Archive of Our Own

Aemond had issues.

Luke knew this, hell Luke was responsible for at least half of those issues. 

But, no, in this instance Luke referred to Aemond’s…love issues. Which Luke was absolutely not responsible for, nope, that was solely Alicent and grandpa Viserys. 

Aemond wasn’t alone in his issues, sure he was more emotionally constipated than anyone Luke had ever dated but Luke had issues of his own, and they dealt with these for the most part. Or at least they learnt to as they dated, and then moved in together. 

Sure, Aemond was emotionally constipated but Luke didn’t need to hear it to know Aemond cared about him, he showed it everyday. Aemond was a man of action. It was the little things he did. Picking up Luke’s favorite take out, watching shitty reality tv with him and catching up on past seasons so Luke had someone to talk about it with, taking Arrax on walks. Aemond showed him everyday that he cared about him.

Luke knew this, knew in his bones that Aemond cared about him but Luke loved Aemond, was in love with Aemond. So in love that he wanted to shout it from every rooftop and yet he had never said it aloud.

Luke was loud, tactile in his love, but Aemond was Aemond and things had been going just so well that Luke didn’t want to scare Aemond off by saying I love you. As if by saying it out loud Aemond would finally realize who he was dating and would leave Luke.

So yeah, Luke had issues, abandonment issues. 

It was only a matter of time though, Luke knew, till they would have to sit down and talk about it. Soon enough their little bubble of undisturbed happiness would burst and they’d have to deal with the real world. 

     1.

Aemond suffered through many things for Luke’s sake, to make Luke happy. At this moment however he questioned all of it.

The family dinner had been arranged by his father, he had organized numerous over the years and as Aemond moved out he could usually make an excuse to not go. But Luke, favorite grandchild he was, of the favorite child, attended these dinners religiously and he had asked Aemond so prettily if he would go with him that Aemond could not have stomached his disappointed face.

He was regretting that now.

He and Luke had only been dating for about 5 months. Luke had just moved into Aemond’s apartment. Everything was great. Their respective mother’s and family knew about their status, while neither side had been exactly happy they had been vaguely supportive or at least Rhaenyra had been, his mother had merely looked disappointed and kept trying to talk to him about Luke while Aemond dodged her questions.

Now this, this dreaded family dinner. It was horrible, they were all here. Even Aegon had crawled out from wherever he had been the previous night to show up looking semi presentable. They all sat around the large dining room table, large enough to sit all of them. 

His father sat with Rhaenyra and Alicent on either side, next to Rhaenyra was her shadow or Daemon, followed by Jace, Baela and Rhaena. Helaena sat sandwiched between mother and Aegon, who was making conversation with Jace. Aemond sat next to Aegon, Luke on his left and Baela across from him. 

Conversation was idle as they ate, Baela spoke animatedly about Driftmark and her summer there, Helaena talked about her university classes and so on they continued, catching up. 

Aemond was this close to stabbing his other eye out. They were all so awkward, talking around the elephant in the room that was Luke and Aemond, the atmosphere was tense and skittery and Aemond was almost at the end of his rope, itching to get home, it was only Luke’s delicate hand in his rubbing soothing circles across his knuckles that stopped him. 

Breathe, breathe, calm down, you’re doing this for Luke, he told himself.

He focused back on the conversation around him.

“My course load this semester is lighter, but only in that they’re more specialized classes, it’s less classes but they’re more advanced so the work is about the same. Lots of late lights,” Luke was explaining to Alicent, “Aemond has been so helpful in that though, he’s been so supportive,” He turned, gracing Aemond with one of those sweet little smiles, Aemond couldn’t help but smile back. 

“Hmm well it sounds as if you’re taking your studies very seriously. That’s wonderful to hear, it seems as if Aemond is a good influence.” His mother replied, her tone mildly condescending. 

Rhaenyra picked up on this immediately, “Well, Alicent what do you mean by that? I believe if anything it has been Luke that’s been such a good influence on Aemond.”

His mother scoffed and gave Rhaenyra a fake smile, “I only meant that it’s all good to do as you like and have fun in college but at some point you have to focus and do your duty. Aemond’s always been a good boy, I’m sure he’s rubbed off on Luke.”

“Oh he’s rubbed off alright.” Aegon said into his glass of wine, Aemond gave him a swift kick under the table for his efforts. 

Aemond shared a glance with Luke, both watching this back and forth between their mothers, hoping this wouldn’t escalate further. Aemond’s father watched on from the head of the table, dazed and looking as if barely knew what was going on around him.

“It’s not always about duty, and doing as you’re told, Alicent. I suspect you wouldn’t know much about that though, as you always do as you’re told, don’t you?” 

His mother looked stricken for a second at the jab before she retorted venom in her voice.

