Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Flying back after a case, this one in Maine, the plane had never been so quiet. There was tension in the air, tension and concern. The balance of the team was unsettled. Hotch knew it. He knew he was the cause of it too.

Hotch should have confronted Garcia right away about what she had been privy to, the kiss and embrace between himself and Reid, but he hadn’t done so. It had been six weeks ago now. It was much too late to say anything to her.

Perhaps part of Aaron wanted to avoid hurting Penelope unnecessarily. After all, it wasn’t her fault. He was the one who had forgotten the video and audio feeds were open. He was the one who had gone against good manners and good sense, and had done the first thing he could think of to calm and comfort Reid. He was the one who had given into the temptation that had been burning in his heart. Why blame Garcia for his own weakness?

The problem was, Garcia had not kept her mouth shut about what she had seen.

Call it paranoid suspicion. Call it instinct. Hotch should have confronted Garcia long ago, should have made sure at least that she understood that she shouldn’t say anything. Six weeks. It was too late to say anything to her now. The damage was done.

At first, he couldn’t put his finger on how anyone could have known except through Garcia, because it was a point of pride between Hotch and Reid, being so totally professional at work that no one could waggle a finger, or point to a specific incident, or roll their eyes at any improper behavior. Discipline must be maintained, and there would be no favoritism. Yet in spite of this, everyone knew. So Garcia had to have opened her mouth.

What the rest of the BAU team imagined was far more tantalizing than reality. Hotch and Reid hadn’t so much as kissed since West Virginia. There had been a long hug or two. There had been a movie night last weekend, and a back rub which had ended with Spencer curled up asleep in Aaron’s arms. Hotch had sat perfectly still for the longest time, stroking Reid’s hair until they both had fallen asleep.

Reid was recovering from Mariner’s attack, and resuming normal activities at work, and he didn’t need the distraction of romance. The biggest side effects from the concussion appeared to be sensitivity to bright light and very mild narcolepsy. Or perhaps Reid was just easily tired out. The whole incident in the offices on his first Friday back? That had been an enormous cry for attention and work—give me something to do with myself! Inactivity would drive Reid insane. Aaron couldn’t bear the idea that his actions could lose Reid his job, and so, being mindful of Spencer’s state of health and state of mind, he had backed off from an overt inner- office relationship that could cost one or both of them their jobs. Except that backing off entirely wasn’t what he wanted, and it wasn’t what Reid wanted either.

Hotch was also mindful that what he had done, twice now, was wholly inappropriate, and the very wrongness of it weighed on him. He resolved to try again, but do it right the second time around. A rushed seduction was like a rushed meal—you were full, but your stomach was unsettled. This time Hotch would move more slowly. He would nudge Reid carefully towards the idea that Aaron did care about him in a romantic sense, that this wasn’t all about lust. Reid had to decide for himself if he felt the same way. Aaron didn’t want Spencer to feel obligated to respond in kind because he was totally under Hotch’s control. Hotch would show that he was interested, and he would let Reid make all the moves.

In spite of his feelings, Hotch was trying his level best to treat Reid like any other member of his team – important to him but not above the others – and Reid was responding very, very well to this equal treatment. Two weeks back to work, two cases under his belt, and Spencer was becoming himself again, even while pretending he didn’t feel Aaron’s concerned gaze on him at all times. In watching Reid, Hotch also watched other members of the team to gauge their responses to even the possibility that he was interested in the young doctor.

Garcia was the easiest to read, her open heart constantly on her sleeve. She beamed happily when she would see Hotch and Reid talking together, even if it was something as simple as “more sugar?” at the coffee pot. Maybe her sweet nature was the reason Hotch hadn’t been mad at her for opening her mouth. She probably had felt like she was spreading good news. Hotch did want the rest of the team to know without having to tell them himself. The very judicious use of a known mouthpiece was a good way to let out a trickle of information without printing it up in a memo.

To: SSA Hotchner’s BAU Team
From: SSA Hotchner
RE: Inner-office Romance

I may or may not be intent on winning the romantic affections of Dr. Spencer Reid. This may or may not be any of your business. Thank you for noticing, and not noticing as well. And thank you for not pointing out the impropriety of this strictly- verboten activity. That will be all. - AH

JJ was more subtle but no less approving than Garcia was. Jareau made sure that Hotch and Reid were seated next to each other at the conference table at work, at the dinner table if they ate out as a group, leaving open the seat to Hotch’s right and taking the one to his left instead. Everyone else would look to JJ for direction, and take a different seat too. Reid, generally late, would take the seat to Hotch’s right, oblivious to the significance, and nod good morning to everyone. Or he would take the seat at the dinner table and not make the connection that the shift in seating made any difference. There was no way to fix this. Hotch could not make everyone sit where propriety dictated. What’s more, he liked having Reid near to him, being able to judge his mood each morning, or being able to very discretely profile his mood in the evening. JJ knew this, she had read him, and it annoyed Hotch that she had read him so damned well.

