Chapter Text
Blurred trees filling my vision, leaves and twigs crackling beneath my feet, the forest comes alive around me, digging deep into instincts I've long buried. Mixed with the odor of petrichor and pine there’s that smell. The most delicious and intoxicating, the one that makes my head hazy and drives me to run harder, faster towards that scent. Sweet as ripe fruit, a little spicy with a hint of vanilla, I can almost taste it on my tongue, the delicious trace my prey has left behind. My heart becomes loud in my ears, the scenery seeming to disappear as the craving makes me salivate.
“Omega,” I growl loudly, as much a threat as a promise of what will happen if I win the hunt.
I can almost see the victory now, my eyes focused on brown curls blowing in the wind as a slender body flees through the woods. The beast inside my chest emerges from its slumber, scraping at the edge of my consciousness, my mind now clouded by the repetitive thoughts of “take, mate, bite”. Fate is on my side, the uneven ground slows down my target and I don’t let the opportunity escape when a slippery rock sends him to the ground. Triumph is at hand, and I can already hear the cries of the poor creature as he submits to me, his powerful alpha. The quivering silhouette freezes at my approach, curling in on himself with a pathetic whimper that awakens a sadistic satisfaction in my heart. I let my pheromones saturate the air, marking my territory before the beginning of the ancestral ritual of coupling. This is my win, and should someone be there, they’d know not to intervene at the risk of losing their life — the prize is mine. I expected a last fight from the pretty thing but, hearing my groans, he uncoils, big doe eyes looking at me, glassy with lust.
“Please, alpha,” he begs me.
My last string of consciousness snaps at the plea, my human part losing out to my primal instincts, and I snarl before diving into my prey, ready to taste the blood of my omega.
A shrill sound echoed in the room, waking Hotch with a start. Drowsily, he automatically turned off his alarm clock, then assessed the situation. The bedroom was dark with only a thread of light filtering through the curtains, the chirping of birds the only reminder of the outside world in his silent house. If the familiarity of his surroundings wasn’t enough to anchor him in reality, the awful sensation of sweat-soaked sheets clinging to his skin chased away the last mists of sleep. Hotch still vividly remembered the feel of the wind on his bare body as he ran through the forest to catch…God, how could he have had such a perverse dream about one of his subordinates? Despite his best efforts, the image of Spencer’s face flashed before his eyes, his temperature rising with every whimper of the omega. “Please, alpha” looped in his mind, making him dizzy.
Throwing back the blanket, he then noticed the tent in his pants, his body getting ahead of his brain when it came to lust. There must’ve been something wrong with him for a dream, in which nothing had really happened, to leave him in this state. Ignoring the issue and its cause seemed to be the best course of action for the agent, determined to follow his morning routine, starting with a shower. The first jets of cold water cleared his head, a pleasant shock before the water turned warm, relaxing his stiff muscles. The comfort of habit allowed his thoughts to wander as every inch of his body was thoroughly scrubbed. This quiet moment was usually a good time to review his schedule and start mentally filling in all the documents waiting on his desk, but today any attempt at budgeting was pointless. Hotch was getting hot again and he wasn’t sure whether the burning feeling in his belly was due to shame or his erection that hadn't disappeared yet. The alpha contemplated the idea of masturbating, scratching the itch once and for all, giving in to his instincts before burying them again. But the unit chief was nothing if not righteous and jerking off at the image of his innocent coworker, lying on the dirty forest soil, sounded wrong.
He tried to ignore the water teasingly running down his body, the suffocating heat of the air, and the painful burn of his desire. However, he couldn’t hold back a hiss when his hand casually brushed his cock. He froze immediately, hands flying away from his body, already berating himself. Taking a slow breath, Hotch pulled himself together. I’ll quickly finish his shower, I won’t touch myself, I’ll forget that stupid dream! A slow breath, a careless touch, a hiss, a shuddering breath, a more deliberate touch, a moan. The line between want and need had become blurred and, before he could give it any more thought, Aaron was slowly stroking himself.
His resolve was crumbling under the weight of his lust, but he was adamant not to cross the line, doing his best to banish Reid from his mind. The alpha hadn't planned to take so long, but all the random porn images his brain summoned only frustrated him, the beast in him screaming for a particular doe-eyed omega. His imagination was useless as his imaginary partners always ended up with the young man’s face, body, or scent — Spencer was in every one of his fantasies. His cock was an angry red, throbbing painfully, weeping precum, the friction no longer pleasant but bordering on torture. Finally, after a few more strokes, Aaron abandoned any moral conflict, his primal instincts taking over as he became more and more desperate.
Bracing himself on the wall, he grabbed his cock with both hands, teasing the tip and spreading the leaking precum while gently fondling his growing knot. He let his imagination run wild, wondering how the omega’s hands would feel on his burning skin, slender fingers joining his around his member. How the young man would fall to his knees, begging for him to fill his mouth until his stomach was swollen. How he would choke on his cock, tears streaming from his eyes, his throat sore but still asking for more. Aaron was panting now, speeding up his movements, desperate to finish. Grunts escaped his lips as he pictured the omega presenting before him, his hole gushing with slick and twitching with impatience. He couldn’t wait to shove his knot inside him, to hear Spencer scream his name as he thrust, again and again, deep inside his womb. There was no way the omega wouldn’t be pregnant by the time he was done with him. Along with his fantasy, Aaron’s knot grew heavier, and it only took a few more strokes and a press to the bulb to send him over the edge. His knees buckled under the force of his orgasm as cum continued to spurt from his cock. Sitting on his shower floor, panting, Hotch kept a firm hand around his knot to simulate a mating, his body satisfied but his alpha sad to see his seed going down the drain.