“It would do you well to think of duty at some point in your life Rhaenyra we do not all have the courtesy to do as we please with who we please, damn the consequences, and I hope certainly for his sake that Lucerys learns something from Aemond to supplement whatever vile morals you have stuffed his head with.” 

Rhaenyra stood from her spot quickly, her chair scraping the floor and the cutlery clinking loudly as she slammed her hand on the table, looming over his mother.

“Vile morals?! You dare speak to me of morals, of duty? You who couldn’t even wait till my mother’s corpse was cold to make your way to my fathers bed?” His sister laughed cruelly, a mocking smile on her lips. “You, Alicent, who have poisoned your children’s head with lies for years? Oh and Aemond,” she turned to him, her eyes cold and Aemond knew that as she looked at him all she saw was his mother, “I must congratulate you and Luke on moving in together.”

Aemond closed his eye and clenched his fist.

“Mom!” Luke squawked from next to him.

“Aemond you did what?!” His own mother’s voice thundered.

He took a breath before he met his mother’s angry eyes.

“Lucery’s and I have moved in together, we were planning to tell you after dinner.” He kept his voice steady as he spoke even as he could see his mother growing more agitated. 

A brief silence settled over the table only interrupted by Aegon who clapped a hand on Aemond’s shoulder, “Well little brother, congrats on getting serious.”

Aemond scoffed, shrugging off Aegon’s hand, honestly who knew where he’d been.

His mother spoke, finally. “I expected better from you, Aemond. I allowed this dalliance before when I thought it a passing fancy, but this farce had gone on long enough.” She didn’t give him a chance to respond as she turned to Rhaenyra. “And it is your vile son who has done this. Was it not enough to take my son’s eye? He must take more from him? You seek to corrupt and mislead my son? Lead him down this wicked road? When will you be satisfied?” His mother was screaming now, her voice shrill. 

Aemond felt stuck, his tongue was heavy in his mouth and he felt like he couldn’t move. Suddenly he was 10 years old again and all he could do was watch and endure his mother’s rants.

Luke’s hand left his, and no, no, not Luke. Don’t let Luke leave. Not from this. No, he needed Luke.

Hands slammed down, shaking the table and dishes. Aemond watched half dazed as the wine in Aegon’s glass trembled.

“I have had it.” Luke’s voice was angry, filled with fury and Aemond was suddenly reminded that behind that sweet exterior was a boy filled with fire that had once cut his eye out. Lucerys was sweet and good and kind but beneath lurked a dragon and if pushed he would burn. 

“I have had it with both of you.” Luke continued, staring his mother and sister down. “This rivalry between the two of you has poisoned this entire family, it has caused enough damage. I will not let you ruin this.” He grabbed Aemond’s hand which had been resting idly on the table where Luke had dropped it. 

“I love Aemond, and we live together, deal with it and move on or don’t bother to talk to either of us again.”

It took Aemond’s brain longer than was acceptable to catch up and process Luke’s words. 

Luke loved him. Loved him. Luke loved him. Him. Luke loved. Loved. Loved.

They had never said it. Luke nor Aemond had ever said they loved each other. And now for Luke to say it so casually in an argument, in front of their whole family, in front of their mothers. Oh Aemond was going to kill the little strong bastard when they got home, or kiss him. One of those.

Right now though Aemond laughed.

His family sat in stunned silence at Luke's declaration and all Aemond could do was throw his head back and laugh, laughing harder as they all stared at him shocked. 

As far as Aemond was concerned there really was only one thing to do. He stood up from his chair grabbing Luke’s chin and tilting his head to plant a deep kiss on those rose soft lips, Luke responded moaning in surprise.

Aemond pulled away, meeting his mother’s eyes. “What he said.” He grabbed Luke’s hand in his, pulling him away from the dinner table and out the door. “Come on my strong boy.”

Luke could only giggle following Aemond.

“Aemond! Aemond, come back here! Aemond!”

Aemond could hear his mother’s voice yelling for him as they made their way outside quickly, but chose to ignore her again as he planted another kiss on Luke’s lips. 

Love, huh?

     2.

“You’re so pretty. You’re like-like a uhhh a fairy! Or an angel…”

Aemond spared Luke a fond sideways glance as he pulled into the parking space.

“You’re drunk nephew.”

They had both gone out with Jace and Aegon for a ‘boy’s night out’ as Aegon had called it. Aemond would have normally said no knowing just how quickly a night out with Aegon could turn disastrous, but Luke had been so eager that he had reluctantly agreed.

The night had been fine all things considered. More than fine, he thought, remembering how Luke had grinded against him on the dancefloor. They had all talked, and caught up before Aegon and Jace had abandoned them permanently, lost somewhere in the hazy neon lights of the club. 

