Archive of Our Own

Asriel Dreemurr tapped his foot impatiently. Normally he'd pass the time with music while he fantasized about stories or games he could try to work on later. Unfortunately, his headphones died on him five minutes before the final bus ride ended. He assumed it would be fine since his mother, Toriel Belivy, would be at the bus station half an hour to an hour before he even arrived. 

But after twenty minutes, it seemed obvious that wasn't happening. 'It's weird that she isn't here.' He frowned, 'I don't think she's ever been late for anything since I've known her except for-'  

Asriel shook himself free of the darkness. He readjusted the straps of his duffle bag and began to march towards Hometown. He guessed that Toriel was busy making a 'Welcome Home' pie or something. He smiled at the thought. 'Hopefully Kris is helping her. They're great at baking.' He giggled as the next thought came unbidden, 'At least when they aren't eating the batter or filling while they make it!'  

Asriel was happy to come home, finally. It'd been too long since he had heard from anyone here. He almost forgot why he left and nearly cut all contact in the first place. 

In the distance Asriel could see the rising shapes of buildings. The sight spurred him along, eager to get home and rest in a bed. The trip may have only been less than twenty-four hours, yet it still drained him. He smiled as he remembered when his father, Asgore Dreemurr, would take him and Kris driving through the town in his patrol car to help put the two children to sleep. 'I guess it stuck with me.'  

Asriel finally made it to the entrance of Hometown and it was exactly how he left it. On the left was the police station where Napstablook and Undyne should work. Next to that was the hospital, though he didn't really have any reason to go there. He didn't know much about it, to be entirely honest. He didn't have anyone to visit, and neither he nor Kris had to go there at any point in their childhood since Toriel knew some healing magic. 

In the distance on the right he spotted the top of the church piercing the tree line. Asriel smiled and vowed to go visit Father Alvin once he was well rested. 

Asriel smiled at the Librarby. 'Guess they're never gonna fix that sign,' he chuckled. 'I wonder if they still have those ancient computers?' He blinked and groaned as the realization dawned on him, 'Crap, I don't think I ever returned that book!' He rubbed his eyes in frustration. He really hoped Toriel didn't find that book. Kris finding it he could live with, but not their mom. He followed the road north and smiled as he returned to more fond sights. 

QC's Diner was always a sight for sore eyes. With all of the modernism and hustle and bustle in the city where his university was located, it was easy to forget that there are still places like this in the world. Small places that promote people hanging out and having fun. Good food at a cheap price, oh how he missed it. His smile dimmed as he remembered the last time he was there with Kris. 

The hot chocolate tasted more bitter to him than usual that day, though he always believed it was the fact that he had to be the one to break the news of their parents' divorce to Kris. 'At least the place was empty that day.'  

Asriel didn't like that that was the last memory of QC's he had. He especially didn't like that it was one of the last ones he had with Kris. He shook his head before the memories of the last time he saw Kris could replay through his mind. 'Don't worry, Kris, we'll have a better time at QC's while I'm here.'  

As he passed the diner he paused, "What? Grillby's shut down?" He released a disappointed groan. He always wondered why adults went there as a kid. Now he knew it was a bar, and as he was of age now he was looking forward to entering himself. 

A short, stout skeleton wearing a blue puffy hoodie walked out and Asriel approached him. "Excuse me," the skeleton turned and looked at him with disinterested eyes and an amused smile, "what happened to Grillby?" 

The skeleton shrugged, "not sure, heard he got burned out and decided to retire." The skeleton winked at the pun. 

Asriel suppressed a groan and hoped that Toriel hadn't met this guy yet. "Well, do you know who owns it now?" 

The skeleton nodded towards the sign on the building where all the letters that formerly spelled Grillby's name were burnt away. The only one left was the 'S' that was followed by an 'ans' written with a cheap yellow paint. "probably whoever 'sans' is." 

"Do you know who Sans is?" Asriel asked. 

The skeleton shook his head and Asriel frowned. "you gotta make sure my name is uncapitalized, kid." 

Asriel blinked. "I beg your pardon?" 

"it's 'sans', not 'Sans'," sans explained. 

Asriel raised an eyebrow, "How can you tell the difference? And why does it matter?" 

"don't worry about it, kid, just something you should know." sans yawned, "oh well, looks like it's the end of my shift. gonna go home now and rest." sans walked into the woods after that. 

Asriel blinked and shook his head in confusion. 'Did I just meet a homeless guy!?' He eventually shrugged and decided he was too tired for the nonsensical skeleton. 

Asriel walked north once again and winced as Catty's house came into view. He could see Dad Cat at the grill, which amazed the young man. 'How and why is he up grilling at nine in the morning!?'  

As Asriel approached Dad Cat's ears twitched. He turned around and squinted. As Asriel got closer the older cat's features grew into recognition. "Douglas!" Dad Cat called out jovially with a bright smile, "How are ya, young man?" 

Asriel smiled placatingly, "I'm good, just got back to Hometown." 

"Ah! Good." Dad Cat pointed his spatula at Asriel's right arm, "Good to see you were lucky out there. IEDs ain't no joke." 

Asriel nodded. He forgot that Dad Cat thought he was enlisted and named Douglas, and his outfit really didn't make any effort to disprove that theory. He wore an old green army jacket he found at a thrift store that he thought looked cool, a black t-shirt, worn jeans that he'd had since his growth spurt back in middle school, and a pair of older army boots. "Y-yeah, I uh," he cleared his dry throat, "I'm real lucky. Didn't get much combat." It wasn't a lie, and he wasn't going to pretend he was a veteran. It was just impossible to convince Dad Cat otherwise. He had tried it before. 

"Hey, you should come by tonight!" Dad Cat suggested. "My wife is making some kibbly mac and cheese, Catty's favourite!" The little appetite Asriel had was gone already. Before he could say anything, Dad Cat continued, "Y'know, you could called Catty some. She was pretty sad when you left without so much as a kiss goodbye, Doug." 

"I, uh, sorry." Asriel started to side step towards the road leading to his mother's house, "I wish I could talk more, but I gotta go let mom know I'm here, you know how she is." 

"Yeah, Toriel, always so sweet on you kids," Dad Cat smiled warmly. "If you ever need a place away from her smothering the cat flap's always open!" Asriel waved goodbye and swiftly walked away. He sighed in relief when he saw Dad Cat go back to grilling the catfood. 

Asriel turned and grunted as he knocked into something. "Oof!" He looked down and furrowed his brows, "Huh?" 

It was a familiar reindeer monster with blonde hair, freckles, a shiny red nose, and prominent buck teeth. The antlers were new, though. She stood up quickly and hastily gathered her things, "Sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going!" 

Asriel smiled sadly as he knelt down and helped her pick up. "It's okay, Noelle, you always had a lot on your mind." Noelle went rigid. Her grip on her books was tight. Asriel frowned and worried he had done something wrong. "Noelle-" 

Noelle dropped the books and tackled him with a hug. Her antlers stabbed him in the chest and knocked the wind out of him as he landed on his butt with another "oof!" 

"Azzy!" Noelle cheered, "I forgot you were supposed to be here today!" She released him from the hug and blushed. "O-oh, sorry! I just got carried away," she stood up and grabbed her belongings, "It's just been so long since I've heard or seen you! How have you been?" 

Asriel stood and chuckled as he dusted himself off, "Heh, yeah, I've been pretty busy. How have you been? How is uncle Rudy and aunt Vix?" 

Noelle opened her mouth with a smile at first before it soured and she shrunk in on herself. "...it could be going better." 

Asriel winced, "Ah, yeah, I guess every marriage has a rough patch." He patted her shoulder, "Don't worry about it, though! You've still got friends to talk to about it with! Like Kris, or me!" 

"...right." Noelle shrugged Asriel's hand off and walked away as she mumbled, "...see you later, Azzy…" 

Asriel watched her leave with a frown. He turned towards the Holidays' mansion in the distance. It wasn't as cheerful as it used to be. There weren't even any Halloween styled Christmas decorations anywhere. 'It's worse than I thought.' He shook his head. Maybe he could try to help Rudy and Vixen sort their marriage out while he was visiting? It was worth a shot, at least. 

Asriel readjusted the straps on his duffle bag and trudged on back to his childhood home with a growing smile. It vanished when he saw his mother's car, however. His face screwed into anger before he whipped around searching for any clues or evidence as to who would slash all four tires of her car. "The hell!?" It made his blood boil. 'She's a teacher, for Angel's sake! Why would anyone do that!?' He took several steadying breaths before approaching the front door. 'I'll help replace the tires after I say hi. Maybe I can get dad to help, too? He might have extra tires.'  

