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"Why are you always alone?" Dazai looked up to see a boy with the brightest appearance he'd possibly seen. His hair almost looked like fire, and he had the brightest blue eyes. The only thing not bright about him were his clothes, black jeans, and a black band tee shirt. But for someone Like Dazai, who's always seen the world in muted shades, it was practically blinding.
"I like being alone." Dazai responded to his classmate, whose name he never bothered to learn.
"Doesn't it get tiring?" Yes of course it was tiring, but so was living, and breathing. But obviously, Dazai wasn't going to say any of that so he settled for what he did best, lying.
"No."
"I don't believe you." The boy said, his nose scrunching with distaste. Dazai's eyes widened, surprise evident on his face. No one had called his bluff before, either no one was brave enough or no one could see through his facade. Either way, this boy was different. Whether it was a good or bad thing Dazai wasn't sure. "Can I sit here?" He asked, gesturing towards the empty patch of grass beside Dazai.
"You can, but that doesn't mean I'll talk to you. I'm trying to read." Dazai said, turning his attention back to his book. To his surprise the boy didn't leave, he quietly settled down beside him.
When the bell rang to signal the end of recess both boys got up and without a word went their separate ways.
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Three months have passed, three months of the redhead finding whatever corner Dazai had secluded himself to and sitting beside him. There weren't any words shared. Sometimes the redhead brought a notebook with him, when Dazai took a peek at it it looked like he was writing poetry. Other times he just sat there, watching the other kids, most likely his friends, playing games.
"Why do you keep doing this?" Dazai asked finally, the question had been plaguing his mind constantly, even keeping him awake at night.
"Whatcha mean?" The boy asked, looking up from his notebook.
"I've been ignoring you but you haven't stopped sitting with me." Dazai elaborated.
"Doesn't matter." The boy shrugged. "You can still have human companionship without words."
"I feel like you have ulterior motives." Dazai said looking at the boy with a sharp gaze. The boy shrugged again.
"Rumors are going around about you, stupid shit that only middle schoolers could come up with. But still, everyone's acting like your the plague."
"So I'm a charity case to you?" Dazai asked, he was aware of the rumors, although he couldn't care less. There was one that he was hiding a highly contagious disease under his bandages. Another one said that the empty look in his eyes must mean that he's killed someone, or at least that he's part of a gang. What twelve-year-old would be part of a gang?
"No." The boy said simply, in a tone that made Dazai want to believe him. "You interest me, I want to learn more about you."
"You can't learn anything about me if I don't talk." Dazai deflected.
"Yes, I can. I can learn what kind of books you like, how you get a little smile on your face when you get to a good part. I know you hate school, you're always looking out the window during class. But yet every time the teacher calls on you, you know the answer. You don't seem like the type to study, so you must just be naturally smart. I know your name's Dazai, and you seem to hate it when people call you by your first name."
"Unfair." Dazai mumbled. "I don't even know your name."
"Chuuya." The boy answered simply, when Dazai looked over Chuuya was smiling at him.
"First name basis?" Dazai asked, kind of surprised.
"Just like you don't like your first name, I don't like my last." Chuuya answered simply.
"Well, Chuuya." Dazai said when the bell signifying the end of recess rang. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow." Chuuya chuckled.
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Dazai's hands clenched on his lunch tray, he could do this. It wasn't a big deal. He stared hard at the lunch table across the room, where Chuuya was talking animatedly about something with three of his friends. There was a black-haired girl, who was sitting beside a ginger boy with a bandaid over his nose. A black-haired boy that looked a lot like the girl, besides the white tips in his hair, sat beside Chuuya. The seat on the opposite side of the redhead was open.
Chuuya had brought up multiple times that Dazai should start sitting with him at lunch, he was always chastizing him that he needed to start socializing. He didn't need socialization, most of the time he hid in the bathroom to avoid the noise of the dining hall.
But now it felt different, he was so used to the redhead beside him even in the quiet moments that now it felt lonely without him. He couldn't tell Chuuya about the good parts of the novel he was reading if the boy wasn't there. He caught himself multiple times looking over, mouth open about to say something, only to remember no one was there except for the stall door.
For the first time ever, Dazai didn't want to be alone.
"Get the fuck over here beanpole!" Chuuya's voice broke him out of his thoughts, he'd probably been standing there for five minutes by now. Chuuya's friends were looking at him with concerned looks, but they weren't disgusted. That was a good thing.