He hadn’t even noticed Luke getting drunk, he had been drinking fruity little cocktails all night through a straw and Aemond had just been distracted by Luke’s mouth. He had only noticed when it was time to go home and Luke had been blubbering nonsense and clinging to Aemond like a limpet. 

“I’m not drunk! I’m just being honest Aems,” Luke whined from the passenger seat, his face pressed against the window, “Like a seahorse! I’m sleepy…Fly me home, angel.”

Aemond knew Luke was a lightweight, hell a couple of glasses of wine was usually enough for him to start swaying and wanting to go to bed, but he had never actually seen him this drunk. He had been muttering nonsense the whole ride home but Aemond couldn’t help the light blush at being called ‘angel’.

Aemond shut the car off and got out making his way to the passenger side to help Luke. His nephew was sleepy, long limbs limp as Aemond unlocked his seat belt and pulled him up closing the door behind him.

“Come on Lucy, we’re almost home, you gotta walk.”

“Hmmmm.” Luke whined, throwing his arms over Aemond’s shoulders and cuddling into his chest, “I don’t wanna.”

Aemond smiled, amused and ran a hand through Luke’s hair soothingly. “You have to now, Lucy, come on.”

He walked forward heading to the elevator, Luke still cradled in his arms, dragging his feet but walking, which really is the most he could ask for right now. 

The journey up the elevator and to their front door was mainly marked by more extravagant compliments and by Luke petting Aemond’s hair and shushing him like a horse while he whispered in High Valyrian. 

“Shushhh Shushhh Lykyri…Dohaeris.”

“Lucerys tell me to calm down and obey one more time and I will skin you.”

His tone was threatening but Aemond’s smile betrayed his amusement at Luke’s antics. He opened their apartment door quickly ushering Luke inside. 

Arrax raced to meet Luke at the door, his little tail wagging in excitement. Luke bent down to pet him lightly before he stumbled his way to the couch, collapsing on it in a mess of limbs. 

Aemond sighed, he gave Arrax a fond pat, checking his food and water in the kitchen before he made his way to Vhagar’s cat tree spotting his grumpy girl curled up on her hammock. She opened an eye offering Aemond a disgruntled meow as he ran a light hand through her hair before she settled back into sleep. 

He turned his eye now to the unmoving lump on the couch. Aemond made his way to Luke, hauling him up and staggering his way to their bedroom dropping Luke unceremoniously on the bed. 

Aemond focused then, taking Luke’s shoes and socks off, knowing how easy he overheated. He pulled his jeans and jacket off, throwing them over a chair before he changed crawling into bed with Luke. 

Luke turns to him, staring at his profile. 

“Hi.” He whispers.

Aemond smiles, “Hi.”

Gentle fingers trace his features, over his lips, they map out his nose, trace his scar, run over his cheek. 

“You’re pretty.” Luke’s voice is reverent. 

“Luke….”

“It’s true, it’s true!” His hand grasps Aemond's, turning him to meet Luke’s eyes. “I said it and kept saying it but you don’t believe me.” His voice is sullen, like a child. “It’s not fair, you should believe me. You’re the prettiest person I know.”

His nephew is earnest in his compliments and Aemond finds it adorable. He is not pretty, he knows that but Luke is the only person who could convince him otherwise. He knows he is lucky with Luke, with what they have, he has never taken it for granted. Luke is the only person who could love him, he knows that.

So he indulges his nephew, “Of course, whatever you say Luke.”

“No!” Luke sits up in bed staring Aemond down, “No, you have to say it, I won’t sleep until you say it!”

Aemond hums, “Say what?”

“You have to say you’re pretty.”

Of course his stubborn spoiled nephew must always get his way, in his drunken stupor has fixated on this.

“And If I say it we can go to bed?”

“Yes, yes promise, now say it!”

Aemond sits up with a groan, pressing forward so his forehead touches Luke’s. He can see Luke’s pupils dilating as he stares and his breath catching in his chest, his slip of a tongue wets his lips.

“I’m pretty.” He says, his breath mingling with Luke’s. He moves closer, dropping a chaste kiss on Luke’s lips, his nephew chasing him as he pulls away to whisper in his ear. “You’re the prettiest person I know.” Again he pulls away to watch Luke’s face turn that lovely shade of pink. “Now, bed.”

He drops down, pulling Luke with him, cuddling his nephew.

Luke groans and moans in protest against his chest before he settles, he throws an arm and leg over Aemond, getting comfortable before he mumbles something into the crook of Aemond’s neck.

“What was that?” 

“Said good night, love you.” Luke says before he drops off, falling into sleep.

Aemond’s almost fully asleep before Luke’s words register.

His eye snaps open, staring at his nephew's gentle expression as he sleeps. Oh that little twerp. They hadn’t talked about it last time when Luke had said the L word but now this? 

