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Tk lingers in the doorway like a child, scuffing his shoe along the wood panel flooring and leaning against the hinge like he can't hold himself up.
Judd, leaning back on the couch, trying to focus on his newspaper, lets him stand there for a bit. It's what he gets for walking around and mopping the floor with his eyes instead of coming in and asking for what he wants with his chest out. Tk knows better than anybody that he can come up to Judd for anything – injury, illness, advice. Any time of day, any type of problem, all Judd needs is a word and he's there. But the kid just needs to take the space to remind himself. Judd knows that he can. He knows that Tk knows.
Unfortunately though, this time Judd's faith in Tk lowers and lowers the longer that he stands there. In fact, the kid hesitates, then moves to step back, like he's about to leave, and Judd has to sigh loudly and close his paper.
"Kid, you been standin' there so long I thought your legs grew roots."
Tk startles. He peeks in, looking cowed. "I– sorry."
Judd looks him over once. Jittery, pale, eyes flickering around the room. He looks anxious as all hell. "Tk." He says slowly, his tone a warning. Judd sits up and Tk seems to shrink even more. "Hey, kid, what's going on?"
Tk shuffles in, curling his arms around himself. "I just need – I feel – I don't feel so good."
"You gonna be sick, Tk?"
Tk shakes his head, biting at his lip. Judd's frown deepens further. "Tk…you need me?"
"Judd," Tk breathes, finally looking up. "I really want to hurt myself."
Judd's heart drops to his toes.
Tk, to him, is a brother. They're all family, of course; Marjan and Paul and Mateo – even Carlos, when he settles down at Tk's side when they're all hanging out or when they go out on a call and Carlos is already there, radio in hand, walking in step with Owen like he's part of the crew. It's so natural. Judd doesn't know how he fought against this for so long. They're all his family, in ways deeper than blood.
But with Tk, it's different. Only slightly, but enough.
Tk comes over for dinner, he curls up on the couch, he watches Judd beat the living daylights out of a video game. He sneaks slices of Judd's pies, and kisses Grace on the cheek when she comes home from work, and falls deep asleep with a quilt around his shoulders after only one slab of ribs. He calls Judd whenever he's stressed with his dad, or whenever he's taking Buttercup out for walks, or whenever he wants to hear Judd's voice. In fact, one time, Tk got sick and it was Judd and Grace that went over and doted on him while Owen was away and Carlos was busy on shift.
Judd, Tk had groaned, pressing his too-warm forehead further against Judd's large palm, Judd, M' dying.
No you're not, Tk, Judd responded, rolling his eyes at his dramatic mess of a crew member. I'mma fix you up right quick, alright? You're good as long as I'm here. Always.
The crew is a family, but Tk is his brother.
"Alright," Judd says slowly, mentally knocking his brain back into order. He stands – movements slow and careful. Out on the farm, he had to deal with a lot of animals running wild – they were jittery just like this, looking for an escape, even if that escape caused them pain. "I hear you, Tk. I hear you. Thank you for coming to me with this."
Tk nods jerkily.
"What can I do for you, kid?" He asks.
"I just need someone here," Tk manages. "Dad's in a meeting and we're on shift, so I can't call Carlos. I just – "
"Alright," he soothes, stepping forward, "alright. C'mere, Tk."
Tk hunches a bit, cheeks flushed, but dutifully shuffles forward, into Judd's arms. Judd immediately wraps him up, almost swallowing him completely. If he could, Judd thinks, he would hide Tk inside of him, and away from all the things that want him hurt – guns, fires, his own mind.
"Sorry," Judd hears, muffled and quiet and not at all like the Tk that Judd's grown to know.
"Don't apologize, kid," Judd says, squeezing tighter. "I'd be bustin' your door down if you didn't come to me."
“Don’t break dad’s doors,” Tk says, and Judd would be remiss not to notice the way that he sounds many, many years younger than he is – like he’s jumped back into the years before Judd’s known him. This is a Tk that Judd wished he had the chance to protect before the world decided to take all of its anger out on him. “He’ll take you shopping and make you shift through all the different types of woods. Hours and hours of your day – gone."
“I’d go wood-shopping with Cap for you, kid,” Judd says – there’s close to nothing that he wouldn’t do for Tk, but Judd keeps that thought close to his chest. He knows Tk gets twitchy when shown such heavy out-pourings of love – Judd can refrain from it until later. For now, he adjusts his hold and carefully walks them both backwards, taking slow lumbering steps back to the couch.
“Sit,” he rumbles, carefully pulling them both down. Tk follows, and when Judd’s hold has to loosen because he’s leaning back, Tk pauses for just a second before burrowing back into Judd’s side, melting like he belongs there. “You okay, Tk?”
Tk doesn’t answer, just humming and burying his face into Judd. Judd sighs, but merely holds Tk a bit more securely.
He'll wait here for as long as Tk needs.
"You need to call out?" He asks eventually, because even if he isn't yet, he's got a crew captain's brain and can't help turning over the logistics of Tk being called out to a dangerous situation with the urge to do himself harm. They did that heart-shattering, nerve-wracking shit already with the silo, and Judd is not fixing to go back there anytime soon. "I can tell Owen -"
"No," Tk says quickly. Judd squints a little at the top of Tk's head. "No, I can't. I'm okay to work."
"Tk," Judd goes. Another warning. Tell me everything so I have all the facts.
Tk hesitates. He tries his damndest to tuck further into Judd. "No one is home right now," he says, voice horribly small. "I don't want to be alone. That's all."
Ah.
"Okay," Judd says, relief tugging his heart back up into place. He's glad it's something easy to fix and not a lava storm or solar flares. He loves his job, but it tests his skill at times. This however, is something he knows how to handle. "Gotta easy solution for you, Tk. You come over after work. Gracie's put on this slow roast. I'm gonna be glazing biscuits. Invite your boyfriend too. He may as well spend more time around family if he's gonna be sticking around."
"He will," Tk says, and it's cute how defensive he gets. Judd just grins.
"That's what I just said, kid."
"Are you sure?" Tk pulls away, leaving an empty space at Judd's side. In Judd's chest. He levels red-rimmed, worried eyes at Judd. "I know I can be ... a lot. All of my shit. And it's not your job to deal with it -"
"Tk, makin' sure you're safe and okay is not a job," Judd says firmly. "I don't know what your daddy tells you, but I do it because I care about you, and because I want you in my life, alright? You ain't going nowhere anytime soon, Tk, so just settle down and come over and eat a damn biscuit already."
Miraculously, Tk cracks a smile. It's pale in comparison to what Judd can usually bring out of him, and even paler still to his brightest, which is what Carlos gets from him, but for now, considering, it's enough. And further still, it's enough that Tk nestles back into his spot against Judd's side. It's enough that Tk takes a breath of what sounds like relief. It's enough to hold him here in this moment and keep him safe from himself.
"I got you," Judd murmurs, unable to help himself. And Tk, settled and secure, makes a noise of grateful agreement.
And that's more than enough.