Chapter Text
“Stay mad.” Lilith says, her knuckles still bloody. I grin and can’t stop. Phillip is cursing us out from the ground, clutching his bloody nose.
“Groovy Auntie!” I say with a laugh, finger gunning at Lilith.
We hop aboard the stonesleeper and turn around toward the chamber.
“Are you sure we should go back for that Collector-tablet?” Lilith asks me, her hair coming out of its cap.
“Phillip sure as heck wanted it. That absolute jerk-face. I can’t believe he was gonna sacrifice us! After I taught him a new glyph!” Lilith nods aggressively.
“Let’s be the kick-butt historians we are! Onwards for the tablet!”
We find the tablet lying on the ground near where Phillip was punched by Lilith. It’s a circular navy-colored disk with a moon symbol on it.
“Are you sure this is it? Phillip referred to it as ‘he.’” Lilith holds up the tablet. “It just looks like a circle.”
“Well let’s just take it back to our time. I’m sure Eda will-” I’m cut off by a shriek from Lilith.
“LUZ! THE BLOODY FLY EFFECT! WE JUST TOOK AN IMPORTANT ARTIFACT FROM THE PAST!” Lilith pulls on her blue hair.
“AHH!”
“Is the Universe gonna collapse in on itself?!” I gasp. I stare down at the tablet. “Ohh, you better be worth it, round boy.”
***
We fly back from the time pools beach. So far the universe hasn’t exploded or made Eda the new Emperor so maybe we’ll be good. Lilith has slipped the disk into her bag along with some Deadwardian Era wood she found. They clink together in her bag.
We land in front of the Owl House and disembark.
“Lily! Luz! You done with that nerd quest, you nerds? Find that dead nerd?” Eda snorts. My face falls. Phillip.
“Ehh, turns out Phillip was Mr. Awful-face. He tried to sacrifice us. Lilith punched him, though.”
We finger gun at each other and Eda sighs.
“You gotta stop doing that.”
Lilith smirks.
“We also got his precious mirror thing.”
“Nice, nice. Love stealing from dead nerds. Come on in, King and Hooty are… cooking.” Sure enough, King is stirring a pot with Hooty’s head.
“So Phillip, huh? Is he uh… British?” I start laughing and so does Eda.
“Yeah. And he’s a big stink-face!”
“I’m a big soup face!” Hooty says from inside the soup.
“We got his special Collector mirror.” Suddenly Eda coughs violently and feathers sprout from her arms.
“Ah what the fu- frick! The owl beast is being so twitchy. Lily, elixir, please?” Lilith grabs an elixir bottle from the ceiling light and tosses it to Eda who slurps it up through a straw.
“Set the disk down. If Phillip wanted it, it’s probably important. What a creep, man. I swear to Titan if he wasn’t dead I’d knock his ass into the boiling sea!” Eda hisses. The feathers pop out again.
“What the- again?”
Another elixir bottle falls over. Then, I hear a small snicker.
“WEH?!”
“King…” Eda sighs. “So should we see what the deal with this thing is?” Eda stares at the tablet. We all gather around it.
“Hmmm…” I say. “Doesn’t seem to be doing anything.” It just sits there on the coffee table. Eda reaches over and puts a hand on it.
“Maybe if I-” She is cut off by a blue light emitting from the mirror. A smiling half-moon face spins, surrounded by celestial imagery. The face spins clockwise, little moons and planets and suns and stars all turning and twisting around before the whole display disappears.
“Huh? WHO’S THERE?!” an echoey childish voice rings out. Then, a shadow figure spins out of the disk, projected on the wall.
I gasp out loud. The figure turns its head.
“New friends! Hmm… a human, two witches and… IS THAT THE BABY TITAN?” The shadow forms into King’s shape.
The shadow squeals with joy. “I’ve always wanted to play with you! Your dumb pops trapped me here, though. When I get out of this stupid mirror I’ll liquify his spine and toss him into a star! And then I’LL EXPLODE THE STAR! KABOOM!”
They show a star exploding and a King-like figure exploding as well.
We all look at eachother.
“Well I guess he’s already dead. Too bad!” They say cheerfully.
The shadow is dancing around King, showing various images ranging from King to themself to the both of them spinning around.
“King. Are you okay?” I say. King’s eyes are wide.
“I’m… I’m a Titan?” He whispers.
