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“Are you okay?”
Tommy pauses, the door only half-open as Wilbur’s mouth had begun to move, the rest of his face looking panicked.
Tommy pulls his headphones off his head, letting them rest around his neck. His blaring music continues. “Say again?”
Wilbur purses his lips. “Are you okay?”
Tommy frowns. He looks behind himself, confused for a second as to who exactly his brother is talking to - because he himself is currently the picture-perfect example of fine. He had been working on homework before Wilbur’s frantic knock on his door had interrupted him. It was for a class that he liked and was good at, so he had actually felt pretty relaxed, opting to do it in bed with a bag of popcorn open next to him. He’s wearing his favourite pajamas and is playing his very specially-curated playlist on loop.
Needless to say, Tommy is in his element. He’s the most relaxed he’s been all day. So Wilbur is making absolutely zero sense.
“Um. Yes?” He turns back to Wilbur, tilting his head at the man in confusion. “Why?”
“The, uh-” Wilbur points at the ceiling, swallowing thickly, “I just heard the, uh, thunder.”
Tommy focuses for a moment, and- oh, yeah, so there is thunder. And rain, it sounds like. He hadn’t heard it over his music.
“Oh, okay.” He pauses to think. “Wait, no- that still doesn’t explain why you’re here.”
Wilbur sighs, frustrated. “The thunder, Tommy. It’s- I just wanted to make sure you weren’t- I don’t know…scared, or anything.”
He narrows his eyes. “I’m not scared of thunder, Wilbur.” Never have been, actually, not even when I was little. I’m pretty sure you know that.
“You don’t like loud noises.” That is true, but thunder has never really applied to that. He’s more against sudden noises close by, like someone dropping something or turning the TV on without knowing the volume is on full-blast.
“Yeah,” Tommy allows, “but I didn’t even hear anything until-”
“Do you want me to sit with you?” Wilbur blurts. He fidgets where he stands. “Just until the storm stops?”
Ohhh, Tommy realizes suddenly. Oh, okay, I see what’s happening here.
He curses himself for not realizing it sooner. Wilbur’s eyes flitting back and forth, his weight shifting repetitively from one foot to the other, the poorly-hidden panic in his words - the man is clearly terrified.
Well, Tommy can very easily put a stop to that.
“Um, yeah actually, could you?” He asks timidly. He tries to look nervous, which just ends up making him mirror his brother’s anxious movements. “Now that I can hear it, it is kinda scary.”
Tommy doesn’t ever like to show weakness, including when said weakness is actually real - but for Wilbur? For Wilbur, he would pretend to be afraid of anything. He would be the weakest person in the room without a second thought if it meant giving his brother strength.
Wilbur deflates with relief, and Tommy knows without a doubt that he’s made the right choice. “Of course, Toms. I’ve got you.”
I’ve got you, prick, he thinks fondly, rolling his eyes once Wilbur is walking past him, turned away from Tommy’s expression. He closes the door softly, starting to make his way back to his bed when his phone buzzes in his pocket. He watches Wilbur settle into his bed out of the corner of his eye as he pulls it out to look at the screen.
technoBLADE
yooo im stuck in the rain, will be home late
can u check on wil?
Tommy hides his smile behind his fist, typing out his reply.
toms
oh dw he’s already with me
i’d send a pic but that feels mean
technoBLADE
ah. so he’s not hiding it then
toms
you mean how he’s scared shitless of the storm??
he’s certainly trying to hide it. not well
technoBLADE
what excuse did he use on you
he tried the i JuSt wAnTeD tO HaNg oUt!!! excuse on me the first time
toms
i'm assuming u called him out right away huh
technoBLADE
duh
he never wanted you to know tho
Tommy frowns.
toms
what? wh-
He isn’t able to send the message - he doesn’t even have the time to finish typing - before Wilbur is calling out for him.
“Who are you texting?”
Tommy’s head snaps up. Wilbur is hunched over on himself, hands fisted tightly in Tommy’s comforter. The pitiful sight makes him soften. “Just Tech. Sorry.”
Wilbur’s eyes widen. “Oh. Is he saying- what did he say?”
