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There was not much left for Cardan to long or crave for. Understandable, for he was Prince and then High King of Elfhame, it was the job of those around him to see that he got what he desired.
Although, it did take a lot of work on his part to win Jude’s favor, which he did not mind much after the fact. However, it had been a pain. Jude was such a pain. And he loved her fiercely.
He would like to believe she shared the same sentiment, but it was hard to tell at times, especially now when she refused him of something he so longed for. It wasn’t unusual behavior on her part, especially when it came to silly requests like the one he was making at the moment, but it was still enormously annoying.
“I don’t see why this is such an impossible request for you to grant.” He frowned from their shared bed. Jude had herself wrapped in a robe after a bath, everything about her devastating.
“Because I loathe going up to the mortal realm when I don’t necessarily have to.” She offered plainly, joining him on the bed not a second later.
He might have become slightly distracted at her state of undress, his tail coiling around her thigh and squeezing. She did not flinch, but the way her skin glowed red gave him enough satisfaction.
“ You are a mortal.”
“Yes, thank you for the reminder.”
Cardan rolled his eyes. “What will it take for you to say yes? Will I have to swear my good behavior, is that it?”
What he was asking was not so insane that it would require the level of disapproval she was showing. For his birthday, Cardan wished to see the mortal realm. He had gone up once looking for Jude, ironically enough, and left with a taste of longing on his tongue. Cardan was not usually one for learning much of anything, but this knowledge on humans, he could not simply let waste away. Especially not, with his beloved wife, murdereress High Queen of Elfhame, who just happened to be fully human.
Perhaps this trip was less about him wanting to learn about humans, and more with him wanting to learn about Jude. If it was, he would never tell. Not unless she asked.
“I guess I just don’t understand your sudden curiosity.” She sighed, toying with the fur at the end of his tail as if it were nothing more than a fidget toy.
Cardan snatched his tail back, slightly offended. Jude stifled a smirk.
“Nothing is good about the mortal realm.” She said.
He wanted to argue against that claim. If the mortal realm were as bad as she said it was, how could it have produced someone like her? Despite his affrontements, he kept his mouth shut, knowing he could not lie and agree.
“Well, as your High King I demand you to take me to the mortal realm.” Using his title was the last thing he wanted to do in front of Jude. They both knew it meant he was running out of options to get his way. And it practically meant nothing to her, seeing as they shared the title in marriage.
“And as your High Queen I demand some time to think about this request of yours.” Jude wriggled herself under a quilted blanket, turning her back to him. “Also, as your High Queen, I will grant you leniency by not asking the real reason for your wanting to go to the mortal realm. Goodnight.”
Cardan scowled at the back of her pretty little head, annoyed, but not bested. He would wear her down soon enough.
It didn’t take nearly as long as Cardan would’ve thought. A mere month of continuous asking, and probing until Jude had said enough in that angry tone of voice she took on whenever she was truly fed up with him. She agreed to take him to the mortal realm and act as his guide for one day. He made her swear an oath, despite being human, he knew she was, usually, honorable to her word. And it had only taken a month to convince her of this.
Time did not pass in the same manner for Fae as it did mortals, a month felt like ten minutes in comparison to those odd thirty days. He figured Jude would have put up a better fight against him— he’d annoyed her purposefully, he expected her to do the same, and she did, intentionally or not. A month was feeble, though he supposed not to her mortal self, which ultimately worked in his favor.
Not a day later, the pair of them were standing on the front porch of Vivienne’s apartment, one absolutely dreading the day to come and the other uncharacteristically giddy. If it weren’t for the glamour, Cardan was sure his tail would have betrayed every bit of emotion that wasn’t showing on his face.
Heather, Vivienne’s short, pink haired lover, answered the door on the first knock, as if she’d been expecting guests. Cardan tossed a sideways glance at Jude, and didn’t doubt she’d spoiled their visit via a letter.
“Hey, guys, welcome!” Heather grinned, pulling Jude into a tight hug and regarding Cardan with a handshake. He had a feeling he intimated her, which was a shame, he quite liked Heather.
Heather pulled them inside, Vivienne and Oak greeting them from a couch. They must have been warned of their visit based on that mundane reaction alone.
Unfortunate.
“So, are you guys crashing here for the night… or?” Vivienne asked, nursing a mug in her hands while Oak wriggled his way into Jude’s arms. He looked odd glamoured, and it only occurred to him how odd he must have looked, if not more.
“Definitely not.” Jude huffed. “We’re in, we’re out.”
“I would love to stay the night.” Cardan smirked, willing to accept the invitation if she was offering. “Wouldn’t you love that, Jude?”
“No,” It was incredible how she had the ability to lie and yet she did not use it at the most obvious of times.
