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Angel

Summary:

Carmilla doesn't want to live without Laura. As time goes on, she finds a way to make sure she never does. IT MIGHT BE TRIGGERING AND ANGSTY. I AM SORRY. Song fic, Theory of a Deadman- Angel.

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I’m in love with an angel..

Carmilla knew that this was wrong. Laura would get hurt, or she would. It was how the story always ended, and how it always would. Laura would die, and Carmilla would be forced to move on. Carmilla knew that Laura would always love her, and that was the problem. She knew that Laura was the first person who cared for her, and loved her. No matter what. She still loved her after Carmilla had broken her heart, when Carmilla had planned to destroy them. When Carmilla was on her knees, the last thing she expected was for Laura to save her.

Heaven forbid..

But Carmilla knew that the time that she had with Laura would be the best in her life. Laura’s laugh, her smile, her eyes, her scent, would be the best to Carmilla. No matter what. Carmilla hoped, and dreamed, for a way that she could always be with Laura. She wracked her brain, and then, one day, found something. A perfect plan.

Made me a believer..

Carmilla went to Laura. To her bedside. Laura woke, and even though it was late, she smiled. “Hey, Carm.” Carmilla smiled. “Hi, Cupcake. I wanted to ask you something..”

With a touch of her skin..

The next day, when Carmilla left, Laura told Danny, Laf, Perry, And JP what Carmilla had told her. They all nodded, understanding. Danny smiled, and softly said, “But why? I mean, she has so much..” Then Mattie walked in. “Because, Xena, she loves her. And she knows that she won’t get a chance like this ever again.” Danny murmured in agreement.

I’d go to hell and back with you, still lost in what we found.

Worlds apart we were the same, until we hit the ground.

Carmilla stood on the balcony outside her room, looking outside and remembering all of the times that Laura had made her question everything. When Laura made her feel things that she didn’t know she could feel. She remembered how her Brothers, Sisters, and her Mother had teased and tormented her about falling for a human. And sure, it was stupid. But it was worth it. Laura was sweet, smart, beautiful. She would do anything for her.

Maybe I’m crazy, Maybe I’m weak,

Maybe I’m blinded by what I see

You wanted a soldier, But it wasn’t me.

Because I could never set you free.

So fly on your own

It’s time I let you go

Carmilla turned when she heard Laura stepping out onto the balcony. Laura kissed her, and Carmilla smiled into it. Now, Laura was 31, and Carmilla was still looking young. With some help from Perry and Laf, Carmilla wore makeup to make her look older. They were in Germany, and Laura’s Dad had just passed away. Laura leaned into Carmilla’s shoulder, and Carmilla put her arm around the small of Laura’s back. Lafontan and Danny knocked on the door. “Hey, You guys want to get some food? Perry’s cooking, and JP is trying to figure out if he can fix the oven. Kirch is just laughing at his attempts.” Carmilla and Laura looked at each other, and smiled. “Yeah, We’ll be out in a minute.” It was hard to believe that they all had lived, and were still friends. They still were laughing and crying, smiling and frowning. Laf was a scientist, Danny was a Detective, Perry worked with kids and taught cooking, Kirsh was a football coach and mechanic, JP worked in a local library as helper. Laura became a big Reporter, And Carmilla worked in odd jobs. It was crazy, but fun. Everyone loved the life they lived. But sometimes, at night, When Carmilla was out, Or she and Laura had gone to bed, they talked about what Carmilla would do when they all died. “I mean, she’ll realize that their are other fish in the sea, right?” Said Danny, who was married to Kirsh. Perry shook her head. “I don’t think so. Carmilla and Laura are still very much in love. I think she might.” Perry looked over at Laf, who was thinking. “You okay, honey?” JP and Laf had been dating for EVER. Laf responded, “Yeah. Just thinking. I mean, Carm won’t do anything stupid. But when you love someone, you tend to do stupid shit. Carmilla might be older than almost anyone, but she still feels love.” They all nodded in understanding, knowing Laura was trying when she could to talk Carmilla out of it.

I’m in love with an angel

Who's afraid of the light

Her halo is broken,

but there’s fight in her eyes.