Asriel knocked on the door and waited. He heard heavy footsteps approaching from behind the door and he found his heart racing in excitement. His smile grew from a forced one to a genuine one as he heard the door unlock and the doorknob turn. "I'm ho-" he cut himself off and froze. 

There was a purple dragon or lizard monster standing at the door. She was wearing a plain white t-shirt with miscellaneous stains, some mismatched socks with a few holes in them, and jeans that looked even older and more worn than Asriel's. Her hair was black like Dess's, and her eyes were an intimidating yellow. Speaking of intimidating, she was tall . Asriel was used to dwarfing most monsters, but the dragon was nearly as tall as him. "Uhhhhhhhhh," she sounded just as confused as he felt. 'I guess she isn't used to being shorter than someone else, either.'  

"Uhm, hey, is Toriel here?" Asriel asked with an awkward smile. 

"Uh, yeah," the girl moved and opened the door for him, "she's in the kitchen making breakfast." 

Asriel smiled more genuinely, "Perfect! I'll go say hi." He stopped after taking a few steps and looked at the girl warily, "What did you say your name was?" 

The girl fixed him with just as suspicious of a look as she crossed her muscular arms. "...I didn't. I'm Susie, Kris's friend." 

Asriel beamed, "Really? That's great! I'm Asriel, and I will be speaking to you in a minute! First I gotta go see my mom and sibling." Susie nodded noncommittally which knocked her bangs over her eyes. Asriel was surprised that it made her even more scary looking. He shrugged, and waved a hasty farewell. 

Asriel smelled the wonderful smells of sweet cinnamon butterscotch pie baking in an oven mixed with the salty, savory scents of eggs and bacon and sausage. He missed his family's cooking while he was away at college. He walked as quietly as he could and snuck up behind his mother. The sizzling meats in the pan must have masked his footsteps because he was never unable to sneak up on his mom before. 

Asriel covered her eyes from behind, "Guess who!" 

Toriel went still for a second before she shoved his hands away and spun around to wrap him in a bone-crushing hug. She even managed to lift him off the ground a couple inches. "Asriel, my son!" She cheered so loudly it seemed to ring throughout the house. She placed him on the ground before releasing the hug and looking him up and down with a gleeful smile. "Oh, you look so well-" she paused before leaning close to his face and studying it crossly, "-hold on, what's this?" She poked under his eye where his eyes had grown bags. She grazed her fingertip past many uneven and slightly scruffy looking patches of fur. "Have you had troubles, my dear?" 

Asriel chuckled with a dismissive wave, "Nah, just had a lot of finals to study for last week and pulled a few all nighters. I also had some trouble with sleep on the buses. They were super uncomfortable." 

"Oh dear, I'm sorry," Toriel cupped his face and grazed his cheeks with her thumbs. "I would have picked you up, but-" 

Asriel removed her hands from his face and tried to keep his tone and face neutral while he spoke, "Yeah, I saw your car." He lowered his voice to just above a whisper, "Who did that? Do you know why?" 

Asriel's heart dropped as his mother sighed shakily and shook her head. "I am afraid neither I nor Chief Undyne have any idea as to who may have done this or why." 

Asriel's brows furrowed. He took a deep breath just as his mother opened her mouth to say something. He exhaled more calmly, which elicited a proud smile from Toriel as she closed her mouth. "Alright, well, I'll go see dad later to get some spare tires if he has some and get him to help put them on." 

"Oh you really needn't trouble yourself, my child," Toriel laughed with a shake of her head. She turned back to the stove and tended to the food. "I'm finishing up breakfast now, dear. Why don't you greet Kris and Susie while I get the table ready?" 

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather want my help with that, mom?" 

Toriel shook her head gently, "No, you should go see your sibling. They've missed you dearly, you know." 

Asriel nodded as he sagged ever-so-slightly. "Yeah, yeah you're right." He turned around and went up towards his childhood bedroom. He hoped Kris didn't miss him the entire time. It was painful enough to remember the day he left for college. 

As he turned the corner he caught a glimpse of Kris entering the bathroom and slamming the door shut. It happened too fast for him to be able to get a good look at them. 'They always let everyone else use the bathroom first. I don't know how that door hasn't fallen off its hinges yet.' Asriel shrugged and walked up the stairs to the bedroom. It had been forever since he went up here, and he was wondering if there were a few of his old things left. Hopefully Kris would have taken some of his stuff and used it. They wouldn't have thrown any of it away, which he'd be happy about. Kris had to have enjoyed the extra space from having his old bed removed! And that computer had some decent games on it, and also some terrible ones he had made. 'Can't wait to show Kris some of the games I've made! Especially the co-op ones!'  

Asriel opened the door expecting to see a room he didn't recognize. Instead, it felt like he walked into a photo of his past. The room was just as he had left it. His bed sheets were still slightly ruffled from where his suitcase was while he packed. His trophies were lining the shelves above the bed, and his desk and computer sat untouched with dusty keys. It was oddly heartwarming. He smiled. 

"'s kinda creepy when you stand there smiling like that." Asriel jumped and snapped to Susie who was sitting on Kris's bed. 

"Sorry!" Asriel rubbed the back of his neck, "I just… didn't expect it to be the same as it was a few years ago!" 

Susie grunted bitterly. "...why would ya take any of the golden boy's stuff outta his room?" She crossed her arms at his look of confusion, "Even I have heard of you and I only moved here a little over a month ago." 

Asriel frowned. Toriel always taught him to never judge a book by its cover, but he learned in the city that some books are judged by their covers for a reason. He narrowed his eyes skeptically, "Right, and what are you actually saying here? No need to dance around the bush, right?" 

"You abandoned Kris. Left them to deal with the divorce, to deal with living in your shadow, to deal with Noelle's sister," Susie listed off on her fingers curtly. Asriel stopped scowling and was just shocked. He expected more bush beating, if he were honest. He slouched a little feeling like he was being told off by his mom. "You left Kris alone to be the only human in town, you left them without anyone to connect to, and I think the worst thing of all is the only thing you did for them which was leaving behind a musty old sweater! They got bullied for that thing, dude." 

That made his blood boil more than the slashed tires. "What!? Who was bullying them?" 

Susie didn't even hesitate. "Me! And you know what? I feel shitty about it still, but it does say something doesn't it?" She stood up and jabbed one clawed finger into his chest. It was hard, and he was worried that she may stab him with her finger alone. "It says something when their fucking shitty bully did more for them in a few months than you have in years ." 

"I… I never abandoned them," Asriel denied after a moment. He gently pushed Susie's hand away and held his hands up defensively. "I just… grew up. I had to leave, but I promised them I was coming back! And I did!" 

Susie growled . Her eyes practically glowed beneath her dark bangs as she bared her teeth at him. They were sharp, and Asriel didn't doubt she could tear his throat out with them. "All those years and you never visited. You never called. Not Kris, not Noelle, and you only called your mom to ask for a fucking ride." She charged through him, bashing into his shoulder which bumped him into the wall loudly. "You should be grateful you have a family that actually gives a shit about you, cause not everyone's that lucky," she said over her shoulder as she shoved her hands in her pockets and stomped downstairs. 

Asriel was left stunned. 'I… I'm sorry.' He knew he should've kept in touch. He didn't want to, though. He wanted freedom from the divorce that he always felt responsible for. He wanted to break free from the chains of his mother's expectations. He wanted to leave the shadow of his sibling behind, and he felt disgusted by that. Kris always looked up to him, and he just abandoned them. 

Asriel swallowed the lump in his throat down the best he could as he looked around the room. There were no trophies on Kris's side. No photos, no keepsakes, no computer, nothing. There was only the red wagon Kris got on their first Christmas with the Dreemurrs and an old battered birdcage they got on their fifth birthday for a pet bird they never received. Asriel felt old. Old and very guilty as he looked at his things and realized that lots of the things he had taken with him and still used day to day were things Kris gave him. 'How many of them were things they'd been given? How many of them did they actually want to give to me? How many of them did they want but gave to me because I could get more use out of them?'  

Asriel wanted to cry, but he had no tears. He had cried all his tears years ago. So instead he stood there in the doorway for a while wallowing in the mistakes he made. 

Asriel was snapped from his thoughts when he heard the bathroom door open quietly and shut moments later. He turned around and entered the bathroom without looking up from the ground. He shut the door and gripped the sink before studying his face. He hadn't shaved in a while, and the last time he had it was after the post finals party. He had done a quick shave after realizing he was running late for the first bus ride, and it looked worse than his hungover brain had thought it looked. Asriel reached into his duffle bag and dug around for his shaver. 