“Please, Jude!” Oak pleaded with her in her arms, wriggling his body. “I missed you a lot. We never get to see you anymore because of him!”
Oak pointed his little finger at Cardan, who couldn’t help but smile at his brashness. He could appreciate that in a child.
“Well, your sister did agree to marry me. It is her fault every bit as it is mine.”
Heather giggled uneasily, almost uncomfortable. “I forget you guys are, like, married. And you’re only, what, eighteen?”
“I’m nineteen.” Cardan corrected.
“Like that makes much of a difference.” Vivienne snorted.
“ Okay !” Jude snapped, putting Oak down. “I’ve heard enough judgment on my marriage. We’ll stay the night if that’s really what everyone wants.” Everyone but Jude seemed to agree, much to her chagrin. “Cardan, are we going or not?”
“We’re going.” He rolled his eyes. His wife could be so demanding at times. He loathed and lusted over it all the same. He was a sick man.
“ Ooh , where are you guys going? Anywhere fun?” Heather asked, mortally curious.
Jude shrugged dismissively. “Wherever. It won’t take much to impress him.”
Cardan shoved an elbow into her side, earning him one right back in return.
“You guys are honestly the weirdest couple ever.” Vivienne regarded their behavior dubiously, and waved them off while taking a sip from her mug. “Have fun, do drugs, get wasted— what else?”
“A-Aren’t you supposed to be telling them the opposite of that? They’re only eighteen .” Heather’s voice was pitched up with thinly veiled horror.
“I’m nineteen.” Cardan corrected for the second time.
“It doesn’t matter!” Jude huffed, snatching his hand in hers and pulling him back towards the front door. Their exit to the mortal realm. “We’re leaving. We won’t do drugs, we won’t get wasted, and we’ll have fun. Happy?”
“Thanks.” Heather winced. Vivienne threw an arm around her, shooting Jude a shrewd glare.
“Okay. Bye.” She nodded in return, pulling the door open and slamming it shut behind them, exhaling a long drawn breath whilst they stood on the porch. “I hate you for making me do this.”
Cardan smirked, intertwining their fingers. “Where to first?”
Jude could pretend all she wanted, but her mortal skin would always flush at his touch, and he would never fail to notice.
“The park.”
Cardan would admit, he had no idea what a park was. He supposed that was the fun of this trip. In the mortal realm, he was an ordinary nineteen year old boy. Everything was at his fingertips, even here. Even without a title.
“This is a park.” Jude stopped in front of a vibrantly colorful structure of some sort. It was shiny, smelled a bit like plastic, and twisted into the oddest shapes. It was wonderful. “Smaller mortals play on these. Vivi brings Oak here a lot.”
Cardan relinquished his grip on her hand, stepping closer towards the structure. “Have you ever been on one?”
“Me?” Jude asked, sounding dumbfounded. “Not in a while. I’m too big. I usually sit on the swings.” She seemed to want to divert his attention, but he was not having it.
“I’m getting on.” Cardan announced, beginning to climb the ladder that would take him to the very top of the structure. The jet black denim jeans he wore in favor of his more loose fitting pantaloons hindered his movements, still unused to the feeling of mortal clothing. They were very uncomfortable.
“Cardan—!” Jude called, sounding horrified.
Cardan glanced down at her and smirked, beckoning her with a nod of his head. “Come up with me. Nobody’s here to see.”
“That’s not—! Oh, whatever.” She huffed, once again not putting up much of a fight, and climbing up after him. “I hate you.”
Cardan’s heart fluttered at her words. He was a sick man, indeed.
Once they’d made it to the top, the view of the park was severely underwhelming. With how high the structure seemed, he figured he would have gotten a much better view of the entirety of Maine. Severely underwhelming was putting it lightly.
“Okay. Now what?” Jude huffed, sitting with him on the third story of the structure.
“Well, now we head down using this contraption. Is that not its purpose?” Cardan said, pointing towards a contraption slanted towards the ground.
“The slide? You want to go down the slide?” Jude asked, a surprised laugh intermingled between her words. “You’re so strange.”
Cardan frowned, only slightly offended. “You will not ruin my day with your negativity.”
At this, he expected Jude to kick him in the shins, or screw an elbow into his side in retaliation. What absolutely confounded him was that she did neither. Instead, she did the last thing he expected Jude to do. She agreed .
“Fine, okay.” She sighed defeatedly, as though brushing over the mere fact that she had conceded to him . This was a big day. His day. “Let’s go down the stupid slide.”
Cardan kept his mouth shut on the subject, worried if he spoke of it out loud she would stop. And he did not want her to stop.
“Sit in front of me. We’ll go down together.” He said, patting the space between his thighs invitingly.
Jude frowned. “You should sit in front of me. It’s your first time going down a slide, you should get the full experience.”
