Chapter Text
01:
Suho jerks awake in the brightly lit room and calls for Sieun.
Disquiet creeps over him when he realizes he’s alone.
He retrieves his phone from the sofa, a little surprised to find it powered off and turns it back on. He calls Sieun. He calls Youngyi. As the ringing continues, he paces around the room, staring at all the uneaten food.
When neither of them pick up, Suho sits back on the sofa. He turns the playstation back on and tries to concentrate on the game. Within seconds, he pauses it and calls Sieun again. And again. And again.
There’s no answer.
He rubs his face, checks the time, packs up all the uneaten food and leaves.
He’s outside the building, placing the food in the back of his scooter when his phone rings. He fumbles, almost drops it. It’s Youngyi.
He’s ready to scold her properly, but her voice is choked and full of tears when she says, “Sieun-a, Sieun-a, what are we going to do?”
Suho’s heart stops.
—
He doesn’t really remember the rest of the conversation or the ride to the hospital or how he reaches the correct room.
He remembers coming to a halt, panting, heart racing, upon seeing Youngyi sitting on a bench. She looks up at him with swollen tearful eyes. He looks from her to the closed door, and within the next moment, he’s pushing it open.
There’s a roaring in his ears. He can’t make himself walk into the room.
Machines beep, a steady ping—ping—ping, and breathe a mechanical breath for Sieun. Sieun lies motionless, face bruised and head bandaged.
He’s drawn out of his head when the man standing at the foot of the bed asks, “Who are you?”
“Ahn Suho,” he manages to mumble, “Sieun’s friend.”
“The one in whose place Sieun went to see those attackers?” the woman asks.
“What?” Suho asks. His hands start shaking.
—
Sieun’s parents don’t like Suho visiting.
He understands completely, after he gets the whole story out of Youngyi. He doesn’t like himself being close to Sieun either.
But he can’t stop.
He tries, he does, but there’s a vibration inside him, a constant thrum of anxiety that follows him everywhere he goes. If he focuses on it even the slightest bit, he feels like his chest with collapse because of all the pressure. Sometimes his breath stutters, muscles trembling in ways he cannot control.
If he doesn’t stop by the hospital after school or after his part-time job before going home, he cannot function properly.
And every time he catches sight of Sieun, lying there— so pale and close to death— he can’t stop the tears pouring out of him. He feels like he has to deliberately hold himself together so he won’t just ooze out of his body.
He bites the inside of his lip and sometimes the pain is the only thing keeping him from breaking completely.
At first, either of Sieun’s parents stay in the room during the nights. Late at night, after finishing his shift, Suho apologizes for disturbing them before sneaking a quick look at Sieun, pale and withdrawn, but heart still beating.
Sieun’s mother gives him dirty looks; Sieun’s father pretends Suho doesn’t exist.
But they can’t stop him from visiting.
Two nights after his birthday, there’s no one else in the room when he comes to visit late at night. Suho collapses wearily onto the sofa, listening to that hateful beeping.
He talks, hoping Sieun can somehow hear him. He talks about his day, how his part-time jobs are going, what his grandmother cooked. He just talks until he falls asleep.
When it becomes clear that Sieun’s parents aren’t staying overnight, Suho stops by home, showers, eats, packs a change of clothes and returns to Sieun’s hospital room.
—