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It was once again the early spring of 1996 MSK, more specifically a cool evening just barely within the boundaries of Nutty Noon, an autumnal, evening-sky-filled, all-around lovely quintant of Popstar. Nothing could possibly provide a wart on this dream night.
At least, nothing besides the sputtering of a disgustingly outdated vehicle.
That vehicle was the Ancient crap minivan-boat now being driven by the round Sir Kurt "Meta Knight" Popo Pollie and his microphone best friend, Sir Michael "Mikey" Roger. To put a long story short, their recent little coup attempt against Dream Land's corrupt then-queen Layor had gone down in flames and taken their prized ship and home, the Halberd, down with it; and due to one of many design flaws on that ship, the escape pods flew out way too far and had scattered their crew, the Meta-Knights, across Planet Popstar. In one particularly unlucky case, Meta's other best friend Garlude and her daughter Sirica had been launched into a portal to Another Dimension that only opens every 8.121 years, forcing the two (plus some random girl they decided to help there named Susie) to fend for themselves and wait out those years while Meta and Mikey set out on a worldwide road trip in this horrible vehicle to rescue everyone on the B-Team.
Got all that? Good! Now back to the van, and specifically a little chat between our heroes.
"You know, maybe two so-called heroes who disappeared for three years and then tried to set up a coup shouldn't just be driving across the planet in broad daylight," said Meta from behind the wheel. "Just a thought."
Mikey, always the optimist, replied, "Well, either we get proven wrong and can just cruise through everywhere unopposed, or we don't, in which case we'll just make some top-notch disguises, get everyone as soon as we can, and then all become hermits around the Raisin Ruins until that portal opens. And if it's really hostile out here, then we'll just settle in there for the rest of our lives."
"Okay, except we have no costume-making skills nor materials, we have no clue where anyone is, we won't exactly reach Raisin Ruins until after we've gone through the rest of this giant planet, and also from what Garlude and the kids have shown us, the chance of being perpetually heckled by society and maybe being locked up for life definitely sounds preferable to living in that mess of a dimension for any amount of time."
"Yeah, you're right. It smells horrible in here, by the way. So, so smokey. And it sounds bad, too; like the van could go bust at any moment. Is this hunk of junk even gonna make it to that gas station down the road?"
"Oh trust me, Mikey. It'll take us well past that gas station. It'll make it past Nutty Noon, it'll make it all the way to that portal, and it'll keep making it for the rest of time!"
Within a second of Meta's proclamation, the van broke down and slowly skidded down part of the road with the front having completely fallen down.
"Or it'll do that," said a shaken and embarrassed Meta. "Well then, no better time than now to test our questions from earlier about 'reputation' and all that jazz," he said as he and Mikey unbuckled to walk to the gas station by foot and get some help to see if this thing was somehow salvageable. Good thing they had some money packed with them from some vault on Halberd Island.
The two walked into the dimly-lit gas station, named the Gassy Gasper, and were glad to see that not many people were in there. What was in there though was all sorts of random junk for them to rummage through en route to the mysterious auto repair guy up front.
As they started walking, they quickly got sidetracked by a display rack full of bizarre plush toys that were most likely homemade, and not the good kind. Crazily, one of the plushes included Meta's far more famous and beloved little nibling Kirby, who was almost as much an easily-marketable celebrity as they were a selfless hero.
"Oh hey, lil' Kirbo's really moving on up now, aren't they?" responded Mikey to a confused Meta. I should mention that while Meta's discovery of his relation to Kirby was very recent, as in mere days earlier when the Halberd sank (again, long story), it had been long enough that Mikey and much of the crew knew already.
They also saw plushies of a mythical species named the Spydeair, an odd floating spider-like being with silver hair, four eyes on each side of the head, and six floating hands among many other unique features. Meta and Mikey could vaguely recall seeing drawings on and hearing stories about these creatures and how they would live on a kingdom of little sky islands when they were younger, but the drawings were not very well-done; and as for the stories, it had been a long time since they heard them, the details they could recall were vague, and they were all from the drunken midnight ramblings of the lowest members of the Enemys of Common Sens that had made it a literal nightmare to sleep there, so take them with a pinch of salt.
Meta, looking at the plushies in both awe and confusion, simply started to ask, “Is it just me or does that stinger look a little l-”
“Oh, that’s us!” yelled Mikey in surprise.
Meta in response looked to a different part of the display to indeed see plushies of Mikey, Garlude, and one of himself.
“Yeah, they look a little shoddy, but still… at least they haven’t trashed them yet?” Mikey said unsure whether to be proud, worried, or confused.
Meanwhile Meta was tempted to take the lone plushie of himself both for the novelty of it and out of some strange pride of “making it”, even if that semblance of ego was what had just come so close to costing him everything. But then he noticed a little Waddle Dee kid right beside the rack looking at him in total awe and disbelief with a tiny replica of his mask on. He had no clue how to react until the kid got… something out.
“Wanya… Wanya! Wanya! Wanya!”
