Chapter Text
Do we really have to stay the night? In a tent?" Kathy grumbles, making no attempts to hide her frustration as she watches Elliot unload the truck by himself.
Elliot looks back and sees her standing behind him, arms crossed, a sour look on her face and it takes all of his willpower not to snap at her. He told her over and over again that if she didn't want to come she didn't have to. If he's honest, he was hoping she would take the out so he could come alone. Things have been rocky between them lately and seeing Olivia always sets Kathy on edge in a way that seems to go on for days.
"Kath, I told you you didn't have to come if you didn't want to." Elliot huffs, picking up the ice chest and walking towards the campsite, not waiting for her to follow. "If you don't wanna stay I'll catch a ride back with Liv."
Kathy glares at him from behind but she but doesn't say anything. "Liv"... Her stomach turns every time he calls her by her nickname. There's not a chance in hell she's leaving him to spend the next two days alone with Olivia.
The couple walks together through the tree line and Elliot smiles as they get closer to the lake. There's loud music playing and as he scans the campsite he sees nearly all of his coworkers, some sitting in lawn chairs, others barbecuing or playing in the lake. The intensity that's always present in the squad room is gone, everyone appears relaxed in the warm haze of the afternoon sun.
Elliot scans the shoreline looking for Olivia, a small smile on his face when he finds her. He saw her yesterday, they had had a late dinner together after they closed a rough case, but he realizes as he watches her throw her head back laughing, that he had missed her.
He waves to her, ignoring Kathy's glare. Olivia smiles and much to Kathy's dismay, walks over to greet them.
"Hey! It's so good to see you guys." She says warmly, "Lunch isn't quite ready but I can grab you guys drinks?"
"I'm fine." Kathy says flatly, less than pleased to be spending time with Olivia, and even less pleased with her choice of wardrobe. The black cover up dress isn't doing much covering up and her white string bikini peeks out of the top, drawing your eyes to her breasts. Kathy's surprised Elliot's able to keep his tongue in his mouth.
Elliot accepts a beer gratefully as Olivia shows them both around the campground. As he follows shortly behind her, he realize's he's not listening to a word she's said. Seeing his partner outside of their normal element has thrown him off. They've been partners for four years, Elliot would even readily admit that Olivia is his best friend, but this is something different entirely.
Olivia has a different presence about her.. All of her usual confidence, but she has a carefree smile on her face and Elliot can't help but lean into it.
He wants to know this version of her better, more intimately.
Kathy mumbles something about finding the bathroom and Elliot and Olivia continue their walk around the campsite.
Olivia displays an abundance of patience as Elliot searches for the "perfect" campsite. She has a small smirk on her face as she watches him, knowing all too well that interrupting his process will only make the entire ordeal longer. Elliot finds a spot and begins to set up their tent. Olivia offers help, taking some of the tent poles from him.
"Kathy seems... Less than thrilled to be here." Olivia says carefully, watching Elliot closely.
He chuckles. "Noticed that, did you?"
"I am a detective..." She says with a smirk.
Elliot watches her over the top of the tent for a moment, trying hard not to read into the smirk on her face. "What can I say, Liv? Not everyone's as psyched to spend time with me as you are." He says, looking back to the tent spike in his hands.
Olivia smiles, her cheeks tinged red with embarrassment as they go back to setting up the tent. She had thought she had done a good job of tempering her excitement when Elliot showed up but clearly she had been more obvious than she intended. It's completely innocent, she tells herself, he's her partner, and her best friend, of course she was excited to see him.
They finish setting up the tent and wander back towards the main campground to find Kathy again.
The conversation is awkward as Kathy gives short answers, working hard not to participate in the conversation happening between Elliot and Olivia.
"Oh! Kathy, you should meet my boyfriend, Danny. He works at a precinct in the Bronx but he was an EMT out of Lennox Hill for awhile! Elliot was telling me you're staring there soon?" Olivia asks curiously.
