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“So you really don’t remember anything from when you were young?”
Taylor shrugged, turning his head away from the man he sat next to. Still, like a magnet, his eyes were dragged back and he peered from his peripheries to judge his dad’s face before he responded.
Nick seemed relaxed, blank even, tapping his fingers against the bedspread. Taylor was more than used to picking his features out from his mom - his bushy brows, the peach-warm undertones of his skin, the button nose that gifted her with nice headshots, and him with compliments from strangers. It was different seeing them on a man he had never really met before. He mostly noticed his own eyes, not quite looking at Taylor the same way that Taylor didn’t quite look at him. Irises dark enough to bleed into his pupils, hooded monolids that his mom kissed when he was young.
His hair tumbled down around his face the same messy way that Taylor’s did. Taylor always struggled to keep it neat, but Nick’s was wild and untamed, clearly no care put into the knots and bumps. It looked good anyways. Taylor raised a hand to fidget with some of the strands brushing against his own chin, picking at a stray split end.
“I mean, like, I know you were around, but I dunno,” Taylor said, finally. “I more remember Mom burning everything that reminded her of you.”
Nick’s face tightened as he gave a solemn nod. Taylor shrunk in on himself.
He didn’t particularly want to impress his dad. Well, no, he did - his dad was cool as fuck - but he didn’t know what to do with the emotions swirling in his chest. Nick didn’t feel like a dad, not one that Taylor wanted at least, but from what he heard from his friends, that was pretty normal. Maybe dads were just disappointing like that. Maybe Taylor was just feeling dour, sitting knee-to-knee with Nick for the first time as long as he could remember.
Nick wasn’t in his life. There was a reason why Taylor was struggling to think of him as Dad, even with the strong family resemblance. Nick was as gone as the wind by the time Taylor stumbled out of toddlerhood. His mom never explained the absence and so far, Nick hadn’t either beside mumbling something vague about an NDA and government interference.
So far, Taylor had surmised that Nick was on the run from government agents, probably an international spy of some sorts and that he was here to recruit Taylor into his secret life. It was the sort of thing that Taylor had spent hours of his life daydreaming about, doing anything he could to get out of this town and escape California. His go-bag sat beneath the bed they both sat in and everything. He wasn’t sure why else Nick would appear out of nowhere after all of these years, knocking on their front door as if he had just gotten back from running some errands.
His mom had left the house pretty fast, once Nick had murmured something under his breath to her. Taylor was pretty sure they were arguing during those whispers back and forth, considering she had thrown her hands up and scoffed something along the lines of typical fucking man-
Anyways, this was clearly the start of Taylor’s big break. He should be excited. He wasn’t sure why he felt sick to his stomach.
“I knew you looked like me,” he broke, cutting into the silence that had fallen between them. “And I was vaguely aware that you were the reason why I was buddies with Link and Norm as a kid. That’s it, though.”
“You’re still a kid,” Nick responded, almost absent-minded, and Taylor bristled.
“Hey! I’m a man, fuck you! I’m fifteen, you know. That’s basically an adult!”
Nick blinked, coming back to focus, then he laughed. His laugh was comforting in the same way that a campfire was, warm and cozy despite an underlying current that things could go south really fast. Taylor’s foot jittered, unsure what to do with the energy prickling under his skin, and he started running calculations in his head about how wind could cause forest fires.
He sort of wanted a hug, even though he knew that was just showing weakness. He did not want to seem weak to his dad. That was just about the only thing he was sure about.
“Yeah, yeah,” Nick said, the amusement still clear in his voice. Enough embarrassment swirled in Taylor’s gut at that to push down the urge to hug him. “You’re all grown up, huh? Jesus, it really has been over ten years since I left.”
Nick reached out and Taylor froze, watching and then feeling as Nick knocked his hat off and ruffled his hair.
“That’s my fucking porkpie, man,” Taylor whined, cringing at the way his voice cracked, and Nick shook his head. He snatched the hat away, tossing it across the bedroom, and Taylor jolted to his feet. “What- you dick!”
“You’ll get it back.” Nick sighed, stretching and standing up. He grabbed his arm before Taylor could scramble after it. “Did your mom ever dance with you as a kid?”
“What does that have to do with anything?!” he snapped, throwing his arms out as the embarrassment in his stomach collapsed into sharp annoyance.
She did, and maybe that sucked even more because it just made him miss his fucking mom like some baby. She hadn’t even been gone for more than a few hours, just letting Taylor bond with his dad one-on-one or whatever, but he missed her like an ache in his heart. He always forgot how much he liked having her around until she was gone.
“I just remember that it was something I did with you when you were a toddler.” Nick shrugged. “Wanted to know if she did it after I left.”
“You’re saying you did it first? Cringe, dude,” Taylor scoffed and Nick rolled his eyes. “Respect women, that was her and my thing.”
“I respect women plenty,” he said, turning to shoot a pointed look back at the body pillows thrown around Taylor’s bed. Taylor stepped in front of him, cutting off his vision. “My dad always danced with me like that when I was a kid. Uh, both of my dads did, I guess. So I did it with you, too.”
Taylor took a breath, then paused, the tough posture he had put on relaxing. As much as he wanted to defend his mom’s thing, his curiosity had been piqued. “You, uh, really?”
It was important to get the big family exposition, after all. He didn’t want to know about his dad’s family for some sappy sentimental reason. He needed to gain intel to further the plot.
