Archive of Our Own

"Hey," the younger said as the older kissed his shoulder blade. The room was cold because of the air conditioner but every kiss that lands on the younger's skin sends a different kind of kiss, "stop it. We have to leave early later."

Hyunwoo snaked his arm around Kihyun's waist to pull him closer, "Just one more."

"Babe, I'm sore." Spending the whole night with Hyunwoo inside a hotel room has always been so intense. Maybe it's because they don't always have the time for each other, or maybe they just crave each other so much that they can't keep their hands off to themselves. 

Kihyun moaned when Hyunwoo's hand slowly travelled from his waist up to his chest. The night isn't over yet, he thought before he turned around to face Hyunwoo.

He watches Hyunwoo dry his hair with a towel in hand, the clock says it's 16 minutes past 6 in the morning. Their breakfast came while the older one was taking a shower. Kihyun placed it on the table near the room's small kitchen.

"Your flight is at 10?" He asked.

Hyunwoo hanged the towel on his shoulder and came closer to Kihyun, his aftershave's scent lingering around him, "Yup," he planted a kiss on the younger's temple before sitting down on the adjacent chair. "You leave tomorrow night?"

"Hm," he gave him a nod while sipping his morning coffee, "can't let the media get a hint."

Their relationship revolved around running away, meeting in secrets, like foxes trying to hide from the hunters, trying to save their own lives. It has been hard but being together like this makes it all... a little less difficult.

Kihyun continued to watch the other as Hyunwoo munched down the food he ordered. He's always been a heavy eater despite the limits on his weight because of his work so Kihyun makes sure he eats a lot when they're together. Just like what they always say, this relationship will always be their escape from reality. 

"How about the gift I gave you?"

Hyunwoo won a bonsang last week with his group so Kihyun got him a Rolex as a gift which the former really liked.

"You know, right?"

Ah, of course. Kihyun smiled widely as he understood what Hyunwoo meant. The other smiled apologetically and reached for his hand, giving it a soft squeeze, "You can just send it to the company as a fan gift."

"Fan gift, sure." Like the gifts prior to this one, he must send it as a fan gift so no one will know, so no one will notice.

The way they must hide everything makes it seem like what they have is just a product of their imagination. A sweet daydream in the middle of a chaotic day but... there will come a time that they have to wake up from this and that's what Kihyun fears.

Kihyun was already waiting at the lobby, reading the current reports on stocks while waiting for Hyunwoo to come down with his team so he could see him off, secretly. At the same moment, a familiar person sat on the couch next to his. He decided to ignore him instead instead of giving him attention that he definitely likes. Kihyun doesn’t really have an exact reason why he gets so annoyed at this person, he’s just… annoyed? Even without this person doing anything, or maybe it’s his smirk? 

He focused on his iPad when he saw Hyunwoo stepping out of the elevator, hyperaware, he waited for Hyunwoo to get in the van before he raised his head.

“The only links you should like are cufflinks, not serious… links.”

Yoo remained silent when he heard the side comment.

“Your eye candy looks like trouble.”

Kihyun locked his iPad, ready to leave instead of spending time here just to be annoyed, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Minhyuk chuckled, slightly removing his sunglasses, “I’m sure you do.” he winked.

Still pretending to be clueless, Kihyun walked away. That guy probably doesn't know anything, he's just trying to taunt me because if he gets a weird response from me, it’s like getting a direct answer and I’m not giving him that. He was here to have a vacation, not to get stressed about unimportant people.

Kihyun massaged his forehead after reading the articles Secretary Im sent him. The issues have been going around for quite some time and he instructed everyone to just ignore it. When loud mouths are put up against silence, they tend to give up. However, the loud mouths became even louder. Too loud to ignore because even investors are contacting him due to the effects of these issues to the company's stocks. 

---

[CEO Yoo found in a yacht date with Shownu from NBZ]

[Married Shownu and a CEO caught in an affair]

[Pictures of a well-known and respected CEO with a married man scatters around the internet]

[Multiple dates? Long term affair? CEO and Idol can no longer deny the accusations of their affair.]

---

 

"Can we still deny this?" He asked Im Changkyun who was standing in front of his desk.

The latter grinned, pushing his glasses back, "You can't deny this anymore, Sir. Pictures are uploaded, we try to take them down, but everyone keeps reuploading and besides, it is true." 

Kihyun's jaw clenched. Right, it is true. It is stupid but it is true. An affair, holy shit . Never did he ever think of being involved with an affair. It is disgusting, a very stupid move, and something not worthy of losing one's dignity.

But Shownu.

Still wrong, Kihyun. You know it's wrong and you still did it. The voice at the back of his head whispered.

I tried to resist, he reasoned out.

Not enough.

Right. Not enough. If he resisted harder, then maybe this wouldn't happen. Seven months of affair? Did he really resist enough? He kept going for seven months... he didn't even try to break it off.

Because Shownu.

Wow, Kihyun. You're blaming Shownu now?

"What do you think we should do?" He leaned back against his swivel chair. Aside from this, Shownu hasn't replied to him yet which he understands. He must be in a bad place right now with his husband and his career.

"Will you even consider what I'll try to suggest, Sir?"

He glared at his secretary, "Just say it, damn! I'll do anything to get out of this fucking situation!"

Changkyun nodded, "Marry someone."

His brows furrowed at what he heard, "What the fuck?"

His secretary slid an opened folder on his table, a profile was printed on the first page, "Marry Lee Minhyuk, the CEO of ToysWithMe. He's been seen around you in various events—"

"Because he's been getting on my nerves!?" He shouted.

"Exactly, but the public won't know that. We can use those pictures to counterattack the pictures you have with.... and it'll be good for the company. A game developer and a toys manufacturer merging? This would be a great way to erase the affair issues."

Kihyun spent days thinking of what Changkyun suggested. He doesn't want to marry Lee Minhyuk, never in his wildest dreams did he ever think of doing so. How will he even propose the idea to that scumbag? Just by imagining it, he can already see the annoying smirk that is always plastered on Lee's face. Bullshit .

He stared at his phone.

Shownu .

He never contacted Kihyun ever since the rumors broke out. Being a third party, Kihyun knows he's not Shownu's priority right now. Or will he ever be. His label quickly denied the issue three hours after an article was posted.

Three hours. It was too late for the general public, but it was too early for Kihyun. The public says the label company had to organize a strategy to kill Shownu's scandal before denying it because it's true.

Kihyun thinks it was so easy for Shownu to throw him under the bus as if everything they had didn't matter, but it was stupid to think that way. Entering the stupid affair was a clear agreement that no one should know about it and now that it's out in the public, no one should ever admit it, yet it still hurts him.

Because after all Shownu has a name to protect just like Kihyun himself.

And Shownu has Hoseok. A husband to beg forgiveness from.

While Kihyun stands in his office alone, overlooking the city, thinking about how to clean up the mess on his own or else he'll be dragged down to the core with his company.

All because of one man.

All because he loved one married man.

Slowly, he brought his phone against his ear and spoke when someone picked up the call, "Hello? This is Yoo Kihyun of YKHard. Can I talk to Mr. Lee Minhyuk?"

The person from the other line put the line on hold for a moment, Kihyun's pulse doubled while waiting for the call to be transferred to Minhyuk. He didn't really want to do this. Hell, he never planned to get married but why the hell did this have to happen? Now he's here, about to propose a silly marriage with Minhyuk.

"I'm sorry, sir. The CEO is currently in the middle of a meeting."

Kihyun heaved a sigh, he needs to talk to him soon. Every day he tries to dodge the news, it just gets bigger and harder to handle. He placed his free hand on his waist, "Then can I schedule a meeting with him? It's urgent."

"Hm," the person on the other line paused, "Mr. Lee said he's too busy to meet with you, I apologize."

His forehead creased at what he heard. What does Lee Minhyuk mean by he's too busy to meet him? "When is his schedule free? Next week? Next month? Have you told him that it's me who called? I'm sure he'll free his schedule right aw—"

"Yoo, I'm busy."

Kihyun's blood started boiling when Minhyuk spoke. The fuck? I thought he's in a meeting? Are they making a fool out of me?

"Can't you sense that I don't want to meet you? Stop nagging at my employee."

The former pressed his eyes shut as he calmed himself down. He needs Minhyuk to marry him, he can't act like the usual or else this plan will fail miserably. For once, or maybe for years, he needs to put up with this annoying human being just to save his face, his company, Hyunwoo... and maybe even Hyunwoo's marriage.

A marriage he's ruined.

Ironic how he needs to fix something he knows he destroyed beyond repair.

"Let's meet."

"No."

Fuck . "Lee Minhyuk, I said let's meet. I'm not fucking around.”

"Well, I'm fucking around, literally and figurativel—"

"I don't need your nonsense, but I need you so please fucking cooperate."

The laughter from the other line irked Kihyun even more, the way Minhyuk's laugh got louder made him feel sorry for himself. "You need me? Wow, Yoo Kihyun needs me! For what?"

"I will not talk about it over the phone and not when you probably have people around you."

"Hm," Minhyuk nodded his head, a playful smile plastered on his face, "okay. Since you need me, maybe I can spare you some time.”

Opening the door is simple, you just have to tap the keycard and turn the knob before you step inside, however, Kihyun can't do it for some reason. It is strange to be meeting someone he's so annoyed with inside a hotel room with just the two of them and talk about this sudden marriage he's about to propose. He wanted to meet elsewhere but Minhyuk insisted he will only talk to Kihyun if he agrees to meet here. 

Manwhore , Kihyun thought.

The CEO of ToysWithMe is famous for his playboy life. It may not be known by the public, but it is a common knowledge within the industry. He goes out with idols, basketball players, lawyers, soccer athletes, anyone he wants? He gets. They say there is something with Lee Minhyuk that just pulls you closer and that something is nonexistent to Kihyun. He's never found anything right in this man, he's just annoying and loud and dangerous.

He plays with words, he knows things.

He's smart. Okay, that's the only right thing, I guess. 

Upon turning the cold knob, Kihyun cursed under his breath. He knows that before he steps out of this room later, he'll be selling himself to Lee Minhyuk because there's no other choice. He must get married to get away from the mistakes he made with Shownu.

The room was warmly lit, Lee Minhyuk was standing in front of the huge glass wall, overlooking the whole city. In his hand is a glass of wine, and he was dressed like he just came from work with his suit. His black hair was naturally swept back like he ran his fingers through it the whole day.

Kihyun cleared his throat to let his presence be known, CEO Lee turned around slowly and as expected, the smirk was already on his face.

He's having fun. He's enjoying this . Kihyun was having second thoughts, he's so close to running away and just let this issue die on its own but the thought of Shownu losing everything he has worked hard for made him stay in his place.

"Please take a seat," Minhyuk offered the single couch as he sat on the long one. "You said you need me? How do I pleasure you, Mr. Yoo?"

Heat rushed to Kihyun's cheeks at the bold question of the former, "Your language, please."

"Your morality, please."

