Chapter Text
The ginger was sitting on his bed with an ice pack to his nose not caring about the old burn he was likely giving himself. he stared blankly at the hardwood flooring of his dorm, The room was pretty cool due to the heater not working in their dorm hall but he didn't bother to grab a sweater out of the closet or something being cold was the least of his worries.
It had only been an hour or two since charlie had punched him and he regretted every bit of it; every moment of that day so far he wished he could take back. telling Nolan what charlie had done and telling him about their secret society had it was all a mistake he wished he could take back. he felt lost without Neil, it felt like he was alone while the rest of the group had each other for comfort which in hindsight it felt like that was always the case in one way or another but it had only worsened with neil's death, he always had felt somewhat alone, despite having the 6 others in the friend group. the only real comfort he really had was rules somehow, falling into them felt the same as getting a warm hug but EVERYTHING was falling apart no matter how much he clung to them, nothing should give him his friends back.
Cameron's eyes shifted towards the door as he heard it open, in walked Charlie with a pensive look on his face and empty luggage in either hand he hadn't bothered to close the door as he walked further into the room, placing his cases onto his bed and opening them
"what are you doing?" Where the only words that managed to creep from Cameron's mouth quietly
Charlie stared down at his bag seemingly avoiding eye contact which wasn't too suprising with how the day had been going
"Packing; I'm expelled like you wanted right?" The Burnette said coldly as he opened his desk drawers
of course Charlie was wrong, he didn't WANT him expelled but Charlie was upset clearly and he couldn't blame him for it, charlie didn't have much academically wise but he still had few possessions that he kept in his desk most notable a few pieces of jewelry (mostly watches) and some notbook he excused as one for studdying but in reality he only doodled in, the ginger stared at him pitifully ; moving the ice pack which revealed the darkening bruise that had started to form on his freckled skin, letting the ice pack sit on the bed "I didn't want you expelled" cameron continued "I tried to help you- I tried to help all of us!"
"You were saving your neck ! Don't give me that crap about helping us all!" Charlie argued as he grabbed his folded clothes from the closet to place in one of the bags "you lied about Keating, who knows what's going to happen to him now and that's on you!" He practically slammed the clothes into the suitcases; messing up how neatly they were folded
"I didn't want Keating gone i—i had no choice!" Cameron stood up;Voice wavering slightly not only from the pain from his face.
"it was either us or him and I didnt want to lose you guys! What-what else was I suppose to do charlie?!" He felt bad, he couldn't undo any of what he'd done no matter how much he wanted to just to make charlie stay, to make sure he hadn't lost anyone else but neil; he just couldnt he knew he lost everything with his decisions
"I did what I thought was right."
Charlie looked up from his clothes and at cameron, eyes filled with hurt and anger as well as a few tears which suprised cameron "yeah, well you thought wrong" he shook his head, closing one of the suitcases that was now filled; he felt bad, of course he did! But he was angry at the same time He never wanted any of it to end up how it did but cameron ratted on them! "I'm sorry charlie, shouldn't that count for somthing?!" Cameron pleaded
"sorry isn't going to fix any of this cameron! Sorry won't get Keating back, sorry won't fix me getting expelled, it's worthless! It's all over now. The society. Keating. 𝘶𝘴. Its all done now because of you"
each word felt like a stab to the gut that was deeper and deeper and twisting inside of him, his already watery eyes overflowed and tears gently rolled down his face
"its like I'm constantly talking to a wall with you you! never even try to understand my point of view"
"it should've been you" charlie said blankly. cameron didn't know how to react to the statement, he was unsure what he meant by the words. one thought lingered in the back of his mind that he silently hoped wasn't true; that it should've been him that died.
a almost suffocating Silence lingered between the two boys as charlie continued to pack up his belongings, mostly because cameron had no idea what to say with charlies last comment. only the gentle noise of a branch brushing against the outside of their window could be heard as well as the gentle murmurs from the other rooms since their door was left wide open by charlie.
All cameron could do was watch his ex-friend pack as guilt filled his heart, it was his fault charlie was gone no matter how far he wanted it to go it had went too far and it was out of his hands now, he was morally in the right sure but at the cost of charlie's education
Charlie walked around the room, gathering his stuff silently,he glanced back at Cameron but immediately looked back at his half hazard folded clothes in his open bag, it didn't have too much space and keeping a few of his sweaters there wouldn't do any harm, he didn't need them anyways; he had plenty of clothes back home it wasn't worth it to try and stuff the extras in his bag and stay there with cameron longer,he finally knelt down to retrieve his saxophone from under the bed and with a small sigh he stood up slinging the saxophone case over one shoulder so he could take everything out in just one trip; he closed the second bag then picked them both up by their handles
"im sorry charlie" cameron tried once more as charlie reached the open door, charlie looked back at Cameron
"I know." He said with monotone voice before walking out; closing the door behind him
the room suddenly felt colder without the others presence
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