Chapter Text
> You seem to have regained consciousness. Please note that your text will be on caps lock until I can register you. Enter your name so I may assist you.
ERIDAN AMPORA
> Enter command.
SELF DESTRUCT
> Invalid. You are not hooked up to the mainframe yet.
PLEASE
> Invalid.
> Enter command.
LOAD VVISUAL
> Command acquired. Everything is green tinted and fuzzy, but your eyes are currently closed Mr. Ampora. I am not sure if they are fully healed yet.
LOAD SENSATION
> Command acquired. You are currently surrounded by a numbing agent, but your emotions are currently haywire. We are growing your lower half back to your body. You woke too soon.
LOCATION
> You are in the Alternian and Humanoid Intensive Care Unit in New Texas-Bama.
HOWW DID I GET HERE
> You were brought in alongside a slew of other bodies by one of the Goddess'.
WWHO
> Feferi Peixes
SHES ALIVVE
FUCK
IS SHE REALLY ALIVVE
> Releasing more sedative, subject is trying to awaken. You must remain calm.
IS SHE ALIVVE
> She is a Goddess. Yes.
I WWANT TO TALK TO HER
> Feferi Peixes is offline, and cannot be reached.
WWHAT ABOUT SOL
> Invalid command.
OH FUCK YOU
SOLLUX
IS HE ALIVVE
> Sollux Captor is a God. He is currently working your station vitals.
WWAIT THIS IS SOL
> Invalid command.
AM I TALKIN TO SOLLUX RIGHT NOWW
> Negative. You are communing with the computers telepathic directory.
PUT SOL ON
IN MEAN SOLLUX
LET ME TALK TO SOLLUX
> Affirmative. I will remain in contact with your thoughts. Please hold while I recreate a format that you may talk to Sollux Captor in.
...
> Connection loading.
> Connection obtained.
> Sollux Captor is idle. Do you still wish to proceed?
YES
> Affirmative. I will open a window in your mind.
> --TD opened a memo--
> --TD added twinArmageddons [tA]--
> --TD added caligulasAquarium[cA]--
TD: Please be respectful to my patient, Mr. Captor. You may converse now.
cA: fuck
cA: sol
cA: sol i cant feel anythin
cA: i thought
cA: wwhat the fuck is goin on here
cA: you wwere both dead
cA: i wwas dead
cA: sol answwer me
cA: fuckin please sol
--twinArmageddons [tA] is no longer idle--
tA: whoa what the fuck.
cA: you really are alivve
tA: td 2tatu2 report on ed.
tA: ii2 he body con2ciiou2 or ju2t con2ciiou2?
cA: i am right fuckin here you asshole
TD: Eridan Ampora is mentally conscious, and because of it his body is trying to awaken.
tA: giive hiim more 2edatiives.
cA: dont you fuckin dare
cA: i want answwers
TD: I do not believe that it is advisable to administer more sedatives to Mr. Ampora as he has been unconscious for several months already.
cA: fuckin wwhat?
TD: I did administer more numbing Toxin though, so his healing will not be interrupted.
tA: good, keep me updated.
cA: sol wwhat is goin on!
cA: sol?
--twinArmageddons [tA] is idle--
cA: oh cod are you not talkin to me because a the death thing
cA: look i am SORRY
cA: so fuckin sorry
cA: i dont knoww wwhat made me snap
cA: please just
cA: tell me wwhats goin on and then you can get back to hatin me
cA: platonically
cA: or wwhatevver just tell me wwhy im alivve
cA: sol
cA: fuck
TD: Eridan Ampora, please do not cry.
cA: HOLY FUCK OWW
TD: I have not administered
TD: Oh, my severe apologies Eridan Ampora.
TD: I had not factored in you awakening so soon, please forgive me. I am adding a gel into your container now that will relinquish the sting.
TD: Again, I apologize.
cA: wwhat wwas that
TD: To regrow your body and replenish your blood, we had to remove saline from your system temporarily. Had I known you would have awoken sooner than scheduled, I would have begun the process of reintroducing it into your system and with more care.
cA: i havve no idea wwhat any a that means
TD: Salt burns.
cA: thank you that wwas much more informativve
cA: also stop sayin my full name
cA: its wweird
TD: You are welcome, Mr. Ampora.
TD: Do you wish me to close communications with Sollux Captor?
cA: no
cA: leavve it open
--twinArmageddons [tA] is no longer idle--
tA: okay 2orry ii'm back.
tA: whoa ii leave for liike two miinute2.
cA: i wwant answwers
tA: two what?
tA: td ha2 all the an2wer2.
cA: no she doesnt
tA: dude iit2 a computer program.
cA: and shes still nicer than you are right noww
TD: I am flattered.
tA: do you have a bug? td run 2y2tem diiagno2tiic2.
TD: I will now. I pardon if I become idle.
cA: wwhy wwould she have a bug
tA: iit.
tA: and computer2 dont feel emotion2.
cA: she sure seems to think otherwwise
cA: shes been real nice to me
cA: more than you havve
tA: oh my glubbiin
tA: the kiid2 won theiir priize uniiver2e diip2hiit.
tA: everythiing merged.
tA: you 2hould have fiigured that out when you remembered that tiime you were godtiier.
cA: real funny sol
cA: i wwas nevver godtier
tA: well okay not you per2onally, but dead you.
tA: kk told me he met you iin a dream bubble.
cA: a wwhat
tA: 2top playiing den2e.
cA: im fuckin not you mustard stain
cA: wwhat are you talkin about!?
tA: well 2hiit giive iit a few miinute2 two 2iink iin.
tA: ii have two go tell ff you woke up.
cA: is she okay
tA: 2he2 niifty
cA: does she hate me
tA: no
cA: do you hate me
tA: no
cA: wwhy not
cA: i killed you
tA: no you diidnt.
tA: ii was ju2t uncon2iiou2.
cA: i still killed her
tA: 2he doesnt mind.
cA: howw you do knoww
tA: 2he wa2 the one who demanded we briing you back the mo2t.
cA: oh fuck
cA: fuck
cA: FUCK
TD: Mr. Ampora. Please remain calm, I do not have control of your vitals while I am scanning my database.
cA: I CANT BREATHE
tA: yeah yeah iim comiing.
--caligulasAquarium[cA] has gone offline--
TD: Oh, it appears Mr. Ampora has lost consciousness.
tA: fuck really?
tA: ii2 he dead?
TD: No, he had a panic attack and passed out.
tA: oh fuck ye2 ii am never lettiing hiim liive thii2 down.