Chapter Text
Well darn… That didn’t go as planned.
Vash was upside-down, roped and bound by the Bad Lads Gang. He had been going for a walk that afternoon after booking a room in Jeneora Rock. The Bad Lads crossed his path, and he readily let them accost him. It was always best this way… to let the humans have control. They checked him for anything valuable and found none. Past experience had taught him to leave his bag and wallet someplace safe when he could. His person was not always the best option.
He had tried to keep things light, joking with the Gang and trying to diffuse the situation. All that earned him was a rope around his body and them carrying him off.
He kept fairly quiet through it all, giving them light protestations so they thought they had him. Vash didn’t want them to discover who he was. It would become a dangerous situation, and he really didn’t want to fight. He just needed them gone quickly… he could easily slip their knots. They hoisted up their bright red trophy and left him for the wams.
Vash gave the Gang about thirty minutes to get well away and sighed. He was just about to free himself when he heard two voices in his vicinity. A gruff, older masculine voice and a bright feminine voice. He went still, feigning death, hoping they wouldn’t notice him.
They did.
He was facing away–the blood had really rushed to his head now–but he remained still as he heard their footsteps in the sand.
“Looks like the work of the Bad Lads Gang…” the man drawled, “Yeesh! They did a real number on that poor slob.”
Through half-shut eyes, Vash saw a young woman enter his left periphery. He knew he looked too fresh and alive for them to leave him be. Might as well have some fun and make himself as little of a threat as possible.
He made a peace sign with his prosthetic hand before letting fall at his elbow. He had to resist chuckling as he heard the woman make small, startled sounds. He was a little surprised when he felt a tiny, warm hand grab his. That was brave of her. The prosthetic sent signals up his nerves at the contact. Vash held back a grin and released his forearm from his elbow saying, “Need a hand?”
The woman screamed, and he couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore. He saw her run, and he twisted his ankles in the rope, slowly spinning himself to face them as he laughed deep and loud from his belly. It was mostly for show, but the blood in his skull had him feeling a little giddy.
He was still laughing when he heard the woman say, “What a creep..”
The older man turned as he responded, “Ya got that right.”
Whoops… He was a little too silly. Vash called out, “Don’t leave me hangin’, friends!”
“No way…” The woman looked at him with worry.
He got the girl’s attention, and she came back to him. Another little surprise. He wasn’t actually expecting either of them to come back.
“We can’t just leave him here.” She bent down to grasp the rope around him.
“Rookie mistake…” The gruff voice of the older man chastised her.
Vash sighed, “Appreciate it.”
She undid the rope around his shoulders before he bent up, his abdomen pulling his upper body to his feet as he undid the rope around his ankles. He grabbed the rope with his one hand, dangling as his legs came down, and he dropped himself to the sand. He stood, straightening as he looked down at the girl. “Thanks!” He smiled. She was so small. Vash looked around for his arm, spotting it nearby, and walked over to pick it up. He shook the sand out of it, the wrist and fingers clacking together from being limp without their owner to control them. Vash sat down, crossing his legs and bracing himself to reattach the arm. He took a deep breath and connected it, wincing.
The girl looked down at him, concern in her voice, “Does that hurt?”
Vash looked up at her, smiling. “It’s just a little pinch.” He lied. White hot nerve pain had traveled up his remaining bicep to the base of his skull. He held his smile. The little prank had been worth it.
Her face relaxed a little. “How did you lose your arm?”
Vash closed his eyes into his smile. “In an accident when I was younger.” He held out his hand, twisting the forearm at the elbow to check the alignment before grabbing his wrist with his real hand. He felt the warmth from it through his prosthesis. Good, all of the sensors were working. He rotated his wrist and flexed his fingers, making sure each digit obeyed his signals.
The older man looked down at him. “You some kind of gunman?”
Vash cocked his head, not wanting that detail to be front and center. “Huh? Uhhh… I guess… but I’m really not much of a fighter.”
Another lie.
“That makes sense…” The girl was already unthreatened.
“Got some Lost Tech on ya, huh?” The older man asked.
