Archive of Our Own

“give into me, give into me and i'll give into you / if you need it, or if you need to win, then i'd lose / if it brings me back to you / oh, i wanna get lost in the night, no / hold me in the dark, turn the lights down / and give me your electric touch / oh, i don't wanna think about distance / i just wanna be in your existence.”
— electric touch, A R I Z O N A

As soon as the door locks behind her with a click, Imogen falls back against it, head tilted back with a long, drawn-out sigh. She can already feel the weight of exhaustion pulling at her limbs, but she forces herself to stay upright as she focuses on rebuilding the mental walls that have gradually fallen down throughout the evening.

She loves the Hells, she really does, but God they can be… a lot.

She’s glad to be back in the tavern room, glad to be away from the constant buzz of the crowd, the constant pin-pricking feeling of people’s thoughts trying to enter into her mind. Most of all, she’s glad to be away from the sympathetic looks that the group have been giving her ever since Bassuras.

Ever since Laudna…

Her eyes open slowly, looking over at Laudna standing by the bed and unwrapping her shawl from her shoulders. 

She has already lit the sconces on the wall, filling the room with the warm glow of candlelight. The flickering golden light dances over her features and Imogen watches as it highlights the hollows of her cheeks and the sharpness of her jawline and… Gods, Imogen’s stomach flutters with an intensity that she can never quite explain in moments like these. She’s enchanting, a sight to behold. Imogen’s so certain that Laudna had been royalty in a past life. A princess, perhaps. The way she carries herself with grace and poise, delicate and soft and captivating. 

(She’d noticed the way Laudna had looked at the ring that Lady Vex’ahlia gave her. “A lady wore it,” she had said, excited and beautiful. “Does that make me a lady now?”)

And oh, the lengths she’d go to to make that happen if Laudna so wished. She’d move mountains for this woman. She’d pull the stars from the sky to put that beautiful smile back on her face. She’d compose entire symphonies with just the sound of her laughter. She’d cross continents and oceans, traverse the darkest, most terrifying parts of Exandria to bring her back. She did, and she’d do it all over again.

A painful, sudden ache forms in her heart as she thinks about how Laudna was meant for more than what Imogen can give her. She deserves everything, yet here she is in their small room at the tavern, with Imogen being too much of a coward to tell her just how much she means to her. Her words get stuck in her throat, like they always do, as her gaze follows Laudna’s every move; the way her fingers deftly work the laces of her shoes before she stands up and places them neatly on a chair beside the bed. She watches, eyes heavy and tired but so very attentive, as Laudna reaches up to pull the rock hammer out of her bun; watches dark hair cascade down past her shoulders, long strands falling through her fingers like silk. Her eyes follow the smooth curve of her neck as she tilts her head to the side and ruffles a hand through her hair. Transfixed, Imogen admires the way Laudna moves through the motions. Every movement is deliberate and precise, yet still graceful, still mesmerizing, still familiar, reminding Imogen that she really is here. She really did come back to her.

And she’s not sure why, but something as simple as watching Laudna getting ready to wind down for the night in the privacy of their shared space causes Imogen’s heart to swell with affection. For a brief moment, Imogen forgets about the world outside of their small room, forgets about the dangers that lurk in the shadows. Otohan, her mother, Ruidus, the solstice; everything fades out of existence as she watches her.

Despite how drained the week’s events have made her, despite the migraine chipping away at her composure, despite the way her heart physically aches at the memories of Laudna’s body, unmoving, in their bed on the skyship : she smiles.

Because Laudna is right there. Really there. Alive again.

Her fingers twitch as she puts them behind her back, fists clenching against the tight leather of her gloves with the urge to reach out and touch, before they splay out flat against the door behind her. There’s a deep longing that has sat in her chest for days— weeks, even. A longing to feel the chill of Laudna’s body against the warmth of her own again, to give everything over to her, every tiny, insignificant part of herself, for Laudna to take it all and then some. To kiss her, to hold her, and oh, she aches to be held in return. 

It’s been a while since she’s allowed herself to look at Laudna like this; since she’s felt the agonizing, hopeless pang of desperation that threatens to consume her entirely. It’s something she’s felt numerous times over the past two years since meeting Laudna, and no amount of physical distance she closes between them ever seems to be enough. 

Isolated in Gelvaan with nobody but the horses to talk to, she hadn’t really wanted anyone before Laudna; hadn’t understood the books that she’d kept hidden away under her bed that would describe yearning for someone so desperately that you would do anything to feel even the most innocent of touches against you. She hadn’t thought it was even a possibility for her given how often other people’s desires entered her mind unprompted. She’d shudder at the thought, unable to fathom wanting to share that part of herself with anybody.

But then, Laudna… Laudna was captivating. Horrifying. Delightful. A monstrous, beautiful witch in the woods that the entirety of Gelvaan was afraid of. The only one whose thoughts were like a soothing balm against her mind instead of the jumbled, endless cacophony that pierced into her like knives. Just her presence alone gave Imogen a sense of safety and comfort that she’d never felt before. A reason to keep going despite the constant, overbearing need for it all to stop. 

And two years on the road with her, sleeping close to her, cuddling for warmth on rainy nights, touching each other softly in the privacy of their tent in the woods or any homes they could fix up. Sharing baths, sharing looks, sharing hushed, trusting moments together but never really talking about it (which is fine, Imogen thinks, because it was enough. It was always enough, because it was always Laudna. Talking about it meant the possibility of it ever stopping, and Imogen never wanted it to stop.) 

Those two years were everything, and Imogen’s heart stings at the precious memories that seem so far away now.

The first time she heard Laudna’s laugh, sitting opposite her over tea. It had lit up the room, and Imogen had hung onto every word she said, content to just sit and listen to her endless tales of traveling across Tal’Dorei with Pâté. 

The first shelter they sought out after running from Gelvaan, soaked from the rain, still shaken by the events of the night. The townspeople and the shouts and the violence and how easy it was to choose Laudna over the people that had turned their backs on her when she turned out to be different. And Gods, the way Laudna had looked at the glowing marks on her arms with awe instead of fear, thanking her so graciously for saving her, not knowing that she was the one that had saved Imogen first.

Feeling Laudna’s hand slipping into hers unprompted, before she excitedly pointed out an abandoned looking barn that they quickly made into a home before they were run out a month later. The way she’d brush Imogen’s hair from her face after a nightmare, how she’d trace sharp, deadly fingers so kindly over her temples to try to ease her pain. 

The first kiss Laudna pressed to her cheek happened on a cloudy morning after Imogen woke abruptly from sleep. Another nightmare about the storm. They had been sharing a bed for weeks, seeking comfort and safety in each other as they traveled through the Taloned Highlands. It was delicate. A sweet kiss. A gesture of affection that went beyond simple companionship. It was a promise. Another way for Laudna to tell her ‘I’m here, I’m not leaving if you’re not. I’ve got you, Imogen.’

It became a regular occurrence after that. The innocent cheek kisses became tender forehead kisses, until eventually Laudna had turned to her one cold night, tucking Imogen’s hair behind her ear before she slowly leaned in to press a soft kiss against the corner of her mouth.

It took weeks before Imogen garnered enough courage to guide Laudna’s hand to her shorts, a silent plea for her to love her, a desperate hope for Laudna to stay, a fierce desire to be wanted in return. Laudna’s movements were so slow and loving as they learned her, fingers trailing across glowing scars and freckles like she was mapping out every inch of her, committing her to memory. And the way Laudna looked at her, back then, with a tenderness that had cracked Imogen in half and mended her broken form in equal measure; a deep devotion that made her feel truly loved, truly cherished in a way she never had been before. 

It never occurred to Imogen to talk about what they were, to put a name to their relationship. To this day, she still doesn’t really know. The only thing that mattered was the trust they had in each other. The unspoken agreement that whatever it was, it was theirs. It would always be just them. A silent agreement that no matter what, they didn’t have to be alone anymore. It was a refuge from a world that was always too cruel to them. It was finding solace in each other, building a home with each other; an unspoken understanding that throughout it all, they were going to stay. 

It was the deepest connection that either of them had ever had, and throughout all of the dangers and the joy and the heartbreak they went through, throughout all of life’s chaos, nothing would stop them—stop Imogen from returning to this.

The selfishness is certainly not lost on Imogen when she thinks about how glad she is that Laudna chose her to stay with. Truthfully, she doesn’t think she could’ve avoided falling in love with Laudna even if she tried. 

(And why would she, really? Loving Laudna is the one thing she feels she’s done right in her life.)

But now… Gods, now everything is so complicated. Her mother might still be alive, and Otohan is still out there and the moon is a fucking God-eating God and Laudna… Laudna had been… she was gone.  

The thought of it causes Imogen to ache, a deep feeling that starts in the pit of her stomach and rises to settle painfully in her chest. The thought of Laudna not being here with her right now. The thought of Ashton carrying her unmoving body around despite their own pain. The thought of turning to tell her something, only to realize she isn’t there. The thought of sleeping beside her body, with her but so very alone for the first time in two years.

No, Imogen reminds herself. Laudna is alive. She came back to her. Imogen promised to bring Laudna home, and she did.

“Imogen, are you alright?”

Imogen blinks with a sharp intake of breath, and she looks at Laudna to see that she is now standing just a couple of feet away from her. She’s without the belt that her trinkets and accessories hang from, her blouse only half tucked into her skirt on the right side, with the left side of it falling down past her shoulder.

There’s a hint of concern in her tired, knitted brow, but her dark eyes are still filled with warmth as she looks down at Imogen.

And Imogen knows she should say something, but she’s afraid that her heart is going to jump out of her chest at any moment. Afraid that the hot, fluttering feeling in her stomach, growing more intense the longer Laudna looks at her, is going to sunder her completely from the inside out if she dares to speak.

Her gloved fingers tap nervously against the door behind her before Laudna steps forward into her space, her hand reaching out to cup her cheek, and Imogen feels herself instantly melt into it. Her eyes flutter closed as she reaches out mentally, leaving the door to her mind open in case Laudna wants to come in. 

And when she does, it’s just like it was back then. It’s like waiting by the door while Laudna gathers herbs so they can cook dinner together. It’s pulling her into a warm hug on the porch step when she returns home to her. It’s pressing a kiss to the side of her head before they close the door behind them, shutting the world out.

Laudna is always welcome here. 

She breathes deeply at the soothing feeling of Laudna’s thumb stroking her cheekbone, and the welcome presence of soft, lilting music over their mental connection. She’s missed this. Gods, she’s missed it so much she could cry. She swallows thickly, her teeth clenching. Laudna must feel it because she tsks, tracing gentle fingertips slowly over the warm skin of Imogen’s jawline.

“What’s going on in that wonderful head of yours?”

“It’s fine,” Imogen responds on instinct, her voice soft and barely above a whisper as her hand comes up to rest over Laudna’s, holding it in place against her cheek, hoping it’ll keep her there for a while longer. “I’m fine.”

“Imogen.”

A nervous, embarrassed exhalation of laughter leaves Imogen instantly as she looks down at the floor to avoid Laudna’s eyes, unsurprised by how quickly her friend sees through her. Truthfully, she knows that Laudna is aware that she’s very much not fine, since she’s made herself at home inside her mind. She’s sure Laudna can feel the turmoil there, though she hopes it’s not hurting Laudna as much as it’s hurting her.

The past week has been traumatic for all of them, especially Laudna, but Imogen still struggles to put into words exactly how not fine she is, and she’ll die before she burdens Laudna with her reasoning.

