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Dean feels neglected. Castiel finally realises why the hunter has been so tense and closed off. It was like he had a shield around his soul to keep Castiel out. The Righteous Man’s strength was not to be reckoned with, and Castiel respected his wordless order.
Sometimes Castiel was under the impression that Dean did not even like his company any more. He was stretched thin as his brothers warred against each other. It was his duty to perform what he was Revealed to do. It would never be his Father’s will to bring pain and suffering on his most precious creations. Someone had to stand against Raphael.
So Castiel took advantage of Dean’s dour, acerbic attitude and returned to his secret parts of Heaven. Taking advantage of his return to his home. Those precious moments he had as he walked the moonlit beach of a couple who died in a car accident on the way home from their honeymoon. When the water washed over the fringes of his true form, a feeling unparalleled, he felt an aching in the core of his grace.
He remembers the moment when he brought Dean’s recovering soul to bathe in the water of that beach, infused with his Father’s transcendent grace, and the pain he experiences is so foreign that it feels as though his grace is imploding onto itself; shrinking to a point in his centre.
He has lost sight. His primary duty from the moment he raised Dean from Perdition has always been to protect The Righteous Man, and that order, though disputed had never been formally retracted. Of course Dean feels neglected.
Castiel immediately returns to Bobby’s where he knows Dean is staying. The kitchen is empty, the table covered with several empty bottles of whisky, and Castiel remains hidden from human eyes. Raised voices echo from the panic room downstairs.
“He’s not coming back, Sam!” Dean barks. “You can’t keep saying, ‘Let’s call, Cas’ whenever we’re at a standstill! He’s made his choice.” Dean’s voice is low, angry, and Castiel can not ignore the abject pain within it.
“He’ll be back, Dean.” Sam is trying to keep his voice restrained, “He always comes back!” His voice carries an obvious tone. Both brothers take a deep breath, and Castiel knows that this is one of the things Dean has expressly forbidden.
“I’m going to go get a beer,” Sam says, trying to defuse the situation. “You need to chill out, dude.” Dean snatches the whiskey bottle as Sam climbs the stairs.
As he takes a long swig, Castiel allows his vessel to materialise around him. “I’m sorry, Dean.” His voice his despondent as he realises Dean’s intense feeling of abandonment. Castiel had repaired Dean’s soul, piecing it back together from the mutilated form he encountered in Alistair’s lair.
Dean spills whiskey on himself when he jolts at Castiel’s appearance. Castiel expects a fight, more raised voices as Dean tries to push him further away. But Dean simply slouches and offers no response.
Approaching Dean, Castiel kneels before him. “I need to ask your forgiveness Dean. I have neglected my Father’s work for me. You.” Dean looks uncomfortable, but he lets Castiel finish. “But I have a duty to my Father’s home as well.”
“I know that, Cas.” Dean’s voice is weak and dejected. “So just leave, okay?” His voice is a plea. “Just stop with this whole disappearing for days and weeks and just don’t come back. You’re better off without us.” Dean looks away.
It’s as if Castiel’s grace fractures. He’s feeling Dean’s soul. The blinding pain indescribable. He stands and puts a hand on Dean’s left shoulder, over the brand his grace seared into his skin. Pushing on his grace he speaks from his Father’s Word. “And Ruth said, Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.”
Dean’s eyes are wide, and tears fill them. Castiel finds himself stepping forward and pulling Dean’s face towards his with a hand on the back of Dean’s neck. He feels Den’s tears on his face as Dean wraps his arm around him and returns his kiss desperately.