Elliot cringes at the mention of Olivia's boyfriend. They've been together about six months and he's so far avoided meeting him, always managing to come up with a something to be doing when he drops by the precinct. Much like he had hoped Kathy would not want to join him for the precincts campout, he had hoped Danny wouldn't either.
"Oh, yeah, it would be nice to meet him." Kathy says with a forced smile She watches Olivia for a moment and she feels her frustration and impatience for the woman growing. She hates her unassuming smile and the way she seems to exist so confidently. Kathy wants so badly to have a reason to hate Olivia but she's never been anything but lovely, a fact that infuriates her.
It has also become very clear that Olivia is not as temporary as Kathy had hoped.
Olivia waves her boyfriend over and he walks up, putting an arm around her waist possessively, and introducing himself.
Elliot looks him up and down and tries to hide his smirk. He's unimpressed, and if his reputation is any indicator, that feeling is not bound to go away. Olivia could do better. Worlds better.
Danny reaches forward to shake his hand and Elliot gives him a stiff and reluctant handshake.
"it's nice to meet you, Olivia talks a lot about you." Danny says, standing up a little bit straighter when he sees how tall Elliot is.
Whenever they're together and talking about their days it always Elliot this and Elliot that, he would be an idiot not to be wary of him.
Elliot smirks as he watches Danny stand up straighter. No amount of posturing will make him up for the inch's Elliot has on him.
There's a palpable tension between the two couples as they settle into a rather uncomfortable silence. Both Danny and Kathy look for an excuse to separate the two partners but they've already set drinks down on a table, insistent on eating lunch together.
The four of them sit down and things are still less than comfortable.
"So Danny, are you in homicide or?..." Elliot asks.
"No, I work a beat." He says, taking a sip of beer.
Olivia shoots him a look from across the table that he knows means "stop" but he ignores her and presses on.
Elliot nods his head, "Nothing wrong with that."
"Yeah, didn't say there was." Danny says defensively.
"You got your eye on anything?" Elliot pokes at him.
"So, Kathy, Elliot told me you passed your exam, that means you're officially a nurse?" Olivia interrupts, giving Elliot a nudge with her foot under the table.
Elliot smiles and takes a bite of his sandwich when he feels Olivia kick him. He grins through the mouthful of food at Olivia's glare. He just couldn't help himself.
"It's official, I start in a week." Kathy says, pushing at her food with her fork. She's grown tired of watching Elliot and Olivia share looks she doesn't quite understand.
The rest of their lunch conversation is pleasant enough but Elliot has been watching for the last ten minutes as Olivia looks around for an excuse to leave. He doesn't blame her, it's evident that Kathy would rather be anywhere else and Danny is barely willing to look him in the eye.
Casey approaches the table and Olivia breathes a sigh of relief. "We're setting up a volleyball net in the lake, anyone wanna play?"
Olivia grins, "Sounds great, Danny?"
Danny shrugs, "Not really my thing, you have fun though." Olivia looks a bit disappointed as he gives her a peck on the lips and goes back to his food.
Casey turns her attention to Elliot and Kathy, waiting for any answer.
"El?" Olivia says with an inviting smile.
"I didn't bring a bathing suit." Kathy says, giving Elliot a look that he knows means he's supposed to say no too.
He looks at her for a moment, contemplating his next moves carefully. He knew this was going to happen, Kathy wasn't going to enjoy their day which means he wouldn't be able to either. But he's grown tired of this pattern and he's not about let it ruin another event.
"You know what? That sounds fun." He says, finishing his beer, "We playing teams?"
Casey grins and the three of them walk towards the lake.
Elliot strips his shirt over his head, tossing it on a nearby picnic table, just in time to see Olivia doing the same. He feels his breath hitch as she pulls the sundress over her head, revealing a white string bikini.
Her olive skin glistens in the sun and and her long tan legs seem to go on for miles. Her hair falls down her back in waves and Elliot watches as she shakes it out with her fingers, entirely unaware that she's just made his entire world stop spinning.
Elliot feels Casey elbow him as she laughs. "Got a good enough look?" She snorts as she walks into the water.
