Chapter Text
You swiftly ducked in and out of alleys, going in directions difficult to track, the bloodied valuables in hand. You stopped in an alley far from your crime scene, sure to not touch anything except what you already had. You sighed as you removed your costume gloves you always wore while on the job and tossed them into the corner.
“Fuck.. who knew an 80-year-old could fight… I’m glad I went for the phone first. Tonight could’ve been the end of my career.” you muttered to yourself, unzipping the bloodied velvet purse. It’d sell for a pretty penny if it wasn’t covered in viscera. You searched through the purse, then examining other odd items you’d found around the house here and there, checking if any have good value.
Unbeknownst to you, you were being inspected just like you were any old antique. Not for selling, in this case. No, he was trying to determine whether or not you were a good meal. If you could fight back.
You heard heavy footsteps behind you, and you placed a hand on your pistol.
“I suggest you leave. Now.” You didn’t have time for interruptions.
A man’s deep chuckle boomed from behind you.
“Hm. How cute, thinkin’ you’re the sharpest knife in the drawer, huh? The sharpest tool in the shed?”
You whipped yourself around, brandishing your weapon at your assailant. He was tall, freakishly so, around 6”8. Brandished with a red turtleneck sweater and a demon mask. This was no overzealous mugger, no, this was Bob Velseb. The cannibal-serial killer. You let out a hum, as this piqued your interest.
“Are you Bob Velseb, by any chance?” You felt nervous, he had such an intimidating aura. You tried not to show it.
He chuckled as he slowly approached.
“So what if i am? You’re gonna die tonight anyways, sweet thing~”
Your eyes lit up as your heart rate quickened.
“Well… it seems i’ve met somebody tonight that I’ve been hoping to meet for a *long time*” you lowered your gun, slightly hesitant as you moved forward. he looked at you with slight confusion.
“Hm? And wha’ddya mean by that?”
You reached him, reaching out a hand to caress his large form.
“I’m just like you, you know. Murders, robberies.. ring any bells?”
Suddenly, his knife was at your throat and his hand at your back, trapping you in.
“Heh. Funny way to buy yourself some time. How do i know yer not lyin’ straight to my face?”
You paused.
“Well, seeing as you’re blocking the exit, i can’t exactly run. I can get you proof that i’m the other major criminal at large, if you give me the chance.”
He seemed to think for a second, weighing his options. If you tried to escape, he was fast enough and in the right position to simply kill you. Why not entertain the possibility?
He took his knife away from your neck.
“Alright then. Get me this proof o’ yours.”
You smiled as your heart skipped a beat, dashing to grab your items from the crime scene you had just left, walking back over to Bob.
He quickly snatched the bloodied items off your hands, inspecting them as if he were a food critic. And just like one, he took a taste of the blood on the trinkets, to your dismay. You hoped it wouldnt effect their value. His eyes widened.
“Well, it seems you certainly ain’t lyin’ to me. I s’pose i need’a give you a formal introduction then, seein’ as i won’t be eatin’ ya.” He extended his large hand out to you.
You grabbed it, albeit hesitantly, and shook his hand.
“As ya know, I’m Bob Velseb. What’s your name, sweet thing?~”
You felt your cheeks go a slight pink as you gave Bob your name. You two began chatting about things, he told you cannibalism facts, you told him tips for invading homes. it was a little surprising how well the two of you clicked.
“So… y’got any plans for the rest of the night?” Bob asked after a while.
You chuckled, “hm.. not that i could think of. Why do you ask?”
“Well, I was thinkin’ we could go get a kill or two in, together? Ya seem to know yer stuff, it’d be useful to have ya along.”
“Is this your way of asking me on a date?”, You teased
“Heh, I dunno, you want it to be?~” he winked, the two of you staring at each other for a few seconds, before both starting to laugh. What are the chances of two killers with high bounties on their heads falling in love? Not much, you’d wager.
…
It was a few hours later, you and Bob had finally settled on a house to target. A home of a middle-aged couple, both pretty scummy people in town. You’d both had negative experience with them and figured it’d be an easy kill and two annoyances gone for good.
“So, i can pick the lock, and you said you could take care of both of them?” You asked Bob as you slid on your gloves.
“Mhm, since they should be asleep by now, shouldn’t be too tough fer me. You just take care of whatever ya need’ta do.” Bob looked like he wasnt even thinking about your part of the plan at the moment. You watched him staring indefinitely at the house, drooling.