Oh Aemond was going to kill him when he woke up.

After he kissed him though.

     3.

It started with something stupid. 

All their fights did. Aemond didn’t know exactly how they'd ended up here though.

“My wants are just as important as yours, ok? Just cause I won’t work myself to death to fulfill your mother’s unrealistic expectations doesn’t mean I’m not tired! Or just as stressed as you!”

Lucerys stood in their living room, across from Aemond. He was wearing sweatpants and one of Aemond’s faded college hoodies, his curly hair was messier than usual and he paced and waved his arms while he yelled at Aemond. If he wasn’t so angry right now Aemond would probably find it endearing. 

“My mom?! Are you fucking serious! Also I never said shit about what you do, you go and do your fucking doodles or whatever Lucerys, I don’t care!” His voice grew louder, echoing off the walls, Arrax had run off to hide in their bedroom spooked by the yelling. Vhagar sat comfortably on her cat tree, watching them, unblinkingly. “All I’m fucking saying is that I’m the one that actually goes out, you stay here with your little drawings and I never say shit but the least, the LEAST you could do is make sure your fucking MUTT doesn’t pee on my carpet!”

“What is wrong with you?! Doodles? Drawings? It’s my work, Aemond! My classes! It makes me happy, we can’t all be ‘doing our duty’ to make mommy happy.”

Aemond seethed, Luke just knew how to push his buttons. He could always count on his nephew to hit him where it hurt couldn’t he?

“I do what’s asked of me. I’m a good son.” He said it and to his own ears it sounded weak, like a reassurance. “And it’s my fucking carpet Luke! I come home exhausted, you think I wanna deal with this shit?!” He rubbed his forehead, trying to will the headache he knew was coming away.

“God, you and your mutt, you can’t make anything easy.” He muttered, underneath his breath.

Luke seemed to get more enraged with every word out of his mouth, coming closer and getting in Aemond’s face. “Oh, oh, it’s your carpet now?” He taunted, his eyes glinted and there was a cruel smirk on his lovely lips, “It’s my mutt? Wasn’t this our house Aemond, huh? Ours?”

“Lucerys.”

“I said I was sorry about Arrax, ok? I’m sorry! But this isn’t about that and you know it.” He hesitated. “Did your mom talk to you?”

Aemond could only turn away, not meeting Luke’s eyes. His scar felt itchy.

“She did right?” Luke laughed, but it sounded closer to a sob, the anger was draining from him leaving only the tired and sad behind. “You always do this, you know that? You let your mom get in your head and you take it out on me, you pick a fight. God, Aemond, it's not fair.” Luke grabbed his face, cupping his cheeks and turning his head to meet eyes.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. The only expectations you have to meet are yours, ok, baby? But, you can’t, Aemond you can’t take it out on me, ok, I haven’t done anything. I love you. Don’t hurt me for nothing.” 

Aemond could only stare at Luke, at those chocolate brown eyes, glistening with unshed tears now. He’d done that. 

He raised a hand to cup Luke’s neck, softly caress and comfort. “I’m sorry,” His voice is shaky, just above a whisper, “You’re right. She gets in my head sometimes and it’s like I’m a kid again, ‘Don’t disappoint me, Aemond’. It’s not you, I’m sorry.”

Luke’s hand reaches down grabbing his own, ushering him to the sofa, where they sit. Luke cradled in his arms, Aemond’s head resting on his shoulder, Luke’s hand playing softly with his hair. It’s soothing, it calms him. He can breathe a little easier. 

It’s a few minutes later, when his breathing has even out and Luke is playing idly with strands of his hair that he speaks.

“I hate it.” His voice is barely above a whisper, a confession for Luke’s ears only. Luke massages a hand across his knuckles, encouraging.

“Once, maybe I thought it was what I wanted. To work at the office, follow in my fathers, grandfather’s footsteps, be a real Targaryen, be the son Aegon wasn’t, make my mother happy. But God I hate it.” He laughs, and it feels rough and hollow and empty.

“I sit in that tiny office every day and all I do is think about coming home to you.”

The silence lulled between them, Lucerys’s breath warm where it fanned over his collarbone. 

“It’ll be ok.” Luke’s voice is comforting, even if the words aren’t, maybe because Luke says them so earnestly and confidently Aemond believes him. “We’ll figure it out.”

Aemond wonders when he and Luke became a we. When I and me became we and ours. It makes his chest feel warm. They’re a package deal, in this together.

He grabs Luke’s chin tilting his face upwards to meet his eye. His thumb gently swipes the skin of Luke’s cheek stroking the damp skin there.

“I’m sorry.” 

