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Bellamy manages to wait three entire hours after dropping Octavia off at her college before messaging Raven.
Octavia had shooed him out the dorm room door the second that the last box had been carried up from the car. (”Don’t fucking embarrass me, Bell!” she had hissed, as he tried to make small talk with her roommate’s father.) And now, the apartment feels eerily quiet in a way that it’s never felt before. Obviously, he’s been home at times when Octavia was out, but this feels startlingly final, even though he knows that she’s going to be home for her college breaks.
It had always just been him and Octavia — even before their mother died — and now it’s just him and he isn’t quite sure what to do with himself.
Let’s try not being completely pathetic, he thinks, as he types out a simple ‘are you all moved in yet?’ message to Raven. He receives the response back just a minute later. I’m done. I had to go over to Finn’s to pick up some of my stuff. That was fun.
Bellamy grimaced. He had never managed to get that full story out of Clarke and Raven, but he knows that it was bad. He tapped out the message on his phone. Are you okay? Do you want to come over? That seems like a safe response; simple, supportive, and not entirely desperate.
I’m fine. But I want to come over.
That’s… promising.
Bellamy responded to a couple more messages, before tossing his phone down on the coffee table in front of him. His leg is jiggling, foot tapping on the floor impatiently, and the silence is already starting to drive him crazy, so he starts picking up the random cups and coffee mugs off of the table. Octavia had left the place looking like a tornado had blown through it, after her flurry of last-minute packing, and the clutter is suddenly driving him fucking nuts.
It’s not like Raven was going to care if there was clothing strewn all over the sofa and dirty dishes in the sink (he had seen the cabin that she shared with Clarke at Camp Ark, and organization was clearly not something that was important to either of them), but it was better than sitting there and going out of his fucking mind while he waited.
There was no doubt in Bellamy’s mind that they had left Camp Ark in a good place.
(A very good place, Bellamy would even say, remembering the way that they had “christened” Clarke and Raven’s cabin on their last morning at the camp. Despite being occupied for most of the night and not falling asleep until nearly dawn, he had awoken to Raven already wide awake and enthusiastically sucking his dick. “This is the first time she has ever woken up before me.” Clarke had said afterwards, amused, before climbing on top of Raven and kissing her soundly. They’d all shown up to the final counsellor meeting with wet hair from the (also christened) shower, and clothing hanging out of their hastily-packed duffle bags. Subtle.)
However, it had been over a week since they had seen each other, and he couldn’t help feeling anxious. Clarke had seemed pretty sure about her feelings on that night on the beach, but that didn’t stop the doubt from creeping in as the days went by. Let’s face it, his past track record with relationships wasn’t exactly what you would call encouraging. Plenty of random hook-ups, a few casual things that fizzled out after a few weeks when one of them got bored… And now, there was Clarke and Raven and it just fucking terrified him how much he wanted it all to work.
He’d been trying for days to shut up the voice saying that maybe he wasn’t good enough for them. I mean, they were two smart gorgeous girls who were obviously into each other. What the hell did they need him for?
It was just a lot. A whole fucking lot.
He had just started the dishwasher, and was contemplating what to do with the near-dead house plant that he and Octavia had optimistically left out on the balcony all summer, when his phone rang with the ring tone that he had designated for his building’s front-door buzzer.
Her voice was muffled through his apartment’s crappy speaker, but it was unmistakably Raven. “Buzz me up. I have one of everything from the Thai place down the street.”
Bellamy couldn’t stop the wide grin that overtook his face, and he knew that the amusement in his voice would have been obvious, if it wasn’t for the shitty speaker. Maybe even then. “I can’t resist a beautiful girl with Pad Thai.”
Raven’s snorted, and he heard her say, “Yeah, and apparently we both have the same taste in girls,” just before he pulled the phone away from his ear to buzz her up.
A minute later, Raven was breezing into his apartment without knocking. And she really was not lying when she said that she bought one of everything.
“I missed Thai food almost as much as I missed sex,” she said, winking. “And we’ve already sorted out the second part, so…”
He choked out a laugh, but Raven was already spreading out the cartons of food on his coffee table and talking as if nothing she was saying required a response. “You have Netflix, right? Everyone has Netflix. It’s like a requirement for life.”
And shit, it really shouldn’t have been as easy as that, but Raven was riffling through his cupboards looking for plates and talking about her new roommate, and when she settled on to his sofa and held out one of his own plates to him, she arched an eyebrow as if to say, what the fuck is wrong with you?
