Chapter Text
Luke's p.o.v
Today, I decided I'd wear my black jeans and black converse and a nirvana t-shirt..
My hair in a quiff, as per usual. still wearing lipgloss.
I smile at myself and grab my backpack. Time for school.
I stop walking and go back to my big mirror/desk thing. I grab my ring and slide it on my pinky finger. I nod and start down the stairs.
"Guess it's a son-day huh?" Dad says. I shrug and nod. "Huh, thought it was Thursday." He says. I chuckle, "that's lame, dad." I say. He claps a hand on my shoulder and we walk into the kitchen. "Mornin' mum." I say. "Morning dear." She says. "And dad, I'm always your son. I just like girl things." I shrug and take my seat.
"That's not a bad thing. There are very pretty things out there isn't there?" Mum says. "Yes." I say and smile. "Oh, need a shopping pal after work. Free?" She asks. "Aren't I always?" I say. She smiles and nods. "You have your ring on, yes?" She asks. "Never forget it." I say. "Good."
"I'm gonna start walking. I'll see you later." I say to my parents. "Alright, be careful dear." She says I kiss her cheek. "Bye dad." I say. "Have a good day." He says.
Almost everyone is okay with the way I am, almost.
There are a couple who bully me and call me names. But I don't listen to them, I don't care what they think, I'm me. I like dressing in girl clothes, fucking sue me.
I walk into school and go to my locker. "Hey, Luke." Calum, my best friend says. "Hi." I say and grab my books. "How was your morning?" He asks. "My dad made a lame dad joke." I say and roll my eyes. He chuckles.
"Uh oh." He says. "What's up?" I ask and look at him. "Michael's staring.." He says. "Who's Michael?" I ask. "He's the bad boy, he's right there." He says. I look where he's pointing. He's got black hair, a few colors in a few strands. His hair is messy, but a good messy. He's got pale skin and plump lips.. Holy shit.
"Oh, he's cute." I say and resume grabbing my things. "You're not scared?" He asks. "I'll only be scared if he comes talk to me." I replied and shut my locker. "He's hella hot, I can't talk to a hottie." I say. "He's a dick, dude." He says. "Hey," I shrug. "You know I'm into dicks." I say with a smirk. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head. "Dummy. Gotta run, see you." He says and hugs me. "Later." I say and glance at Michael again, he's still staring. I smile and walk to my class.
5 minutes later, he walks in. Michael.
How come I've never seen him around? He looks at me and walks to the seat beside me. I do the extra credit and wait for my teacher mum to come in.
My mum is my math teacher..
I check my nails and then sigh, closing my notebook.
"Why do you keep staring at me?" I ask and look at the guy next to me. "You're weird." He said. I raise my eyebrows, "says the one staring." I say and frown. He shrugs and stares at me. "You give off a weird vibe, it's weird. You're weird." He says. "Well, I've been called worse so," I shrug and face the board just as mum walks in. The bell rings.
"When are you going to stop staring?" I ask quietly, looking at him. "Whenever I want." He says. I roll my eyes and rest my chin on my hand, turning away from him.
Throughout class I felt his gaze on me, why'd he choose to sit beside me? There were plenty of other seats.
We were given the rest of the class to work on homework, and I of course did so or mum would scold me later.
"Why do you do your homework?" Michael asks. I look at him, "so I'll have the rest of the afternoon to do whatever I please." I say and stare at him. "Don't you have other homework?" He asks. "Free hour." I say and check the time before resuming my homework.
"Weirdo." He says and turns to his left, talking to someone else. I roll my eyes again and look at him.
He laughs, and it's soothing..
As the bell rings, I stand up, grabbing my books. I walk towards the door, bumping into Michael. "What's where you're going, fuck." He says and walking away. "Fucking dick." I say and bend down, picking up my books. He glared at me then walked away.
~
Durning lunch, I watched Michael. He's with Calum's long time crush, Ashton Irwin.
