Chapter Text
It was the fall of 1959 in Kenosha, Wisconsin. The leaves had already turned their vibrant shades, and the trees were beginning to look barren as the season prepared to turn to winter. People were exchanging their jackets for thicker coats, bare hands for wool mittens, and sneakers for boots.
But fall wasn’t just the season of cozy sweaters and mugs of warm cider, it was also the season of the country’s beloved pastime: football. Erwin Smith, the high school quarterback for the Kenosha Trojans, was preparing for a big game against their rivals, the Racine Eagles, and tensions amongst his team were high.
Erwin had turned eighteen a little over a week ago and was in his senior year of high school. Everything always went well for Erwin: he was a straight-A student, popular with just about everybody. The star of the football team. He was a handsome, tall, built blonde with brilliant blue eyes and a charming smile. Over his four years in high school, he’d made a name for himself and made his friends and family proud.
But it was on this seemingly calm fall evening that Erwin would face problems for the first time in a long time. He’d had it pretty good for a while, so he supposed it was only normal for the universe to test him yet again.
Erwin placed his foot on the bench and tied up his white sneakers, hearing the commotion of the rest of his team as they goofed around. The boys were whipping one another with towels after a long and stressful practice in an attempt to lighten the mood a bit. Their coach had been particularly hard on them considering their rival game was coming up next weekend. The pressure of this had weighed down the entire team. But now, in the locker room, they could simply be boys again without the nagging of their coach.
Mike whipped Erwin’s ass with a towel when he wasn’t paying attention, and he yelped, straightening up and rubbing his ass with one hand as he grumbled, “Was that necessary, Mike?”
Mike and Erwin had been best friends since they were about eight years old. They’d met on the playground and practiced wrestling one another. Mike would always win, but Erwin was determined. On the day that Erwin finally overpowered Mike, they became inseparable. They had respect for one another that was akin to brotherhood.
“Yes,” Mike laughed, clapping Erwin on the back. “Don’t be a wet rag, Erwin.”
Erwin just rolled his eyes and turned away. He put on his letterman jacket, a prized possession of his. He’d gotten it just this year - now that he was on the varsity team - and it was a symbol of pride for Erwin. His mother and stepdad had been so incredibly proud of him when he’d come home wearing it. His mother had almost cried at the sight of him.
“Let’s head out,” Mike insisted. “I bet Nile’s waiting outside for us anyway.”
Nile was a close friend of Mike and Erwin’s. They’d met him during their freshman year. Initially, Erwin and Nile hadn’t gotten along because they were both at the top of the class, but they eventually put aside their differences and became friends, and any friend of Erwin’s was a friend of Mike’s too. Nile wasn’t on the football team, but he hung around them so much he might as well have been.
Sure enough, when the two of them walked up the stairs and out of the locker room, the lanky straight-laced boy was there waiting for them, reading a book. Nile and Mike shared a birthday on the first of November, both of them set to turn 18, and Erwin was excited for all of his friends to come of age so that they could enjoy the pleasures of adulthood together.
“You two take so long,” Nile grunted as he closed the book and tucked it under his arm. “I could’ve made it home by now.”
“Okay grumpy,” Mike chuckled, playfully punching Nile’s upper arm.
Nile was much more slender than Erwin and Mike, so he hissed at the punch, rubbing his arm and starting to curse Mike out. Erwin merely laughed at them, and the three began to walk away from the football field toward the neighborhood they all lived in.
They’d grown up in a suburban area outside of downtown Kenosha, a town about an hour south of Milwaukee near the border between Wisconsin and Illinois. Erwin didn’t have many complaints about the area. There were times when he wished there were more to do like in Milwaukee, but his parents urged him that big cities were places for ‘drugs, crime, and degeneracy’, so he supposed he wasn’t missing out on too much.
Erwin had his sports bag slung over his shoulder, weighed down by the textbooks and clothes he had stuffed inside haphazardly. Erwin wasn’t a messy guy, but he wasn’t very organized either. His mother often scolded him for having clothes strewn about his room but he never let it get out of control.
“So Erwin,” Mike piped up, a mischievous grin on his face. “Are you gonna ask Marie to the homecoming dance or what?”