How does she begin to explain the fear? The anger? The terror she felt at reaching out for the one thing in her life that she could protect, only to be met with silence? The excruciating, tormenting guilt? Of knowing that she was the one that brought the building down that Laudna was buried under? How can she put into words how empty she felt without the only comforting presence she’s ever known gone, just like that? How does she tell her that she slept beside her corpse every single night, her sobs lost into the empty void of the hole, prayers to deities that she doesn’t even worship going unanswered? That she begged her, over and over and over until her throat was hoarse, to just please… wake up. Laudna, you’re safe now. Can you hear me? You can wake up. You can come home.  

Her dreams, plagued with Laudna’s face. Not the usual bright smiles and wide, curious eyes, but the panic—the terror as Otohan’s blade pierced through her chest. How does she tell her that she was willing, without a single ounce of hesitation, to make a deal with Delilah to bring Laudna back to her? That she would’ve stopped at nothing to bring her home if Pike’s ritual had failed?

‘Ends of the earth. And beyond, as it happens.’ And Gods, how she had meant it with every fiber of her being.

Her magic thrums a little unsteady under her skin; searing hot in her palms and along her trembling fingers. It’s terrifying, knowing that the instability of her powers is what caused Laudna’s—Laudna’s…

“Hey.” A cold hand moves from Imogen’s cheek to her chin, tilting her face up so their eyes meet, and Imogen takes her own hand back. Her hand falters for a moment between them, hovering and unsure, like she’s forgotten how to work it, before it eventually comes to rest on Laudna’s waist. “Tell me what’s on your mind, dear heart.”

Her heart jumps at the words and she sucks in a deep, shaky breath, trying to quell the intense emotions that threaten to overwhelm her. She shouldn’t be surprised that Laudna notices the subtle change in her expression, especially given how close they are.

Laudna brushes a strand of hair from Imogen’s forehead, before she cradles Imogen’s face in both of her hands, running soothing thumbs over her cheeks again. Imogen doesn’t deserve the softness of Laudna’s eyes, or the gentleness of her touch as she holds her, but for tonight, she’ll pretend she does.

“Dear heart.” Imogen swallows hard, feeling that familiar fluttering sensation in her chest. She shakes her head almost imperceptibly, smiling, trying to play off her nerves, trying to change the subject. “That’s a new one.”

“Well, you are very dear to my heart, Imogen,” she says simply, returning her smile, and Imogen immediately finds herself feeling envious of the way Laudna so easily says what’s on her mind. She knows that Laudna has her own struggles when it comes to communication and vulnerability, but knowing that Laudna is so comfortable with her, knowing that Laudna isn’t afraid to tell Imogen just how much she means to her… it’s silly, but it makes Imogen feel brave.

“You’re dear to me too.” A painful, threatening swell of tears fill Imogen’s eyes at her own words as they sink in. She takes a deep breath and swallows the lump in her throat. Laudna’s smile softens, and Imogen feels a rush of warmth despite the chill of Laudna’s hands against her skin. Her eyes fall closed, a few stray tears falling down her cheeks, which immediately get swept away by Laudna’s thumbs.

“You don’t have to pretend to be okay, Imogen, not with me,” Laudna says. “You don’t have to lie.”

“I know, I know, I’m… Fuck, I’m tryin’,” she laughs again, a feeble and pathetic thing, the hitch in her throat betraying her. She bites the inside of her cheek and breathes in slowly, a hopeless attempt at trying not to break down. “I just… I…” She looks up, glassy eyes meeting Laudna’s. “I missed you, Laudna.”

“Oh, darling,” Laudna responds instantly, the tremble in her voice matching the quiver in her bottom lip. “I missed you.”  

“I wish I could—I… I want to tell you everything that’s going on in here,” she admits, voice wavering, motioning to her head, “but it’s just… fuck, it’s so hard, you know? It’s so much.”

Laudna’s brow furrows and Gods, she’s so pretty, Imogen thinks selfishly, painfully, even as she’s crying. She’s so pretty and she deserves more than what Imogen can give her. Someone who can tell her exactly what they’re feeling. Someone who isn’t a coward. Someone who can look into her eyes and tell her, honestly, just how much they cherish her.

“I’m sure I can handle it,” Laudna says with a tilt of her head. “It’s just me.”

Imogen wants to laugh, despite herself. It’s so funny. Of course Laudna doesn’t realize just how terrified Imogen is right now, even as her jaw clenches under her loving hands, even as her breath hitches painfully. Even as the tears fall.

“That's just it.” Imogen’s chest tightens and she feels something inside of her crack. “It’s you.”

She watches for a reaction, watches Laudna’s lips part like she’s about to say something before they close again, like the words won’t physically come. Imogen’s eyes close tightly, desperately wanting Laudna to say something.  

(She briefly wonders if this is how Laudna feels every time she bites her tongue, every time she stops herself from telling her the truth. If so, she hates herself even more for ever making Laudna feel this way.)

Laudna is still holding her face in her hands, and Imogen is about to apologize when she feels lips press gently against her forehead. They rest there softly for a few seconds, and when she pulls back, Imogen’s eyes open to see that Laudna’s own eyes are hooded and glistening and dark, staring down at her intently.

“I was so fucking scared,” Laudna whispers, resting her forehead against Imogen’s. She can’t help the wrecked sob that tears from her throat at the sound of Laudna’s voice cracking; the raw vulnerability in her tone striking Imogen like a sword through the chest. It’s fitting, and the phantom ache of it stays there, makes itself at home in her fragile skin. 

Laudna’s hands drop to rest on Imogen’s shoulders, clutching tightly at the leather harness she hasn’t had a chance to remove yet. Her own shaking hands rest on Laudna’s hips, before one hand slides around to the small of her back and presses, pulling their bodies flush against each other. 

“I thought I was gone,” Laudna breathes out after a beat. “For good, this time. I couldn’t bear it, Imogen, knowing that I left you.”

There’s only a few inches between them and Imogen’s heart hammers against her chest as Laudna starts to slowly move forward. Her eyes close again, head tilting up slightly when she feels cold breath against her face, before Laudna’s lips press ever-so-gently against the corner of her mouth.

“I’m here now, though,” Laudna breathes out, her hands sliding from Imogen’s shoulders to the back of her neck, fingers tangling in lilac curls. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“You’re here,” Imogen repeats, exhales the words against her lips like a prayer, letting them ghost between them, unsure of whether she’s reassuring Laudna or herself. Her right hand comes up to rest against Laudna’s collarbone, gripping tightly at the material of her blouse, and she tugs.

Their lips meet fiercely this time. Her hand runs up Laudna’s bare shoulder, up past her neck and cheek to brush her hair out of her face, as the hand resting on her hip pulls her closer until Imogen is being pinned against the door.

And it’s by far the first time they’ve ever kissed like this but the feeling still overwhelms her senses entirely. It feels different to their quiet moments on the road, starved for affection, holding each other close, trying to push away the intense feelings of loneliness they’ve felt for most of their lives. It’s different to the way they would laugh as they bathed in the river, splashing water at each other before drifting towards one another just to feel close to somebody. It’s different to the unspoken I need you’s as they fell into bed at the end of a stressful day, voicing their desires but not the intense feelings they were both harboring for each other.

It’s urgent now. It’s pressing, suffocating even, with the knowledge of just how limited their time on Exandria actually is.

Imogen feels the weight of that urgency as her throat tightens, lips parting as she pulls Laudna into her, kissing her deeply, pleadingly, because God, Laudna was gone. She’d really lost her. She had lost the one thing in this dreadful world that she cared for, and this is the only way she can express just how enormously she felt— still feels that loss.

Laudna’s hands tangle in Imogen’s hair, holding her close, as if she’s trying to anchor herself to Imogen just as much as Imogen is to her. Their lips move together, soft but frantic, familiar and new all at once, each movement borne from a deep yearning that’s been building for two years now.

And yet, even as Imogen kisses Laudna with all the passion and intensity she’s capable of, she knows that it’s not enough. It’s not enough to express the depth of her feelings towards her, the significance of the devotion that’s been growing so painfully inside of her. It’s not enough to make up for all the times she’s held back, all the moments she’d beg her brain to just let her say something; all the times she’s been too scared to admit just how in love with Laudna she really is.

Her mind is a blur of sensations. The cool press of Laudna’s body against hers, the heat and humidity in the room, the feeling of sharp claws tangling in her hair, the quiet, soft sounds that escape Laudna’s mouth. She’s too good, too good for her. The taste of her, saccharine sweet but with a faint iron-like tang. Like metal, almost. Like metal, like blades, like blood… Otohan’s blade and Laudna’s blood and the taste of bitter dust kicking up from the fallen buildings, the buildings, and Laudna’s hand sticking out of the bricks and Laudna… Laudna? Laudna… No.

She whimpers, pulls her closer, feels Laudna’s usually sluggish heart beating hard against her ribcage, almost matching the intensity of her own, like their hearts are fighting to be freed. It grounds her, brings her back down to this tavern room, where the two of them are safe. Laudna’s safe now, she reminds herself, because she’s in Imogen’s arms, and Imogen is never going to let go, never going to let anyone touch a hair on Laudna’s head ever again. She squeezes Laudna closer, tries to swallow around the lump in her throat that feels like it’s trying to asphyxiate her.

Laudna must feel it—the anguish and the longing—because she lets out a soft, strangled noise and Imogen inhales it, devours it, finds herself wanting to keep it inside of her chest forever, to display it next to her broken heart, next to all the other sounds and things Laudna says that Imogen is in love with .  

Cold, shaking hands slide from Imogen’s neck down to the straps on her harness again, this time sliding them off of her shoulders and reaching down to undo the buckle holding it together. It drops to the floor with a thud and a tinktinktinktink as some of the gold pieces in her coin purse fall out, and Imogen can’t even find it in herself to care.

She pulls Laudna closer, breathing heavily into her mouth, battling with the need to pull away to catch her breath, or stay this way and let Laudna take it all for herself. And Gods, how gladly she’d give it to her.

“I can’t… I can’t lose you,” Imogen murmurs, choking on her words. She switches to their mental connection and gets hit with an overwhelming onslaught of desire and heartbreak and love and pure, bone-chilling sadness from Laudna’s consciousness. I can’t go through that again, Laud. I don’t think I’d survive it this time.

Laudna’s mental response is immediate, a strong surge of determined, unwavering affection as her hands slide back up Imogen’s torso, hands coming up to rest on the hem of her waistcoat. 

You won’t have to. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.

She manages to get all but two of the buttons on Imogen’s waistcoat undone, and she doesn’t treat it with the same care as the leather harness. When Laudna wraps her claws around the material, bunching it up in her fists before tugging hard and causing the last two buttons to pop off, Imogen finds the breath in her lungs rushing out in a deep, needy exhale.

Laudna, she whispers, pleads, through their shared connection as she helps Laudna shrug it off to join her harness on the floor, though she’s not quite sure what she’s asking for. Maybe she just needs to say something to make sure this is real and she’s not dreaming it. Maybe she just needs to hear Laudna’s voice. Maybe she needs reassurance that this time it really is different. It feels different. Gods, please let it be different.

But Laudna just responds with another whimper as she presses Imogen harder against the door with as much strength as her weak and exhausted body can muster, kissing her with a need that Imogen has never felt before. Her hands come up to the top button of Imogen’s dress, hesitating before she pops it through its hole. She undoes another, then another, and the feeling of Laudna undressing her sends a jolt of something up Imogen’s spine, traveling up until it settles with a dull vibration at the base of her skull. It’s powerful and hungry and deadly and her fingers grip Laudna’s hips with force, tightening their hold on her skirts and pulling her closer and she hears the worn out fabric rip.