Walls are built to keep us safe until they’re crashing down

Worlds apart we were the same,

until you hit the ground. Laura watched Carmilla hold their five month old in her arms, the baby showing no signs of vampirism, which they all were very grateful for. One vampire was enough, a literal baby vampire was going to be hell for Laura, seeing how she was the one to carry the child. Perry was cooking in the kitchen, JP helping when he could. Laf was trying out new concoctions for the upcoming Halloween party in the square. Danny was talking to Mattie about a haunted house, explaining why having actual dead bodies was a bad idea. Laura came downstairs, long dirty blonde hair dancing behind her. She was 41. It might be late for a child, but none of them judged. Better late than never. “Hey, Danny? Have you seen Marcella's bear blanket?” (Laura had chosen Carmilla’s first real name as the child’s name) “Uh…” Looking around for a moment, Danny picked it up. “Here!” and tossed it to Laura. Laura caught it, and hopped back up the stairs. Before she got to the nursery, she heard a soft singing. She couldn’t make out the words. When she got to the door, Carmilla looked up. “Hey, Sweetheart.” “Hey Carm. What were you singing?” “Oh, nothing. I song I heard when we were at Silas. I liked it. Don’t worry, it had nothing to do with the campus.” Laura chuckled. “I figured that. She looks so comfortable.” Carmilla looked at the small bundle of joy and blankets in her arms. “Yeah, I hope so. Ya know, I don’t know why, but even after 450 years, being a parent, having a family of my own, with you as my wife, I’ve never been happier.” Laura blushed a little, and kissed her wife. “I am so happy now. Standing by you..has been the best times of my life.” Carmilla kissed the top of Laura’s head, and handed the baby to her. “I think she wants her other Mama.” Carmilla went downstairs, and started to help Perry with dinner. She knew, that she would never be happier. And she didn’t want to be.

Maybe I’m crazy, Maybe I’m weak

Maybe I’m blinded by what I see.

You wanted a soldier

But it wasn’t me

Because I could never set you free

So fly on your own

It’s time I let you go.

“Goddamnit!”, Carmilla shouted from the living room. Laura walked in, looking around. “What is it hon?” “I dropped the thing of thumb tacks. And I wanted to hang this picture of all of us at Silas next to the one when we were at the hospital when you had Marcella” Laura laughed. At 53, she was amazed at how time flew. Perry had died of cancer about a year ago, JP, Laf and Danny were still alive. Maricella, now 12, ran into the room. “Mama! Maman! Come look! Auntie Danny and Uncle Kirsh were playing frisbee and Cognito LaFontain (Cognito meant family in latin, and LaF liked the sound of it.) Accidentally blew the shed up!” Carmilla’s head dropped to her chest, and Laura threw her arms up. Even though they all had gotten out of college, old habits like blowing things up with chemicals, die hard. Sure enough, LaF walked in covered with soot and grime, they’re short hair a ruffled mess. Danny and Kirsch came in next, both with bits of wood and leaves in there hair. “I added too much explodey stuff…” Said Laf, still in a bit of a daze. Danny turned to them. “Ya think?” Adam, Danny and Kirch’s son, came running down the stairs. “Wow! You guys look like you got hit by a train!” “More like a door hinge.” Said Kirsch, pulling a bit of wood out of his shirt. They all looked at each other, and then thought of what Perry would do. They all started laughing. As she looked around, Carmilla realised that, even if they were idiots, they were her family. And it was the best sorry group of misfits that she had ever seen.

The walls are built to keep us safe until we’re crashing down

Worlds apart we were the same

Until you hit the ground

“Clear!” “Nothing Doctor.” Carmilla outside the hospital room. Laura was the last of the original Silas group to die. Adam had moved away, and Maricella had as well. Carmilla was all that was left. At 93, Laura had died. With tears in her eyes, and desperation in her heart, Carmilla ran to the roof of the hospital. When she got to the top, a song that she had heard a few weeks before she met Laura came to her mind. A song synonymous with the way their relationship was. A song she had sang for their child, and a song that had been played at Laura’s funeral. As she stood on the ledge of the building, she remembered all of the memories and began to cry. As the wind blew her dark hair around her young and pale face, she sang under her breath,

Maybe I’m crazy, Maybe I’m weak

Maybe I’m blinded by what I see

You wanted a soldier

But it wasn’t me

Because I could never set you free

So fly on your own

It’s time I let you go

Carmilla jumped and hit the ground, her body instantly decaying and disappearing. But if anyone in heaven was listening that night, you would have heard a group of souls. Souls who knew each other in life, and even in death. As the final one came to join them, they sang loudly and strongly,

So fly on your own

It’s time I let you go

Carmilla had known the she would never be happy without Laura. And as their lips finally met, she knew that this was where she belonged.

I’m in love with an angel…..