“But then that would just look silly. I’m bigger than you.”
“So?”
Cardan huffed. “Jude, do not make this more difficult than it needs to be. It is my day, and whatever I say goes. I want you in front. That’s the end of it.”
Jude squinted, and for a second he feared he’d used up all of his luck. Though, not a moment later, Jude begrudgingly inched herself towards him until she wound up between Cardan’s legs, just as he intended for her to be. She fit perfectly.
Instinctively, Cardan wrapped his arms around her midsection, grinning something sharp at the way she glowed. He loved teasing her.
“Ready?” He murmured into her ear, just to add to the teasing.
Jude pinched the inner part of his thigh, evoking an undignified yelp out of him. Cardan retaliated, pinching her side and took great pleasure in watching her squirm.
“Push us down or I will strangle you.” Jude warned. Her words practically meant nothing. Mortals had the ability to lie. But when it came to Jude and threats of violence, one could almost always expect her to see it through.
“Rude.” Cardan huffed.
He scooted them both forward until they were at the very edge of the slide. Gravity took over in the events that occurred after. They slid down with ease, the rush of the descent nothing in comparison to the feeling of stepping over into the mortal realm. Though, he could see why it would appeal to the mortal children of Maine. He wondered if it had ever appealed to Jude.
Entrapped against him, a sweet little giggle spilled from the lips of the divine being he had the pleasure of calling his wife. Cardan sat as still as he could, terrified to disrupt her. Jude rarely laughed— let alone out loud. It was a nice sound.
“That was fun.” She said through her giggles, standing from the slide, and facing him, still grinning. How utterly, devastatingly gorgeous. “How was it? Did you like it?”
Cardan stood, still a bit distracted by her etherealness. “It was pleasant.” He couldn’t say much more. The words felt stuck in his throat.
Jude hummed, pushing her lovely chestnut brown hair out of her face. “Are you getting hungry?”
Cardan shrugged. “I suppose I could eat. What did you have in mind?”
Jude smirked, and suddenly he felt a lot less in control.
“McDonald’s.”
McDonald’s was apparently some sort of food establishment that most mortals enjoyed on a regular basis. Cardan found the concept of traveling to fetch dinner a bit strange, but Jude seemed thrilled on showing him this specific mortal custom. He’d endure it for her sake, and a bit for his own. He was hungry, after all.
“This,” Jude paused in front of a small building decorated in stripes of red and yellow. “Is McDonald’s.”
“My interest has been piqued.” He was being truthful. He would not lie. Moreover, he could not lie. Jude knew this, and with it she seemed more pleased at his words.
She led them inside the red and yellow building, and instantly the smell of grease and meat filled his nose. It was a bit overwhelming at first, the smell, though eventually, his stomach truly began to make itself known. Anything would have tasted good.
Jude took the lead, and Cardan allowed her. He thought it to be foolish had he tried to take the reins here.
“Welcome to McDonald’s, what can I get for you today?” A young man called Tony stood at the epicenter of the building, wearing a ridiculously bright red shirt and a black backwards cap.
“One of everything, please.” Jude said plainly, handing over a single glamoured leaf, most likely to appear as ordinary mortal currency to the untrained eye.
The boy, Tony, blinked and took the leaf, filing it into a machine of some sorts with stacks of real mortal currency.
“All that food for one person? You must have a big appetite, little lady.” Cardan did not like the way this Tony was speaking to his wife. He knew that tone of voice, he’d used that tone of voice with her before. He did not like this one bit. And neither did Jude, it seemed.
“Uh, well, I am here with my boyfriend.” Jude said, nudging her chin over her shoulder in Cardan’s direction.
Cardan towered beside her now, a possessive arm thrown around her shoulders and a scowl marred into the contours of his face. He knew how intimidating he looked, even with the glamour, and while he detested it at times, now was certainly not one of those times.
Tony seemed to shrivel into his shirt and mutter something along the lines of sorry .
After ordering and receiving their feast, the pair of them sat at a nearby table and admired their spread hungrily. There was an abundance of food, and all of it looked surprisingly appetizing. That could have also just been his hunger speaking for him, but that mattered naught.
“What do you want to try first? You’re going to have to take a bite of everything to get the full McDonald’s experience.” Jude said, gesturing across the tabletop.
“What is this?” He held up a plastic cup filled to the brim with a tanned liquid, white froth and brown drizzling sitting atop it.
Jude’s eyes seemed to light up at the prompt. “Try it.”
Cardan eyed her dubiously, but took a sip of the drink nonetheless, swallowing down a sugary mouthful of it. He cringed, coughing at the intensity of the sweetness.
“What is that ?” He croaked, earnestly taking the cup of clear liquid ( water ) that was offered to him and gulping it down to wash the taste of liquid sugar out of his mouth.
