Chapter Text
Dazai impatiently tapped his foot and looked at the time on his phone. Yet another day, yet another infallible plan to drive Chuuya crazy, he thought to himself and started cheerfully humming a song.
It was a simple, but flawless plan.
Step one: sneak into Chuuya’s apartment while he’s at work and throw away all his cigarettes, including the ones in the secret stash Dazai doesn’t know about.
Step two: wait for Chuuya to come back home and change his clothes — this part was particularly important. Dazai had chosen this day knowing precisely that Chuuya would be coming home from a messy mission, and there was nothing he hated more than being covered in blood and guts. Naturally, he will jump into the shower the moment he sets his tiny foot into his house.
Step three: wait for Chuuya to crave a cigarette, just to find absolutely none in his apartment.
Step four: take a picture of Chuuya walking to the convenience store in his home clothes. No, take dozens of pictures of Chuuya walking to the convenience store in his hideous loungewear. After all, given Chuuya’s shallow peacock nature, he would absolutely hate it if people saw candid photos of him in anything other than his carefully selected high-end attire.
Step five: Celebrate yet another victory over the angry slug.
Dazai giggled and covered his mouth with his hand. Engulfed in his joyful fantasies about taunting Chuuya, he nearly missed the moment the front door of his apartment building opened and the scruffy chibi emerged from his apartment building, uglier than eve-
Oh, fuck.
Chuuya had a clearly annoyed look on his face, but Dazai forgot to indulge in the wonderful feeling of driving the chibi mad, all his attention drawn to Chuuya’s hideous, stupid, unflattering outfit – he’d never seen anything this nonsensical in his life. The world around him swirled as his vision tunnelled on Chuuya, his eyes hungrily taking in every single thing about him.
Of course, it was just second-hand embarrassment from how absurd Chuuya looked.
This was exactly the reason why Dazai couldn’t stop staring, forgetting how to breathe at the sight just across the street from him.
It wasn’t the fact that Chuuya was wearing goddamn grey sweatpants, accentuating his muscular legs and ass just right.
It wasn’t the fact that Chuuya’s black V-neck was hugging his torso in all the right places, revealing his clavicles, his abs showing under the fabric as he moved, short sleeves just the perfect length to show off his toned biceps.
It wasn’t the fact that Chuuya’s hair was up in a messy bun, and - oh, shit - he wasn’t wearing his choker, leaving his neck bare and open, revealed in its full glory, so kissab- biteab- Punchable.
Dazai’s phone and all his genius blackmailing plans were long forgotten as he stood thunderstruck and watched Chuuya enter the convenience store, unable to take his eyes off his perky ass, small waist and wide shoulders. Shit, it was as if Chuuya did it on purpose, just to deter Dazai from his important mission.
When Chuuya came out of the store with a carton of cigarettes in his hand, Dazai snapped back to reality, suddenly remembering the reason why he was spending his day off lurking in the shadows near Chuuya’s apartment. He tried to unlock his phone with shaky hands to finally take the picture worth a million yen, but his eyes kept involuntarily darting to the hideous sight across the road from him, particularly to the prominent bulge in Chuuya’s sweatpants. He couldn’t help but marvel at the size of his package, wondering if that was where his growth spurt went to, when he finally registered:
Chuuya was walking toward him.
Dazai cursed internally and shoved the phone into his pocket, plastering a wide smile across his face.
“Chuuya! What an unexp-“
His cheerful greeting was cut off when Chuuya grabbed his arm and dragged him into the alleyway, shoving him against the wall, the impact punching the air out of Dazai’s lungs.
“Do you, by any chance, know,” Chuuya hissed instead of a greeting, abruptly letting go of Dazai’s arm, “why the fuck have all my cigarettes disappeared into thin air?”