Erwin could feel the tension rise, particularly between him and Nile. He knew that Nile liked Marie quite a bit, but she had zero interest in him in return. She was too busy being goo-goo-eyed at Erwin.
She was a real nice girl - very pretty too. Marie had long wavy brunette hair that she wore pinned in curls and a nice headband across the top of her head that always matched whatever dress she’d chosen to wear that day. Erwin couldn’t deny that she was attractive. He’d known her since they were in elementary school, and she’d… matured a lot since then. She was quite the gorgeous girl, and Erwin knew he should be lucky to have someone like that pining over him.
But he didn’t feel lucky. Whenever Marie was brought up, Erwin felt uneasy for some reason. He just couldn’t get excited about girls the way his friends did. He’d never had much of an interest in dating around - he was more focused on good grades, football practice, and other extracurricular activities.
“I… I dunno,” Erwin replied with a shrug. “Maybe.”
“Well the dance is coming up soon,” Mike reminded him. “So you should ask her before someone else snatches her up. Nana and I are going together. I asked her over milkshakes yesterday. She was thrilled.”
“Yeah…” Erwin sighed.
He was feeling anxious all of a sudden. He couldn’t place why exactly, but talking about Marie always made him nervous. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he was more being forced to ask her than asking her of his own free will. It wasn’t just his friends and teammates who insisted he ask Marie, it was his parents too. He and Marie had always been cast as an ‘ideal couple’ that just seemed ‘meant to be’. But Erwin didn’t feel that way. Or at least, he didn’t feel like he thought he should. Nothing about Marie made his heart race or made him want to sweep her off her feet. He felt bad for not having those feelings for her.
“You better ask her,” Nile piped up, already sounding irritable. “She’s been waiting for you to. She’d probably be crushed if you didn’t ask her. I… I don’t think she’d go with anyone else, to be honest.”
“Did you ask her?” Mike wondered, raising an eyebrow as the three turned onto his street first.
“No!” Nile replied defensively. “I would never- I mean… she clearly likes Erwin. So Erwin should ask her.”
Erwin stayed mostly silent, gripping the handle of his duffle bag a little tighter. He supposed every boy felt this way about romance: uncertain and queasy. Besides, he wasn’t even a boy anymore. He’d just turned 18, so he was a man now. And men asked women to dances… didn’t they?
“Well,” Mike shrugged. “What do you say then, Erwin? You gonna ask her?”
Erwin puffed out his chest a little and nodded, “Yeah. I’ll ask her. I… I’ll ask her tomorrow. Maybe at lunch or something.”
“Don’t worry, Erwin,” Mike patted his shoulder as they paused in front of his house. “I know she’ll say yes. Like Nile said, she’s been waiting for you to ask.”
But Marie saying yes was the least of Erwin’s worries. He was certain she’d say yes too, but it was all about what would happen after that. Erwin was an adult now, and he knew he’d have to start thinking about marriage and children soon. Who would he settle down with? Sure, there were plenty of men who remained unmarried and went down their own path, but Erwin knew his parents expected him to get married and give them grandchildren as soon as he could.
So what would happen after the dance? Would he and Marie start dating? Would this one simple question lead to how he would spend the rest of his life? Erwin couldn’t help it: he cringed when thinking of going to a nine-to-five office job, coming home to his wife and kids. It wasn’t that he didn’t want children. He had a little sister who was about 18 months old, and she was one of the most precious people in his life. Of course, Erwin wanted kids; it was the wife part he was so unsure about. But who in this day in age had kids with no wife? It seemed as though the two were inseparable, and Erwin would just have to grin and bear it.
Mike waved goodbye to his friends and went into his house, leaving Nile and Erwin to walk the rest of the way to Nile’s house. Then Erwin would walk alone to his own house about a block away. As they walked in silence, Erwin could sense Nile’s frustration with the situation. Erwin and Nile unintentionally competed in many things: they were both incredibly smart and often found themselves at one another’s throats for a scholastic trophy or school-wide recognition. But this was one thing that Erwin had completely and utterly bested Nile at. A girl that Nile was head over heels for, and she was over the moon for Erwin instead.