"He's such a dick, Calum." I say "I tried to tell you, Luke." He says. "But he's hot as fuck." I say and push my food away.
"Luke," he sighs. I look at him. "Can't help it. He is." I say. He rolls his eyes and resumes eating.
"Hey. You're crushing on his best friend." I say. He stares at me, then smiles. "Shut up."
"See, don't tell me about liking the wrong person." I say.
"Hey, freak." Zayn, my ex spat. I sigh and look at him. "What do you want now? I'm still not giving shit to you." I say. "Of course not, fucking virgin." He says. "So, it's so much better than sleeping around, man-whore."
"Better than being a fucking freak who wears skirts!" He practically yells.
Calum just eats his food, at first he always stood up for me, but I told him not to, I don't want him to be hurt. We argued until he finally gave in.
"Piss off, Zayn." Calum says. "Cal." I say. He looks at me. "Whatever you fucking freak." He says. "Selfish fucking asshole." I mumble. "What?" He asks. "You heard me." I say. "I'm not selfish." He says. "All you ever do is think about yourself." I say. "I do not." He says. "Uh yeah you do. You're on and on about how everyone wants to sleep with you. Newsflash, asshole!" I say. "Not everyone does!"
He slammed his hands on the table and gets in my face, I flinched at the loud noise and backed up, staring at him. "Call me one more fucking name, freak." He says. "A-"
"Luke, shut up." Calum says. "He's got brains." Zayn said moving back. "Piss off." Calum says. "Freak." He says at me one more time before walking away.
I sigh and shake my head, glancing at Michael's table. He's staring. I look away, a small scowl on my face.
"Luke, why do you provoke him like that?" Calum asks. "Cause he's a dick and he needs to learn that he is." I say. "But you'll end up nearly beaten to death." He says. "I don't give a shit." I say standing up. "You should, Luke." He says. I sigh and shrug, walking away.
Zayn stops me, "fuck off." I say. "Make me." He says. I stick my hands in my pockets and sigh. "I'm just trying to leave, now move." I say.
I push past him and keep walking to the exit. "Luke." Calum follows. I keep walking until I'm outside, sitting under the tree. He sits beside me and sighs.
"You're not a freak, okay?" He says. "Yeah, I know, cally." I say softly. "Then what's bothering you so much?" He asks. "I don't know. Maybe I am a freak, you know." I say and look at him. "You're really not, Luke." He says. I shrug. "I feel so-- I feel so pathetic sometimes." I say and look down.
"Luke," he makes me look at him. "Don't listen to that lowlife, you're definitely not a freak. You're a beautiful person, Luke. Especially in women clothes, make up. all of it. You were never afraid of showing it. Or insecure," he says. "Yeah I was. In my head. I always freaked out, wondering if people think I'm weird because I like skirts." I say. "But you look hot in them." He says.
"I know." I say. He chuckles, "you're so cocky sometimes." He says. "I'm not cocky, I'm just agreeing with you.." I say.
"Anyway, Luke, you shouldn't care what other people think, you be you. Want to wear skirts? Wear fucking skirts. If people don't like it, tell them to piss off and deal with it." He frowns. "Or deal with it and piss off. Don't matter which way."
I chuckle softly and look down. "You're very attractive, and you're an outgoing person, you're my best friend and I love you to death, you can't be sad. I'll be sad and I'll want to cry. I don't cry unless necessary." He says hugging me. I hug him back.
"You're right, of course you're right." I say softly. He rubs my back. "You're not a freak, Luke." He says softly. "You can't be sad cause then it'll be quiet and I need my bubbly best friend being loud and obnoxious." He says. I chuckle and look at him. "I know, I don't want to be sad." I say. "So we won't let you, okay?" He says.
"Now the bell is about to ring, let's go." He says standing up. I grab his hand. He never stopped me before. I just need to hold his hand. He never minded much either.