The ache that formed in Tommy’s chest when he read ‘he never wanted you to know’ increases tenfold. Wilbur looks nervous, and fuck, how shitty of a brother does that make Tommy? Wilbur is actively afraid of Tommy finding out. He has been actively hiding this from him, for fear of… what, exactly? His reaction? His opinion of Wilbur, as if it could ever shift from ‘most incredible person in the world?’
At the same time, his amusement grows a little, too (although much more buried within himself). In what world is it not blindingly obvious to literally anyone with eyes how terrified Wilbur is right now?
Oh, well. If he wants to believe Tommy truly is afraid of the thunder - as if his choice of excuse could ever be that lucky - then so be it. Tommy can commit to the fucking bit.
“He was just letting me know he’s gonna be home late.”
Wilbur shifts, brow furrowing. “Because- because of the storm?”
Oh, bless him. “Yeah, but he’s okay. The visibility is probably just really bad.” He finally joins Wilbur on the bed, pushing his homework and popcorn to the end of the bed so that the two of them can have space. “Smart, really. I can barely drive in the dark, let alone in the rain.”
Wilbur huffs. “God, I always forget that you can drive now.” He shakes his head in disbelief. “You’re a child.”
Tommy grins cheekily. “If I’m a child, then I’m a child with road rage.”
“Don’t I know it.”
Tommy smiles, leaning against his brother’s side. Wilbur is smiling his soft smile too, the one that makes his head tilt and his eyes crinkle. Success, Tommy thinks victoriously. Older brother has been calmed. W.
As if his thoughts have been heard, the universe decides to spite him by eliciting a particularly harsh crack of thunder. It’s so intense it almost feels like Tommy’s bed shakes with the force of it - although that could actually be from the way Wilbur’s entire body flinches violently.
A second later, the man is letting out a shaky sigh. He looks shameful, as if he’s just been caught. Tommy won’t stand for that.
Without further thought, he’s throwing himself towards his brother, wrapping his arms around the man’s torso. Wilbur catches his weight easily, even with his arms trembling.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he murmurs, grip on Tommy tightening. “I’ve got you.”
Tommy buries his face in Wilbur’s chest, breathing heavily into the fabric of his shirt. “S-sorry. Sorry, that was just-” he shuffles closer, “that was really loud.”
Wilbur must be really shaken up, because normally, he would have seen through Tommy’s act instantly. His fear must cloud his judgement though, because all he does is shush Tommy gently and hold him closer.
“Do you wanna put your headphones back on?” Wilbur suggests, tugging them away from their spot around Tommy’s neck and holding them up in offering. “Might drown out some of the noise again.”
Yeah, and drown out the sound of you, which is a bit counterintuitive to comforting you.
“No, that’s okay.” Tommy takes the headphones from his hand and reaches behind himself to place them on the bedside table. He doesn’t have a great angle with the way he’s basically become a part of his brother’s ribcage, so they just go tumbling to the floor as soon as he lets go, but hey. He gives himself a humble A for effort. “Can we just talk? Please?”
Wilbur presses his cheek to the top of Tommy’s head. “Of course. What do you want to talk about?”
Tommy hums, thinking. He wracks his brain for something that will distract Wilbur but also won’t give away the fact that Tommy is perfectly calm right now. It’s a tough line to walk.
“How about you tell me what you were doing on your computer?” Wilbur suggests, pointing his chin towards where Tommy’s laptop lies forgotten by their feet.
“Just working on my essay.” Tommy grabs hold of the neckline on Wilbur’s shirt, twisting the fabric idly between his fingers. “It’s almost done.”
“Your English one?”
“Mhm, the one that-”
“-that trashes AI, right?” Wilbur finishes, remembering Tommy’s fervent rant on the subject. Tommy nods, his cheek making a rustling sound as it moves against Wilbur’s chest.
“You can’t replicate passion, Wil,” he mumbles in complaint.
“You are very right. It’s a great essay topic,” Wilbur says, and Tommy soaks up the praise without shame. “Can I read it when you’re done?”
“I was actually hoping you’d edit it, if that’s okay?”
Tommy can actually feel Wilbur smile into his hair. “I would be honoured.”
“Thanks, W-”
He’s cut off by more booming thunder, this one echoing out for a long time. Wilbur stays tense the entire time, and even once the room has fallen back into silence, Tommy can feel the pounding of the older boy’s heart against the side of his face.
He squeezes Wilbur tightly.
