Work Text:
“Tsk.”
The irritation on Himeko’s face didn’t seem to phase the woman before her, whose smile grew wider. She was lying on her bed and seemed to have waited for her to come back in her room. It was only her hologram and yet, the red-haired woman felt an indescribable feeling building inside her. Her stomach knotted, she didn’t know if it was anger or resentment. Probably both.
“What did you think of my appearance earlier? I’m a good actress right? Pretending that I don’t know you.” She effortlessly sat up and crossed her legs while staring at Himeko with a knowing smile.
“Please leave, I will not repeat it twice.”
At her words, Kafka stood up. She gracefully slipped behind Himeko and gently pulled to the side the hair covering her ear. She froze. But her breathing got quicker and she felt like her heart was going to burst out of her chest. Kafka always knew to turn the tables to her own advantage and she couldn’t do anything against it.
“Or what? You know me well enough to know that I dislike being ordered around, Hi-me-ko.” She murmured.
She couldn’t do anything about how flustered she felt when Kafka spelled her name this way. Neither she couldn’t do anything about how her legs could give out at any moment by the sound of her voice. She was powerless against her and the latter didn’t hesitate to play on it simply because it amused her to tease Himeko.
After all she was her weakness. She cursed herself from not being capable to resist her. Well, she should’ve been wary of her since their first meeting to avoid being hurt. Just like a prey, she fell into that web of hers and since then she couldn’t escape.
“Don’t try me, Kafka.” She turned around to face Kafka, trying to have the most neutral expression possible. “Why are you following us everywhere?”
“I’m not following anybody. From the day you’ve decided to travel around the universe, you knew that our paths were bound to cross.”
Himeko quickly understood that her insistence on the “our” meant both of them and didn’t include her companions. She was too annoyed by the situation to feel flustered at Kafka’s hint.
“Sure, our paths supposed to cross every single time. I’m not in the mood to joke.” She pinched the bridge of her nose in irritation.
“Oh sweetie, did I make you upset?” Her ironic tone made Himeko roll her eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with checking how my opponent is doing. I wouldn’t want you to be out of the race, that’s all.”
Himeko suspiciously eyed her.
“Caring for my well-being? How nice of you.”
Kafka didn’t answer. She was silently gazing at Himeko with absent eyes. The fact that she couldn’t figure what she was thinking about frustrated her. She was hard to grasp, always slipping though her fingers at every opportunity.
“Well, it’s time for me to go.” A hint of sadness flashed through her eyes which didn’t go unnoticed by Himeko. “I truly care about your well-being, believe it or not.”
In a blink of an eye, she disappeared and Himeko found herself alone in the middle of her room. It felt painfully empty. She didn’t expect Kafka to tell her that, especially when all she has done was hurting her. But she genuinely seemed sincere. She let herself fall on her bed. To her surprise, it was still warm. It was probably the spot where Kafka was waiting for her.
She buried her face into the covers and closed her eyes. It was very faint but she could smell it. Kafka’s perfume. She liked the floral notes of gardenia and jasmine, blending perfectly with the subtle notes of sandalwood. She energetically rubbed her face in the spot until her nose started tickling.
“Well, my peers truly did a good job creating holograms that realistic.” She said out loud as she wore a satisfied smile on her face.
A sigh escaped her mouth. Kafka. No matter how hard she tried to stay away from her, she always found her way to her. They were like magnets, incapable of staying far from each other. It was slowly becoming unbearable as she was torn between her wish to forget her and her lingering feelings for her that she tried to ignore.
She wondered if she was tormenting her on purpose. If she was, it was working. Ever since they had parted ways, she spent sleepless nights, tossing in her bed thinking about her. Because of that, she became more invested in her work. Day and night, she continued her research to fill the void of her absence.
They probably weren’t meant to be together to begin with. They were too different. The more she had tried to understand her, the more she was getting away. She wanted to know who she really was under that enigmatic mask but she failed and got hurt in the process. But it was for the best, she was too proud to run after someone.