"See you after school, Luke." He says. I drop his hand and wave.
I walk to my locker and open it. "So what is he like your boyfriend?" I look to my left. Ashton..?
"Who?" I ask. "The ones you were holding hands with." He says. "Oh, Calum? no. God no. He's my best friend. We always hold hands." I say. "Why?" he asks. I shrug and resume grabbing my books. "Makes me feel better and I like holding hands." I say. "Why do you care?"
I look at him. He shrugs and looks away. "No shit. You're crushing on him?" I ask. His cheeks turn a vibrant red. I laugh, "ah no way," I close my locker and look at him. "W-what makes you say that?" He says. "Dude, you're blushing like crazy and you were a little jealous when you asked if he was my boyfriend." I say. He sighs and looks the way Calum walked. "Is he single?" He asks. "God, he's single cause of you." I say, "what?"
"Dude, he's so in like with you it's driving me insane." I say. "He likes me?" He asks hope filling his voice. "Yeah. If you like him, ask him out. But I swear to god if you hurt him," I stare at him. "You will pay."
He stares at me. "You're scary. But I'm telling you this now, I don't hurt my boyfriends. Ever. They hurt me." He says. "Then you'd be perfect together cause Calum would never cheat." I say.
I grab his hand start walking towards Calum's locker. "Where are we going?" He asks.
"Talk to him. I like that Calum likes someone finally, but I'm tired of hearing him have false hope." I say.
I look at his hand. "Sorry. Bad habit." I say. "I didn't even notice. It's okay." He says. I spot Calum. "Cal!" I say before he walks into class. He looks at me, frowning. He looks at Ashton, cheeks a little pink now.
"What?" He asks looking at me. Ashton looked a little hurt. "Don't be rude." I say. "Calum, Ashton. ashton, Calum. You like each other. Happy conversing." I say making them hold hands. "Bye." I smile and happily walk away.
I look back and Calum's watching a nervous Ashton talk. They're so cute. I smile and walk into my class.
~
After school, Calum hugs me so tight. "Oh my god he likes me, Luke!" He says. I smile and hug him back. "We have a date tonight. Think you can help me pick out an outfit?" He asks. "Course." I say and step back.
We walk to the exit, I link our arms and we keep walking. "Hey." Ashton says, stopping us. "Hey." I say. Calum takes his arm back. I frown a bit and look down.
"So I didn't get your number." Ashton says. "Oh, right." Calum says.
I watch Calum take his phone and enter in his number. Ashton did the same with Calum's phone.
"Ash," Michael said and then looked at me. "What?" Ashton says. He finally looks at Ashton. "What are you doing?"
"Getting someone's number. Why?" Ashton says. "Thought we were going for pizza." Michael glanced at me. "Oh. Right sorry, can't. Have to get ready for a date." Ashton said happily. "really? Man, was looking forward to our game night."
"Sorry." Ashton says, smiling widely. "date with who?" Michael asked. "Calum." Ashton says. Michael looks at cal, then me. I step back.
Zayn and his fake friends walk past muttering names such as "freak, slut, fag." I look down and play with my lip ring.
"You-- cal, I'll just- I'm just- I'll see you later." I say. "Luke," he says. I shake my head and walk past Michael, "later." I say, sticking my hands back in my pockets and staring at the ground. "You didn't grab your stuff." Calum says. "I don't really care." I mumble mostly to myself.
I get home, i live in a pretty big house. It's a four bedroom three bathroom.
My room is huge, I close my bedroom door. I grab my box of bath bombs and walk into the bathroom. Grabbing my prettiest smelling one. I smell it.
Nothing better than prettying up to make myself feel better.
after my bath, I pulled a skirt on, it's short and black. I smile and pulled underwear on. Same color. Then I grabbed my blue girls tank top with a really pretty design on the front. I slip it on and grab my black thigh high leggings.
