Archive of Our Own

Zhongli has a number of problems in his life. This is to be expected, as it is the case with any human with a rich internal life.

Some of his problems are rather common - for example, he has an essay title he isn’t sure how to approach.

Some of his problems are rather specific - for example, his usual tea shop has decided to discontinue his favourite blend and he isn’t sure where to buy more of the right quality.

One of his problems is both common and specific at the same time. He is hopelessly and hopefully infatuated with his roommate, who does not appear to return his feelings.

Another one of his problems is too specific. Said roommate won’t stop waking him up in the middle of the night to ask the most inane questions.

“Zhongli,” comes the whispered plea one night, rousing him from his pleasant yet unfortunately light sleep.

“… what?” Zhongli says, and mentally steels himself for whatever nonsense Childe is going to ask him this time.

“You’re gay, right?”

“Yes.”

He had made a point to slip it into a conversation with Childe as subtly as he could. Just so Childe would be aware, on the off chance that it was only a question of Zhongli’s sexuality that was preventing Childe from throwing himself at Zhongli. He doesn’t see why Childe would find the need to clarify it now, when clearly no throwing is going to happen.

“How… how did you know?”

There’s too much to unpack there. “Childe,” he sighs, reaching for his phone and blinding himself when he unlocks it. “It’s 1:07 am. Must we do this now?”

“I guess not,” Childe continues, as though he genuinely believes that it is of the utmost importance that they deal with this right now and not at almost literally any other time of day. Zhongli refuses to believe he does, for the sake of his own sanity. “Good night, Zhongli.”

“Good night, Childe,” he replies, rolls over, and promptly fails to go back to blessed sleep.

Why is Childe thinking about his sexuality? He tries to think of any valid reason for it. Maybe Childe’s just curious as to what it’s like? He has assumed that Childe is straight based off the complete lack of interest he’s shown in Zhongli or any other man for that matter, but then again Childe hasn’t exactly shown a lot of interest in women either. Zhongli has watched multiple people make moves on Childe - himself included - and every time Childe has masterfully turned them down with such a grace it inspires neither bitterness nor indignance.

The topic of his roommate’s sexuality continues to vex him. It does not Childe, because it doesn’t take long for him to start snoring.

Typical. Zhongli could count on both hands the number of times he’s been in this situation, with Childe snoring away while Zhongli stares up into the dark, thinking what the fuck did he mean by that.

Even with Childe falling asleep before him, Zhongli wakes up first, leaving him even more time to contemplate Childe’s words. He comes up with two options.

Either, Childe is simply curious. This is perfectly fine - even admirable - behaviour from him and fits with his personality.

Or perhaps… Childe is simply a late bloomer regarding the topic of romance? This would also fit with his personality.

He doesn’t want to get his hopes up nor does he want to wallow in this bay of questioning, so that afternoon when Childe is awake and in control of his faculties he approaches him.

“Is there anything you want to ask me now, while I’m awake?”

He doesn’t really expect Childe to commit. Childe doesn’t usually have any interest in following up any of the questions he asks - Zhongli isn’t even sure if he remembers most of them.

“Yeah. How did you know you were gay?” Childe asks, completely casually, as though it’s a completely casual thing to ask someone.

“I see.” Zhongli thinks back to his two options, and the hopeful half of him wins. “By chance, Childe, are you having a crisis of your own sexuality?”

“No,” Childe says, his voice an octave higher than it usually is.

This is, as Guizhong would call it, a win for Zhongli, but he does his best to not let it go to his head.

“Well,” he clears his throat, “if you must know, it became rather apparent to me when I started thinking about kissing boys and neglected to start thinking about kissing girls.”

At the time, it had seemed rather clear cut to him. Even if that hadn’t been the case, fantasising about Childe whimpering beneath him would have also been a giveaway by now.

Childe nods. “Have you kissed any boys?”

“I have, yes.”

Childe nods again. Zhongli wonders if Childe is this attentive in his lectures, too.

Childe licks his lips. “What was it like?”

“… It was fine. It reaffirmed that I am gay, if that’s what you’re asking.”

He waits for the next one, but it seems that Chile is preoccupied with doing his best to retain all this information.

“Any more questions?” Zhongli asks. “I would appreciate it if you could refrain from asking me questions in the middle of the night.”

For both the sake of his sanity and his sleep.

“But you always have answers,” Childe protests, as though this justifies it. Really, he’s fortunate he’s so attractive in both looks and personality. Zhongli doesn’t know if he would tolerate this kind of tomfoolery from a roommate who wasn’t so lovely.

“While I am flattered by your faith in me, I would still prefer to answer these questions at a more reasonable hour.”

“Alright,” Childe agrees. “Sorry.”

Zhongli does not believe him for a minute.

The matter of Childe’s sexuality is not put to rest for very long, because that same evening, while Zhongli is busy listening to Azdaha talk about his newest addition to his rock collection, Guizhong elbows him sharply in the ribs.

“Oof,” he says, giving her a glare, but she ignores that to gesture instead.

“Look over there. Isn’t that your roommate? The one you’re super into but he’s super straight?” She hisses excitedly.

“I don’t know about that,” Zhongli murmurs, as he looks over to where indeed, Childe is sitting, back turned to them.

“No, it’s definitely him,” Ping says.

“I know that - I mean, I don’t know if he’s super straight.”

There’s no need to deny the super into him part, because while Guizhong is exaggerating for comic effect, her words are technically an adequate sumisation of the woes he has confessed to them all.

Naturally, Cloud Retainer immediately seizes upon that, because she likes to pick at gossip like a bird does a worm. “What do you mean?” She insists. “Tell us.”

“Just that I don’t know if he’s super straight anymore,” Zhongli says, and artfully takes a long, slow sip of his drink as he enjoys the dramatic and outraged outbursts from his friends.

Even as he weaponises his (lack of) love life against his friends, he can’t help but glance back over to Childe. He’s sitting there alone, watching the other patrons like a hawk, wearing his favourite shirt. He knows it’s his favourite shirt, because Childe had excitedly told him one day.

(“Look at my shirt, Zhongli!” He’d said proudly, twisting in front of their mirror. “It’s got narwhals on it - isn’t it great?”

“It does indeed,” Zhongli had said, looking not at the narwhals but instead the strip of tempting skin that practically shone where Childe had left his shirt unbuttoned.)

Now, Childe is wrong about it being his best shirt - which is in fact a dark blue one that’s short sleeved and shows off his biceps beautifully - but Zhongli has the grace to not inform him of that.

Childe is alone at the bar, wearing (what he believes to be) his most flattering shirt, staring down strangers.

Just after pestering Zhongli about his sexuality.

Ah.

Childe is here for a date.

It’s sour knowledge. Zhongli is not above jealousy (it is healthy, after all, to have a wide range of emotions) so he quickly resolves to commit to one of two plays here.

The first option is to faint dramatically, potentially smashing his head on the unclean floorboards, before Childe’s date gets here. The pros of this would be not having to see whoever has triggered Childe’s sexual awakening, and also hopefully causing Childe to cancel on a short notice the date. The cons are getting blood on Guizhong’s shoes and never hearing the end of it, and Childe possibly not cancelling the date and Zhongli having caused himself grievous bodily harm for nothing.

The second option is exactly the same, but he does it just as Childe’s date arrives instead.

“You’re the worst, Zhongli,” Cloud Retainer hisses at him.

He is, so he lets that slide.

Childe’s mystery date doesn’t seem to appear, so at the urging of Guizhong, he finally makes his way over, and taps Childe’s muscled shoulder to grab his attention.