Her comment makes Elliot cheeks flush red and he looks around to confirm that no one else had watched him breathlessly ogle Olivia as she stripped down to her bikini.
"Hey, El!" Olivia calls out, walking to meet him, "You wanna be on my team?"
"Always..." He chuckles, eyes facing forward so there's no chance Olivia herself will catch him staring, "But I'm warning you now, I play to win."
Olivia laughs, "Somehow that doesn't surprise me."
They wade out into the lake, the water lapping at their waists as they take their place on the other side of the net. They're teamed up with Casey and another lawyer they vaguely recognize, playing against some of the uniformed officers.
The game starts and Elliot is less than surprised to find out that not only is Olivia nearly as competitive as he is, she's better too.
The game goes on for hours, all four of them diving every which way in the water as the evening sun beats down on their shoulders. They manage to hit the ball every so often, and score points on occasion, but no one seems to care much. Not a minute passes without a smile on their faces or a laugh as they fumble the ball around.
Elliot watches Olivia, mesmerized by the way she moves in the world, with such grace and so sure of herself... Her laugh warms him just as well as the sun, and he wonders if anyone else in the world smiles as well as she does.
Although their game started out with a bit of focus, for the last hour they've been less than focused on getting the ball over the net, and more on making sure that the other doesn't get to touch it. They made good partners, but as soon as they figured out it was more fun to tease each other the game quickly fell apart; nothing could be helped after Elliot saw how hard it made Olivia laugh when he dove in front of her to block her shot.
"Alright, alright, what do we say next point wins the game?" Officer Mendez calls out from the other side of the net.
"Let's make it interesting..." Casey says, "Last round we play chicken."
Everyone looks at her and she rolls her eyes. "Like the pool game? We sit on each other's shoulders?"
The team agrees and Olivia looks to Elliot immediately, "You better not drop me, Stabler..."
"Oh what? Now you don't trust me?" He teases her.
Olivia laughs at him, shaking her head a little bit, and he locks his fingers together, making a step for her. She puts her foot in his hand and pushes herself up on his shoulders, swinging her leg over, sitting comfortably on top of his shoulders. She wavers a little bit and Elliot reaches both hands up and grabs her thighs, holding her steady.
The confidence with which he grabs her surprises Olivia, and so does the fact that he doesn't let go. His hands grip the tops of her thighs, strong and steady as her heart beats a little faster in her chest at his touch.
"You good up there?" He asks. He hadn't thought about it, he wasn't going to let her fall, but it occurred to him when she went quiet that this is as intimate of a touch as they've ever shared.
"Good, ready to win!" Olivia smiles, one hand resting on top of Elliot's head to keep her balance as he takes his place next to Casey and her partner.
The ball gets passed back and forth a couple times until Olivia reaches too far for it, missing, and toppling both of them over. They crash into the water, her legs still hooked over his shoulders. It takes Elliot a moment to untangle them, finally grabbing one of Olivia's ankles and tossing it over his head so he can stand up. He shakes his head at her as he offers her hand and pulls her out of the water.
He can't even pretend to be irritated with her as she giggles a "Sorry..." and climbs back up onto his shoulders, still laughing. Olivia scores the last point, winning them the game and she high fives Casey as they celebrate.
Elliot reaches back and grabs Olivia by her waist, helping her down. Her feet have been firmly planted on the ground for a moment and Elliot still has a hold of her waist. He pulls his hands back the second he realizes but it's already too late, Olivia noticed and he's sure other people did too.
"Thanks, for the help." She says with a sort of timid smile he doesn't recognize.
"Yeah, yeah, of course." He says quickly, "I uh.. I need a drink..."
Olivia laughs, "You and me both." He breathes a sigh of relief that she doesn't seem too offput as he follows her out of the water.
Olivia fights the urge to look back at him, unsure of what that moment in the water meant. She can still feel his hands on her hips, warm, steady, and settled against her skin like they belonged there. She had felt herself lean in as he held her and it takes all of her willpower to keep her cheeks from burning red. What was she thinking?