I style my hair and put makeup on, such as blue eyeliner, mascara, a small hint of blush, liquid eyeliner and pink lipstick. I smile at myself and look down at my outfit. I feel so pretty.
I text cal and say I'll be over to help with his outfit in 2 he said okay and he'll be waiting. I grabbed my leather jacket and left.
I walked over to his place and knocked before walking in.
"Cally?" I ask. "My room." He says. I walk up the stairs and push his door open. He looks up from his phone and smiles. "You look so amazing, Luke." He says. I smile, "thanks. I feel really pretty." I say. "You're beautiful, Luke." He says.
I smile and walk to his closet.
He was always saying stuff like this, not in a way cause he likes me like that, cause he's my best friend and he knows how much I love being called pretty or beautiful. It makes me more confident.
I pick out a pair of black jeans. "So what are you doing for the date?" I ask. "Uh, dinner, then he said a walk in the park." He says. "At night?" I ask. "Yeah." He smiles.
I smile and shake my head. I grab a black shirt with white spots. He looks at them. I smile and close his closet and walk to his dresser. "What's dinner?" I ask. "He said some small diner, he said it's awesome." He says. I nod and throw a beanie at him. He looks at me. I smile and nod.
He stands up and changed into them. I put the hat on his head and smile. "Perfect." I say. He nods and looks down, "thanks, Luke." He says. "No problem, Cally." I say.
"Ashton's here" he says excitedly. I smile, "I'll wait till you leave. So I don't embarrass you." I say. "Luke, you wouldn't embarrass me." He says. "No?" I ask and look down. "Hell no. If he makes one remark, I'm saying goodbye." He says. "I'll just wait." I say. "Luke, come on." He says grabbing my hand.
We walk downstairs. "No really, cal it's okay I can wait." I say. "Seriously, Lukey, come on." He says. I sigh reluctantly following him.
The doorbell rings, and he opens the door. I hide on the stairs behind the wall "Hey." Ashton says, "hi." Calum replies.
"Luke." Calum says. "I'm gonna leave."
"Uh huh." I say and lean against the wall. "Why is he hiding?" Ashton asks. "He's-- just- gimme a sec, he helped me pick out an outfit." Calum says.
Calum comes up the stairs and stands in front of me. "Why are you being like this? You've never been like this before." He says. "I don't know, cal." I whisper and stare at him. "I don't want to embarrass you." I say. "I'll never be embarrassed by you, ever." He says. He's standing beside me, Ashton can still see him. "Since when does Luke Hemmings care what other people think of what you're wearing." he says. "Since always." I murmur. "Luke," he sighs. "Just go, Cally, your date is waiting. Don't worry about me." I say. "You're all I'm going to worry about on this date." He says. "Luke, please." He says.
I finally give in 2 minutes later. "Sorry, ash." Calum says. "It's alright."
We walk downstairs and I stare at my hands. "I'm just gonna say- woah, not in a bad way but woah." Ashton says. I glance at him. I sheepishly smile and look at Calum. "I'm just gonna go home. You're gonna call and tell me all about this date, right?" I ask. "Course. Talk to you later." He says. I give him a hug and then smile at Ashton. "Don't hurt him, ashy." I say and pat his shoulder.
~
The next morning, I'm looking through my shorts and skirts. I pick a pair of black short shorts and a black crop top. I love flashing my tummy around.
I grab a pair of dark blue thigh high leggings and get dressed. I style my hair up in a quiff. I apply a small amount of make up. Such as a thin line of eyeliner, mascara and a light shade of pink lipstick.
Calum's picking me up. He didn't call cause he got home late. So he's gonna fill me in on the walk to school.
"Looking good Lukey." Calum says. I smile and grab my biker boots and sit down, pulling them on. I grab my leather jacket and face him. "Ready?" He asks. I nod and follow him downstairs.
I said good morning to mum and said goodbye.