And well, he was kind of standing in the middle of his own living room, mouth hanging open.
“Shouldn’t this be weirder?” He finally asked, after he had sat down on the sofa and snagged a spring roll.
“The last six weeks were plenty weird.” She said, not looking up from piling Pad Thai on her plate. “This feels normal”
“Good point.”
Raven still wasn’t making eye contact as she navigated through his Netflix account. “Seriously, Bell? It’s all history documentaries and rom-coms.”
“Some of those are Octavia’s!” Bellamy insisted, defensive.
Raven just snorted (still cute, he thought), before settling on Parks and Recreation and grabbing her plate off of the coffee table.
They watched for a few minutes, before Bellamy decided to try again. “You know,” he started, trying to sound casual as he picked up his fork and a carton of food. “I almost convinced myself that you were going to come in here and tell me that this was all a mistake.”
Raven finally looked at him, and her eyes were wide and vulnerable. If there was one thing that he had learned about Raven over the last six weeks, it was that her dropping her guard was a rare event, and well, he got it.
“On my first full day back home, I woke up that morning and I was totally convinced of the same thing. I was crashing on a friend’s couch and I’m sure that she was ready to kill me.” She laughed, suddenly self-conscious. “I was twitchy and on edge and eating ice cream like it was my job…” She paused, and her face twisted in distaste. “I watched like four seasons of Grey’s Anatomy over two days.”
Bellamy would have laughed at the picture that she was painting, if he hadn’t sort of felt the same way just an hour ago. “What changed?” Bellamy asked.
“I realized that whatever we had at Camp Ark, it felt real. And maybe everything is going to turn out terrible now that we’re back home. I have no idea. But I’m not going to miss out on something incredible because I’m too scared to try.” She paused, thoughtful. “And that last night was fucking incredible. I want to do that again.” She finished, with an eager smirk.
Bellamy couldn’t help smiling smugly. Incredible wasn’t the half of it…
“Well, if it makes a difference, you don’t have to worry about me. I’m in.” Bellamy said, and he reached out to grasp her hand, tangling his fingers with hers.
Raven’s eyes flashed with gratitude. “Me too.” She squeezed his hand quickly, before retreating and turning back to the food and the TV.
By the second episode, Raven was nestled comfortably into his side, her head resting on his shoulder.
“Is this okay?” Raven asked suddenly, interrupting a Ron Swanson monologue.
Bellamy looked down at the crown of her head, her sleek hair pulled back into a ponytail. He had thought that maybe the ponytail was just her summer camp look, but it seemed to be more of a full-time choice. He liked it.
“Is what okay?” He asked, confused.
Raven gestured between them. “This” At Bellamy’s clueless look, she continued. “Sitting like this. Cuddling. Without Clarke.”
Oh.
They hadn’t discussed the rules, well… at all. They just hadn’t gotten there. Not between the end of camp, and the rush of just knowing that the feelings part of this whole thing was mutual, not to mention their collective eagerness to explore the physical side of their relationship.
Typical. We didn’t get the chance to discuss the actual logistics, but we did find the time to have sex four (or maybe five, depending on how you were counting…) times.
“I don’t know.” Bellamy answered eventually. “Would you be okay with me and Clarke cuddling without you?”
Raven was silent, as she picked at the last of the cold noodles on her plate. When she finally spoke, her voice was thoughtful, as if she was still considering it. “I’m totally okay with general affection, for sure. Touching, cuddling, even kissing.”
Bellamy nodded. “Me too. I mean, you and Clarke live in the same dorm. I don’t expect you two to avoid each other when I’m not around.”
“And sex?” Raven asked. “What if, hypothetically, Clarke came over to my room on a night when you were busy? Would that be okay?”
Bellamy thought about it — actually thought about the idea. Of Clarke and Raven crammed into a tiny dorm room bed, hands everywhere, lips everywhere, gasps and quiet moans. Ok, so it was really super hot. There was that. But Bellamy was surprised to realize that the idea of it didn’t bother him at all. “I think I would be fine with it, as long as we were all upfront with the idea that it might sometimes happen.”
Raven snuggled closer in to his side. “We need to talk to Clarke about it. But we’ve decided that this is okay, right? I mean, at least for now?”
It definitely felt more than okay to Bellamy. And he had to admit that he could get used to the warm solid feeling of another person pressed against his body as they just hung out on the sofa, watching TV. Two other people, he realized. Even better.