Elliot passes her a drink and she takes it gratefully, happy to have anything to distract them. He gives no hints that he noticed the way she had leaned into him. Only he had, and he can't figure out whether or not he imagined it. Maybe it was just wishful thinking...
They find seats near Munch and Fin and are happy to melt into the background of the chaos and have a couple drinks. Elliot looks around for Kathy and doesn't see her. And as he downs another beer he knows he should go look for her but he doesn't want to. He stays firmly planted in his seat next to Olivia, half tuned in to the conversation happening around them.
He feels the buzz at the base of skull getting stronger as the sun sets over the lake. He watches Olivia talk animatedly about something and he can't help but smile. He's not quite sure what she's talking about but the sound of her voice puts him at ease. He could listen to her for hours.
It occurs to him as he watches his partner that he doesn't feel this way around Kathy. Her presence doesn't put him at ease, not in the same way that Olivia's does. He doesn't feel the same pull in his body to be closer to her the way he does with Olivia.
If he's honest with himself, he's known for awhile that he prefers Olivia's company to Kathy's but he had chalked it up to a rough patch and something he would get over. The longer he sits here with her, the clearer it becomes that this feeling isn't a fleeting one.
He knows now that he has never felt about anyone the way he feels about Olivia. As he looks at her now, hair still have wet and wavy from the salty water, cheeks pink from their day in the sun, and a smile on her face as she laughs with their friends, he knows he would do anything to be closer to her, he would give up everything.
"Hellooo, Earth to Elliot..." Olivia says, nudging him with her elbow.
"Hmm?" He mumbles, sitting up a little straighter, afraid that she and everyone else have suddenly gained the ability to read his mind.
"I asked if you wanted dinner, the foods ready?" She asks, a smile on her face as she watches him. He'd looked almost sleepy as he sat back in his chair, completely checked out of everything going on around them.
"Dinner, yeah I could eat." He says, pushing himself out of the beach chair.
Olivia grabs two plates and begins to make his for him, knowing exactly what he'll want. She passes it back to him and he trades her a plate for the drink he's poured her with a smile on his face.
They make their way back to their friends and more people have joined them. Olivia pushes her chair closer to Elliot to make space. Elliot sits next to her happily and Olivia watches him for a moment, a soft smile on her face.
They had had fun together today in a way that they hadn't before. Seeing Elliot so.. uninhibited, so happy... It warms her in a way she can't explain.
She cares for him in a way that can't be explained by their partnership, something she's come to terms with lately. But today has undone all the progress she's made in moving on from the "crush" she's had on Elliot.
They'd been quick friends when she was assigned to SVU, and he made her feel safe in a way she wasn't used to. She would have been hard pressed to admit it, but she was attracted to him. At first it felt like a harmless crush, Elliot was an attractive man, and they spent long days and nights together, it was predictable. She thought she'd shake it after awhile, after all it's not like there was a chance. He had always been with Kathy.
And she had moved on... Or at least she thought she had.
"Right, Liv?" He asks, looking back at her.
"Hmm?" She mumbles bringing her drink to her lips to hide her embarrassment. She had been caught staring at him, she was sure of it.
"I was telling Casey about that perp you took down last week. Tackled him right into the water." He laughs, "It was awesome..."
Olivia laughs. Elliot had let a uni pull their perp out of the water in favor of helping her out of the creek, a sweet gesture followed immediately by incessant teasing about the leaves in her hair. "Hey, it's not like you could catch him."
Elliot laughs at her. "You've got a point there..."
He goes back to his story and Olivia watches him intently as he tells it... Smiling at the more than dramatic retelling of their latest case. The alcohol has warmed her cheeks and she's exhausted from the hours spent in the sun and she fights the urge to rest her head on Elliot's shoulder and close her eyes. She blinks away the thought quickly, knowing no matter how tired or how tipsy she is that that thought is one that needs to be tucked away and never spoken of. But God, she wants nothing more than to rest her eyes and listen to him tell stories that leave a faint smile on her face.