Prentiss kept her thoughts and her face neutral usually, but she had smiled a little too long when Hotch divided up tasks last week and took Reid with himself. That was easy to fix—Hotch paired Reid with Morgan on the case this week. Only that this made Emily frown at him in that way that said he was being an unfeeling jerk. Her permission might have mattered a bit more than everyone else’s, considering the fact she had had a prior personal relationship with Spencer. She was the one who would have the most to complain about, and yet, she was not complaining— not in public and certainly not in private either. She hadn’t exactly given permission, but she had denied it either, and so if her silence could be read as permission, Hotch felt that Emily approved.

Rossi disapproved. There was no putting a happy face on that. It pained Dave to watch interactions between Hotch and Reid, no matter how innocent, no matter how professional, no matter the circumstances. Reid even walked in the room, and Rossi would tense up. Hotch could feel in his bones that he and Rossi were going to be having A Serious Talk soon.

Morgan was outright angry at Hotch—there was no way he could have hidden it. He was seated next to Spencer on the plane tonight, and he was glaring in Hotch’s direction. Sure, Morgan had been protective of Reid before the Mariner incident. But now that Reid was finally allowed to work cases again with the BAU team, Morgan’s personal attentiveness skyrocketed. Morgan was obviously still stinging because when first awakening, Reid had been afraid of him. The fact that Reid had been somewhat out of his mind didn’t make any difference. Derek was worried that he was somehow frightening Reid on a regular basis and he needed to stop. The brutal teasing and physical man- handling of the younger, smaller agent came to an abrupt end. When he touched Reid, it was with great gentleness. The joking remarks about Reid’s vague sexuality had stopped as well.

Morgan was taking the self-appointed role of being Spencer’s guardian very seriously. On location this case, being paired with Spencer, Morgan had shepherded Reid around, stayed close to him, looked after him. During off-duty times the last two weeks, precious hours when Hotch would have liked the opportunity to have Reid all to himself, Morgan had been making every excuse to be around Reid. It was rare for Hotch to have a chance to talk to Spencer without Morgan calling to check up on him or actually showing up on his doorstep. The movie night had happened by accident, sort of. Well, Hotch might have turned Reid’s phone off. And his own cell off. And not answered the door when there had been quiet but insistent knocking. He told himself that he didn’t want to move because he would wake Reid up, and so he had ignored the door until the knocking stopped.

Flying back tonight from Bangor, Hotch watched with dismay as Reid fell asleep sitting up in his seat. Hotch fidgeted around in place as Morgan did all the things that he himself longed to be able to do— tilt Reid’s seat back so he wouldn’t fall over, pull a blanket from storage and tuck it around his skinny frame. Spencer shivered at the touch, and Morgan drew back, motioning “stay put” with both hands. Reid did not open his eyes. Morgan exhaled softly, as did Prentiss, who was seated across from Reid.

Morgan saw Hotch watching this, and Derek stayed put by Spencer’s side, giving Aaron an unsmiling, penetrating stare. All verbal conversation on the plane died away until landing had begun. Prentiss peered up over the back of the seat, catching Hotch’s eyes, ducking back down again. Aaron saw her boot Derek in the foot, and shake her head at him. Morgan frowned at her, and kept glaring at Hotch. Prentiss pulled out her cell and started tapping keys. Morgan’s cell vibrated. He pulled it out, and read the message. He booted Emily in the foot.

An unexpected shift, a waggle of the wings on descent, caused Spencer to jolt awake with a sharp yelp, terror on his face for a fleeting second before he was able to hide it again. Morgan took the closest, shaking hand and curled it with his own. Prentiss petted his knees. Reid calmed down quickly, or at least concealed his emotions behind his walls. Morgan and Prentiss let go of his extremities. Hotch noticed not for the first time in recent weeks how damned thin Reid was getting, especially in comparison to Morgan.

The Serious Talk between Morgan and Hotch consisted of an exchange on the tarmac after the flight. JJ took one look at Morgan, and bolted for her car. Rossi paused, looked to Morgan, got in his car, and drove away as well. Prentiss steered the drowsy Reid into the passenger seat of her car, and they were gone too.

Morgan stayed by Hotch, waiting for the others to leave. Derek then turned to Hotch and put a hand on the door of his vehicle, preventing him from opening it.

“I won’t let you take advantage of him again.”

The opening salvo was sharp and direct. Hotch blinked, not hiding the hurt that the accusation caused.

“I know what you did to Reid,” Derek explained. So, no surprise there.

Hotch cleared his throat, set down his bag, hoping that the video and audio link had indeed been disconnected on the laptop when he closed the cover.

“It wasn’t…it’s not…..I think you’ve misunderstood what happened,” Aaron struggled for words, knowing he was sounding like every other creep that preyed on vulnerable people.

“You don’t know how many times since I found out that I’ve wanted to walk up to you and punch you straight in the face,” Morgan declared angrily.