Ten minutes later and he looked better. He at least didn't look like a skeleton that lived in the woods might had that skeleton had skin. He frowned at the young man in the mirror. He wasn't exactly lying to Toriel when he said that he was pulling all-nighters for finals and that was why he looked so tired. He had done that, and his grades were stellar. He actually was supposed to graduate by spring. He lied about when he'd be able to come visit. He spent the week after finals partying and trying to forget about the bad memories he would have to confront in Hometown. Surprisingly, he was successful.

But Asriel remembered why he didn't want to come back, now. Susie had just reminded him of everything he despised about this town. He missed Dess. She knew exactly how it felt to be a golden child that everyone's eyes were on. She knew the stress that came with being the older sibling to someone that wanted to be just like you. 

He squeezed his eyes shut and heaved a heavy sigh. Asriel turned on the sink, washing his trimmed hairs down the drain. In the mirror he practiced his happy-go-lucky face he had when he was a child. 'Before Dess…' he sighed in defeat. 'I shouldn't lie about being tired, at least. That's the most inconsequential thing that's wrong.'  

Asriel stepped out of the bathroom and froze. Susie was staring at him. Her bangs were out of her face, so she could clearly see she was keeping her face neutral. She was sitting on the couch next to a figure with brown hair and a green and yellow sweater who had their back to him. They were signing aggressively, something Asriel had never seen them do before. They stopped signing and turned around not long after Susie began staring at him. 

Kris was older, Asriel realized dumbly. They hadn't grown into the sweater fully, so it looked pretty baggy still. Their face was thinner, and most of the baby fat had vanished. He couldn't see their eyes due to the mop of brown hair on their head, so he couldn't get a total read of their reaction to seeing him again after so long. The one thing he could see was their mouth. It didn't betray any emotion. It wasn't happy, it wasn't sad, it wasn't surprised, it wasn't angry. It was just blank. A neutral expression if ever there was one. 

Asriel realized that he should probably say something. He gave an awkward wave, "Howdy Kris! Good to see ya, it's been a while, huh?" 

Susie scoffed and looked peeved. Kris remained neutral. They gave him a nod, which made him falter even more. 'They used to be so talkative they'd wear their voice out… now they can't even say hi?' He slumped with a sad smile, "Uh, well, I'll be grabbing breakfast, now." He entered the kitchen, leaving his sibling and their bully/friend behind. He found his mother behind the table plating a final plate of bacon and fluffy scrambled eggs. "I know Kris was quiet around other people, but I thought I'd get at least a verbal 'hi' and a wave!" he laughed to downplay how much it hurt.

Toriel sighed sadly as she sagged, "Ah yes… I forgot that you wouldn't know." 

Asriel tensed, "What wouldn't I know?" 

Toriel gestured for him to get closer. When he had, she whispered, "Kris had to have surgery on their throat. It hurts them to speak, now." 

"What!?" Asriel whisper screamed. "When did that happen? Did you call me? What happened?" 

"I did call, but it happened a couple months after you left so I thought you didn't need the stress," Toriel explained quietly. "I never left a message. And as for what happened, Kris said they fell from a tree and landed into a log which…" she trailed off. 

"...what actually happened, mom?" Asriel asked with a hard voice. 

Toriel shrugged weakly. "I do not know, my child. They have never told me otherwise." 

"Uh, hey, so me and Kris-" Susie started from the kitchen threshold before Toriel tutted. 

"Now, now, Susie dear, I do believe it is supposed to be 'Kris and I ', yes?" 

Susie grinned nervously and scratched the back of her head. She answered with a nod, "Y-yeah, sorry. Kris and I are wanting to go out and meet with Noelle and Berdley at the library after breakfast to work on our projects." 

Toriel giggled, "Is this your way of politely telling me to hurry up, Susie?" 

To Asriel's surprise, Kris's head popped out from the side of the doorframe and nodded. He smiled in amusement at his younger sibling's antics. Kris was horizontal instead of vertical, which Asriel knew couldn't be comfortable. Except they began to rise while maintaining their sideways pose. Asriel blinked in astonishment as Kris rose to above their height and kept rising. 

"Susie, I would appreciate it if you would please be careful and not drop Kris," Toriel laughed, "They have been quite reckless here lately." 

"Yeah, I get what you mean, like-" Susie began to babble except before she could really get into anything going on with Kris the human's arms shot out and clung to the doorframe and Susie started to struggle with her hidden arm. She went out of sight with Kris followed by a loud crash. 

"Go on and take these out to them, please," Toriel handed Asriel two plates. One had a small portion of eggs and lots of bacon and sausage, the other had one slice of bacon with a mountain of cheesy scrambled eggs. 

Asriel nodded, "Sure! I'll make sure they don't get into too much trouble, too!" Toriel smiled gratefully as he entered the living room. 

Susie cackled and Kris looked pleased with themselves. They were sitting on the couch again signing something about cards and darkness? Asriel mentally noted that he needed to brush up on his sign language later. "Hey guys! Here's the food." He held the plate of meat to Kris and the plate of eggs to Susie, "Didn't expect you to still eat so much meat, Kris!" 

Susie took both plates and handed the one with more eggs to Kris. The human made their way to the TV where they sat on the floor next to before eating quietly. Asriel glanced over at the dragoness with confusion. "Kris can't eat a lot of crunchy stuff anymore without chewing it for a while. Hurts 'em if they swallow it without a ton of chews." 

Asriel stared at Kris eating slowly as the Power Rangers played on the TV. He remembered as kids they'd always watch Blue's Clues during and after breakfast. The two of them had lots of fun making up their own adventures to go on with Blue. 

A soft kick to Asriel's shin pulled him from his reverie. He looked at Susie, who nodded at something behind him. He turned and found a plate of food offered by his mother. He took the plate with a 'thank you' before sitting down next to Susie. He went to give thanks to the Angel, but he hesitated when he saw his plate. It was a healthy portion of eggs and two sausage links accompanied by a slice of golden browned toast with a layer of strawberry jam on it. In the middle was a small white card with words. 

Welcome Home!  

~~~ 

"Bye, Ms. Toriel!" Susie waved gleefully before taking Kris by the hand and running down the road. 

Toriel smiled devilishly. "Tell me, Asriel, do you think she might be sweet on Kris?" She looked at her son with a troublemaker's gaze, "I think she really could be, and I think Kris could be sweet on her as well! They just became friends a couple of days ago and they are already having sleepovers and staying after school late and actually taking initiative with their school work! 

Asriel tilted his head from the sink where he was doing the dishes, "Huh? Hold on, can you wait until I'm done washing these? I can't quite hear you!" 

Toriel entered the kitchen, "Oh, nevermind it dear." She shooed him out of the kitchen, "Go on, my child, I'm sure you wish to greet old friends rather than help an old woman with her house chores!" 

Asriel laughed, "Oh come on! You know that's not true!" His eyes drifted out the window where he could see the top of his mother's red van. "Though, I do need to go say hi to dad and see if he can help get some tires for ya." 

"That's very sweet of you, Asriel, thank you," Toriel said with a dimmed tone. 

Asriel raised an eyebrow. "Hey," he started as he leaned against the kitchen doorway, "is everything okay between you two?" 

Toriel sighed tiredly. Her washing of dishes slowed and she took her time to clean them. Sometimes cleaning the plates and utensils five times over. Eventually she turned off the sink and looked at her son who affixed her with an expectant look. Toriel sighed in defeat, "Your father is a… persistent man." 

"Is he bothering you?" Asriel asked in shock. He knew his father loved his mother, and he knew that wouldn't change. But he never thought of his father as the harassing type. 

Toriel shook her head and sighed in exasperation, "No, your father is just annoying and can't take a hint to save his life." She nodded towards the trashcan, "Take a look." 

Asriel opened the lid and looked in. There was a bundle of wilting flowers at the bottom, an aged bunch of flowers scattered throughout, and a bundle of fresh flowers at the top. "Ah," Asriel winced, "I, uh, can see what you mean now." 

"When you do visit him, please try to convince him to cease the deliveries. They are a chore to deal with," Toriel grumbled. 

Asriel nodded, "Sure, I'll get him to stop." He picked up his duffle bag from where he left it: by his seat at the couch. "Hey, where should I put my bag?" Asriel called to his mother in the kitchen. 

"In your bedroom, of course! I'll wash the sheets today, so any clothes you wish washed should be placed atop the bed!" 

Asriel nodded, "Thanks!" He climbed the stairs and entered the bedroom and was hit with just as much heartbreak as when Susie had told him off. 

Asriel used to be proud of the trophies. He used to find the pictures brought fond memories. Now they were just reminders of what Susie had told him. He was a great artist, and won several awards for it. Kris's drawings never ended up on the fridge. He received trophies for the Magic & Science Fair, while Kris always wanted to do magic. They waited so long for their horns to grow in. 'I wonder what happened to that headband I got them?'  

Asriel looked towards the drawers by his sibling's bed. '...okay, maybe just a peek…' He tossed his bag down at the foot of his bed and approached the drawers. He opened the bottom drawer first. 'It's just… clothes? Some pants and one of my sweaters?' He hummed in disappointment. Asriel moved on to the top drawer and opened it. 'Some socks and underwear…' He scratched his head before closing the drawers with his foot. 'Why is there so much empty space? Are they using my drawers, maybe?' A quick search of his old dresser proved that to be unlikely. 'Everything is just as you left it…' Asriel glanced over at Kris's side of the room. '...except it isn't.'  

Asriel was bummed that he couldn't snoop on his sibling, but he was more worried about them than anything else. 'I need to talk to them, but I'll need to go to the library for that and I'd rather not have to tell them that I don't remember sign language.' He wondered for a brief moment if Susie may be willing to help. Then a flash of brilliance struck him. Asriel dropped to the floor and dug around for it. "Ah ha!" He pulled out the drawing guide he had checked out a decade ago. 'I guess Susie is helping me in a way.' He tucked the book beneath the back of his jeans' belt loop. 'Looks like the prodigal son returns in more ways than one today.'  