As she listens to him now, his voice warm and full of laughter, she knows that no one in the world brings her more comfort than he does. He's not talking to her but it doesn't matter.
Olivia smiles as she watches him, blue eyes sparkling as he laughs so hard it shakes both of their chairs. All she wants in this life is to be able to make him laugh like that forever.
And with that thought, she looks around the campground for Danny, knowing it's probably time for her to go to bed. She sees him laughing with his friends across the bonfire, clearly not looking for her. It hurts her feelings that he doesn't seem to care that they haven't so much as spoken in the last couple hours, but that fact is her fault just as much as it is his.
She shivers as the nighttime breeze changes direction, a chill running down her spine, and Elliot looks over at her. "You okay?" He whispers.
"Just cold..." She says, forcing a smile.
"Want my jacket?" He asks, beginning to pull it off.
"No, no, I'm okay." Olivia says quickly, "The wet bathing suit probably isn't doing me any favors, I'm going to go change."
She stands up, surprised when Elliot follows.
"It's dark, I don't want you walking through the trees by yourself." He says, following closely behind her.
He watches her as she takes careful steps in the dark, walking through the small patch of forest before they get to the parking lot.
It's quiet in the way that only the woods are, the sound of the crickets chirping and the rustle of leaves as the wind blows, but otherwise silent. Olivia's quiet as she walks in front of him.
Elliot watches as Olivia uses one hand to steady herself on the side of Danny's car, slipping her bathing suit bottoms off under her dress and tossing them aside. She pulls a pair of panties out of a bag and begins to pull them on under her dress.
Elliot turns away quickly, "You want me to stand behind the truck or something?"
Olivia lets out a drunk giggle, "Come on, Stabler, since when are you shy?"
Elliot shakes his head, a guilty smile on his face. She has to know what she's doing to him...
"You can turn around now..." Olivia says, throwing her bathing suit top into the back of the car.
She rubs both of her arms, trying to bring warmth back into them as Elliot turns to look at her. He can't help but smile at her. He's seen a different side of her today, and it's knocked his world off it's axis.
Everything he thought he knew about himself and their partnership, has all been ripped away from him.
Olivia takes a couple steps towards him, stumbling in the dirt and Elliot catches her by the arms, holding her up. She's a inch from his face and they're both frozen. Olivia bats her eyelashes at him, her big brown eyes searching his...
He leans in every so slightly and so does she, their lips meeting in a gentle and sort of timid kiss.
Elliot hesitates for a moment, but Olivia doesn't. She wraps her arms around his neck and leans deeper into the kiss, her tongue parting his lips and inviting him in.
Elliot backs her up against his truck, her bare skin meeting cold metal as he moves in closer, his hips squared against hers. He puts an arm around her waist, and grabs a handful of her ass. He feels Olivia give into him and he lifts her off the ground, and she wraps her legs around his waist, putting her just a head above him.
She caresses his face as she relishes in the way it feels to be kissed by him. Elliot does something with his tongue that makes her absolutely melt into him, letting out a moan. "Oh, Elliot..."
Her moan is his undoing. He can't hide his arousal anymore, and he knows that with that way they're pressed up against each other that Olivia can feel it. "Oh God, Liv..." He moans against her lips, intoxicated by the smell of her.
Olivia pulls away from him, hands still holding his face to catch her breath.
"We can't, El..." She says weakly, knowing that if she looks him in the eyes it'll all be over.
"Give me one good reason..." Elliot says, hardly focusing on her words as nibbles at her neck.
"Kathy... and Danny..." She whispers.
"I said a good reason..." Elliot says gruffly, making his way up her neck and her chin until his lips are on hers once again.
"It's not fair to them..." Olivia says, her weak protests not deterring Elliot in the slightest.
"I don't care about them..." Elliot grumbles, "This is about us."
"Elliot." She says, with a seriousness that stops him in his tracks.
Elliot lets her down gently and backs off of her. He tucks a wild piece of hair behind her ear for her and looks down at her seriously. "What is it, Liv?"
She looks up at him, big brown eyes as wide as he's ever seen them. "I know it's not about Danny, so what is it?" He presses.