Feeling a burning sensation where Chuuya’s hand had squeezed his arm, Dazai stroked his chin thoughtfully, trying his best not to ogle Chuuya in his ridiculously ugly outfit. It was quite a difficult task, if you asked him: particularly with the way Chuuya’s t-shirt clung to his ridiculous pecs, his fucking nipples poking through it, and as the cherry on top of Chuuya’s exceptional ugliness — a hint of faint ginger hair peeking from under the t-shirt’s neck.
Dazai swallowed, suddenly feeling awfully thirsty, and smiled.
“Well… Might have to do something with the fact you’re a terrible chain smoker?” he chirped, praying to all the gods to stop the blood rushing to the nether regions of his body. Honestly, the last thing he needed right now was popping a boner because of an angry chibi standing way too close and his ridiculous looks.
“I think I know what went on here,” Chuuya snapped, fishing the phone out of Dazai’s pocket and shaking it in front of his face. “You might be a smart-ass, but I’m not an idiot, either. Could it be that you’d stolen all my cigs, trying to make me come out of the house and take "compromising" pictures of me? Does it sound about right, hm?”
Dazai blinked innocently, tilting his head to the side like a puppy. A whiff of wind brought the faint smell of Chuuya’s warm, spicy perfume to Dazai’s nose, and he involuntarily leaned forward, instantly snapping himself out of it and straightening his back. “I can neither confirm nor deny it,” he said thoughtfully, scratching the back of his head.
“Of course!” Chuuya snarled, stomping his foot. He took a step back and threw his hands in the air. “Look at me!” he exclaimed theatrically. “I’m Dazai Osamu, and I have nothing better to do rather than harass my former workmates!”
“Partners,” Dazai corrected him, unable to resist a quiet chuckle. This was way too much like Chuuya’s signature rich girl impression that never failed to make Dazai laugh. “This is not a bad impression of me, I’ll give you that,” he said with a cheerful smile, desperately trying to view Chuuya as a clown, and not as a ridiculously hot young man wearing clothes that were way too flattering. Did he say “flattering”? Ridiculous, of course.
Chuuya took a step forward. “So, mackerel,” he murmured, poking Dazai’s chest. “Has this little cunning plan of yours worked out?” The smell of perfume got stronger the closer Chuuya leaned in, and Dazai resisted the urge to pull him close and bite the freckled skin in the crook of Chuuya’s neck. His throat got dry, and his brain short-circuited at the proximity, the heat coming off Chuuya’s body and his own body’s response making him forget the witty response he was going to fire at him.
Dazai was just a man, after all. He was just a man, and carnal human desires weren’t foreign to him.
Maybe Chuuya did turn him on. So what?
“You know what?” Dazai finally said with a raspy voice, “I think it has.”
He reached out and ran his hand across Chuuya’s chest, down to his abs, stopping when his fingers reached the waistband of his goddamn grey sweatpants. His breath hitched with anticipation when he tentatively lifted Chuuya’s shirt up and touched the soft skin of his abdomen, fingers slowly making their way under his waistband. Chuuya looked down at Dazai’s audacious hand and raised his eyes to meet Dazai’s, his pupils already blown, a feral red glint in brown eyes, a faint blush painting his cheeks rosy pink.
“Really? Was there anything else you predicted?” Chuuya murmured, eyes half-lidded, leaning closer to Dazai, feeling his underwear getting uncomfortably tight, his rapidly growing arousal fed by the jolts of electricity he felt where Dazai’s fingers touched his bare skin.
“Maybe. I don’t know,” Dazai whispered, staring at Chuuya’s slightly parted lips. “Does it really matter?”
“Not really,” Chuuya said with a smirk, feeling Dazai’s hand getting more confident, tugging on his waistband. The carton of cigarettes fell out of his hand, dropping on the concrete with a quiet thump.
Chuuya licked his lips. He put his hand on Dazai’s shoulder and pushed down — luckily, Dazai quickly got the hint. Slowly, he sank down to his knees, his eyes on the same level as the rapidly growing bulge in Chuuya’s sweatpants. Heart jumping out of his chest with anticipation, Dazai licked his lips and slowly tugged Chuuya’s sweatpants and boxers down, releasing Chuuya’s now fully erect cock from the restraints of his clothes.