~~~ 

When Asgore Dreemurr had said he was going to open a flower shop some day, Asriel had told him that was a terrible idea. He had told him something along the lines of "You aren't a good salesman". 

But looking at it now? Actually seeing it in person? It was nice. A small two-story building with a quaint storefront and soft and warm colour palette. Asriel recognized his father's blue pickup truck parked on the side in the gravel that tapered off towards the town's beach at the lake. 

Asriel entered the store and was pleasantly surprised by both the aroma and the setting. It was small, but Asgore seemed to make up for that by ensuring that there were large openings for anyone to walk through. Asriel smirked as he realized that probably wasn't intentional, and going by the bag of open soil that had fallen and spilled near the entrance he bumped up from a probably to a definitely. 'Dad always was clumsy with everything when he was off duty.'  

A bell had rung above him, and again he was pleased that it was a traditional bell that was rung with a string attached to the door. From up the stairs he heard a deep, warm and smooth voice shout, "Just a moment!" Asriel walked over to the counter where a yellow flower sat in a white vase next to the cash register. It was a Golden Flower, his favourite. 

"Son…?" Asriel looked up and was surprised once again, though not as pleasantly. Asgore Dreemurr marched over and squeezed his son with a soul crushing hug. Asriel felt like he was being throttled as he was shaken around rigorously. "Oh, Asriel, my boy, it is so good to see you at last!" 

"Y-yep!" Asriel tapped his dad twice on the shoulder, "Can't breath!" 

Asgore paused, then chuckled as he put his son down gently, "Oh ho! My apologies, son, it is just so good to see you!" 

Asriel smiled and nodded, "Likewise." He looked his father up and down as the older monster did the same to him. Asgore's hair was longer than he remembered it being. His beard, too. And he never wore a pink Hawaiian shirt while Asriel lived in Hometown. Something that sent a wave of disgust through him was the pair of purple jorts his father wore with a pair of sandals. Asgore wasn't as in good shape as he used to be. He had a larger belly, and his body in general seemed less fit. 'I suppose that'll happen if you quit training with the world's most extreme cop,' he smiled. He noticed that Asgore's face was older, even older than Toriel's. There were a few blond hairs becoming white, too. "You look…" Asriel thought about his father's appearance overall, "...not bad," he settled with. 

Asgore bellowed with laughter. He clapped Asriel's shoulder, "Oh ho ho! And you look excellent!" His laughter died down but the pure joy remained, "So, when did you get back?" 

"This morning around sevenish." Asgore opened his mouth to question him but he waved and answered, "I would've been here sooner, but I had to walk." 

"Tori could not pick you up?" Asgore looked worried, and Asriel didn't blame him. 'Dad always had good instincts.'  

He shook his head, "No. Some asshole slashed all of her tires, so I have a favour to ask in regards to that." 

"I can gather a few tires by this afternoon," Asgore smiled. He rubbed his beard thoughtfully, "I wonder what flowers I should pair with them? Perhaps-" 

"That's another thing, dad," Asriel knew he had to at least try, "You're over doing it." Asgore hummed inquisitively. "Listen, if there's one thing I learned while at college, it's that you can't make anyone fall in love with you, and that flowers are often not the best gifts to partners that are angry." 

"Really?" Asgore hummed. "She used to love flowers." 

Asriel smiled sadly, "Yeah, no. She liked you giving her something, but you gave her flowers all the time. It was a hassle, remember?" 

Asgore smiled fondly, "Ah yes, I remember. She even asked me to pick between her or the flowers at one point!" He laughed heartily. Asriel found himself chuckling as well. "So, what brings you here? Just coming to say 'howdy'?" 

Asriel's smile faltered. "Uh, not exactly. I did drop by to say hi, but I also was wanting to ask you a few things." Asgore nodded eagerly for his son to continue. "...I want to know what happened to Kris, and what happened to Aunt Vix and Uncle Rudy and why they're splitting up." 

Asgore frowned, "'Splitting up'? Rudy and Vixen aren't splitting up. Who told you that?" 

Asriel's brows furrowed. "I ran into Noelle on the way to mom's. I asked her how her parents were and she said 'it could be going better' so I assumed they were going through a rough patch." Asgore's face grew mournful and Asriel felt himself grow cold, "What is it?" 

"...Rudy is in the hospital, son," Asgore answered after a long minute. Asriel felt his heart drop. Before he could ask anything, Asgore sat on the countertop and sagged. "...he isn't getting better. I haven't been able to visit much with the store, but he isn't well." He paused to heave a heavy sigh. "Do not tell Noelle that he likely will not recover. He told me in confidence, but I trust you will not go announcing it around town, yes?" Asriel nodded numbly. "Good. As for Kris," he sighed again. "I'm not sure. They haven't visited much. Last time I saw them was two days ago. They were their usual quiet self." 

"How long has Kris been quiet like that?" Asriel practically demanded. "Where did their energy go? They, they used to talk or sign your ear off! What happened?" Asgore squeezed his eyes shut. It didn't seem like he was going to answer. Asriel sighed in defeat, he was going to have to ask someone else, "Sorry, dad, I just-" 

"Noelle knows better than I," Asgore admitted with his head hung low. "But all I could figure out was that Kris was being bullied by one of the older children at the school. Kris was under my custody that day and I was late to pick them up as I wanted to speak with your mother. Noelle interrupted us and said Kris needed our help." 

Asriel was quiet for a moment. "...mom said Kris fell out of a tree." 

"Kris said they fell out of a tree and landed on a log, yes," Asgore nodded. "But logs don't make striped bruises, Asriel. Your mother believes them. I wish I could." 

"So mom took full custody? That's-" 

Asgore shook his head, "I gave up my custody. Your mother is far better equipped to care for Kris than I." Asgore frowned at the anger on his son's face. "I've tried asking Noelle. I was angry, too. I think I scared her, though. I don't see her around much, and whenever I do it is when I go visit Rudy. She leaves as soon as I enter the room," he said sadly. "Rudy may know more about the incident, and he would be very happy to see you, I'm sure," Asgore gave a weak smile. 

Asriel nodded, "Yeah, thanks." He turned and left the store without another word or glance as his head was filled with thoughts of violence and heart-rending grief. 

His feet carried him to the hospital. Asriel checked his phone for the time. '10:45. I saw Noelle leaving her house at around 8:45. Susie said her and Kris would meet them at the library after breakfast, which was at around 10ish. She shouldn't be here, then.' He entered the lobby and tensed. 

The hospital waiting room/lobby was sterilized white. Kind of like snow. 'How the hell is Noelle able to come here at all?' He was about to leave when the receptionist called out to him. 

"You're Asriel, right?" Asriel turned to the big-lipped monster. He swallowed nervously and nodded. "...Noelle mentioned that you'd come back. Rudy is excited to see you." 

"R-right…" Asriel stepped up to the front desk, "which room is-" 

"Go through the double doors then take the room on the left," she deadpanned. 

Asriel nodded with a small 'thanks'. He followed the instructions given to him and stopped in front of the door on the left. 'Crap, this is hard…' his fingers twitched as he instinctively reached into his back pocket before he realized what he was doing. Asriel slapped his cheeks and shook his head, 'C'mon, get it together, Azzy. This is a hospital, can't do it in here even if you had them on you.' He took a few deep breaths and reached for the door handle, 'Just get it over with.'  

Asriel opened the door and stepped in only to recoil back from the smell of medicines and disinfectants. "Oof, that's one way to tell an old man he smells!" An older suave voice cackled. Asriel stepped forward and braved the scents, hoping he'd get used to them sooner than later. He winced at the sight of the source of the voice. 