Olivia's shocked by the confidence with which he speaks, even more stunned by how well he knows her. He's backed her into a corner and called out her weak attempt at putting space between them.
"El, I --" She falters. "I can't lose you, Elliot."
Elliot cracks a gentle smile as he looks at his partner. "You're never in danger of that, Liv..." He says his thumb stroking her cheek gently and lovingly.
His tender touch is enough to maker her resolve melt away.
He moves back in to kiss her and this time she lets him. She lets herself be pulled back into his arms and she feels herself smile against his lips.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me." Someone says, loudly enough that Elliot and Olivia spring apart, knowing that they've been caught.
Olivia's heart sinks when she sees Danny and Kathy staring at them. She wipes away Elliot's last kiss, embarrassed as her boyfriend stares at her in disbelief.
"You son of a bitch." Kathy says, shaking her head. "I knew it, I fucking knew it."
Kathy walks towards Elliot and he reaches out for her hand, but she plants her hands firmly on his chest, shoving him backwards, letting him stumble in the dirt.
"For four fucking years, it's been Olivia this, and Liv that! You promised me you weren't fucking her..." She rages.
"Kathy we haven't -- We weren't--" Olivia stutters.
"Oh shut up." Kathy says, shaking her head angrily, hot tears rolling down her cheeks, "Like I would ever believe you."
"Kath--" Elliot starts.
"No. Uh-uh. I'm done, Elliot." She says shaking her head.
Olivia had been so preoccupied watching Elliot's relationship fall apart that she almost forgot Danny was standing in front of her. "Danny I--"
"You know what, Olivia? I don't wanna hear it." He says angrily, "People warned me about you. About him. But I didn't listen."
He turns to leave but Olivia chases after him, grabbing his arm. "Danny, please, wait..." She begs.
"No!" He turns and yells at her. Olivia shrinks backwards when she sees the looked of pure rage in his eyes, "You do not get to bat your eyelashes and make this go away! I ignored the way you looked at him because I wanted to believe you weren't what people said you were! I loved you!"
Elliot looks at his own very angry, now ex-girlfriend, and then to Olivia and Danny. He sees the tears in Olivia's eyes and guilt settles into the pit of his stomach. He had written off Olivia and Danny's relationship as quickly as he had his own, but it's clear Danny matters more to Olivia than he had thought. He glances back at Kathy and he knows without a doubt that they're done. But maybe he can still salvage Olivia's relationship for her.
"Danny, she's drunk, man. She doesn't know what she's doing." Elliot says quickly, "She didn't kiss me, I kissed her. This isn't on her..."
Danny shakes his head.
"Come on, man. Don't blame her for this. If you want to be mad, be mad at me." Elliot says reluctantly, nauseous at the idea of pushing her back into Danny's arms.
"Danny, please." Olivia says gently, her voice breaking as she reaches out for him, "Danny, don't do this."
"No, Olivia." Danny says angrily, shaking his head. "This ones on me. Everyone warned me."
"Danny, what are you talking about?" Olivia asks quietly, the heartbreak evident in her voice.
"They told me you were a whore." Danny says, his tone pointed and nasty as he looks Olivia in the eyes, "Everybody knows you slept your way to the top... That instructor in the academy? And everyone in the goddamn NYPD knows about Benson and Stabler, solving sex crimes and fucking on the side. I should've listened, then I wouldn't have wasted six months of my life on someone too broken to love me back."
"You don't get to talk about her like that." Elliot says angrily, taking a step towards him.
"What are you gonna do about it, Stabler?" Danny sneers at him.
Without missing a beat Elliot throws a punch that hits him square in the jaw, knocking him off balance.
Danny takes a drunk swing back at Elliot and misses, the weight of his own body behind his fist, making him stumble forward. Elliot's drunk and angry and he takes Danny's swing back as an invitation and hits him again, knocking him into the dirt.
"Elliot, stop!" Olivia yells at him, trying to pull him off of Danny but not nearly strong enough to outdo Elliot in his drunken rage.