She went to her desk and hesitantly opened a drawer. A miserable expression appeared on her face. She picked up Kafka’s lipstick and admired it with a distant stare. Garnet-coloured, her favourite. It suited her magnetic personality perfectly. Everytime she talked, all she wanted to do was to smear everywhere with a messy kiss.
She reminisced about when Kafka gave her lipstick as a gift so she could have something which belonged to her whenever she missed her. She never had the courage to get rid of it after they broke up because the wound was still fresh, even if months passed. She was about to put it on her lips when a knock on her door interrupted her.
—
Her eyebrows creased in concern as Dan Hang left The Astral Express. She hoped nothing would happen to him and the others. Even though she didn’t want to admit it, she was also worried for Kafka. Being a Stellaron hunter was dangerous enough but being an entire nation’s enemy was another thing.
She knew it didn’t matter to her, she always went go to unimaginable lengths for her convictions and also certainly because of the excitement of being in life-threatening situations. She liked danger, living her life on edge which was the opposite for her. Sure, she liked challenging adventures but not putting herself in risky situations unless it was a life or death matter.
After drinking a cup of coffee, she decided to continue her research. She was still studying the eternal ice that was preserving March 7th when Welt and she had discovered her. As a scientist, it tickled her interest. She never got tired of making experiments or making hypothesis, it always made her excited, euphoric even.
Hours passed and she was so absorbed by her research that she didn’t even notice her phone ringing until a few seconds after. She decided to take a break and check it.
Stelle: We found Kafka and caught her. I’ll explain everything later.
Himeko: Good job. Thank you, I’ll wait for your explanation.
Her heart sunk when she read Stelle’s text. Sure, the path Kafka took inevitably led to destruction and endangered the whole universe. But still, no matter what happened between them she didn’t want her to be hurt. She cared about her— probably more than she thought. She felt stupid for still caring about her when she had betrayed her.The fact that she left her to be a criminal was still stuck in her throat.
Did she had so little importance to her? Did the moments they spent together were a web of lies? She couldn’t forget the grief she had felt, waking up without her by her side in her empty bedroom, all of her belongings gone. No goodbyes, nothing. During days she had tried to text her, find her location, but it was like she had vanished into thin air. One day she had finally received a text from her—not the one she was hoping for though.
We’re done.
Just like that everything had shattered around her. She was too dumbfounded to cry. She had just let herself fall on the floor and stared at the ceiling, wondering what went wrong, blaming herself for everything. Then, she had felt anger and the urge to scream. Scream at herself, scream at Kafka, scream at the universe for letting her getting hurt by someone once again.
All that thinking made her head hurt. She went to the bathroom to draw a bath to help her empty her mind. As she undressed herself she couldn’t help but think that something was wrong. It had been too easy to catch Kafka. What she was up to?
She shook the thought off and sunk into the bath. The rest of her crew were probably planning on saving her so it was none of her business. Every time she got into a risky situation, she always got saved somehow. She closed her eyes as she sunk deeper into the bath and allowed herself to relax.
“Boo.”
She nearly jumped off the bath. Her eyes widened in shock as she realised who was standing in front of her. Kafka, the real Kafka in the flesh. She was wearing her usual enigmatic smile. She didn’t even try to bother questioning her about how she managed to sneak in without alerting Pom-Pom. They were probably sleeping, unaware of what was going on.
“Why are you surprised? I thought that you wanted to see me in person.” Her heels clicked on the tiles as the approached Himeko.
She was glad that she was safe. She let a relieved sigh. But her acting like nothing happened and casually appearing out of nowhere got on her nerves.
“Were you worried about me?” She asked as she crouched next to her, staring at her with a stare so intense that made Himeko uncomfortable. “How cute.”
“I was not.”
A smug look appeared on Kafka’s face. She tilted her head, still staring at Himeko before reaching for her chin, lifting it up with her fingers.
“Don’t you want to know what happened?”
Himeko slapped her hand away. She didn’t know if she could contain herself everytime Kafka touched her, even slightly, when she only thing she longed for the past months was her presence. She let the breath she was holding out and broke the eye contact.
