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"Honestly, what did you come here expecting, Constance?"
Constance stared into the emperor's eyes, hoping to see some sign that she wasn't hearing Edelgard properly, that she was on the receiving end of some joke conceived in poor taste. She knew that wasn't the case, though. Edelgard, her rock, her purpose for being, would never joke about something like this, something that would truly wound her.
Edelgard continued. “You stand before me, last scion of the von Nuvelle line, a house fit for nothing more than to serve as a warning to others less hapless, to try and curry favor in my court? Even someone as hopelessly unaware of their own irrelevance as Constance von Nuvelle should understand how pathetic that is.”
Constance could barely believe what she was hearing. Edelgard... El... She had never been the most openly affectionate girlfriend, but Constance knew that her hardened exterior was just a defense mechanism from the world and that, deep down, she felt things deeply, like her devotion to Constance. But this? She could barely recognize the woman sitting on the throne before her. Everything Edelgard said now was dripping with contempt. She sat on the throne, one arm propped on the armrest and her head on her fist, making it abundantly clear she found the woman before her too boring and insignificant to warrant a second look.
“Your Majesty...” Constance tried again. She could feel the familiar signs in her body – the tightness in her chest, the tears building in her eyes... No, no, no no no, this can't happen, El isn't like this... I'm safe with her... I can be myself with her... Why is this happening? Goddess, no...
“Your Majesty... El...”
Edelgard's lips curled into the subtlest of sneers. “Don't speak to me as a friend, Constance. You can't seriously think I reciprocated your pitiful pining for me, can you?” Hubert, standing at her side, let out a small, contemptuous laugh. “I am the emperor of all Fodlan. What madness would have to possess me to give someone like you a spare thought?”
A response died in Constance's throat as she picked her eyes back up from the ground and looked at her love. Tears began to fall and she made no effort to stop them. Why bother when the world was crashing down around her? She deserved no dignity. No compassion. She was--
“A fake. That's what you are. You know it and so does everyone cursed to cross your path”. Edelgard had moved from her detached malice into a more focused hatred. She had sat up and was glaring directly down at her. Constance didn't know this person, this demon wearing a mask of the woman she loved more than anything in the world, who was saying the words she most feared.
“El... please don't... please...”
Constance was defeated. The confident, dazzling woman she had become when she finally dared to open her heart had been beaten back, probably forever. She had reverted back into what she was before Edelgard came into her life – a despondent soul, one who knew she was worthless, knew she didn't even deserve to draw breath and lay down to sleep each night hoping the goddess would take her in her sleep.
In that moment, she looked into Edelgard von Hresvelg's eyes and knew she had never, ever been loved. It was better this way, she thought with resignation. A monster like her deserved no love.
Her knees gave out and she fell prostrate. The old familiar despair welled up inside her and she began to cry. She wept, shedding the hopeless tears of someone who truly knows they should never have been born. The moment seemed to last an eternity as she lay there, ugly crying on the ground before her. “No... goddess, please, no... please don't leave me... El... El...”
The world dissolved around her and she knew nothing except she kept crying out for Edelgard. Until, finally, she awoke, sitting bolt upright in her bed.
Her mind took a few moments to find its bearings. She looked around in a daze. Next to her in bed was Edelgard, curled up in her usual ball shape she assumed in her sleep. Next to her was a laptop, still streaming whatever vaguely queer anime El had picked to watch earlier that evening (in the original Japanese with English subtitles, as El always insisted upon). Also open on the laptop was a chat window, into which was being typed an infinitely long string of dddddddddddddddd.
“Hey, doofus. Off the keyboard”, she said to the dozing furball currently resting its head on the D key. The cat, knowing the true hierarchy in the apartment, remained unmoved.
“Come on. Up you get, sweetie. Up.” She reached out and picked their long-haired cat up off the laptop and sat her back down at the foot of the bed. The cat looked distinctly put out as she walked over to her usual spot on the mattress and began making biscuits.
“Thank you, Sothis”, said Constance. Sothis gave a grumpy mrowr in response.
Constance's heart had stopped beating so quickly now that she had been awake for a bit. She grabbed the sleeve of the overly-large T-shirt she always slept in and wiped the wetness from her eyes.
She turned back to Edelgard. Her girlfriend continued to sleep soundly, her arms wrapped around the well-worn teddy bear dressed up like a knight she had slept with every night since she was a young girl. She loved fantasy stories, fairy tales with knights and heroics that spoke to her deeply.
Constance smiled. They had found each other years ago, when both had been adrift in life and unable to find purpose. Edelgard because of the deep, lasting trauma she suffered as a child that she was just now beginning to come to terms with and Constance because of the pain of her identity that had been slowly building since she could remember. They both bore scars they would carry forever, both physical and mental. Some self-inflicted and pointless in their violence. Some wrought by people they trusted, done with malice. And then there were some that pointed to a hope for the future, Constance reflected, as she squirmed a bit and felt the still-fresh scars on her groin.
The adrenaline of the nightmare was wearing off, and Constance felt sleepy once again. Looking over at the girl she loved, she lay back down and pulled the covers up. She nestled up against Edelgard, fulfilling her sacred role as the big spoon, and draped her arm around her, finding her hand and interlocking their fingers. Edelgard continued to sleep but squeezed her hand a bit when she felt Constance's and gave a contented sigh. As Constance drifted back to sleep, she felt her heart rest again, and she smiled.