He cautiously approached the table and set his tray down, his book down beside it. Chuuya leaned over and glanced at it.
"The complete guide to suicide?" He questioned.
"It's fascinating.." Dazai said quietly, his gaze below him on his food.
"I guess. Just don't be getting any thoughts in that head of yours." Chuuya said flicking his forehead. It wasn't hard enough to hurt but it still left Dazai stunned for a second.
He was planning on trying out some methods from the book, but maybe he would hold off a little longer. At least until Chuuya grew tired of him, it shouldn't be too long after all.
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Dazai sat on the sidewalk outside of the school, deep in thought, and completely drenched. The rain was cold and seeped straight through his clothes, but he didn't notice.
It was two years since Chuuya decided to sit beside him on that day. And much to Dazai's surprise, the redhead hadn't gotten tired of him yet. They still sat together at lunch, and they even started sitting beside each other during all the classes they shared.
It was surprising, but Dazai didn't know what he would do with himself if Chuuya decided to toss him away. Every time he was around the redhead everything was bright like he was seeing color for the first time. His chest always felt warm too, and he couldn't stop himself from staring.
Dazai was aware of what was going on, he's been reading romance novels a lot lately after all.
He was in love.
Although he would never admit it aloud. What a ridiculous concept, Osamu Dazai being in love.
"You look like a mackerel out here." Speak of the devil and he shall appear.
"If I'm a mackerel you're a slug." Dazai looked up, and when his eyes met the object of his affection he felt his cheeks go red, he hoped Chuuya would assume it was because of the cold.
"I'm not even going to ask what you mean by that. What are you doing out here?" Chuuya asked, kneeling beside him like he was consoling a smiling child. Maybe that's what Dazai was to him, a small child throwing a tantrum.
"My parents were supposed to pick me up." Dazai explained, looking towards the empty child pickup lane.
"Doesn't look like that's happening." Chuuya said, following Dazai's gaze. Of course, Dazai knew at this point they weren't going to show, it was an hour past pickup time. Plus they usually didn't show. But in the case that they did actually show, he didn't want to risk their wrath if he started walking home.
"No. It never happens." Dazai sighed. He pushed his way to his feet, his cold limbs protesting the movement.
"Do they leave you here often then? I've never seen you waiting out here before." Chuuya asked curiously.
"Most days." Dazai shrugged as if it didn't matter to him. It honestly didn't, he never expected much from his parents anyways. They never missed an opportunity to remind him he was never wanted after all. "I usually give up and walk home by now. What are you doing here? Did your ride ditch you too?"
"Nah. I have soccer practice after school. My sister's coming to pick me up." Just as he said it a small, beat-up-looking, black car pulled up in front of the school. "That's her. Do you want a ride home?"
"No thanks. I was planning on walking around town for a few hours." Dazai said, already starting to walk away from the redhead. A hand grabbing ahold of his arm stopped him.
"I'm not letting you walk around in the rain. You're going to end up freezing to death. He hesitated a moment before he added. "Why don't you come over to my house? I just got a new video game I think you'll like."
"Are you sure?" Dazai asked, somewhat surprised. He thought what was going on between them only existed at school, they'd known each other for two years after all and never once have they hung out outside of school.
"Of course." Chuuya grinned. "I've been meaning to ask you to come over sometime, I just didn't know how to ask. So are you in?"
"Of course, I'm in." Dazai grinned back.
"Good. I can't wait to kick your ass at street fighter."
"Such brave words for a tiny man." Dazai laughed as Chuuya forcibly shoved him into the backseat of his sister's car.
"I'm not tiny, dumbass." He huffed, shoving Dazai over so he could crawl into the seat beside him.
"Chuuya be nice to your friend." His sister chastised, but Dazai could see her smiling through the rearview mirror. "You're Dazai right?"
"Yeah." Dazai confirmed, he wondered how Chuuya's sister knew who he was.
"Chuuya talks about you all the time." She said, answering Dazai's unasked question.
"Ane-san." Chuuya whined, covering his face with his hands. It was so out of character for Chuuya that it made Dazai giggle.
"All bad things I assume." He said even though from Chuuya's reaction he knew that wasn't true.
"Of course, it's all bad things." Chuuya muttered, his face was uncovered now but he was looking out the window.
There was still a small smile on his face.