Laudna stops unbuttoning her dress when she’s about halfway down, leaving it hanging off of her shoulders. Their lips part, breathless and panting, foreheads resting against each other, and Laudna looks down at her with an expression that Imogen can’t quite decipher, despite how easy Laudna usually is to read. There’s hesitation in her hooded, hungry, desperate eyes, and the whiplash of emotions makes Imogen’s hands shake. 

Then.

“Darling, can you touch me?” she asks, not knowing the lengths Imogen’s heart has gone to stop herself from asking her the very same thing for months now. “My head is just—I… I missed you so,” she grips blue, sheer fabric tightly in her claws, “and… I need… It’s been so long… and—and I just—,” Imogen nods quickly, cutting Laudna off.

“Yes,” she says, practically begs, her mind already foggy and impatient as she slides her hands under Laudna’s blouse. The leather of her gloves is now warm with pulsing, glowing, excited energy as she holds Laudna’s slender waist in her hands, and she leans forward to attach her mouth to the exposed skin of Laudna’s collarbone.

Her hands walk lightly up the ridges of her rib cage under her shirt, as she kisses her skin. Up and down and back up again, before sliding around to her back. Her fingers glide up the bumps of her spine before digging in slightly, putting a little pressure there to make Laudna arch her chest into her. She bites down gently against the swell of Laudna’s breast, exhaling at the whimper that tumbles from Laudna’s mouth in response.

Laudna’s fingers reach up to tangle in her hair again, nails scraping lightly across her scalp. Imogen sighs, leaning into it completely, and her lips part slightly as she takes in the taste of Laudna's skin. She takes her time, kissing over her shoulders and her collarbones and her chest and her breasts, hands rubbing soothing circles over her back whenever Laudna tenses up.

Then, with a throaty whimper, Laudna slowly guides Imogen’s head towards her neck.

And despite the desperation, the gut-wrenching longing inside of her chest, Imogen stops for a second. She stops and she looks up at Laudna, eyes hooded and dazed, drunk from the taste of her skin, and she asks her, panting, “Are you sure?”

“Please.”

The word sinks into Imogen’s bones, a cool balm to the red hot ache in her chest.

She cranes her neck up, leans in slowly, presses warm, careful lips to the cold skin of Laudna’s throat.

Laudna gulps against her and a sigh escapes Imogen’s lips at the reaction. Soft skin turns into jagged scars as Imogen moves her kisses towards Laudna’s jugular, and she feels hot tears spring to her eyes at the feeling of rough skin under her lips for the first time. She drinks the feeling in, urging her lips across the expanse of her neck. She longs to map out every scar with her lips, desperately wants to show Laudna how deeply she loves each and every one. 

And it’s not that Laudna hasn’t trusted her before, it was just, well, there’s not much feeling there anymore, she would tell Imogen in her head, never voicing it out loud. I can’t feel anything, that’s all, and I’d much rather you kiss me elsewhere, darling.

Her hands glide up Laudna’s rib cage, thumbs grazing the undersides of her breasts as she kisses slowly. She can feel the tension and anxiety that had been building up in her body start to dissipate, sinking into the trust that Laudna has placed in her. Laudna’s chest arches into her, fingers threading in thick hair, holding her against her like a vice. 

For the first time, Imogen allows herself to feel the full force of her love for Laudna. She lets it wash over her like a tidal wave, filling her lungs until it threatens to drown her completely, but she doesn’t falter. Her hands splay out across Laudna’s lower back, mildly possessive, as her neck cranes up to kiss her way up to her pulse point. She lingers, drawing skin between her lips and sucking, but not enough to leave a mark. She can feel the racing beat of Laudna’s pulse against her lips, faster than she’s ever felt it before, and she can’t help the way her hands press, holding Laudna flush against her as she kisses her way back down just as slowly as her ascent. Her lips tremble as they brush over the scars until eventually, her teeth scrape lightly over her collarbone again. Laudna’s response is a soft, teary sigh, and Imogen pulls back just enough to look up at her. 

The sclera of her eyes have completely blackened over, intense and unsettling and beautiful as they swallow all of the light in the room. Imogen swallows, her throat bobbing, heart slamming against her chest. It feels like she could get lost in them, and she feels crushed with the weight of everything that has happened in the past few weeks. It threatens to devour her, but Laudna’s hold grounds her, as always.

She reaches up to hold Laudna’s face in her hands. Electricity thrums in her shaking fingertips, unsteady and impatient. The room falls silent, almost like the darkness of Laudna’s eyes has sucked not only the light, but all of the sound out of the room; sucked all of the breath from Imogen’s lungs too, and all she can think is it’s alright, you can take it, take everything from me.

Laudna’s hands come up to rest over both of hers, nails digging into rough leather.

“Your—” Laudna’s voice cracks and she clears her throat before trying again. “Your gloves. Can I…?”

Imogen nods, letting Laudna bring her hands down from her face, not tearing her eyes away from Laudna’s even when she breaks eye contact.

Laudna lets one hand go, taking the other in both of her own and turning it over, fingers gliding over the warm leather. She unbuckles the wrist strap, loosening the glove before sliding two fingers in and slowly pulling it off, making sure to be careful with her actions despite how Imogen has told her countless times before that they don’t hurt.

Imogen’s heart settles calmly in her chest at the gentleness of Laudna’s actions, of how kind and careful her touches are. It feels incredibly intimate, even though Laudna has seen her without them before. She’s touched Laudna with these hands, she reminds herself; slipped them into her smallclothes in the early, muted mornings before the rest of the world was awake; slid them gently past her lips for her to taste herself off of them; used them to thread through Laudna’s hair as she looked up at Imogen from between her legs.

She feels herself twitch in her shorts at the mental image. That, paired with the way Laudna’s fingers trace delicately over glowing skin, the lightning marks thrumming with energy, before she leans down to press gentle kisses to each digit, is enough to pull a moan from Imogen, and she shifts restlessly against the door.

The gloves fall to the floor as Laudna gives her other hand the same gentle treatment, and Imogen finds her unoccupied hand reaching up to rest on Laudna’s arm, thumb stroking back and forth over the material of her blouse as she watches her. Laudna brings Imogen’s hand up to her lips again, kissing each finger in turn before pressing soft lips against the scars on the back of her hand. Her movements are delicate as they glide across her skin, tracing over the lines with such tenderness that Imogen wonders, briefly, if Laudna is trying to heal them.

She takes in a deep breath as Laudna guides the pads of her index and middle fingers to her mouth, watching intently as she kisses them first, before parting her lips. Her heart races, blood running hot as she feels Laudna’s teeth, sharper than any regular human, scrape gently across the split skin of her glowing scars, scars that are now practically vibrating in anticipation.

She has a brief thought of it’s never felt like this , before her breath catches in her throat as she watches Laudna's tongue swirl around her fingers. Her mouth is cool, a stark contrast to the growing warmth of Imogen’s scars. Dazed, Imogen watches her fingers slip past Laudna’s bottom lip slowly and then Laudna wraps her lips fully around them, sucking them into her mouth.

Her mind feels like it’s fit to burst with a thousand different thoughts, heavy like static, mingling together to create a constant buzz that vibrates in her bones. Only, it’s not the usual painful feeling of being in a crowd full of too many people. The thoughts are her own, scattered and messy, and Laudna’s thoughts filter in too. Whispers of how beautiful Imogen is, of how desperately she wants her, of how much she’s missed touching her, of how she misses her even now.

Then there’s the thoughts about what they’re going to do next. About Otohan. About how to be better next time they face her, telling herself to stay as far away as she can, but also—Imogen’s heart breaks—the frantic need to protect them. Protect Imogen and the rest of the group, and Gods, the guilt she feels there. The guilt is the heaviest, Imogen notices. The guilt is screaming I need to repay them. I have to protect them—protect her.

But amidst the chaos of Laudna’s thoughts, the grief in her heart, there’s an overwhelming desire to be closer, and Imogen finds herself quickly melting into it. She pushes her own jumbled thoughts down to deal with later, and she switches their position so Laudna is the one pinned against the door. She pulls her fingers out of her mouth and this time, she doesn't really press her lips against Laudna’s, but captures them with her own instead.

It’s softer, but still frenzied, as Imogen attempts to pour all of herself into it. Not just the desire but the devotion, the love, the protectiveness, everything. She lets go completely, and she lets herself be consumed in return, as Laudna gasps into her mouth.

“Imogen,” Laudna breathes against her lips, and it’s quiet but so very raw and vulnerable, and Imogen’s hands, now gloveless and trembling, one wet with Laudna’s spit, come up to grasp at the material of her blouse as she kisses her into the door.

“I’m here,” she rasps, barely audible over the sound of their mingled, frantic breaths.

When Laudna’s hips move forward and her thigh brushes against Imogen’s shorts, she feels a burning heat drape itself around her neck, sitting there uncomfortably and heavy and all at once she feels nervous. Terrified. Which is stupid, she thinks, because this is Laudna. They’ve done this before. She’s explored parts of herself with Laudna that she never would have with anybody else. She’s been at the complete mercy of her touches, naked and vulnerable in a way that she never has before. She’s felt this woman grind herself to climax against her leg, fully clothed and panting. She’s felt her walls pulse around her fingers and her tongue and… 

She shivers, her mind conjuring up images from the past of herself kneeling above Laudna on their small cot, sliding herself between Laudna’s legs while looking down at her beautiful, naked form. She thinks about Laudna sitting behind her as they traveled through the woods on horseback, sliding deft fingers into her shorts until Imogen’s head was falling back against Laudna’s shoulder. She thinks about the fluttering of Laudna’s walls around her, pinned against a tree in the Highland Bluffs, too impatient to wait until they got back to their camp.

So why has her brain decided to short out now?  

Imogen’s fingers are trembling just like they had back then as she pulls back, and she feels herself immediately relax when she looks into Laudna’s dark eyes. It’s one of the things that Imogen has always loved the most about her. Her ability to calm Imogen down from terrifying heights, before Imogen has even had the chance to figure out why she’s freaking out in the first place.

She watches Laudna swallow thickly, before she takes a hold of her own skirt and slides it down her legs, letting it fall to the floor. 

Wordlessly, she takes Imogen’s hand in hers, guiding it to the front of her smallclothes, and Imogen’s breath hitches when she feels just how warm Laudna is there compared to the rest of her body. She lets her head fall forward against Laudna’s collarbone as she pins her to the door and—“Fuck,” she rasps, her already wet fingers pressing against Laudna’s damp underwear.

Laudna immediately gasps, arching her back slightly as she presses herself further into Imogen’s hand, a silent plea for more. She wraps her arms around Imogen’s shoulders to keep her close, and the noises she’s making causes Imogen to twitch again, hardening in her shorts.

The back of Laudna’s head drops to rest against the door, and Imogen looks up at her in awe, the desire radiating from Laudna’s body and mind making her head spin as she feels her swollen clit through wet fabric. Laudna’s response comes as a low moan, her eyes fluttering shut as she reaches down to grip Imogen’s wrist, holding, anchoring her there. Imogen leans in, attaching her lips to Laudna’s neck as she slowly circles her clit, wanting nothing more than to take care of her.

She kisses her way down to the swell of Laudna’s breast, before the hem of her blouse stops her from going further. Her unoccupied hand slides up Laudna’s stomach over the material, up past her ribcage and breasts, tugging the front of her shirt down and to the side to expose her.

And if she wasn’t at eye level with Laudna’s chest, she’s not sure she would’ve noticed it: the faint, jagged scar starting halfway down her sternum and ending just below her ribcage.