Childe, surprised, makes the most ridiculous noise Zhongli has ever heard. It makes him want to kiss him.

“Hello,” he says instead of doing that. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Oh, I didn’t expect to see you here either. I didn’t know you went here,” Childe says, his cheeks turning an endearing shade of pink, even though what he has just said is nonsense. This is the only bar on campus. Of course Zhongli has been here multiple times.

“Some coursemates and I are celebrating. They invited me out.”

He pauses, then decides to broach the subject of Childe’s potential date. “Are you here with friends, by any chance?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

Something about the way he says it must make Childe defensive, because he then explains, “I’m trying to find someone to make out with.”

That is… not what Zhongli was expecting. He isn’t sure if Guizhong would count this as a win for him or not. He supposes it is, because it means Childe is still single.“I see. Are you having any luck?”

“No,” Childe admits, and Zhongli mentally pictures the crowd applauding. “I’m not really an expert at this stuff.”

Now that is something that isn’t surprising. Given Childe’s sheer expertise at evading hookups, it stands to reason that he isn’t very good when he does want the attention to come. Still, Zhongli knows that the longer he stands here, the less likely it is that Childe will find someone to kiss. If he had known that this was going to be happening, he wouldn’t have dressed so casually and put some more thought into his appearance before he left. Never mind that Childe has seen him dressed like this before.

There is an art to these kinds of things, afterall.

He searches for something to say. “I am rather surprised you are not attempting a dating app,” he finally settles on, reaching out and touching once again Childe’s muscled shoulder. “Good for you, going the more traditional route.”

It’s good for Zhongli, at least. He’s sure Childe would be metaphorically drowning in genitalia were he to try and use an app.

“Well, you know me. I love reality. Face to face conversations.”

Zhongli thinks about all the times he’s been woken up at night by Childe swearing on the mic at some stranger across the country. “You spend most of your free time playing video games with strangers.”

“This is different though! I’m looking for connection,” Childe insists, rather cutely.

“So are most people, I wager,” Zhongli says dryly, as he stares at the man he has a one sided connection with.

“No, not like that. I just - I want to try kissing a guy. I’m not looking to date.”

“Oh,” he says. He hadn’t realised it was quite so casual, but he can see the logic now. He is even more fortunate than he thought that Childe has elected, for some reason, to find a kiss in the one place in a two mile radius of the university that sells alcohol that isn’t full of desperate, drunk, stimulated students.

He waits for Childe to ask to kiss him with no strings attached. It does not come. “If all you’re looking for is a kiss, must it be a stranger?”

“Well, not really.”

He waits again for Childe to ask. He still doesn’t. “I am correct in assuming you’re hoping a man will kiss you?”

“What? How’d you know?” Childe asks, as though Zhongli doesn’t have a lick of common sense and pattern recognition in his body.

“Two days ago you asked me what it was like to kiss a man and now I find you uncharacteristically searching for a hookup?”

“Okay, you got me there.”

Zhongli has now confirmed that Childe is indeed searching for a man who is not necessarily a stranger to kiss him. Yet again, he waits patiently for the other shoe to drop.

The shoe stays firmly on Childe’s foot, and Zhongli mourns the fact that apparently Childe’s tastes are even more incomprehensible than he had originally anticipated. “Very well. I’ll leave you to your amorous attempts.”

Childe gives him a cheery wave, and says brightly, “see ya!”

Zhongli returns to his friends’ table, to find them all staring at him. “What is it?” he asks, even though he is well aware what they are all trying to ask right now with their blank eyes.

Still, as much as he would like to air his woes and general grievances with cupid to them, he thinks playing dumb will cheer him up more.

“What did you say? What happened?” Cloud Retainer asks.

Ping, who out of his friendship circle has always been the one most gifted with general decorum skills such as basic human empathy, says, “are you alright? You don’t look like that went well.”

“I don’t know what you expected me to say,” he lies as he climbs back into his chair. “We had a perfectly pleasant and mundane conversation, as is standard between two roommates who get along well.”

“You’re lying,” Cloud Retainer accuses, her narrowed stare boring into him.

“I understand that those among us who hate their roommates may not understand,” Zhongli says, patiently and calmly. “But these things do occur.”

“Piss off.”

And thus, does Zhongli manage to move the conversation away from his miserable (non existent) love life.

He still wonders if he should still do the fainting distraction, but his friends leave before Childe manages to find someone and Zhongli is not going to sit there alone and stare at Childe. Besides, if his friends aren’t there, there’s no one to give out the shocked gasps and despairing wails that would catch Childe’s attention, so he heads home, gets into bed and manages to fall asleep.

His sleep is once again broken by Childe, who stumbles back home rather noisily and also turns on the light.

He assumes that this is a mistake, and Childe will turn it back off and manage to get himself into bed with only a minor inconvenience to Zhongli’s suffering sleep schedule, but Zhongli has always set his ambitions too high.

Childe neither turns the light back off nor gets into bed. Zhongli can hear him come to stand right next to him, and feels the prickles of being watched on the back of his neck.

Apparently hoping that Childe will at least say something is also too much for the universe to bear, so he gives in first. “Is there a problem, Childe?”

Childe squeaks, in an incredible impression of a dog toy. Sadly, Zhongli doesn’t think it’s purposeful. “I didn’t realise you were awake!”

“You woke me up when you came in. I was hoping you would have the grace to let me go back to sleep.” Sometimes, Zhongli thinks about what his younger self would say were he to explain to him you’re going to have a roommate, and he is going to be utterly ridiculous, but he is going to be so lovely you endure it all willingly. He reaches for his phone and checks the time. “It’s almost one am.”

“Sorry. I wanted to ask you about gaydar?”

“Gaydar?”

“Yeah. Do you have it?”

Zhongli’s eyes are still a little blurry from sleep and the sudden awakening, but from what he can tell, Childe is completely serious. “No. I do not,” Zhongli says, wishing bitterly he did so that he could put this farce to rest maybe.

“Maybe I am gay then,” Childe says, eerily close to how someone sounds when they have a huge revelation. Zhongli is past the point in his life where he believes that revelations at one am are worth anything, but Childe is likely not. And is definitely drunk.

“Pardon?”

“Oh. I didn’t have a kiss.”

That explains absolutely nothing, but Zhongli has manners. “Apologies.”

“Don’t be, it’s fine.”

Childe appears to be working through something, which isn’t surprising, so Zhongli waits patiently. He briefly considers going back to sleep in the meantime, but what Childe says next is so out of the blue it vanishes any thought of sleep.

“Zhongli. Will you have sex with me?”

He must have misheard? Perhaps he has fallen asleep, and will wake up to find Childe asking something completely innocuous. Beneath the covers, he pinches himself. “What?”

“To find out if I’m gay.”

So much is happening inside Zhongli’s head right now, and so little is happening on Childe’s face. He looks expectant, slightly flushed, eyes bright, like he’s just asked Zhongli to stop by somewhere on his way home and get him something.

Zhongli is pretty much incapable of saying no to Childe, even if he knows this is just because Childe’s drunk and it’s the middle of the night and he doesn’t actually mean it.

“Childe, it’s two minutes to one in the morning. Can we discuss your sexuality at a more reasonable hour?”

Childe pouts. “… Okay.” Then he gets over it. “Goodnight Zhongli. Sorry for waking you.”

“Mhm. Goodnight Childe.”

He listens to Childe undress and climb into bed.

Five minutes later, Childe is snoring away peacefully, while Zhongli is lying there, thinking why the fuck did he ask me to have sex with him if he doesn’t even want to kiss me?

The light is still on.