“Yep! Little Titan baby, climbing up the stars, He can’t reach the moon so he lands super far! I sit up in the space and I watch the baby grow! His little daddy’s rotting, if you all should know!” The shadow looks pleased with their little song.
“WHAT?” King yells. “WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?” The shadow giggles.
“You’re a Titan, silly! And I’m The Collector!”
“Wait, you’re The Collector?” Lilith says. They happily nod.
“And a human! How did you get here?” The Collector shows a picture of round ears and giggles again.
“Uhm… Mr. Collector? We want to know what a human named Phillip wants with you.”
The Collector raises an eyebrow.
“Mr? Ugh, you are soooooo boring. I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about! I haven’t talked with anyone since foreverrrrr!”
“Phillip was trying to get you in… the past? It’s hard to explain but we thought he wanted you to take him home.” I say.
“Oh, I can take you home, human! The little Titan can let me out and we can play games forever and ever and ever!”
I look over at Eda and Lilith and King, who are all in various states of confusion.
“I’m sorry Collector, but we can’t let you out.” Lilith says. Something in their cartoony expression changes.
“LIAR LIAR PANTS OF FIRE! You can totally let me out! You’re just being mean. You-re bei-ing me-an, you-re bei-ing me-an.”
Eda actually laughs.
“Kid, I’m sorry. How long have you been in there?”
“MORE THAN YOU MORTALS CAN EVEN GET! THAT’S WHY YOU GOTTA LEMME OUT!” They screech.
King covers his ears. “LEMME OUT LEMME OUT LEMME OUT!”
Eda takes me and the others aside while The Collector screams and mimes exploding all of us.
“This is… not what I expected. Okay, a god stuck in a mirror? That makes sense. Sort of. But they’re a little kid!” Eda says.
“Ugh, why did we steal that tablet again?” Lilith groans. “This is going to be hard.”
“Maybe I’m insane but I think they might know how to build a working portal. And also,” Eda glances over to the shadow in the living room. “A kid’s a kid. Who knows what Phillip would have done with this little guy?”
“Probably what he did with me and all the other scouts.” Lilith says, her face sullen.
I hear another scream from The Collector.
Eda and the rest of us walk back into the house to find The Collector spinning their shadowy form around the ceiling.
“You guys didn’t leave!” They say with an almost out-of-breath tone.
“Hi, Collector. Mind if I ask a few… questions?” Lilith says, gracefully sitting down on the rug with a pen and paper.
“Boooooooring.” They whine, stretching their shadow out.
“Well I’ll ask these questions anyway. You are quite old, correct?” The Collector nods.
“Yuh-huh! Compared to you I am!”
“Okay. Are you old enough to have met the Titan?” A look flashes across his face, but they cover it back up almost instantly.
“You mean the one you live on? He sucked! So did this little guy’s dad. They all were meanies!”
“There’s no way King’s a Titan. I mean look at him! He’s so tiny!” Eda holds King up as he squeals with rage.
“I AM NOT TINY!” He shouts. “I AM THE MIGHTY KING OF DEMONS!”
“And I’m The Collector!” The Collector says happily. “So I’m objectively better! Ha-ha!” Eda snorts at King’s face.
“Ehem.” I say, stepping forward. “Collector, I know a really, really fun game.” They stop teasing King and give me a wide-eyed stare.
“It’s called… race to the human realm!”
“Ooooooh! How’dya play?”
“So we split up into teams to build a portal door, and whoever makes a working one fist gets uhh… a treat!” I say, feigning enthusiasm.
This kid is either really smart or really dumb. They grin devilishly.
“I could make one soooooo quickly if you just let me out, human!”
I cringe slightly. Weeks ago I would have easily let this poor, creepy kid out but after getting tricked again and again it's a little hard to trust everybody.
I let out a long sigh.
"Okay, hoot-house! I'm gonna go see Amity." Eda chuckles
"Come back soon kiddo. I've gotta try King and Hooty's soup."
"I WANT SOME!" The Collector screams randomly, failing about.
"You're giving me the biggest headache ever, buddy. We can all hear you." King says in exasperation.
"Well no one could hear me before! So they're gonna hear me now! Also, who's Amity? She sounds boring. Boring name. Mine's cooler." They sick their tonuge out.
***
Luz leaves with a flourish leaving Eda, Lilith and King to try and talk to the very loud deity trapped in their living room.