Her words immediately get lodged in her throat, clinging there long enough that she feels like she’s about to choke on them. She removes her hand from Laudna’s center, barely aware of the soft, impatient whimper that Laudna lets out at the loss of contact. She can feel through their shared connection just how much Laudna needs her, how good Imogen’s hand between her legs felt, how desperate she is for more, but… 

There’s a tremor in her hands as she works her fingers under the bottom of Laudna’s blouse and slowly glides the material up. Laudna lifts her arms up, letting Imogen lift it over her head before dropping it to the growing pile of clothes on the floor beside them. Her fingers work quickly at the clasp of Laudna’s bra, letting that fall haphazardly to the floor too. 

Her hands slide up Laudna’s stomach, painting a faint line of Laudna’s essence in their wake. The contrast of the dark ichor against Laudna’s pale skin leaves her a little breathless, and Laudna looks down at her, her own chest rising and falling with ragged, unsure breaths.

“Imogen,” she rasps quietly, too quietly, and she clears her throat and says it again. “Imogen?”

She looks up at Laudna, blinking, and the backs of Laudna’s fingers come up to stroke her cheek. Her touch is so gentle, and Imogen eyes fall closed at the feeling, sucking in a deep, shaky breath.

“Sorry,” she whispers, and the timbre of her own voice feels distant and rough, like it’s coming from somebody else entirely. A lump forms in her throat and she feels hot tears spring to her eyes as her gaze drops to the scar again, guilt coiling in her stomach.

Delicately, she runs her index finger over it. It has healed from Pike’s magic, but it somehow feels warmer compared to the rest of Laudna’s skin. She traces its path with such gentleness that the touch is almost imperceptible, but Laudna’s breath still hitches at the contact. 

It’s rough and raised, an imperfect groove that lives there permanently now, another piece of Laudna that she loves with her entire being, and it moves with each slow inhale and exhale of Laudna’s breath.

Imogen’s mind races with the memories of that day, of Otohan’s blade and the light leaving Laudna’s eyes and the blood. So much blood. All the sorrow and rage and grief wash over her, a maelstrom of sensation and emotion that would send Imogen’s head reeling if it wasn’t for the fact that she somehow manages, in between the bubbling panic, to remind herself that Laudna is right here.

Laudna’s nails scrape gently over her scalp, massaging but not pushing, and Imogen’s head falls forward, lips pressing softly against the jagged skin. Her eyes squeeze shut, stomach tensing painfully as she lets out a heavy breath. Laudna wraps her arms tightly around her, hugging her to her chest, and Imogen immediately hugs her back with a whimper as she kisses the scar. Laudna shushes her gently, running her fingers through her hair as she holds her against her.

“It’s alright,” Laudna whispers. She presses a kiss to the top of Imogen’s head before she pulls back slightly, cupping Imogen’s face in her hands and tilting her head up to look at her. “It’s okay,” she says, nodding, like she’s trying to convince herself as well as Imogen. 

Imogen leans into her touch, feeling her heart pound until it feels almost too much to bear. As if sensing it, one of Laudna’s hands drops from her cheek down to her chest, resting over where Imogen’s aching heart sits. She’s sure that Laudna can feel it; sure that she feels the rapid, desperate beating of it under her skin; sure that she can sense it trying to break free from the confines of her chest. It’s as if it’s crying out to her, pleading for her touch, begging for Laudna to cradle it in her hands.

“Your heart,” Laudna whispers, and Imogen feels her chest tighten. It’s yours, she wants to say, but Laudna continues, her voice low. “Take a deep breath, Imogen.”

Imogen does so immediately, sucking it in quickly before she puffs it out shakily. Laudna guides her through the next breath, inhaling slowly for a few seconds before letting it out the same. They breathe together for a few moments, and Imogen feels herself calming down. 

Her heart does keep up the usual fast pace that it takes on every time she’s close to Laudna like this, but it’s not nearly as intense as before.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she breathes out softly, not realizing just how close to a panic attack she was. “Thank you. I’m sorry, I just… got a little overwhelmed.”

“None of that,” Laudna says, her hand still resting against Imogen’s heart. It splays out against her warm skin, and her tone is so kind as she whispers, “you don’t have to apologize, darling.”

Something about Laudna calling her that makes something inside of her feel like it’s melting. She hugs her again, nuzzles into her neck and breathes her in, filling her lungs with the scent of fallen leaves before pressing an open mouthed kiss to the skin there. 

She listens to Laudna breathe for a moment, feeling the way her chest expands slowly against her own, before kissing her way down her sternum once again. Soft lips graze over the scar and Imogen feels the hitch in Laudna’s breath as she kisses over the rise and fall of her chest. She trails her mouth across the swell of her breasts until her lips are wrapping around a pert nipple, bringing her other hand up to give her other breast some attention as she sucks and kisses and nibbles until Laudna is whimpering impatiently.

Her own scattered thoughts begin to fade, filling her mind instead, with Laudna’s own thoughts. The desire and the aching and the need for more and—Imogen’s stomach clenches with want—how much she wants to touch Imogen.

And then Laudna voices it, a soft, whispered “I want to touch you” as her hand glides down Imogen’s stomach, and Imogen feels herself drowning in it.

Insistent fingers move further down as Imogen struggles to come back up for air, moving across the planes of her stomach and across her abdomen. The touch tickles, and Imogen shudders at the feeling. A low groan falls from her lips when Laudna cups her through her shorts, before she traces the outline of the bulge there, smiling softly. 

“Can I? Please?” She asks, her eyes soft and pleading, and it’s a plea that Imogen will never not answer. She immediately nods. A nod can’t possibly communicate how badly she wants Laudna to touch her, but it’s all she can manage right now.

Laudna’s fingers shake slightly as she guides them across the front of her shorts. Imogen’s hips move closer at the touch, and Laudna greedily speeds up her actions, undoing the button. She pulls her hand away for a second, clenching her fist before stretching her fingers out, repeating the action a few times, trying to quell her nerves. It’s long enough for Imogen’s heart to stop pounding intensely against her chest, before it picks up again with renewed vigor when she feels the tips of Laudna’s fingers slide into her smallclothes, her knuckles running across the soft hair trailing up her abdomen.

She pulls the front of Imogen’s shorts down slightly, enough for her to slip her hand in and curl it around Imogen’s length. The first squeeze is light and testing, as if Laudna wants to make sure she's really all right to continue. Imogen’s reaction comes as a shudder as she leans forward, burying her face into Laudna’s neck. Even the tips of her ears tinge red, and she already knows Laudna is smiling, even as she presses a kiss to the top of Imogen’s head and scrapes her nails over her scalp. She can hear it in her voice as she asks her, a little breathless, “is this alright?”

And it should be an easy question to answer, but the words don’t come. A choked whimper is all that falls from her mouth, unable to think properly when Laudna’s hand is wrapped around her like this, caressing her, holding her so gently in her arms, pressing soft kisses to the top of her head. She thinks about maybe asking Laudna if they should move to the bed, but Laudna begins stroking her slowly, and she completely loses her ability to speak.

Laudna’s hand moves steadily, tracing up and down Imogen’s length with delicate strokes. Each time she reaches the tip, she pauses to thumb over the sensitive head, eliciting the throatiest of moans from Imogen. She leans forward, closer into Laudna, bracing herself with one hand against the door as she uses her other hand to grip Laudna’s hip, using it as an anchor to stop her legs from giving out underneath her.

“Is it alright, darling?” Laudna repeats.

Embarrassingly, she pulses hard in Laudna’s hand at the term of endearment, leaking over the tops of Laudna’s fingers.

“Yeah,” she responds with a nod, the words coming out as a soft murmur against the hollow of Laudna’s throat. “Feels… yeah. It feels really good.”

Imogen can’t imagine ever loving anybody else, trusting anybody else the way she trusts Laudna; trusts her with her body and her feelings and the noises she makes when Laudna touches her so gently; noises that she never wants anybody but Laudna to hear, to claim, to own. She feels her stomach flutter at the thought of being Laudna’s, and she knows she must look like a wreck already. The flush on her cheeks now spreads to her chest as she lets out a soft whine, feeling a little self-conscious at how easy it is to get her hard; at how easy it is for Laudna to turn her into a whimpering mess at just the slightest of touches. She feels her muscles tightening already, her breathing growing more and more ragged as she bucks up into Laudna’s hand. 

Laudna tightens her hold on Imogen’s hair and pulls, tilting her head back so Imogen is looking up at her. Laudna’s own breathing is ragged, her eyes dark and hooded. She’s watching for Imogen’s reactions, watching her whimper for her, watching her breath come out in short, sharp gasps. She’s taking in the way she pulses, the way she’s attempting to fuck Laudna’s hand, and the way she keeps a firm but gentle hold on Laudna’s hip as she leans against her. 

She holds her gaze, affection pouring from her eyes, smiling and making sure, still, even after all this time, that Imogen is okay with this.

And she’s so beautiful. She’s the most beautiful person Imogen has ever known. No word in any language comes close to describing just how beautiful she is. Imogen almost wishes she could invent her own language for it, but that would require thinking, and it's so hard to do that when Laudna is looking at her like this, touching her like this, showering her with soft kisses and all the care in the world.

“So pretty,” Laudna whispers, her voice low and soft. “My pretty girl.”

“Laudna, I—”

It’s abrupt, the way Laudna suddenly releases her hold on Imogen, causing her length to slap against her abdomen before coming to rest against her skin, cradled by the fabric of her smallclothes and shorts. Imogen doesn’t even get a chance to ask her why she has stopped before Laudna is lowering herself down onto her knees, hands running down Imogen’s thighs as she goes. Her nails scrape down softly, leaving the faintest of lines across her skin until they reach her knees, where the tops of her boots stop.

She starts with the right one first, fingers deftly working the laces of her boot, loosening them as much as she can. Imogen lifts her leg up, letting Laudna tug it off. It takes a few pulls, but Laudna is nothing but patient, nothing but absolutely loving with her actions. Watching Laudna take care of her like this sends a jolt through Imogen, and her hand automatically falls to stroke herself.

The other boot comes off soon after, and Imogen sighs softly as Laudna kisses her way back up her thigh, this time stopping at the holster strapped on her left leg. Long fingers slip under the brown leather, nails scraping lightly across the skin there. Laudna takes her time undoing the buckle of the straps, before it drops to the floor, and she immediately leans in to press her lips against red marks on Imogen’s thigh where the leather had been wrapped tightly around it. She kisses over the indentations, and Imogen’s legs weaken slightly, feeling surprisingly more vulnerable than she had been a moment ago. 

It’s not like the dagger is her only weapon—she’s more than capable with her magic, as Laudna is always the first to tell her—but it wasn’t always like that. It’s provided protection for her for years now, long before those purple scars had grown from her palms and spread upwards, splitting the skin from her fingertips to her elbow. Having that stripped away always causes her to feel a little exposed, a little uneasy, no matter how many times they’ve done this.

Imogen’s not sure Laudna senses the unease, but she does lean in to press a soft kiss to the inside of her knee as her fingers trail up her calf, and Imogen’s skin prickles slightly at the contact, a surge of affection welling up inside of her that causes her to relax and fall back into the trust that she’s placed in Laudna.

"Okay?" Laudna asks, her voice low as she looks up at Imogen. Imogen can only nod as she continues to stroke herself slowly, unable to find her voice. Her breath catches in her throat as Laudna’s hands move higher, slipping under her shorts and smallclothes before slowly sliding them both down her legs, leaving her in only her sheer dress and bra.

Imogen looks down at her, blinking, shuddering when Laudna’s nails gently scrape across the skin on her hips. 

