Chapter Text
James still remembers the first time they’d found the concert room at Hogwarts. He’s surprised every day by the size of the school, the amount of rooms they’ve discovered since arriving is astonishing. They’d also soon found a music room a few doors down from the concert room. Immediately after finding this, he decided they all must absolutely start a band. Because of course.
Sirius had complained about his parents making him learn to play instruments, which only helped in convincing James of this idea. Sirius, of course, loved the idea right away. Remus was harder to convince, though he’d slipped up about playing the guitar one time. Peter loved playing the drums, but he didn’t much enjoy doing so in front of others; he didn’t like judging stares very much.
Eventually, James convinced them all to join him and so it began.
Sirius would play different instruments for fun, always experimenting with sounds to match his emotions. He loved the electric guitar the moment he heard the first note and they never really went back after that. He liked the piano as well, of course, and the violin, the flute, and every other musical instrument his parents made him learn to play. They didn’t want to take the drums away from Peter, though, so it was an exception to this.
Remus, of course, played the guitar. It was the only thing he knew how to play but he played it extremely well. At least, according to James, Sirius, and Peter. Remus himself wasn’t too sure of how well he played and was frustrated when he didn’t play perfectly. He loved it anyway, though he may have preferred to do so alone.
Peter found that playing the drums was nice for relieving anger. Not that he would ever mention this to anyone. He’d made the mistake of telling a friend a while ago and, well, they weren’t friends anymore. Peter’s been playing the drums since he was about seven years old and before then he would play with the little toy drums. His parents didn’t let him play with magical drums but maybe now that he was at Hogwarts, they would. Or maybe he’d have to wait until he was 17. Either way, he was sure it’d be worth the wait.
James didn’t play any instruments, but he did love to sing. His parents took him to singing lessons and he fell in love right away. He loved the way his voice sounded and how well he could express himself through songs. He learnt quickly and rose to the top in the lessons, especially during performances. The stage seemed meant for him. He, admittedly, loved the attention. The best part must have been seeing his parents’ faces in the crowd, smiling proudly as he poured his heart into singing.
They all wrote songs, though each for different reasons. James wrote them for fun and as a form of expressing his emotions, some of which Lily Evans had been on the receiving end of (much to her embarrassment). Sirius wrote them mostly out of frustration; it helped him deal with trying to live up to his parents’ impossible expectations. Remus wrote them mostly to pine over Sirius, using neutral pronouns so nobody else could know and making them vague enough to be about anyone. He was less loud than James and Sirius about his thoughts and feelings and drowned his private life in metaphors only he could understand. Peter wrote crack songs. Literally. Ninety percent of his songs were just jokes and the other ten percent were mostly party songs. He had things to deal with as much as any of the rest of them; he just preferred to deal with it another way.
They’d gotten permission from McGonagall and Dumbledore to perform concerts at school and they have been since first year. At first, only about a hundred students actually came to the concerts but word spread and, by fourth year, the room was packed. Students from all houses came to the concerts, not just the Gryffindors either. The room seemed only able to expand, since it always managed to be able to fit more and more people. Soon enough, almost everyone was looking towards the posters showing when they’d perform.
It’s fifth year now and James is sure it will be different. The best year yet, perhaps. After all, it was their sixteenth birthdays. And you know what they say about sixteenth birthdays…
“It’s gonna be our sweet sixteen…th birthdays,” James sing-songs on the train.
“That’s for girls, Prongs,” Sirius informs him.
“Now, don’t be sexist, Padfoot,” James tuts.
“Plenty of guys celebrate their sweet sixteens,” Remus tells them both without looking up from a copy of their Potions textbook.
“Already studying, Moony?” Sirius teases.
“I’m behind,” Remus says simply.
“Don’t bug him, Pads,” James says, tossing a snitch at Sirius.
“James!” Remus scolds.
“Sorry, Moony,” James says, trying to catch the snitch.
“No wonder you’re not a seeker,” Sirius laughs as James fails miserably.
“Oi, where’s Pet— Ah, got it!” James yells, catching the snitch right as Peter opens the door to the compartment. James only just misses crashing into him.
“One of these days, I’ll sit on my own,” Peter grumbles.
“Oh, c’mon. Loosen up Wormtail,” Sirius says.
“I’ll join you,” Remus tells Peter.
“Moony! How could you?” Sirius says dramatically.
“Well, I am a Prefect so I suppose I’ll have to go and join them soon enough,” Remus says, to Sirius’s disappointment.
“Oh, don’t pout,” Remus says.
“How’d you know? You’re not even looking.”
“I’ve been friends with you for four years.”
Remus lifted his book just a tad bit higher to cover his cheeks, hiding a blush.
He leaves a little while later, to join the Prefects, which includes Lily Evans. James is almost jealous before Sirius starts complaining about how much work Remus will have and how he won’t have any time to hang out with them anymore.
“He might even give up the band!” Sirius says, eyes wide.
“Don’t worry, Pads. Remus will be fine and he’ll still have time for us,” James comforts. “Ask him when he gets back, you’ll see.”
“Alright,” Sirius allows.
A while later, Lily and Remus walk back to the Gryffindor department. They’re talking and laughing about something but James can’t really tell what they’re discussing. He strains himself to watch them. Lily looks pretty as ever this year, her auburn hair cascading down and falling on her shoulders. She does not look back, instead focusing on Remus. Even when she speaks to James.
“Potter,” she greets him. Then, “See ya around, Remus.”
“REMUS?” Sirius repeats, astounded.
“That’s my name,” Remus sighs.