Shit, Dazai thought, eyeing Chuuya’s remarkable length. “Guess your growth spurt did only go into your dick,” he murmured, and took Chuuya in his hand, gently swirling the tip of his tongue around the tip, teasing him with pressure so light, it only left him craving for more.
Chuuya raised his hand and reached out to the wall, trying to steady himself, and that was when he realised he was still holding the phone he retrieved from Dazai’s pocket.
“Wouldn’t it be ironic,” he said, unable to take his eyes off Dazai, who was now slowly dragging his tongue along the bottom of his shaft, “if I…” He gasped when Dazai took the tip of his cock in his mouth and excruciatingly slowly moved the flat of his tongue against it, firmly gripping the base with his hand. “If I took a compromising picture of you right now?” Dazai raised an eyebrow. He rolled his tongue around Chuuya’s shaft and slowly moved his fist, making Chuuya gasp and close his eyes.
“Oh, fuck you,” he muttered under his breath and shoved the phone into his pocket.
Dazai let go of Chuuya’s cock with a loud pop. “Oh no,” he murmured, looking up at Chuuya. He scooted closer and rubbed his face against Chuuya’s dick, smearing pre-come over his cheek, the pure bliss on his face making Chuuya’s cock twitch. “I must be doing a really bad job if Chuuya's still thinking about revenge.”
Chuuya took his cock in his hand and slapped Dazai’s face with it, the sudden crudeness making Dazai let out a delicious gasp. “Stop talking and take my cock like you should, will ya?” he muttered, giving Dazai a few more slaps on another cheek, harder this time. At this moment, there was nothing Chuuya wanted more than seeing Dazai’s flushed face as he took Chuuya whole in his tight throat. There was nothing he wanted more than feeling Dazai’s warm tongue working on his dick. There was nothing he wanted more than to spill inside Dazai’s perfect mouth and watch him swallow it.
Fuck, by the looks of it, Chuuya wasn’t going to last long.
Dazai looked at Chuuya’s length and licked his lips, feeling Chuuya’s eyes boring into him, his impatience evident in slight twitches of his leaking cock. Dazai took Chuuya’s dick with his hand and moved closer, opening his mouth and slowly guiding his cock inside. He paused when it reached the base of his throat and relaxed, slowly moving forward, feeling Chuuya’s girth enter his throat and persistently moving forward until his nose was buried in ginger hair. He paused and took a deep breath, adjusting and making sure he could breathe.
“Fuck,” Chuuya gasped and threw his head back. “You feel so good.” He looked down at Dazai. He slowly started to move, his throat effortlessly taking Chuuya’s length, the blissed-out expression on his face making Chuuya dizzy with desire. “Fuck, wish you could see how you look right now.” Chuuya rolled his hips forward experimentally to meet Dazai’s face, and the hotness of Dazai’s throat, along with his delicious moans, made him bite his lip, trying to ground himself. “On your knees in an alleyway, taking my cock like an obedient slut.” He took a quick glance at the end of the alleyway and the hustle and bustle of the main street. “Better make it fast if you don’t want anyone to see you.”
Much to Chuuya’s surprise, Dazai whimpered at his words and palmed his cock already straining in his pants.
“Fuck,” Chuuya whispered, “you’re into that!” Instead of an answer, Dazai moaned around Chuuya’s dick and stroked himself through his pants, a small drop of pre-come already seeping through the fabric.
Well, well, well, hadn’t he just opened a whole new world of possibilities?
“Is this what you get off to, huh, Dazai?” Chuuya continued, gripping Dazai’s hair and setting the rhythm he knew worked best for him, slowly rocking his hips into Dazai’s tight heat. “The danger? Does it hit different when you can get caught?”