“It’s okay, Toms,” Wilbur whispers, rubbing Tommy’s back gently. “It’s- it’s just a bit of thunder. We’re okay.”
The reassurance would be believable if his voice hadn’t cracked on the last few words. Tommy can hear Wilbur’s shallow breaths. He can even picture the way his lower lip is probably trembling; the same way it had when Tommy had that really bad fever a few years ago, when their dad had to soak him in an ice bath.
“Are you sure?” Tommy asks, solely to make his brother repeat the comforting affirmations again. Maybe then he’ll actually start to believe them for himself.
“Yeah, I’m sure. It’ll pass.” The hand that isn’t rubbing Tommy’s back comes up to rest against the blonde curls at the nape of his neck.
“Promise?” Say it again, c’mon. It’ll pass, Wil, I promise.
“Yeah. It’ll-” another shaky breath, then his voice coming back a little stronger, “it’ll pass. I promise.”
Tommy relaxes in his grip. “Okay. I believe you.”
Because if there is one thing that has always urged Wilbur on, it is Tommy’s utter, unwavering faith in him. Even Tommy knows that’s true. He’s seen it time and time again, since his very first memories all the way until this very moment.
The two of them fall silent, and Tommy is pleased to hear that Wilbur’s heartbeat has slowed considerably in the time that he’s been forcing him to talk. The only sound other than their quiet, in-sync breathing is the soft pattering of rain against the roof.
Of course, during the large gap between thunder cracks, another obnoxious sound has to take its place.
“Is that your phone?” Wilbur questions.
Tommy sighs. The incessant buzzing of his phone had only been going on for a few seconds, and he had really been hoping it would stop before Wilbur had time to notice.
“Yeah,” he admits, shifting to pull it out of his front pocket. He squints blearily at the screen, the notifications continuing to flood in.
“Who is it?” But Tommy’s too busy scanning the messages that are practically screaming for his attention to answer the question.
technoBLADE
you are such an idiot
tommy ANSWER MEEEE
u better not be spiralling over this
oh who am i kidding ofc u are
wilbur didn’t want you to know BUT
Oh, right, the horrible realization that his brother doesn’t feel comfortable sharing his fears with him. Tommy is literally in the middle of trying to fix that, so Techno can chill the fuck out.
technoBLADE
it's not because he doesn't trust you or smth
and don’t even argue bc i KNOW that’s what ur thinking rn
Well, of course that’s what Tommy is thinking. What other explanation could there possibly be?
“Tommy?” Wilbur’s voice fades into his awareness, and it’s only then that he realizes he’s been staring at his screen for what must be a while now, the screen propped against Wilbur’s chest but still turned away from his prying eyes. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, sorry,” Tommy assures distractedly. He tries to look away from the screen, but admittedly, his focus is entirely on Techno’s words right now - so when the thunder makes a reappearance and Wilbur, naturally, jumps out of his skin, he isn’t thinking about his actions.
Where he should pretend to flinch and promptly bundle himself closer to his brother’s chest, he instead reaches a reassuring hand up to cup Wilbur’s cheek, the other hand still on his phone.
“No no, you’re okay,” he says on autopilot, still in the middle of obsessively scanning the words ‘it’s not because he doesn’t trust you.’ “I’m right here, Wil, you’re alright.”
Wilbur immediately freezes underneath him. Tommy, oblivious, just types out a chaotic reply to his oldest brother - SHUT UP IDIOT I'M BUSY BEING THE BEST BROTHER EVER. I WILL READ THESE LATER!!! FUCK YOU!!! - before clicking his phone off, throwing it to the side and focusing on the much more important thing in the room.
“Don’t worry,” he continues softly, finally centering his attention on Wilbur. He inches up the bed to press his forehead firmly against the other’s cheek, trying to be the grounding presence that he needs. “I’m right here.”
He breathes deeply, hoping Wilbur will mimic the movement without thinking, but all he does is remain completely still under Tommy’s weight.
“Wilbur?” He’s starting to get a little worried now - it’s not like him to go completely quiet. He pulls back to assess his brother’s expression, hoping to find answers, but if anything, what he sees only manages to confuse him even more.