Waddle Dees don’t have mouths and while they can somehow let out noise, the only language they have is in “wanya”’s, a surprisingly easy language to learn. Meta had heard just enough of that language over the past few years to try and parse out what the kid had said.
“Are you… a fan of me?” he asked.
The kid emphatically nodded yes before focusing on the plushie still in Meta’s hand.
“Oh, did you want this?” Meta asked in surprise. The little Dee nodded yes, but seemed resigned to letting Meta have it and started walking away before Meta stopped them. “No, wait! I’ll give you it! I’ll even give you the money for it!”
He gave away just that to the kid, and neither the toy mask nor the absence of a mouth on them could stop Meta from sensing how happy they were. They skipped up to the counter behind them with just enough time to hear one last bit of advice from their idol.
“Don’t even think about doing any of the same stuff we do! Like that whole attempted conquest thing? Yeah, if it didn't work for us, then it definitely will not work out for you!”
Meta had no clue if the kid heard it or not, but he felt a sense of pride in that he was able to inspire and give joy to at least someone out there, even at his darkest hour.
“Shoot! I forgot to meet with them!” Mikey suddenly proclaimed from behind him.
Right at that moment, though, the kid was just headed out and waved to both of them, just so Mikey wasn’t left out.
“Aw, that was all sweet,” said Mikey. “So, anyway, don’t we kinda have a half-dozen people to be saving right now?”
“Right!” Meta proclaimed as they started getting to the auto repair counter and its main worker, the mean, big-looking Gassy Gasper himself (circular ghost-like guy with red cap on).
“This guy better not be as tough as he looks or else I might just take us all around by wing,” an intimidated Meta whispered.
“What? You can barely do that on your own now!” a frustrated Mikey responded. “How do you expect to be flying with ten of us on you by the end?”
“Well, we’ll just figure it out. It’d probably be preferable to taking oil and parts from a guy like that.”
“Man, you’re pathetic. How much more nervous can you get? If you do get any more intimidated, by the way, then I ain’t siding with you.”
But before the Gasper was in earshot, the door swung open again and in came some blue ball guy with nothing but eyes, gloved hands, shoes, and a small crown on.
“Oh, no! A royal!” Meta muttered as he went into panic again.
“OK, maybe that could cause issues if our images are as bad as we assume,” said a confused Mikey. “But at least we can try to get the repairs really quietly and squeak out of here undete-Holy grizzo, he has a wife and kid.”
Indeed a pink lady walked in who was practically identical to the blue guy, just with a big yellow bow on top and with eyelashes of course. They also had with them a much smaller yellow ball kid with a tinier crown and otherwise the same appearance. It didn’t take long to piece together how they were connected and what they did here so the two were already intimidated by their presence (bizarrely enough for how small and frankly cute they were) and that was before they started walking down to the auto repair counter from another aisle. And then the Gasper decided to make his presence known.
“Oh, hey! It’s the Knighty-Knights and the Royal Orbs!” he blurted out.
“Yep! Make a run,” Mikey uttered before he and Meta made a dash for the door. They rushed out in panic as the rulers watched in confusion and panic.
“No, wait! We’re here to help you!” the queen yelled to them.
“That’s what they all say!” Mikey said loudly. The two kept on dashing in a panic to the nearby jungle.
"Yeesh," the pink one said, "and I thought no fear could be more erratic than your hatred of eggs"
"Oh, you're really gonna try and downplay that?" the blue guy responded.
Meta and Mikey eventually got pretty deep into the jungle before catching their breaths.
“Did we lose ‘em?” asked Mikey.
“I don’t know, you really think those living bouncy balls on limbs are gonna catch up?” responded Meta before he looked to some strange giant fort nearby. “Now what on Popstar is that?”
That fort looked pretty old and in rough shape, and the two decided to take a peek into there both to get further away from the station and to see what was inside.
As they ventured into the cave, they saw nobody in the relative darkness and couldn’t hear anything besides the deafening silence. But they got curious anyway.
“Anyone in here?” they yelled out, not expecting any responses. But then a slight shimmer and hint of green came into view. And then it spoke.
“Just when I try to settle down, now someone tries to mess up my sleep,” a somewhat-familiar voice blurted out. “I’m just saying, you’ll regret waking me up!”
He then got up and started to charge towards the duo, but Meta recognized him just in time to stop him.
“Stabb! Uh… Sharp! It’s us! Meta and Mikey!”
Sure enough, the green-armored Sharp Stabb slowed down and recognized his superiors before chuckling.
“Yes! I knew you two could do it!” he remarked jubilantly. “I mean sure, you don’t have any of the others, but we’re gonna get there soon, right?”
“Yes, we will, Sharp,” said Mikey.
“Welcome back to the crew,” said Meta.
Stabb shook their hands before suddenly remembering something amiss.
“What about Point?” he asked, concerned about his purple-wearing, similarly sword-wielding older brother. “Did you two call him as well?”
“Yes, he did alongside all the others,” answered Meta. “But he seemed the only one who didn’t have a clue as to where he was.”
Then out of nowhere they heard screams from back near the gas station that did sound familiar to Meta and Mikey, but immediately provoked Sharp.