Jude giggled from across the table, finding great pleasure in his discomfort. “A caramel frappuccino.”
“Even the name sounds disgusting.” Cardan insulted, so far unimpressed by the food and drinks McDonalds had to offer. “What do you think I’ll like? And, please, no teasing. I’m quite famished.”
Jude wordlessly obeyed his plea. He hoped she would. “Here. This you’ll like.”
She pushed forward a meat and cheese sandwich of some sort. It appeared messy and poorly made, but it smelled divine.
Cardan picked up the sandwich between his fingers and took a hulking bite from it, chewing on it thoughtfully. He hummed without meaning to, swallowing down his bite and immediately going in for a second one. He was starving, he hadn’t realized.
Jude watched him closely, a smile creeping its way onto her face. “That’s called a cheeseburger. You like cheeseburgers.”
“It’s so good.” He agreed through a bite. He swallowed and took a sip of his water. “What do you usually eat from McDonald’s?”
Jude blinked, seemingly surprised at the sudden prompt. “Chicken nuggets. They’ve always been my favorite, even as a child.”
Cardan perked at this, though tried his best not to show it. Jude made herself scarce whenever it came to details about her childhood. Hypocritically, so did he. Though, his childhood was an entirely different story. It might not make for the best lunch conversation.
“Then eat up.” Cardan prompted. “Our date is far from over.”
Jude rolled her eyes, and did as she was told.
Graciously, Jude allowed him to pick the final stop of their date. And for their final stop, Cardan chose the mall. An odd choice for a nineteen year old High King of the Fae, but he knew what he was doing.
Vivienne had given him the idea the last time she visited Elfhame for Jude’s birthday.
The mall was a department store of enormous proportions. And inside the mall was a shop that exclusively sold mortal undergarments. Lingerie as it was often referred to. Jude owned a good amount of mortal undergarments, but none that were made specifically for the act of sex.
And Cardan would absolutely love to see her in some. Hence, why they were standing in front of a store entitled Pink . Just from where they stood on the outside of the shop, Cardan spotted a few garments that he imagined would look stunning against Jude’s tanned skin. The only problem was actually stepping inside.
Jude was not having any of it.
“I am going to kill you. And when we go home, I’m going to kill you again, and again, and again until you are nothing.” She threatened, and this time he knew she truly meant it.
Cardan frowned nonetheless. “Unless you would like me to head in by myself, which I have no problem doing, you will have to hold out on the killing.”
“You wouldn’t.” Jude squirmed. She knew.
Cardan smirked cunningly. “It’s impossible for me to lie.”
Jude’s face burned bright red. “Cardan, this is insane, even for you.”
“It’s my day.” He recalled cooly, taking her hand and leading the pair of them inside Pink . “I’ll be quick. I already know which ones I want for you.”
“You’re such a pervert.” Jude grumbled, her skin glowing red once more as they fully passed the threshold, a sweet perfumed scent filling his nose. It wasn’t exactly unpleasant, but it was definitely overbearing.
“I don’t recall that being something you dislike about me.” Cardan miffed, b-lining towards a display of solid black undergarments. “You would look ravishing in this, Jude.”
“Do not open your mouth until we leave.”
“I will do no such thing.” He snorted, finding her embarrassment amusing. “There was a navy blue set I saw. We’re getting one of those, and a red one.”
“You say we like we’re going to share them.” Jude huffed, trying to get under his skin. It wouldn’t work. He was much too happy to let that happen.
“I view wearing lingerie as a two person activity.” He hummed, picking up the navy blue set he’d mentioned and then heading straight for the red. “You will wear and I will tear.”
Just said nothing for a moment and he was foolish enough to think he’d bested her. He, of course, was wrong.
“Bold of you to assume you’ll be able to convince me to model them for you after this.” She grumbled in return. “You’ll be lucky to sleep in the same room as me.”
Cardan gulped and withheld his pleas. He knew she was serious. And he was in trouble.
The undergarments were left untouched for a good while. It was a shame, though he supposed he deserved it. However, he hadn’t suggested a trip up to the mortal realm for something as silly as sexy underwear.
Their trip taught him things he wouldn’t have ever discovered otherwise. Such as the fact that he absolutely detested coffee and somehow loved cheeseburgers. Though, even that seemed unimportant now. He didn’t care for himself at all, that was not the point of their trip.
Cardan learned about Jude. Small, scarce details about her short life as a mortal in the mortal realm. She liked slides, and chicken nuggets, and apparently detested lingerie. It all must have seemed so silly and unimportant. They were High King and High Queen after all, for what use did that information have?
None. None at all. And yet Cardan was still glad to have obtained it. To have that little piece of Jude all to himself.