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"Dazai, are you okay?" Dazai looked up to see Atsushi standing over his desk with a worried expression on his face.
"Of course I'm okay." Dazai said, forcing himself to give his mentee a bright smile.
"If you're not feeling up to it we don't have to do tutoring tonight." Dazai must not have put a good enough mask on.
But he was tired, and as much as he liked tutoring Atsushi the idea sounded exhausting.
"I'll have to take you up on that offer." Dazai said, still forcing a smile. "I can use the opportunity to catch up on sleep." The bell rang, signifying that lunch had started.
"I'll see you Monday then Dazai." Atsushi gave a small wave as he walked out of the classroom.
The kid was a few years younger than him, a high school freshman. But as soon as he heard Dazai had the highest marks in the school, he practically begged him to tutor him. Dazai didn't understand it, Atsushi wasn't stupid, and he already had good grades. But he had terrible self-esteem and thought he needed it. Dazai tried to boost his ego whenever possible, but not much changed.
The idea of lunch with Chuuya and his friends sounds exhausting right now, so he went back to his old ways. Sitting on the floor in the bathroom, the farthest away from the dining hall, with a book in his hands.
He was only sitting there for ten minutes before the door to the bathroom opened and someone sat down beside him.
"You don't have to give up your lunch to babysit me." Dazai quietly said. He didn't understand why Chuuya always did this, he's had his friend group for longer than he and Dazai had been friends. So why did he keep ditching them for him?
"I enjoy babysitting you." Dazai could imagine the eye roll Chuuya was giving him, even without looking up. "You worried Atsushi."
"Don't know why." Dazai grumbled, his masks worked on everyone else, what was so special about these two?
"You're not as sly as you think Mackeral," Chuuya said. Dazai sighed, putting down his book. "Scale of 1-10?"
"5 or 6." It wasn't bad today, he could still function. He's been through worse days, where he didn't have the motivation to get out of bed. Instead of going to school on those days, he'd show up on Chuuya's doorstep, Kouyou always let him in, even when Chuuya wasn't there. She would let him sleep on the couch until the redhead got home. When Chuuya came home after school he would always ask how bad it was, on a scale of 1-10. If it was anywhere from 8-10, Chuuya would usually let Dazai lay on his lap, running his hands through his hair. If it was lower they would usually sit in Chuuya's room and play video games all night.
Somehow along the way he became adopted into their little family, he was there more often than at his own house after all. It was just Chuuya and his sister. Dazai learned after a few months of consistently staying over that their parents disappeared when Kouyou was sixteen, and Chuuya was only seven.
After that he tried not to complain about his parents too much, they may be shitty but at least they provided for him.
"Do you want to ditch and go to the arcade?" Chuuya asked.
"What kind of question is that? Of course, I do." Dazai said a genuine smile on his face.
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"Hey, kid." Dazai stopped walking and looked behind him, a tall, stocky built man was staring at him.
"Yes?" Dazai asked a cold look in his brown eyes.
"You got any money on you?" The man asked, coming closer.
"You're asking a high school student for money?" Dazai laughed, most would be afraid in this situation but he didn't care what happened to him. But the punch that hit him square in the nose surprised him, although he didn't let it phase him.
"I'm not asking, I'm demanding. You look like a little rich boy. Now cough it u-" The man was cut off with a kick straight to his back that sent him toppling to the ground.
"Go pick on someone else asshole." Chuuya yelled before grabbing Dazai's hand and pulling him away. "I leave you alone for one goddamn second." Chuuya muttered.
"Chuuya, don't be mean to me right now, I'm injured." Dazai whined, his nose hurt like hell, and he could feel blood dripping down onto his shirt.
"Shit, hold on we're almost back to my house." Chuuya said, giving one look at Dazai before he started hurrying their pace. Dazai blocked his nose with his arm so it would stop dripping. He would have to get rid of this shirt, and his parents would kill him if they thought he was in a fight. Something about damaging their reputation.
"Go sit in the bathroom, I'm gonna grab the first aid kit." Chuuya said, as soon as they walked in the door. Dazai silently obeyed, walking up the stairs to the bathroom and sitting down on the toilet. He brought his arm down from his nose to see that his bandages were stained in blood. He would have to ask for new ones, he knew Kouyou kept extra for the nights when he stayed over. He hated sleeping in grimy bandages.
"Does it feel broken?" Chuuya asked, dabbing a cotton ball around the area to clean the blood off.