“You escaped. That’s pretty clear, I don’t need to know more.”
“Clever girl.” She clapped her hands enthusiastically. “Your friends will surely explain it to you.”
It itched her to know what happened but again, she was too proud to ask her for details.
“I should get going, Bladie must be waiting for me. It was nice seeing you.” She said as she winked at Himeko before getting up.
“Bladie?” A bitter laugh escaped her mouth. When did she get closer to that man enough to call him by a nickname? That was ridiculous.
“Are you jealous darling? That what I was calling you back then right?”
Himeko grabbed her by the collar to bring her face closer to Kafka’s, who didn’t budge. She pressed her finger against her mouth. Their faces were only a few centimetres away from each other.
“You should stop playing with me, Kafka.” She shot her a defying look.
Kafka raised an eyebrow and parted her lips to bite Himeko’s finger. Her eyes didn’t leave Himeko’s for even one second. Her eyes furtively flicked to Kafka’s lips and unfortunately for her, it didn’t go unnoticed by her.
Suddenly strings appeared around her neck. Kafka was holding them thanks to the rings on her fingers with a satisfied look. That’s when Himeko realised that she was fully naked in front of her and that she wasn’t planning on releasing her anytime soon.
“You’re in trouble, my sweet Himeko.” Her eyes glinted maliciously.
Himeko let a defeated laugh. She won, again.
She tugged on the string, making Himeko stand up. Kafka licked her lips as she devoured her with her eyes. The latter looked away, flustered. Kafka didn’t do much and yet she felt like her skin was burning. She felt ashamed of anticipating that much what Kafka would do next.
“At least, I won’t have to undress you.” She murmured in her ear. “Now follow me and behave.”
“I’m not a dog, Kafka.” She hissed.
“Don’t you have a leash around your neck right now?” Himeko knew was in no position to answer, Kafka was right. “That’s what I thought. Good doggy.”
Even if she was upset, she still wasn’t indifferent to her praises. The tip of her ears became bright red and it was a good thing that her hair was covering them. She followed her back to her room. She made her sit in front of the bed while she searched for something in Himeko’s drawers.
She came back and sat in front of Himeko with a satisfied smile. Himeko knew that she was up to no good and she couldn’t help but being excited.
“Touch yourself.”
“Pardon me?” She asked in disbelief.
“You heard me well.”
Blood rushed to her cheeks as she thought about the idea. She had already seen her in such a situation, but it seemed so distant in her memories that she couldn’t help but feel embarrassed just like the first time. After a few seconds, she resigned to do as told. Kafka was waiting expectantly while tapping her fingers on her thigh.
She slid her hand between her legs. It was no surprise to see that she was already aroused as she felt her slick between her fingers. She avoided crossing Kafka’s eyes while she slowly stroked her clit, building up the heat in her core. Her eyes were closed but she could feel Kafka’s burning stare on her which aroused her even more.
She put more pressure on her fingers, stroking her clit faster. There was no noise coming out of her mouth. The only thing she could hear was her heavy breathing and the wet noises of her wet cunt. At the same moment she felt close to come, Kafka strongly pulled on the leash almost making her lost her balance. She shoot daggers at her, outraged by the fact that she interrupted her.
“Do you have a death wish? I was almost close.”
“That’s the point. I don’t want you to come yet.” She grinned.
She took off a small vibrator from her pocket and waved it in front of Himeko who was shocked. She realised that was what she was searching for in her drawers. When Kafka leaned towards her, she gulped nervously. She instinctively spread her legs when she leaned even more closer to insert the vibrator in her cunt.
The contact of Kafka’s gloved fingers touching her cunt sent tingles to her core, as if to remind her how bad she desired her. After she made sure it was in place, she reached for the remote and pressed the button. A gasp resounded through the room. Himeko didn’t expect her to set the vibrations at the highest intensity.
“Look at me.” She firmly grabbed her jaw.
Himeko had no other choice but to lock her eyes into hers while she desperately tried to keep quiet. The longer the vibrator was on, the more she was getting agitated. When tried to rub her clit, Kafka suddenly turned it off.
