Chapter Text
Kei knew the second he locked eyes with the surprisingly quiet bundle in his arms, that he would never love anyone as much as he loved this boy. Not even his waste of space ex who brought this about, as unknowing as he was, could compare.
He stared at his son's face, ignoring any similarities to the man in question, and he felt as if he would explode from how much love was rushing through him. Through the white noise in his ears, he just made out the nurse asking for the information for the birth certificate.
‘His names Kyo. Kyo Tsukishima. No, no other father listed.’ The judgmental look from the nurse was ignored as he focused on the brand new face of his brand new son.
‘It’s me and you against the world, Kyo,’ he whispered gently, pressing his lips to Kyo’s forehead.
*
Kei was on autopilot. Grocery shopping was always, and will always be, his least favorite chore. There were always too many people in the store, and they were always out of whatever he needed, and his attempts at meal planning were thrown out of the window the second he stepped inside the store. Things were easier when Kyo was a cute little toddler, switching from strictly formula to baby puffs and rice, easy to make and easy to buy food. Sure, he was living on a diet of the cheapest rice and vegetables he could find then to scrape together enough money for Kyo’s food and daycare, but there were no decisions.
Now, his son had just turned 14 and would complain if he cooked the same meal twice in one week. Now, Kyo was two months into an early presentation, and the newly minted alpha was going to eat him out of house and home. The things we do for our kids, he thought to himself as he looked into the cart and realized he had packed it full of Kyo’s favorite lunch snacks only to remember that he didn’t need any of this.
After weeks of convincing, Kei had agreed to let Kyo go on his first trip without him with a friend’s family. He knew he was a bit over dramatic, but Kyo was his baby and he could feel his heart breaking every day he wasn’t home. But, he had to get used to it sooner or later. He figured this was a good time to start, a trip not too far with a friend whose parents he had met before. He still didn’t like it though, he mused as he backtracked, putting things he didn’t need back on the shelf.
‘Tsukki!’
He paused in his quest to put the cookies back on the shelf, turning his head. A flash of blonde streaked hair and a frantic wave caught his eye first and he turned around fully to greet Nishinoya.
‘Noya-san, I didn’t know you were back in town.’ He had been surprised at first when he had found himself growing closer to his former senpai. When he had been pregnant and miserable, for more than one reason, Nishinoya was one of the few people who wouldn’t look at him with pity. He was the unofficial godparent to Kyo and Kei was honestly shocked to see him.
‘Yeah! It was a spur of the moment thing, I was going to call you later today to come bug you. It’s a shame that Kyo and Ren aren’t due back until after I leave, I won’t see the punks 'til Christmas at this rate,’ he complained. Ren was Kyo’s best friend, and also the son of Saeko Tanaka, another surprising addition to Kei’s group of friends. She was a single parent as well, though hers was by choice. Despite her abrasive personality, she had been a big help to Kei those first few years. He hadn’t heard of Ren going on vacation, so he tilted his head, examining the side of a box of granola bars as he replied.
‘Oh, I didn’t realize Ren was out of town as well. Where did they go?’ He decided that the granola bars had too much sugar to be worth it, and tossed them back on the shelf as well. Nishinoya was staring at him with a weird look on his face so he stopped. ‘What?’
‘You took them to spend the week with your mom? Back home?’ He asked slowly. Kei furrowed his brows.
‘Sorry, I did what? Kyo’s with the Fujiwara’s and I haven’t seen Ren since before school let out?’
‘Are you sure? Saeko-nee said she dropped Ren off at your place on Tuesday so you could all leave?’
‘I wasn’t even home on Tuesday, I had to go in to work early. I /know/ I wasn’t home because that’s when the Fujiwara’s were picking up Kyo.’ Kei’s blood is beginning to run cold, his skin feeling clammy. He had a terrible feeling. ‘Wait. Hold on, maybe Ren just went with them and didn’t want his mom to know.’ He pulled out his phone, dialing up his son’s friend’s mom. He had told Kyo he wouldn’t bother them but this was an exception to the rule.
‘Hello?’
‘Ah, hello. I’m so sorry to bother you, it’s Tsukishima Kei, Kyo’s father.’ He held his finger up to Nishinoya, waiting for her reply.
‘Oh yes! Oh, we were so sorry to hear about Kyo. We were so looking forward to having him on the trip. How’s his leg?’
Kei was going to be sick. ‘I’m sorry?’
‘Oh, don’t worry, Riku told us what happened. A broken leg right before summer break? What terrible timing, huh?’
‘I’m sorry, I have to go.’ He hung the phone up and looked up at Nishinoya. He must have looked as terrible as he felt because the shorter man grabbed him by the elbow and led him out of the store. ‘He’s not with them. He’s not with them?’ He choked out, starting to panic. His fingers were starting to shake and he had to hit Kyo’s contact a couple of times before it registers his intent and dials his son. He can hear Nishinoya making excuses, but all he can focus on is the sound of the phone ringing, ringing, ringing with no answer. His heart is ponding. He’s seconds away from a full blown panic attack when Kyo’s voicemail picks up. He smashes the contact button again, and again, and again, until Nishinoya takes the phone from him. He knows he must look like a mess but he doesn’t care.
His brain is cycling back through everything. Kyo, newborn and snuggly in his arms, his first steps as he toddled towards Kei with his arms out, his shrieks of laughter as Kei chased him around the yard, even his snarky comments that seemed to fly more and more as puberty and his presentation settled in.
Where is his son?
*
‘I can’t believe we’re doing this,’ Ren hissed as Kyo pulled him into an alleyway.
‘What’s not to believe! We’re here, in Tokyo, seconds away from meeting my father. Well, my other one.’ Kyo grinned, excitement coloring his features. ‘Do you think he’ll look like me? I have my dad's eyes or so he says, but look at this! Do you think he shares the same mess?’ He asks, pointing to his head.