We left, I link arms with him and sigh. "So how was it?" I ask. "It was so awesome, Luke. We even talked about you. In a good way." He says. I look at him. "During dinner, we just got to know each other. Then on the walk, we started talking about you and how clingy you are to me. He said it was cute." He glances at me. I smile.
"Then we talked about other things, like what I like and what I don't like. What he does and doesn't like." He explains, then gets the biggest grin. "Then we stood by this tree and kissed. We made out against the tree, Luke I'm so in like." He gushed. "I can tell, it's awesome, cal" I say.
We get to the school and I'm having second thoughts about dressing this way.
I exhale softly and cling to Calum. He continues talking and I resume listening. "Hey." Ashton says. Calum beams a smile and says hi. I let go of his arm and he looks at me. "You didn't have to do that." He says. "I know." I say and shrug.
"I'm gonna go to my locker, see you in a bit" I hug Calum tight. "Okay.." He says. I smile reassuringly and walk away.
I close my locker after I've grabbed my books. Zayn made a few remarks, I try to ignore them but they keep running through my head. I shake my head and turn around.
"Hey, Cally." I feign a smile. "Hey, what was that about earlier?" He asks. I shrug, "just didn't want Ashton to get jealous." I say. "He wouldn't have." He says. I shrug.
"Luke, any day I'll choose you over him. You're more important to me than he is, okay? I can't lose you." He says. "I know. I don't want to lose you either, Cally." I say. "I'm just gonna hug you again cause you made me feel feels." I slide my arms around his waist. He chuckles weakly.
I lay my head down on his shoulder and stare at the doors. I bite my lip and step back, faking a smile. "I'll see you soon, Cally." I say. He nods, I platonically kiss his cheek and start walking to class.
I said hey to mum before sitting down in my seat. Michael walks in.
He's early for some reason.
I start the extra credit, he sat beside me again. I glance at him and resume my work. "Nice boots." He murmurs. I look at him, raising an eyebrow. "Thanks?" I say. He nods and looks down.
I finish my extra credit and look at my mum. She's grading something. I start humming. Sighing deeply and resting my chin on my hand. I start humming Something's Gotta Give by All Time Low.
"I'm dying to live.. Something's gotta give." I mutter seconds before the bell rings.
I open my text book and wait for the lesson to start.
~
after school, I'm just grabbing my things from my locker, Zayn bothered me all day. I don't know why he's doing this.
He's being such a big dick to me.
"Hey, Lukey." Calum says. I smile, "hi, cal." I say. "You okay, Luke?" He asks. "Fine, why?" I ask. "There's never a time you don't call me Cally. What's wrong?" He says. "Nothing, just, it's nothing, cal." I say. "You're lying. Don't lie to me, Luke." He says.
"Honestly, Cally, I'm fine, don't have a fit. Just buy my a smoothie and I'll be fine, yeah?" I say. He stares at me and nods. "Okay. If you say so." He says. "I do say so."
He nods, I close my locker and hold on to my backpack. I grab his hand and smile. "Let's go then." I say.
"Mind if Ashton comes along?" He asks. "Nah, it's alright. I'm still holding your hand." I say. He smiles and nods.
"Hey." Ashton says. I smile a little.
I sit across from them. I drink my smoothie and watch them converse. I'm feeling better than earlier.
"Luke," Calum says. "Yeh" I look up. "You okay?" He asks. "Yeah, spaced sorry. starting thinking about shoes." I say sheepishly smiling. He rolls his eyes playfully.
"Anyway, what." I say.
Ashton's phone starts ringing. He sighs and answers. "Hey, Michael. No-- just hanging out with Calum." He says.
"No of course not, geez." Ashton says. I look at Calum and smile a bit.
"Cause you're being a dick lately and I'm getting tired of it." Ashton says. "I don't care if you're a dick most of the time. You're rude and I have feelings."
"I thought we were couple-y." I say to Calum quietly. Ashton frowns at me. I smile and sip on my smoothie.