Sometimes, specifically when it’s one am and your devastatingly hot and endearingly upbeat roommate who you have a huge crush on leaves the light on when you’re already in bed, life is very hard.

It’s not unusual for Zhongli to wake before Childe, and the next day is no exception. He finishes his morning ablutions, and texts Guizhong.

Last night Childe asked to have sex with me, he writes. Guizhong is a dear and trusted friend. While he knows that in all likelihood, Childe will flush with embarrassment at the memory and assure Zhongli it was just because he was drunk and he doesn’t actually want to sleep with him (boo), this is a potential minefield in their otherwise good if tortuous relationship.

Guizhong’s reply does not come for a while, and he has his phone on silent so he misses it initially. Still, he is relieved when he does see the number next to the app, and opens it up.

Congrats on losing your virginity!

Never mind. Guizhong is no longer a dear and trusted friend.

I’m not going to dignify that with a response, he responds, and switches to a different conversation.

Morning, he types out, last night Childe came home drunk and asked if I was willing to have sex with him. I am looking for advice and not witty comebacks.

The response is immediate.

What did you say? - xoxo, Ping

He sighs in relief. He knew Ping would be kind and understanding.

That we should discuss it in the morning. I’m concerned that he only asked me because he knows I am gay and interested and I am embarrassing and humiliating myself if I seem too keen. On the other hand, I cannot disabuse him of the notion that I would like relations with him too hard… as well as the fact that he deserves the right to explore his new interest in his own sexuality.

He watches the dots with apt attention.

I understand. I think you should ask him questions gently. He doesn’t seem the type from what you have said to be mean. I suspect he probably is interested? - xoxo, Ping

Thank you. I will buy you your favourite garlic bread next time we meet for lunch.

Guizhong says pre-emptive congratulations on losing your virginity. - xoxo, Ping

I am no longer buying you garlic bread.

He huffs frustratedly, and half heartedly continues essay writing. It’s not long before he hears Childe stir, and looks over.

He’s blinking groggily, with the worst bed head Zhongli’s ever seen on him - and Zhongli’s seen a lot of Childe’s bed heads.

“Good morning Childe. How are you feeling?”

He gets his response when Childe lets out a pained groan, and closes his eyes again.

“I suppose that is my answer. I can get you water.”

“... please.” Childe’s voice is still raspy.

It is the least he can do for him, if he’s going to be probing him later, so he fetches a glass and places it gently next to Childe, who doesn’t stir.

“What time is it?”

“It’s gone eleven. You should get out of bed.”

“That’s not that late.”

“For you, maybe not.”

There’s little he can do if Childe doesn’t want to get up, so he goes back to writing while he waits for Childe to join the land of the living. This is usually a lengthy process, and it takes Childe another fifteen minutes before Zhongli hears him go for the water.

Then he stops.

“Uh, Zhongli,” Childe says, voice still raspy, but now also unsure. “Did I ask to have sex with you last night?”

This is it. The moment of truth. “You did. Are you willing to discuss this now?”

He stops typing, and turns to give Childe his full attention, fully expecting Childe to backtrack. To say that he was just drunk. To say he’s not interested in Zhongli.

So it nearly takes him out when Childe says instead, “yeah, I am. I want to try having sex with a guy. So yeah, will you have sex with me?”

There’s no hint of insincerity. No hint of this being a joke taken too far. Just Childe, with his pretty blue eyes and lovely long eyelashes blinking at him.

And - well, he’s thrilled at the idea. But also devastated by the knowledge that Childe is just doing this to experiment rather than because he’s actually into Zhongli.

He pictures Ping’s words in his mind. He needs to take this calmly and rationally. “You know, most people don’t like hearing that someone only wants to sleep with them for the sake of getting a notch in their bed post. You ought to work on your pick up game if you do want to have sex.”

“That’s a good point. Well, it’s alright if you don’t want to. I’ll just use an app or something. Will you help me set up a profile? Oh, and what if he wants to come here to have sex? I’ll need to coordinate with you.”

Never mind. This is the worst moment of Zhongli’s life. He considers passing away right then and there.

It turns out there is something worse than Childe only wanting to sleep with him to try out dick like a delicacy (Zhongli internally cringes at that) is Childe trying to do that but with other men because Zhongli said no.

There’s also… something about this situation. Zhongli has heard of people trying kisses to experiment. He doesn’t think he knows of anyone who figured to jump in the deep end.

“If I may…” he starts, and thinks about how to broach to Childe that he is probably already into men. “If you are very serious about having sex with a man I would say that you are probably already gay or bisexual. As a general rule of thumb, straight men do not commit to having gay sex.”

Childe does not take the news that he isn’t straight as gracefully as he had hoped.

“Statistically though, not everyone who experiments is gay through, right? Must be plenty of people who got curious and didn’t like it when they tried it. Maybe I’m like that. Sometimes just because you fancy it, doesn’t mean you want it to happen in real life?”

Oh, he can’t help but focus on one thing in that. He has to ask. “Have you been thinking a lot about having gay sex?”

“I mean, I’m curious about it.”

Breathe, Zhongli.

Across from him, Childe blinks, apparently completely unaware of how hysterical he has just made Zhongli. There’s two halves of him right now - one is very interested in the mental image of Childe fantasising about having sex with men, and the other is trying to work out how a person can fantasise about having gay sex and still be so clueless.

Scratch that. He’s best friends with both Guizhong and Ping, and had been unfortunately treated to a front row seat of that piece of denial theatre. Even so, this is getting to be a bit much.

“Again, that would indicate that you are not straight. In my general understanding, straight men do not also think about having gay sex.”

“You say that, but I read this Reddit post about this guy who had a fetish-“

He stops Childe before he can plague Zhongli with whatever that was going to be. “Please. I do not need to hear this.” The idea of perishing on the spot is becoming more and more appealing by the second.

If he doesn’t agree, Childe will probably still find someone else. And that someone else wouldn’t be Zhongli. Perhaps this situation is ridiculous, but he can’t send Childe into… some den of hedonism when Zhongli is (so very) willing and will be sure to make sure anything they do is appropriate for Childe’s level of expertise.

Besides, Childe will almost certainly chicken out before the main event.

“Okay. I’ll have sex with you.”

“You will? Thanks Zhongli, you’re the best!” Childe chirps cheerfully, providing a shining example of just why Zhongli struggles to say no to him. If this situation was just about anything else and Zhongli didn’t feel like he was on the brink of a heart attack, he might be swooning.

There’s no way he’s actually going to commit to having sex.

“Seeing as we’ve just agreed to have sex, let me be frank. Are you sure you’ll be able to get hard with just me?”

It’s this that finally makes Childe look a little bashful, as appropriate for planning sex like it’s a study session. “If I can’t get hard for you, I don’t know if I’ll be able to get hard for any guy.” What the fuck- “What about you?”

Fortunately, Zhongli’s anatomy has proved itself many times before on this exact point. “I wouldn’t have agreed if I thought that was a problem.”

“Yay. Tomorrow night is good? I have volleyball practice tonight.”

“That sounds… agreeable.” What’s he supposed to say? Cancel your volleyball? What sort of person considers their volleyball timetable when they think about having sex? Childe’s sort, evidently.

When he had fantasised about sex with Childe, there had always been an unplanned element to it. He doesn’t think that’s unusual, but he supposes every so often the universe has to humble you and remind you that dreams aren’t reality.

Childe grins at him, and then shoves his hand out from under the sheets to give Zhongli a big thumbs up. “Sick. Can’t wait!”

“This is absurd,” Zhongli mutters to himself, and turns away before the idea of having a breakdown becomes just a little too tempting. He grabs his phone.