He does this, he always does this. He hurts Luke. Pushes his pain outward to him and now he’s made him cry. Luke’s nose is still slightly red, his eyes watery and puffy, his lips red from biting.

God, he’s so fucking beautiful. To think that he once thought the brown eyes and hair made his nephew dull. He was an idiot. 

“It’s ok.” Luke smiles, and his two front two teeth peek out slightly on top of his bottom lip. “We figure it out. It’s what couples do. It’s alright.”

Luke stands up, standing in between Aemonds legs, he leans down placing a chaste kiss on his lips.

“Go shower and go to bed, I’ll clean up the carpet and if you’re up we’ll talk some more.”

He leaves no room for argument as he heads to the laundry closet to pick up the cleaning supply. Aemond goes to take a shower as instructed.

It’s only once he’s under the warm stream of the water, halfway through shampooing his hair, going over the argument and everything said in his head that he realizes just what Luke said.

“What the fuck.” He says to the blue tile wall of their shower.

He had said it. Luke had said it again. Had said he loved him.

They still hadn’t discussed it. Honestly Aemond had been happy to leave it undiscussed. The first time had really been heat of the moment, the second time Luke had been drunk, but now?

 He was saying it casually in arguments like it was a God given fact that Lucerys Valeryon loved Aemond Targaryen. Maybe it was. 

Aemond didn’t know how to feel. He was almost grateful that he had only realized in the shower, it gave him a small reprieve from Luke and his magnetic enchanting brown eyes that could make Aemond do anything with a flutter. He needed to think.

Luke loved him. 

He liked this, it made him happy. It made the little 10 year old inside himself who hoarded love and affection want to jump for joy.

He knew he cared about Luke. Maybe loved him, too? What was love supposed to feel like? How could you separate it from all the other emotions? He wished someone could just point it out, say that, that right there, that’s love. 

Luke made him happy, and not scared and warm and fuzzy around the edges. Was that love? He wasn’t sure. He has never been around enough love to identify it.

Negative emotions were easy. That’s fear, that’s sadness, that’s loneliness, that’s anger. Everything else was hard.

He turned the water off as it got colder. He was overthinking this. Aemond hadn’t said it back and Luke didn’t seem to have a problem with this so maybe things were fine for now. It was ok.

He got out of the shower, tying a towel around his waist.

Yeah, I’d be fine. It was Luke. How couldn’t it be?

     4.

Aemond stared at his phone.

He blinked and stared some more.

The light on his office phone was blinking, letting him know he had a call waiting. 

His phone brightness dimmed. He tapped the screen continuing to stare in mute silence at the text chain.

‘Woke up late, missed u :( Have a good day at work, love you xoxo’

He tapped the button on the office phone that connected to his secretary.

“Jeyne, field all my calls until I say so. I’ll be busy, something came up.”

She confirmed this quickly, leaving him back to staring at his phone.

He has come to terms with it by now, that this . These casual confessions of love were now part of his life. Lucerys was loud and flamboyant with his love, definitely a circumstance of his upbringing, of being surrounded with so much unconditional love his entire life that he barely questioned it.

It was a harder concept for Aemond to grasp. He was working on it. Really he was. 

This though, was a whole new beast. How the fuck was Aemond supposed to respond to that. It was one thing for Lucerys to say it in person but over a text? Wasn’t that too casual? Didn’t it diminish the meaning? Maybe he and Lucerys had different definitions of the word because Aemond could never imagine saying something of the like over a damn text message. 

The worst part was that Aemond knew that Luke had merely typed and sent that message without a thought. No regard for how this was gonna ruin Aemond’s fucking day and stop him from getting any work done. His nephew was just careless like that.

Also what did xoxo mean? Was that more slang for love you? He exited the message app, sliding open the search engine.

A quick search and something called urban dictionary revealed that xoxo was apparently code for hugs and kisses.

One mystery solved.

The next answer to his problem comes in the form of Helaena, by far his favorite sibling though the competition isn’t exactly steep.

“I don’t understand the problem.”

Aemond sighed exasperated into the phone, Helaena’s voice on the other end of the line soft and confused.

“It’s not- It’s not a problem,” He rubbed his temples in frustration, “Not really, but just- what does someone even reply to that? How can he be so careless with his words?! What does he expect from me?”

There was silence over the line. “Probably for you to say it back.” He heard faint rustling for her end and wondered whether she was talking to him while dissecting one of her bugs. “You’re not ready. That’s fine. Luke understands I’m sure. You guys are so different in that.”

Aemond loved his sister, he did but sometimes all he wanted was a clear answer. Instructions. Aemond do this, say that. Everything always seemed to work out for Helaena and she had this quality about her like she knew something you didn’t. As kids Aegon used to say that Helaena was a seer and magic like in their games but their mother had overheard him once and the ‘blasphemous’ topic had ended there.