That hit a nerve. "Fuck you." Kihyun has always been careful with his life decisions but the only time he didn't care too much is starting to destroy everything.

"Fuck me.”

Kihyun yelled, "Bullshit, Lee Minhyuk!" His patience is starting to get thinner than it already is. "I want to have a serious talk; can you please cooperate?"

Minhyuk's long fingers played with the mouth of the goblet, his soft laughter were annoying Kihyun, "I want to pretend I don't know why you're here but, Yoo, don't you think you being here after the news about your affair started going around won't be too fishy for me?"

Right. He knows how much Kihyun hates his guts, asking him for a serious conversation means it’s the last straw that Kihyun has, He’s desperate enough to do this. Lee watched how uncomfortable the other was on his seat. This is fun , he thought.

On the other hand, Kihyun has already been beating himself mentally for the stupid decision he made that brought him here. CEO Yoo clenched his fists, "I’m here to ask you to marry me." 

"Wow," Minhyuk's mouth widened in awe, "you're throwing away your pride for a guy?"

"Don't talk about him."

"Why not?"

"Because I said so."

"Why would I listen to you? I don't need you but, as you said, you need me." Taking a sip of his wine, Minhyuk can't help but be amused at the situation. He's been annoying this man in front of him for years already but he's the one who came here without any manipulation.

"I told you, an affair can't be a secret forever." He crossed his legs, placing the goblet on the side table next to him, "You wasted your reputation for some fucker but where is he now?"

"Stop calling him like that."

"Make it make sense, Yoo Kihyun. There are two people who made this entire issue but why are you the only one fixing it while he's busy with just his own issues?"

"He has a husband—"

"Yeah," Minhyuk crossed his arms on his chest, "and you're nothing but a hobby."

Kihyun wanted to retort but he's... he's stuck. No matter how he tries to escape Minhyuk's words, he's right. Shownu discarded him the moment the first rumor flew and he understands that but that doesn't mean Shownu doesn't love him? He's sure that Shownu is true to his feelings, he felt it.

But others won't understand because the affair would be greater than their emotions. That affair will be what other people will see and not the happiness they both felt in each other’s arms.

"And I'm being tangled in this situation? As a scapegoat?" Minhyuk shook his head, chuckling, "But okay, I'll marry you."

The fast response of Minhyuk surprised Kihyun. His proposal was sudden, totally uncalled for and is definitely in favor of him but never of Minhyuk. This marriage will tie his hands, but he didn't even flinch when he agreed.

"I'm sorry."

"You should be."

Damn, I hate his guts so much. How am I going to live with this man? Why did Secretary Im even suggest Lee Minhyuk? A moment with the other CEO is like having a time bomb around him, Kihyun is sure they won't get along well.

"Not to me, but to Shownu's husband. You're emotionally killing him right now."

Of course, the straightforward Lee Minhyuk. He didn't really let the chance of slapping the truth on Kihyun, didn't he? It's been a few hours since CEO Yoo arrived at his flat but those words are still lingering on his mind like a hangnail he can't get rid of.

Emotionally killing.

Right. Kihyun curled in his bed, his head has been aching the whole time and his guilt was forbidding him to eat even when his stomach is starting to churn painfully.

What did Hoseok even do for him to be hurt? Did Hyunwoo tell him already? Or is he still covering this up? Did Hyunwoo... acknowledge my existence or am I being pushed down to his unconscious?

He reached out for his phone and stared at Hyunwoo's phone number. A huge part of him wants to call but he knows he can't. There are things he can't do before and now, he can't do anything at all. All that is left here are his guilt and his regrets. It's crazy how one can bend his principles just for love... or maybe just for body heat. How did he even get here? How did he let everything get here? 

Stupid mistake. What a fucking stupid mistake. I thought I was already smart, but maybe, I'm really fucking stupid.

[Apgujeong-dong, Seoul]

“Do you love me?”

Hyunwoo nodded his head.

Hoseok scoffed in disbelief. His throat hurts because of the words that can’t escape from it. Bullshit. “Then, am I not enough? Where did I lack?”

The house seemed empty even when both of them were there, even when their pets are running around. Hoseok wanted to stand up so he could leave but his knees will surely fail him, they’re already shaking while he sits.

“No, you’re not lacking.” Hyunwoo can’t even raise his head, his eyes busy staring at the floor, hoping it will swallow him soon.

“Why?” Hoseok’s voice broke after asking that one word.

“You’re too much.” Too caring. Too supportive. He does nothing wrong, he’s always nice and kind. Hoseok is almost close to perfection and that thought made Hyunwoo feel worse every day. The idea that Hoseok only knows the right things to do and say, it ended up Hyunwoo thinking he always lacks. He’s the exact opposite of his husband, he can’t express the way he feels enough for him to think Hoseok receives the same love. He’s always tagging along with Hoseok’s decisions because he thinks that his will always be wrong. It suffocated him slowly, but he didn’t let his husband know because it will hurt for Hoseok to slow down just because he can’t keep up.

He found solace in Kihyun who accepted him even when he doesn’t want to step forward. Their getaways were like rabbit holes where he can hide when things are getting difficult.

But it’s wrong. Hoseok loves him and he loves him back. They are married and Kihyun… he’s just another victim here.

It’s his insecurities that made him do it and it’s ugly how he ruined so many lives to cope with those insecurities.

The dogs were barking but their silence was deafening. Three words. Is it wrong to give him everything? Love, support, and everything I can provide to make him happy? All of those and he still found it as a reason to cheat? Hoseok looked around their house, it all seemed perfect for everyone and for him until he learned about the rumors two nights ago. He kept silent because he knows rumors aren’t always true and he trusts his husband so much. Hyunwoo will never lie to him, he’s sweet and always tells him what they need to do to improve this marriage but… the pictures say otherwise? All the overseas projects and photoshoots? Kihyun has always been with him?

Hoseok bit his lower lip, he can’t even bring himself to get mad. All he can feel is how much he failed even when he thought he already did his best, it’s still wrong. It’s still not enough to make Hyunwoo his.

“How long?”

His husband remained silent but Hoseok repeated his question again, “How long has it been since this started?”

Hyunwoo didn’t want to answer because he knows the answer will break Hoseok more than he’s already been.

Hoseok grabbed the vase on the bedside table and threw it on the floor, “I am asking you how long, Son Hyunwoo!”

The three dogs ran away when the vase hit the floor. It’s the first time something broke in this house but little did they know, the home is already broken for so long. Hoseok never knew until now.

“M-More than seven months.”

Seven months and Hoseok didn’t have a clue. Two years of marriage and he thought he already knows his husband so much for him to be hiding things. Seven months of someone else touching Hyunwoo where only he is allowed. Seven months of Hyunwoo loving someone else when he vowed to love Hoseok only for the rest of his life. Seven months of him being a fool. He suddenly feels like throwing up, his skin starting to feel itchy at the thought of Hyunwoo doing wonders on someone else’s body and on him once he comes home. “When you’re making love to me, am I the person in your mind or is it… him?”

Hyunwoo looked up for the first time, his eyes were red, and he looked so broken seeing Hoseok like this. His husband was always lively, smiling at him. Hoseok was like the personification of joy but the Hoseok in front of him is far from that, he’s gloomy, like everything was draining him. How can Hyunwoo feel so lost at this scene? He made this happen. He’s the reason for all of this. “It’s you.”

“And when you’re fucking him?”

“Love, no-“

“Don’t call me love. If you love me,” Hoseok paused, feeling all the pain he’s pretending not to feel, “you won’t do this.”

“I’m sorry.”

If only those words will ease the pain, then it will be alright, but those words do nothing. The fact that Hyunwoo did it for seven months will be a scar that will follow Hoseok around until he dies.

None of them spoke after that, Hyunwoo remained in the living room for the whole night while Hoseok went straight to their bedroom after some time. He removed all the beddings of their bed, pulled out a Lysol and sprayed it all over the room, not leaving any corner untouched. His allergic rhinitis was badly triggered because of the strong scent but he didn’t stop until he thought the room was clean enough. He vacuumed and mopped the floor, wiping tiny space with a cloth. This room needs to be disinfected ; his mind says. It was close to midnight when he finished. He didn’t even feel hunger during the eight hours he’s cleaned the entire room.

All of these and it still feels dirty . Tears came to his eyes as he sat on the floor, feeling helpless. Everything and it’s still not enough. How can he do this to me when all I did was love him?

He stayed there, crying until the wee hours. It was almost 3 in the morning when he finally had the strength to stand up and walk inside the bathroom, he stripped his clothes off and spent a long time inside the tub, scrubbing the dirt off his body until his milky skin turned red due to the scratches made by his scrubbing towel. His palms and toes were already pruney but his head keeps telling him he needs to stay more, because there is still remaining dirt that he can’t wash away easily.

Images in his mind didn’t help as well, all he can see is Hyunwoo licking Kihyun’s body. The sounds they make, the smiles they exchange, the way Kihyun pleasures him. Hoseok felt small, all the confidence he had in his body since he was a child disappeared. How easy is it to say you love someone and replace them from time to time? His hand touched his chest, his eyes were already painful from crying so much, “Stop hurting, please.”

"Did he agree?" Secretary Im asked while waiting for the papers that CEO Yoo is currently signing.

"Yes." Kihyun answered passively. There will be a meeting on Friday requested by some major stockholders, and he's already sure about the agenda of that meeting.

"Already? Are there any conditions he asked in return?" 

He paused, thinking about that, Minhyuk didn't mention anything last night. All he did was mock Kihyun over the affair the whole time until Kihyun thought it's time to leave because the room was suffocating.

"I'll ask him." The CEO closed all folders and handed it back to his Secretary.

"If he asks something, will you give it to him?"

Kihyun sighed, "Yes." This is a dead end anyway. Looking for other men to use as a scapegoat is too risky, he's not really friendly with the other people in the industry. It's only Lee Minhyuk who can mingle with anyone whether an ally or an enemy, he's the social butterfly who doesn't care.

"Anything?" Secretary Im asked once more.

The other just stared at him, his lips pressed together. Maybe anything. I'm just tired of this situation. If I want to use him, it's only fair I give him what he wants.

Friday morning, Minhyuk's team decided to publish the announcement about the wedding. Both of their marketing teams had a meeting Monday night for the strategy they have to plot. 

“Why did you agree?” Kihyun asked while the two of them were riding the elevator down to the basement.

Minhyuk leaned against the wall, his arms crossed, “My dad has been bugging me to get married since last year, like the cliché shit around chaebols, I have to get married in order to transfer my shares to my name. Your offer isn’t bad, and our companies together are a whole lot advantage for me.” CEO Lee stared at him through his reflection in the elevator doors, “It’ll be fun too.”

He still thinks this is a game, not a life decision. “No divorce?”

Minhyuk glanced at him, looking so serious, “No divorce.” Then quickly looked away, “Or else my dad will take my shares back. A pain in the ass. I’d rather have a different pain in the ass, y’know?”