“Did I allow you to touch yourself?” She shook her head dramatically in disapproval. “Answer.”
“… No.”
“You’re disappointing me."
She crouched behind her and grabbed her arms, expertly tying them against her back. She sat back on the bed and turned the vibrator on again. This time, Himeko didn’t hold back her moans, to Kafka’s delight. She caught her squeezing her thighs together— not that she was trying to hide it anyway.
Warm and electric at the same time, pleasure went through her body, making her head spin. She made her head spin and this, without even touching her. Once again when she was about to come, Kafka turned off the vibrator which fuelled her irritation even more but she didn’t let it show.
Without a word Kafka took off her shoes that she threw on the floor. Still seated, the latter extended her leg, flicking her eyes to Himeko. Words were not needed, she instantly knew what she was asking her to do. She hesitated, it was too humiliating but that said, she ached so much for her touch that she settled for her leg.
After a few tries to find a comfortable position without losing her balance, she pressed her wet cunt against Kafka’s leg. She slowly thrusted her hips up and down under the lusty eyes of Kafka who was biting her lower lip. It only took a few seconds for her tights to get soaked from Himeko’s wetness.
“Kafka…” She moaned.
Her desire grew even more, she wished she would’ve got rid of her tights so she could feel her skin. More, more, she wanted more. It wasn’t enough for her throbbing clit. The fact that the vibrator was still inside her made things worse since it was slightly moving when she moved her hips.
“Look at you desperately grinding on my leg like a slut. Aren’t you ashamed?”
Himeko felt sudden sensation of warmth that spread over her face and her chest at the sound of Kafka’s hot, sultry voice.
“Make me come please...” Himeko finally begged.
Kafka patted her head in approval before taking the remote and turned it on. Himeko nearly jolted when it started vibrating. Her legs were shaking which made her difficult to keep her balance but she kept on rubbing her cunt on Kafka’s leg, more intensely.
The sweat on her body made her feel hotter and chilled simultaneously as pleasure swelled in her core. She groaned, letting her head fall back when she felt it coming. Spurts of slick were leaking down her inner thighs, wetting Kafka’s leg and the floor.
When she finally reach orgasm, an intense wave her warmth overcame her body making her weak at the knees. She let a loud, final moan. She couldn’t stop gushing slick all at once, it kept on coming out and spilled everywhere. She tried to control her breath but she was still shaken. She glanced at Kafka who was visibly flustered.
“Good job.”
She helped her standing up and took the vibrator out her cunt before making her sit on her lap. She left kisses on her chest, leaving lipstick stains all over it. Himeko let soft moans as she felt aroused again. It was agonising, she wanted her lips, her hands everywhere on her body. She couldn’t wait anymore.
“I want you, Kafka.” She said in a pleading tone.
Finally it happened. A pleasant feeling of fulfilment overwhelmed her when their lips crushed. Their kiss was messy— their teeth were clacking together but they didn’t care. Kafka slid her hands down her waist and firmly gripped her butt. She could feel the heat exuding from her hands through her leather gloves
Her heart was pounding so furiously that she wondered if Kafka could hear it. Kafka eagerly nibbled her lower lip before biting it so hard that it drawn blood. Tears formed in the corner of Himeko’s eyes but Kafka wiped them with her thumbs. She licked the blood, wiping it away on Himeko’s lip before sliding her tongue into Himeko’s mouth.
She tasted the metallic taste of her own blood as Kafka brushed her tongue against hers. It was becoming difficult to breathe and as if Kafka read her thoughts, she broke the kiss.
“I’m going to mess you up.”
It wasn’t hard to please Himeko, after all she knew her too well. Hands and ankles tied, butt up, her head was resting against a pillow. She was crying out Kafka’s name while the latter’s face was stuck up to her soaking cunt, teasing her clit with the tip of her tongue. She had almost forgotten how divine she tasted. A taste so addicting that she couldn’t get enough of it.