He didn’t think Helaena was magic. No. His sister just saw what others couldn’t. She had a unique perspective. It would be more useful if she wasn’t so damn cryptic.

“Hel, I don’t know what that means. I just- I don’t know what he expects from me. How do I not mess this up?”

Helaena sighed deeply and he could almost hear the unsaid ‘idiot’.

“Just say the truth.” She spoke at last, her tone final. “It’s all Luke wants. Just be honest.” Her voice softened, and it was almost like they were kids again. “He knows you brother. He loves you. He doesn’t expect anything but for you to be yourself.”

He knows. Logically he knows. Luke is good and knows him probably better than he knows himself. But, there’s always that but. Lingering in the back of his mind, sounding like his mothers voice. That but, that makes him hesitate, makes him question himself.

“Thank you Hel, I’ll text you later.”

His sister’s voice is cheery over the line when she answers. “My pleasure brother mine! Tell Luke hi for me!”

Aemond hides a snicker, honestly he can’t say whether he’s pleased or horrified at how well Lucerys and Helaena get along.

“Will do.”

The call ends and his phone turns back to the lockscreen and he’s left staring at the picture of Lucerys on his screen.

He looks ethereal in the photo. Aemond took it. It was taken during their trip to Driftmark, one of those nights when they dressed up and went out to dinner in a fancy posh restaurant by the water. In the picture Lucerys stared at Aemond, his face cradled by his hand leaning on the table, the other stretched out holding Aemond’s own. His face was bright and open, his smile wide and unabashed and you could barely spot the dimple in his cheek. 

It was Aemond’s favorite photo of Luke.

He wordlessly unlocked his phone and sent Luke a reply before he thought any more about it. The little sent appeared under the message bubble and Aemond turned the phone off and put it in his drawer.

No more thinking about Luke, back to work.

‘Miss you too. See you at home xoxo’

     5.  

Luke switched through the radio stations aimlessly, not lingering on any one. From country to rap to pop he cycled through them.

Aemond reached from the steering wheel smacking Luke’s hand away.

“Stop it.”

“Aemond.” Luke whined, throwing his head back on the car seat. “Pleaseeeeee I’m bored.”

“Your own fault. Don’t be a child about it.” He responded keeping his eyes firmly on the road.

Luke scoffed, playing with his seatbelt. “My own fault…I’m not the one so old that he doesn’t even have a charger in his car.”

Aemond reached his hand again, smacking Luke’s hand from where he was clicking and unclicking his seatbelt. “Stop it.” He said through clenched teeth. “And I’m not the one that can’t go more than 5 minutes without my phone.”

“You’re so boring.” He turned looking at Aemond coily through his lashes. “Jon would let me.”

He continued staring straight ahead at the road. While his nephew’s ploy was obvious and well played out between them, the slight rise of jealousy in his chest was uncontrollable. 

“Jon is an old man and paid to put up with you.”

Luke grumbled, not bothering to respond as he leaned his head against the window and watched the passing scenery.

Aemond spared his nephew a sideways glance. In truth, he quite liked driving Luke around. It made him feel needed and useful. His parents never drove themselves ever, and certainly never the way he and Luke do. 

There's an intimacy there. In the way Luke puts his feet up on the dashboard, the way he likes to play with Aemond’s fingers on the stick, the way he blares his favorite songs and sings along at full volume, the way he falls asleep sometimes his neck twisted in awkward angles. It makes him feel warm and loved and almost makes up for Luke’s occasional brattiness. 

He slowed and stopped as they reached a red light, digging his phone out of his pocket and tossing it lightly into Luke’s lap.

“Play whatever you want.”

Luke jumped, startled from his daydreaming but his face lit up quickly as he reached over to land a sloppy wet kiss on Aemond’s cheek before starting to flip through his phone and apps. He settled on a more mellow soothing song and bopped his head softly to the beat. 

“I love it when you drive me, you know. Feels so domestic.” Aemond smiled softly as he turned to meet Luke’s eyes. His nephew continued, giggling. “Besides, you're hot when you drive.”

“Thanks.” He replied sarcastically. “Do I also look hot scooping cat litter? Really Lucerys you have strange kinks.”

The light turned green and he continued driving, Luke laughing next to him. 

“You know what I mean!” Luke flapped his hands around as if what he was saying was the most obvious thing in the world and Aemond was the one being ridiculous. “You’re like all hot and concentrated, and you’re super focused and you’re hand’s gripping the stick.” His nephew wiggled his eyebrows.

“What are you 12?”

“Aemond..” Luke whined, his voice high and breathy and it sounded a little too much to the way Luke moaned his name when they had sex for Aemond not to get slightly turned on. 