“This is perfect.” He squeezed Raven closer in to his side.
“Clarke is getting back tomorrow, right?”
He caught himself nodding, even though he knew that Raven couldn’t see him. “Yeah. She’s driving back tomorrow morning.”
“Good. This feels weird without her here.” Raven admitted. “It’s weird to sleep without her right there when I wake up.”
If it felt strange to Bellamy not to have Clarke around all day, he knew that it must be worse for Clarke and Raven, who had been together all of their sleeping hours as well as their waking ones. He had gotten a few text messages from Clarke over the last week - several “shit my mom said” rants, some adorable stream of consciousness messages (he should have known that Clarke texted like she talked), and the occasional “going to bed” text, which he loved because he could just imagine her curled up under her blanket, eyes soft and sleepy. By far, his favourite had been the selfie of Clarke and Wells, dressed in formalwear and standing in what looked like a gazebo. Clarke was sticking her tongue out at the camera as Wells held up a bottle of champagne.
Goddamn. He was in such trouble.
They were on their fourth episode of Parks and Rec when Raven’s phone suddenly lit up. She leaned into Bellamy as she thumbed the screen unlocked, so that Bellamy could see the message, as well. I’m at you room. Where the hell are you?
“What?” Raven exclaimed. She quickly tapped out a reply. I thought you weren’t going to be home until tomorrow!
You sure know how to ruin a surprise. :P
Raven made a face at the screen, before smacking the phone icon next to Clarke’s name. “You know I hate surprises!” She said, as a greeting, once Clarke picked up.
Bellamy could only hear Raven’s side of the conversation, so he leaned in closer to Raven, pressing his face into her neck. Clarke’s voice sounded small and far away to his ears, but he could still hear the excitement in her tone as she told Raven about deciding to come back a day early. “And then the only person in your room is your weird roommate, who doesn’t seem like the type to appreciate you having both a boyfriend and a girlfriend—“
“Speaking of which,” Raven interrupted, “get your ass over to Bell’s place. We have Thai food and Netflix and all we’ve been talking about is how much we miss you and it’s getting pathetic.”
Raven was still talking to Clarke, giving her his address and saying goodbye, but Bellamy was barely even paying attention anymore.
“What is that look on your face?” Raven asked. Her phone was off and sitting on the coffee table next to his, and she was raising one eyebrow at him expectantly.
“She called me your boyfriend.” He said, dazed. He’d never been anyone’s boyfriend before. Not really.
Raven was still staring at him like he’d grown two heads. “And?”
“And she called herself your girlfriend.”
“I’m sure you’re going to get to the point eventually….” Raven prompted.
“And we’re really doing this.”
“Duh.” Raven said, but her smile was wide and open. “Of course we are.”
The silence stretched between them, as they grinned at each other, honest and unabashed.
“Do you think it would be too pathetic if we went down to wait for her outside?” Bellamy finally asked.
“Definitely. But let’s do it, anyway.”
*
It’s really awesome having them both home. It’s his home — his and Octavia’s — but he can easily imagine thinking of it as their home, and the thought doesn’t scare him like it might have even just a few hours earlier.
Clarke rifles through his kitchen and makes fun of his DVD collection, and snags the carton of cold green curry from the coffee table and finishes it right out of the box. She stretches her legs across his and Raven’s laps, and then launches into a twenty minute rant about her mother (summary: still judgemental and over-bearing, still dating some co-worker (who, Clarke grudgingly admits, might actually be good for her) when it hasn’t even been a full year since Jake’s death, and still not nearly as terrible a trip home as Clarke had actually been fearing) before demanding that they restart the Parks and Rec episode that Raven and Bellamy had already been seventeen minutes into before she had arrived.
After the credits roll (but before Netflix can autoplay the next), Raven stands up and starts off towards the hallway that leads to the bedrooms, leaving Bellamy and Clarke sitting on the sofa. Her t-shirt flies through the air a second later, hitting Bellamy neatly in the chest.
“Are you coming, nerds?” She calls, already completely out of sight.
Bellamy turns to Clarke, just as she turns to face him. “I’ll race you?” Clarke asks, and shit they both really are just perfect.
(Clarke wins. She also elbows him in the ribs as she launches herself off of the sofa, and Bellamy doesn’t even bother trying to wipe the stupid grin off of his face for the rest of the week.)