On the hospital bed lay the once great Rudolph Holiday. He was average height, with brown fur and short black hair and a thin mustache and goatee. A perpetually thin man, he was often known in college for being the first one out in drinking games and fights. Though he made up for the lack of physical prowess with charisma that…frankly could use some work. Asriel remembered when Rudy recalled the first time he had met Vixen and called her "a HOT piece of work" which earned him a blackout slap. Despite his skinniness through life, it was always healthy. Rudy didn't look healthy anymore with such gaunt features. 

"Well, Azzy? You gonna say somethin' or what?" Rudy smirked. 

Asriel only slumped further. He closed the door and sulked over to a folding chair near the bed and collapsed into it with a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry," he said finally. 

Rudy chuckled, "For what? It's only a few tests!" Asriel looked over and saw the reindeer smiling wryly. Asriel held a forlorn gaze. "Dammit," Rudy chuckled halfheartedly, "what'd he tell ya?" 

Asriel shook his head honestly, "Nothing. He said he trusted me to not tell anyone else, and I don't plan to." 

Rudy laughed so hard he began coughing and hacking. "You…you couldn't keep a secret to…" He chuckled, "...to save your own life…" 

Asriel recovered from the frown that appeared and playfully shoved Rudy's hoof, "Psh, I can keep a secret! I keep plenty of secrets!" 

"Like what?" Rudy raised an eyebrow cockily. 

Asriel shook his head and leaned back in his seat smugly, "Well that'd defeat the purpose of a secret, wouldn't it?" 

Rudy cackled. "Yeah, it's easier to tell you than my Noelle and Vixen," he took a shaky breath and sighed, "I have cancer, Azzy." 

Asriel had been expecting that, but his heart shattered all the same. His world became blurry and numb and he could hardly speak with the knot in his throat, "W-what?" He swallowed, "For how long? What-" 

"It started a few months ago, or that's when I found a lump on one of my testicles," Rudy answered surprisingly steady. "Went to the doctor, ran some tests, found out it didn't start there." The reindeer raised a brow at the goat, "d'you smoke?" 

Asriel began to shake his head but hesitated and thought better of it. "Yes, " he nodded, "I've smoked since my first finals week at college." 

"Damn pipeline, isn't it?" Rudy wheezed out a laugh. Asriel couldn't find the comedy in it. "Well, I started smoking when I was twelve," Rudy smiled ruefully, "Saw Gone With The Wind and it was a time that a twelve-year-old could go to a grocery store and pick up a carton of cigs, y'know?" 

Asriel nodded, "Yeah, mom always said those were horrible times." 

"Oh really?" Rudy smirked, "Wouldn't think her to have that opinion if you saw her back at college. I'm still worried about her liver!" Rudy cackled again. 

"How bad is it, Uncle Rudy?" Asriel asked desperately, almost begging Rudy to tell him it wasn't serious. 

"Stage four lung cancer," Rudy answered mirthlessly. "Doctor says I got about two months to live. Already took care of one cancer through surgery, but the big one is just tankin' the experimental treatments." Rudy smiled proudly, "Nobody could ever keep me down, 'cept for me, of course." 

Asriel felt his eyes burn and the world devolved into shapeless blobs and colours. "What about chemo?" 

"I'm not sure I'd even survive that, Azzy." Rudy coughed heavily into his bedsheets before pressing the button to call the nurse. "I don't think I'd want my daughter or wife to see me fade away like that. Know what they say? 'Live fast, die young, make a pretty corpse.' Always liked that motto." 

The door to the room opened. Asriel sniffled and wiped his eyes and cheeks with the palms of his hands. The nurse wordlessly walked over and changed Rudy's bedsheets, removing the ones with a prominent red stain from sight. "Thanks, Red," Rudy waved tiredly to the nurse. Red nodded silently as she left the room. She looked… sad. "I'm grateful that Red is the nurse here," Asriel snapped towards Rudy, "she doesn't mind changing the sheets or cleaning up some blood right when it happens. Helps keep the ruse up." 

Asriel shot out of his seat and declared authoritatively, "You need to tell them." Rudy opened his mouth to argue, but Asriel snapped his fingers, "Shut up! You need to tell them. Aunt Vixen and Noelle, you've gotta tell them. I've kept out of touch with my family. I've hidden from them because I was scared to come back here. I still am terrified. I want things to go back to the way they were. And if we work hard enough, things can go back to what they were!" Asriel sounded hopeful, "We can go back to barbecues at each other's houses, back to when the little kids played with each other! Back when everything was simple! We just can't hide from the things we don't want to face." He paused for a moment and gathered his words. "We can't let you go quietly." 

Rudy remained still for a minute. Finally he opened his mouth, "Asriel, I would love for things to go back. I would love to be able to dance with my girls or grill with my best friend, but I will never be the same after this. Whether I go through chemo or not, I'm not gonna go back to what I used to be." 

"You can!" Asriel snapped. "You are one of the strongest people I've ever known. You can survive this, you can win! Like you always do! You've got Lady Luck on your side, remember?" 

Rudy smiled, "This isn't a card game, Azzy. This is cancer, and you can't cheat that." 

Asriel gripped the bed railing tightly and an alarm went off, "You can figure out a way to cheat it! I know you can!" 

The nurse entered with a frown on her lips. Rudy held a hand up and Red stopped. He smiled at Asriel, "I'll… when's your graduation?" 

Asriel hesitated due to confusion. "It's, uh, in three months?" 

Rudy smiled and patted Asriel's hands, "Tell 'ya what, I'll go through it. I'll try to be there for your graduation, buddy." He paused and quietly said to himself, "And I'll tell Noelle and Vixen tomorrow." 

Asriel was ushered out by the nurse. "...thanks. Doctor and I have been trying to get him to do that since he got here. Just hope he doesn't chicken out." 