“Fuck,” Nile swore under his breath. “You better be serious about asking her, Erwin. I don’t like seeing Marie broken-hearted…”
Erwin frowned and nodded, “Of course. I don’t want to hurt Marie’s feelings. I’ll ask her tomorrow, I promise.”
“Good,” Nile sighed in some relief, though he sounded defeated. Erwin didn’t even want to go with Marie, and he felt bad about that, especially when his friend liked her so much.
“Are you going to ask anyone?” Erwin wondered. “Mike and I will both have dates then.”
Nile and Erwin paused in front of Nile’s house as he muttered, “Dunno. I might ask this girl from my math class.”
He didn’t seem so sure about that, but Erwin wanted to encourage Nile.
“That’s good,” Erwin forced a smile, clapping Nile on the back. “I hope she says yes. Then we’ll all have dates for homecoming!”
“Yeah,” Nile grumbled, not at all excited. “Whatever. I’ll see you later, Erwin.”
Erwin waved Nile off and headed down the block to his own house. He was feeling down now, unable to help the mix of guilt and dread in his stomach. Quit being a sissy, he told himself. You’re a man now. And men ask women to dances.
One crank, then two. Farlan handed the wrench back to Levi when he was done tightening the tire cover on one of the wheels of the vehicle. Levi twirled the wrench in one hand, leaning against the wall of the auto repair shop as he casually smoked a cigarette.
His dark hair was slicked back with pomade and his leather jacket hung heavy on his shoulders. His dark jeans were covered in dirt and grease from the car he and Farlan had been working on all afternoon. They’d skipped classes to come work on the car, or Levi’s baby, as they affectionately referred to it. It was a black and white ‘55 DeSoto Fireflite that just needed a little more love and care and it would be all Levi’s. He and his uncle had saved up all their spare change to afford this hunk of junk and Levi wasn’t going to give up on her. His best friend, Farlan, had offered to help him out with it and Levi figured he could always use a helping hand.
Levi and Farlan had been friends since they were toddlers running amok in Farlan’s parents’ garden, making a mess in the mud, and pissing off their mothers who would have to clean them. They’d been close ever since. Farlan was a good guy. He was a few months older than Levi, and those mere few months had made him somewhat wiser than Levi, who was set to turn 18 in December. Levi could be a hothead, quiet but angry. He considered himself lucky that Farlan was always there to calm him down and rationalize the situation if need be.
“So,” Farlan said. “What are you planning on doing after our senior year?”
Levi didn’t know how to answer that. He chewed on his cigarette a little before sucking in a deep breath of nicotine and breathing it out. He knew Farlan wanted to go to college, but Levi didn’t see the point in it. He already struggled in school, what was the point in continuing an education that he didn’t care for? Farlan was a good student, outside of the times he skipped class with Levi.
“I dunno,” Levi muttered as he flicked a bit of ash onto the ground. “If we get this car running by then, I’m gonna travel the country. I’ve always wanted to go on a road trip. You’re always welcome to come with, Far. You know that.”
Farlan sighed and stood up, tossing a dirty rag over his shoulder and crossing his arms, “And you know that I’m planning on applying to colleges. I… I know it’s a lot of money, but… but mom says I can go. She and Dad are working extra shifts so they can help me afford it, and I’m getting a summer job to add to my funds.”
Levi scoffed and tossed his cigarette on the ground, stomping it out with the toe of his leather boot. “I know. Just thought maybe I could change your mind.”
Farlan smiled solemnly, “I know, Lee. But there’s no changing my mind on that. Besides, one of us has to stay in town to take care of Izzy during her senior year.”
Isabel was their friend in junior year, still 16 years old. She was feisty with fiery red pigtails, sometimes it would get her into trouble. Levi and Farlan were like her older brothers, always taking care of her and sticking up for her when older kids picked on her.
Levi knew Farlan was right. The damn kid needed someone to watch out for her when the two of them were done with school. Sure, she could hold her own for the most part, but Levi still didn’t like the idea of boys her age trying to take advantage of her.
“You’re right,” Levi admitted with a sigh. “I’ll stick around… but only for her. I wouldn’t stay in this piece of shit town for anyone else… well, maybe you too, but… that’s about it.”