“Your language.”

“I’m just being true, Yoo.”

That classic smirk again.

Only Lee Minhyuk has that.

The meeting will be held the same morning, it will be the right time for them to let the public know and to also clear up the affair issues going around. It was highly suggested for Minhyuk to attend the meeting with Kihyun to assist him with the questions that might arise.

Kihyun insisted he didn't need help but Minhyuk called and said he'd come.

"Are you nervous?"

Kihyun turned his head to the person who just walked inside his office.

Minhyuk undid his coat's button and sat on the couch, busy looking around the entire place, "Woah, as expected from a game developer CEO. That looks cool, huh?" He pointed on a gaming set up at the far corner.

I'll be marrying this guy…? Am I sure? Is this the right thing? Kihyun wanted to bail every day. There was never a time he didn't want to message Minhyuk and tell him it was a wrong decision because the truth is that everything is a wrong decision. He's dragging another person again to cover up the affair he made as if hurting Hoseok wasn't enough.

"You can still back out," he muttered, his heart racing inside his chest, "while the news isn't out yet."

Minhyuk looked back at him, the playful smile still plastered there like it can never be erased by anyone, "Nope."

"If you marry me, you can't play anymore because I don't need another affair rumors connected with my name again. I don't want people to think that you playing around is my karma for what happened..."

"My playtime is over. It's tiring to fuck countless people over the years."

Kihyun scoffed, "You're not going to fuck me."

"Did I say I will?" Minhyuk arched a brow, slightly chuckling, "What's going to happen in this marriage anyway? Are you going to fall in love with m—"

"Oh, hell, no. That's not going to happen."

Lee shrugged his shoulders, "Sure, but you're free to fall in love with me, don't worry."

Kihyun stared at him in disbelief. Just how much self-confidence does this man have? Is he shameless?

"I said I won't fall in love with you."

The corners of Lee's lips curled up even more, "You don't know the future. Did you ever dream of being caught in an affair?"

Silence.

"No, right?" Minhyuk crossed his legs, "You can't be a hundred percent sure that you won't love me."

Kihyun closed his laptop, he can't work with Minhyuk here and with the meeting starting in half an hour, "Can we never talk about the issue? Can you just shut up about it? Can we pretend it never happened?"

"Why? Are you hurt? Isn't that the reason why we're both here?"

Fucking hell. "Let's cancel this marriage. I can't live with you."

Minhyuk uncrossed his legs and rose to his feet, striding closer to the desk where Kihyun is, "The news is out by this minute." He placed his hands on top of the desk as he leaned closer, "I think you need to learn how you can't just undo things after you've done them, Yoo Kihyun."

"I'm letting you use me to clean up this mess but in exchange for this, you won't ever talk to that fucker again. I'm not going to jump into this dirty puddle just to be played, Mr. Yoo. There's no way I'm going to let you make a fool out of me in the public's eye, I'm not Hoseok."

Kihyun's lower lip trembled with the desire to retort something but a knock interrupted their heated conversation, Secretary Im walked in and said, "The meeting will start in ten minutes, sir."

The board room was silent as they sat down on their seats, Minhyuk sat on the chair right next to Kihyun. Everyone's eyes were on him and not on their own CEO. Must be curious about the new face, he thought. "Good morning, ladies and gentlemen." Amusement was evident in his tone, Kihyun glanced at him which made him silent.

Secretary Im facilitated the meeting and the roll call, minutes from the last meeting were reviewed and the agenda for today was announced once more. They demand clarification about the issue or "scandal" just like how they worded it. Lots of concerns were raised and the idea of making him step down from his position was thrown out easily in front of him like he wasn't here.

Kihyun stayed silent as he listened to the major stockholders meet. Years before, he told himself he'll never experience this because he has no plans of ruining a reputation he worked so hard to build.

But here he is, right now, at the receiving end of the same words he used to hear in dramas. He thought those words were very fictitious, and that businessmen aren't feebleminded to push someone out of their CEOship after some rumors... or bribe.

"We're just worried that indecent news will continuously harm the company. The number of stocks I have here is not a joke, I wouldn't want my investments to go to waste just because CEO Yoo... decided to..."

"To?"

Kihyun's eyes widened when Minhyuk spoke. He's not supposed to say something! He's been silent for almost an hour now, carefully listening like Kihyun but right, it must be impossible for him to keep his mouth shut for more than an hour.

Mr. Go straightened his back, flustered that Minhyuk cut him off, "T-To have an affair with someone who is married. I don't really mind his personal life but dragging the company with him is too much."

"He's not having an affair." Minhyuk dropped his pen on the desk in front of him, "I am his boyfriend, how can you accuse him of having an affair in my face?"

"Minhyuk," Kihyun called.

"No, babe."

Babe? BABE? Where the fuck did that 'babe' come from?

"Have you read the news? Of course, you have. Didn't you see the headlines? Or do you want me to read it out for all of you here who's speaking to your own CEO like he never did anything right?"

"Minhyuk." Kihyun appreciates the fact that Minhyuk is helping him out right now by playing his role but... him acting like this might be another reason for them to take him down.

Mrs. Park interfered, "I have read the news, Mr. Lee. Congratulations on your wedding but how can we even believe that this wedding, this relationship is true and not just an escape door from the," her eyes landed on Kihyun's, "affair."

Minhyuk's mocking laughter broke the ice cold stare from Mrs. Park, "Do you want us to fuck in front of you to believe us?"

Another man, Mr. Kim, stood up with his face flushed in anger, "How disrespectful?! Is this the person you're going to marry, Mr. Yoo Kihyun? I am so disappointed at you, I never thought you can stoop this low—"

Kihyun wanted to run away the moment Minhyuk stood up and crossed his arms, facing the angry Mr. Kim and the mumbling stockholders. He knows this meeting will be going nowhere and he can already foresee himself packing up the things in his office.

"No, listen. You've been disrespecting Kihyun since we stepped inside this hall, I decided to keep mum because I know that Kihyun needs to explain but the way you talked about him as if he did some unpunishable crime and wanting him out of his position because of some rumors you've been hearing and not even letting him explain is too much. After all of those, do you really expect me to respect you?

"Sorry, but Kihyun will stay as CEO of this company until you find actual evidence about this affair you're talking about."

This is bullshit. Minhyuk is ruining everything, he should've stayed silent. He should've let Kihyun do his thing because this is his own problem! Yoo wanted to say something, his mind is torn between thanking Minhyuk or choking him to death. Did he really come here to help me or just drown me even more?

The disappointment written all over the faces of everyone in the room was evident, and instead of sitting down, Minhyuk pulled the troubled CEO out of the room.

"What the fuck was that?" Panting hard because of the anger he's trying to suppress, Kihyun couldn't help but push Minhyuk against the wall when they entered his office, his hand on the other's collar.

"What do you think? I was trying to help—"

"I didn't need your help out there!" His voice roared, "You should've shut your mouth!"

Minhyuk sneered, not even threatened at the tightening grip near his neck, "Your silence makes them feel powerful, idiot. I know there are times you should shut up but when people start disrespecting you, don't let them." His hands reached Kihyun's chest as his face drew closer to the other's, "If you're trying to cover up the affair, defend yourself as if it never happened or else, you'll bring me down with you."

With so much force, Minhyuk pushed CEO Yoo away and walked out of the room.

How can a cheater be a scaredy cat? Minhyuk thought as he strides toward the elevator, where's the remorseless Yoo Kihyun who had an illicit affair with a married man?

"You know this isn't real, right? This marriage." Kihyun said upon entering the honeymoon suite his secretary booked for them. “We might be married legally but we’re just doing this because it benefits us both. I can avoid the issue and you can get your shares.”

Minhyuk glanced at him as he sips on his champagne, "Are you sure I'm the one you're reminding or is it yourself who needs some reminders?"

The wedding was a very intimate event that happened yesterday. It was just them and some relatives. It took them a couple of months of preparation and countless pretentious dates just so they can convince the public that what they have is real. The stockholders are quiet but Kihyun knows they are weary, watching all their moves. None of their parents know that they’re not really in love, Kihyun thinks they are great actors that mostly everyone believes this marriage to be real.

Well, they have to do this for the rest of their lives anyway, or years in case they just can’t really live together.

"Two beds, really?"

"Do you honestly think I'll sleep next to you?"

"So... no actions tonight?"

 “What the hell?"

Minhyuk shrugged, "Just asking. First wedding so I wanted to make sure."

Kihyun rolled his eyes and dragged his luggage to the walk-in closet, "Shut up."

Spending time with Minhyuk made his presence a little tolerable. This marriage... This isn't the type of marriage that will end on a certain date or after reaching one's goal. They both talked it over and decided to... remain married for as long as they can because it is beneficial to both of them and to the companies they own.

Minhyuk says he doesn't want people jumping on him anymore while Kihyun... Hyunwoo is still married. It doesn't look like their marriage was affected by the rumors and he... hasn't contacted Kihyun since it all broke out.

Three months of nothing but silence. No explanation, no secret messages, no relayed message from any person who can be their bridge. Nothing. It would be a lie to say Kihyun never waited because the truth is he hoped Hyunwoo would reach out especially when their engagement was announced. 

If Hyunwoo really loved him... he'd say something, right? But who is Kihyun anyway? He's nothing but an affair. A mistake. A permanent scar.

Kihyun stared at the clothes he just hanged in the closet, the sight of those pulls him back to all their secret getaways. How he goes out of the country whenever Hyunwoo has a photoshoot overseas. Them sneaking in each other's rooms. Hyunwoo's tiny excuses of a morning run whenever his room is found empty but the truth is.... he's busy kissing Kihyun's neck or it's Kihyun busy worshipping him.

Oh, fuck. Kihyun, what a fucking monster. Worshipping a married man? You got married yesterday and here you are thinking about a man who didn't care about you? Who remained deaf to all the things that were thrown at you?

"Hey."

"Oh, why?" Kihyun pulled his empty luggage to the far corner of the walk-in closet.

"I was asking if you want to go swimming but you didn't answer. Are you okay?" Minhyuk's brows furrowed even more, "Please don't be sappy thinking about other people on our honeymoon trip."

"Shut up."

"Kihyun, please."

Kihyun's jaw clenched, "Minhyuk, shut the fuck up."

"He's married!"

"I know!"

"Then stop it! You've played the bastard who's snatching someone else's husband but please, stop. Just stop. Stop hurting yourself, stop hurting his husband."

Kihyun stood up and slammed the bathroom’s door on Minhyuk’s face. “Fuck him,” leaning against the cold wall, he tried to calm himself down because Minhyuk is right. He has no right to even think about Hyunwoo, he’s married now as well. It’s just… another mistake.

He’s here to correct that. He’s in this situation in high hopes that he can make things right… and protect Hyunwoo along with his marriage. He needs to play the role he chose and that is to be someone else’s husband, and a CEO of a company. Not Shownu’s affair. Not the homewrecker.

