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Sunny knew what love was. He did feel it, he is human after all. He knew what love is. He knows how to give love. He gets love in return.
Mari loves him. He loves Mari.
His mother and father love him. He loves them.
His friends love him. He loves his friends.
But what he saw that day? Not what love was. That's not what love's supposed to do. Love is meant to heal people's lives, right?
The shows that he sometimes see, show that. And with Mari and Hero; Mari's somewhat broken ankle and Hero helping her. Hero heals Mari.
Yet what he can do... on that day.
He couldn't heal anyone.
His magic ran out, or maybe he was just stuck in the treehouse for too long. Sunny never saw Hero come out of it.
He only saw Hero come out once almost everything was cleaned up and healed by other people, in whites - reds, yellows and some blacks.
He never wanted to get sick again, after that.
He just couldn't bare it. And he didn't want to be weak, ever again. Being sick is a sign of weakness. You let your body get tired, and all of a sudden you have a fever - and don't want to leave your bed.
Being sick, is being weak.
Sunny doesn't want that. And he can't let that happen again. He just can't. He can't get weak ever again.
A double edged sword that was.
That meant, in long term, that he wouldn't want to open up to people. That means that he doesn't want people around. His spikes will hurt them.
He will eventually tell them that he was a cause of someone's death.
He... he really did cause his death, right? He wasn't there to prevent it. He wasn't strong. He was weak. He let it happen. He was foolish.. as expected.
Only 12 years old, when that happened. And he already caused someone's death.
(..Sometimes he gets the feeling, that it really isn't his first time causing someone to die..... But that has to be fake. He doesn't feel deja vu.. that's fake. Nothing close happened, and he doesn't really believe in past lives. They are simply preposterous.)
People would want to leave him alone. A murderer, he is. No one likes that.
His spikes are out, and people hate him. He knows it. He hates himself.. or maybe is hate too strong of a word? He doesn't really feel anything towards himself.
Well, he does feel. But he would rather not feel.
After all: he lost light. He lost his first friend, and.. well. Basically his first crush? Who even knows. He loves his friends. And, well. All of them are so dreamy.
But now? He lost it.
They hate him. He understands so.
God... He wishes he was so much more better and skilled back then.
But, I suppose, he's better now? He is more skilled then he was before. His grades are perfect(A+ sometimes gets Bs), he can bake well, and.. his social life?
He doesn't need to worry about it. He can already please some people with his grades, and baking. Maybe he should take up another hobby? Anything to please people.
But.. he wants to be alone.
Since, well. Who would want to hang out with him?
...
..
.
He hates on how remembers, the funeral.. so so well. He hates, it.
He hates on how, when he leaned close to Mari.. she- she leaned away from him and, leaned on Hero. That was just, so mean of her....
She taught him love, now she does that?
With the added fight they had.. trust broken. He, and maybe she, still love each other. But, now they would rather stay out of touch with each other.
It's better like that.
It just is.