She spread her lips and ardently licked her slit all the way up and down making Himeko wiggling her hips. She liked how easily Himeko gave herself in to her, how she couldn’t resist her. Neither she was indifferent to Himeko. She was irresistibly drawn to her and she didn’t want to let her go even if it meant following her to the ends of the world.
Slowly, she inserted the tip of her tongue into her slit which made Himeko let a surprised squeak. She pushed it a bit further and began flicking it rapidly which made Himeko jolt. With her free hand, she rubbed her twitching clit to add more stimulation. She wanted to overwhelm until she couldn’t take it anymore.
She was rubbing her clit so intensely that Himeko couldn’t stop squirming. Seeing her taking pleasure aroused her as well. She could feel her panties sticking to her cunt from her wetness. It wasn’t surprising, she took a lot of pleasure as well, seeing Himeko’s squirming from her touch was her reward.
“Please… Don’t stop.” Himeko whined.
The spurts of slick leaking out of her cunt indicated her that she was close again. She continued to rub her clit and added more pressure on it while she maintained the pace of her tongue. Her desperate whines resonated in the room. She who was so flustered at the beginning was now shamelessly telling her to not stop.
Himeko vigorously rubbed her cunt against Kafka’s face while she spurt her slick on the latter. Mouth opened, she stuck her tongue out as Himeko’s slick was dripping on it. The sheets were soaked. She licked her cunt one last time before getting off the bed.
She searched through her drawers again, searching for a certain object but it wasn’t in its place anymore. She turned to Himeko.
“Where is it? The thing.”
Even if she couldn’t see it but she knew was went red. She found it cute which was why she liked to tease her so much.
“In my desk’s drawer. I’ve made… Some improvements.”
It suddenly piqued her curiosity. When she opened the drawer, she wore a perplexed face. Nothing seemed to have really changed except for the colour of the harness. Garnet. Her favourite. The dildo was still the one they used, made with a jelly like material, red-coloured— another colour that Kafka liked.
“Naughty girl.” She grabbed the strap-on and observed it. “So, what kind of improvements did you make?”
“Ahem, I added a realistic function. Basically, the wearer can feel everything but I don’t know if it works well since I haven’t tested it… yet.” She explained.
“Well, we shall see.”
She wore it over her short and the harness perfectly matched her outfit. She sat next to her, untied her ankles and her legs for a few minutes so she could stretch them. She wanted to ask her some questions but she didn’t want to ruin the mood. She was easy to read but getting proper answers from her was another thing.
“Doggy.” She tugged on the leash. “Sit.”
She tapped on the edge of the bed, where she sat not without grumbling and she obediently awaited for her instructions. She caressed her hair and twirled it around her finger. Her long scarlet hair, that she always let loose because she had told her that she liked it this way so she could kiss it whenever she wanted to.
“Don’t push your luck, I could bite your fingers off.” Himeko warned.
“Oh my! My doggy is getting aggressive.” Without notice, she tugged on the leash and put her gloved fingers into Himeko’s mouth. “Take them off will you?”
Himeko mumbled incomprehensively before complying. She took off each of her gloves with her teeth not without shooting her a dirty look. Kafka tied her hands again before cupping Himeko’s head and bought her face closer to her cock. Himeko left a trail on kisses on it. It was faint she but she did felt something.
“Oh.
When Himeko started to lick it, moving forwards and backwards, she felt it. Her moist, warm tongue against her cock. The latter smiled, proud that her invention was functional. She continued to lick it, from the tip to the bottom. Kafka was agreeably surprised, she didn’t expect it to feel so good. Her cheeks started feeling hot and Himeko didn’t fail to see it.
She suddenly wrapped her mouth around her cock and took it deeper into her mouth. She slowly moved her head and increased the speed little by little. It sent electric shocks through her body, building up the heat below her stomach. Her breathing became irregular, a groan escaped her mouth.
She knew that if Himeko kept going on, she would finish quickly. Each stroke, the warmth of her mouth and her provocative stare intoxicated her, sent electric tingles of pleasure on her cock, that she could feel on clit. It was almost like an extension of it. But what she wanted the most was to feel was her. She took a step back.
“Is it too much for you to handle?” Himeko joked.