Moving into a real house was such a huge change in both of their lives. Being bachelors who are busy with their own businesses, they preferred living in high rise flats and a penthouse. However, getting married meant settling down and as people seemed to be more weary of them, they both came up with the idea to buy a house in one exclusive village in Cheongdamdong. Far from Pyeongchang where Hyunwoo and his husband live.

“I can’t cook.”

Shock was written all over Kihyun’s face as the both of them stood inside their kitchen, “What do you mean?”

Minhyuk raised his eyebrows, “I said I can’t cook. Let’s just hire someone.”

“I don’t like anyone else touching my kitchen.” If there’s anything that helps Kihyun cope with stress, it’s cooking. It makes him care less about the world and just focus on his food, but it’s different that he’s now living with someone. Minhyuk should know how to work around the house because he’s not living alone anymore.

Smirking, Minhyuk stepped back with his hands in the air, surrendering, “I am anyone else so… goodluck with cooking.”

They were fighting like cats and dogs during the first month they started living together. Kihyun liked keeping his house sparkling clean but Minhyuk was alright with a little mess which makes the former even more stressed out. 

“What the fuck?” Minhyuk hastily stood up when he felt a pillow hit his back. He found Kihyun standing next to the couch where he’s sitting, Running Man is playing on the screen.

“Feet off the couch.”

“I bought this couch.”

“I don’t care. The couch is for you to sit on, not for your feet. Get the vacuum, will you? The chips you’ve been eating are all over the floor!”

Working made it easier for them to tolerate each other because as workaholics, both of them stayed at work most of the time and the only moment they saw each other was during breakfast and sometimes dinner when none of them had scheduled dinner meetings.

The issue has died down slightly, and the situation with YKHard’s major stockholders has gotten better because their marriage seemed believable somehow.

“So, you want to make toy figures of the heroes from Blades of the Future?”

Minhyuk dipped the piece of meat in the sesame oil, “Uh-huh, there are lots of requests and I don’t think it’s a bad idea.”

Kihyun pushed his glasses upwards, confused as to why a children’s toy manufacturer wanted to sell figures from his game, “You do know that our game is about violence, right? Why the hell do you want to sell that to children?”

“What’s wrong with that?” Minhyuk scratched his left brow and resumed eating.

“Our game is about killing people, Lee Minhyuk. Are you even thinking? Your market is teenagers and below!”

“So?”

“Are you fucking dumb?”

“Do you think I’m fucking dumb? Why would I tell you this if I didn’t think this through? My team already has a presentation ready, just tell us a date and we can lay down our plans.”

“This is stupid.”

“You are stupid, hear us out first!” Minhyuk hissed, watching Kihyun who’s obviously not in favor of the suggestion he just raised during dinner. “Your mouth never stops initiating an argument, I am so annoyed right now.”

“I’m the one who’s supposed to be annoye—”

“Right, chew that entire wrap of bossam so I can eat in peace. Ugh.” He earned a glare from Kihyun, but he wasn’t scared enough and even dared to glare back, “Chew or let that get spoiled in your mouth forever, you choose.”

It was getting easier as days passed by. Shownu never sent anything to Kihyun since the rumors, not even when the news about the wedding broke out. No apologies, no public statements, no messages, no calls, nothing. It felt like they never really knew each other and whatever happened was just a literal daydream. Kihyun still thinks at night about how Hyunwoo does it. How come he never said anything to him? How is it possible to treat someone you claim to love as a person you never knew? That it’s all just a groundless rumor passed around to bring the people involved down.

But maybe Kihyun doesn’t deserve any of those.

He’s the one who ruined what Hyunwoo and his husband had. He was supposed to respect that, but he didn’t. 

Although in his mind, he still wonders if it’s wrong to get any of those? He has already accepted the fact that he and Hyunwoo have no future. If Hyunwoo really had the plan to divorce his husband, he would’ve done it but is it too much for him to get closure? Just to end whatever they had.

To consider the crime case closed.

Kihyun stood in front of the huge television at home, he got off from work earlier because it was raining hard and he didn’t want to drive at night.

He stared at the words flashed on the screen and the picture that came along with it.

---

[CEO Lee of ToysWithMe caught having a date with his former boyfriend, Model Jung.]

---

It would’ve been just another scandal that he might have thanked for as long as it’s not him but that back seemed so familiar. It’s the same back he watches while he makes coffee in the morning and the owner of the back is sitting at the dining area, watching the stock market in the morning.

He wanted to shrug it off because it’s just another rumor, but the thing is… it is another rumor.

And most rumors are true.

Picking up his phone from the coffee table, he dialed Minhyuk’s number who picked it up at the second ring, “It’s not true.” The latter said as soon as the line got connected.

Kihyun stared at their huge window, showing their lawn and heavy rain drops from outside, “The rain seems strong, come home soon.” 

The other wanted to say something but Kihyun had already ended the call before Minhyuk even finished his sentence. He doesn’t really care about Minhyuk’s life, their marriage revolves around companionship even when it’s filled with daily banters and silence, no in between. His eyes roamed around their huge house, only the dim lights are open and being alone here reminds him of how lonely it is… to be him.

Involved in an affair a couple of months ago. Rumored to be cheated on tonight.

What goes around really comes back around, huh? Kihyun thought. He knew it was coming, knowing Minhyuk’s reputation even when he already warned him prior to marriage.

His finger searched for Hyunwoo’s number but nothing in him had the courage to click it. Through the months, he never became brave enough to talk to him just like the other never tried to reach out.

Heaving a sigh, Kihyun turned off the lights and took the stairs back to his bedroom.

The next morning, Minhyuk came down to eat breakfast. His feet walked carefully, like a robber trespassing in a bank. He and Kihyun don’t have the kind of relationship where they have to explain themselves, but he still felt guilty for last night. He originally planned to apologize once he arrived home but Kihyun was already sleeping.

No one was in the kitchen when he stepped in, a breakfast meal had already been served and the house was already silent. He ran his way to the garage only to find his car alone. He must’ve left early. 

It was not true that he and Jaehyun went on a date last night, they just accidentally bumped into each other while he wasn’t on his way to a meeting but the client had moved the dinner to a later time so he invited Jaehyun for a coffee. Which was wrong, he admits that. Although he hasn’t adjusted yet, he’s still married and Kihyun barely dodged the same issue he just sparked by that coffee.

Lee Minhyuk isn’t really the person who apologizes when he knows he didn’t do anything wrong but in order to keep peace within this household, it wouldn’t be too much for him to apologize to his… husband.

“The launch will be next month so make sure that all details are already close to perfection if not perfect yet by this week.”

“Yes, sir.” Team Leader Chan smiled at the CEO.

Kihyun turned his head to the Marketing Director Yoon, “How’s the reaction of the market?”

“Their responses have been great since the release of the teaser photos of the new game last week. As planned, we are planning to send out the details to all retailers this week. The pubmats are already sent to Secretary Im for final approval and we’re good to go.”

“Here, sir.” Secretary Im handed a folder to Kihyun, it contains posters that they are about to distribute for the retailers.

Auditor Kim cleared his throat, “The request for a 25% discount during the first week of the preorder sales have been reviewed by our team, sir.”

“Okay, what about it?”

“Well, it doesn’t seem possible to allow that. 25% for seven days will bring more loss than profit for us, only the retailers would find it beneficial, but we can suggest a 15% discount instead for seven days.”

Kihyun nodded his head, realizing that it’s not really a good idea after all.

“If you wish to keep the 25% discount, we can only keep it for three days rather than a whole week.”

“Alright, we’ll go with the 15% then. Our market is mostly students,” his eyes scanned everyone, “we should also consider that not everyone can purchase within the first three days.”

The whole day in YKHard was filled with numerous meetings within and between departments. There were a lot of changes and suggestions that came up which needed to be reviewed again by everyone. It is usually hectic within the company every time the date for a launch gets closer.

“Do you want me to order dinner for you?” Secretary Im asked while the two of them were in the middle of scanning the reports that are submitted today.

“Oh, it’s dinner already?” He checked his wristwatch and found out it’s almost 9:30 PM.

“Yes, sir.”

“Please order food for yourself too. Let’s have a short break and continue once we’re done eating.” Kihyun ordered. Secretary Im excused himself to order food for the both of them, he took it as his time to check his phone. Minhyuk just sent a text that he’s already home.

Kihyun didn’t bother to reply since there’s nothing to say anymore anyway what caught him off guard was what the other message he received.

 

---

Shownu: I’m sorry for sending a message this late but please, babe, divorce him. I know you don’t love him.

Shownu: I know you did this to get away from the issue. Please divorce him. 

Shownu: Please, Kihyun.

---

 

He’s finding it hard to believe that Hyunwoo… sent a message to him? After almost five months of silence? And he’s asking Kihyun to divorce Minhyuk? What the actual fuck is this?

The door suddenly swung open before he could even reply, Im Changkyun stepped back inside but there was someone else behind him.

“You didn’t answer my messages.”

Kihyun was ready to ask Changkyun why he let Shownu get into the building but the latter immediately defended himself, “I would’ve asked the guards to escort him out only if it wouldn’t make a scene.”

Right. Having the guards drag Hyunwoo out of this place will lead to more attention because why would Hyunwoo be here? An idol inside the building where the company of his rumored affair is located? And isn’t Kihyun asking for closure? Maybe this can be it, so they can go their separate ways after.

“Leave us.”

Secretary Im exchanged meaningful glances with the CEO before he carefully made his exit, leaving both the married man and his… affair alone. He hopes the CEO makes a good decision tonight, because he didn’t go through everything just to go back to zero.

“Why are you here?”

Hyunwoo stood in front of him, busy staring at him with the same eyes he fell in love with almost a year ago, but this man seems different now, ever since things started going down.

“Kihyun.”

So, he still knows my name, thought I never really existed in his world. 

“I’m sorry.”

CEO Yoo looked away, not wanting to let his guards down because two words are all it took for him to feel how tiring it was to pretend he’s never affected even when the truth is it was taking away what he has left every single night, “Do you even know what you’re sorry for?”

“I’m… my phone was broken, it’s all a mess. I know there is no excuse for me to leave you hanging but everything was just so chaotic, and I can’t risk my husband, my career, and you all at the same time. It’s so fucking hard and I didn’t know what to do next, so I fixed things one by one and I know that if I reconnect with you again, it’ll be difficult for all of us.”

“Why are you walking away? Can’t I even hug you? Babe, I missed you.”

“Kihyun.”

“Stop this, Hyunwoo.” CEO Yoo moved farther away, avoiding being close to the man in front of him. “This is shit. Stop being fucking shitty, Hyunwoo. You are so fucking selfish. You cannot barge in here and act as if nothing happened when I almost lost everything while you are away, fixing the issues that affect you alone.

“And damn, you said you were fixing your marriage? Why the hell are you here? Why the hell do you want to hug me? Don’t you even have a conscience? We were busted! This damned affair was out in the open and you want this to keep going? How could you do this to me? Or to your husband who accepted you after everything?”

