Work Text:
“Now, if you don't park it, I will paint you with makeup and call all your friends over to see!” Jesse says.
"We can do that," Bart says.
Jesse stops, looks at him like he's crazy. "What?"
"But, you know," Bart says, "without the calling my friends over part. If they’re gonna get on my case about it, I want to actually like it first. You don’t have to look at me like I’ve lost it."
In a second, Jesse's sitting across from him on the couch. "You want to wear make-up? Why?"
Bart shrugs. "Haven't tried it before."
"It’s a girl thing. You do know that, right?" Jesse says sceptically.
“Is it a girl thing or a thing girls do?” Bart asks, because it’s an important distinction to make. "People sometimes get them confused."
“I guess it’s a thing girls do,” Jesse concedes. She squints at him. "Are you a boy?"
"No need to be a jerk," Bart mutters, but Jesse catches his wrist before he can run.
"Hey, I didn't mean anything by it, was just making sure," Jesse says, softer than she’s ever spoken to him before. "C’mon, let's go to your room. We can turn the radio up real loud and I’ll do your makeup, see how you like it."
In a flash, they're in Bart’s room. Bart sits on the floor, cross-legged 'cause what else would he do, and Jesse speed shut-and-locks the door then cranks up the radio playing some dumb song real loud then sits opposite him.
"Okay," Jesse says, digging into a small black bag that she doesn’t let Bart peek in. "You’ll need to sit still for this."
"Bleh," Bart makes a face, but sits still.
Bart gets impatient a moment in, bounce-bounce-bouncing his foot in a way he doesn’t want to admit is anticipation, and Jesse glances at him then says, "go wash your face."
Bart does and is back in a second, and Jesse sticks this red headband-thing on his face that pushes back his hair. "So the makeup doesn’t gunk up your hair and I can see better," she explains, batting away his hands when he tries to touch it. "Sit still." When he sticks out his tongue but agrees, she dumps out her makeup bag and says, "we’ll go simple, see how you like it. I’m using my stuff on you, so it’s best I don’t use too much and you’ll hate it. Plus, I don’t do makeup too often."
Jesse talks—over the too-loud, almost too-much sound of the radio, and Bart asks why it has to be that loud and she ignores him—as she works, rubs something she calls moisturiser on his face, then applies what she calls foundation (foundation of what?) and remarks about how he doesn’t even need concealer (what does he have to hide? What do girls have to hide?).
As she uses a brush to sweep on some pink blush, she says, careful like she’s talking to a small easily spooked wild animal, “you know, Bart, how there’s guys and girls?”
“Uh-huh.” Duh.
“And there’s some people that aren’t guys or girls, or are both at the same time, or one at a time,” Jesse says carefully. “There’s nothing wrong with that, y’know? Some people say there is, but they’re wrong.”
“Get real, Jess. I came from the future. Of course I know that.” What’s she getting at?
“Right. And if you were…one of them, it won’t change anything. Or well, it would— sit still, Bart—but- oh, what I’m trying to say is, are you sure you’re a boy?”
“Stop making fun of me,” Bart says, leaning back, but Jesse grabs his chin and drags him back forward.
“I’m not, I’m just- it’s fine if you’re just exploring this as a guy, but if you weren’t-”
“Well, I am,” Bart says.
Jesse breathes out a sigh. “Emotional conversation averted then. If you ever change your mind about that—don't look at me like that, I’m not saying you will or even might, but there’s always a chance—go to Wally or Linda, I’m not doing this again. Or maybe Helen. Max is old, he may be weird about this sort of thing.”
“Gotcha.”
Then she makes him shut his eyes for too-long and be extra too-still as she uses eyeshadow and eyeliner, which both tickle, and makes him do his lips funny so she can smear on some lipstick (this he knows.)
When she’s finally done Bart feels like he’s going to explode from sitting still for so long. And this is the short version? How do girls do it?
“Ready?” Jesse asks, holding up a handheld mirror away from him so he can’t see himself, then turns it to face him before he can answer.
And… wow.
“Wow,” Bart says, because- he touches the mirror, then reverently touches his face, “wow.”
“I take it you like it?” Jesse teases, but Bart barely hears her.
“I look…” Bart trails off, enraptured by how he looks.
“You look…?”
“Pretty,” Bart breathes. He turns wide eyes on Jesse. “I didn’t know I could look pretty before.”
“You like looking pretty?” Jesse asks, eyebrows raised.
“Don’t you?”
“I always look pretty, and saying girls need make-up to look pretty is-” Jesse cuts herself off. “Nevermind. Yes, I do.”
Bart bobs his head, slow. He looks…pretty. “I like make-up.”
“And your friends?”
“What about them?” Bart asks, furrowing his—pretty—eyebrows. “They can deal.”
“Good for you, kid,” Jesse says. “Good for you.”