“Oh, I can definitely handle it. But right now, I want you.” Kafka smiled.
She gently lied her down on the bed and put her arms above her head. She took her time to admire her body. With her fingertips, she caressed her breasts and lingered on her hard nipples to tease her. Then she moved them along the curves of her waist and her hips.
She leaned in to leave a kiss on her stomach, which made Himeko shudder. One. Two. Three. She lost the count as she began covering her stomach of kisses. She couldn’t stop. She had missed it—the smell of skin, her warmth, the way her body reacted when she touched her. Everything.
She slowly went up and when she arrived at the level of her breasts, she looked up at her. Her eyes were filled with lust and a hint of sadness. She knew it was her fault. It probably triggered some memories of the past. She wondered what she saw in her eyes. Could she see the guilt? Her love? Even for a moment, she wanted to take her sadness away.
She kissed her nipple before parting her lips to lick it. She twirled her tongue around it and when it became wet enough she started to suck it. She could hear Himeko exhaling loudly. With her free hand, she reached for her breast to caress it before gripping it firmly. She began massaging it and rolled her nipple between her fingers.
Her cheeks reddened at the sight of Himeko writhing under her touch. She pulled away from her and reached for her cock. She stroked her cunt with it, coating it with her wetness. She added a bit more pressure and that was enough to make Himeko gasp. She teased her clit by rubbing the tip of her cock on it, slowly and steady.
“Hurry up Kafka.” Himeko complained.
“Unless you beg for it I’m going to take my time.”
She growled in discontentment which amused Kafka. She liked getting on her nerves, pushing her to make things she usually didn’t do because of her pride. Because no matter what, she couldn’t refuse anything to her.
She pressed the tip of her cock against her entrance, thrusted her hips to insert it inside and stopped. She repeatedly went in and out while observing her with a grin.
“Just fuck me already damnit!”
She ignored her and still continued to pull her cock in and out, completely unfazed.
“Fuck me, please.” She pressed her.
“Much better.”
Himeko’s entrance was so slippery that her cock easily slid in. She was already trembling when it wasn’t even all the way in yet. She slowly pushed it further and gradually increased the speed of her thrusts. She felt her walls clenching around her cock, sucking it in as she was going deeper inside her. It sent shivers through her body.
They were both panting heavily, lost in the heat of the moment. Kafka grabbed her legs, rested them on her shoulders as she gripped her hips to accelerate the pace. Her entire length fitted inside her cunt. It took her breath away as a wave of pleasure engulfed her. Her clit couldn’t stop pulsating underneath her panties from the stimulation.
She was still clothed yet she felt everything. From her warmth, her slippery walls to the way they were wrapping her cock. At each thrust, she was getting wetter. She ardently slammed her body against her wet cunt, eager to feel more of her. She leaned in and passionately kiss her.
Moaning against each other’s mouth, they hungrily tasted each other’s lips as they were both out of breath. She knew she was about to come when she started feel dizzy. Her clothes suddenly became too stifling. She closed her eyes when it hit her, just like a lightning bolt. She kept the pace and let a succession of loud gasps.
She decreased the pace until she completely stopped moving. She was hot and panting heavily.
“What an amazing creation.” Himeko fought a smile as Kafka praised her. She knew that she was flustered, after all she loved being praised. “You’ll tell me how exactly it works later okay?”
“Later?” She asked, confused.
“Yes, because I’m not finished with you.”
She thrusted her hips roughly and quickly, which made Himeko whimper. When she began to rub her clit with her thumb, the latter moved her hips in a circular movement, adding more pressure on her cock. Kafka had just come but it bought new sensations that she had never felt before.
Himeko’s cries of pleasure filled the room as Kafka rubbed her thumb faster on her clit. Her walls were twitching and squeezing Kafka’s cock. She was in awe as she watched Himeko coming. Her body tensed up and her whimpers got louder. Her pupils were dilated, she was breathing heavily. She looked so captivating.
Especially when she was looking at her right in the eye and moaned her name before being consumed the pleasure overcoming her body. Her walls clenched and unclenched around Kafka’s cock and for the third time today, she squirted all over the sheets.