“Laudna,” she rasps, feeling all of the love and desire and trust in her fragile body spilling out in anticipation. The intensity of the emotions that pulse through their shared connection makes Imogen whimper as her other hand reaches down to cup Laudna’s face, stroking the pads of her fingers over her sharp jawline, as she moves herself closer to Laudna’s mouth, drawn in like a magnet. “Please.”

Laudna exhales against her, her cool breath making Imogen twitch, before she’s pressing a gentle kiss to the sensitive head. Imogen feels herself—somehow, as if it’s even possible—grow harder as she watches herself leak onto Laudna’s lips. She watches as Laudna flattens her tongue, licking a stripe up the underside of it before flicking against the head. It makes her shudder, makes her almost fall forward against the door, and she has to lift up her arm to hold herself upright against it again. She feels herself grow hotter in her chest and her shoulders and stomach, as she watches Laudna open her mouth, letting Imogen guide her dick to rest against her tongue. It’s intense and overwhelming but so good, the way Laudna is looking up at her as she waits, and Imogen can’t help but press forward a little, eager for more.

Laudna takes her time. Each touch, each flick of her tongue is teasing, knowing exactly how to drive Imogen crazy. She knows exactly where to apply more pressure, where to linger, knowing exactly which parts of Imogen are the most sensitive. Laudna’s eyes are hooded and glazed over with black again as she looks up at her, smiling around the cock in her mouth, and Imogen almost comes undone at the sight alone. 

She wants to burn this image into her mind, keep it there forever: Laudna’s mouth wrapped around her, eyes fluttering, her face soft and beautiful. 

Her hips instinctively move forward, sliding in further. To Laudna’s credit, she takes it eagerly, working her mouth up and down at a deliciously slow pace, tongue swirling with each pass. Imogen's eyes are fixed on Laudna's face, admiring the way her lips stretch and the way her cheeks hollow as she sucks. She can feel the pressure building in her groin, the heat spreading through her body, and she moves her hand from her length to tangle her fingers in Laudna’s hair, urging her on but still being careful not to push. She knows she doesn’t have to be so gentle with Laudna, but she can’t help it. 

Laudna moans at the feeling of nails scraping across her scalp, and Imogen’s hips press further towards her instinctively. And it’s one thing to have Laudna on her knees for her, but another to feel the little noises in the back of her throat, making Imogen ache fiercely, the vibrations sending perpetual shivers throughout her entire body.

Imogen doesn't know what possesses her to press herself deeper into Laudna's mouth—some sort of animalistic urge to give herself entirely to her—but she pulls back when she feels resistance.

She’s breathing heavily, her eyes locking with Laudna’s, and she tries to ignore the small string of saliva that tethers Laudna’s lips to her, before it falls with the force of gravity to the dark wood underneath them. Her cock twitches, a little bounce in anticipation, as Laudna looks up at her, obviously confused as to why she has stopped.

“Sorry,” Imogen can only rasp, stroking soothing fingers through Laudna’s hair. “Sorry. Are you okay?”

Laudna nods though, and there’s a look of desperation in her eyes as she looks up at her.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No,” Imogen shakes her head immediately, and only then does she notice that at some point Laudna must have slipped her own fingers into her underwear, because she lifts her hand up and it’s black and dripping, and Imogen is quickly bucking her hips, moaning softly as Laudna spreads it over her cock, before she leans forward to wrap her lips around her again. 

She’s a little slower this time, though there’s still that same eagerness to please as she carefully slides her lips down further, coating Imogen with evidence of her arousal, tasting herself, and “fuck, Laudna,” Imogen’s eyes flutter but remain open, keeping her gaze locked on Laudna in case she needs to pull back, even though she can see that she looks determined to keep going. 

And she keeps going, taking Imogen deeper into her throat with each movement, until Imogen feels herself press against the back of Laudna’s throat again. It’s a delicious pressure that makes her gasp at the same moment Laudna gags, but Laudna doesn't pull away. Imogen can feel the tightness of her throat around her head, the way she’s trying to relax the muscles there. The sensation, along with the vision of Laudna taking all of her, is enough to bring her rapidly to the edge.

“Laudna.” Desperately, her hips buck forward. “Can you take it?”

Laudna’s voice immediately enters her mind over their shared connection.

Do you trust me? She asks, and it’s such a funny thing to say, Imogen thinks, while she’s literally deepthroating her, while Imogen is practically fucking her mouth, but the low, ghostly whispers immediately follow, repeating the question over and over until Imogen is nodding instinctively.

“Yes, yes, always.”

She watches Laudna’s dark eyes reflect the candlelight, glowing and animalistic, before they darken again. Shadowy energy seems to coalesce around them both, and Imogen watches Laudna move closer, taking her in as far as she can. The shadows dance beautifully for them as Laudna’s jaw clicks out of place, unhinging, and, “oh my fuck,” she groans, her fist tightening in Laudna’s hair. 

Her breath hitches at the sight, overwhelmed at the tightness and the pressure of being so deep in Laudna’s throat, and her mouth falls open with a strained, pleading groan.

Laudna’s name falls from her lips in a breathy exhale as Laudna pulls her in deeper. She slides all the way down to the back of her throat, until she’s buried to the hilt with Laudna’s nose pressing against the bridge of her public bone. Laudna. Fuck, Laudna, are you okay?

Somehow, Laudna’s mental response is breathless, desperate.

Does it feel good?

And Imogen laughs, a loud and pretty thing, her hands scraping through Laudna’s hair.

“Yeah,” she moans out loud, emboldened by the pleasure. “Yeah, it feels amazin’. You’re… You feel so good.”

And fuck, she’s so gorgeous like this, Imogen thinks, so pretty taking Imogen so deep, eyes filled with black tears, the shadows embracing them both as her dread lingers at her shoulders, ready to consume them both.

She’s been close ever since Laudna had slipped her hand into her shorts, but now she feels herself quickly hurtling towards the peak. It’s overwhelming in the best way, and Imogen finds herself tightening her hold on Laudna’s hair as she slowly starts to move, losing herself in the pleasure. Her grip on her hair tightens as she pushes herself deeper, until the back of Laudna’s head hits the door behind her, but Laudna doesn’t falter. The tension builds quickly, the pressure growing as Laudna’s throat tightens around her, building and pressing and thrusting and building and building and—

“Laudna, s— shit, I think I’m—”

She doesn’t even get the chance to finish her sentence before her eyes are screwing shut, abs tensing as pressure pounds along her length and she’s crying out as she comes. Her body convulses as she spills into Laudna’s throat, shuddering when she feels and hears Laudna moan with each pulse. She has to lock her muscles to stop herself from collapsing atop of her as she holds herself up against the door with one hand, the other holding Laudna’s face against her.

When she looks down, Laudna is already gazing up at her with hooded eyes, lids fluttering with awe and affection as she swallows every drop, and Imogen almost fools herself into believing that there’s love there too.

Laudna pulls back slowly when she’s done, letting Imogen slide out of her mouth with a wet pop. Imogen's hips buck forward involuntarily at the loss of warmth, her fingers tightening in Laudna's hair before releasing her grip. She watches Laudna wipe her mouth with the back of her hand, her eyes dark and intense.

Laudna holds her hand up, and Imogen takes it in hers instantly, helping her up to her feet.

“Are you okay?” Imogen asks, her voice hoarse and shaky. Her heart feels like it’s beating out of her chest and she feels like she’s floating, knees still a little weak, but the urge to collapse is outweighed by the need to make sure Laudna is alright.

“You do make the prettiest sounds, darling.”

She immediately laughs, letting herself be swept up in a hug. Her head immediately nuzzles in the crook of Laudna’s neck, as usual, and she smiles when she feels Laudna press a kiss to the top of her head. Then, a kiss is pressed to her temple, then her cheek, then her nose, and Laudna’s hands are on her face and guiding her head up so she can capture her lips in a sweet, tender kiss. Imogen welcomes it immediately, drinks her in, deepens it and tilts her head when she feels Laudna’s tongue brush against her own.

Her hands tremble as they come up to grip Laudna’s waist, tongue pushing past her lips as she pulls her closer. She whines at the moan that escapes Laudna’s mouth, dizzy on everything Laudna, unable to focus on much else. She runs a hand over Laudna's back, tracing the curve of her spine with her fingertips, smiling into the kiss when she feels Laudna’s body respond with a shudder.

As they break apart, Imogen’s chest heaves with heavy breaths, and she rests her forehead against Laudna’s, eyes closed as she tries to ground herself for a moment, feeling overwhelmed by her love. It’s a feeling that she’s become too familiar with, but it never loses its intensity, no matter how many times they do this.

She wonders if Laudna feels it too. The way she presses her body against Imogen’s, nails scraping lightly down her back, leaving red lines in their wake as she whimpers impatiently makes Imogen think that maybe, just maybe, she does. And oh, how she wants to tell her, but Laudna is pushing her down and how could she ever deny Laudna what she so desperately wants?

She kisses her way down Laudna’s stomach, stopping to lick at the black stripe of wetness she had left there, before she’s lowering herself to her knees. She meets Laudna’s gaze, immediately feels herself get lost in the depth of her dark eyes, shining with something that has Imogen swallowing thickly, and she finds she’d do anything to stay right here, to give Laudna everything.

Laudna rasps her name and electricity thrums dangerously in her fingertips as she brings them to Laudna’s underwear, pulling them down and helping her out of them, discarding them to the side.

Her breath catches in her throat at the mess between Laudna’s legs, black ichor smeared on her inner thighs from where she has been waiting impatiently for Imogen to touch her again. A surge of pride runs through her at the thought of Laudna being turned on for her. She almost feels bad for making her wait, but she pushes that feeling away, knowing that Laudna wouldn’t want her to.

She leans in, pressing a soft kiss to her navel before kissing her way down to the coarse, dark hairs on her mound. She nuzzles them as she brings her hands up to slide up Laudna’s thighs, short nails raking up and down them before sliding around to cup her behind, lifting one of her legs to rest over her shoulder. Laudna’s hand runs through her hair, bunching it up and moving it out of the way for her, and Imogen smiles, locking eyes with Laudna so she can see her reaction when she finally tastes her. And maybe this is one of her favorite Laudna’s; looking down at her with so much care in her eyes, wordlessly begging for something that surely, she knows Imogen will give her in a heartbeat.

Her reaction is immediate, her breath hitching and her grip on Imogen’s hair tightening as Imogen slowly licks through her wet folds. It makes Imogen moan immediately in response, the sound vibrating out of her, and Laudna whimpers, pushing her hips forward for more.

Imogen’s tongue flicks out once, twice, against her clit, and despite already knowing from their mental connection how desperate Laudna had been for this, it still surprises her at how sensitive she is already. Laudna’s clit twitches against her tongue, and Imogen pushes her mouth in further to wrap her lips fully around the sensitive nub, feeling her essence trailing down her chin and neck.

Laudna’s thighs shake a little at the stimulation, as her fingers comb gently through Imogen’s hair, urging her not to stop.

“Oh… Imogen.” 

And Imogen loves hearing her name come from Laudna’s mouth like this. It’s spoken with such tenderness, such reverence. Nobody has ever said her name the way Laudna says it, and she thinks, selfishly, nobody ever will, because she belongs to Laudna. Her eyes close blissfully as Laudna’s hips roll against her mouth, wordlessly begging for more. Scarred fingers dig into the soft flesh of Laudna’s ass as she attempts to pull her closer. Her eyes are hazy as she looks down at Imogen, blackened over still.

“That feels so nice,” Laudna whispers, and the praise urges Imogen on. 

