on the bed.
“You really are an idiot.”
-.¸♡ - ♡¸.-
He found the bed unforgiving, full of red petals and He Tian in the middle lying shirtless.
“No.”
“But why?! Look, I told you, I've documented myself very well and I know how to do it!”
“I just cried like never before and all you can think about is getting laid. If you're horny, do a Vladimir; jerk off and go to sleep.”
He Tian pouted his lips, got out of bed, and pulled a medium-sized package from under the bed.
“Happy Valentine's Day, heavy” he said. Mo sat up and examined the lousy wrapping.” I hope you like what I got you, I spent all day yesterday, looking for something suitable for my “cute Mo.
“Yesterday?”
“Yes, why?”
Mo said nothing and opened the package with difficulty. Inside he found a coupon book, a little box with a pair of new earrings and orange chocolate.
Simple, practical; perfect.
He took the pair of earrings and put them on. He Tian handed him a mirror to identify the design. They were gold and, since he didn't want to get angry, he assumed they were gold without complaint, and possessed the shape of a turtle.
“A turtle?”
“Slow, but persevering; I like the way it looks on you,” explained He Tian, who put the mirror away and stroked the back of Mo's neck with his fingers. “They look as good on you as I thought they would.”
“Coupons for...”
“Anything, well, I chose this specific book... because look.” He Tian looked for the page, a detail that showed he'd actually read too many coupon books to find the right one. “Two whole pages of 50% coupons on sandwiches! You'll have to buy me one someday!”
“And the chocolate...”
“Actually, that's my favorite, can I have some?”
Mo let out a sigh, opened the bar and handed He Tian a piece. A gift, almost perfect.
“I didn't prepare anything for you.”
“And that's why the chocolate.”
“You gave me a chocolate to give to you?”
“That's called being practical, I don't need anything, and I don't want any more unnecessary drama.” He Tian told him.
“You're a case, here” Mo replied, giving him the chocolate. “Happy... San... that.”
“San what?”
“San...”
“Valentine's...”
“Valentine's Day.”
He Tian, smiled and put another piece of chocolate in his mouth. Mo felt his stomach growl and regretted not having eaten a piece before giving it to He Tian.
Crying made his blood sugar go down.
“Give it to me.”
“No, I want it. It's mine!”
“You sound just like a stupid child.”
He Tian smiled, stood in front of Mo, and pushed him against the bed.
“Well, if you want chocolate, I'll give it to you, my way.”
And Mo kept thinking about how much he hated He Tian's ways.
-.¸♡ - ♡¸.-
Notes:
1) La polinesia Meridional: La casa azul.