Kafka’s eyes widened in surprise when she felt something warm coming out of her cock, spilling inside Himeko’s cunt as she came. She pulled her cock out and a gush of cum leaked out of Himeko’s cunt. She shot a questioning look at her and her face was so red that it was almost the same colour as her hair. She burst into laughter.
“You didn’t tell me you added this feature. You’re full of surprises, Himeko.”
“Don’t mock me.” She turned her head away in shame.
“I am not! It’s amazing.”
“Can you untie me now? My arms hurt.”
She took off the strap-on and threw it on the bed before straddling her to untie her. She pinned her arms on the bed, under the confused look of Himeko. Instead of getting off her, she didn’t move. She silently gazed at her. Love was pouring out of her heart as she scanned her face. She definitely didn’t fall out of love with her. She knew it, she just didn’t want to face it.
“I would’ve preferred you to leave after that.” Himeko said in a coldly voice.
“Sweetheart, I’m not that cruel.”
She suddenly had an uncontrollable fit of laughter. As she was laughing, her voice broke down and tears rolled on her cheeks.
“How can you say that? I’m hurting everytime I see your face.” She sniffled. “I wish you could go far away and never come back but at the same time, I miss you so much that I feel like I’m dying.”
Pangs of guilt stabbed her heart when she heard her words.
“I never intended to hurt you, I’m-”
“Then why did you leave without saying a word? Did you just toy with me out of boredom?”
“I’m not that kind of person.” She sighed.
She recognised that it was all her fault. She was the one who put a wall between them while Himeko tried to break it. She didn’t give her the opportunity to because she ran away before she could. She was full of remorse. She could’ve explained it, just like an adult would and they would’ve parted ways in a less painful way. Instead of that, she ended up hurting both of them.
Of course she wanted to stay with her but she didn’t want to put her life in danger because of her actions. She was always on the run and she wanted her to have a stable life, doing her research and have thrilling adventures with her friends. Not constantly hiding and running away before her girlfriend was a criminal. Not only it would risk her life but also the career she had so much pride in building.
“You didn’t answer my question. Why did you leave?”
“I realised that I was putting you above everything.”
It came out harsher than she wanted which made Himeko bit her lip as she tried to not cry. It wasn’t a lie. Her goals were her priority and she didn’t want to lose sight of them which led her to break up with Himeko. She knew leaving her abruptly had been too brutal and she could’ve found a better way to do so but she didn’t want to see her cry.
“That’s it? That’s your explanation?” She pushed her, which made her fall next to her.
She wrapped herself with a blanket and walked to the door before turning to Kafka.
“I think you should leave. Your crew must be waiting for you.” She pointed to the door. “You’re wasting my time.”
Kafka was saddened. She didn’t want to tell her the real reasons, nor that she was still madly in love with her. What would it change anyway? They couldn’t go back together. They both took two opposite paths. She wasn’t even sure if Himeko still felt the same way. Maybe she had already move on and it was fine too. It didn't even make sense to her. She knew Himeko still loved her and that's what hurt the most. She preferred to think that she didn't anymore so she would feel less guilty.
The only thing she could do was to love her from far and make sure she didn’t get in danger. Unless her and crew managed to stop her then there would still be a chance for her to go back with her. But for now, it wasn’t possible. She wanted fate to do its thing. If they managed to stop her, so be it. If she failed to? Then it was meant to.
She reluctantly got up and walked towards the door while she took off her coat as the same time. When Himeko turned around to open the door, Kafka put her coat over her shoulders and pulled her against her with an arm around her neck. The latter didn’t say anything. Instead, she broke down in tears, which broke Kafka’s heart.
“I’m truly sorry. I’ve been really selfish and I didn’t consider your feelings.” She tightened their embrace. “I know it looked like I didn’t care about you but I did, and I still do. Even if we’re done… You still have a special place in my heart, Himeko.”
She left a kiss on her head and left her room without turning back. As she walked away, she could still hear her sobs behind the door.