A small smile graced Nick’s face. He let go of Taylor’s arm, seeming to realize that he still had a steady grip on him, and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, man. Glenn did it, mostly. He always wanted to dance, but my mom thought he was shit at it, so he’d dance with me instead. He’d put on some music and pull me up on his feet and just spin around for an hour because it made me laugh so much.”
“That’s…” Adorable. Taylor’s heart hurt. “Uh, interesting.”
“Jodie only liked dancing in the kitchen while he was cooking,” Nick continued, clearly caught up in his own thoughts. He started turning in slow circles, pivoting on his left foot. “He’d put the oven on to pre-heat and he’d turn on the radio while he waited, because you should ‘never leave an oven unattended, Nicholas’.”
Nick wagged his finger at Taylor, the movement alarmingly dorky compared to everything else going on, and Taylor struggled to fight down a giggle.
“And I’d come running in as soon as I heard the music because I knew he’d scoop me up and start swinging me around. He was always stronger than Glenn was, he could hold me for much longer.” Nick lowered his hand as he finished explaining, tilting his head to the side. His hands returned to his pockets, hooking just his thumbs into them. “I was strong enough to carry you, but I usually put you up on my feet anyways. I thought it was more fun that way.”
“Okay.”
“Come here,” Nick said, flicking his head back in a way that was way too cool to be legal, and Taylor blinked.
“What?”
“I said come here. Dance with me.” Nick’s smile grew into a sharp grin. “You’re still tiny enough to fit on my feet, I bet. You didn’t get any of my genes height-wise, huh? A little unfortunate.”
“Wh-” Taylor spluttered for a moment, fighting to get the words out. “I’m- You literally- I’m fifteen, dude! I’ll- Shut- I’m still growing!”
“I thought you were basically an adult, Tay,” Nick teased. The nickname felt like a punch to the gut but Taylor stepped closer to him anyways. Nick pulled his hands back from his pockets, offering them, and Taylor didn’t hide the way he eyed them with suspicion. “You don’t actually have to step on my feet, it’s fine. Just turn on some music.”
“What did you dance to with your dads?” he asked, placing his hands on Nick’s. The skin contact was warm.
“Depended on the dad,” Nick responded, moving their arms back and forth in a basic dance. It already felt stupid. Taylor smiled anyways, biting down on his lower lip. “But with you? Usually, I’d put on something that’d piss Glenn off, like, Nickelback or whatever.”
“Alexa, play Anamanaguchi,” Taylor called out and Nick raised an eyebrow as Miku came on. “What? Nickelback fucking sucks. This is old music, don’t you like old music?”
“God, you really are Dad all over,” Nick murmured. Taylor could tell from his tone that it was more to himself than anything. “Nickelback is good.”
“It eats dirt, dude. Nickelback is like that one band that gets put on every phone on Earth.”
Nick pulled a face. “U2 and Nickelback are not the same thing. What is your mom teaching you?”
Nick stepped back and Taylor realized all of a sudden that they were still dancing, barely noticing as he started guiding him in that same silly dance that people usually did with toddlers. It made him feel like a baby, letting his dad wiggle his arms around and guide him in loose circles around the room, but he stumbled along anyways.
“Apparently better music than Jodie taught you,” Taylor snarked and Nick’s grin grew. “I usually listen to anime music anyways.”
“I gathered as much,” Nick said dryly, letting go of one of Taylor’s hands and raising the other in the air. Taylor took the hint, turning himself underneath the raised arm, and let go once it started to hurt. Nick caught him by the shoulders before he could stumble, holding him in place. “You’re bad at that.”
“You’re supposed to hold my hand differently to spin me properly,” Taylor shot back and Nick snickered. “Don’t laugh at me!”
“I’m not laughing at you, I just used to say the same thing to Glenn all the time.” Nick shook his head, grabbing Taylor’s hands again. The weight of his dad’s hands was almost familiar. “He dropped me a few times because he could never get it right, used to drive Joe crazy.”
“Mom never told me you had two dads,” Taylor prodded. “I’m guessing it’s not, like, a Grant and Marco deal, considering you had a mom.”
“Nah, it was a lot more complicated than that.” Nick adjusted his grip and guided Taylor through a spin again, slower and with more care. Taylor managed a full twist this time, only stumbling over his own feet. “It’s boring, you don’t wanna hear all that.”
“What about when I meet them?” Taylor asked before he could stop himself and Nick hesitated. “I mean, like, unless you really are here to whisk me away on a massive secret mission. I did think that that made much more sense than you just wanting to reconnect. Deadbeat dads don’t reconnect, they just motivate the plot. That’s like, the entire premise of at least ten anime I can name off the top of my head.”
“I’m not whisking you away on some mission,” Nick said, shaking his head. “I don’t think you should meet my dads either, though. Glenn’s a bad influence and, well, I mean, Jodie’s a cop.”
“Fuck cops!”
“Exactly.” Nick snorted, letting go of his hands in favor of ruffling his hair. “You wouldn’t want to meet them. They’re not half as cool as me.”
Taylor definitely wanted to meet them. His mom’s family never liked him very much. He wanted a family that looked like him and danced with him and ruffled his hair. He wondered if it would look more like Nick’s once the strands were all standing on end instead of being combed back to perfection. He wondered if Nick wasn’t inviting him to meet his family because Nick was going to disappear off the face of the fucking planet again.
His chest still ached. Nick’s hand was warm.
“Okay.” Taylor swallowed down the disappointment. “I didn’t really care anyways. Let’s get back to the secret mission you won’t tell me about.”