Morning again. Remember when I got mildly intoxicated and flirted with Childe only to be rebuffed?

Yes, why? -xoxo, Ping

I think he genuinely didn’t realise. I think I have feelings for the most clueless man on the planet.

Good luck -xoxo, Ping

He thinks he’ll need it.

The next two days are some of the most stressful of his life. He makes sure to buy lube (just in case) and spends as much time in front of the mirror in those two days as he usually spends in a month. Every time he sees Childe, or Childe opens his mouth, he assumes that he will tell him he’s changed his mind and it’s off.

They haven’t even kissed yet.

They go out for dinner before, and it amazes Zhongli that Childe can be so casual about this. Does he think that this is something most people do?

Perhaps he really does. The inner workings of his roommate’s mind has always been a mystery, he just didn’t realise quite how much of a mystery it was - like expecting theoretical physics and instead being faced with the Voynich manuscript. He waits patiently for Childe to back out the whole walk back, and when it doesn’t come he ends up filling the air with nervous chatter.

In no time at all they’re back at their room. He flicks on a light as Childe kicks off his shoes.

“So…” Childe starts, clearing his throat. “Are we…?”

This is perhaps the last moment to back out before anything actually starts. “If you still want to. Do you?”

“Yes,” Childe blurts out, and it makes Zhongli smile a little. As concerned as he is about Childe’s methods, he can’t say he isn’t pleased about being the one to do this with him, or say that he didn’t have a fulfilling dream last night about what they could be doing tonight.

He just wants Childe to be keen, really.

“How do we… start?”

Zhongli sits down, patting next to him. Childe settles in, and for a moment they just look at each other. They’re so close that he really admire Childe’s eyes like this, the ridges in his iris. He’s always loved Childe’s eyes, and how so deeply blue they are - the sky and the sea could never compete…

Childe opens his mouth. “Hey,” he says. “You’ve got really clear skin.”

That’s… not what he expected to come out Childe’s mouth rigjt now.

“Thank you. You do, too,” Zhongli says, because he was raised with manners. “Are you okay with me kissing you?”

Childe nods, and heart leaping into his throat, Zhongli leans forward until their lips are grazing.

It’s not much of a kiss, but it still makes Zhongli’s heart shudder. He wants to do more, but he reminds himself that this is about Childe’s experimenting, and pulls back. If Childe’s disgusted, there’s no sign of it on his face. “… How was that?” He asks.

“No tongue?”

“I didn’t know if you would want that.”

“I’ve committed to having sex with you, I think I can handle a bit of tongue. Come on, make out with me?”

This is something he’s definitely dreamed about once or twice or more. Childe, just a bit cocky, just a bit demanding, very much into him. He can feel his face start to flush as Childe grins and leans in this time-

Their lips meet more forcefully, mouths parting, and Zhongli can’t help slipping his tongue into Childe’s mouth. Childe’s tongue is clumsy, unsure, but he pushes it against Zhongli’s and it still makes his blood rush. Zhongli thinks he could die happy right now, all he can think about is Childe right now and how he tastes, how he feels, and then Childe reaches up to cup Zhongli’s face.

Again, he wants to keep going, but the sudden sensation reminds him that Childe really has no clue what he’s doing.

It seems unseemly, but that just makes Zhongli want him more.

He pulls back, maybe to just make sure again that Childe really is okay with this, or just make sure he’s not getting too carried away - but that thought is thrown completely out the window when he hears Childe’s breath hitch, close enough still that he can feel the tendrils of warm breath when he exhales. It drives him crazy, and he’s powerless against himself when he dives back in again, desperate for more Childe.

It may just be for tonight, or until this kiss ends, but right now, Childe’s his.

This kiss isn’t as soft as gentle as it should be, but electricity shoots through Zhongli as Childe eagerly responds instead of shying away. They’re a mess of uncoordinated movements, bumping and sloppy, but it’s so real and so now and Childe.

He’s loathe to pull away, but he eventually does, satisfaction welling him at Childe’s pink and shiny lips.

For a few moments they stay like that, too close and too far.

Then Childe shifts back to grasp the hem of his top and starts pulling it.

It takes a second to register what he’s doing. Stripping?

“What are… Did the kissing really give you no idea?” He asks, perplexed. They’d kissed - it had been good. There’s no way Childe would kiss him as eagerly as that if he wasn’t into men at least a little.

“Well for all I know, it’s just that you’re a really good kisser,” Childe states, so matter of fact.

Maybe it shouldn’t, but that makes him chuckle. Should he really be looking this gift horse in the mouth? “Well, I’ve had worse compliments in my time.”

Childe’s T-shirt lands inelegantly on the floor, and for once Zhongli can’t find it in him to complain. He’s seen Childe’s chest before - Childe isn’t the most body shy, and Zhongli is definitely not in a position to blame him or protest - but this is the first time he’s truly been able to appreciate the sight before him. His mouth suddenly dries up at the expanse of skin, the hard pink nipples, the ginger trail leading down… he can’t decide which bit he wants to lick first.

So distracting is Childe’s chest that Zhongli doesn’t actually notice Childe’s hand moving until he feels the warm grasp around his wrist, tugging gently. He feels bewitched as Childe leads him to his narrow waist, encouraging him to touch. Oh, and touch Zhongli does, in awe at the way it finally feels to have Childe’s waist in his hand. It’s perfect.

“Zhongli,” Childe murmurs, unbearably sweet yet hot and earnest, “you'll take care of me, right?”

Oh.

Zhongli’s so hard.

He doesn’t even think, he just reacts, lurching forward to kiss Childe again, desperate to touch and taste him more. And Childe is so obliging under him, kissing him back just as fiercely, slipping his tongue into Zhongli’s mouth, letting out such noises… He can’t resist the skin beneath him either, running his hands all over what soft skin he can reach, feeling the way Childe’s stomach muscles twitch under the warm, smooth, soft skin. He leans forward too far and the momentum shifts - Childe falls back to the bed easily, Zhongli following after just as surely. He kisses Childe’s mouth, the defined line of his jawbone to his ear, and then down the vulnerable skin of his neck, so beautifully bared for him… the sensation of Childe’s pulse thudding beneath his lips is so intimate, he can’t help the heat that pools in his abdomen. He distantly wonders if Childe can feel his erection, but if he can, he doesn’t say anything- just letting out soft gasps every now and then.

He’s loath to part, but he must at some point, only when enough of the burning desire to lick every part of Childe’s skin has been sated enough.

“Does it feel good?”

He needs to hear it - that he’s doing a good job. That Childe is getting off on this, that Zhongli is capable of pleasuring him.

If he messes this up or gives Childe a bad experience…

“… Yeah. Do you want me to do it back to you?” Childe asks.

“You needn’t do anything you don’t want to.”

“Okay, but this needs to be fun for you too. Besides, we need you hard if you’re going to be going in me.”

That makes Zhongli pull back a little, partly because he’s touched that Childe is also concerned with him, partly because Childe somehow hasn’t realised that Zhongli’s never been so hard in his life. Mostly because of the fact that Childe has so casually decided that Zhongli will be fucking him.

The question hadn’t been something Zhongli had bothered to consider because he never seriously thought it would get this far. Also because he didn’t want to think too hard about what happened if it did, not without knowing he could jack off in the immediate future with no fear of having Childe walk in on him.

“… We never actually discussed who was going to be topping. You want to bottom?”