His dad never talked about his other father, no matter how much he begged for stories. It had been a fluke, a friend of a friend's sister with one of those ancestry type dna kits that she wasn’t using. Ren knew how much he wanted to meet his other father, so he brought it over and together they snuck it to the post office. The results had pointed him in the direction of a Kuroo Tetsurou, a CEO of a family owned business. Further digging through the boxes in Kyo’s attic found pictures of a man who looked close enough to Kyo and this Kuroo character who was hanging all over his dad. It had to be him, right? So with some crafty planning, and a guilt trip to get Ren to agree to help him, they set off to meet this man.
Now they were here, hiding behind the Kuroo Corp building while Kyo thinks of a way inside. ‘I wonder if it’ll be coming on too strong if I just barge up to the front desk and tell them I’m his son.’
‘I’m almost positive they would throw you out. Or call the cops on us. Oh, god. I’m going to be sick, my mom will kill me if I’m arrested.’
‘No way, Saeko-nee would totally love that! She’s such a stick it to the man type person,’ he consoles his friend.
‘Not for me! She’d like have me drawn and quartered dude.’
‘I don’t even know what that means, but it sounds fake. Stop panicking, I should be the one panicking.’ He points to himself. ‘Instead, I’m going to make life my total bitch and I’m going to go in there and meet Kuroo 'probably my dad' Tetsurou whether he likes it or not!’
‘That is why I’m panicking!’ Ren’s complaints go unheard as Kyo, with the air of a naive and newly presenting alpha, strolls into the building. Ren says a quick prayer to his mother and then follows. Kyo’s apparent plan is to get as high as they can go before asking for help, because he tries to stroll for the elevators but they’re stopped by the lady at the front desk.
‘Excuse me? Boys? Can we help you?’
‘Oh, I’m just headed up.’ Kyo tries to flash a grin at her but she simply raises her eyebrows.
‘Oookay. For what?’
‘I have a meeting with my father. Wait, do you not know who I am?’ He fakes being shocked, and Ren starts to hyperventilate behind him. After a quickly thrown elbow, Ren claps his hands to his mouth and looks away.
‘No, sorry. Now who’s your father sweetie? I can send him down for you.’
‘Oh god,’ Ren whispers.
‘Oh, Kuroo Tetsurou, duh,’ Kyo says with no shame. It startles a laugh out of the secretary but she quickly tries to quiet down when Kyo’s face falls.
‘Hold please.’ She picks up her phone and turns her head to the side so they can’t see what she’s saying.
‘Dude, we need to run. She’s calling the police now, I know it.’
‘Shut up, she’s only going to call cause you look like I’m kidnapping you!’
‘If we get caught that’s what I’m telling them happened.’
‘Are you sure?’ The lady's shocked voice catches their ears and they turn back to her. ‘If you say so.’ She hangs up the phone and walks out from behind the counter. Kyo feels Ren tense up, but she simply walks over to the furthest elevator and swipes a badge. She turns back to the boys, gesturing for the elevator. ‘Kuroo-sama is waiting for you at the top floor. Have a nice meeting.’
Kyo turns to Ren, dumbfounded. They both stare at each other until she clears her throat, and Kyo jumps to action. He pulls Ren behind him to the elevator, turning his attempt at a charming smile at the lady one more time. ‘Thanks, I’ll be sure to tell my father you need a raise.’ She laughs again as the doors shut. Once the elevator starts moving, Kyo laughs. ‘Oh I knew it dude. I knew it! He has to be my dad, this is like fate.’ He’s practically vibrating with excitement as they ascend. At the top floor they’re greeted by another secretary who leads them into what must be Kuroo’s office.
‘Kuroo-sama is finishing up with a meeting and then he’ll be right in.’ She leaves them both with a cup of tea.
‘Dude we’re so high up,’ Kyo exclaims. ‘I feel like I’m in a like movie or something. Like I’m about to meet the king who secretly had me and had to give me up to save me or some shit.’
‘Hey,’ Ren argues. ‘Let’s not forget your dad back home. It’s not like you were abandoned.’
‘You know what I mean,’ he whines, shooting a look at his friend.
‘Can you just sit down before you break something. You’re sending my nerves through the roof!’
‘Oh my god, you sound like you’re eighty.’ Kyo huffs, flopping back into the chair. Ren opens his mouth to reply but he’s interrupted by the door opening. They both whip their heads to the door as Kuroo walks in. All of Kyo’s earlier bravado is gone as he walks around to his desk, grey eyes taking in the two boys sitting in front of him. He’s impeccably dressed, and his scent is reigned in but clearly strong.
‘So do I want to know who sent you?’ He sighs, sitting in his seat.
‘Uh…I…us? We sent ourselves?’ Kyo was stuttering, almost awestruck by the man in front of him. He vaguely registered his phone ringing in his pocket, but he didn’t look at it. Ren was frozen next to him, looking back and forth between the two alphas.
‘You sent yourself? How old are you? Twelve?’
‘Fourteen!’ Kyo sputters. ‘I know it’s weird or whatever but look!’ He grabbed the ancestry paperwork and tried to hand it to Kuroo, but Kuroo didn’t reach out for it.
‘Look, kid. I’m sorry if you feel like you wasted your time but I can guarantee I’m not your dad. Especially not if you’re 14,’ he says, trying to gently let him down.
‘Your phone,’ Ren hisses as Kyo’s phone continues buzzing in his pocket.
He ignores it still. ‘How can you say that when you won’t even look at what I’m showing you?’
‘Unless it’s a court ordered DNA test, which I don’t remember doing, it’s not changing my mind. I’m sorry if your mother lied about me, but it’s not possible.’