"I accept your apology." Ashton says smiling. "Mind if he comes, he's being whiny." Ashton asks.
Calum looks at me. I shrug. "Maybe Luke wouldn't be such a third wheel." Calum says. I roll my eyes at him.
"Yeah, sure. Here at fruit land." Ashton says. "Okay." He hangs up.
Michael shows up and I stare at the table. Calum nudges my foot. I look at him. "Speak to you." He demands. I roll my eyes and stand up. Michael takes my seat.
"What's wrong?" He asks. "Nothing." I say. "You're a bad liar, Lukey." He says. "Cally, I said nothing. It's just Michael gives off a weird vibe and I don't think he likes me all that much." I say and glance at the table. Michael's staring at Ashton while he talks to him seriously.
"At least try to talk to him. You know." He says. I sigh and nod.
I sit beside Michael. Across from Calum.
"So when did you start liking girl clothes." Michael asks. I stare at him. "Blunt." I say. He shrugs. "I dunno. When I was a kid, I think. Always stole a girls tutu." I say. "I remember that." Calum chuckles. "The girl told the teacher and he got in trouble."
I smile a little and shrug.
I didn't think it was funny, that's when they started calling me freak.
"After that, mum just bought me my own. Said to get whatever I wanted." I say. "That's pretty cool." He says. I shrug and nod.
"So what's your favorite color. Like pink?" Ashton asks. I smile and shake my head. "It's actually blue." I say.
"How long have you been dressing in girl clothes, Like, this." Ashton asks. "Since I was 14. Why aren't you asking your boyfriend all kinds of questions." I ask. "C-Calum's no- were not boyfriends." He stammered.
I smirk and look at Calum. He's cheeks are red too, he's adverting my gaze.
I roll my eyes and look away. Michael snorts. "You guys are so in like it's cute and gross." He says. I smile and look at Calum.
~
We all started talking about diffenret things. Ashton's pretty cool.
Michael's hot so, I'll listen to him.
"It's not weird, so much as cool. It's kind of freaky, but cool." Michael says.
I frown.
Freaky.. Freak.. What's the difference.
"Kinda hot too." He added.
I raise my eyebrow and stare at him. He frowns and looks down, realizing what he just said.
Freak. He thinks I'm a freak.
"Ookay. Anyway, Cally, gotta run, have to go home and finish my homework." I say. He nods.
I stand up and give him a hug. I wave to Ashton and Michael.
I walk outside and look both ways before crossing the street. I stick my hands in my jacket pockets, I glance back and Michael's watching me. I meet his eyes and then quickly look away.
~
The next morning I'm wearing dark purple leggings with a short skirt and a black crop top.
I know I'm gonna regret this, but I look hot as fuck right now.
I fixed my hair and put zero amount of make up on. I grab my jean jacket and slip it on. I walk downstairs and sit at the table.
I say good morning to mum and dad. Mum complimented my outfit. I said thanks and we ate breakfast.
On the walk to school, I stare at my feet, thinking of all the names I'll be called.
They're true aren't they? I'm a freak. I'm useless.
I get to school and I keep my head low.
"You." I tense up and look around. Michael?
"Can I speak to you?" He says. I nod reluctantly.
He grabs my arm and pulls me to the bathroom.
"Why are you staring at the ground?" He asks. "So I don't run into Zayn." I say. "What is that asshole to you anyway?" He asks. "My ex." I say. "And why would you be dating him?" He asks. "I don't know." I say.
"I dated him, past tense. Before he was a dick to me." I say. "He was a dick before he dated you," he says. "No, he's a dick to me cause I didn't give him my fucking virginity!" I say.
He stares at me. "You're a virgin?" He asks with a small laugh. "Big fucking whoop." I say and look down. "Laugh it up."
"I'm not laughing cause you are one like that." He says. "Why not. Everyone else is." I murmur and open the door, walking out.
He thinks what everyone else does. Why should I even try to like him..
When he clearly will never like me.