“Yeah, unless you want to bottom, in wh-“

Zhongli cuts in because he can’t now stop thinking about actually putting his dick inside Childe and he really doesn’t want him to change his mind now he’s brought it up. “No. I am very happy with this arrangement.” He needs to distract himself from doing something unseemly, like orgasming prematurely from the new mental image of Childe fingering himself in his bed, daydreaming of bottoming. He finally gives in to his urge to take one of Childe’s pert nipples into his mouth, giving it a hard suck. Childe doesn’t push him off, so he goes back for more before switching to the other nipple. Childe moans.

“I’m going to touch your cock now,” Zhongli says, just as a heads up. Just in case Childe is fine with saying he wants to have sex and making out sloppily and having his nipples sucked, but the dick touching is just a step too far.

Though Childe barely has time to give his consent before Zhongli is impatiently reaching down to claim his prize. Childe’s hips push up, up into his greedy touch, and Zhongli takes full advantage.

How long has he dreamed of this? How many times has he imagined the feeling of Childe's hard cock under his hand, hot even through the thick fabric?How divine it would be to draw sounds of pleasure from Childe’s mouth? While usually in his fantasies there’s no annoying clothes in the way and the circumstances are wholly different, he’s too ecstatic to let that discrepancy bring this moment down.

“Ah, Zhongli-”

“Good?”

“Yes, yes -“ Childe sounds so deliciously desperate already, hands dipping down to his waist to tug at his sweatpants. That’s all the confirmation Zhongli needs to help him strip, peeling the waistband down until Childe’s in nothing but his boxers.

They have seashells on them. Of course.

Zhongli is sure that Childe is no doubt convinced that these are his most flattering pair, in the same vein of delusion that has him convinced his narwhal shirt is his best.

In the future, Zhongli thinks he would be very happy to see Childe in all his underwear choices and evaluate which is truly the superior pair. But right now he leans back in, wanting to feel that warm cock in his hand again.

He’s stopped in this endeavour by Childe once again tugging at the remainder of his clothes, the elastic band of the boxers slipping down over a hip, revealing more… Zhongli can feel his heart beat in his throat as he once again helps, drawing them down until Childe’s dick is free.

He can’t peel his eyes away. He’s never liked the look of someone’s dick so much, but that isn’t surprising when it belongs to Childe.

Will Childe be okay with Zhongli sucking him off at some point tonight? He hopes so. Belatedly, he realises that Childe’s ridiculous boxers are still halfway up his thighs, and finishes stripping Childe.

This situation is so incredible, he can’t get his head around it. His roommate, who he had previously assumed was straight or at least uninterested, is now in his bed. Naked. With an erection.

And he still can’t look away from Childe’s happy trail, or the adonis belt, or his balls, or the way his cock curves slightly.

Childe’s voice breaks him out of his blatant and unrepentant ogling. “Is it okay?” He asks, nervous, and for a moment Zhongli feels bad. This is about Childe, and evidently even someone as free-spirited as Childe can get shy.

“You’re beautiful, Childe. So attractive,” he assures him, leaning down for another kiss, not bothering with the pretence this time of innocence or civility. He doesn’t just want Childe to feel placated, but so aroused he forgets any sense of shame.

Which is as good of an excuse as any to go back to his new favourite pastime, fondling Childe. Finally Zhongli gets to trace his fingers through his coarse pubic hair and feel him, skin on skin. Childe’s erection throbs in his hold, precum already dripping from the tip. He relishes in the feel of it, and tries to commit every detail to memory. Anything to keep Childe gasping underneath him and into his mouth. The kiss becomes increasingly desperate as all Zhongli focuses on discovering how to touch Childe and what he likes best, starting from the tip and working his way down until he’s cupping Childe’s balls.

Childe pulls back with a wet sound. “Wait,” he says, pushing back on Zhongli’s chest.

It’s like an instant dousing of cold water on him. Immediate from hero to zero. “What is it?” He says, letting go. Has he gone too far? Or… “have you decided you’re straight?”

It paints a picture in his mind. Childe, flicking his hair, with a sorry Zhongli, you have chased away any homosexuality I had in me as he waltzes out the door. Zhongli, left using a handkerchief to virginally dab away his tears with a melancholic erection.

“No. You’re going to make me come,” Childe gasps out, like that’s a bad thing and not what Zhongli was aiming - dare he say even hoping - for.

“… is that not the goal of this exercise?”

“Not now! Not like this.” He licks his lips, an unfairly interesting movement. “Let me suck you off.”

Perhaps too interesting. “What?”

“It’s very homosexual to have another guy’s dick in your mouth.”

“Incredible logic there, Childe,” he hears himself say, truly lost for words. There is logic - he can’t deny that - but it’s not logic he would approve of. Or follow himself.

Still, he doesn’t complain when Childe’s deft fingers land on the top button of his shirt and starts to pull apart the fabric. “I’m not wrong. Let me sit up for this,” he says, as Zhongli feels the first button come undone.

He swallows thickly, mind swimming with the implications and possibilities. “Are you sure?” He pulls back, and Childe pushes up to follow him, fingers still working on the buttons. When Zhongli glances down, he can watch those hands undress him, brushing against the newly revealed skin and sending sparks through his nerves.

“About stripping you? Yeah, of course. I can’t be the only one naked, it’s sex,” Childe says, as though it’s obvious - he doesn’t even pause to think about this. It’s so Childe, to just… jump in and commit with no second guessing.

“I meant about blowing me, obviously,” Zhongli says as normally as he can considering that Childe is halfway down his chest, biting his lip in concentration cutely.

“Only if you promise not to hate me if I do a bad job.”

Impossible, unless Childe is actually the greatest actor of his generation and this some incredibly well played long-term revenge plan. Even then, Zhongli thinks he would be more impressed than spiteful at the sheer dedication.

He doesn’t move when Childe finally finishes with his shirt and tugs it open. It’s not like him to be frozen like this, but then again, Childe has always excelled in turning Zhongli inside out and upside down.

“Damn,” Childe breathes out, making direct eye contact with his nipple.

“What?”

“You’re hot, Zhongli. Anyone ever tell you that?”

No, no one has until now- and all of a sudden he is far too conscious of exactly how much saliva is in his mouth. He swallows and wonders if he should tell Childe the truth. Oh, he’s blushing like a sap, he can feel it.

Evidently, Childe has better things to do than wait. His finger reaches out like something from Michelangelo’s The Creation of Adam and prods into the skin just to the side of his overworking heart.

“You have,” Zhongli says, and Childe finally breaks his staring contest with his nipple to look back at his face, a soft grin spreading across his lips.

Zhongli’s about to lean in to cup those cheeks in his palms and kiss him again when Childe speaks. “Can you take off your trousers now?”

“... Right, of course.” Zhongli summons anything left he can salvage of his composure and hastily pulls down his trousers and underwear so they’re both naked.

Childe looks. His head dips nearly a full ninety degrees in an instant - there’s not even an attempt at subtlety.

“You’re hard!” He exclaims, fist pumping.

Zhongli doesn’t need to look to know. “... Yes.” Had it been in doubt? “I think if I wasn’t hard after seeing you naked and moaning I would have to be made of stone.”

“Bad analogy, stone’s always hard.”

“That’s not the point here, Childe.”

“Yeah. Right.”

Childe effectively wins the discussion by actually touching Zhongli’s dick and rendering the most intelligent part of his brain moot. The pad of his fingertip is achingly soft as it brushes over the very crown of him,blissfully unaware of the way it sets all of Zhongli’s body alight. It’s a good thing he stripped, he thinks, as Childe turns his hand to slide his whole hand down and around his shaft. For a moment it stays like that, cradled in Childe’s hold as their lips meet again.Then Childe slides his hand in such a way that Zhongli can barely stand it, then they part. Immediately, his mouth misses Childe’s and his erection misses his touch.