Kyo’s phone has finally stopped ringing, and he’s about to retort when Ren shouts.
‘Oh my god, we’re so dead. Kyo!’ It’s his phones turn to ring, and he turns the screen to face Kyo. His face crumples as he sees his dad’s contact ringing through Ren’s phone.
‘Ignore it, I’m not with you, remember!’ He turns back to Kuroo to continue arguing but the alpha is pale and frozen in his seat, staring at Ren’s phone. Kyo looks back at it. Ren’s contact photo for his dad is a picture of Kyo and his dad from a few years ago. He had teased Ren for customizing his dad’s photo but maybe this will work for him. Clearly Kuroo recognized his dad, that’s why he looks like that. Ren’s phone turns black as the call disconnects.
‘Who was that?’ Kuroo asks carefully.
‘My dad, shit. He’s gonna call me again, nobody talk!’ His prediction rings true, and this time when his phone rings he picks it up, on speakerphone. ‘Hey dad! Sorry I missed your first call, I left my phone in the other room.’
‘I’m sure. How are the Fujiwara's treating you?’ His dad’s voice rings through the phone and Kyo doesn’t miss the full body flinch Kuroo has at the sound.
‘Oh, good! We’re having a blast.’ He hopes he sounds convincing.
‘Hm. And Ren? How is he?’ Ren turns green in his seat and moans, dropping his head in his hands. Kyo shoots him a glare and continues.
‘Uh, not sure. I haven’t talked to him in a few days, I haven’t really been glued to my phone,’ he lets out a fake laugh.
‘Kyo Tsukishima if you do not tell me where you are right now so help me.’ Oh no. Oh he sounds pissed.
‘I’m with the-‘
‘Choose your next words wisely. I know you’re not with them, did you think I would let my son go off and look the other way?’ His voice is rising as he speaks and Kyo can feel himself wilting in his seat.
‘Okay! Okay, I’m with Ren but like it’s fine, it’s not a big deal.’
‘Not a big deal?’ He hisses, and Kyo realizes he said the wrong thing. ‘Do you have any idea how it feels to suddenly have a missing child?’
‘I’m not missing, I’m in Tokyo!’
‘Oh, wow, that’s so much better Kyo! My 14 year old son who’s supposed to be on the other side of the country with a trusted adult is instead in the busiest city in the country alone with his 14 year old friend! Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?’
‘There are teenagers who live in the city who walk around alone all the time! What’s the difference?’ Kyo can feel himself getting agitated, something he was feeling quicker and quicker since his presentation. It was hard for him to get a hold of his emotions and he knows he’s snapped at his dad more than once recently, but even remembering the immediate guilt afterwards couldn’t stop him from doing it the next time.
‘Those people live in the city! They know how to react in bad situations, and even then aren’t always okay! And they have people who are waiting for them and who know where they are. What would you have done if Ren presented in the middle of a crowd? Or if something happened to you? No one would’ve known you were missing, /I/ wouldn’t have known where to find you!’ His dad’s voice is strained and he can tell that he’s most likely been crying. All of his points are technically true, each one stabbing into Kyo. He had a plan, maybe he didn’t think of all of the problems, but he wasn’t a child. ‘Do I even want to know what the hell you’re doing in Tokyo? What was so important you couldn’t just ask me to take the two of you down for the day?’
‘You wouldn’t have done it!’ He accuses. Kuroo, finally recovering from the shock of hearing Tsukishima’s voice for the first time in 14 years, looks like he’s about to reply, but the voice on the phone doesn’t leave a second for him to cut in.
‘That is easy to say when you didn’t ask. Where are you right now? I’m coming to get you.’
‘No! We got here just fine, we’ll make it back fine!’
‘The /only/ other option is I send Saeko-nee after the two of you!’
‘Dude, tell him. I cannot spend that car ride with my mother!’ Ren panics from the side. Finally, Kyo cracks.
‘Fine! You want to know where I am? I’m in Kuroo Corp Tower, sitting in the CEO’s office!’
The silence from the phone is deafening. Internally, Kyo is celebrating having the upper hand in the argument.
‘You’re where?’ His dad chokes out.
‘You heard me! You never tell me anything about my father, it’s not fair! But I figured it out and we came to see him.’
‘Tsukishima,’ Kuroo cuts in.
All of the wind soaring beneath Kyo’s proverbial wings is ripped out from beneath him at the sound his dad makes over the phone. A pained sound that clearly came from deep within him, that he couldn’t hold back even as he tried. Kyo had never heard his dad sound so defeated before, and all of the anger evaporates as his heart sinks to his stomach. Kuroo continues on like he didn’t hear it.
‘The boys can stay in my office until you get here for them. What’s your ETA?’
‘Four hours,’ he replies after a far too long pause.
‘Okay. I’ll tell security to look for you.’
Kyo goes to say something else but his dad hangs up on him. He forces himself to drag his eyes up to the man in front of him, but Kuroo is looking out of the window. He sees the alpha clench his jaw before he stands up, abruptly.
‘Excuse me for a moment. I’ll send my secretary in to see if you’re hungry in a minute.’ He leaves without looking at either of them, and Kyo sinks back into his chair. Ren tries to offer words of comfort, but Kyo turns away from him. His friend says nothing as he wipes the tears from his eyes, and when the secretary comes in with a fake smile on her face, asking what they would like from a local take out place, Ren orders for both of them.
They don’t see Kuroo again until the four hours is almost over, which has just brought the anger that had disappeared earlier back to Kyo’s blood. He was most likely grounded for the rest of the summer, this was his one chance at meeting his father and he couldn’t even make the effort to get to know him. He couldn’t postpone whatever it was he left for until Kyo was dragged back home. Four hours wasn’t enough to make up for 14 years of absence, let alone the maybe 15 minutes they had now.