"What the hell are you doing?" Fin barks, surprising everyone as he jogs through the walking path. "Goddamnit, Stabler."
Fin pulls Elliot off of Danny and Olivia tries to help him out of the dirt but he pushes her away.
"I'm fucking done with you." He spits, wiping the blood from his nose with his hand, "You two deserve each other."
Everyone watches in silence as Danny pulls Olivia's bag out of his car and throws her clothes in the dirt while she cries into her hand.
He pulls open the drivers door and looks back at everyone and Olivia takes a step towards him, a pleading look in her eyes.
"Do you need a ride?" Danny asks, looking past her to Kathy.
Kathy looks at Elliot, waiting for him to beg her to stay, to work things out, but his eyes are firmly fixed on his crying partner.
Kathy walks past him, silent tears rolling down her face as she climbs into Danny's car.
They drive away, leaving a cloud of dust around Fin, Elliot, and Olivia.
"I'm sorry, Liv." Elliot says quietly, pulling her into a gentle hug as she cries. "Fuck, I'm sorry."
Fin looks at him, bewildered and Elliot shakes his head a little bit over Olivia's shoulder. Her face is tucked into his neck as she cries and he rubs her back gently.
"I got it." He mouths to Fin, willing him to go away so he can talk to Olivia.
Fin shakes his head at them and begins to walk away. He had heard the fighting on his way to the bathroom and had expected a group of drunk uni's. The last thing he expected was a crying, drunk Olivia, and Elliot duking it out with what he can only assume is now her ex-boyfriend.
He glances over his shoulder as he walks back through the trees and sees Elliot, whispering to Olivia as he holds her, nuzzling her cheek with his face. He can't say he's surprised.
Elliot waits for Fin to disappear out of his line of sight before he looks back down at Olivia.
"I'm sorry, Liv..." He whispers against her skin, "I just, I lost it when he started talking about you like that..."
Olivia doesn't respond, but she's still holding tight to him and he takes that as a good sign.
"God, Liv, I don't even know what to say..." He sighs.
Olivia picks her head up and forces herself to take a deep breath, pulling away from Elliot as she wipes her eyes.
"I'm fine, I'm fine..." She says, eyes closed as she takes a deep breath, working hard not to burst into tears again.
"Liv--" Elliot starts.
"Elliot, I'm fine." She says, more forcefully than she means to.
"Okay, you're fine." He says, watching his partner, who is anything but fine, wipe her eyes as she wills herself not to cry.
He doesn't say anything as Olivia looks at him with bleary eyes and a defeated look on her face. He fights the urge to pull her back into his arms again.
"We made a mistake." She says quietly, "Let's not turn it into a bigger one."
Olivia stands in front of him now, barefoot in her sundress, her hair in waves, close enough to count the freckles that dot the bridge of her nose. He's never wanted anything as badly as he wants to know this version of her, to take care of her, and comfort her in a way that he hasn't previously been allowed.
"Can we just start over? Forget it ever happened?" She pleads.
It makes his heart sink to hear her call their first kiss a mistake. Because it hadn't been one. At least not for him.
But Elliot knows her well enough to know that pushing will make Olivia disappear faster than humanely possible.
"Okay, Liv..." He says quietly, pulling her back in for a hug, "Whatever you say."
Olivia closes her eyes and rests her head against his chest, feeling the warmth of his body, and she takes a shaky breath in. It doesn't matter how badly she wants him, or how much comfort she feels in his arms in this moment, her track record does not suggest that anything between them would end less than tragically.
The two partners separate themselves and Elliot begins to pick up Olivia's things. He grabs her bag from the spot that it landed in after Danny threw it from his car and he gives Olivia a soft smile.
"Come on..." He says, nodding his head towards the campsite.
"I just want to go home." Olivia says in a small and sad voice that breaks Elliot's heart.
"Neither one of us can drive tonight, Liv." Elliot says gently, "Let's sleep it off... I'll drive you home in the morning."
Olivia nods her head and Elliot puts his free arm around her, walking her back through the trees.