He’s only somewhat placated by Childe pushing him down on the bed with a soft “lie down.” He flops back willingly, craning his head up to watch as Childe follows after him, lying down with his head right above his hip, staring at Zhongli’s erection where it lies against his stomach.

He’s seen Childe give the same look to spiders he finds in their room before he captures and takes them out. It is not… the ideal expression to see on anyone’s face when they’re about ten inches from your most intimate anatomy.

What’s the most polite way to ask someone if they’re really sure about giving a blowjob? He doesn't want to hurt Childe’s feelings, nor does he want to give the impression that he doesn't want one because- oh-

Childe lowers his head, blocking Zhongli’s vision. But he can feel the wet pressure of a tongue against his glans. He closes his eyes, focuses on the sensation as Childe does it again, holding him in place at the base. It’s like he can practically feel the taste buds on Childe’s tongue, swiping over the slit and down to the the flare of his head, making his fingers slide against the sheets.

There’s the softness of a plush bottom lip against him, and then his tip is engulfed in the wet heat of Childe’s mouth - he hears a groan be punched out of his mouth at the sensation. He opens his eyes just in time to watch how the artificial light reflects off Childe’s ginger locks as his head dips down, saliva and tongue and just a bit of accidental teeth sliding so slowly over the sensitive skin of his shaft.

It’s so much. It’s sloppy and eager and wet and clumsy and hot.

He’s in heaven.

Childe’s hand that he’s using for support digs almost painfully into the meat of his thigh, nails just sharp enough to feel. There’s the sound of Zhongli’s own breathing, unnaturally loud, but not drowning out the slick sounds drawn from Childe’s mouth and throat.

It’s both unbearable and the best experience of his life.

Zhongli reaches out to him, carding his fingers through the locks he’s always wanted to touch. The orange is a stark contrast to his hands, and he can’t help but groan out Childe’s name.

Childe lets out a strangled noise in response, whatever he was trying to say completely ruined by his throat being filled with cock. His cock. That knowledge burns hot and bright in Zhongli’s stomach, heat pooling in his abdomen.

He can’t see Childe’s expression from this angle, not really, but he wants to - oh how he wants to. He wants to see the way Childe’s eyebrows furrow in concentration, wants the see the blush on his cheeks, he wants to see himself securely held in the ring of Childe’s mouth.

When Childe moves next, it’s to drag up torturously slowly, the glide of spit and lip too much for Zhongli to take - he can feel his foot arch and scramble at the sensation. He’s not going to last long at all. It seems to take an age for Childe to reach the apex, and then he sinks down again, keeping the slow pace. It’s too much.

He does try to get a warning out before he comes, but he is completely unsuccessful. There’s no time before he feels himself twitch against the soft palate, flooding Childe with ejaculate.

The hand that had been in Childe’s hair flops lazily back to the bed as Zhongli tries to catch his breath. He expects a complaint, or at the least Childe to make a quick dash to the bathroom.

Neither happens. Childe sits up - and Zhongli cringes at the feeling of his own spend dripping down his still sensitive shaft, and then completely stops when he sees Childe lips and chin stained white - and audibly swallows, his adam’s apple bobbing.

Childe’s first to break the silence, rubbing a thumb across his chin. “Was that okay?” He asks tentatively, before pushing a come coated finger into his mouth. Zhongli is going to think of this night forever. He’s never going to need porn again in his life, he just has to remember this moment.

“Yes,” he says, before kicking himself. “No, better than okay. That was good.”

“Great! I’m starting to think I’m not straight.”

Just starting to? Zhongli thinks, as close to hysterical as he can get when half of him feels like jelly. “You don’t say.”

Childe nods, completely bypassing any of the sarcasm in Zhongli’s tone. “Okay. So do you think we can still do it?”

Sucking another man off and swallowing his come isn’t enough? Is there really any doubt remaining in Childe’s head?

“You still want to have sex?” He asks, just in case the blowjob scrambled a bit too much of his mental faculties.

Childe scoffs. “Well, yeah, of course! That’s why we’re here.”

“Okay.” He nods. He think he can manage sex soon. If he can’t he’ll punch himself in the dick later. “Okay. We’re still having sex. Just… give me a minute.”

Childe sighs, and settles down next to Zhongli on the bed. Zhongli can’t help but tilt closer to admire him again - the way his hair is still messy from Zhongli’s hand earlier, the way his cheeks are still flushed. He’s so pretty, and he’s naked and close. Zhongli can’t help but lean in for a kiss.

“Wait - Don’t you - I’ll taste like you,” Childe stutters out, leaning back, as though the fact he just had his mouth full of Zhongli’s ejaculate is something Zhongli is somehow unaware of. Something he would be able to disregard.

“I don’t care.”

That must be enough for Child because he practically melts against him until they’re so close Zhongli can barely tell them apart. Against his own, Childe’s skin is hot and soft, and against his mouth Childe groans. His heart is a stuttering thing, beating fast into Zhongli’s chest where they collide. Their legs intertwine, and Zhongli can feel Childe’s hot, hard length searing itself against his thigh.

He’s still hard, Zhongli thinks as he kisses Childe like his sexuality depends on it. The knowledge has him giddy. Not even Childe is going to deny he’s attracted to men after this.

He tugs him closer, and can’t help but put all his hope that finally his feelings are reciprocated into the kiss. He thinks it pays off when they part, and Childe chases him for more, leaving Zhongli no choice but to indulge again for a few moments.

But it’s time for more serious questions.

“Childe. Have you prepared?” He asks.

Childe blinks. “Prepared?” He says in a tone of voice that very much indicates he has not prepared.

“You said you wanted to bottom. You do realise that would usually involve some fingering to prepare you before sex, yes?”

“Ah,” Childe says rather bashfully. “Could you do it for me? Please? I’d like it to be you.”

How is he supposed to resist? Of course he will. How kind of Childe to phrase it like this, like Zhongli is helping him out of the grace of his heart and not lustful desires.

“Anything,” he breathes, leaning in to kiss him again, and again, arms coming round to cradle his body against him. They roll over on the bed until Childe’s pressed beneath him, pleasantly trapped. Childe’s arms wrap around his neck to keep him close, as they explore each other.

“Let me go get the lube,” he mutters against Childe’s mouth, and gives him another peck before he rolls away and sits up.

He had thought to buy lube before this, so it’s a completely new bottle of it. It’s a small miracle that he found a large enough healthcare store that he didn’t have to endure the horrors of finding an actual sex shop or the horrors of buying it online and having Childe ask what it was. He’d gone for what seemed the most generic and easy to use to cover as many bases as possible and to stop himself agonising over the different choices and qualities of lube.

He glances over at Childe, who’s watching him from the bed, skin flushed against his bedsheets and pink cock still lying against his stomach.

“Lie on your front. And spread your legs.” Zhongli is struck by a flash of lustful inspiration. “Maybe you could kneel over the bed.”

“Alright. I’m in your hands,” Childe says, making Zhongli’s stomach burn at the knowledge. By the time that Zhongli has unscrewed the lid and got rid of the seal of the lube, Childe’s already bent over the edge of the bed.

Oh, he’s so perfect and lewd and beautiful like this, so eager and exposed. It takes far too much willpower to not reach down and stroke himself to the side. It would be so easy to jack himself off to the sight and spill white all over the pale globes of Childe’s ass…

But he’s a gentleman. Or something close to it, taking into account current extenuating circumstances.