God, his dad was so overbearing. He had already met him, and their reactions had already basically confirmed that he was Kuroo’s son, what was the harm in letting them have time to bond?
Instead, Kuroo comes back into the room like nothing had happened, and makes small talk with Ren while Kyo fumes. They do leave openings for him to join the conversation but he silently vows to only reply when Kuroo speaks to him directly. It takes ten minutes(two thirds of their time, down the drain!) for Kuroo to turn to him. He keeps his eyes pinned to Kyo’s forehead, and his tone nonchalant.
‘So. You presented as an alpha recently, hmm?’
‘Yes,’ he sulks. This isn’t what he wants to talk about.
‘At fourteen? That’s pretty young for an alpha.’ He misses the glare Kyo sends him with how he’s refusing to make eye contact.
‘A modern miracle,’ he rolls his eyes. He sees the clenching of Kuroo’s jaw again at his sarcasm.
‘And schooling, how is it going for the both of you?’
‘This is so stupid!’ Kyo bursts out. ‘Why couldn’t you have told him to come later on? And now you want to talk about school?’
‘Would you prefer we talk about the weather? Or we can talk sports, but I only really follow volleyball anymore,’ Kuroo hums.
‘No! We can talk about like you getting to know me. Or like me getting to know you. Aren’t you curious at all?’
‘I’m sorry if this has been a disappointing meeting for you, but cut me some slack, kid. This is the first I’m hearing about you, it’s a lot to process.’
‘What do you mean the first time? My dad didn’t tell you?’ Kyo questions, but they’re interrupted by the secretary buzzing in that their guests are on the way to the office now.
‘Guests? Like plural? Oh my god, if they brought mom, Kyo I’m so disowning you!’ Ren panics.
‘There’s no way Saeko-nee would ever be called a guest,’ he reassures his friend. ‘It’s probably Yamaguchi or Aki-nii, you know my dad didn’t drive himself four hours away.’
‘You’re right. If it was mom they would’ve been here two hours ago,’ Ren reasons, sitting back down from where he had stood looking for a place to hide.
‘One of these days you’re going to get over your fear of your mom.’
‘If his mom is Saeko Tanaka, maybe it’s best that he doesn't.’ Kuroo joins in, as his fingers tap nervously at the desk.
‘Oh! You know my mom?’ Ren asks. Kuroo nods but is saved from further conversation when the door opens. His dad walks in with Nishinoya, an unexpected partner. Kyo barely notices him as he looks at his dad. His eyes are rimmed with red and his clothes, while still fashionable in the uncanny way his dad had of looking like a model, were rumpled as if he had spent the car ride folded in on himself. Most glaring though, is the lack of scent coming from him. His dad’s scent had been his go to comfort scent since he had been born. Anytime he had felt sad, he would bury his face in his dad’s shirt and let the strawberry and honey scent wash over him. The lack of it was incredibly jarring, and Kyo felt his mouth open and close while he looked closer at his dad to see scent patches slapped on his neck.
‘Ah, Nishinoya-san. What a surprise.’ Kuroo breaks the silence first, and Kyo whips his head back to look at him. He greets Nishinoya first? Not his dad?
‘We’re leaving.’ It’s not Nishinoya who replies, but his dad. He can feel the anger coming back despite himself.
‘Why?’ His dad’s eyes snap to him, frowning.
‘Because I said so. Let’s go.’
‘You just got here. We just got here! We’re already here, why do we have to go?’
‘Kyo, I’m not arguing with you.’ His dad sounds tired and part of him is screaming at himself to stop.
‘God, sometimes I can’t stand you!’ He ignores the flash of hurt across his dad’s face. ‘Is this why you two didn’t stay together? He wasn’t around because you couldn’t not be in control for once!’
‘We can talk about this in the car. Let’s go.’ Tsukishima steps closer to Kyo, wrapping a shaking hand around Kyo’s arm.
‘No, kid. I already said I didn’t know about you. Were you ever going to tell me?’ Kuroo asks, leaning against his desk. Tsukishima ignores him.
‘Kyo, you’re already in enough trouble,’ he says but Kyo doesn’t care.
‘He’s my father and I want to stay here!’
‘I’m your father! My name is on your birth certificate, not his. What, you do some googling and decide he’s your dad and that’s it?’
‘You know a DNA test could change that.’ Tsukishima stills, finally looking at Kuroo. ‘The courts don’t look kindly on omegas who hide kids from their alpha parent.’
Kyo winces as Tsukishima’s hand tightens unconsciously. ‘I don’t care if I have to sell everything I own for court fees, I will not let you take him from me.’
‘Is that why you didn’t tell him about me?’ Kyo asks, shaking his arm free. ‘You didn’t want the courts to tell you he had the right to see me?’
‘I tried! Is that what you want to hear?’ Tsukishima’s voice breaks in the middle of his sentence, and tears start rolling down his face. ‘That I begged him to listen to me for five minutes but I wasn’t even worth that to him? Does that make you feel better, Kyo?’
‘No! I would’ve felt better if you would’ve just given me to him instead of ruining my life!’ The second the words are out Kyo knows he’s gone too far. If not for the gasp Ren lets out in the corner, or the way Nishinoya steps in between everyone, it’s in the visible flinch that his dad does, pulling his hand to his chest as if he was burnt. It’s in the way all of the fight leaves his dad’s eyes.
‘That’s enough.’ Nishinoya touches Tsukishima’s shoulder, gently pushing him the direction of the door. ‘Kei, go to the car. Ren, go with him.’ He waits until they follow his directions, and then he turns to Kuroo. Kyo looks at his father, but Kuroo’s eyes are glued to the door where his dad has disappeared. He can’t read the look on his face, but he turns to Nishinoya when the shorter man clears his throat. He doesn’t say anything, but Kuroo nods.