Farlan chuckled, “Thanks, Lee. Appreciate that.”
Farlan wiped his face on a clean rag that was sitting in the front seat of the car. He tossed the rag aside and squinted his eyes at something in the distance before his entire face brightened and he began to wave.
“Speak of the devil,” Farlan smiled. “There’s Iz!”
Levi turned to look down the path, and sure enough, there was Isabel, walking towards them with her head down and an angry stride in her step. Her red hair whipped in the wind, matching her furious energy.
“Uh oh,” Levi frowned. “Wonder what happened? She looks pissed.”
“Yeah,” Farlan agreed, concern written all over his face. “I hope she’s okay.”
Isabel stomped over to the two boys, stuffing her hands in her pockets. Her cheeks were red with embarrassment and irritation, fresh tears in her eyes, and a pout on her lips. Levi felt his brotherly instincts come out and he could sense Farlan was feeling the same way.
“What happened?” Farlan asked. “Are you okay, Izzy?”
Isabel shook her head, stubborn as ever when it came to revealing a situation in which she’d been embarrassed. Farlan sighed in frustration before placing his hands on Isabel’s shoulders so she couldn’t hide away.
“What happened?” Levi repeated for Farlan, stepping up next to her. “Who do I have to fuck up, huh?”
“Those stupid football players,” Isabel grunted, finally looking up at Farlan with tears streaming down her chubby cheeks. “They’re such jerks!”
Farlan’s eyes widened slightly at the sight of Isabel in tears, and he quickly pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back comfortingly. Levi wished he could comfort people the way Farlan did. Farlan always found it so easy to wrap his arms around someone and whisper sweet things that could get them to calm down. Levi, on the other hand… well, the only intimate thing he ever did was ruffle people’s hair. That was all he knew how to do, something his uncle had taught him from a young age. His family wasn’t a hugging family.
“What did they do?” Levi immediately followed up. “Did they touch you? I swear to god, I’ll-”
“N-No,” Isabel sniffled, wiping her eyes with her fist. “I mean… kind of. They were pulling on my pigtails and making fun of me.”
How childish are these football players?! Levi wondered angrily. His hand instantly went to the switchblade in his pocket. That was always his first move when someone pissed him off, though he could usually be talked out of it if the situation wasn’t that serious.
“They said,” Isabel continued, a quiet sob escaping her mouth. “That I look like an ugly baby.”
Farlan ran his fingers through her hair, which she’d taken down - probably after the boys had picked on her. It was to her shoulders now and looked out of place. She almost always wore it up. Isabel was quite the tomboy. She didn’t like wearing dresses and only wore them on special occasions. At school, she wore baggy pants and sweaters. And she often got made fun of for not fitting in.
“You don’t look like an ugly baby, Iz,” Farlan sighed, pulling away to cup her face in his hands. “You’re very pretty. And Levi and I love your pigtails, don’t we, Lee?”
Levi cleared his throat awkwardly and nodded, grabbing another cigarette from the pack in his pocket. He didn’t like situations like this. Of course, he felt bad about what had happened to Isabel, but he just didn’t know how to handle people crying. He didn’t know how to open up about his emotions unless they were aggressive ones, like anger. He could fuck somebody up for messing with his friends, but when it came to comforting people? No chance.
“Thanks,” Isabel smiled sadly, pulling away from Farlan to take out her handkerchief and blow her nose. “They keep messing with me on my way home. I could defend myself if it was only one of them, but it’s three of the same guys over and over again. If I hadn’t run today, they would’ve found out where I lived. And I don’t need that.”
“They’re stupid,” Farlan scowled. “Lee and I will take care of it. Don’t worry, Iz. We’ve got your back.”
Isabel beamed up at Farlan through her tears, “You promise?” She turned to Levi, “You promise, Lee?”
“Promise,” Levi swore, holding out his pinky to her. “We’ll take care of it, Iz.”
Isabel linked her pinky with his, swinging them back and forth cheerfully. Levi let go of her pinky after a moment and exchanged a serious look with Farlan. Levi never broke promises.