“Brother? I’m coming!”
All of a sudden, he sprinted out of the forest, and Meta and Mikey had no choice but to follow him back to the station, even if it meant potentially throwing themselves to the wolves of their unknown public standing.
The three of them scrambled through the jungle with hardly any idea of what would meet them on the other end, and Meta wanted to at least warn Sharp that the people there may or may not necessarily be happy to see them.
“Dude, this place’s rulers are over there!” Meta blurted out on the run. “Are you sure these people aren’t trying to, I don’t know, capture us or hunt us down one by one?”
“So you’re saying you wouldn’t try to save your brother from that fate even if that was true?” Sharp loudly asked in disgust, promptly shutting up Meta. However the only reason it didn’t slow down Meta was just how fast they were already going.
Soon enough, Meta, Mikey, and Sharp reached the end of the forest where they knew the Gassy Gasper would be, but they had no clue what else to expect waiting for them on the other end.
What they did see certainly wasn't that, but for once I don't mean that in a totally horrible way.
They saw that same Gasper from the counter working on the van with some other mechanics, promoting one simple response from Sharp.
"You came in that thing? Yeesh, this plan must be more slap-dashed than I thought."
"Well, I'd be prepared to clap back at that with some kind of past tense joke, but I think they might be fixing that thing," Meta remarked as he observed the repair work on the van.
But just as they started to process that, they turned their focus to a group of doctors helping the team's far less fuzzy warrior in purple, Point Stabb, who immediately noticed them and waved for them to come over. So they did exactly that and ran across the restricted road to him.
"'You doing alright, Point?" Sharp asked his brother, who was being held up by the doctors.
"Oh, don't worry about me guys," Point replied. "Was just jogging down here, tripped, fell, and then kind of wrecked my foot. But it's fine now! Just some more massaging from these medics who were conveniently waiting around when I arrived and I'll be good as n-EAUGHHH!"
The massaging had come a little too hard at that moment.
"Ugh… Mainly though, I'm so glad you're alright, Sharp!" Point continued. "I was so worried about you!'
"Aw thanks, Point," replied Sharp. "I'm perfectly alright though. I was able to survive in this big, abandoned fortress."
Hearing all this, Meta couldn't help but feel all bittersweet inside. He had recently found out about the passing of his older brother, although the actual event was ten years earlier, and that he never got to say goodbye. But now he could at least see two brothers among his crewmates reunite.
Then the royal ball family walked back towards them, and the welcome they got really wasn't what they saw coming.
"We are so sorry," the blue guy said. "We never wanted to intimidate you. Allow us to introduce ourselves. We're the royal family of Nutty Noon. I'm King Lololo, she's Queen Lalala, and here's our little son Prince Lulu."
"Mety Nights!" Lulu excitedly blurted out right after.
"Okay, but in all seriousness, the three of us are all big supporters of you guys. We appreciate how you always think outside the box to help save the day, and you all just seem really easy to root for and like."
"Aw, well, thanks for the compliments," a pleasantly surprised Meta replied.
"You're welcome!" Lalala said. "We were all for you helping to get rid of Queen Layor, but obviously the way you went about it didn't work."
"Yes, I definitely haven't forgotten about that by now."
"But that's made us want to help you out whenever we could. When we saw the broken van, we went into the gas station with the intention of getting you the best mechanics in the area. Same with the best doctors when you specifically came in and got hurt, Point. It really gave us a chance to help you guys out, and we wish you nothing but the best of luck finding everyone else."
Meta, floored at this level of support for him and the team, was nearly speechless.
"Well, um, thank you so much for… all of this. This welcome is as far from what I expected as it could have possibly been.
Within a few more minutes, the Gasper and his team were done fixing the van while the doctors were done massaging Point's foot and had applied some small bandages to it. He could definitely walk, but now Sharp had to take over from his older brother as the main B-Teamer for now, and he supported him through it.
As the four walked to the van, they passed by the Gasper, who gave his own parting words to them:
"Knight Knight, don't let the Burts bite."
"Well, I guess we won't," Meta answered before whispering to the others, "Assuming the Burt Spray doesn't blow up our vehicle again", and getting some laughs.
Meta got in and took the wheel, with Mikey riding shotgun and the Stabbs in the back; and it was instantly clear that these mechanics were the real deal. The van actually drove smoothly, smelling and sounding good. It also had all sorts of unearthed features, including now both heaters and air-conditioners in the back, which, considering that all but two of them were gonna be in there the whole journey, was definitely a great call.
Soon enough, Meta had his backup keys in and his small foot somehow on the pedal; and he drove off with everyone there waving goodbye. He had many things going through his mind at the moment, but there were two main thoughts. The first?
"Maybe this ride will be as smooth as an eight-year morning stroll."
And the other?
"Hey, maybe we won't be at risk of getting blown up every month after all. Who knows?"
And so that van drove off into the sunset, ready to cross the small lakes to the rest of Nutty Noon and beyond.
Nobody ever noticed that the rudder was broken as well, by the way.