‘You should go,’ Kuroo says to Kyo.
‘But-‘
‘Here.’ Kuroo hands him a card with a cell phone number scrawled on the back. ‘Text me in a few days, we’ll talk.’
He doesn’t wait for Kyo to reply, or look back at Nishinoya’s disapproving glare, but instead heads out a different set of doors. Kyo can’t make eye contact with his pseudo-uncle but he follows him down to the elevator, silent.
**
Kei can’t breathe. He doesn’t think he has taken a full, steady breath since Nishinoya had first questioned his son’s whereabouts. He should be furious, with Kyo for disobeying him, with Kuroo for the threats, with himself for letting it come to this, but all he feels is a familiar numbness creeping into his bones. Ren is silent behind him, and when they get to the car and Kei slides into the backseat to press his head against the window, he takes the front passenger seat.
It should comfort him, knowing he would be sharing the backseat with his son. He can’t feel anything though, besides the warm air making the car window clammy against his head. Nishinoya comes out shortly after, a sullen Kyo trailing behind him. Kei simply closes his eyes.
The car ride back is quiet. Nishinoya turns on some station where the songs are in a language Kei doesn’t know. Ren sits up front and tries to make small talk with Nishinoya, but it trails off quickly, killed by the lack of participation from the back seat. Kyo has his arms crossed as he stares out of the window. Kei’s mimicking him unbeknownst to either of them.
Nine months and 14 years, he had given everything he had for his son. He was stuck in a vicious loop, remembering how scared he had been when he realized that on top of his entire world crashing around him when Kuroo had thrown him to the curb, he was pregnant. How furious he was when Kuroo wouldn’t listen to him. And the depression that had taken over, and how hard he had worked to bring himself back to his former self. Remembering how he had known that no matter what had happened, he would always have his son.
That was a lie, huh? Now his son couldn’t stand him and now, now Kuroo had a free path to ruining Kei once more. Taking his love and spitting on it back in the day wouldn’t be enough for him, no. Kuroo would come after Kyo, if he was anything like his father. Kei wouldn’t survive it this time, he was positive.
The loss of his son would be too much for him to bear.
The four hours passed in a blur of pain and numbness, neither one staying for too long. By the time they were pulling back onto Kei’s street, the sun was starting to set but it was still early enough out that Saeko, who was alerted to their kid’s joyride to Tokyo by Nishinoya on the way back, was standing in his driveway waiting for them. They were barely out of the car before she started yelling. First, at her son, and then turning her sights on Kei.
‘I cannot believe your son convinced mine to go to Tokyo alone! And lied to me about you taking him! What if he would’ve—‘
‘I’m going to bed.’ Kei cuts her off, grabbing his keys and unlocking his door. He vaguely registers Nishinoya in the background, telling Saeko who they had gone to Tokyo to see. He didn’t stop to listen, didn’t stop to see if Kyo locked the door or wanted dinner, he just heads to his room and collapses on the bed. He pulls his blankets up over his head and squeezes his eyes shut, trying to fall asleep quickly. It doesn’t work, his brain runs and runs through scenarios of Kuroo coming to take Kyo away from him, of Kyo running away and not coming back, until finally his exhaustion takes over and he passes out.
When he wakes up, there's noise in the kitchen down the hall. He doesn’t look at his phone, he doesn’t care what time it is or who might have reached out to him last night. It takes all of his energy to drag himself out of bed and into his bathroom. He claws off the scent patches while holding his breath, slapping a new one on before letting himself breathe in. Yesterday when Kyo had told them where he was he could feel his scent souring immediately. By the time they were off the phone, he had sent himself into a full panic attack and Nishinoya had dug around in the backseat of his car until he had found some scent patches to help block out the scent for him. He couldn’t bring himself to see if it had improved.
He trudges into the kitchen to see his son rummaging in the fridge, a plate of eggs sitting next to him. Kyo looks up at his footsteps but glances back down into the fridge without acknowledging Kei. Kei didn’t know what to do. They had been having smaller disagreements lately with Kyo’s temper trying to adjust to his new hormones, but never anything like the day before. He forces himself to start a pot of coffee, trying to follow a routine to get his brain back on track. Kyo finally finds what he was looking for and shuts the fridge, balancing a drink in his arm as he picks up his plate. He clears his throat and looks at Kei, clearly trying to ignore what had happened the day before.
‘Sorry, didn’t know you were up or I would’ve made you some too.’ Kei hums, pulling out his mug for the coffee. ‘I uh, after I eat I was gonna head to Ren’s for a bit. He got a new game we were gonna try out.’
‘No.’
‘What do you mean no?’ He pauses in the doorway. Kei turns to look at him, eyebrows raised.
‘Kyo. There is no way you are not grounded after the last few days. You’re not hanging out with anyone today. And I want your phone, you can spend the day in your room, doing your schoolwork.’
‘You can’t take my phone, I need it!’
‘There is no one who needs to get in contact with you who doesn’t have my number. You’re 14, you do not need it.’ Kyo slams his plate on the counter, digging in his pocket for his phone.
‘Kuroo told me I could text him in a few days,’ he admits, suddenly not making eye contact with Kei. Kei breathes in through his nose and out through his mouth, trying to work through the pain that still shoots through him at the mention of his ex.
‘And that can wait until after you’re ungrounded,’ he concedes, holding his hand out for the phone. Kyo finally drops it in his hand and looks back up at him.
‘What about practice?’
‘You were excused from practice for the break anyways, we’ll see how I feel when school starts back up.’ He had talked with the coach of Kyo’s baseball team, getting him excused to go on the trip. He wondered briefly if Kyo had ever planned to go on that trip or if he was making excuses even then to go to Tokyo.