“She never calls any of us by our first name,” Sirius looks at Remus as if he’d committed a crime.
“Well, she calls you Padfoot,” James reminds him.
“That’s only ‘cause I told her I hated my last name,” Sirius shrugs.
James is surprised by this for a second before he remembers why he liked Lily in the first place. She was kind, although feisty.
“That’s nice of her,” Remus says.
“But she called you Remus,” Sirius frowns.
“I’ve been told I’m popular among the girls,” Remus grimaces.
“Moony!” Sirius looks scandalized.
“Don’t worry, I’m…” Remus doesn’t finish.
“Not interested,” Sirius finishes for him after a second. “I know…”
“Right,” Remus mumbles, falling back into this excuse.
He doesn’t think there’s any point in trying to explain to Sirius that maybe, possibly, it could be he’s just not interested in anyone who doesn’t wear leather jackets, walking around with so much confidence you’d think they’d own the place. And eyeliner, eyeliner. Well, enough of that.
The train ride isn’t much longer and they arrive at Hogwarts soon after. James looks at the castle like he’s seeing it for the first time. Every year, he forgets its magnificence and, every year, it’s like his first year. There’s always more to find, more to look for at Hogwarts. It’s filled with adventure. James loves it.
Sirius looks with excitement, images of what they can, and will, do this year. So much potential for mischief, so many things to do in a space so free. There are never as many expectations here as when they’re at home.
James walks through the Great Hall, watching the stars in the ceiling. They change every day, so James knows he’s looking at something different every day. It always matches the sky outside. He watches as kids clamor around and makes his way to the Gryffindor table.
“Home, sweet home,” Sirius whispers.
James bumps his shoulder into Sirius’s and they exchange a smile.
Behind them, someone scowls. James turns around to see Regulus Black make his way to the Slytherin table with his head held high. Sirius chuckles at his younger brother.
“He misses it,” Sirius says.
“I’ll never understand you two,” James shakes his head.
But how could he? James is an only child; there’s no way he would ever understand that, even though Sirius and Regulus don’t talk to each other much, they’d both die for each other over and over again. That they complain about their parents as soon as they get a chance, where they won’t be overheard. They’ll insult the hell out of each other but if anyone else even tries, they’ll be burned.
Across the Great Hall, Regulus sits at the Slytherin table, despising Sirius’s friends who will never (in his eyes) be good enough friends to Sirius. Growing up, Sirius had always been more than Regulus. Always smarter, more popular. But he’d also been more arrogant and caused more trouble for their parents. It was always Sirius to get in trouble, even if it had really been Regulus’s fault. Anywhere but home, Regulus was protective of Sirius but Sirius was more protective of Regulus. Of course he was.
It makes sense, then, that Sirius would be friends with people like James Potter. Arrogant and proud boys who always got themselves into trouble. It makes sense, then, that Sirius would be sorted into Gryffindor. The “good” house, brave and daring. And it makes sense that Regulus is the opposite.
So obviously they hate each other more than anything else in the world. And, obviously, they love each other just as much.
When Regulus spends too much time staring at James with utter disgust and hate, Pandora teases him. The only reason he doesn’t mind is because it’s Pandora.
“He’s very charming, isn’t he?” Pandora smiles.
“No,” Regulus says shortly, glaring at her.
“If you say so. I think he’s rather handsome,” Pandora hums.
Regulus doesn’t say anything. James Potter is annoying, ignorant, and much too confident. Too much like his brother. There was once a time when Regulus admired his brother, but he knows better now. His eyes land on Sirius, who’s making a ruckus as usual. Sirius and James, the iconic duo. Once upon a time, Regulus stood in James’ place. Now, he stands alone, but Sirius still has James.
He misses home but even that’s complicated. Maybe it’s just Kreacher he misses, maybe it’s his parents, too. Sometimes he finds it difficult to hate them so strongly as Sirius does. Probably because Regulus does his best to make his parents proud. He can’t see why Sirius won’t do the same.
The Sorting Ceremony seems to take longer this year; perhaps there were more new students this time around. Dorcas’s sister, Shanise, gets sorted into Ravenclaw. Regulus is surprised when Dorcas smiles proudly and goes over to congratulate her, only because he realises he wishes Sirius had done the same for him. Instead, he had looked at Regulus with a mix of disappointment and disgust, looking more like their parents than Regulus had ever seen him.
Dorcas doesn’t notice Regulus’s internal battle, of course, because she’s busy talking to her sister. People stare because it isn't customary for students to talk to anyone outside their house, but Dorcas doesn’t care. All that matters to her is staying close to her sister, no matter the house or years apart. Plus, Pandora isn’t even in Slytherin but she sits at their table almost all the time.
“Hey, girl,” Dorcas greets, hugging her sister. “I’m so proud of you.”
“I wanted to be in Slytherin,” Shanise admits. “So I'd be closer to you.”
“I’m always close. I’ll always be here; I promise. You are so smart. Ravenclaw will be good for you and you’ll make so many friends, you’ll forget to miss me.”
“I won’t forget. I won’t.”
“It’ll be alright, promise. I love you. I gotta go back to my table, but we’ll see each other soon, okay?”
Shanise nods and gives Dorcas a hug before she goes back to the Slytherin table.
When Dorcas gets back, Pandora asks her a lot of questions about Shanise, though Dorcas has talked about her quite often in the past. Pandora says there’s always more to learn about a person, but learning about Shanise makes Regulus uncomfortable. It reminds him too much of him and Sirius and what he wishes they could be.