The now cold water roused him from his daze and, after a few moments of shivering, his body still asking for more, his heart slowed and his temperature dropped back to normal. Unfortunately, this meant that guilt and shame returned with a vengeance, weighing heavily on his chest. Letting his soft cock go, the agent wondered how he was supposed to face his colleague today after what he’d just done. The bright side of this mess was that he had a clear head for the first time since waking up, and the hungry beast inside him seemed to settle down, satisfied for now.
After the confusing events of the morning, Hotch considered calling in sick for the first time since taking over as unit chief. He felt bad for giving in to his instincts and had frankly no idea how to face the omega. Lust aside, his feelings for Reid were…complicated. As his boss, he was proud and admirative of the genius, entrusting him with his life on a daily basis. As a friend, practically family, the young man was an important member of his pack whom Hotch felt protective and caring of, just like the rest of the team, nothing inappropriate, he kept telling himself. But as a single alpha to an unmated omega? His instincts gave him shameful urges towards his subordinate, desires that took his mind off work, distracted him during meetings, and woke him up in the middle of the night, breathless and longing for a release he’d always denied himself. Not today though, today he’d caved in and didn’t know where that left him. He could always justify these thoughts with the wild and feral instincts that everyone attributed to alphas, but nothing could explain the warm feeling that filled his heart when he saw Spencer’s smile. The alpha lusted after the omega, but Aaron craved a very different kind of intimacy with Spencer, daydreaming of breakfasts in bed, movie nights, or romantic dinners by candlelight. It was this sentiment that frightened Hotch the most, and it was simply easier to just sweep it under the rug and focus on keeping the beast inside him on a leash, pretending his pain was just fleeting passion.
Looking at himself in the mirror, Hotch could see in the tiny cracks of his mask the animal that slumbered within the FBI agent. His perfectly pressed suit was his armor, protecting him by reflecting the image of a man that nothing could move. A man in control, that’s what he was, or used to be, until Gideon forced him to take on a young genius with an IQ of 187 and big hazel eyes in his team. At first, he’d thought nothing of the omega, perhaps a little worried about sending an inexperienced kid into the field but Jason had vouched for him. Back then he was a happy alpha, mated to his high school sweetheart and with a pup on the way, so pretty omegas were the last thing on his mind. Then, he got to know Reid and everything became difficult.
His courtship with Haley had been simple, they’d met at school, she was pretty and he brilliant, she was loving and warm and he longed for a family, she was an omega and he was an alpha. It used to be enough for Aaron, after a tumultuous childhood under his father’s beatings and his mother’s cries, a mundane, boring married life was all he needed. Things were perfect for a while, the time it took to heal the wounds in his heart. For him to mature into a strong, confident man, a leader. But that hadn't been enough for a long time, much longer than Hotch would ever admit to himself. That’s probably why, as he grew apart from Haley, he and Reid became closer, sharing the same determination to do good, to change the world. In the end, it’d only been a matter of time before his marriage shattered and for Spencer to become more than a coworker to him.
If he was honest with himself, his forbidden desire for the man had begun before his divorce. Nothing could surpass the shame he’d felt the first time he’d woken up from a particularly vivid dream about the enticing omega, his underwear wet and sticky, his pregnant wife sleeping next to him. A part of him had never forgiven himself, forbidding him to pursue Spencer even after his divorce as a punishment. His betrayal and the idea that a relationship with Spencer, while certainly fulfilling —the images of his latest dream made him shiver— would awaken something in him that he didn’t want to face… it finished convincing him to push his feelings away. Some instincts are better buried, he repeated to himself, the same thought he’d had all those years ago when he’d watched his feral father ransack the living room in a fit of rage.
To prevent any….incidents, the alpha double-checked his rut calendar — he still had 3 weeks left— and used a disposable test to verify his level of alpha pheromones. Only then did he deem it safe to go to work that day. It was a busy period for the BAU, the case stack had never been higher on JJ’s desk, so Hotch was relieved that it was Haley’s turn to keep Jack, even if it meant facing his ex-wife’s judgmental stare. Aaron couldn’t really blame her, knowing that she was partly right — he needed to be more present in Jack’s life. That’s why the father fully intended to work hard this week to complete all his paperwork so he could spend some free time with his son. He couldn't afford to take a day off now. What happened this morning was probably the result of an instinctive reaction to his long period of abstinence. Rossi, who constantly preached the benefit of a healthy sex life for an alpha, would agree with him.
With a heavy sigh, Hotch knotted his tie tighter than usual and glanced at the mirror one very last time. The image of a stern agent in a dark, crisp suit stared back. Satisfied, he looked at his watch and noted with horror that he was late, something unusual enough to earn him some remarks and raise questions for sure. Maybe he’d stop by the coffee shop next to the office on his way, a few minutes later wouldn’t make any difference, and the free breakfast might be a good distraction to keep the sneaky profilers off his back. Or at least one could hope. Aaron reminisced about Spencer when he brought him coffee from time to time, the young man thanking him in a whisper, a shy smile on his lips, and a blush dotting his cheeks. It raised his temperature several degrees each time, and the memory alone stirred something in his chest. Dave’s right I really need to get laid. A final thought about Spencer and a bed crossed his mind, the last one for today, he promised, knowing that it was all in vain. There were so many other places he could imagine taking Spencer after all.
I’m so fucking screwed.
Yes, he was.