He sighed and breathed in and out. Really what Luke was, was a spoiled passenger princess. He was 23 and the most driving he’d done was probably on Mario Kart. Actually no, he had crashed a golf cart once at 17, so there was that. But he liked that Luke liked it and really it was more time spent with him and maybe one of these days he’d finally convince his dear nephew to let him fuck him in the back seat. 

One day. A man could dream.

“Maybe I should learn how to drive.” Luke mused, not glancing from his scrolling on Aemond’s phone.

“For the safety of driver’s everywhere. Please don’t.”

Luke huffed glaring at Aemond in fake outrage.

“You’re so mean to me…”

Aemond hid his amusement at his nephew’s antics, endeared and let only a tiny smile through. “Oh but Lucy I thought you liked it when I was mean to you.” He pitched his voice low the way he knew made Luke’s knees weak.

“Ughhh oh my god, you’re so annoying,” Luke pitched forward burying his face in his hands in embarrassment and shaking his head from side to side, “You’re driving! Don’t do this to me, arghhhhh!”

He couldn’t stop the chuckle that rumbled through his chest, deep and hardy and left him with a comforting ache in his gut. He pulled the car into park and reached a hand to muss Luke’s curls softly, playing with the strands.

“Come on lovely, we’re here.”

Luke looked up, spotting that they were indeed at the entrance to the library. He reached to the backseat grabbing his bag which he had carelessly tossed when he had entered the car. He leaned forward planting a quick chaste kiss on Aemond’s lips before he opened the passenger door and stepped out.

Aemond stopped him before he closed the door behind him. “Don’t forget to charge your phone!” Luke nodded, absentmindedly. “And text me when you want me to pick you up.”

Luke leaned on the door, his fingers drumming quickly. “Yeah, yeah I got it. I love you, bye!” 

It was almost instinct the way the words rose in Aemond’s throat before he stopped them.

“I lo-”

Luke froze. His eyes were wide where he stared at Aemond and he could only assume he looked the same, wide eyed and panicked and speechless. 

“Uhh-I-mmm.”

His nephew gained his bearings, his eyes still wide as squealed another quick “Bye!” before making his way quickly to the library and disappearing behind the automatic doors. 

Aemond could only stare dumbfounded at the spot Lucerys had previously occupied. He couldn’t tell who was more shocked, him or Luke. 

They both knew what Aemond had almost said. Almost, thank god. It had almost slipped out, he had barely even noticed, it seemed so natural, so right. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to say it but it was just that in that moment when he had almost said it that words had suddenly clung to his throat, it felt like claws like a part of himself holding the words back, stopping him from spilling them forth. A voice in his ear saying, no, no, no be careful, be scared, be cautious, you’re not good yet, you’re not whole, don’t disappoint him. 

He buried his head in his arms, leaning against the steering wheel, fingers scratching at his scalp. He groaned in frustration.

Come on Aemond, figure it out, you’re a big boy, process your feelings, he thought to himself.

(+1) 

Aemond stirred slowly as awareness returned to his sleep addled mind. His eyelid felt heavy clinging to the darkness that was disrupted by the sunlight that peaked through the curtain.

He became aware suddenly of the weight on his chest and looked down unsurprised to find Luke dead asleep sprawled over his chest and wrapped around him like an octopus. 

He sighed softly, watching the way it ruffled a few of Luke’s stray curls. These kind of lazy, quiet mornings were rare. Often it was Aemond racing out in the mornings leaving Luke snuggled against his cold pillow. 

I’ll savor this, he thought, running a calloused hand softly through Luke’s curls, reverently, appreciative, lovingly.

Aemond basked in his nephew’s soft embrace. More light was slowly creeping through the curtain, painting their bedroom in shades of yellow and orange and giving it all a feeling of warmth, of home. He sighed again content and continued stroking Luke’s hair. 

He counted 15 minutes or so that passed like this before Luke began stirring in his arms. He nuzzled sleepily into Aemond’s chest, burrowing himself there and when sleep continued to evade him he rested his face against Aemond’s collarbone and smiled at him, eyelashes fluttering as he tried to keep his eye open, dimples soft on his cheeks, freckles twinkling mischievously  and Aemond’s breath caught in his lungs. 

Oh. Oh .

Luke continued to smile, leaning forward to peck Aemond’s lips softly.

“Hi.” 

“Hi.”

He raised a hand, thumb stroking softly at Luke’s plush rose pink lips, his nephew offering no protest. His nephew’s own hands traced random nonsensical patterns on Aemond’s bare chest, leaving scorching hot skin in his wake. It mattered little how normal these touches had become since they got together, every touch was like the first.

The silence stretched between them, easy and comfortable. Luke was content in letting Aemond trace his features while he closed his eyes and enjoyed the gentle touches. 