'Me too…' 

~~~ 

Asriel entered the library with a nervous heart. He didn't want anyone to know he was returning this book, least of all his family and friends. His heart dropped when he saw who was behind the counter, though. 

A bird monster with light blue and green feathers and a smug expression beneath his glasses. Or at least an expression that could be read as smug. He glanced up from his book, 'Being Dumb, for Idiots', and scoffed, "You must be the great and illustrious Asriel Dreemurr." 

'Crap.' Asriel swallowed nervously, "Y-yep! I-" 

The monster slapped the book down sharply, "If your next words are not 'I've come to return a book' then I think it'd be best if you left." 

"Uh…" Asriel glanced around quickly, scanning the area for anyone that might see him. When he deemed the coast clear he plucked the book from beneath his shirt and swiftly slid it to the bird. 

The bird looked shocked. "Huh, I thought you'd be as irresponsible as Kris." 

Asriel frowned, "What? What's that supposed to mean?" 'What does this guy know about Kris? Maybe-'  

"It means you have a late fee consisting of not returning a book for two thousand five hundred eighty-five days. Do you have the money on you? Or are you gonna-" 

Asriel tugged his wallet out of his pocket and slid over two one-hundred dollar bills. "Will that be enough? For both the fee and if you keep quiet about the book?" 

The bird shook his head, "It's ten cents a day, and with how many days overdue it is, that would be a total of two hundred fifty-eight dollars and fifty cents." 

Asriel begrudgingly paid the amount, "You won't tell anyone that I ever checked that book out, right?" 

The bird shook his head, "Of course not!" He held a wing to his chest with what Asriel thought might be actual offense, "What do you take me for? I'm a professional!" 

"A professional volunteer?" Asriel asked with a slight mocking lilt to his voice that he couldn't quite keep under wraps. 

The bird looked down at the badge on his white dress shirt. He grunted and looked back up at Asriel. "Will that be all, sir ?" he asked through clenched teeth. 

Asriel dropped the smile, "Uh, no actually. You said something about Kris? What did you mean by that?" 

The bird scoffed, "Please, don't act as if you do not know. You are their brother, afterall, you should know precisely what I mean." 

"I…" Asriel rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "...I don't know. I've been at college for a few years, and-" 

"So?" The bird rolled his eyes, "Kris has always been irresponsible. They always needed someone to help them remember their school supplies, their lunch, when to get up and when to move. Only recently have they begun to take initiative." He shook his head, "Admittedly, perhaps they have a valid reason for it. I don't know why they never speak out loud in class, even when they are called upon by the teacher, but Noelle has assured me they have a reason." 

Asriel winced, "I see…" 

The bird continued, "And don't get me started on their pranks! Like two days ago, they had told me I should stand beneath the hospital window! I declined, of course, as I sensed a dubious plot was afoot." 

"Uh-huh, you mentioned you knew Noelle?" Asriel asked disinterestedly. 

"Oh yes! Noelle is a great friend and ally of mine," the bird answered with a fond smile. "She has greatly assisted me with my learning! If it weren't for her, I would not be where I am today." 

"What do you know about her personally?" Asriel leaned forward. 'Finally, someone that knows something!'  

The bird dramatically held his wing to his forehead, "I'm afraid I know little. And even if I were to know something, I am too loyal to consider revealing it." 

Asriel hummed in disappointment, "Well, thank you for answering what you could. I'll be off now." The bird squawked incredulously as Asriel strode out of the building. 

Asriel made his way north to the ol' reliable restaurant for those midday lunch pick-me-ups: QC's Diner. He smiled fondly at the retro building. Kris always loved how it looked straight out of the older movies their parents enjoyed. Asriel made sure to take them whenever he was able. 

Like the last time he and Kris were there. It didn't rain that day, but it should have in his opinion. It was dark and grey everywhere, and even the usual beacon in the dark had its colours dulled. Asriel remembered QC looking at the two with distraught as she delivered a free hot chocolate to the bawling human. They didn't drink it. They stormed out to go stop their parents from divorcing while Asriel stayed in the booth. 

"So it's true, then?" QC had asked. Asriel only nodded in response. He received some fries a few minutes later, fresh and just the way he liked them. 

Asriel blinked away the memory. He shook his head free of the gloom and smiled at the pleasant sunny afternoon before entering the diner. 

It was just the way he remembered it. Red pleather seats and booths, tan floor tiles with scuffs and scratches here and there, a dulled mint green wallpaper with more pictures and trinkets displayed than he remembered, and QC behind the counter busy flipping burger patties. Asriel smiled more genuinely as he took a deep inhale of all the scents of QC's Diner. It smelled of grease and meat. 

Asriel walked over to the booth in the back corner and took the seat against the wall. He glanced out the window as he waited for a waitress and chuckled fondly at Ice-E's Pezza. 'I wonder if Kris is still afraid of Ice-E?' His smile dimmed at the thought of his sibling. 

"...you gonna order something?" 

Asriel jumped and spun in his seat. "Oh!" he laughed, "Hey Catti! Sorry, I was lost in my thoughts." The waitress was a cat monster related to Dad Cat, though Catti was by far the most well adjusted in Asriel's opinion. This was of course taking into account the dark gothic vibes she always gave off and the dealings in the occult. He assumed the uniform was mandatory as it was lighter colours than black or purple.

Catti nodded disinterestedly, "Yeah, I can tell. Saw your dark aura from down the road." 

Asriel tilted his head inquisitively, "Really?" He chuckled, "Come on, I'm not a bad person, I don't have a dark aura!" 

Catti rolled her eyes, "You have dark thoughts. You probably feel your entire world is crumbling around you and it's eating you up inside." Asriel stiffened. He didn't like feeling so… exposed. Catti smiled, "There it grows. You have a lot of regrets, right?" 

Asriel rubbed his arms weakly, "My dark aura told you all that?" 

Catti's smile widened. "No, people say things without words all the time. Trick I learned from some legendary fortune tellers that visited last year's carnival." 

"Huh." Asriel found a cheeky smirk growing on his face, "So, what am I saying right now?" 

"You want your usual, which is a double stacked burger with lettuce between each patty and bun with a ketchup smilie face under the top bun with extra fries with extra salt and a tiny amount of sugar," Catti deadpanned as she scribbled on her notepad. She glanced up from it, "...you want a hot chocolate to go." 

Asriel frowned. She was scarily accurate, which was a huge improvement from how she used to be. The only thing that was wrong was the drink. "Actually, I-" 

Catti shook her head, "No, you're gonna want it. Don't drink it, it'll help you later." Before Asriel could speak she tore off the page she'd been writing on and slipped it to him, "This is your receipt with the tip you're planning to give me already included." 

Asriel blinked dumbly as Catti walked away and gave the order to QC. The titular chef beamed and began setting small stations aside for the order. Asriel studied the ticket and winced. 'Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that things are more expensive here than they used to be, but it used to be perfect for kids to come visit with how affordable everything was!' He frowned as the prevalent question popped into his mind: 'What happened while I was gone?'  

Kris was almost a different person compared to the child he grew up with. Noelle was always quiet and shy, and after Dess… well, she was even worse, and Asriel worried what would happen to her when Uncle Rudy told her the truth. Toriel was the same as he remembered, except she was always good at lying to him. Asgore was doing well at first glance, but Asriel wasn't sure. He looked tired and stressed, which Asriel had grown all too familiar with during his college tenure. He felt the change, too. It was gradual, but as the days drew closer to his departure home he became aware of a tightness in his shoulders and a weight on his neck. 

The front door opened and in walked Susie. Asriel stiffened and swallowed the little saliva left in his drying mouth down his tightening throat. She walked right up to Catti, presumably gave her the order, then scanned the restaurant before her eyes landed on Asriel. He felt like he was sweating bullets as she walked over and fell into the booth across from him with a heavy sigh. 

"So… uh…" Susie coughed awkwardly. "I… want to apologize," she fiddled with her hands sheepishly, "Maybe I was a little bit much…" 

"What?" Asriel laughed lightly in disbelief. "You weren't wrong, though?" 

Susie grumbled, "Tell me about it." She sighed again, "Kris told me to apologize." 

"Huh, I thought it'd be mom." 

Susie laughed, "Right? I know I was loud and shit, but of all people to chew me out I wouldn't think Kris." She released a regretful sigh as she slumped forward, "...but, I am sorry…ish…" 

"You really don't have to-" 

"But I do!" Susie slammed her fists into the table, bringing the diner to a halt. "I mean, uh," she cleared her throat before lowering her voice to a whisper, "It isn't exactly your fault. You… you went your own way and… uh…" Susie laughed as her tense frame relaxed slightly. The atmosphere in the diner was beginning to return to what it was before her disruption, though the tension in the air could still be cut with a knife. "Sorry, I'm so shit at this." 

Asriel smiled. "Yeah," he nodded empathetically, "I get what you mean. I find it difficult to apologize for stuff." His smile dimmed to a frown, "...it's hard to let go." 

"Huh?" 

Asriel met Susie's gaze, "The past, it's hard to let it go." He gestured around the diner with a fond, melancholic smile, "Take QC's for example: I have so many amazing memories here of fun with mom and dad and Kris, yet the only one I remember when I think about this place is the time I came with them and told them our parents were splitting up." 

"Yikes…" Susie rubbed her arm uncomfortably. "...I guess they didn't take it well?" 

Asriel shook his head with the smile losing its mirth. "Kris wouldn't drink the hot chocolate QC gave them for a week." 

Susie hummed thoughtfully. "Can you tell me more about the good times you remember?" 

Asriel blinked in surprise. "Huh? Why would you wanna talk to me for?" 

"You didn't abandon them, you just… moved on… that's how Kris put it anyways." Susie explained. With more nervousness than he'd seen from her yet she spoke in a barely audible voice, "And, I've never had many friends. I was always seen as a big scary person. Kris… they saw me for who I was eventually. I wanna know more about them, about what I might've made disappear." She rolled her shoulders and regained some of the confidence and strength back in her posture, "Besides, maybe I can fill ya in a little on what's been happening." 

The food was laid out in front of the two shortly. His burger and fries, and Susie's burger with an unhealthy amount of meat with a side of… just a potato? "Sweet! Thanks Catti!" 

"...sure." 

Asriel shrugged at the waitress's demeanor. He looked back at Susie, "Alright, deal. Do you wanna hear the story about how Kris got stuck in the Holidays' Christmas lights or do you wanna hear the story about how Kris managed to finally get a stomachache?" 

"Uh… which is funnier?" 

Asriel smirked, "No, I meant which do you wanna hear first ?" 

Thirty minutes later and Asriel was hollering laughter alongside Susie. "Oh man! You'd think they'd quit eating random stuff after eating something that coulda killed them!" 

Asriel nodded along, "Yeah, they were kinda bummed about mom banning them from eating much of anything until we were sure their stomach could handle whatever was put in there." He smirked as he asked, "So, what's the most impressive thing you've seen them eat?" 

Susie scratched her chin as her face screwed up into thought. Asriel beamed proudly. If Susie had to think about it that meant there were plenty of options. "Well, honestly the most impressive thing I've seen them do is eat like eight steaks in a row." 

Asriel did a double take. " Eight !? How did they afford that!?" 

Susie tensed as if she were caught with her hand in the cookie jar, "Uhhh… they found them in the garbage." 

Asriel nodded nonchalantly, "Oh, yeah, that explains it." Susie seemed to relax, which helped himself to relax more. He took a sip of his soda before answering his own question, "The most impressive thing I've seen Kris eat has got to be an entire phone book in under five minutes without anything to drink." 

Susie's eyes bugged out as she leaned forward. "Woah…" she smirked cockily a second later, "I could beat that." 

"Kris's record is four minutes and seventeen seconds if you wanna try," Asriel helpfully added. He looked down at the two plates of what had once carried food. "Wow, I forgot how much I missed the food here." 

Susie shrugged, "Eh, it's alright." 

Asriel frowned indignantly, " Just alright? Seriously?" 

Susie scowled as she crossed her arms, "Hey don't judge me for not loving this place, just ain't my vibe. Food's good an' all, but it ain't stellar! 'Specially with all those budget cuts they had to do a while ago." 

Asriel blinked. He tilted his head slightly as he leaned forward and asked quietly, "What budget cuts?" 

Susie winced sympathetically, "Yeah… I remember there was a big drama over QC having to let her sister go. QC said it was 'cause her sister never did nothin', her sister said it was because QC was a greedy bitch." Asriel opened his mouth to argue, but Susie shrugged and continued before he could add anything, "Either way, the food got more expensive for a worse taste, wait time was higher, and lots of stuff had to be removed from the menu." 

Asriel hummed sadly. It happened all the time to the places on his campus. An original restaurant would have the price of its rent raised, and then it would need to raise prices to cover the loss. But there would be a decrease in customers, then the rent would increase again and again until the business had to close. The only ones that seemed to never have an issue were the big name brand places. Asriel started packing his lunch after the first three semesters. 

Asriel cleared his mind. He glanced around searching before turning to Susie once more, "Hey, do you know where Kris is?" 

Susie blinked. She slammed her head into the table hard enough that Asriel heard it crack. "Dammit…" she groaned, "I forgot I was supposed to get us lunch to go…" 

Catti came over with a brown paper bag with grease stains on the bottom, "Here, this is Kris's food." She slid a paper cup with a cardboard ring around the center and a plastic lid with steam flowing through the opening. "And that's their hot chocolate." 

"Huh?" Susie blinked. She patted her jeans' pockets before moving frantically to the pockets of her jacket. 

Asriel slipped out some cash, "Don't worry, Susie, I can cover it!" 

Catti took the cash and walked away. Susie's brows furrowed, "...why?" 

Asriel gave a meek smile and a shrug, "Well, it's the least I can do. You've been here for Kris while I wasn't." 

"...not always," Susie grumbled. 

"That's more than me since I left," Asriel argued. He stood with a grunt, "Welp, I'd better get going. I promised mom and dad that I'd help change the tires on her car." He waved at the girl, "Bye Susie!" 

"See ya, Rals." Asriel turned before he could see Susie stiffen with fear. 

'' Rals '? That's an odd nickname, but I guess it fits!'  