He gets behind Childe and smooths his hands over his cheeks, marvelling at the sensation, before he gently pulls at them to expose Childe’s rim. It twitches at him enticingly above a perineum that he longs to drag his fingers over, and below the perineum hang a pretty set of balls and a still hard and dripping cock. Perfect for him to touch and kiss and lick, and he breathes a soft sigh.

Under his fingers, he can feel Childe’s butt cheeks clench. “Zhongli…”

“Hm?” He asks, coming back to reality. Lube. That’s what he was doing before he got distracted with Childe’s backend. He lets go and squeezes a dollop of gel into his palm, mentally cringing at the sound and Childe’s amused noise. Typical Childe humour. “Try to relax, please,” he says, hoping his voice comes across as calming and instructional instead of how he feels - selfish, desperate, horniest he’s ever been even though he only just came.

Gently, he pushes Childe’s knees apart just a little more for better access and then glides his finger down from his coccyx to hole, rubbing the muscle there.

Childe does not relax. Zhongli watches as his body tenses up at the sensation. His hands fist the mussed up sheets, but his erection doesn’t look like it’s flagging.

“Relax,” he murmurs as he reaches out to trace lightly over the ridges and bumps of Childe’s spine. Hopefully it’s a comforting touch. “Are you embarrassed?”

He can barely make out Childe’s reply. “A little.”

It’s to be expected, Zhongli supposes. Childe’s never been egotistical about his looks and body, and presumably has never had the erotic pleasure of seeing another man bent over like this.

He abandons Childe’s rim to instead run his finger over the seam of his balls. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You’re very attractive.”

“Thanks.”

He doesn’t seem very convinced, or less tense. The words just tumble out of his mouth as he goes back to what he knows is safe - rubbing and massaging Childe’s rear. “I hoped you were gay when I first saw you.”

Zhongli hadn’t really had a type before university, or if he did, he hadn’t been aware of it yet. He’d hoped that he would find someone, and then in had waltzed the most beautiful man he’d ever seen and introduced himself as Zhongli’s roommate.

It had been infatuation at first glance. Turns out Zhongli’s type was unruly ginger hair and blue eyes as rich and deep as the ocean and a cheeky, blinding grin and…

There’d even been a time he thought that there was something developing between them, only to have that hope scuppered that one time he’d gotten drunk and rejected.

“Really?” Childe asks, voice clear now, and evidently surprised at this very old and common knowledge.

“Mhm. Or anything that let me have a chance with you.” Zhongli says, utterly entranced by a drop of precome that decorates Childe’s dick. He grows a little more bold and lets his thumbs shift closer to the appetising groove between the cheeks. Beneath his hands, he can feel Childe relax, but it’s not enough - he doesn’t just want Childe limber limbed, but eager. He wants to make him beg Zhongli to put it in.

So he grows more confident every time his palms just slightly dig into fat instead of muscle. The smeared lube gives Childe’s skin a sheen that allows his hands to glide effortlessly.

“The first time you walked around half naked I thought I was going to combust,” He tells him. The day is still clear in his mind, definitely partly because then Zhongli hasn’t realised he was capable of producing so much saliva. He leans forward to gently press his lips against the bump of bone at the base of Childe’s spine before he continues. “I wanted you so badly.”

Childe’s thighs are quivering as Zhongli lets his hands inch closer to what he really wants to touch, and then Childe lets out a keen. “Zhongli…” he complains, so needily that Zhongli has no choice but to press a finger against his slit and then trace a line up his cock to where his balls hang.

Come on, he thinks. Beg me for it.

But Childe doesn’t, even though he does let out an array of erotic noises. So Zhongli goes back to massaging him, admiring the way the flesh moves under his ministrations, the way it causes his hole to stretch. He drags his hands down to his inner thighs, and on the upmotion reaches out just so a finger or two can barely touch over his balls or cock, which twitches lewdly every time. Even though he can’t help the urge to lick every glint of sweat or dribble of precome, he thinks he could do this for hours.

So he doesn’t mind how long it takes Childe to finally give in.

“Please,” he whines petulantly, ass squirming on the bed. “Please, Zhongli.”

“Oh? What do you want?” Zhongli asks, feeling his mouth curve up.

“Please finger me. Please, I’m relaxed now-“

“Anything for you,” Zhongli breathes out, immediately reaching for the lube that’s by his foot. He applies a very generous helping to his hand and reaches down to Childe’s rim, rubbing over the ring of muscles before finally pushing in.

Childe’s hole flexes around the first joint of his fingers, tight and hot. Childe lets out a cry, thighs tensing up at the intrusion, and Zhongli just stares.

He’s actually inside Childe, finally.

“Is it okay?” He asks, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight of his first knuckle being slowly swallowed by Childe’s body.

“Yeah,” Childe says. His voice is slightly strained.

“Good. Can I continue?”

“Yes,” Childe gasps out, sounding so deliciously needy. Zhongli indulges them both, gently sliding his finger forward through that slick heat until it’s fully sheathed, the knuckles of his other fingers are pressing into Childe’s skin.

“Ahh…” Childe keens, a sound that should be illegal for how much it makes Zhongli’s blood boil with want.

“You look so good. I’m going to take such good care of you,” he swears, like fingering Childe is an oath he’s beholden to.

It feels like one, as Childe moans when Zhongli’s finger pulls out and then pushes back inside where it’s hot and slick. Between his legs, Childe’s cock twitches, and the noise of Childe’s toes shifting against the floor catches Zhongli’s attention.

He looks so unimaginably good like this, spread out like a treat, sweating and shuddering. Even without the sight, the wet noises from every push and pull of his fingers inside Childe is too obscene. Zhongli thanks every deity he’s ever learned the name of that Childe is doing this with him and not anyone else. If it could stay that way…

“Another one,” Childe gasps out, and then lets out half a groan as Zhongli drags his fingers out.

He excitedly lines up two fingers at Childe’s entrance, and lets his mind think of how picture perfect it’ll look when it’s been spread wide and full of come, his come, with Childe’s own smeared across his stomach…

His stomach clenches excitedly at that, and he slides his fingers inside, as carefully as he can.

Childe’s breathing has definitely picked up, now that his hole is being stretched further, and Zhongli waits, letting him adjust. When he thinks he memorised the way Childe’s ass muscles twitch under his skin, he starts moving again, keeping the pace slow and full.

Oh, that makes Childe loud. He’s panting and choking out Zhongli’s name and groaning as Zhongli lets his fingertips drag over every inch of his walls he can reach. Zhongli can’t help but spread his fingers, watching with fascination the way Childe’s rim tries to close around them, and listening with rapt attention to Childe’s fingers scrambling against the bedsheets.

It’s not usual for Zhongli to let his mouth run, but these are extraordinary circumstances.

“So loud. I can’t wait to hear you when I’m inside you.”

“You are inside - ah - me,” Childe points, proving that his need to be a smartarse is never truly gone. Zhongli still. “Wait - don’t stop -“

That makes Zhongli smirk - the begging, not the stupid comment. “I suppose I should have expected nothing less from you,” he murmurs. The fingers inside him stretch even wider, and his other hand shifts to stroke the underside of Childe’s balls, leaving Childe making noises that are delightfully whiny and not annoying strings of words. Childe doesn’t say anything when Zhongli dares to add a third finger, teasing and toying with his rim until it’s loose enough to take a cock.

Eventually, even Zhongli’s patience starts to wane. His own erection throbs every time a brush to Childe’s balls makes his dick twitch or his hole clenches enticingly around the intrusion. As a consolation, he gives it a couple strokes when his hand can afford to be parted from the job of rubbing Childe’s perineum.