"Not our best night, huh?" He says with a half smile, trying to lighten the mood.
Olivia lets out a small laugh. "That's an understatement."
Elliot puts Olivia's things inside the tent and they look at each other, both uncertain and feeling a little bit awkward.
"Just like sleeping in the cribs..." Elliot says with a forced smile.
Olivia glances at the other tents around them and bites her lip. "What are people going to say in the morning, El?" She asks quietly, "You heard Danny, everyone already thinks--"
"Who cares what anyone else thinks, Olivia?" Elliot says seriously, "We know what we are to each other."
Olivia looks at him skeptically for a moment.
"Look, Liv, it's late, it's been a long night." Elliot says, running a a hand over his face, "You don't have to bunk with me if you don't want to but I'm pretty sure you I don't wanna try to crash with Munch or Fin. I'm going to sleep."
Elliot climbs into the tent and Olivia rolls her eyes, following him in. She zips the tent closed behind herself and watches as he rolls out the camping pads, intentionally putting a bit of space between them, but severely limited by the small size of the two person tent.
Olivia drops to her knees and turns her back to Elliot, stripping the sundress over her head and Elliot holds his breath as he watches her quietly.
She sits back on her heels, her hair hitting her bare back just below her shoulder blades, as she pulls a sweatshirt over her head. She crawls into the makeshift bed Elliot had put together moments ago in her oversized NYPD sweatshirt and her underwear, pulling the blanket up under her chin as she lays facing him.
"I'm sorry, El." She whispers.
Elliot gives her a sad smile as he looks at the outline of her face in the dark. "Me too, Liv."
Olivia looks at Elliot with tired eyes and a sad smile that makes him want to pull her back into his arms and soothe her every fear, but he doesn't.
Elliot closes his eyes, unable to look at her any longer.
Olivia lays quietly for a second and watches him. She thinks about their kiss, how it had felt before they had been caught. She had felt... so small wrapped up in his arms as he lifted her off the ground with ease. His kiss had set her on fire and she loved the way his hands felt on her skin. He was so sure of himself and she trusted him to lead the way.
She had seen the way his face fell when she said they had made a mistake. She hadn't meant it, not really...
She is just so damn scared of losing him... What would she do if she had to go to work everyday and he wasn't there?
Olivia closes her eyes and forces herself to take a deep breath. She's thinking a million miles an hour and years ahead, but what about right now?
She opens her eyes and she looks at Elliot for a moment longer.
"El?" She whispers breathily.
"What is it, Liv?" Elliot asks quietly, not opening his eyes.
"What if we started over in the morning?" She asks timidly.
Elliot opens his eyes and looks at her for a moment. Without speaking he lifts up his blanket, holding it open for her to lay to next to him.
Olivia scoots over and curls into Elliot's body, her head resting on his arm as he pulls the blanket around both of them. Elliot pulls her in even closer to his body and she stretches an arm over his chest, settling into his arms.
Olivia's eyes are heavy and her body is exhausted. Elliot's touch is a kind of comfort she's never known before and it's only a few minutes before she gives into sleep, her breathing slow and rhythmic.
Elliot watches her chest rise and fall in the dark and replays the days events over and over again in his head.
His relationship of nearly ten years had ended in the blink of an eye and he hadn't even tried to save it. He had fought harder to save Olivia's than his own. He should be sad, devastated even, but he's not.
He and Olivia had shared moments of intimacy today that had made him feel more alive and more in love than any moment he had shared with Kathy in the last decade.
And as he looks at her now, her face an inch from his as she sleeps peacefully tucked into his body, he knows for certain than it's her and only her.
Elliot gently strokes her face, "I love you, Liv..." He whispers.
He settles back into his pillow and closes his eyes. He pulls her in just a bit closer and places a gentle kiss on the top of her head.
Elliot knows all too well that nothing is guaranteed with Olivia, the walls she has up and her fears about the future may prove an insurmountable task, but he knows without a doubt that he loves her more than he's ever loved anyone, and that has to count for something.