The shock still lingering on Wilbur’s face is gradually giving way to what, strangely, looks like sadness, and it makes Tommy’s hand press firmer against his stubbled cheek. Brown eyes dart back and forth between blue, and without meaning to, Tommy is reaching up to smooth out the crinkle between Wilbur’s brows with his thumb.
“It’s okay,” he repeats, brushing his thumb over the same spot again when the frown only comes back more fiercely. “Thunder is stupid, it’s got nothing on us.”
But the light joking tone of his voice doesn’t even make Wilbur smile, doesn’t create even the slightest quirk to his lips, and that may be the scariest part of all of this.
“Wilbur?” He says again, sounding painfully tentative this time, even to his own ears. “I’m sorry, did I- did I say something, or-”
“You’re not-” Wilbur cuts him off, voice wobbling. He says it so quietly that Tommy has to lean closer to hear the rest of his sentence. “You’re not afraid of thunder, are you?”
And just like that, Tommy comes crashing back down to awareness.
Holy fuck, I’m an idiot.
“Um-” he stutters out, mind racing as he tries to find a way to cover up his egregious slip-up, “what? I never said that. I’m- I’m super scared, like, shitting my pants right now, actually, so you should probably- I mean, we should probably do something about that. Like talk, or- or just completely move on from this conversation. Um. Forever,” he finishes lamely, clamping his jaw shut with a wince.
Wilbur, who had been watching his pathetic attempt with shiny eyes, suddenly starts to grin, albeit shakily. “You,” he begins, shaking his head fondly, “are so fucking stupid.”
Tommy gnaws on his lip nervously, despite the way his entire chest had begun lighting up the second the sunshine had broken through Wilbur’s cracks. “Wh-what?”
“God, I knew it was too good to be true. There’s no way you’d actually be scared of thunder, that was literally the lamest excuse I’ve ever thought of.” He says it mostly to himself, but Tommy still replies.
“Shit.” Because, seriously, he’s the biggest idiot on the planet. “I’m so sorry, Wil.”
At that, Wilbur just looks confused. “What? Why on earth are you sorry?”
“Be-cause,” Tommy stresses, whining a little. “I- I lied to you. I’m sorry. I just-” he begins to remove his hand from Wilbur’s face, but it’s immediately grabbed by the older and moved back in place. It makes him continue speaking with a newly-found smile, “I didn’t want you to feel pressured to say anything. So I figured you’d- that this would help you feel safer, I guess.”
“Tommy,” Wilbur mutters, and it’s in that soft chiding voice that makes Tommy feel protected in a way that nothing else can. “I am the one who should be saying sorry.”
Tommy is already shaking his head adamantly before Wilbur has even finished his sentence. “No. Nope, nope, nope, that’s ridiculous.”
“It’s not ridiculous-”
“Wil, if you don’t trust me with something, that is not something you should ever apologize for, okay?” Tommy says matter-of-factly, despite the way the words burn as they leave his mouth. He knows it’s the truth, and he would never hold anything like that against anyone, let alone Wil - but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still sting a little.
“Tommy- Wh-” Wilbur sputters. “What are you talking about?”
Tommy can’t meet his brother’s eyes, instead fixating on the pillow propped up behind him as he explains, “you- you don’t owe me anything. Least of all information that you wanna keep private, or whatever. It’s cool.” He shifts awkwardly. “If telling me that you’re scared makes you uncomfortable then I’d- I’d never want you to do it, y’know? And I’d never want you to feel bad for not wanting to tell me. So, um. So yeah.”
Wilbur sighs, and Tommy holds his breath, awaiting for the inevitable truth bomb that’s about to crush his heart - but then Wilbur is laughing.
Tommy feels his shoulders slump. “It’s not funny.”
Just as quickly as it had begun, Wilbur’s laughter is snuffed out. “No, no, of course not, Toms, I’m not laughing at you.”
Tommy pouts, not caring if it makes him look like a little kid. He thinks he’s pretty damn entitled to a little petulance after being laughed at. “Sure seems like you are.”
“I’m not, I promise,” Wilbur says firmly, grabbing Tommy by the shoulders. “I’m laughing at myself. Because I’m a fucking idiot.”
Tommy finally meets his eyes. “Why are you an idiot?”