Marie was with her friends at the lunch table across the room, giggling with her friends. She was so pretty it was intimidating. Erwin was standing in the boys’ bathroom, peering out the door at her until Mike corralled him back into the bathroom. Nile rolled his eyes, leaning against the wall of the cramped bathroom. It was just the three of them in there at the moment, and Mike was busy fixing Erwin’s hair and his button-up shirt.
“Stop fussing, Mike,” Erwin grumbled, starting to get irritated.
“Yeah,” Nile agreed. “It’s not like Marie’s gonna reject him for a hair out of place.”
“I just want my boy to look good,” Mike chuckled, biting his lip as he concentrated on his work. “Can’t have you going up to the most popular girl in school with ratty hair.”
Erwin’s gaze became unfocused, his fingers tapping on his sides in boredom as he waited for Mike to finish. He was beginning to think about how he was going to ask her. He and Mike had rehearsed it over and over all morning, but he was still unsure about this whole thing.
Finally, the taller man pulled away with a grin, “You’re good. Go get her, tiger.”
He practically pushed Erwin out the door, and once again, Erwin was feeling as though he was being forced into this difficult and uneasy position. But as the quarterback of the varsity team, he needed to have a date for homecoming, and who else was he going to ask? And besides, Marie wanted him to ask her. So he should, right?
Erwin’s legs felt like lead as he walked over to her table, a heavy lump in his throat. He was nervous, his palms were clammy and his head felt fuzzy. He didn’t like the pressure of this whole situation. He felt like all eyes in the cafeteria were on him, and they very well could’ve been. Erwin was a pretty popular guy, and seeing him walk over to the most popular girls’ table was probably a sight to behold.
The girls looked up as he approached them, and one of them gasped and whispered to Marie, giggling excitedly. She shushed her friends and pushed her bangs out of her face, smiling sweetly at Erwin as he walked up to the table.
“Hi Erwin,” Marie murmured. Her voice was sweet and smooth, like honey dripping from a jar.
“Hi Marie,” Erwin replied. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but can I talk to you real quick?”
Marie’s eyes widened, but not significantly. It was a tell-tale sign that she was excited and had maybe even been expecting this. She also seemed to be a bundle of nerves, though for different reasons: she got up quicker than he expected, waiting for him to whisk her away from her friends.
Erwin led her a few feet away where they could speak in private. He hadn’t wanted to ask her in front of all her friends. She straightened her skirt and smiled up at him sweetly, her bright hazel eyes practically shimmering in the light of the cafeteria hall.
“What is it, Erwin?” Marie asked. “What did you need to talk to me about?”
“W-Well, Marie,” Erwin started, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.
He glanced over to Mike and Nile, who were sitting at the football team’s table across the way. Mike was giving him a thumbs up, and his team was laughing and chattering away to one another, glancing in his and Marie’s direction every once in a while. Apparently, Mike had informed them what Erwin was doing. Great.
“I was just… erm…” Erwin muttered nervously. “I was wondering if you’d like to… uh… go to the homecoming dance… with me?”
Marie’s entire face lit up at the question, and she nodded eagerly, not even taking a moment to think about it, “I’d love to! Thank you for asking me, I… I really hoped you would.”
She reached a hand up to touch Erwin’s bicep gingerly, and he could’ve died right then and there. He didn’t know how to react to that. Mike hadn’t prepared him for a sensual touch on the arm. God, what was he going to do when they got to the actual dance?
“Y-Yeah,” Erwin stuttered. “Um… I’m excited to go with you. Oh, and uh, here’s my number. So we can figure out the details.”
He patted his pockets for the piece of paper Mike had given him and handed it to Marie, who was beaming with excitement. Everything everyone had been saying was true - she really did seem to like him.
“Thanks, Erwin,” Marie expressed. “I’ll call you later, okay?”
Erwin nodded, watching her walk back to her table. The other girls were immediately squealing and giggling, happy that Marie had finally been asked to the dance by her dream guy. Erwin sighed. Thank god that’s over.