Vash didn’t get to answer that question as they were alerted by the presence of the JuLai military police. He watched as the girl flagged them down. He got up quickly, stepping out of view. What were all these people doing out here? He just wanted to take a walk.
He listened as the police asked if the man and woman knew him. Vash was startled, knowing he’d be recognized, and he readied himself to run. He didn’t get the chance to even take one step before he heard the girl misdirect the police. He breathed a sigh of relief while questioning what would prompt her motives for helping him.
Once he saw the police leave, he stepped out from his hiding place and said “Gee! Thank you!” in a sing-song voice. He had barely finished expressing his gratitude when he saw the rope come for him again. The tiny girl lassoed him and gave him a tug.
She wasn’t very strong, but he let her yank him to the ground. He could have easily stayed upright, but he wanted to maintain his ruse of "helpless and pathetic."
“For what? I’ll turn you over as soon as I get my exclusive interview!” She kept dragging him across the sand, and he sneakily shimmied with his obliques and knees to help her. If he had to guess, she was half his size.
“Hey… good job, newbie!” praised the older man.
“Good job, Meryl,” she corrected him. Vash lifted his head to look at them. “And think about it… if this guy’s been falsely accused, it’s our duty as the press to clear his name.”
He smiled warmly at her. She was willing to give him a tiny chance…
Vash sat up, giving one little hop on his knees over to her. She was really tiny. He was only a few inches shorter than her in this position. He brightened his voice and face and said, “You don’t find defenders of justice every day! You’re a bonafide blessing, ya know?” A little flattery couldn’t hurt to win them over.
“Journalistic integrity!” Her voice chimed, and she scooted closer and flicked a hand to him. He giggled. She was adorable. “Don’t flatter me!” He tilted his head at her.
Vash heard the older man say, “What a load of crap…” but he couldn’t take his eyes off her.
“Here’s an idea… let’s beat the heat and get rolling on that interview at the diner nearby!” A little flirtation also couldn’t hurt.
She stopped her cute little movements and sounds. “Huh?”
Vash tilted his head too. “Huh?” Was he too forward? That was subtle and harmless enough…
She got in his face. She had pretty violet eyes… “Diner?! You doofus!” She bent down to pick up his rope, “We should have gone right away!” She gave him a tug, and he submitted to it, caught off guard by her reaction. “Over here?” She pulled him forward, and he vocally protested, but physically submitted, putting on a show of helplessness.
The girl yanked him around the sand, to and fro, trying to find the direction of the diner. She was so worked up and fiery, Vash could barely get a word in. He let himself be dragged and tugged around until his feet found purchase and he stood. He had to. She had started jogging with him. He clumsily stumbled after her, watching as she hopped and jumped, frustrated, in front of him. He continued his little facade of vocal protestations but grinned inside all the while. She was so cute.
She finally settled down enough and was panting, the heat getting to her. They both stopped jogging. He smiled goofily down at her.
“Newbie, let’s stop at the truck before we have your leashed puppy show us where the diner is.” He walked ahead of them to where the truck had died. Meryl followed, giving Vash a tug behind her. He complied, walking on.
They arrived at the truck, and the older man opened the passenger door to find a pack of cigarettes. The girl also opened the driver’s side door, pulling out her camera.
“So your name is Meryl?” Vash gave her an eager smile.
She turned from the truck and faced him. “Yes, Meryl Stryfe.” Meryl put out a hand, forgetting he was tied up.
He made do, turning his hip to extend the hand that was bound down his right side. It wasn’t too much of a stretch, given their height difference. “Vash the Stampede.” She grasped his hand and gave him a light shake. So tiny…
“And your friend?” He let go of her and nodded to the older man who had joined them.
The man reached out to Vash's hand at his hip, “Roberto de Niro.”
Vash gave his broad hand a shake and squeeze, the best he could manage, bound up as he was. He bowed his head at them. “Nice to meet you.”
Meryl huffed, holding the camera up, “Is it alright if I get a picture for the article?”
Vash nodded, hunching over a little to get in frame for her since she was close. She looked down, adjusting the camera settings, before she held it up to him.
“Smile!”
Vash did, holding up his right hand against his hip in the same peace sign he gave her when they met.