“I am not taking advantage of Reid,” Aaron managed to get the sentence out. Even he didn’t believe himself.

“How could I have been so stupid? Why didn’t I see what you were doing? You practically held him prisoner for a week. Driving him back home instead of flying? That was about having him to yourself, wasn’t it? Making him just insecure and vulnerable enough to fall under your spell? Getting him to imprint on you? Making him feel obligated to you for your kindness? Now he’s under your control, and he’ll do anything you ask him to do?”

“Morgan, I don’t know what Garcia told you, but….”

“She didn’t have to tell me anything. I saw.”

“Reid was upset. I wasn’t thinking. I wanted to comfort him. I kissed him.”

“Comfort?” Morgan demanded, screwing up his face in hatred and anger. “So was it comfort too when you drove him home drunk and fucked him into next week? Then yelled at me and Prentiss for letting him get drunk? Was that comfort?”

“No. That was stupid of me. Stupid and selfish.”

It occurred to Hotch that this situation with himself and Reid was dredging up memories for Morgan of his mentor Carl Buford who had taken advantage of him when he was a teen. That was the last thing Aaron had intended, but now that the parallels had come to mind, it made him feel that much more obligated to clear the situation up with Derek. He didn’t want to lose his team member’s confidence, or his friendship, over this misunderstanding.

Why was it that profilers could be the worst people about jumping to conclusions?

It also occurred to Hotch that he was dealing with another Alpha male. Maybe he didn’t have all his facts straight, and this display from Morgan was more of a territorial dispute than a protective reaction. He studied Morgan closely, wondering if he had missed the obvious. He stopped being diplomatic with his word choice.

“Am I in your space?” Aaron asked.

“In my space?” Morgan flushed.

“Are you already in a relationship Reid?”

“HOTCH! NO!” Derek sputtered, putting down his bag and throwing up his arms. “This isn’t about me wanting Reid for myself. This is about watching you use your position of power and authority over my friend, someone very vulnerable, someone with deep-set parental abandonment issues, someone with no self-esteem and even less self-respect, someone who will do anything to feel your approval, and someone who is dealing with another situation where he couldn’t defend himself and he was physically assaulted. I’m worried he thinks belonging to you will make him feel more secure, and I’m worried that you’re feeding those insecurities by making him feel that he can’t take care of himself.”

“I swear to you I’m…..another situation?” Hotch questioned, hearing his own voice give way.

“Didn’t you know?” Morgan stopped himself.

“Know what?”

“I shouldn’t be telling you private things.”

“You mean the business with Hankel? Morgan, did something happen between Reid and Hankel that Reid didn’t put into his report?”

“No. No. Not on the job. This was a long time ago. When he was in high school. I shouldn’t be telling you this. It’s private.”

“Morgan, you should tell me, because Reid is never going to open up to me about things like that, but it’s things like that I desperately need to know, so I can avoid hurting him.”

They got in Hotch’s car and sat and talked. Morgan told Hotch about how in high school, Reid had been lured to the football field by a girl he had a crush on, and how he had been grabbed by the football team. How he had been stripped naked and tied up and left. How no one had come to his defense, just stood around watching no matter how much Reid had begged. How he had managed to free himself and make it home, only to have his mom be totally oblivious and unconcerned about his condition or his absence either one.

All the while as Derek spoke, all Hotch could wonder was what had really happened to Reid that day at the hands of the football players. The hair stood up on his neck and arms. He was terrified for that boy – had he been he all of twelve years old even? Hotch calculated the odds of nothing beyond being stripped and bound happening to someone in such a disadvantaged situation, and the odds were pretty unlikely the episode had ended the way Reid had said. Hotch suspected that what Reid had told Morgan was the PG-13 version, and not the entire truth about the situation.

What had Reid had to do to get someone to untie him? Hotch wanted to throw up. He couldn’t let himself imagine it. Hotch was pretty sure Morgan suspected Reid had lied about certain aspects of the incident, and yet he had the sensitivity not to say so either to Reid or to Hotch. No wonder Morgan was being so protective of Reid over the possibility of a sexual liaison with his boss. Hotch put his head in his hands, rubbed his forehead, cleared his throat and faced Morgan again.

“I promise you,” Hotch swore. “I have no intention of taking advantage of Reid. The last thing I would ever do is intentionally hurt him. I really do care about him. If it will make you feel better, you could even chaperone us.”

Morgan shook his head grimly. The distrust washed out of his features, but the concern in his eyes never wavered.

“There’s no way I could do that without insulting Reid, but I appreciate the offer. You just be careful with him. He might put up this tough front, but down inside, he is so, so fragile,” Derek warned. “Hotch, please. Please be careful with him.”

Morgan opened the door and disappeared into the night, striding across the tarmac and getting into his own vehicle.

Hotch sighed with relief. He had survived the first test. He had Morgan’s permission.