She nuzzles into her, reveling in the pretty sounds Laudna is making for her and groaning at the tight grip she keeps on her hair. She flattens her tongue against Laudna, circles her clit slowly before starting to suck on it gently. Laudna rocks into her, a silent plea for more, and Imogen is all too happy to oblige, to give her everything.

“Yes,” she sighs, hips grinding forward for more, “just like that.” The breathless way she says it sears through Imogen, sending a jolt through her veins that eventually pools in the pit of her stomach. “Imogen,” she gasps, her voice coming out as a whine. “Don’t stop.”

Laudna’s face scrunches up before she throws her head back with a thud against the door, and Imogen sucks, licks, loves Laudna until she’s panting breathlessly, a stream of “fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck,” coming from her in a soft chant. She looks so beautiful from this angle, her back arching and her head thrown back, and Imogen’s lungs burn with the need to breathe but she doesn’t falter, doesn’t want to stop pulling these precious sounds from Laudna, doesn’t want to stop for anything.

Her fingers dig into the fragile skin of Laudna’s thighs as her other hand rubs flat against her abdomen, running up like it’s searching for something. Laudna’s hand drops to rest over it, and Imogen turns her hand in hers, letting Laudna intertwine them, and—“don’t stop Imogen, please don’t stop”—and it’s perfect, the way Laudna reacts to her, it’s too perfect, she’s perfect. Imogen doesn’t know what she’s done to deserve this—maybe she doesn’t deserve it—but she drinks it in eagerly anyway. She can feel Laudna’s body straining, tightening her hold on Imogen’s hand as she reaches the peak of her pleasure and then she’s shuddering against her, her walls pulsating around Imogen’s tongue as she laps from her, sucking her clit hard again, and—

“Imogen! Imogen.”

Laudna’s cry echoes throughout the small room, her body tensing, almost folding in on itself as she holds Imogen’s face hard against her cunt and she’s coming hard, coming for Imogen, coming for me, she thinks, and her limbs lock up and her mouth opens with a silent cry. She pulses, dripping into Imogen’s eager mouth and she’s so beautiful when she comes. It’s the most glorious thing Imogen has ever seen, and it’s all for her. It’s Imogen’s mouth that is pulling these noises from her, Imogen’s name that falls from her lips as she flutters around her tongue, Imogen’s head that she grinds herself against, Imogen’s hand she’s holding tightly, and Imogen’s mind she floods all of her emotions into as she rides out her orgasm.

Imogen continues to guide her through it, drawing out the pleasure as long as she can until Laudna finally collapses back against the door, her breathing heavy and ragged, and this is it, Imogen thinks. This is the moment she wants captured for eternity, the vision of Laudna, beautiful and panting and naked and spent, breathless from her orgasm with Imogen equally as breathless between her legs. She wants it displayed next to her racing heart, etched into her bones, seared into her eyelids so she can see it every time she goes to sleep.

She presses one last soft kiss to Laudna’s center, smiling when she twitches at the feeling, before she kisses her way back up her stomach, leaving a trail of ichor behind once again.

Laudna’s eyes are closed, a blissful smile on her face, breasts rising and falling as she tries to catch her breath, and Imogen’s heart swells beyond the confines of her chest. She wonders if Laudna feels this way too: terrified that her heart could break with all the love and care she feels in moments like these.

When Laudna opens her eyes, she breathes out a soft laugh, cupping Imogen’s face in her hands.

“Oh… my…” she pants. “You look like such a sight,” she breathes out softly, her voice hoarse, and Imogen smiles. She can only imagine the state she’s in, mouth and neck glistening black with Laudna’s wetness. She almost wants to run to a mirror to look, the thought of being painted by Laudna’s arousal causing a strong surge of possessiveness to well up inside of her.

Laudna runs her fingers over her jaw, and Imogen leans in and captures Laudna’s lips with her own, letting her taste herself on her tongue. She deepens the kiss, pouring all of her love and devotion into it, and Laudna kisses back eagerly before she breaks it to run her soft lips down to Imogen’s chin to suck herself off of her skin.

It causes Imogen to harden slightly, a quiet moan slipping from her mouth before Laudna captures her lips again. She melts into it, letting Laudna finally remove her dress from her shoulders, slipping it down her arms and letting it fall to the floor. Her bra follows soon after, and Imogen watches with rapt attention as Laudna’s eyes drink her in, like she’s committing her to memory.

She still feels shy under Laudna’s gaze, despite everything, but she resists the urge to cover herself up.

“Laudna.”

“Sorry.” Laudna blinks, pulled out of her reverie, and Imogen’s breath hitches as her nails tickle up her sides and over her breasts, until a cold palm is pressed flat against her chest, splaying her hand out against her sternum. Her fingers flex, claws digging into her skin but she’s still so incredibly soft with her actions. “You’re just so pretty," Laudna murmurs, and Imogen feels a rush of heat flood through her body. “My beautiful girl.”

Imogen breathes a sigh out of her nose, her immediate instinct being to deny it, but before she can say anything, Laudna’s thumb stretches out to stroke across the scars in the shape of jagged claw marks that the shade creepers had left on her chest, back when Dugger and some animated furniture was the worst of their problems. 

She looks at Laudna, searching her eyes, and there’s something there, something she can’t quite place. Her heart thuds to a standstill as Laudna traces a sharp nail ever-so-gently over the rough skin. 

“We match now,” Laudna whispers.

A forceful pang reverberates inside of Imogen at Laudna’s words. The realization that they’re sharing the most intimate parts of not only their bodies, but their whole beings with each other. Their scars and their touches and the soft, muted sounds that nobody else has ever had the pleasure of hearing. For Imogen, it’s a privilege of which she doesn’t take lightly.

She takes Laudna’s hand in hers, pulling it away from her chest and holding it against her mouth, pressing a soft kiss to the back of it. Tears well up in her eyes, though she doesn’t quite know why. She has no answer when Laudna asks her what’s wrong because nothing is wrong, nothing at all. Not when Laudna is holding her like this, looking at her like this. 

It’s nothing and it’s absolutely everything and she breathes softly, pressing another kiss to Laudna’s hand before she hugs her, buries her head in her neck to distract herself from the excruciating weight pressing against her chest, then presses a kiss against the hollow of her throat just because she wants to, just because she loves her. Gods, she loves her. She loves her, she loves her so much it feels like every beat of her heart could be the last, feels like she could burst with all the love she feels for her. She’s beautiful and she’s kind and the world doesn’t deserve her— Imogen doesn’t deserve her—and it’s so hard not being able to say it; not being able to force herself to say it, because she’s a coward, and she’s terrified, and Laudna is everything, and Imogen— I love you —and even Imogen’s own brain is tricking her, making her think Laudna loves her back, but she can’t, it’s impossible, Laudna can’t love someone like her, because Imogen is nothing and Laudna is everything and— Darling?

Laudna’s hands come up to gently cradle her face, pulling her head away from her neck so she can look at her, and Imogen’s heart pounds so hard in her chest that she briefly wonders if she’s dying. 

It’s the gentle way in which Laudna’s thumb comes up to delicately wipe under her eye, swiping a tear away that she hadn’t even noticed had fallen, and the way she’s looking down at her with a look of pure adoration—as if Imogen is responsible for everything good in the world—that has all the air escaping from her lungs. The hands on her face feel like an anchor, so careful and grounding even as her thoughts betray her.

Imogen takes a deep breath, her hands coming up to rest on Laudna’s shoulders. She looks up at her, trying to convey everything she’s feeling without words, though she’s not sure she can. She’s not sure she’ll ever find a way to express just how precious Laudna is to her. The love she has for Laudna, the fear of losing her again, the uncertainty of what the future holds; she’s so used to pushing these feelings down, it’s suddenly overwhelming, the speed at which her emotions all seem to be hitting her all at once.

“Imogen,” Laudna whispers, drawing Imogen’s chin back up between her fingers so they’re looking at each other. “Did you hear me?”

“Are you—did you really…” she breathes, and she doesn’t get the chance to say anything else—though she wants to so, so badly, she wants to say it back a million and one times, over and over and over until she loses her voice—before Laudna is tilting her head and pulling her in and kissing her greedily. It’s a wet and messy kiss. Their teeth clack and they’re still a little breathless and it’s perfect, and all Imogen can do is put her all into it, now that the dam suppressing those feelings has finally opened.

It’s a little hard to focus on kissing when she’s crying, when they’re both crying, and when Laudna’s hands feel so incredibly loving on her face as she lets out a soft sound that breaks Imogen’s heart. Her eyes squeeze shut and her eyebrows furrow, nails digging into Laudna’s shoulder blades. It pulls a sharp breath from her and Imogen relaxes her hands immediately, stroking over the indentations her nails had left on her soft skin before she’s pulling back and looking up at her.

“I love you,” she breathes out, immediately followed by a choked sob, and the words make her heart tighten painfully in her chest because they feel so inadequate in the face of everything she feels for Laudna. They’re not enough to convey the pure devotion she feels for her, but they’re all she has. 

A surge of pride shoots through her at the realization that she’s managed to say it out loud, and it’s silly, but it only makes her cry harder. It’s so rare she feels proud of herself but she is, and she knows Laudna would be too if she knew just how long—just how desperately—she’s wanted this. She feels like she can breathe again. She honestly hadn’t realized just how much she was struggling to, until the weight of what she’s feeling is suddenly lifted from her shoulders. 

“I love you t—”

“—No, Laudna,” Imogen interrupts, shaking her head, focusing on keeping herself upright so as to not let the weight of her emotions crush them both. “I don’t mean it like that. I love you.” She repeats, and the single second—because it can’t possibly be any longer—that follows feels like an eternity.

Laudna blinks. Adorable and confused.

“I’m sorry,” Laudna says nervously, and it sounds a bit like she’s trying not to laugh. “Forgive me, I… I don’t understand.”

“I love you.”

“And I love you. You know I do. What are you trying to tell me?”

“I know.” Imogen exhales heavily, her heart racing, “I know you love me, of course I do, but… it’s… Laudna, you love everything—every one. You love our friends and you love all the scary things that I hate, and you love Pâté and Sashimi, and everyone, and…” Her breath hitches. “And I just love you. Only you.”

Laudna is quiet for a moment as she rubs Imogen’s back, fingers lightly scratching over her spine. Imogen’s heart races, her bottom lip quivering as she tries to blink away her tears. And there are so many more things she wants to say, but like always, her throat constricts and doesn’t allow it.

Her gaze falters the longer they stand there in silence, until she’s looking away, closing her eyes, shaking her head because oh, she’s so foolish, she’s so… how silly she had been to think Laudna felt the same.

She attempts to pull back, but Laudna’s hold on her keeps her there.

“Look at me,” Laudna rasps, and even now, Imogen can’t deny Laudna what she wants. “Imogen. My Imogen,” Laudna smiles as she strokes her face, searching her eyes. “Do you really think I have room for anyone else in my heart but you?” She asks, her voice warbling in the middle but still managing to keep herself together. 

Imogen’s heart clenches tight in her chest, bottom lip quivering as she exhales. She’s been through so many different scenarios in her head of the moment she tells Laudna she loves her— really loves her—but none of them could have prepared her for this, for Laudna actually loving her back.

“Darling, the others, they’re important to me, of course, but you…” She trails off, cupping Imogen’s face in her hands and looking deep into her eyes. “You’re everything to me, Imogen, don’t you know that? I thought you did. I thought… Oh, Imogen, I thought you knew. My heart is yours.”