~~~ 

Asriel frowned into the beer bottle. "...it tastes a little watery." 

Asgore shrugged ruefully, "Yes, but I find the taste still reminiscent of the alcoholic variety," he finished with a long swig of his own beer. 

Asriel took a seat next to his father on the front steps of his mother's porch as he stared out at the sky. The sun was setting and couldn't be seen through all the trees. He raised the bottle to his lips, "How long have you been clean?" 

"Four-hundred seventy-three days," Asgore answered instantly. At his son's surprised expression he chuckled, "I have it on a white board in my bathroom. Mark it every night before bed." 

Asriel hummed as he swallowed his sip. "Does it help?" 

Asgore nodded, "It helps. Long days especially. I can always look at it and think, 'You did it. You made it through today, and look! You're still you.' " 

"Huh." Asriel turned his gaze back towards his mother's car. It took a while to fix, due to the fact that the tires had never been changed before and the nuts were nigh impossible to remove. Not to mention that they didn't have an outstanding jack. He glanced at his hands and winced, "Yikes, I'm gonna need to wash my hands for a while." His fur always seemed to trap anything inside of it, and the grease covering his hands and arms would be no exception. 

"A shower would be more efficient. Besides," Asgor drew his claw across his son's forehead with a teasing smile, "you have quite a mess on your face." 

"Really?" Asriel instinctively wiped at his forehead and grimaced after he was done. "I…just made it worse, didn't I?" Asgore was restraining laughter as he nodded. "Ugh," he chugged the last of his non-alcoholic beer before turning to go inside. "Needed a shower today, anyways." 

Asgore nodded, "And I should be going. Tell Kris I said howdy!" 

Asriel gave a small smile, "Sure, dad." Asgore smiled before gathering the tools and old tires and getting into his truck. The two men waved as they went their separate ways. Asriel was careful not to touch too much as he entered the house. 

"Is he gone, dear?" Toriel asked from the couch while she watched TV. 

"Yeah, we got the tires replaced," Asriel answered tiredly. 

Toriel began to stand, "Oh, let me get you something to eat and drink! Those drinks won't give you any nutrients-" 

"Don't worry about it, mom, I'm getting a shower so you can wait." 

Toriel frowned, "Are you sure, my child? I'd hate for you to go hungry for too long. I could start a meal that would be ready by the time you get out?" 

Asriel shrugged, "Sure, mom, thank you." He walked with a hastened pace to the bathroom and shut the door with a sigh of relief. 'Finally, some peace and quiet.' Asgore had chatted his ears off about cars and engines and tires and flowers it almost drove him insane. He was glad to hear his father speak so animatedly about so many things, but it was kind of ridiculous. 'I suppose that's what I get for not keeping in touch with any of them, though.'  

He pulled out his phone and looked up the sign language dictionary. 'Especially for leaving you behind, Kris.' He studied it a little as he stripped down. He paused to turn the shower on, then continued as he adjusted the water with one hand. He set his phone by the sink and stepped through the curtain once the water was comfortable. He didn't know how long he stayed in there for. His mind was filled with the things he would try to say to Kris tonight before bed. Apologies, stories of college, promises to never leave them behind like he had. But none of them felt real. None of them felt possible. None of them were what he wanted to happen. What Asriel wanted was to hear about Kris's life while he was away. He wanted to hear that they could handle themselves. He wanted to hear that they were dating someone if they were interested in dating. He wanted to hear about adventures with their friends. He wanted to hear about their grades and hoped that they were doing well in school. 

He wanted to know that they didn't need him, and he didn't have to worry so much about them anymore. 

He finished scrubbing the grime from the bus rides, the day's walking, the hospital's chemicals, the library's dust, QC's grease, and the sweat and black lubricant from changing tires that afternoon into the night. He stood under the water a bit longer and sighed pleasantly. He remembered as a child that the family had to take turns helping Kris with their showers when they couldn't be trusted to do it alone. He felt a phantom chill wash over him as he remembered the freezing cold they subjected everyone to. 'I wonder if they still like cold showers over hot ones?'  

Asriel shook his head and shut the water off. He began the long and arduous task of squeezing water out of his fur. After a while, he finally stepped out of the tub and grabbed the nearby towel. He grimaced at the loose strands of brown hair that dotted the wall. 'They must be shedding again. Poor Kris, I know the trouble.' He toweled himself off the best he could and went to hang the towel up when he noticed the only clothes in the bathroom were the dirty ones he'd been wearing for over twenty-four hours. 

"Crap…" Asriel wrapped the towel around his lower body and approached the door. He leaned his ear against the door and listened. He heard Toriel in the kitchen preparing food and shouting that the food was almost done. 'Perfect!' Asriel knew his mother had seen him naked as a child, and he truthfully wasn't worried about her. She may tease him about how much he's grown and he wanted to avoid that, but she wouldn't be an issue. Asriel was more worried about possible visitors seeing him practically naked. However, if she was just calling out about the food, that meant there were no visitors and he was safe to rush to his room and change. He opened the door and poked half his body out quietly- 

Kris stared at him. Asriel stared back. Toriel's footsteps approached. "Would you mind fetching Asriel some clothes? I believe he forgot to grab any before he entered the shower and it sounds like he may be done. They are upstairs on his bed," their mother said from around the corner. Kris nodded and turned towards the stairs. They hurried up them and disappeared for a minute before returning and holding the clothes out to him. 

Asriel mouthed a 'thank you' and vanished into the bathroom as he shut the door. He frowned as he examined the clothes. A pair of sweatpants he could understand, the sweater his mother made for him before he left for college sure. He hadn't worn it at all in the years he had been gone, so it was more of a surprise than anything. Well, almost anything. He grimaced in disgust at the pair of underwear Kris had procured. It was pink, which wouldn't be an issue normally. He liked pink, sometimes. But when it was a neon pink thong , he had issues. 'Where did they even find this???' Asriel shook his head adamantly, 'I'm not wearing this. I'm not-' He raised an eyebrow at a slip of paper poking out of the neck of the turtleneck sweater. He plucked it out and read it, his eye began to twitch frustratedly. 