He was feeling a mix of relief and anxiety as he walked away from Marie’s table, the pressure finally off his shoulders. He couldn’t believe he’d actually done it. He had asked her to the homecoming dance. But now he had a new kind of pressure on his shoulders: what would happen at the dance? Erwin couldn't imagine himself as a romantic partner, and he didn’t know what he would do if Marie tried to kiss him or anything like that. He just hoped he wouldn't embarrass himself too much.
Erwin sat down at the table, receiving multiple pats on the backs from his friends and teammates for a job well done. He smiled sheepishly, feeling like he’d done what he was supposed to. But he didn’t feel like he’d done what he wanted, which would’ve been to not ask her at all.
But Erwin didn’t have a lot of time to dwell on what he’d just done and what the next steps were, as there was the loud slam of a hand on the table that startled the football players. They turned to look down the table at a tiny little greaser and his slightly taller sidekick who were staring them down menacingly.
The greaser and his sidekick looked like they were itching for a fight, and the football players looked both alarmed and annoyed at the interruption. Erwin didn't know what was going on, but he didn't need to to know it wasn’t going to end well.
“Which one of you dumb fucks has been messing with Isabel?” the shorter one growled.
“Isabel?” Mike frowned. “Who’s Isabel?”
“Red hair, green eyes,” the taller of the two greasers muttered angrily. “She told us a few of the football players have been messing with her on her way home.”
“Ohh,” Rich, the wide receiver on Erwin’s team, started to laugh. “You mean pigtails?”
“Yeah, pigtails!” Larry, the center, grinned. “She was too cute. We were just having fun, weren’t we boys?”
Rich and Donald nodded in agreement. Those must’ve been the few football players the greasers were talking about. Erwin briefly wondered if his teammates were insane. Don’t mess with the greasers was one of the prime rules he lived by. He’d seen these two around school - smoking in the bathrooms or causing trouble in class. But he’d never gotten in their way, as he knew better than that.
“What’s your name, little man?” Don beamed cockily. “You and your boyfriend are real scary.”
“It’s none of your business-”
“Levi,” the taller greaser grumbled. “And I’m Farlan. Remember the names we’ll carve into your skin if you don’t back the fuck off Isabel.”
Erwin’s eyes widened, and he watched in shock as the smaller one lifted his shirt, showing a pocket knife in his waistband. Those were illegal on school grounds. Erwin knew his teammates were in trouble, and as the quarterback and leader of their team, he knew he should try and stand up for his friends, despite the consequences.
Erwin stood, and all eyes went to him, including the greasers’. The feisty little one snapped, “What do you have to say, blondie? You tryin’ to defend your little teammates?”
“This is no way to handle an argument,” Erwin moved to stand in front of the table, to separate the two arguing parties. “My teammates are reasonable. They were probably just joking around.”
Levi glared up at him, hand on his pocket knife, “Yeah, I’m sure pulling her pigtails and making her cry was a real funny fuckin’ joke, wasn’t it?”
Erwin frowned. His teammates were really making it difficult to defend them. He’d have to talk to them later about this behavior - it was unacceptable to him. He sighed, giving a brief glare to Larry, Rich, and Don before turning back to face Levi and Farlan.
“I’m sure it won’t happen again,” Erwin tried, but Levi wasn’t having it.
“Yeah, it won’t,” Levi growled. “Cause we’re gonna fuck them up. Now get out of my way, or you’re next.”
Erwin used his height to his advantage, towering over Levi to try and appear more intimidating as he snarled back, “Try me.”
He didn’t know where this energy had come from. He just didn’t like people threatening his friends or his teammates. Even if they’d been in the wrong, he didn’t think they deserved to be shanked by two greasers.
Just as Levi looked ready to pounce, there was a loud voice that boomed behind them:
“Smith! Ackerman!”
Erwin knew that voice. Oh no, he thought to himself. It was Mr. Dickerson, the head of the math department. He was a particularly strict, no-nonsense type of man, and he’d broken up more fights than Erwin could count.
“Is there a problem here?” Mr. Dickerson asked haughtily, crossing his arms over his chest.
“N-No, sir,” Erwin tried, but it was too late.
“You,” he pointed at Levi before turning to Erwin. “And you. Principal’s office. Now.”
Erwin groaned internally. This was not going to be good.