Wilbur chuckles, and this time Tommy can hear the self-deprecation in the sound; not a single note of mockery. “I- I didn’t tell you because… I didn’t ever want you to feel like you couldn’t come to me. Meanwhile, all you wanted me to do was come to you. It’s- I’m just so stupid, really.”
Tommy feels his entire face scrunch up with confusion. “What do you mean?”
Wilbur sighs, looking down. Tommy leans his head down with him so he can still see his expression. “If I told you that I’m scared of something as stupid as thunder, I was worried that you wouldn’t feel comfortable coming to me with your own fears, anymore. Because, I mean, how could you feel safe and protected by an older brother who gets sent into a panic by- by the fucking weather?”
“Well, that’s stupid,” Tommy says simply, not caring if it comes off as rude. “Are you serious? The only reason you didn’t wanna tell me was because- what, you were worried that I wouldn’t feel protected by you anymore?”
Wilbur is quiet for a moment, before croaking out a quiet admittance, “yes.”
Tommy takes a deep breath, quickly followed by another. Then he shifts, straightening his back and clearing his throat. He’s about to prove the point to end all points.
“Wilbur, I have felt protected by you since the second I gained fucking consciousness.” Wilbur huffs a soft laugh. Tommy goes on, “and it’s not because of your bravery.”
Wilbur swallows, his throat clicking. “You can’t tell me that you don’t feel protected when Techno just…faces everything head on. Or when he tells you not to be scared, and teaches you how to have all that courage.” He looks up shyly. “I know I do.”
“Yeah, I do feel protected,” Tommy agrees. “But I also feel protected when he just lets me cry into his shoulder, or when he goes for a walk with me to clear my head just so I don’t have to do it alone. No one is being brave, then. It’s just us.”
“But-”
“And,” Tommy says pointedly, “I feel protected when you also tell me not to be scared, sure. But I feel the same when you tell me it’s okay to be scared. And I feel the same when you tell me to ‘drive safe’ every damn time I leave the house, like the overdramatic, anxious mess that you are.”
Wilbur’s face softens with every second, melting in front of Tommy’s very eyes.
“I feel safe just having you here.” Tommy shoves him gently. “No matter how scared you are.”
Wilbur just looks at him for a moment, scanning his face. Tommy stares back, daring him to challenge anything he’s said.
“I hate your guts,” Wilbur decides on saying, and Tommy’s laugh surprises even him as it jumps out of his chest.
“Yeah, well, the feeling is so very mutual, I can’t even tell you,” he mumbles, but he’s leaning back into Wilbur’s arms and having arms wrapped around him as he says it, so it holds absolutely zero weight.
It’s as Tommy is settling back into his spot against Wilbur’s chest that his phone begins buzzing again.
“Oh my God, he never fucking quits,” he mumbles.
He pulls it out, and the texts on the screen that are visible to both of them, this time, are just a tad embarrassing.
technoBLADE
wilbur has it in his stupid head that being a good big brother means being indestructible
i’ve told him he’s an idiot obviously
but yk how he is
anyway that is ALL. it's not about anything else
and it's not a reflection of you. he trusts you tommy, there’s no doubt about it
Tommy feels heat rush to his cheeks. When he looks at Wilbur’s face, the rose-tint is identical.
“Pfft.” He sighs. We really are both stupid. “C’mere,” he ushers, motioning for Wilbur to come closer, “let’s reply.”
He clicks the camera icon, holding his phone up so that they’re both in the frame. He flips the lens off, and Wilbur catches on instantly, sticking his tongue out as he raises his own middle finger to the camera.
At the same time that Tommy presses the screen to take a picture, the most deafening boom of thunder yet echoes into the night.
toms
[image: Tommy and Wilbur both flipping the camera off. Tommy has a cheeky smile, while Wilbur is a blurry, panicked mess, mouth open in a shout and eyes comically wide.]
technoBLADE
LMAOOO
keeping that as blackmail material forever and ever
but also, can’t believe you guys are cuddling w/o me. u think u know a guy
toms
L
and we’re not cuddling we are having a Chill Hang
technoBLADE
clingy mfs
on a completely unrelated note. i am now speeding back home thru the rain
toms
[image: Wilbur standing by the front door, arms open wide.]
drive safe. he’s ready for hugs
technoBLADE
all he’s gonna get is a very violent tackle
toms
i’ll get it on video
technoBLADE
i expect nothing less.