They stayed like this for a while, determined to enjoy their free day together and spend as much time being uncharacteristically lazy. They were only stirred to move from their comfortable positions by Vhagar’s scratching at the door and Arrax’s whines. 

Aemond and Luke shared a look, a silent argument that ended with Luke pouting and Aemond grumbling as he stumbled out of bed. 

Luke took the opportunity to sprawl like a starfish across the bed, as Aemond opened the door and made his way out. 

He was immediately greeted by Arrax who began excitedly bouncing around him, yipping happily as he patted him. Vhagar, in contrast, was happy to sit on the kitchen counter and stare him down till he made his way over stroking her head softly. 

This part of his morning was routine and he was sure he could do it asleep, hell he probably had before. Grabbing Vhagar and Arrax’s bowls, putting the correct amount of food and their vitamins, setting their food down, filling and turning on the electric kettle for Luke’s tea, starting the coffee machine. Now wait.  Almost like clockwork Luke made his way out of their bedroom, coming behind him and wrapping his arms around Aemond’s waist. Aemond leaned back, Luke hooking his chin over his shoulder. 

The kettle pinged and seconds later the coffee machine began pouring. Aemond walked to the cabinet, Luke still attached, and grabbed his nephew’s favorite mug, and a bag of hibiscus tea. Luke made no move to leave as Aemond prepared his tea, he simply watched and when Aemond was done stirring in the honey he planted a kiss on his cheek, grabbed the mug and made his way to the couch. 

Aemond grabbed his own mug of hot black coffee, sparing Arrax another pat as he made his way to sit beside Luke on the sofa. 

Luke made himself comfortable against him as he sat, throwing his legs over Aemond’s lap and grabbing arm and putting it around his own shoulder before he settled, snuggling into his embrace and drinking his tea. 

Aemond sat, he played with Luke’s hair with one hand as he was so fond of doing, drank his coffee with the other and thought.

He never thought he would have this. No, that wasn’t it. He never thought he’d be capable of this. Capable of this kind of peace, this kind of contentment, this happiness that only Lucerys could inspire in him with little more than a look. 

He and his siblings had not been born of love. This was something he had known all his life. He had not grown coddled and safe in the embrace and the warmth of his parent’s love as Luke had. No, he had grown in cold rooms, with his mother’s bleeding hands a steady weight on his shoulders and his fathers disappointing stare at his back. 

He was not familiar with love. Certainly not the kind that Lucerys lavished on him with soft lips, warm body and sharp tongue. 

His mother had tried. No one could look upon Alicent and say she had not tried, with her forehead kisses and encouragement but sometimes trying is not merely enough. Aemond knows his mother was young when she had him and his siblings, practically a child herself. 

A part of him will always pity her and yet he remembers himself as a child. Hungry, starving thing he was. Desperate for scraps of love from his mother, his father, desperate for approval, to prove himself. He remembers the scrawny, scruffy child he was. Remembers standing outside her locked door, knocking crying for her having woken from a nightmare only for the door to remain locked. It was Aegon at the end that had emerged from his room, half asleep, had taken 5 year old Aemond’s hand, dragged him to his own bed and laid with him till they both fell asleep. Aemond had never tried to go to his mother’s room again after that. 

So no, Aemond Targaryen is not familiar with love. 

At least not till now.

At first the prospect of Lucerys love had felt suffocating, like an anchor, a pressure, something that was expected of him though he himself had no concept of the feeling. But the months had passed and Lucerys had continued in that stubborn vein of his. Continued to lay his love at Aemond’s feet. Continued to bear his heart open for him, as though the possibility of Aemond crushing it didn't even exist. As though this was simply the way of things. Hell he had proclaimed it loudly for their whole family to hear. 

It was safe to say that Aemond had spiraled through possibly every human emotion attempting to understand his own feelings. He knew he cared for Lucerys, he’d do just about anything for the little bastard that they both knew. 

But love? Love? Him?

Aemond wasn’t sure he was capable of it. Wasn’t sure he knew how to love someone. 

Lucerys had smiled at him though. Right as he woke, he smiled at him. He had opened his eyes and the first thing he had seen was Aemond and he had smiled like it was the loveliest sight in the world and Aemond had felt in that moment that he would do anything, anything for his lovely boy. 

And he had known then. 

He turned to Lucerys now, who sat snuggled into his side drinking his tea serenely. 

“Lucerys.”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

His nephew turned and met his eye now, a tender little smile on his lips. He stared for a second, searching before he lifted a hand cupping Aemond’s cheek, running a thumb across his cheek bone.

“I love you too.”

To love and be loved is the most vulnerable thing a person can do. To open yourself to the possibility of being hurt just for a single taste.

For Lucerys he would. 

 Aemond had always been a starving, hungry child; he found the sentiment still rang true now.