Hyunwoo’s expression hardened, “I didn’t want this either but I just can’t let you go, Ki. Don’t you love me anymore?”

There was a sudden lump growing inside Kihyun’s throat, the urge to cry was getting stronger every minute, “I put down my pride and my principles to commit a mistake, how can you ask me that?”

“Then why can’t we do this anymore?”

“Are you seriously asking me that? Are you dumb? I love you. I love you so damn much but, Hyunwoo, this is making me sick. What you want me to keep on doing is disgusting. You can’t keep both me and your husband, you shouldn’t be that selfish. I am married, you are fucking married right from the start. I love you but this is bullshit.” Kihyun shook his head, “This isn’t love, this is just carnal desire for you and that is making me want to hate myself.

“I’m done being your summer getaway. I don’t want to be just a getaway anymore.”

If Hyunwoo was telling the truth about loving him, he should’ve ended what he and his husband had long ago, but he didn’t. He wants to keep both of them and that is nothing but selfishness. He doesn’t care about Kihyun or Hoseok for that matter, all he thinks about is himself and it’s disappointing for Kihyun that he only noticed that now.

“I did my best to correct where we both got wrong, Hyunwoo. I’m not going to commit the same mistake twice.”

“If I divorce Hoseok, can I have you back?”

Kihyun cursed in his head. Is Hyunwoo this heartless? Is it really easy for him to throw people away just to take advantage? “I am married.” He might love this man, but playtime is over. He doesn’t want to be involved in an affair again, he wants to cut it off with Hyunwoo. “Please, just leave me alone. I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. Let’s stop hurting other people, Hyunwoo. Hoseok doesn’t deserve this, stop being an asshole to him. If you don’t love him anymore, let him go.”

The lights inside the house are still turned on when Kihyun came home, he found Minhyuk lying on the couch with his worn out white shirt and his boxers, hugging a bowl of popcorn. He didn’t want to have another banter tonight so he was planning to just go upstairs after hanging his car keys on the hook mounted on the wall but Minhyuk sat upon hearing his noises.

“How busy are you at work?”

“What?” He turned around, his forehead creased.

Minhyuk pointed at the wall clock, it’s past midnight now, “Isn’t it too late?”

“Why do you care?”

“I was just asking.”

“I’ll sleep now.”

“Wait.”

Kihyun steps halted, waiting for what Minhyuk has to say so he can finally rest in his room. It was such a long day and Hyunwoo dropping by earlier made him feel more stressed, “Did you eat dinner already?”

Oh, he didn’t have the appetite to eat dinner when Hyunwoo left and just continued working. “I’m not hungry,” he lied.

“I left some chicken for you though, I thought I could finish two whole chickens but I became too full already. I can reheat it if you want, oh, and I bought Coke Zero too. Isn’t that—”

“No. What do you want?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re speaking too fast and you don’t like Coke Zero, what do you want me to do in exchange for these good deeds?”

Minhyuk put down the bowl of popcorn which irritated Kihyun even more, “If I see one popcorn on the floor tomorrow I’m going to hit you with the vacuum, Lee Minhyuk.”

“Geez! Calm down! I will vacuum the whole living room for your peace of mind. Ugh, such a fucking neat freak, I hate this.” Minhyuk mumbled while checking the floor for any popcorn.

“Can you please just tell me what you want already? Because I want to take a shower now.”

The latter stood straight, scratching his brow, “I don’t really say sorry but I just want to apologize for the news last night. It’s not really true so you don’t have t—”

“I don’t care.”

Minhyuk was so surprised to hear Kihyun, he sounded so cold ever since he arrived. It’s not very… Kihyun. They do fight a lot like little kids but he wasn’t like this. He sounds so done with whatever shit Minhyuk has to offer instead of fighting back.

“That’s your life, do whatever you want. We’re just here to get the most out of this marriage. I’ll go to bed now.”

Min’s eyes followed Kihyun until he disappeared from his sight to the second floor. Did something happen?

The next day was another usual day, both of them eating breakfast in silence. Kihyun took a shower after breakfast while Minhyuk washed the dishes, and then left on their own for work. But the latter received a message from his father around lunch, inviting him and his husband for dinner. 

He messages Kihyun to inform him about it as they both agreed to attend each other’s family gatherings like a real couple but it’s nearing dinner time and Kihyun hasn’t responded yet. Knowing how workaholic the other is, Minhyuk tried to call Kihyun’s secretary.

“I sent Kihyun a message but it seems like he’s drowning with work again so can you please remind him that my dad invited us for dinne—”

“Sorry, sir, but the CEO left around 3:30 PM.” Secretary Im cut him off.

3:30 PM? Isn’t that too early to get off from work? In the span of their marriage, Kihyun never tried to go home this early. “Do you know why he left so early?”

“Haven’t you heard about the news?”

“What news?”

“...Shownu met with an accident last night and he’s in the hospital right now based on the news.”

What the fuck? “Where’s Kihyun? Please don’t tell me he went to the hospital.”

“He didn’t say anything, he just left after the news was poste—”

Minhyuk dropped the call and left orders to his secretary, he needs to find Kihyun as soon as possible. He can’t be seen in the hospital! The media will be there, Hoseok will be there! He can’t put up another fire when they barely killed the last one. Starting the engine of his car, he kept calling Kihyun who never answered. He was torn between going to the hospital or checking if he’s at home.

“He wouldn’t dare go to the hospital, right? He’s not that stupid. He’s not that stupid, Min.” Minhyuk blabbered as he maneuvered the car back to the direction of their house.

Please be home, Minhyuk repeated as he waited for their garage door to lift. He blew out his cheeks in relief when he saw Kihyun’s Benz parked inside. Well, at least he proved that he’s not really that stupid, Minhyuk thought.

Removing his coat, he tried looking if Kihyun was in the kitchen but he found it empty, however, there was a half filled glass of water on the kitchen counter. If Minhyuk left it, Kihyun would go ballistic but… Yoo must be that sad to leave it there without washing it.

With silent steps, Minhyuk made his way to Kihyun’s door. Should I go inside? What would I even do there? I’m not the one he needs anyway but I should at least check him, right? He drew in a long breath before he turned the knob.

Kihyun’s room was dark, the air con was turned on its full blast. Min shuddered at the room’s temperature when the cold kissed his skin, “Yoo?”

No one answered.

Min touched the wall, his hand searching for the light’s switch and clicked it to turn the lights on. The room is still the same old, boring type of room. Everything is organized, and there’s no sign of anger or devastation around. He found Kihyun in his bed, curled up with no blanket over him, his arms covering his head. He’ll get sick at this point, tsk. 

Stepping closer to the bed, Minhyuk was planning to put some blanket on the other but he stopped midway when he heard Kihyun sobbing. It wasn’t loud enough, it sounds like he was trying to suppress the sobs but he can barely do it.

“Yoo, you’ll catch a cold.”

“Please leave me alone.”

Minhyuk licked his lower lip. He doesn’t like this scene. Yoo Kihyun isn’t weak… he’s not this person. “Did you eat already? I’ll order food for u—WHAT THE FUCK?!” His face flew at the other side when a pillow hit him straight on the face.

“I said leave me the fuck alone! Get out of my room, please!”

“Fine! Freeze here in your cold hell, whatever. I don’t care!” He walked out the room, catching his breath because that version of Yoo Kihyun is testing his patience. Why is he so mad? I was just concerned? I just wanted to ask what he wants for dinner, why did he have to throw that fucking pillow? Wow, I hate him so much? I should reevaluate my decision of not divorcing him.

Minhyuk fished for his phone and called his father, telling him that something came up so they couldn't go to dinner.

It was getting late and Kihyun doesn’t seem like he has a plan to eat dinner, so Minhyuk left a tray of food he ordered in front of his bedroom door. Knocking softly, he spoke, “I left you some food. You should eat some.”

The cheater’s accident wasn’t fatal, reports say that he fractured his left leg and that he was driving under the influence of alcohol which is a pretty serious offense. Minhyuk shook his head as he scrolled through different articles, “Stupid boy. What did Kihyun see from this man anyway?”

He seems like he can never do anything right, Minhyuk thought. Putting his phone down, he wonders what’s going to happen tomorrow? Especially for breakfast because he can’t cook.

Kihyun didn’t cook. 

The food he left last night was untouched, the kitchen was still the same as how he left it last night. Yoo’s car keys were still hanging near the front door. Wiping the sleep off his eyes, Minhyuk stared blankly at the kitchen. His stomach is already grumbling but he doesn’t know how to cook properly so he ended up grabbing some cereal and milk instead.

He was in the middle of a meeting when Secretary Im called to inform him that Kihyun didn’t go to the office for the day.

And the day after, and the day after the day after.

He was starting to feel worried, Kihyun barely touched the food he left. He hasn’t seen him much at home because the latter never leaves his room.

“Kihyun, please eat something!” He finally came inside, not giving a damn whether Yoo will get mad again because honestly, this is alarming. “You can’t jail yourself here forever. You can’t still visit him even if you die here, stupid.”

“Do you think his husband will let you see him if you fall sick and go to the same hospital? No! Damn, Ki. He’s fucking married, stop clinging onto him!”

“I know.”

Min paused when he heard Kihyun speak. The latter removed the blanket covering his face, the swelling eyes looked like he got allergies. He’s been crying for so long, huh?

“I know he’s married, that’s why I didn’t go there.” Kihyun wiped the tear that fell from his eye with the back of his hand, “That’s why I’m suffering here alone. Because I know he’s married and I’m sorry if I can’t bring myself to eat anything. I’m feeling so guilty because I might be the reason why he’s hurt, because I pushed him away the night before—”

“What? What are you talking about?”

Kihyun slowly sat up, his shirt wrinkled so bad and his hair disheveled from lying on the bed for too long, “He went to my office the night before the accident.”

Placing his hand on his waist, Minhyuk can’t help but get mad, “Didn’t I tell you not to meet with him ever again? He brings nothing but shit to your life, why can’t you fucking stay away?”

“He went there, okay? I didn’t call him or anything, he just went uninvited and Changkyun thought having him dragged by the guards would catch more attention and we don’t want that to happen!”

“What did that fucker say? Did he tell you he’ll do better? That he will leave his husband for you?”

“Yes.”

“Bullshit, and what did you say?” Minhyuk let out a mirthless laugh, “Did you say you’ll leave me too for him?”

Kihyun threw a dagger look at him, “I ended it with him.” His eyes fell on his hands that were slightly scratching his arms, “I said I can’t do it anymore, that he should stop because he’s hurting his husband. I ended it with him, Minhyuk.”

Lee was caught off guard when he saw Kihyun’s tears fall endlessly while the latter was keeping a straight face.

“I ended it with him because I want to do something right even if it hurts so much because you’re right, he’s married. I shouldn’t be thinking of him anymore, I have no right to love him even in secret.”

Goosebumps appeared on Minhyuk’s skin as he watched Kihyun smile sadly, his tears still falling, “I’m finally doing something right, don’t you think?”

