Chapter Text
The chief of police was sitting at their chair, eating their birthday cake. Even with themself being stuffed with 'incidents' they still made room for birthday cake. They were idly relaxing until they heard a knock on the door and a moustached officer ran in, carrying a folder, distressed.
"There is an out of control cab! We need to catch it".
The police chief groaned. "So. Catch it yourself then. You've been here three years you know what to do.
"Chief! An office manager has been found ran over and deceased. An inmate is missing, presumed dead."
The police chief rolled their eyes.
"And the director general, was found dead by the side of the road en route."
The police chief made a deeper, more thoughtful sigh. They had no choice but to deal with this case. Bureaucrats. One was high ranking, Alan, he couldn't be ignored. They had to spend to spend time away from their food and comfy chair in order to investigate more nonsense.
They had, for the first time in their life, gained dark circles under their eyes. Against his will they had to investigate those pesky office workers. Their parents almost forced them into that rat race but, they got into the police force, and became the chief so as never to be pressured to associate in a cold dusty office again. But now they were forced into one.
They left in a carriage to the crime scenes with the moustached officer. At the scene, two officers and to the chiefs surprise, two inquisitors. Oh no the chief thought. The Spanish guys. They'll have to do their job now.
"Russian police. Do you have any idea where the supposed 'Spanish king' is" an Inquisitor demanded.
"Hold your horses, I only just left. It's my birthday and I had to eat my cake before I left. I ask that question to you, my officers." Retaliated the chief of police.
The officers shook their heads.
"The strangest thing is" said the moustached officer " that there is nothing that gives us a possible suspect as to who the driver is."
"I am truly sorry Inquisitors" said the chief of police "for these lazy officers incompetence. Almost bureaucrats they are"
"And that's not all chief" said his moustached subordinate. "The connecting detail is that the cab supposed crashed through the inmates cell wall yet... " the officer paused " it kept going, even when it must have been somewhat damaged in the collision."
"Well Russian policemen" said the other Inquisitor. "To keep international relations between Russia and Spain stable as the Spanish succession is more stable now, we'll be treating him more of a common criminal rather than his puny but somehow persistent successor to the throne he thinks he is. But of course, you know that he's your responsibility now.
"Do you understand this chief of police" said the other inquisitor.
"Yes" replied the chief. They shouted to their men "what are you looking at me for? Go find the cab!"
After the inquisitors and his men left them, they went into a deep thought train as they took out some cake and ate it.
What was going on with all these unexplained incidents? First the nose. They didn't really need to prioritise chasing the bureaucrats' nose until it started causing political riots right out their office and stopped them from eating in peace.
Then came the coat thief. They were extremely distressed and so ordered their subordinate to guard their coat. And the cab incident, well, although they hated to admit it, forced them to care about the office block they almost worked for, as one of THOSE bureaucrats fell victim, causing pandemonium at the office. If this wasn't sorted soon they'd have less food on their plate and more crime.