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Jamie could feel the moment everything was getting to him, the slight sweat on his palms, having to mask in front of at least 25 people, the loudness of the chattering and laughter alongside the random TV show on in the background. It was too much, now he kinda wishes he brought his headphones with him, so he can hide in the comfort of a quiet room. Don’t get him wrong, he loves hanging out with the team, but sometimes they're just a bit much. They're all really great guys, never failing to make him laugh, but after hanging with them at a team BBQ, he needs to sit in a dark room for at least a day. He starts staring at the edge of the carpet on the floor, the frayed edge from use and a vacuum running over it, he imagines what it feels like on his hand, the possible softness it may have, and the wish he could lie on it and just curl up.
Trevor's seen him like this before, his first week in the NHL, his first Team Bonding exercise, and more times than he can count on two hands, some even being in their shared house. And sometimes, Trevor has even noticed it before Jamie himself has. Quickly coming up with an excuse that he has a video call with his family, so he and Jamie can leave Troy's house as quickly as possible. Driving them home in comfortable silence, his hand on Jamie’s thigh, a small but comforting way of grounding Jamie. A reminder he's here in the present, and he's going home, to their home, so he can go curl up in his room and not leave until at least tomorrow morning.
After a few moments, he notices the noise getting louder, someone probably made a joke, and everyone found it stupidly funny. Jamie brings his knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around them, almost as if he was protecting his body.
“You okay Jam?” Trevor's voice is like a drink of cold water after spending a month in the Sahara. It's refreshing and relaxing. He wants to answer him, tell him they should probably leave soon, he opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. He wants to answer Trevor, he needs to. But he just can’t. Trevor seems to notice the struggle Jamie is facing, “It's okay buddy, you don’t need to talk. Here, pinch my leg for yes, and tap it for no, okay?” Jamie looks down at Trevor's thigh, now realizing his hand is already there, when did he do that?
“Okay bud, first question; is it too loud in here for you?” Trevor probably already knows it’s a definite yes, but he needs confirmation from Jamie before he can make a move to help. He pinches Trevor's thigh, content with the fact that they can communicate in a way other than speaking.
“Awesome, thank you for answering Jameson, do you have your headphones with you?” Jamie really wishes he does. If he did, he could probably stay longer, sitting happily in the corner with his headphones comfortably chatting with the team. But he forgot them on the kitchen counter, where he left them after having the eggs that Trevor made this morning with the idea to pick them up as they were leaving. He taps Trevor’s thigh, his eyes showing the want for them right now.
“Oh Jamie, it's okay, here lemme- can I touch you?” Jamie takes a moment to assess himself, will it overwhelm him even more? To the point where he just shuts down and screams? It's just Trevor though, and he's used to Trevor being cuddly and always wanting to touch him. They have movie nights for a reason! Trevor just needs the physical touch he would usually get in a relationship. So, after his body assessment, he pinches Trevor's leg.
“Alrighty then Jam, I'm gonna ask you one more question, and then after I will cover your ears, cool?” With a pinch on his thigh in confirmation, Trevor continues, “Tap my thigh if you want to go straight home or pinch it if you would rather go to the bathroom instead.” Now this is when the actual thinking comes into play, if he goes home, it means he is in the safeness of his room quicker. But if he goes to the bathroom, he might be able to come back and chat with the guys, acting as if nothing happened. He really does want to stay, feeling guilty for always leaving the team way earlier than everyone else. At the end of the day, even if he does stay, he can leave at any time. The team knows and doesn’t ever pay any notice to him when he and Trevor slip out. He eventually decides to just go for it, he pinches Trevor's thigh.
“Okay bud, I'm gonna cover your ears and we’ll head to the bathroom.” Trevor brings his hands up to Jamie’s ears, cupping them in a way that makes everything drown out and he's in complete silence. They slowly stand up together heading in the direction of the downstairs bathroom. Someone faintly makes a joke about them going to the bathroom to make out or something similar, but they both don’t care enough to listen to it.
Once inside, Jamie pulls Trevor's hands off his ears, guiding them to wrap around his waist, so they can hug, bringing his own hands up to wrap around Trevor as well. Sometimes when Jamie gets like this, a simple hug can make a big difference. Snuggling his neck into Trevor's shoulder, breathing in his cologne, usually something vanilla-scented. They stand there, comfortably hugging in their own little bubble. After a few more minutes, Jamie pulls away, turning towards the sink to throw water on his face, then placing his wrists under the running water, something Trevor told him to do after he researched all night about being overstimulated, something he did after seeing Jamie get overstimmed for the first time since meeting him.
“How are you feeling Jame?”
“Better, just not sure if I'm ready to go back out there....” Jamie really does want to, but his therapist has told him multiple times not to push himself. He feels so bad for always leaving team hangout days so early, but he really does not like the idea of the team seeing him have a full breakdown, only Trevor has seen him like that. And he wants it to stay that way. He needs more time than just 5 minutes in the bathroom. The thought of going home and being in the comfort of his bed, knowing he's safe and can curl up until he feels ready to emerge from his mountain of pillows and weighted blankets, feels rather appealing to him. He wants to go home. “Can we go? I don’t think I can go back out there as if I'm okay.”
Before he can even blink, Trevor is pulling his keys out of his back pocket, swinging them on a finger, and saying, “Yeah of course bud, let's go home.” And something in Jamie lights up, the thought of Trevor saying ‘Let’s go home’ as if they were a married couple with three kids, lights a fire deep inside Jamie. He likes the thought of them being together.