Without stopping himself, Minhyuk sat on Kihyun’s bed and hugged him gently which triggered something in Kihyun, making him cry harder. The house was dead silent except for Kihyun’s loud cries, he was drowning from the tears he was keeping in the past days, now he’s letting it all out and Minhyuk is now there to help him swim away.

Minhyuk decided to take over YKHard for the meantime while Kihyun is taking a rest at home. The launch for the new game is coming real soon and he has to make sure that the launch will go smoothly so he’ll be monitoring it on his own. He vacated his office and stayed in Kihyun’s while balancing both YKHard and ToysWithMe.

The amount of work is insane. ToysWithMe is already hard to handle but adding Kihyun’s workloads to his was a difficult challenge. He ditched all his night outs since that day Kihyun cried in his arms and decided to focus on the companies instead.

YKHard employees are already asking about Kihyun’s whereabouts, and they told them he’ll be on a break for a while due to personal issues.

“I think we should release a version of this game with these characters as limited editions.” Minhyuk butted in during the presentation.

Team Leader Chan was flustered at the sudden comment of the acting CEO, “Sir?”

“You heard me.”

“Yes, sir,” Lee Chan glanced at his team mates, “but releasing a new edition of the game instead of just selling the new characters as limited edition would be better for the customer—”

“We need the customers to spend more not for them to save money,” Minhyuk removed his eyeglasses and dropped the folder on the desk, “right, Team Leader Lee Chan?”

Yoon from the Marketing Department raised his hand, “The customers might not buy the new version of the game just for the five new characters, it would be better if we sell the characters onl—”

“They’ll buy it. If they love the game and they want the characters, they’ll buy it.” Minhyuk leaned forward, smiling at the innocence of Kihyun’s employees. “Kids, this is the truth. We make money out of people’s weaknesses, patrons will buy it over and over again as long as it caters to their desires.”

“Look at how we, in ToysWithMe, release the same face of dolls in different clothes yet they’re still one of our best sellers. The customers have the option of sewing the doll’s own clothes but do they do that? A very few do, but most of them? They just buy the other doll. People collect the same robots in different sizes even if nothing else change.This is how business works.”

Everyone in the conference room was silent, Minhyuk leaned against his swivel chair, “Is this how Kihyun taught you?”

Silence.

Minhyuk tilted his head, amused. “It’s nice to be kind, but separate your emotions from work. You’re here to do your job not for charity work, you can do that during your days off.”

Secretary Im was just watching from the side. He can see how different Lee Minhyuk and Yoo Kihyun are from managing business. CEO Yoo always tells them to put the customers as their top priority but CEO Lee is just… a pawn of capitalism.

Kihyun stared at the food in front of him. These days, Minhyuk has been going straight home from work instead of spending his night at different bars. He came earlier and told Kihyun that he should come down for dinner or else he’ll drag him with force.

“Did you cook this?” He asked.

Since Kihyun has no energy to cook food lately, their daily menu consists of delivery food. From black bean noodles, to chicken, to Chinese food, to sushi, to ramen.

But today, there is… wait, is this bibimbap ? He stole a glance at Minhyuk who’s setting up the table, wearing an apron. He doesn’t know how to cook, right? Is this safe to eat?

“Yup! Try it, I think I have a future with the kitchen. You should get ready to be evicted from here because soon enough this kitchen is mine.” Minhyuk’s mouth kept talking loudly.

Kihyun, on the other hand, picked up the spoon to have a bite which he immediately regretted. What the hell is this? He wasn’t sure if he’s supposed to feel better from this food or die of food poisoning. Did he prepare this sincerely or is this a prank? 

Minhyuk sat on the chair in front of Ki’s, while Kihyun is still unsure if he should chew the food or spit it out.

“How was it?” The former asked, brushing his hair back. There were bullets of sweat on his forehead, he wiped it off with his hand and that’s when Kihyun saw the band aids on the latters fingers.

Yoo swallowed the devil’s food and asked, “What happened to your fingers?” He downed his glass of water to remove the taste in his mouth.

“I was just stupid at cutting the radish. How was it?” Minhyuk’s eyes were expectant, “This is the first meal I’ve ever cooked.”

Although it tasted horrible, Kihyun gave out a smile, considering how much effort Minhyuk exerted, “It’s good!” He began eating it like a happy kid getting a taste of ice cream for the first time even when inside, he hoped he’d lose the sense of taste for an hour.

Minhyuk laughed seeing Kihyun eat a lot, this is the most he has eaten for the past few days but that’s not why he’s laughing. He’s just happy that Kihyun is acting like that bibimbap is good when the truth is he put soy sauce, vinegar and barbecue sauce there for fun and the bandages on his fingers are not because of the food they are eating right now.

Kihyun stopped eating for a moment when he noticed that something was off, he raised his spoon and aimed at Minhyuk’s plate, “Sorry, I want more of yours.” 

The house was filled with Minhyuk’s laughter and Kihyun’s loud curses after Kihyun found out that he was being played at because the food in Minhyuk’s plate tastes good. “I seriously thought you finally had a heart, asshole!”

Lee raised his hand in defense, “I was just trying to make you laugh!”

“It’s not funny!” Kihyun picked up his chopstick and threw it on Minhyuk.

“It is funny!”

The two just ran around the house, throwing random harmless objects at each other until they both got exhausted. Kihyun offered to wash the dishes because Minhyuk was busy with work the whole day and even bothered to prepare their dinner. He was already drying the washed plates when the trash bin was slightly filled. He later came to fix the trash after he was done with the last plate but was taken aback to see burnt food inside. He opened the other bin for wastes and saw tissue with blood.

Minhyuk really tried to cook after all but he failed so he served a dinner he had delivered.

Kihyun’s heart felt warm at the gesture. Lee isn’t really the type of person who tries to cook, he used to live with a cook prior to this marriage and never touched the stove when they started living together but he tried tonight.

He sat next to Minhyuk, who was watching the television, after cleaning the kitchen. The latter’s feet are on the couch again but Kihyun thought he should let it go tonight since Min worked hard. He wanted to say something but he didn’t want to tell Min that he saw the trash bin’s contents, afraid that it would make Minhyuk humiliated even if his intention was to thank him, so he stayed silent instead.

“Are you feeling better?” Lee asked.

“Less bad, I guess.”

“Do you want to cry again?”

Ki turned his head to look at Minhyuk whose eyes are still stuck on the tv, “Will you hug me again?”

That night, Minhyuk slept next to Kihyun, his arms around the other while the latter slept peacefully on his chest after crying for some time.

And that happened again the next night.

And the night after that.

And another night.

And another night.

Until Minhyuk finally moved into Kihyun’s room, and Kihyun’s closet was filled with Min’s shirt that he stole. Yoo stopped crying every night and Hyunwoo was forgotten.

It became just the two of them.

No pasts. No affairs. No record of mistakes. 

Just them and their silly banters, their playful pranks, their nonsense arguments and Minhyuk’s journey to baking pastries under Kihyun’s supervision.

[3 months after]

“Are you sad that you’re not next to me?” Minhyuk teased through the phone.

He flew to Tokyo for a toy convention and he needs to stay for four days. The first day wasn’t hard to handle because they were busy preparing their booths, ToysWithMe has a great reputation when it comes to their high quality toys which makes them spend a lot of funds when it comes to conventions.

But the second day, he realized how lonely it was. He had a hard time sleeping last night without someone to hug, he tried it with the pillow but it’s not the same.

The urge to call Kihyun was insane but he can’t just call because why would he do that? In the middle of the night? They’re married but not to the point of… missing each other yet here’s Minhyuk calling Kihyun the moment the sun rose.

Kihyun hugged the other’s pillow tighter, inhaling his scent that lingered on it, “No.” He’s been up all night thinking if he should text Minhyuk goodnight but his pride is too strong that all he did was stare at the phone, hoping Minhyuk would do it first but no text came.

“Ah,” the coffee Minhyuk poured earlier has gone cold now, “I don’t really miss you either, it’s actually nice not to have you around.” The idea of drinking it disappeared from his mind when the taste was far from the coffee Kihyun makes for him every morning. Just two more days , he keeps reminding himself, and then he can finally come home.

“Right, it’s nice to have the house all to myself. I don’t have to clean after someone’s mess or dry the bathroom floor.” Kihyun chuckled. He used to hate wet bathroom floors but ever since he and Minhyuk started sharing the same one, he finds it weird not having to wipe it dry today.

“Did you eat breakfast?” CEO Lee answered, making the most out of the five minutes left before he needs to leave for the convention.

“Not yet, I just woke up.”

Grinning, Minhyuk asked, “Really? It doesn’t sound like you just woke up. Did you wait for me to call?”

“In your dreams. I just woke up for real.” Kihyun rose from the bed, his phone still against his ear, “You’re the one who called so early, why? Missing me?”

Minhyuk’s eyes widened, but he tried to laugh instead, covering up his surprise, “Yes.”

“What?” Kihyun stopped at his tracks after hearing that.

His husband on the other line remained silent, unsure if he really said yes or it was just a fragment of his imagination.

“What did you say?” Kihyun asked once more.

Minhyuk wanted to say a snarky remark but his mind was in total shock that all he could do was end the call.

Fuck, Minhyuk. What the fuck? What the actual fuck? What happened to never falling in love?

In Seoul, Kihyun removed his gaze from his phone and stared at the mirror instead. He was about to start brushing his teeth when Minhyuk suddenly ended the call. “Why the hell are your cheeks flushed, huh, Yoo Kihyun? We don’t know feelings . Feelings failed us once, we don’t do feelings anymore.”

He tried to put toothpaste on his toothbrush but his hand was shaking, “Damn.” He muttered, remembering how Minhyuk said yes with his husky voice, “Damn.”

They didn’t contact each other for the next two days while Minhyuk was in Tokyo. Kihyun came back to YKHard to distract himself from thinking about useless things and Minhyuk… he almost threw his phone off the building just to stop himself everytime he picked it up with the idea of calling his husband. He wanted to ask how Kihyun’s day went but he shouldn’t have asked that. He isn’t supposed to miss him, no. He should focus on his work. Kihyun is old enough to take care of himself, there’s no need to call him—but I want to call him—BUT I SHOULDN’T CALL HIM. Lee Minhyuk, fucking stop. Stop.

Kihyun came home earlier that night to prepare dinner for Minhyuk. who’s about to arrive from Tokyo, with no feelings attached. He just wanted to be nice. Minhyuk has been treating him well for the past months, it’s the least he could do.

Just come in then go straight to your bedroom and sleep. Minhyuk reminded himself so many times before he stepped inside their house but that plan was thrown out of the window when he came in and saw Kihyun setting up the table.

He was still wearing his white dress shirt from work, currently placing the knives and forks on the table. Minhyuk removed his grip from his luggage and watched Kihyun move around swiftly like he was showing off how he owns their kitchen.