Dazai let out a muffled cry and fumbled with the button on his pants, pulling the zipper down and reaching into his underwear with shaky hands. As he finally touched himself, he let out a filthy moan, the vibrations resonating in his throat making Chuuya throw his head back with a loud gasp. Chuuya heard a couple engrossed in an animated conversation walking past the alleyway entrance, and he got dizzy from the adrenaline rush that suddenly hit him. Fuck, Chuuya thought, it seems like I might be into this, too. The sudden realisation of the extent of the risk they were taking with their bodies hidden from the view by a mere pile of boxes dumped against the wall, amplified everything Chuuya heard or felt hundredfold, particularly the sensation of Dazai’s warm mouth on his cock. Overwhelmed and yearning for more, he slammed his hips forward, making Dazai make a muffled choking noise.
Brought back to reality, Chuuya stopped moving.
Dazai paused and breathed in. Slowly, he breathed out and raised his eyes to meet Chuuya’s. He slowly blinked, putting his hand on Chuuya’s thigh and squeezing lightly, encouraging him to continue.
Still, killing Dazai with his dick wasn’t in Chuuya’s plans, so he mustered all his self-control and continued with slow-paced thrusts, despite desperately needing release, despite every cell in his body urging him to let go and just fuck Dazai’s face the way he craved — fast and hard, with reckless abandon.
The noises coming from the street and occasional passers-by walking past the alleyway kept fuelling the fire in the pit of Chuuya’s stomach as he desperately tried to keep some last remaining bits of self-control. He looked down at Dazai relaxing and letting Chuuya fuck his throat, making small whimpers as he rapidly stroked himself, smearing pre-come on his entire length — this was truly the view worth a million yen, and Chuuya felt excitement bubbling in his veins when he imagined how absolutely scandalous it would be if somebody happened to see them like this.
Chuuya’s movements got jagged, and his leg muscles tensed as he kept getting closer to release with each thrust. “Maybe I should take a picture, after all,” he mused, although it was way more difficult to keep taunting Dazai now that he was almost at the edge, “just to remind you where your scheming gets you. Don’t you think, Daz-”
Drunk on Chuuya’s intoxicating taste, Dazai let out a muffled cry and squeezed his eyes shut, and with another stroke, he spilt all over himself, unable to control the volume of his moaning around Chuuya’s length. The look on Dazai’s face, the streaks of tears on his cheeks from when he choked on Chuuya’s dick, along with the vibrations around his cock, tipped Chuuya over the edge as well. With a feral groan, unable to control the volume anymore, he grabbed Dazai’s hair and came into his mouth with one last strong thrust, holding Dazai’s head in place as he rode his high.
When Chuuya finally came back to his senses, he let go of Dazai’s hair, his softening cock slipping out of Dazai’s mouth. Chuuya watched Dazai stand up, hungrily taking in the way his slender fingers lazily wiped saliva and a stray streak of Chuuya’s come from the corner of his mouth. Enthralled, Chuuya stared at Dazai, his muscles still twitching after his orgasm, looking absolutely filthy with the way iridescent white was staining the front of his shirt. Paying no mind to Chuuya’s hungry gaze, he tucked himself back in and zipped up his pants, nonchalantly brushing the dust off his knees. He critically looked at the stains on his clothes and finally looked into Chuuya’s eyes, sparkling amber meeting hazy blue. Dazai leaned down and dragged his fingers along Chuuya’s bicep, squeezing and leaving crescent-moon-shaped marks where his nails dug into Chuuya’s skin, making his breath hitch.
“You know,” Dazai said with a smirk, “maybe I should let my plans backfire more often.”
“Maybe you should, mackerel,” Chuuya murmured, pulling his sweatpants up and closing the gap between them, giving him a hungry kiss, savouring the taste of himself on Dazai’s tongue. He pulled away and looked at Dazai, feeling the fire in the pit of his stomach igniting again the longer he stared at the devious glint in Dazai’s eyes. “Maybe you should.”