"Dunno, I've never had a broken nose before." Dazai admitted, wincing when Chuuya accidentally used too much pressure.
"Sorry." Chuuya said, using a lighter touch.
"Chuuya should kiss it better." Dazai said it was half joking, half serious. There were so many days when he would lie awake, staring at Chuuya's sleeping face tempted to kiss every single one of his freckles. But he never acted on it, he didn't know if Chuuya felt the same way about him. A small, gentle touch of lips to the tip of his nose broke him out of his thoughts. Dazai opened his eyes to see bright blue eyes, so close to his own. He felt his entire face grow red as Chuuya pulled away, a grin on his face.
"You didn't expect me to actually do it?" He laughed, before he was cut off by Dazai grabbing his shirt collar and forcibly pulling him down. His intention was to kiss Chuuya properly, but instead, Chuuya ended up headbutting his injured nose.
"Shit!" Dazai yelled, letting go of Chuuya in favor of holding his hands over his injury.
"What the fuck Mackeral!" Chuuya exclaimed, he sounded pissed.
"I'm sorry! I misread the situation!" Dazai rushed to apologize.
"What do you mean you misread the situation? What were you even trying to do? Break your nose further?" Chuuya asked, now that Dazai looked at him, he looked more concerned than anything.
"I was trying to kiss you." Dazai mumbled, embarrassed. To his surprise, Chuuya started laughing. "Stop laughing I was trying to be seductive!" Dazai whined.
"That's the least seductive thing you could have done." Chuuya said in-between giggles.
"You aren't mad?" Dazai asked, just to make sure.
"Of course, I'm not mad, I've wanted to kiss you for years." Chuuya admitted, his cheeks tinged a bit red.
"Oh." Dazai said in surprise, as Chuuya got closer to him.
"How about we do this properly, Osamu?" Dazai didn't even have time to comprehend the use of his first name before Chuuya was pressing his lips to his.
It was as good as he imagined it would be.
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"Honey I'm home!" Dazai called into their shared apartment, moving away from Yokohama and getting an apartment together hadn't been as big of a change as Dazai expected, he practically lived at Chuuya's house anyways, even more after they officially started dating.
"Stop calling me honey!" Chuuya yelled, it sounded like it was coming from the bedroom.
"Got it darling!" Dazai could hear a groan as he made his way toward the voice. He was right, Chuuya was in the bedroom. The door was left cracked so Dazai pushed it open. "Did you miss-" He started but cut himself off when he saw what was waiting for him. There were rose petals scattered all over the bed, some were even on the floor. Chuuya was laying on his side in the middle, an irritated expression on his face. Dazai's gaze was drawn away from his boyfriend, and to the small black ring box sitting open in front of him.
Dazai couldn't help it, he started laughing.
"You've gotta be kidding me." Chuuya grumbled, his mood souring.
"I didn't expect you to ever be this sappy." Dazai tried to stifle his giggles, he could tell Chuuya was getting irritated.
"Aren't you supposed to be sappy for these kinds of things?" He asked, sitting up.
"I don't know I've never been proposed to before." Dazai said, approaching the bed to look at the ring, it wasn't too flashy, just a simple black band. It was perfect.
"With that kind of reaction that's not shocking. So what do you say?" Chuuya asked, making finally making eye contact with his boyfriend.
"Of course, I'll marry you Chuuya. I can't imagine a world without you by my side." Dazai barely got the words out before Chuuya practically crushed him in a tight hug. "Sorry I scared you." Dazai admitted, running his hands through his fiance's hair affectionately.
"It's fine. It was a typical reaction, For a second there I thought you were going to turn me down." Chuuya's words were muffled by Dazai's shirt.
"Never in a million years would I reject you." Dazai said. He let Chuuya burrow into his shirt for a few minutes before he broke the silence. "Hey, Chuuya." The man hummed to show he was listening. "Aren't couples supposed to kiss when they get engaged?"
"After that? You're not getting another kiss until our wedding day." Chuuya teased while releasing Dazai and stepping away from him.
"Chuuya! I don't think I can live that long without your kisses." Dazai pouted.
"Fine." Chuuya gave in, he had to stand on his tiptoes to reach Dazai's mouth. But Dazai didn't have a chance to tease him about it before Chuuya pressed their lips together.
He would have to tease him about it later, Chuuya would always be there after all.