Minhyuk knew he’s fucked when Kihyun smiled at the sight of the table. Boy, when did you become this wonderful? If Kihyun wasn’t too agitated whenever he saw Minhyuk before, will things be different than they are today? Had he stopped annoying Kihyun and befriended him instead, would they have the chance to avoid the affair?

He cleared his throat before Kihyun notices he’s been standing there for too long, “Hey.”

Yoo’s smile disappeared a little when he walked closer, Min thinks Kihyun isn’t too happy but the truth is Kihyun was just trying not to show how happy he really is now that Lee is back.

“You prepared this? Wow, did you do something wrong?” Min scanned the table and saw steak on their plates.

“I just wanted to cook something good tonight, it doesn’t really concern you.” Kihyun untied the apron and hung it near the oven. “Get your ass on your chair so we can eat now, I’m famished.”

They both settled on their seats and started eating. Minhyuk doesn’t know what to say, while Kihyun is too nervous to say something so they eat in silence.

Lee wanted to turn on the television but he remembered how Kihyun hates watching TV while eating. It’s too fucking awkward, Minhyuk hates silence and his lips are itching to say something.

Kihyun cleared his throat, slightly raising his head but still not meeting Minhyuk’s eyes, “About the action figures, I interviewed your team yesterday and I think the idea is fine. We can start it by next month.”

Minhyuk just stared at him when he tried to glance once.

“Thank you.”

Kihyun cursed inside his head. Can he stop speaking like that? Why does he even have that kind of voice? It’s so annoying. The back of his neck started to sweat. The heater is probably too high .

“I told you that it’s a good idea.”

Wow, even the sound of him trying to cut that steak is annoying me, Kihyun wants to throw something.

“It’s not that you’re teaching the kids to be violent. Your game is about surviving, right? Creating action figures and selling them to kids is not how you think it is. It’s also about teaching them to protect and fight for themselves.” 

Kihyun almost gasped when Minhyuk smiled, I want to run away. He held his knife tighter, crossing his legs under the table.

“You can’t just hope for enemies to go away without doing anything. You can’t win over guns with just hope.” Minhyuk licked the steak sauce from his lips, “Fighting is exciting, don’t you think?”

With his jaw clenched, Kihyun stood up, not liking the atmosphere. He feels weird, his skin feels like it’s flaming.

“Where are you going?” Minhyuk asked after he turned his back.

“Far,” he answered, unbuttoning his top. He needs air, or a shower, or a fan, anything! He needs to get away from here.

Lee stood up and ran after Kihyun, he knows what’s up and he’s also tried to fight what he’s feeling but it just doesn’t go away. Kihyun shoved his hand away when he tried to touch his wrist, “Don’t touch me!”

“Okay, I won’t, but will you be okay?”

The hallway near the stairs was dimly lit, Kihyun can only see half of Minhyuk’s face. They’re not even doing anything but why is he catching his breath? They are barely close but why does it feel like he’s in between his arms?

“I hate you.”

Minhyuk chuckled, his voice still annoyingly husky, “I hate you mor—” Kihyun threw all his principles away and brushed his lips against Minhyuk’s.

He’s quite aware that he isn’t supposed to do this but he can’t stop himself. There is just something that pulls him to Minhyuk and if he doesn’t do anything, he’ll be awake the whole night, suffering.

Smiling against Kihyun’s kisses, Minhyuk led both of them to the wall, his leg near the other’s groin, softly brushing against it.

Hearing Kihyun’s moans made Minhyuk smile even more.

He returned the same intense kisses, his hand both on his husband’s nape, pulling him closer. When Kihyun’s lips started traveling to his jaw, he had the chance to whisper in his husband’s ear, “I love it when you misbehave.”

Among the many rooms in their house, they turned one of them into Minhyuk's study. Kihyun has one too but lately, he’s been hanging out inside the former’s as well. He might not have mentioned it vocally but Lee. liked working better seeing Yoo around his area. Weirdly, it makes him feel motivated… and giddy.

After sending his last email, Kihyun turned to glance at Minhyuk who’s now wearing his glasses, his forehead also creased, “I like your hair short.”

The older removed his eyes from his own laptop, “Should I cut it?”

“I don’t know. What do you want to do with it?”

“You just said you like it short.”

“Yes and so? It's your hair.” The younger mentioned it without a hidden innuendo, he just… really liked the older’s hair short. It gives off the unyielding authoritative vibes, manipulative and cunning as well. Perfect for someone like Lee Minhyuk.

The other shrugged his shoulders, “I like whatever you want.”

Kihyun’s decisions have been turning into Minhyuk’s decisions too for some unknown reason.

“So you’ll cut it?”

“Yes.”

The younger arched a brow, “Why are you behaving this way?” He has always known the other to be someone who never follows orders, especially not his so what’s got to him now?

“Because you’re misbehaving more often, Yoo.”

“Shut up, Lee.”

A grin.

A grin that reminded him of a Cheshire cat was plastered on Lee Minhyuk’s face.

“Shut me up.”

Fuck.

Fuck you, Minhyuk . He thought. “I hate you.” He mumbled, not backing out from their staring game.

“Don’t worry, I loathe you.”

One night, the television showed a headline that made both of them silent. It’s Shownu recovering from his fracture, a picture of him with crutches and Hoseok beside him was flashed on the screen. Kihyun gripped the pillow beside him tighter, Minhyuk sat up from lying on Kihyun’s lap.

The latter didn’t know how to react. He was as flabbergasted as Kihyun is but this time, he feels a little scared and the reason remains unknown for him.

Another news claimed that the couple will attend the annual gathering of Kakao M. It's a huge party where most of the big time companies meet in one place. Businessmen use the event as a chance to attract more investors and tighten connection chains. The two received an invitation last week, it was only Minhyuk who’ll attend but this time…

“I want to come.” Kihyun whispered.

“No.”

“Lee, I want to go.”

“I said no. You’re not going there, I can’t let you.”

Yoo faced his husband, “Please, just let me see him. I just want to see him personally and check it myself that he’s alright!”

“What are you going to do there? Talk to him? Hoseok will be there! Everyone will be there! Do you want to bring back the affair?”

“No!” Kihyun didn’t mean to but he ended up raising his voice, “I won’t go near him, I’ll just… I just want to see how he is. I promise, I won’t talk to him. I’ll stick by your side.”

Deep inside, Kihyun still blames himself for what happened as he’s the last person Hyunwoo got to talk to before the accident happened. He probably drank too much because of the situation, or the words Kihyun said. He remembers it well; how he called him selfish numerous times, and bastard. Knowing how Hyunwoo is usually sensitive when it comes to how people perceive him, it must have broken him. Especially hearing those words from Kihyun who used to be someone who accepted him for who he is.

Minhyuk didn’t say anything after. He couldn’t even show Kihyun how disappointed he was. Why go there? There’s no reason for them to meet anymore, so why does he have to attend? It’s just… unfair that Kihyun keeps on coming back to the person who broke him.

The other touched Minhyuk’s hand, “This is the last time, Lee, and you’ll be there. You can stop me before I talk to him, which won’t really happen because trust me, I have no plans of doing that.”

Min’s eyes bore into Kihyun’s. Ah, I’m playing that role again, he thought.

Another day to patch the holes that Hyunwoo punched.

Kihyun already sensed Minhyuk’s disappointment ever since he mentioned wanting to go to the party. They were sleeping in the same bed but he wasn’t hugging Yoo anymore, they talk everyday but it sounds forced and boring. Ki thought he just needed to see Hyunwoo one last time before he fixes this problem with Min.

The ride on the way to the event was nerve wracking for Kihyun and just pure devastation for Minhyuk. None of them were speaking, both just wanted to end the night.

People were flocking in the event, the media were everywhere and loud chatters filled the hall. 

Minhyuk’s aura isn’t like his usual one. His brows were raised, and his stares were sharp, unlike his playful smile he always flashes to everyone. Kihyun’s eyes were busy roaming around, looking for someone that he never noticed how perplexed Minhyuk is right now.

“Mr. Lee!”

They both stopped when a middle aged man called Minhyuk’s attention. “Mr. Yoo.” He handed a glass of champagne to the couple, “I’d like to talk about a franchise in one of my malls in…”

Kihyun sipped his drink and let the two talk while he stood at the side, the topic doesn’t really concern his business so his opinion won’t be needed. He’s certain that Minhyuk can handle it on his own.

His attention was caught by a couple at the other part of the hall, Hyunwoo was standing next to Hoseok. They were both talking to a group of people who seemed to be asking about his injury as they kept pointing at his leg.

His smile, Kihyun thought. He still smiles like a seal. He’s still good at it, looking happy like that. Slowly remembering how Hyunwoo used to smile at him the same way too. He quickly looked away when Hyunwoo met his eyes. They aren’t supposed to be seen as if they were stealing glances, not here. Not when everyone is here.

He inserted his free hand in one pocket of his pants, his thumb scratching the side of his index finger. He’s fine now, Kihyun. You don’t have to feel guilty anymore. Moving closer to the busy Minhyuk who got so engrossed in the conversation, he wanted to ask him that they can go home now but he doesn’t have the heart to say that when Minhyuk has just started to loosen up. Maybe they can stay for a while.

He touched Minhyuk’s hand, the other turned to him and leaned closer, “I’ll just get some finger food.” He whispered.

Lee just nodded his head and looked around, “Come back quickly, okay?”

The table for the sweet treats was close enough, Ki chose to get those instead of going around the room for some tortas or potato bites. Should I get the brownies? Or the cookies? The parfait? Or the mousse? Kihyun stood there, not sure which ones to bring to their table. It would be too much to bring everything, right?

“Kihyun.”

Fuck. No. Not here. Kihyun pretended not to hear and just took the chocolate mousse so he could go back to their table but Hyunwoo spoke once more.

“Let’s talk.”

“No.”

“Just for the last time, then I’ll leave you alone. I promise.”

Minhyuk’s words, reminding Kihyun not to talk to Hyunwoo popped in his mind but the offer was tempting. Hyunwoo said it himself anyway, it will be the last time and he will leave Kihyun alone.

He tried to look around to see if anyone was watching and when he realized that no one really gives a damn about them, “This is the last.” He agreed.

They both went to the exit separately, Hyunwoo said he will be waiting at the fountain behind the hall. He said no one actually goes there so it will be safe for them. The November night feels cold, considering that Kihyun didn’t bring a coat because their original plan was to leave early anyway.

There were huge trees at the back of the hall, the fountain had no water and the area was quiet. It seemed eerie but since Hyunwoo stood next to the fountain, it became less of a horror scene.

“What do you want to talk about?” Kihyun stepped down the short stairs, approaching Hyunwoo. “Please keep it short, I don’t want anyone to see us together.”

Hyunwoo smiled faintly, “I just want to apologize for what happened. You were right, I was selfish. If I really loved you, I should’ve ended it with Hoseok instead of keeping both of you.”

“Your husband loves you.”

The other nodded, “I know.” A moment passed before he spoke again, “But I love you more.”