‘That’s so unfair, dad!’ Kyo snaps, grabbing his plate and storming off. He hears his door slam shut and immediately feels all of the energy drain from him. He abandons the coffee pot, and decides he’s allowed to have one day in bed. He curls back up and drifts off.
This time, his dreams are full of his time with Kuroo. When he used to be Tetsu, they would spend their free times laying in each other’s beds, letting the breeze through the window wash over them as they made love. When they would spend their evenings out in crowded bars and restaurants, surrounded by their friends and people who loved them. People Kei hadn’t heard from in 14 years, with the exception of Bokuto who still texts him regularly. When Tetsu had sworn he would love him forever, and that they would be the perfect mates. They had just started to shift to the day Tetsu became Kuroo again, when he had thrown Kei away like trash to take a position in his dad’s company. Kei had begged, pleaded, crying as he told Kuroo that he didn’t have to do this, all while Kuroo stood there with a stone face, packing Kei’s things in a suitcase for him, when he was woken up. He opened his eyes to see a forced smile on Nishinoya’s face as he hovered over him.
‘Good morning sleepy head. I brought over dinner,’ the short alpha explains, tugging on Kei’s blankets. Kei grumbles but lets go, and he ignores the frown when Nishinoya realizes he’s in the same clothes from the day before.
‘What time is it?’
‘Late. I already brought Kyo his share of food. Don’t worry, he’s still in his room,’ Nishinoya says as he walks around Kei’s room, tidying things up. It wasn’t bad, Kei just didn’t have the energy to put away the laundry he had been planning to do before everything happened yesterday.
‘Okay. I’m not hungry,’ he says, trying to lie back down but Nishinoya is faster. He pulls the blankets out of Kei’s reach.
‘Too bad. Get up, go shower and take off the scent patch, and come to the kitchen to eat.’ Kei hesitates with his hand halfway to his neck.
‘I don’t want to take it off,’ he admits, looking away from Nishinoya.
‘You can keep it on for dinner on one condition: you let me scent you after dinner.’
Kei scowls, but he knows this game. When Kuroo had first left him, if it wasn’t for his old group of friends from high school, he didn’t think he would’ve made it. They took turns, mostly, helping pull him back out, but nature forced Nishinoya and Hinata to the the top of the list of people who pulled him back when he got too far in his own head. Going from an omega that was constantly covered in his alpha’s scent, to having nothing but his own was so jarring he couldn’t stop himself from covering himself in scent patches, trying to hide the missing scent. Nishinoya and Hinata were the only alphas he would let near him to scent him, and together they helped him break the scent patch habit before his son was born.
His son, who currently hated him, he thought bitterly as he stood.
He forced himself to shower because he knew Nishinoya wasn’t above dragging him in there by force, and immediately changed back into lounge clothes. He had called his job when he found out Kyo was missing and called out for the rest of the week, and he was going to use that time off in bed. He walked into the kitchen and allowed Nishinoya to hand him a plate, and started picking at the food. Nishinoya made small talk as he ate, and Kei nodded along. He washed the dishes as Nishinoya put the rest of the food away, trying to delay having to take the scent patch off. It didn’t take long though, and he found himself back in bed just ripping the bandaid off. They fell back into their old routine, and soon the two of them were curled in Kei’s bed with Nishinoya’s citrusy scent covering the room. It was quiet to start, Nishinoya was giving Kei time to gather his thoughts.
‘Thanks,’ he finally mutters when he’s calm enough to not panic over his souring scent. ‘Sorry, I didn’t think it would hit me this hard again.’
‘You don’t have to thank me and you definitely don’t have to apologize! What kind of senpai would let his cute little kohai be alone right now?’ Kei snorts at his words. ‘And to top it all off, I’ve got Yamaguchi coming over tomorrow, Saeko-nee will be over the day after, and then I’ll come back the next day before I leave again. You know you don’t have to do this alone.’ Kei nods.
‘How mad at me is Saeko?’ He asks, recalling her harsh words the day before.
‘At you? She’s not. At Ren and Kyo? She’s still pissed. That’s why she’s third, give her alpha time to calm down before chucking her loose at Kyo. Although maybe he deserves it,’ he trails off. The conversation lulls from there, and by the time Nishinoya goes to leave, Kei is asleep again. He leaves a fresh package of scent blockers on the nightstand in case Kei needs them, and heads out.
The next few days is a rotation of people in and out of the house. Kei tries to shake the claws of depression from himself, but even with all of the help from his friends and family, he’s barely treading water. He checks Kyo’s phone daily, waiting on a message from Kuroo to appear. Their relationship is still strained. Kyo doesn’t seem like he has any intention of apologizing for the other day, and he bounces between trying to act like nothing is wrong and being sullen and moody that he’s still grounded.
It’s the last day of break and Kyo goes back to school tomorrow, and he goes back to work. He’s sitting at the table in the kitchen working on catching up on his emails as Nishinoya tells Kyo about his newest destination and catches him up on the stories from his last trip. His phone buzzes, and he switches to the messaging app assuming it’s one of his friends only to freeze when he sees who it’s from. Akaashi Keiji, a friend of his from his days with Kuroo who had clearly chosen Kuroo over him. This was the first he was hearing from him since Kuroo had dumped him. The message was long, but to the point.
‘Tsukishima-kun. I hope this is still your number. This is Akaashi Keiji. I know the timing must seem awfully convenient but please know I do not have any ulterior motives. Kuroo told me what happened the other day and I wanted to reach out. I do miss your friendship and would like to rectify the distance between us.’