You hummed in agreement and made your way to the door, pulling out your lock-picking kit. You knelt down until you were eye-level with the doorknob, beginning to carefully unlock the door.
bob’s heavy footsteps were heard approaching behind you, stopping when his stomach was just barely touching your back.
You worked at the door for a few more seconds, before finally, it unlocked. You then stood up, putting your kit away.
“Ready?”
Bob simply let out a grunt of confirmation in response.
You opened the door to the house slowly, taking in the surrounding room. You were in a neat living room, a large tv and a couch with a mound of blankets on it sat in the middle of the room.
Speaking of said couch, suddenly you heard a tired male voice from on it.
“..hello..? Is somebody there?” Shit. Seems the guy had been kicked out of the marital bed. How inconvenient.
You reached to your belt for your gun, drawing it quickly, aiming it to your best ability, and shooting the man on the couch before he could catch what was going on. You turned to Bob.
“I think you may wanna hurry upstairs, the gunshot probably woke up his wife.”
Bob nodded and stomped his way up the staircase, no longer worrying about how much noise he made.
You turned your attention to searching for valuables: family heirlooms, electronics, money, the works. The house was certainly not small, so you figured you’d get to work.
As you began, you heard a blood curdling scream, cut off suddenly and then followed by silence. You knew your dirty work here was done.
…
After a little while, Bob came back down the stairs, his clothes and mask doused in viscera and chewing on a mutilated severed arm. It shocked you, yes, but you then took a moment to remember who you were working with here.
“So, i uh, assume things are taken care of upstairs?”
Bob finished chewing his bite of arm and nodded.
“Say, i did find her wearin’ this ring. I know yer here for things of value, and i figured wedding bands are on that list.” He made sure you were looking when he tossed an ornate wedding band your way, a large diamond on the top.
Your eyes lit up. Jackpot.
“Holy shit, good find! If i was doing this on my own i might not have noticed it, thanks Bob!” You flashed him a warm smile.
You were about to get back to searching when you heard a strained groan from the couch. Fuck. Looks like you *just* missed his heart, huh?
You swiftly walked over to the couch with your pistol, pausing at the edge of it and pressing the tip of it to the guy’s temple, pulling the trigger.
…. Fuck, you forgot to reload.
“Hey, bob, you okay if i borrow a knife real quick?”
There was a pause until a knife suddenly flew at the ground, sticking into the wooden floor. Right next to your foot.
He couldve just handed it to you, but whatever. Guess he opted to nearly give you a damn heart attack. You pulled the knife out of the floor. You had your weapon now.
You placed your off-hand onto the back cushion of the couch, readying your knife at the man’s throat. You watched as he made one last struggled attempt to cry out, but to no avail.
You moved your knife swiftly, slashing his neck open and splattering blood onto you, killing him for good this time.
You stood still for a second before turning around, ready to give bob his knife back.
You jumped when you found bob inches away from your face. When the hell did he get so close behind you?!
“O-oh. Here’s your knife back.” You stuttered, caught completely off-guard. You held the knife in your hand as you waited for him to take it back.
..
…
….?
He carefully reached for the knife, but didnt take it from your hand. He held your hand around the handle, guiding it to his mouth, licking up the length of the bloodied blade while staring into your eyes, before slipping it out of your hand and back into its holster and promptly going upstairs for another filling, not saying a word.
You just stood for a minute, trying to conjure any possible thought. Why did he do that? And why was he looking into your eyes so…. hungrily? Why did you feel so damn nervous when he did it? It wasnt scary, you thought at least. You decided not to dwell on it for too long, refocusing back onto the hunt for more valuables. Its what you were here for anyways.
After a while, you decided to call it quits, you’d searched the house up and down for things, finding some stuff, but your proudest find of the night was that ring, and it want even found by you.
You and Bob were putting your duffle bag (and his suspiciously-squishy trash bags) into your car, hopping in yourselves a few moments after, you started the car and instinctively started driving to your house.
“Oh, wait, um, Bob, where are you living at the moment? Want me to drop you off?”
He thought for a second before answering, “don’t sweat it, sweetheart. Jus’ drop me off at this street up ‘ere and i’ll make my way back.” He pointed at a street near an alley up ahead and you simply nodded. No need to question it, you thought it was best to just accept it at this point.
You pulled up on the street and bob grabbed his trash bags, standing on the sidewalk and waving to you as you drove away back to your place.
…
Once you were home, you put your bounty in the lockbox in your bedroom, just so it wouldnt be seen or taken. Once you’d done that, you went and got ready for bed, opting to just get some food in the morning, you were too tired to think about eating after all you did tonight.