“Shut up, this is pointless. You are still so fucking selfish.” Kihyun tried to leave but Hyunwoo held his wrist, stopping him.

“But I won’t leave him.”

Fuck, that’s even more sick! Kihyun removed Hyunwoo’s grasp from him, “Your husband deserves someone better.”

“I know but I’m trying to fix my mistake. What is so wrong about that? I’m just here to apologize and say that I do love you more but I can see you’re alright now, being shown off to other people proudly by your husband. That was one thing I can’t ever do for you.”

“Are you done? I want to leave no—” Kihyun was caught off guard when Hyunwoo kissed him, he quickly pushed him away, “What the fuck? Are you serious?” Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he glared at Hyunwoo.

“I just wanted to see if you don’t really love me anymore.”

“I don—”

“Are you going home with me or with him?”

Kihyun found Minhyuk standing at the end of the stairs, “Lee, no. That wasn—”

“Answer me because I’d like to go home now.”

“I’m coming home with you.”

Min’s eyes landed on Son Hyunwoo who looked so unapologetic. How shameless is this guy? Just how greedy is it for him to be doing this to both Kihyun and his husband who did nothing but love him? Without saying anything he turned his back and went back to the main entrance where the valet was waiting, Kihyun tailing him.

The ride to hell. That’s how it felt as Kihyun sat in the passenger seat. Minhyuk’s harsh steps on the pedal and careless turns in the highway seemed like they were aiming for this ride to bring them to hell. He wanted to ask Minhyuk to slow down but he just couldn't.

The latter was feeling numb and heavy at the same time. It was silent inside the car but it’s like ringing bells in his ear. What he feared the most just happened. He knows how much Kihyun loves that man, he loves him enough to break his principles and who is Minhyuk to be put up against? He’s just a scapegoat here. No one.

No matter how hard he tries to focus on the road, the scene of them kissing was tattooed on his mind. Just when he’s trying to finally make this marriage work, that Son Hyunwoo really had to ruin it all.

Kihyun tried to call Minhyuk’s name but he never looked back. He kept walking until he entered the house, “Lee Minhyuk!”

Minhyuk climbed up the stairs and locked himself inside the bedroom. 

Yoo stared at the door that was just closed in front of his face, “Let me explain… at least, please.”

But he got nothing in return.

Bothered, he went back to his room to take a shower and brush his teeth. Hyunwoo played him dirty. Did he know that Minhyuk was there? Why did he do that anyway? Why isn’t he done with me yet?

After an hour, he checked Minhyuk’s room but he wasn’t there already.

He found his husband in his study, working in his worn out shirt and cotton shorts. His forehead was creased and even when Kihyun already entered the room, he acted like he didn't care or maybe he didn't really care, “Can we talk?”

Lee kept his eyes on his laptop, “There’s nothing to talk about.” Right now, Minhyuk is just done. He wants to keep his hands off the situations that he can’t fix or moreso, doesn’t want to be fixed.

“I didn’t kiss him.”

“I don’t want to talk to you right now so can you please leave?”

“He said he just wanted to apologize, I didn’t know that he will do tha-”

“For fuck’s sake, Kihyun!” Minhyuk yelled, “That man has been consistently lying to everyone and you believed him? Are you that stupid?”

“I’m sorry.” Kihyun lowered his head. Minhyuk was right anyway, he knew he couldn’t trust Hyunwoo but he still believed he had changed for the better especially that his husband accepted him again after everything. It’s stupid. “I didn’t really kiss him, please believe me.”

“Why wouldn’t you kiss him? I know how much you love him.”

Kihyun contemplated what he’s going to say next. This is not how he wanted to say it but the way Minhyuk talks to him right now makes him want to just let it all out, “I love you.”

Lee didn’t say anything. His stares are blank.

This is not how you play with my feelings, Kihyun. Do not lie to me like this. 

"You don't love me."

"I love you—"

"I said you don't love me. You need me. You just need me but you don't love me. You need me when things go wrong. You need me when things are hard. You need me when you don't want to be alone. You need me when you feel like falling. You just need me, Ki. But I'm tired of being a troubleshooter, a patch on a hole."

His eyes turned glossy while staring at Lee Minhyuk. Those words hurt like he was slowly being pricked by a thousand needles. It feels shitty that Lee Minhyuk assumes that he's wrong about his feelings. Did he think Kihyun wanted this too? He didn't, but he’s here now to acknowledge these emotions so how can Minhyuk deny these emotions than himself?

Minhyuk removed his glasses and leaned against his swivel chair, Kihyun felt small as he stood in front of CEO Lee's desk.

Letting out a sad smile, Minhyuk spoke, "I see how he kissed you. You love him, right? Maybe... maybe it's really him for you."

Kihyun stared straight at the eyes of the man in front of him, trying to think of other ways to make him believe about these feelings but it seems like Minhyuk already has this fixed belief in his mind.

"You looked at him the way you never looked at me. Do you know how you look at me every single time? It's like you're counting down the days we have to be together." Minhyuk shrugged his shoulders, "It's okay. I get it. I want out too." I'm tired of being half loved. I used to think that's better than not being loved at all but I realized it sucked more... it's like you know you deserve the love but not enough of it, so I'd rather not have anything at all.

“The real reason why I agreed so fast to marry you is because I don’t want you to be like the man my mother had. She kept telling me when I was younger that he was just a friend but she later on left with him. I wanted to save you from ruining someone else’s marriage, because maybe if I could do that, it’s like patching the hole from my childhood.” Minhyuk never talked to anyone about this, he kept it all to himself ever since he was young. For him, it’s the kind of past that should never be brought up again so he lived day by day, trying to make himself believe it never happened but it left a scar.

A deep one.

He wasn’t the one who’s been cheated on but it feels the same. Cheating is a fucking wound that never heals. It follows you around like your own shadow. It chokes you before you sleep. It slaps you as soon as you wake up. It just never leaves.

Being a child caught in between a cheater and someone who’s been cheated on, you grow up with this fear that everyone will leave you, that everyone will eventually leave. No matter who they are. No matter how much you love them. You learn to live your life treating that everyone is temporary and you are temporary to everyone. You question yourself everyday where you lacked, why can’t you be a reason to stay.

“I can’t do this, Kihyun. I thought I could but… what happened tonight,” he let out a sad smile, “it just brings back the nightmares.”

“I won’t cheat on you,” Kihyun felt weak, realizing where this conversation was going.

“That’s what my mother told my father too.”

Kihyun stared at the ceiling above, hoping the tears wouldn't fall, “I’m not your mother.”

“I know but my mind is too fucked, I’m not sure if we can live together without me constantly overthinking that one day you can replace me easily.” He touched the ring on his finger and slowly removed it, placing it on top of his desk, “I’m finished patching things for you, but I’d like to patch my own life too and I hope you can let me.”

Turning around, Yoo can no longer hold his tears which made Minhyuk’s eyes filled with tears. No matter how hard Kihyun tries to change himself, his past will always follow him. His mistakes will always be there. It’s unfair. It’s so unfair that the world isn’t letting him be happy, it’s like the whole world conspired against him. He’s being heartbroken again and it’s because he believed in Hyunwoo again. “A-Are we divorcing?” He cleared his throat, trying not to let his voice shake.

Because if that’s what Minhyuk wants, he’ll give it.

“I’m sorry if my apologies came late.”

Hoseok stared at Kihyun, “It’s okay. You’re not the one who has a bigger fault here,” he smiled, “it’s Hyunwoo. He’s the one married to me, he should’ve known better and I don’t think that you’d fall for him without him doing anything. If you were the one who seduced him, he should’ve refused.”

“But I should’ve avoided him too.”

Hoseok sipped some coffee and nodded his head, “Right. It’s good that you know.”

Silence.

“I don’t want you to think that I’m forgiving you already because I haven’t, I don’t think I can do that anytime soon. I agreed to meet because I don’t want the past to haunt me, I think I’ve been hurt enough already. Having another set of nightmares is too much, also it’s been a couple of years.”

“I’m really sorry, not just for what happened but also because I even invited you for coffee.”

“Thank you for the coffee,” Hoseok raised his cup, “and for showing me my ex’s true self. I was stupid for giving him countless chances, I’m so glad we’re done now, oh—wait, it’s already late. I should get going.”

“Wait, do you have plans for today?” He asked Hoseok who’s already picking up his things.

“Yes, in fact, I do.” Hoseok smiled, hanging the strap of his backpack on his shoulder, “I’ll search for happiness.”

Kihyun’s forehead creased at Hoseok’s remark but the latter started walking away. Hoseok’s phone beeped, making him smile upon seeing the message.

---

Hyungwon: Hyung, can I call you now?

Hyungwon: Hyung, are you busy?

Hyungwon: Hyung, can you call me once you’re done?

---

In the end, they’re all trying to patch the holes from the past and Hoseok? He’s slowly getting there, with no one’s help, for himself and for the person who’s always been waiting  for him.

While Minhyuk, he’s no longer someone who patches a hole for the void in his life that has been greatly filled by someone else.

The night when Minhyuk gave back his wedding ring to Kihyun, the latter knew it meant they were divorcing soon and he was right. It didn’t happen quickly, and to be honest, those were the months of torture and longingness that was so heavy Kihyun didnt know how to carry. It took five months of plain silence and pure self-blaming before the divorce papers came.

He expected it… but still, it hurt.

Patching holes.

Minhyuk realized that saving and loving Kihyun was also his way of patching the hole from his childhood. It was a form of compensation for the wounds that his mother caused and it wouldn’t be easy to live with his husband wondering if Ki truly loved him or his presence was just needed just so someone else can fix things when they go wrong

Patching holes. 

It’s actually how people live everyday. Each and everyone has this hole in them that needs to be patched but it is up to them if they’ll let other people do it for them or they’ll prefer to patch those holes themselves.

One could think that even if you patch a hole, it still looks weird, incomplete, a whole ass circus but the truth is, it will depend on how one patches it. A temporary one will reveal the hole soon enough, and ugly patch will make one hate everything completely, but some can find a beautiful and reliable patch to use when they are ready and when the time is right.

That patch might be Minhyuk for Kihyun but it certainly isn’t Kihyun for Minhyuk.

The younger accepted the fact that the older deserves a love that will not be questioned everyday if they will be left behind for someone else, if they will be cheated on again.

Kihyun’s past will always haunt them down and even though he loves the older so much, it would be a selfish thing to keep him and disregard his pain.

And so with a heavy heart, he signed the divorce papers with no hesitation.

Then two years later, he watched him fall in love once again with a person who won’t remind him of the pain, but someone who can prove him wrong, that there is no hole to patch in him. That he was lovely as he is.

On the other hand, Kihyun started his own journey… of finding a love that is wholeheartedly given to him without having to fight for it or spending the rest of his life proving his faithfulness. The journey might be long but crocheting a different cloth that will cover him with softness and warmth appears to surpass patching holes, embroidering a new definition of affection and adoration than the ones he used to know.