Kei considers it for a minute, and then a flash of anger rolls through him. While he’s glad for the first emotion other than dread or the complete numbness he’s been feeling the last few days, the anger only lasts until after he’s replied.
‘Yes, the timing is completely convenient. Forgive me for not believing that you suddenly care after 14 years of silence.’
His finger hovers over the block button, but instead he just mutes the conversation and tunes back into the scene in his kitchen. Nishinoya and Kyo are both eating and Kei picks up his fork, taking a few bites of his own plate, which miraculously appeared in front of him. The topic seems to have switched to Kyo’s upcoming season and the odds of him being a starter even though he was a first year.
‘I probably won’t start, but I’m hoping to get some actual game time. There’s a lot of good third years but only a few second years who actually try so I should be able to fly past them in terms of batting order. Well, that is, if dad lets me go to practice.’
Kei hears the attitude in his voice, but he doesn’t have the energy to argue anymore. It’s been draining, the last few days. His energy was already low as he dealt with the fallout from seeing Kuroo again, and Kyo had been trying to start tiny arguments every time they were in a room together. Kei wasn’t proud to admit he had been agreeing to most things just to get Kyo to drop it.
‘School, practice, home.’ He says. Kyo’s shoulders, hunched and prepared for a fight, drop.
‘Sweet. Can I get my phone back?’
‘In the morning.’ He dumps the majority of his plate into a container to put in the fridge while Nishinoya badgers Kyo until he agrees to do the dishes. He tells the both of them that he’s heading to bed early to be prepared for work and leaves them to it. Before he falls asleep though, Nishinoya bounds into his room, demanding one more scenting before he heads out of town.
‘Kei,’ he yawns, directly into Kei’s ear. ‘If you need me to stay longer, I can postpone my trip.’
‘I’ll be fine. Promise.’
‘If you’re not, call me. Let me crash here tonight.’
‘No. You snore.’
Nishinoya gasps, but gets out of the bed. He ruffles Kei’s hair before he leaves. Kei sets an alarm on his phone after he watches him go, and closes his eyes until the morning.
**
Kyo was not having a good time. Well scratch that-school was okay, practice went great even with him missing a week’s worth, but the thought of going home filled him with a dread he didn’t know how to handle. He knew his dad was mad at him, that he could handle. He knew he had crossed a line with his words and actions and was waiting for the punishment to come down, because there’s no way a three day grounding was all that he was getting. His dad had grounded him for two weeks when he had accidentally broken a neighbor's window with one of his balls, this seemed like a much severe offense.
But nothing was happening. He spent every second in the house feeling on edge, waiting for the shoe to drop, but it didn’t. He had even resorted to continuing his shitty behavior, making comments that he wouldn’t have dared to a few weeks ago. He was being sarcastic and rude to his dad, trying to rile him into a fight, but he wouldn’t take the bait. Worse than that, he was wearing his scent blockers 24/7. The only time he saw him without them was the one time he tried to sneak into his dad’s room to get his phone and saw him scenting Nishinoya. He hadn’t smelled his dad’s scent since before his trip to Tokyo and he was beginning to feel like he was going to forget it.
It was driving him up a wall. The house had never felt so cold and sterile, but he didn’t know how to fix it. He had tried asking Ren about it but he had no clue. His mom had given him hell for a few days, but she was mainly back to normal now.
While he knew things were tense at home, he didn’t realize exactly how much things were affecting him until he got home at the same time that his uncle pulled in the driveway. His dad wouldn’t be home for another hour or so, so he waited by the door for Akiteru.
‘Ojisan!’ He let his uncle pull him into a hug on the doorstep.
‘Kyo! You’re going to be even taller than your dad if you don’t stop growing,’ he teased like always. He smelt so similar to Kyo’s dad, just with the undercurrent of alpha, that it brought tears to his eyes and he was sniffling before Akiteru pulled back from the hug. ‘Hey, what’s wrong?’
‘What isn’t? Everything sucks lately. I know I messed up by lying to dad but he won’t even acknowledge it now, and he’s been using scent blockers and he barely talks to me and when he does it’s like it’s like detached like he can’t be bothered to care,’ he spills all of his frustrations, hiccuping his way through them. Akiteru lets him get it all out before gently suggesting they head inside.
‘Kyo, it’ll be okay,’ he consoles him once they’re in the doors. ‘I’ll talk to him.’
‘If he’s mad at me, why won’t he just yell at me?’ He wipes his face with the back of his hand, trying to clear away the tear tracks.
‘It’s hard to explain. Your dad had a really hard time when Kuroo and him split.’ He pauses, putting the words together in his head. ‘It was bad, for a while. Well, until he found out he was pregnant with you. That was the catalyst that let him accept our help.’
‘Bad like depressed?’ Kyo questions. He had never known his dad to be anything other than a solid rock for him. He was there for all of his games, and always listened when Kyo would go off on tangents about classmates he would never know. He can’t even remember the last time he had seen his dad cry before Tokyo.
‘Yeah, pretty much.’
‘And what, just seeing him was enough to throw him back into it?’
‘It’s possible. I don’t know for sure, Kyo. Let me talk to him, we’ll get it figured out. And listen, I’m not trying to harp on you, but I’m sure an apology from you would help.’ Kyo feels the guilt stir in his stomach and looks away. ‘Noya told us what you said, and I know you’re not like that normally, but it didn’t help the situation I’m sure.’ Kyo nods, and Akiteru gently smacks him on the back. ‘Alright. Go do your homework, I’m ordering take out. I don’t think my cooking will help either of you feel better,’ he jokes.