Wear it and I'll give you $5

-Kris  

Asriel crumpled the note in anger. 

~~~ 

Asriel strode confidently out of the bathroom and spun straight to the stairs. If he was fast enough he could avoid his mother seeing the bands of the pink thong peeking out over his hips. He needed Kris to see so they knew he won this little prank, so he decided to toss the sweater over his shoulder to help both his temperature and the visibility of the-

"Oh!" Asriel froze in terror. "I see you've a need to change into some thong more comfortable!" Asriel slowly turned to find his mother giggling in delight and Kris smiling evilly. 

He scowled at his sibling for a moment before marching up to them and holding out his hand. He gestured for them to hand it over. Kris tilted their head quizzically with a schooled expression. Asriel felt light hearted frustration boil up in him, "C'mon, Kris, I still have the note you wrote." 

"Note?" Toriel tilted her head. Asriel handed her the wrinkled slip of paper. She read it for a moment before giggling, "My child, this is your handwriting, not Kris's." 

Asriel snatched the paper out of her hands and examined it more closely. It was his handwriting, key word being 'was'. Through college he had improved his handwriting so that his notes were more legible, and the note was reminiscent of his high-school notes. He didn't have to see his sibling's eyes to know they were beaming in enjoyment. Kris was relishing this. Then he realized through his anger that he had seen them smile for the first time in years. Asriel felt tears welling up in his eyes and felt a smile split his lips as a chuckle escaped his throat. "Heh, yeah, thought I could get away with it." He turned and went back up the stairs. "Don't wait on me, I'm gonna change then I'll be right down for dinner!" 

Asriel entered the bedroom and heaved a sigh. 'I deserved that, to be honest.' He walked over to his bed. The sheets were cleaned and he felt if he searched for hours he still may not find a mote of dust. His clothes from his duffle bag were clean and folded neatly at the foot of the bed with his duffle next to them. He stripped down and tossed his clothes to the side. He looked at the thong with disdain, 'How did those get in my bag? Did he drop them in?' He shuddered at the thought. His roommate dressed quite extravagantly, and he had a collection of similar items. 'Always told me I'd look good in one. Didn't imagine I would ever wear one though, much less in front of my mom and sibling.'  

Asriel slipped on some boxers, the gray sweatpants, and a white t-shirt before going downstairs for dinner. The scent brought a wide smile to his face as he approached the dining room table. "Pork chops?"

"Yes, my child," Toriel beamed as she placed Kris and Asriel's plates down. She went into the kitchen to grab her own plate while she spoke over her shoulder, "It is still your favourite, correct?" 

"Yeah!" Asriel nodded eagerly after taking his seat. Kris motioned their hand discreetly, telling him to stop. He had just speared a freshly sliced cube, and was confused. He trusted his sibling (mostly), so he put down the utensils before waiting. 

Toriel took a seat at the head of the table where she could watch her children sitting at the side with their backs to the kitchen. "Thank you for your patience, Kris. Alright, Asriel, let us give thanks." 

'Why did she specify me? Does Kris not believe in the Angel anymore?' Asriel mentally shrugged. 'I guess I shouldn't be surprised, they never really took to the Angel's teachings.' He bowed his head and closed his eyes to give thanks to the Angel and pray for things to return to what they once were. 

Dinner was uneventful. Asriel answered every one of his mother's questions, though not all of them truthfully. He wasn’t going to tell Toriel how he started smoking or got into a few booze binges that nearly made him fail his first few finals. He was excited to tell her about the new game project he was working on, though. 

“So, basically, you play as this human that falls into a place called the Underground where there are Monsters trapped there and you go through it in an effort to escape.” 

“Oh!” Toriel smiled pridefully. Her smile drooped a moment later, “Wait… does this human fight the monsters?” 

Asriel beamed, “See, that’s the best part of this game! You don’t have to fight anyone! You can just spare all of them! It’ll have three different endings based on the actions the player takes.” 

“Oh, that’s wonderful!” Toriel turned to Kris, “Don’t you agree?” Kris didn’t respond to her. Instead, they asked if he was putting his self-insert OC into the game. 

Asriel groaned as he felt his cheeks flush in embarrassment, “Ugh, why is that the first thing that comes to your mind…” He sighed in a defeat that was softened by Kris’s smile. “...yes, ‘Asriel, the God of Hyper Death’ is gonna be in the game, but I promise it makes sense!” Kris signed back a sarcastic agreement. 

Toriel stood from her seat and took the emptied plates, “Allow me to take these. If you do not mind, my child, is there any way you might be able to show us your project?” 

Asriel opened his mouth to explain how difficult the action would be, but with how Kris’s head perked up he suddenly found it impossible to refuse. “I… well, I’d need to fiddle with the files to get the formatting right on my computer upstairs, but I can do it!” 

“Wonderful!” Toriel rinsed one of the plates and placed it into the dish rack before starting on a new unclean plate. “If you wish to go ahead and start it, I will join you two once I am finished!” 

“Okay, mom!” Asriel nodded towards the stairs, “C’mon, Kris! I think you’ll really like this game!” 

There wasn’t a lot of polished content to show off, but he was able to show the home of the character based on his mother. Toriel seemed to enjoy it, but Kris didn’t for some reason. It was an hour or so later in bed when he gathered the courage to ask them about it. He leaned over and tugged on the cord to the lamp filling the dark room with light. “Hey, Kris, sorry to bother you, but I gotta know something…” Kris motioned for him to continue. “So… you didn’t seem to like the game. Was there… something wrong? It’s still in the early stages of development, so I wanna get any issues worked out as early as possible.” 

Kris laid motionless in their bed. They heaved a heavy sigh before hesitantly signing displeasure for the player character. The character looked miserable, tired and unhappy. The character looked emotionless and unappealing, apparently. 

“What?” Asriel sputtered, “But I… they’re inspired by you…” Kris nodded. They signed that’s exactly why they didn’t like it. “Oh. W-well, I can change it!” Kris shook their head. They didn’t want him to change it on their account. “B-but, you don’t like it! I want you to like it!” 

“Why do you care?” Asriel froze with a chill crawling up his spine. Kris’s hoarse whisper was so not Kris he would have assumed there was another entity in the room had he not had the light on and witnessed their lips moving. 

Asriel swallowed, “Well, I care because you’re my sibling! Why wouldn’t I care?” Kris swallowed with a grimace. They hastily signed that nobody cared, that’s why they were left behind. That’s why their parents divorced. That’s why they were bullied and nobody did anything to help them. Asriel frowned, “Oh yeah? You’re saying Susie doesn’t care?” 

Kris chuckled curtly. They signed that nobody cares about either of them, Noelle and Berdley included. That’s why they were friends, because there wasn’t anyone else. A tear slipped down Kris’s cheek. “We can’t change the past, we can’t fix what’s been broken. We can never be the same, Azzy.”  

It hurt him deep down. His chest tightened and he felt anxious. Despite the light, he felt darkness. “Kris, don’t talk like that. I… I know I left, a-and I never called or reached out, b-but we can be the same. We can fix the past, fix what’s been broken. We have extra parts, tools, people.” He felt like he was grasping for candles in a pitch black warehouse hoping they wouldn’t roll away. 

“We can’t bring Dess back. We can’t bring Susie’s mom back. We can’t get mom and dad back…” Kris took a raspy breath with great pain, “...no one can choose who they are in this world.” They turned over and signed a good night with one hand. 

Asriel stayed motionless for a while. It felt like a while. The candle rolled away, and he was trapped in a dark maze reaching out and hoping to touch something that may guide him to the right path. “...night.” Asriel turned the light off and laid back down. He hated that he felt Kris was right. There wasn’t anything that could be done for those they’d lost. The only way to go back to the way things used to be would be turning back the clock, and if he were able to go back in time and change things he didn’t know if it would fix anything. It might make it worse. 

Life will change, no matter what you may wish. You will lose people, you will be looked down on and hoisted onto a pedestal in your lifetime. You will love yourself, you will hate yourself. You will be proud, you will regret, but you must go on. Life will change, and you will change along with it. If you do not change, you will be left behind. We cannot hold onto the past forever, and if we do we will again be left behind. Kris has pushed through and forged their own way in life, they have found a candle and are making their way through the dark. Asriel will find his candle when he turns around and leaves the future behind. He will change, as all of us do, eventually. 

Find your candle, your path forward. Light it with confidence and power through the darkness. You may not find the exit at first, you may not find the exit you were hoping to find. You must choose where to go, that is your freedom. You have the power of choosing your path and lighting it freely. Go forth and find your one way.