A sob tears from Imogen’s throat, her eyes squeezing shut again. She feels Laudna press a kiss to her forehead and it’s cliché but she doesn’t know who kisses who first, after that. All she knows is that Laudna is kissing her and loving her— she loves her —and they’re both crying but it’s perfect. It’s like every moment over the past two years has boiled down to this; every soft kiss pressed to the hollow of a throat in their small, tucked away camp; every delicate touch against cold skin in the dead of night; every look, every laugh, everything, it’s everything, and it’s secret and it’s sacred and it’s theirs.

Her throat tightens with each insistent press of Laudna’s tongue against hers, and she pulls her closer, kisses her deeper, feels the need coursing through her body, needing to be as close as possible in case this gets ripped away from her again, because she had lost her, she watched her die, she spent days begging her to come back but it was no use because she was dead, and—

Laudna pulls back, holding her face in her hands. Their eyes meet in the dim light and they breathe each other in and there’s something unreadable in Laudna’s expression, before she’s pulling Imogen closer and kissing her again. It’s harder and it’s urgent and her hands drop to Imogen’s sides, nails scraping gently over warm, flushed skin, and Imogen moans softly, wrapping her arms around Laudna’s shoulders as she stands up on her tiptoes, rocking herself into her, silently begging for more.

Laudna trails kisses down Imogen's neck, and she immediately tilts her head back, letting out a low, teary whimper as Laudna's lips find her collarbone. Her hands slide down Laudna's back as she arches into her, shuddering when her length rubs across Laudna’s thigh.

“Laud,” she rasps, pulling her closer. She feels Laudna sigh against her collarbone before she pulls back, and can barely hear anything over her own ragged breaths and the frantic drumming of her heartbeat. “Can we… bed?” She breathes out, her voice husky, unable to get the full sentence out, but Laudna is nodding immediately, kissing her, letting Imogen guide them towards the bed.

The bed creaks as Imogen lowers Laudna onto the sheets, pressing her against the pillow and hovering over her. She rests one hand on Laudna’s ribcage as she holds herself up with the other, thumb stroking over cold skin, feeling her breathe softly under her hand, knowing that that’s her version of panting heavily.

She pauses for a moment to take it all in, to admire the way Laudna's body is laid bare before her— for her—fully exposed and vulnerable. She’s looking up at Imogen with such kind eyes and the prettiest of smiles on her face. It pulls Imogen’s breath from her; how gorgeous Laudna is, the love and trust in her eyes, the realization that Laudna has so willingly handed her precious heart over to Imogen’s imperfect one. 

“I love you,” Imogen says, just because she can now, and it feels amazing—it feels fucking liberating—to tell Laudna what she’s wanted to tell her for so, so long, and Laudna’s smile is enchanting as she leans up to capture her lips. 

“I love you too,” she whispers into her mouth, and Imogen is still waiting for the catch, still waiting for the ‘but’, still waiting for Laudna to follow it up with something bad. Despite how much her heart and her body trust Laudna, it’s her brain that loves to betray her, loves to fill her mind with doubt and insecurity, tries to convince her that none of this is real, that nobody could love her the same way she loves them, especially not Laudna. 

“Imogen.”

Laudna’s voice breaks her from her trance, and Imogen pulls away from the kiss to look down at her, swallowing thickly when their eyes lock. She reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind Laudna’s ear before softly trailing her fingers over the metal cuffs. Laudna nods before Imogen can even ask if she can take them off, and her fingers tremble as she removes them for her, taking care not to pull Laudna’s hair where there are strands wrapped around them, before she carefully places them on the table next to the bed.

She runs her fingertips down the side of Laudna’s face, her gaze following her hand’s movements as she touches Laudna so tenderly that it’s hard to ignore the pulsing surge of desire she feels over their shared connection from Laudna. She touches her slowly, assuredly, as if she could vanish from underneath her if she’s not careful.

Then she leans down to press a kiss to Laudna’s ear, heart fluttering when Laudna turns her head to the side and lets her, without hesitation. She kisses over healed skin as her hand rests on Laudna’s collarbone, the pads of her fingers pressing just slightly, not wanting to take her hands off of her for but a moment. Her lips seek out her earlobe, running her tongue against it, licking a line from the lobe up to the jagged shell of her ear.

“I’ve loved you for so long, Laudna,” she says, the words coming out in a breathy exhale against Laudna’s ear as Laudna’s sharp claws dance up her spine, tracing along soft skin. She moves lower, kissing her pulse point, before nuzzling into the crook of her neck. With each touch, she can feel herself mending from where she’d fallen apart at the seams over the past week, like Laudna’s light touches alone are enough to heal the grief in her broken heart. She clings to the feeling of it, of being so safe here with Laudna, of loving her so fiercely and being loved in return.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

She pulls back, hovering over Laudna, holding herself up as she looks down at her.

Bassuras. Otohan. Screams and blood and blades and the lightning storm surrounding them. Trying to run, only to be called back by her friends’ anguished pleas. Reaching for Laudna but hearing nothing in response. Anger and grief and pain and death and Laudna and Laudna and is she your favorite?

“Imogen.”

“I was so scared.”

“Of what?”

“I don’t know.” She knows. Of course she knows. “I… I didn’t want to lose my best friend.”

Laudna sighs with a shake of her head, hands coming up to cup Imogen’s face, but she’s smiling softly. It relaxes Imogen, alleviating the fear and apprehension and heartache. “You could never lose me, Imogen. Ever.”

“I did,” she whispers, and Laudna shakes her head.

“You didn’t lose me. I’m right here.” Her hand slides down to rest over Imogen’s heart. “And I’ll always be here.”

“I just… I can’t help but think—” She cuts herself off as her lip quivers and that familiar, tingling sensation presses against her nose and eyes, threatening to swell up with tears. It stops her from being able to talk, her body reverting to trying to protect her emotions from spilling out, like it always does.

Laudna’s hands are gentle as they touch her face, the pads of her thumbs stroking over her cheeks. Her eyes flutter shut at the contact, head tilting into Laudna’s hand to press a soft kiss to her palm.

Imogen bites her lip, hesitating for a moment before confessing softly, “I’m so afraid, Laudna.”

“Of what, my love?”

“Of… this,” Imogen gestures between them. “All of it. Of what it means.”

“What do you think it means?”

“I don’t know,” Imogen admits. “It’s everything to me. You’re everything. But what if it…” She stops herself. “I love you so much, Laudna, it terrifies me. And I don’t know what to do with it.”

“Imogen.” Laudna smiles, Imogen’s name falling from her lips so softly and quietly, like it’s barely there. “You don’t have to do anything with it. Just feel it.”

Imogen blinks. Feels a flutter in her chest; anticipation mixed with fear.

Laudna leans up, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “Just feel it,” she says against her mouth, and it’s mumbled quietly but Imogen hears it loud and clear, like a siren calling out to her. She runs a hand through Laudna’s hair and looks down at her and lets the tears fall and she does, she feels it, she lets it wash over her and consume her and—“I love you, Imogen. Do you believe me?” She asks, not waiting for Imogen to answer before she continues, voice thick with tears, “I love you more than anything in this dreadful world. In this life and the next.”

Imogen doesn’t trust herself to speak, but she fights through it, nodding and whispering with reverence “of course I believe you, sweetheart.”

“Is it enough?”

And she’s crying, nodding, frantic and heartbroken at the thought of Laudna ever thinking her love isn’t enough, and she’s whimpering, “yes, yes, Laudna, it’s enough.”

“Good. Good.”

Imogen's fingertips trail slowly down Laudna's neck, tracing the delicate curve of her throat with a featherlight touch. They linger at her pronounced collarbones, marveling at the softness of Laudna's skin before continuing their journey down the gentle slope of her chest. They touch the scar lightly, tracing over the raised edges, before moving to cup Laudna’s breast, full and soft and perfect in her hands.

Laudna’s eyes flutter closed at the feeling, and Imogen watches through her tears, the way she swallows thickly. She traces the pad of her finger over a hard nipple, taking it gently between her fingers before squeezing slightly, sighing wistfully when it pulls a soft moan from deep in Laudna’s throat.

“I love you, Laudna.”

Laudna is smiling even before her eyes open to look at Imogen, her hands coming up to tangle in Imogen’s hair as she pulls her closer and she kisses her deeply, wraps her arms around her and pulls her as close as they can possibly get.

She can’t help but rock up against Laudna, and she moans when she feels herself rub against the inside of her thigh before settling between her legs. She pushes her hips forward again, sliding through Laudna’s wetness, and Laudna’s lips part in a soft gasp at the feeling, the friction sending a shiver through her that makes Imogen’s stomach tighten with want.

“Imogen,” she breathes into her mouth, her hands sliding down to grip Imogen’s hips, guiding her movements as she continues to rub against her. “Please.”

And Imogen doesn’t want to break the kiss but she’s becoming breathless, can barely breathe through the sheer desperation, and Laudna’s reactions aren’t helping either. She’s moaning softly, rolling herself up against Imogen and she’d be a monster to deny Laudna what she so desperately wants. She breaks the kiss, giving her hips a testing push, and she almost collapses completely on top of Laudna as the sensitive underside of her dick rubs through Laudna’s slickness, pressing against her swollen clit. Her eyes meet Laudna’s, and when Laudna looks at her like that, rasping out a soft “darling, I need you,” Imogen is pretty sure she’d do anything for her.

She pulls back, sitting up on her knees as she looks down at her. She reaches down to slide her fingers over Laudna’s center, gathering her slick on her fingers before she spreads it over the sensitive head. A pathetic whimper threatens to escape at the sight of Laudna’s arousal coating her like this, but she swallows it back, looking at Laudna to see that she’s watching her intently.

She looks back down between them, her own arousal building, pulsing in time with the pounding of her heart, and she shifts, positioning herself more comfortably between Laudna’s legs and aligns the head with Laudna’s slick entrance.

“Is this okay?” Imogen shifts forward and she watches Laudna’s mouth part with a heavenly moan as she presses deliciously against her clit before she spreads her open. 

“Imogen,” Laudna rasps, like it’s the only thing she can say now. “Imogen.”

“I’m here.”

“I want…” she moans and shifts, her hands coming down to hold onto Imogen’s thighs, nails pressing against her; soft, not drawing blood, but enough to leave red welts in their wake; enough to cause Imogen’s breath to hitch.

“Anything, Laudna. I’ll give you anything.” 

Laudna whines. She wants to ask again, ask if Laudna is okay, and she’s about to, but Laudna moans out a soft, desperate “fuck me, please,” that immediately has Imogen’s heart hammering in her chest.

With a slow, gentle push, she presses into her, groaning at the tightness that instantly surrounds the tip. Laudna moans a little louder, one hand coming down hard against the bed to grip the sheets. Her other hand stays on Imogen’s thigh, holding tight enough for Imogen to feel a slight sting.

She slowly presses forward, inch by inch, until she’s fully inside Laudna, slowly grinding her hips forward as she looks down at her. She watches the way her mouth parts as soft whimpers escape past her lips, and her eyes close for a moment before she opens them again to look at Imogen, and fuck, she feels incredible, wrapped so perfectly around her, fluttering and warm and tight but not too much.

“Yes,” Laudna moans, “just like that,” and Imogen falters for a moment at the intensity of it, of the eye contact, of having Laudna watching her, of knowing that Laudna’s pleasure is in her hands.

And Imogen absolutely adores her like this; thinks that there’s nothing in the world as beautiful as Laudna, whimpering and moaning and begging, saying things that she’d never say to anybody else. The curve of her jaw, the slope of her neck as she angles it slightly when the curve of Imogen’s cock presses at the perfect angle, the way her chest rises and falls with each quick breath. Everything about Laudna is breathtaking, and Imogen lets out a soft whimper of her own as she leans down and kisses her.