Kyo heads to his room, flopping on his bed. It was hard for him to imagine his dad as anything other than the self-sufficient person he had been for the last 14 years of his life. He thought of how his dad had looked when he had shouted at him, and felt sick to his stomach. He tries to force himself to start on his worksheets, not wanting to be behind on the first day but it’s impossible to focus. He decides to go bug his uncle, at least for a bit. On the way to the kitchen, he spots his dad’s shoes and bag hanging by the door so he slows down, trying to listen to the conversation before interrupting it. He pauses just outside of the doorway, catching the reflection of his dad in the mirror. He’s facing Akiteru and is drumming his fingers on the island countertop as Akiteru talks.
‘I’m just saying, maybe you should consider talking to your therapist.’
‘I’m just saying that you should mind your business.’ Kyo starts, he’s never heard his dad snap at his brother. He was sarcastic and teasing, but this had actual bite to it. It must not be new, because Akiteru continues like he isn’t phased.
‘I’m just saying that your business is my business.’
His dad clicks his tongue and looks away, out of the window. ‘I haven’t talked to her since high school.’
‘And you’re acting an awful lot like your high school self,’ Akiteru sounds almost amused.
‘What is this? An intervention? If you’re just here to judge me, you can leave.’
‘I’m not trying to judge you, I’m trying to help. I know it’s hard for you, Kei, but you can’t let it consume you again. Kyo’s upset, he doesn’t know what’s wrong.’
‘What does it matter, he hates me anyways right?’ Kei chokes out, wrapping his arms around himself as he tries to steady his breathing. Kyo’s frozen, unsure if he should stay and watch, intervene, or leave.
‘You know he didn’t mean that, Kei. He’s just trying to get himself in order, you used to lash out all the time when you presented.’ Akiteru’s voice is kind, but it doesn’t seem to help Kei at all. He watches in growing horror as his dad folds in further on himself.
‘I can’t-‘ he sobs. Akiteru must have moved to comfort him because he flinches backwards, drawing in a rough breath before continuing. ‘I can’t stop him from talking to Kuroo, nii-san. It’s too late, they both know. If Kuroo tries to get custody, he’d get it and I can’t lose him. I can’t.’
‘Kei,’ Akiteru’s voice is thick but Kyo’s more concerned with his father, how his shoulders shake with the intensity of his cries. ‘Hey, it’s okay, take a deep breath.’
‘No. It’s not. Kyo’s everything to me, I won't make it without him.’
It’s too much for Kyo, and he finally moves into action. He rounds the corner, ignoring whatever Akiteru tries to say to him, flinging his arms around his dad.
‘Stop. Please don’t cry, dad. I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry.’ Kei had frozen at first but once he realized who was holding him, he opened his arms to pull Kyo in tighter, which just made Kyo cry harder. ‘I don’t want to leave, and I don’t hate it here. You’re the best dad I could ever have and I’m sorry.’
‘Shh, hey baby. Don’t cry, it’s fine. I’m fine,’ Kei tries to reassure him, but his voice wavers.
‘Please don’t hate me, I’m sorry I said you ruined my life.’
Kei pulls back, and cradles Kyo’s face in his hands, resting their foreheads together. ‘I could never hate you, ever. I promise.’ He kisses his forehead and then pulls Kyo back in. Kyo allows himself to be held before clearing his throat.
‘Dad?’
‘Hmm?’
‘Can you take the blocker off?’
‘Yeah, yeah I can.’ His dad shuffles him to the other arm so he can reach up and pull the patch off. Kyo’s immediately covered in his dad’s scent. It washes over him, and he can feel the weight being lifted off of his shoulders.
‘Dad?’
‘Yeah?’
‘If I ask to crash in your bed tonight, will you not tell my friends? Gotta keep my street cred up,’ he tries to joke.
‘I’ll be sure to put an ad in the school newspaper.’
‘So I’m taking it we’re not eating the takeout?’ Akiteru cuts in, and Kyo looks back to see him casually leaning on the counter, watching the two of them.
‘Fuck off,’ Kei replies. Kyo laughs, and despite the early hour, the two of them head to Kei’s room. Kyo allows himself to be pulled into his dad’s embrace like he was a kid again. ‘You used to sleep in my bed every night until you were in first grade and decided it was uncool. I could put you to bed in your room and then halfway through the night you’d be elbowing me off of my pillow,’ Kei muses.
‘You always had the comfier bed, your nests and stuff. It was like a fort.’
‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about your father. I was so scared at the beginning that he would take you from me, I didn’t give you a chance to get to know him.’
‘It’s fine. If you want, I won’t message him again. He doesn’t know where we are, right?’
Kei shakes his head. ‘No, you can text him. I just..’ he trails off. ‘I don’t know what kind of person he is anymore. He was kind at one point. But if he starts talking about suing for custody, I’m not above running him over with my car.’
‘Dad!’
‘What? You’ve seen my driving, they’ll believe it was an accident.’
Kyo laughs, and soon enough the comfort of his dad's scent is enough for both of them to pass out. He’s woken up the next morning by his dad gently shaking him awake.
‘Kyo. Aki-nii made breakfast. I suggest you get up before I eat the only edible bits.’
‘He came back over?’ He asks, yawning and stretching out.
‘He didn’t leave, apparently. Crashed in the living room.’ He sees his dad roll his eyes before he disappears into his bathroom to get ready, and Kyo pulls himself up. He makes a pit stop by his room to grab his phone. He hesitates for a second before composing a new message to Kuroo.
‘Hey. It’s Kyo, Tsukishima’s son. Can we talk tonight? My practice ends at 6?’
He drops his phone on his desk, and spends breakfast making fun of his uncle’s cooking with his dad. Things aren’t perfect, but they’re better. His dad still looks tired, but he doesn’t put on new patches, and he engages with Kyo’s attempts at conversation. He doesn’t see Kuroo’s reply until he’s walking to school.
‘Sure. Call me when you’re walking home, I’ll be sure to answer.’