Besides - Childe asked him to sleep with him, not just finger him to the brink and back. Zhongli always keeps his promises.

“... Do you think you’re ready?” He asks, tentatively.

“Yes!” Childe snaps impatiently, and when Zhongli takes his fingers out rolls over, propping an elbow out to crane his head at Zhongli.

He’s a vision, cheeks flushed, skin creased where it laid too long on the folds in the sheets, blue eyes darkened with lust. His lips are pink and swollen, and so lovely - Zhongli wants to both look at him and kiss him over and over.

“You can still change your mind, if you want to,” he says instead of something horrifically cliché, climbing back on the bed until he’s hovering over Childe again.

“No way am I backing out now. I still need to know if I’m gay. Besides…” Childe says, grinning as he tugs Zhongli closer with an arm round his shoulders. “You said you’d take care of me.”

Oh, he intends to do so. The phrase alone sends heat dancing along his veins.

“When you say that…” He tries to say, before he decides to just show him how it makes him feel, kissing Childe fiercely.

For a few moments they kiss before Childe’s pushing him up instead of pulling him down. “You can put it in.”

There are two ways this goes in his head - either as soon as he does, it’s too much for Childe, and the homosexuality for the evening is drawn to a close. Or this goes like how he’s always fantasised about and Childe discovers his incredible ability to bottom.

They cancel out enough for Zhongli to regain enough function to shift back. He shifts Childe’s thigh a little wider apart, and then guides his erection to lay on Childe’s abdomen, comparing them next to each other for a little perverse pleasure.

This is how deep he could be in just a couple of moments…

He swallows thickly as he shifts again, rubbing his tip against his rim before finally sliding into that heat.

Childe feels so good. He’s just as good as he hoped, believed, wanted. He’s so tight and wet around him, rim clenching and insides shifting. So soft where they meet, and when Zhongli leans forward, he can feel the press of Childe’s hard cock into his skin. He’s going to go insane - it’s that addictive.

“Childe… Gods, you’re so tight.” He can feel the arm that’s shifting his weight shudder and shake, and he collapses forward onto the whole length of his forearm. He kisses Childe blindly, like he’s a moth drawn to a flame, feeling like he could explode at any moment.

He rests his sweaty forehead against Childe’s. “Is it good? Can I move?” He asks, desperately.

“Yes, move, move,” Childe hisses, and Zhongli can feel the sharp dig on his nails between his shoulder blades and the weight of a shin on top of his lower back.

He didn’t think it could get better. He was wrong. The drag of Childe’s insides against his sensitive shaft and head as he rocks his hips is almost too much to bear. If Childe hadn’t already made him come once, he knows in his gut that this would be a horribly short affair. He kisses constantly, insistently, unable to keep his mouth off Childe for more than a few moments at a time.

One of his hands scrambles to Childe’s hip - whether to ground himself or pull Childe, he isn’t sure because it serves both purposes - and lifts it slightly, enough that makes Childe let out a breathy groan. Their skin is sweaty and in places they stick so tightly Zhongli can barely feel where his body ends and Childe’s begins.

That groan is so hot but - it’s not enough. He needs to know that he’s doing a good job, that this is as good for Childe as it is for him. Childe hasn’t even come tonight yet, he remembers with a jolt - how utterly shameful of him…

“Is it good? Please, Childe…” he begs.

“Yes, Zhongli, please…” Childe whines at him, his voice so utterly unlike what it usually is. It’s a thrilling gift indeed, to know that he can make Childe sound like that. He wants it again, and again, and they grind their hips together in pursuit of both their pleasures. This isn’t a quick fuck, but the way Childe feels wrapped around him makes it hard for him to not lose any sense of decorum or rhythm for their pace.

He doesn’t realise he does it, but on a particularly deep thrust and a matching sloppy kiss he feels Childe let out a whimper, the sound regrettably lost to time as soon as it’s pulled from his lips. At the same time, childe’s thigh where they have wrapped around his hips quiver and clench so hard it almost hurts.

It takes him by enough surprise that he pauses to stare at Childe’s blushing face, mouth agape and lips distractingly shiny with both of their spit.

Childe slaps his back, with a surprising amount of force considering the circumstances. “Don’t stop!” he hisses.

“Was that your…” Zhongli trails off, as he realises how this is probably the worst way to establish if you’ve managed to stimulate someone’s prostate or not.

“Just - keep going!”

Right. He tries to do it again, but it’s hard to remember exactly what he had done when half of his brain isn’t functioning optimally. Or at all, really. It’s a lacklustre reception, so he shifts again, but that still doesn’t manage to draw the same whimper out.

Well.

This isn’t ideal.

He grinds his hips in deep again, and Childe shudders again, his head lolling back to expose the angular jut of his Adam’s apple as he groans. Yes.

He puts all of his effort into keeping that angle just right, and Childe turns into a whimpering mess beneath him, the slapping noise of their skin meeting almost but not quite drowned out by his broken “ah”s and “Zhongli”s.

Gods, he doesn’t know if he can hold out much longer. Childe’s body is beautiful, perfect, his hole made just for his cock. They fit together just right. It’s taking everything to not come right now, and he doesn’t know if he can hold out until Childe’s first. He leans back in, pushing his face next to Childe’s neck, mouth open to taste the salt there and mutter pleas.

“Ah- Zhon-” Childe cries out, arms and legs tugging Zhongli closer despite the quivering of his muscles as Zhongli can feel his cock twitch and wet spread under him.

It’s all he needs to give in himself, sheathing in and letting himself go to the waves of pleasure. The feeling of his own come against the root of his cock where it just starts to leak is the sort of shameful thing he knows would drive him crazy if he didn’t think he was utterly spent for the evening.

They both lie there without moving, just breathing heavily out of sync until finally Zhongli musters to strength to roll over and off Childe. They continue lying there, staring up until Childe is the first to speak.

“Zhongli?” he asks, his voice still just a touch raspy.

Zhongli doesn’t trust himself to speak just yet, so he tries to hum and still manages to mess that up. His throat is dry. “Hm?”

Childe heaves a sigh. “... I’m not straight, am I?”

The time for heterosexuality passed them both a while ago.

Still, even as he’s wondering how orgasming from sex with man would possibly somehow match Childe’s perception of straightness, he opens his mouth. Childe’s always understood concepts better when they’re laid out in more practical terms. “Haha… Would you have sex with me again?”

“Yeah. I would.”

Zhongli rolls so he’s facing Childe, and props himself up to get a better look at him. He looks just as dishevelled as he does when he comes back from volleyball practice or a run, and Zhongli isn’t a liar so he embraces the smidgen of pride he feels at that.

He never had been able to decide whether he thought Childe was more handsome when he was messy, or on the rare occasions Zhongli saw him fully groomed, but now he makes his decision. Childe is the most handsome when he’s happy and sated and so close they could cuddle.

“If I say I’m not sure, can we do this again?” Childe asks, and Zhongli would recognise that mischievous glint in his eye any time.

He’s so happy right now, he can barely believe it. He laughs, and leans down to kiss Childe again - this time soft and sweet.

“Of course Childe,” he says, drawing an arm over Childe to pull him closer. “We can do this as many times as you want.”

Childe laughs in return, bright and loud - the best kind - and lets himself be pulled closer until Zhongli’s resting his head on the gap between Childe’s shoulder and neck. Distantly, Zhongli thinks they should move, get up and clean off, but right now he can’t bring himself to care about things like that when he has the man of his dreams in his arms.

I think he likes me back, Zhongli thinks giddily, thumb tracing a pattern onto the sweat-softened skin over Childe’s ribs.

Hopefully.