She rolls her hips slowly, and the angle is burning her thighs but it’s worth it to hear Laudna moaning for her. Laudna closes her eyes and tilts her head back with a breathy moan, and Imogen uses this as an opportunity to bury her head into her neck. 

"Oh fuck, Imogen," Laudna gasps, her voice straining. "So good. So—so big."

She sucks gently at the skin there, nipping and soothing it with soft, tender kisses. She’s sure there’ll be other times where she can bite harder, where she can mark Laudna, where they can be a little more rough, but right now she wants to love Laudna softly.

Laudna’s legs come up to wrap around Imogen’s hips, heels digging into her back as she pulls her closer and deeper. She moans out a soft “fuck” that has Imogen’s stomach fluttering, and she pulls away from her neck to watch her. Her hand slides up to cup Laudna’s face as she rolls her hips, keeping at a steady rhythm as Laudna’s hitched breaths and desperate moans echo around the room.

She runs her thumb over Laudna’s chin, caressing her like she’s the only good thing in this world—Imogen’s pretty sure she is, pretty sure nothing can compare to her. From the way her moans come out of her smiling mouth as soft, breathy exhales, to the way she arches her back as her hips struggle to stay still on the bed, Imogen’s certain that Laudna is the most beautiful thing in the universe. She wishes she could put all of her jumbled thoughts into words but they get lodged in her throat, and all that comes out is a breathy whimper, a soft murmured, “Laudna,” breathed out into the space between them. She looks at Laudna’s face again, watching the way her hooded eyes struggle to stay open, watches her neck strain and her lip get caught between her sharp teeth. 

"Fuck," Laudna moans. She blinks open her tired eyes, looking up at Imogen's awestruck face. “Can you go harder?"

Her gaze is intense, eyes blacked over, flashing with something that causes Imogen to moan a little louder, her breathing coming out shallow and ragged as she thinks about how Laudna had taken her so deep before. How she had dipped into her dread form for a moment to take as much of Imogen as she could, until Imogen was emptying herself into her throat. She collapses forward, squeezing her eyes shut, fucking into Laudna, feverish and reckless but it feels too good to stop.

“Imogen,” Laudna moans into her shoulder, breathing in time with the short, needy snaps of Imogen's hips. She turns her head to press her lips against Imogen’s neck, mumbling a soft “I love you,” and it’s so quiet but so raw and tender, and Imogen’s pace quickens, thrusting deeper.

Laudna convulses around her with a sharp gasp and incoherent whimpers fill her mind as her arms wrap tightly around her, keeping her there. She feels Laudna’s soft skin ripple underneath her, twisting and contorting until it’s hard and rough and—“oh fuck,” she breathes out at the realization that Laudna is transforming into her form of dread, and they’ve done this before but not with this new form, and Imogen can’t help but pull back, hoping to catch even the slightest of glimpses as the dread consumes her.

Branches sprout from her shoulder and back, and Imogen’s so sure she hears the mattress underneath them rip with the force of it, and she pulls back, sitting on her haunches, using all of her strength on Laudna’s hips to hold her up as she grinds into her. Laudna holds herself up with one long, stretched arm behind her back, as her other arm stays wrapped around the back of Imogen’s neck, holding her there. 

Even in this form that would be terrifying to anybody else, Imogen can see the lust and desire burning in her eyes. Golden leaves sprout from the branches, a stark contrast against the rough bark, and Imogen watches, amazed, as they rustle and shift colors, a kaleidoscope of vibrant hues that dance in time with their movements. Purple and blue and yellow and red peonies spring to life as twisted branches wrap around Imogen’s back, pulling her closer, guiding her deeper, consuming her.

Laudna's eyes flutter open and she gazes up at Imogen, a mixture of desire and fear and love and trust. "Please," she whispers, her voice husky, pulling her closer. "Keep going. I won't hurt you."

"Fuck," Imogen whispers, her breath coming in short, sharp gasps. "I know,” she breathes, and Laudna's branches wrap around her in a tight hug, holding her as they move together.

Laudna’s body writhes and trembles beneath Imogen, the vines and branches of her dread form intertwining between them, wrapping around Imogen’s arms and her hands as they move together, almost as one being. It’s overwhelming and it’s beautiful, the thrill of being so intimately connected to Laudna in this way. She can feel Laudna’s emotions, her desires and her fears and her everything, all melding with her own in her mind until it’s the best type of loud, cacophonous noise that has the scars on her arms vibrating and her eyes glowing white with power.

Imogen’s grip tightens on Laudna’s hips, fingers digging into rough skin as she thrusts up, skin slapping together with each thrust, and it’s obscene and intense but it’s them and it’s Laudna and it’s beautiful, she’s beautiful, and she’s hers.

“Laudna. Laudna,” she whimpers, her voice pleading, unable to say anything else, and Laudna responds with her own equally desperate moans, before she’s pushing against Imogen and making her fall back against the sheets. 

She lets Laudna press a hand against her chest, pushing her to lie down on the bed as she starts to slowly move against her. She watches her, back arched, branches swaying with each roll of her hips, the scent of earth and flowers and wet leaves permeating the air, as the hand not pushing against Imogen runs up her own stomach to squeeze her own breast. Sharp nails scrape against Imogen’s ribcage, her hand larger than usual, and it forms a claw against her chest, and Imogen winces. She lets Laudna keep going, lets her grind against her, coating her with her ichor as she moves herself back and forth over her, sounds falling from her lips that leave Imogen wonderstruck.

Her hands grip Laudna’s hips tightly, and she wonders briefly if she’s going to leave bruises even through the rough bark, but Laudna is taking Imogen, burying to the hilt in one swift motion, and Imogen’s hips buck up as she runs her hands up the rough bark of Laudna’s stomach. 

Imogen watches, mesmerized by the sight of Laudna, removing a hand from her rough skin to run a hand through her own tousled hair, breathing out soft whimpers, before it falls back to flatten against her stomach. Imogen stretches her thumb down to rub against Laudna’s clit, and her moan is the sweetest sound Imogen has ever heard, even with all the deep, guttural, terrifying whispers that echo after she speaks, and through it all, there is a tenderness in Laudna's touch that belies the monstrous form she’s taken on.

Imogen knows Laudna is already close. She can see it in the way Laudna’s eyes are shut tight and her mouth hangs open, in the way her hips stutter and her walls pulse around her. Her own body responds in kind, heat coiling low in her belly, building with each passing moment.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” she moans, sliding her fingers up to Laudna’s shoulders, wrapping her hand around a branch and tugging.

Laudna collapses forward, moving her hips with a renewed vigor, riding Imogen hard and fast, and Imogen lifts her hips up to thrust in time with Laudna’s movements, some primal part of her wanting to make sure Laudna experiences at least a fraction of the intensity that has hijacked her own body.

“So good,” Laudna manages to get out in between her choked gasps and desperate moans, her body shaking as she grinds down hard against Imogen. “You’re gonna make me come.”

“Laudna.” Imogen’s voice is a breathy whisper, filled with need and desire. She feels Laudna’s walls clamp down around her, squeezing tight as she cries out.

“Imogen,” Laudna gasps out, her eyes locked on Imogen’s as she moves faster and faster, her body a blur of motion. “I want you to come with me. Please, please—” 

But she doesn’t finish her sentence. Her eyes squeeze shut, her grip around Imogen’s shoulders tightening, engulfing her in a tight hug as she buries her head in Imogen’s neck and cries out.

The way she comes will always be Imogen’s favorite thing to bear witness to. How she twitches and shudders—sometimes even shakes—and how she goes silent before crying out, much louder than Imogen is used to Laudna being. She squeals and she coos, sounds that Imogen hadn’t known she was hungry for until Laudna starts making them. 

Her walls are pulsating around her, clenching and unclenching in a need to draw her closer, to consume her. It causes Imogen to buck her hips harder, deeper, as she continues to fuck her through her orgasm, and it hits her soon after, a wave of pleasure that starts from her toes and works its way up to her abdomen. She lets out a loud cry as she comes inside Laudna, filling her up completely, feeling every twitch and pulse, every inch of Laudna's walls tightening around her, squeezing and milking her for every last drop.

They ride out the rest of their orgasm, panting and exhausted, kissing and moaning and rocking desperately against each other in an effort to pull each other even closer. For a few moments, they lay there, breathing each other in and trying to catch their breath, before Laudna pulls back. Her form of dread begins to recede, the branches slowly unwrapping from around Imogen's body, retracting back into her skin as the golden leaves wilt away. Before she reverts back completely though, she pulls one of the yellow flowers from a branch at her arm, and she sits up, hovering over Imogen who is still trying to catch her breath.

Laudna is beautiful when she smiles down at her, tucking the flower into her hair, before she lies down on the bed beside Imogen. She turns her head to look at Imogen, then, her eyes soft and kind, and Imogen can't resist leaning in to place a kiss to her forehead, feeling a surge of tenderness and protectiveness wash over her. As she pulls back, she notices a small smile playing at the corners of Laudna's lips, and her heart swells with happiness.

She takes a moment to clean Laudna up, twitching a little at the sight of their mixed arousal between her legs. She knows she can simply use prestidigitation but she wants to take care of her, and Laudna seems content to just lie back and let her. The thought of it makes Imogen's heart want to burst, at the love and trust Laudna places in her, and she thanks her for that, silently, with soft kisses pressed to her skin as she takes her time cleaning her.

When she's done, she stretches Laudna's legs out for her, placing the sheets over her naked form before climbing into bed beside her.

The brief silence that follows as they trade soft kisses is almost heavy enough to paralyze Imogen, thinking that maybe she imagined Laudna telling her she loves her, but then—oh, there it is, her heart making itself known in her chest again—because Laudna is whispering it against her shoulder, telling her that she loves her, her delicate fingers are running over Imogen’s warm skin, and all of her worries seem to fade.

She finds herself breathing out a laugh at how foolish she is.

“What?” Laudna asks. 

When Imogen pulls back, Laudna is smiling. Though she’s unaware of what amused Imogen, she’s still smiling, eyes so curious and wondrous. It makes Imogen smile too, makes her kiss her again because she can never get enough of Laudna’s lips on hers, makes her wonder if everyone feels this way when they’re with the person they love; makes her wonder if this is what life is really supposed to feel like.

“What? I love you,” Laudna repeats, “I do, why are you laughing?” and she’s smiling and closing her eyes when Imogen brings a hand up to stroke her face, letting out another soft sigh as Imogen starts to place more kisses all over her face. Several on her cheeks, on her forehead, on her nose, her eyelids and her temple and ears and neck and soon Laudna is giggling loudly as Imogen’s breath tickles her with each delicate kiss.

“I love you so much,” Imogen says. “I love you. I’m not sure I’ll love anybody else ever again.”

Laudna leans in to press a soft kiss to Imogen's lips, her hand moving to cradle the back of her neck, and Imogen returns the kiss, deepening it with a small sigh, savoring the taste and feel of Laudna's lips against hers. She pulls back, looking down at Laudna with her own smile full of all the love and adoration she feels for the woman beneath her, and Laudna softens, still smiling, still a little breathless, and still so beautiful, using a finger to tuck Imogen’s hair behind her ear, careful not to jostle the flower she had placed there.

When Laudna pulls her into her arms, she feels a swell of warmth spread throughout her chest as she immediately melts into her, content to stay like this forever. She gazes into Laudna's eyes, noticing how they sparkle with a mixture of joy and affection, and she knows without a doubt that in Laudna’s arms, Imogen is home.